Nerd Poker

Ken's roll at the end of the last episode turns out to be even wilder than everyone expected, and the dragon confrontation ends up weirder than anyone could have predicted (except maybe a couple of players who hint at some of it). Will THE EQUALER put the wyrms in their place?!

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Well it's time to tidy up that slightly messy situation we're in. Pishposh just have to free the impossibly trapped Topaz dragon (that Pishposh trapped) and the rest of the crew just has to smash the eggs that they probably need Pishposh's staff to smash. Hopefully nobody mean shows up to interrupt anyone!

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Pishposh will now make a solo attempt to recruit a gem dragon (nbd) while everyone else lies to Glutt and makes a mad dash for the village. Surely the village can defend itself and lend help to the party! Well wait-how well defended was it the last time we were there? Uh oh.

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We are back! Blaine and Sarah are ready for action, but for this and the next episode they had to Zoom call into Brian's dining room, as they got sick a second time in a row. But we couldn't wait any longer to get you an adventure! It's time to get down to some dragon deception, and stop those haunted Glutt eggs from hatching. 

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Apologies for the lateness, we all caught COVID and need time to heal before playing in person. 

We did record Patreon bonuses, those are on the way!

Alright alright alright, we're almost at the nest of the dragon Glutt sooooo- let's talk about what (and who) to destroy!  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

We're JUUUUUUUST about done tidying up this whole acid river / acidfalls business, with the top of Mount Dooks only a quick trip upwards. As long as this bone naga doesn't hypnotize anyone again, which it is definitely going to try and do, we just may survive. That's even better than "not a TPK!" As usual, Glibbles falls down.

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Well we just might kill some of the damned acid monsters ruining our dragon-murder parade! A second waterfall is played in, and probably nobody is dropped in the death river. Again.

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The leisurely river cruise everyone signed up for continues to be interrupted by a bunch of very rude monsters trying to murder everyone, and a certain NPC face-plants in some blooms of acid flora. Oh, and RIP to Dave the Quaggoth. You were the worst, but you were a real one.

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We did it! We got our little kitty friend out of the horrible churning acid river! Although now with a distinct lack of fur Blep is back in action, casting Duplicity and turning the tide of battle. It seems that as long as monsters stop popping up out of the river, they'll conquer the mountain and snatch those dragon eggs any second.

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Whoops! Someone threw the Blep out with the acid bath! Luckily Blaine is back to guide Blep out of the acid river that he was dunked into, but who will save him? Also, is Glibbles the goblin ever going to NOT botch? Sadly we have no Sarah this episode or next, schedule permitting we hope everyone is back in the same room soon.

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Time to grab the recently revived Glibbles and fly through an acid waterfall! Wait, we are like, ONE person shy of flying everyone. You know what's a great idea? Let's resurrect an NPC we ruthlessly slaughtered, take him hostage, and demand he fly the last remaining person! And let's let him decide to to fly, couldn't possibly be a weird choice! There, all that's taken care of- away to the final boss we go without a care in the world!

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The resurrection staff in Pishposh's hands, it's time for what we do best: make logical choices! Clearly, Glibbles is about to be brought back, and we absolutely are not about to bring back a character who has already refused resurrection. That would be too weird! Regardless, if one of our cast members is willing to rise to the occasion and do a one-person show portraying multiple player characters. Sadly Blaine got sick, and despite a month of trying to get us all in the same room we do not have a full crew for episodes 17 and 18. Thank you for your patience! 

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That's right, scheduling and time got away from us. Too many people weren't in California this May and we ran out of banked episodes. We hope you'll stick with us, tell your friends how awesome this in-person campaign is, and we'll see you over on Patreon. We are recording some special Patreon bonus episodes as this very announcement is released! Thanks, and we're very sorry.

Hopefully Dan is almost done torturing everyone with a torture room that is possibly the rudest, most effed up room he has ever made in this silly game. If they can just smash this last surprise (please let it be the last one) they can continue up the mountain to- fight eggs? It seemed like it would be a dragon fight but all inanimate objects are no longer to be trusted.

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Everyone is on their last legs, both our heroes and the horde of blood-soaked quaggoth. Heroes fall, rise, and fall again. If they could just stop getting blinded, possessed, and poisoned this could all turn around! And soon it will, one way or the other. 

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The Quaggoth situation is only more and more bloody. Pish Posh is down, and Mordecai is managing a few status issues. And in classic Nerd Poker fashion, one of our crew cannot make it to the episode (Sarah) and that means their character (Brix) gets pushed repeatedly to the brink of death.

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The torture chamber has exploded in flame, and the crew now faces wave 2 of the quaggoth qreeps. There's the usual lackeys, another giant one, and now a floaty one with a staff. And uh, nobody has rested since the last wave. Some people definitely die this episode, but we can't promise whether they're NPCs or now. RIP Sarah's new monk??

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Wow so the torture chamber really IS a place where people could lose a limb? Our mountainy crew cuts through a wave of quaggoth and takes a peek at a cage with what may be a surviving captive. Probably a friend. Probably no more waves of quaggoth. Probablies!

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Welp, the ol' Dungeon Master made good on his promise to for this to be a deadly campaign. And now a cheery lil' torture room full of death bears! Okay let's stop being falsely optimistic for laffs, Dan has gone bonkers and we're all going to die. Please send help. *flares go up in the vast arctic sky as the boat sinks beneath an ice berg*

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Our crew continues to engage in what is hopefully just a friendly game of drop-the-stone-scythe. So, time to wrap up this fight with the- undead demi-god? Or whatever? Juniper will probably be fine. 

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Oh an archfey. That's probably not that big a deal, just that thing that some people worship that cause trickery that undoes reality. And this is just a chill little negotiation where we give away some trayzure! Easy peasy.

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New artifact! Giant ghost vanquished through persuasion! The crew is on a roll! So as long as the next thing they meet isn't, you know, omnipotent or something, they'll probably be fine. Oh right, a Total Party Kill is supposed to be possible this game. So it might be a god. Probably not though!

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Haunted mountain stairwell ahoy! The giant behind them and a Glibbles in their pocket, our crew get to ascending stairs that aren't for touching. There is surely violence at the top, it sure would be nice if it was a chill use of common stairs, and not a series of horrors! Whoops, it's the horrors thing.

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Sooooo this fight with a mutated giant and a pile of sentient viscera has been fun and all, but it feels like about time to get the hell out of here. Our heroes kinda wanted to sneak through, and they'd like to honor that intention by not dying. And how we enjoy being in person, because it leads to things like locking eyes with Blaine and preparing ourselves for more cat jokes.

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As Pish Posh begins some very unpleasant business with the Flesh Meld and Glibbles sits in Juniper's pocket, it begins to seem as though Dan is more than willing to make good on his TPK threats. Hopefully everyone won't wipe on the first fight. Although that could also be fun!

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It is time to traverse The Pillars of Despair Murder! The plan to jump from pillar to pillar unseen obviously fell apart long ago, but Glibbles the goblin is unafraid to lead the group anyway. Hammers will fall, and so will humanoids clinging for dear life. 

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Behold! A mighty hero emerges from the heavens to alleviate the burden placed on our heroes. Finally, with the help of this powerful bastion hope, there is a chance the vile dragon Glut will be slain. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

It's time to head to the actual mountain! While the crew debates how to spell Mount Dukes, it becomes clear that yes indeed they picked the weirdest and hardest of the three paths. 

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Our heroes meet around Brian's table for the first time in almost 4 years! And some other heroes show up (the pencil and paper kind). There's two mountains, a dragon, and a nest. How will we rid this valley of the terrifying dragon menace? Only time will tell!  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

A quick message from Brian!

What's that? A special Christmas message from Brian? That's right! We recorded in Brian's house and we can't wait for you to hear it! We just need the holidays to pass so we can actually, you know, be available to record more in a timely fashion! Thanks so much for sticking with us! 

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Thank you for following us here, please support us on Patreon if you can. We will see you soon, IN PERSON PLAY INCLUDED.

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Our season finale is here! Dan attempts to tie a tidy little bow on five season's worth of narrative (hence the season-long boss fight). Crits connect, epic praise is heaped upon the surviving members of the Ice Five, an old friend returns, and Gus makes his pitch for becoming a demi-god. Thanks for listening, we hope to start new stories soon and invite in new listeners! Creating this world has been fun and the whole crew appreciates each and every listener who has kept the lights on thus far. For Glinnishmore!

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The doors to the courtyard have been opened and the real, very really final boss of the campaign has revealed itself. Will our heroes triumph or be smote upon the cobblestone? Listen and find out! 

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There are warforged at the gates of the evil city... Probably friends, right? In the meantime let's try to get out of here without stumbling onto another boss fight. 

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Oh riiiiight! We're not just in a crumbling tomb, but that tomb is in a weird pocket dimension, which is connected to the castle with a swirling vortex tether thing. Well you know what that means- it's balcony surfin' time! Maybe! 

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It's time to take the elevator up and get out of this tomb in an evil pocket dimension. Most of the crew is rolling well, but of course not everyone is. And no word on those damn NPCs, some of which they dragged down there, others not so much. Time to find out who esapes and who doesn't! 

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That Orcus is a pile of eyebally ooze, but it's never too late for Dan to keep that TPK dream alive. The crew is rushing towards a tomb of dead royalty... that's probably fine, right?

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With the floating demi-god crown in tow, it's time to book it the hell outta here. The boss... bosses?... is/are dead so this is probably not going to be hard or anything. Dan would never collapse the dungeon for a TPK after the big victory. Right?

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The mood has shifted for testicular-pulverization-reasons (no spoilers!) and its time to make a fast retreat from the battlefield. Hopefully only 5 or 6 NPCs will be left behind!

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Well it took him long enough, but Orcus has realized that the elemental guy slamming his demon nards over and over again is something of a problem. Sorry Blaine, but this one's probably gonna hurt. 

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Blaine continues what now feels like a months-long ritual of destroying Orcus' genitals. Death saves are in the future of some characters, and apparently the players expected that to happen because it's a very emotional experience to get that far.

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Yes, this is a reference to what Blaine is doing to the demon Orcus. The final battle appears to be turning in the favor of Ronnie's Raiders! Hopefully this is a very chill and not at all passive-aggressive dungeon master we're dealing with, and this will end better than Season 3.

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It was bound to happen if an evil, gigantic creature was walking around. Someone's character would inevitably realize whilst running between their legs that the canopy above was ripe for called shots. And then, of course, there would be disgusting riffs. Classic Nerd Poker, enjoy!  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

With the megalich bamfing in and out of existence, Ronnie's Raiders realize they should perhaps focus on killing the pig lord of death, Orcus. Meanwhile the NPCs keep getting slapped around to the point of being a real moral investment. Will our heroes survive all this time management?!

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You know what really helps when you're fighting some really evil jerks? When one of them dips out of existence. Hopefully he won't reappear inside someone's body and make them explode like Blaine did on that one bonus episode!

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Orcus now fully engages the crew along with Vallux, and NPCs start to get roughed up pretty bad. Need cheering up? Say the title of this episode out loud and it sounds like "orcas attack." Which, at the time of this episode's release, is a current news item! Sorry, yachts!

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Naturally it's a rough fight for Ronnie's Raiders, who are attacking Vallux relentlessly but unsure how to deal with the elder demon slowly stomping towards them from the next room. Maybe he just wants to ask a question and then he'll go back to bed. Maybe Terry will show up and save the world?

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Time for everyone to fight the evil lich king we have heard about for 4 years! This is fine. Everything's fine.

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A big old evil tunnel leading up to a big old evil door. The time has come for vanquishing evil many campaigns in the making. Will they set it all on fire? 

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No big deal, guys. Our crew just has to deal with a harmless little cave river. Probably not cursed or anything, just happens to be flowing past the lair of a millenia-old lich king. Nothing to worry about here. Everything's fine. This is fine.

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Now that the herd has been thinned out a bit (RIP beloved NPC) it's time for everyone to make a choice- do they try to crack the elaborate puzzle laid out before them in the enchanted door, or do they smash through it because puzzles are for jerks? To our credit, we do CONSIDER the first option.

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Ronnie's Raiders are at the precipice of something huge, you know, just an uncomfortable ultimate evil presence. Now that they're in the king's basement kicking open his coffins, it's only a matter of time before they open a door and get to say hello.

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With the sad old headless king roasted, exploded, and generally annihilated, it's now time to loot and investigate his death chamber! Or, you know, we could just set it all on fire. Sorry, no Chris Tallman, he is shooting television but he will be back next episode! 

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Why not just start opening sarcophogi? What's the worst that can happ- oh right it could be cursed and absorb weapons and try to murder everybody. Enjoy the deliciously dark combat, the debate over whether Winifred has all her fingers, and what kind of toilet rat t-shirt we should start making!

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It's time for Ronnie's Raiders to do what they do best: upset the final resting grounds of some ancient evil! Also, to those who have asked, the group is still settling on the final spelling and also goes by Ronnie's Raiderz.  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The crew just left an elevator filled with acid, so things are probably going to get super cheery and tidy now! And, finally, the fearless leader of the group names the crew. Just in time! There's some coffins to root around in a musty inter-dimensional tomb. 

The torture room cleared (except for the huge gruesome mess) our heroes arrive inside some sort of evil elevator. That's right- an evilator! Do they use that word within the episode? No. But all like to have fun around here. 

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The big beefy demon dude with a plate of iron nailed to his face has tumbled into a corner of a stairwell and it's getting pretty dicey to just stand around in that stairwell. What lies on the other side of the door at the bottom is what comes next, and yeah, it's probably gonna be a mean trap that everyone saw coming but almost kills them anyway.

The big disgusting bad guy is no match for a bunch of heroes who like to pin big bad disgusting bad guys into a corner! Also there's 4-5 NPCs around now, which feels pretty cozy! May the only blood spilt be that of evil, and what everyone decides to dump on the floor because they saw it on a torture table and it freaked them out. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The group enters a room where the NPCs go bonkers, more NPCs are discovered, and they all go bonkers too. Time to light it all up! 

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We left our last episode on a cliffhanger- will Queep and Friar Jolly survive the low roll in the swirling green magic tunnel?! Well, Dan kind of cut Ken off so, Ken might actually have a plan. Also first we have to get to a particularly ribald round of listener thanks with a special visit from Billy. We missed you Chris!

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No big deal, just an extremely haunted library to get through, and then our intrepid heroes can descend into the horrors beneath the royal keep. Though all the NPCs are still alive, shocking as that may be, between the four of them only one of them isn't one foot in the grave. Pretty much everyone has been maimed at one point or another. And things are only just starting to get risky.

Chris Tallman is back! Ken is too! The full crew is faced with the prospect of fixing an undead Bunk, who may or may not be in the process of being posessed by the archlich. And, well, leave it to our crew to take a morbid DM choice and basically dare the DM to do it.

Sometimes you just gotta make a giant murder worm explode. Sure there was collateral damage and the room is a pile of rubble, but nobody probably heard anything. Let's just get everyone... mostly patched up and march boldly forth to the north! Sorry no Ken or Chris- Chris will be back soon, and Ken had a last minute thing! We tried to snag everyone, and will ASAP.

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Sadly there's no new episode this week, but we are recording and will have it next time!

What's a purple worm fight without a massacre? Well, we sure don't know. Everyone is in pieces and its time to see who can be put back together and who is gonna end up all Humpty Dumpty and shattered on the castle floor. 

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Things get bleak when it comes to worm murder, and so the riffs get as weird as humanly possible. Sadly no Chris Tallman for a few episodes, but he is doing well and we he'll be back ASAP. 

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Well, it was bound to happen. A gigantic classic monster exploded up from beneath the royal hall, and is taking chomps from our heroes. As long as everyone rolls well this should all be fine. Right? For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

The path cleared, the crew must now crack open the doors to the royal hall, which appear to have been overgrown with magic vines for years, if not decades. It feels pretty unfun, because even though two of our heroes can speak to magic plants, there's probably some other horror waiting on the other side of these doors, because the DM is a dick.

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The royal hall of the lich king is buried in thorns, brambles, and branches. Luckily two of our crew are experienced at dealing with flora, Dr. Uid of course, but also newcomer (and huge fan of Dr. Drew Hugh Uid) Winifred Wintergem. As long as the plant isn't terrifying this should be no problem at all!

A brief message from us to you, the people who make our dreams come true! Look, it's a song! Patreon supporters- our Decemebr bonus eps are still on the way!

After an official, heavily rehearsed Christmas Carol, our crew just might focus enough to take down the gigantic gelantinous cube and the clutch of will-o-wisps. Will they save the mysterious wizard, or will they kinda forget he's there and let him get annihilated? Hell, maybe they will straight up forget they're in combat and do impressions the whole episode. Guess and take bets. and Happy Holidays dear listeners! 

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If you've ever wanted to imagine a monk punching acidic jelly, well then today is your day! The battle with the gelatinous cube continues, and hopefully Dan will get to live out his dream of seeing one of his friends' characters get dissolved slowly in suspended animation!

Back to the action! It's time to raid the Royal Hall, which is bound to have more activity within than some of the patrol hallways. And that means the real dungeon crawl is beginning in earnest! Hopefully nobody will already get dissolved!

Nerd Poker is turning 10 years old! And Dan has something sneaky up his sleeve to surprise the rest of the cast, but you get to know before you listen. Gerry shows up, and we all sip wine and Scotch while goofing off, talking about old games, doing bits way off the rails, and generally being dumb. 

Our crew has gotten through swarms of harpies, retinues of soldiers, and spooky ancient traps. Now ahead we see the royal hall, the vile archlich king somewhere in its subterannean chambers. Time to rest and make a terrible mistake? Did someone just eat a Mexican pizza? We shall see! Happy Thanksgiving, listeners!

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If progress is to be made towards the lich's keep, first this small sample of his army must be dealt with. And if you're looking for some classic decaptitations, boy do we have an episode for you!

Oh great, they finally found the undead army patrolling the castle. All that stands between our crew and progress are iron portcullises and a inconvenient levers, why'd some dumb evil elves have to mess with us?

There's a lich imprisoned up in the turret, and our crew is still deciding what to do with him exactly. Rob him though? Absolutely. What crew do you think we're talking about anyway?!

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Our heroes have hit a bit of an impasse, a giant iron portcullis before them. There's this totally chill, probably not trapped or haunted turret sitting right there, so why not walk up there? What's the worst that could happen?

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After finding some elves unstuck in time, our heroes attempt to escape the abandoned kitchen and catch up with Bunk the halfling, somewhere in a hallway probably not infected with magic pink mold. Probably.

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Realizing it's in their best interest to keep a low profile, our crew sneaks through the castle-city's walls, the undead army's ranks mostly missing as they spread throughout the realm in search of other heroes. Surely, sneaking through a largely abandoned undead army wall won't include any untoward surprises!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

As the crew ventures into the outer walls of Vyndarea they begin to realize how old (and weird) the denizens are. But when in doubt, set it all on fire.

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The massive city-castle looming large, our heroes approach from the cliffside. What Telfer-esque horrors loom inside? Probably something with too many fingers that breathes magma. Listen, and find out! 

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It's time to loot the harpy cave! Our intrepid crew has slunk up to a mysterious door, the sounds of soft breathing on the other side. What horrors might lie on the other side? Well we can promise you one thing: there is ZERO chance you will see this one coming.

The heroes clean up the harpy mess, we swear, and begin to explore the chambers before them, the vile castle looming large above. Hopefully Bunk doesn't get himself murdered by teleporting into a harpy pile again.

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Our heroes pull out all the stops in their first battle- silver flames are summoned and magical songs are sung, while arm blades slash, axes fly, and Dr. Uid's forehead vein pulses. But the gravity of the situation is suddenly clear as a filth cloud threatens to take down everyone, even though they've just met.

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Looks like the first fight of the campaign is a bloody one, as dozens of harpies begin to dogpile our heroes and the hit points begin to disappear. Hopefully everyone has the stamina, and the level 8 powers, that they need to make it out alive.

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Looks like the cave has all those eyeless owl harpies you ordered! After deftly disarming a trap and interrogating a corpse, it's time to test our heroes' mettle in combat!  For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

As our crew commits to travelling through the caves, the harpy encounter is imminent. Hopefully Ronnie is used to his role as "leader" because his friends will need his help if they want to avoid becoming the food of eyeless barn owl creatures. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com. And for 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker.

Our wary party has begun their trek into the misty caves, and it's not long before things get super creepy. Sadly the entire boat full of heroes isn't along for the dungeon crawl together, but we get a chance to get to know everyone, even Bunk the Donkeyland halfling, a little bit better.

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They haven't even been dropped off at the main quest yet, and already our crew is getting into spectral boat related mayhem, and confusing NPCs who may or may not want to join the party. It remains to be seen whether the party will make it into the dungeon! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

It's time to meet a brand new cast of characters, as the season begins on a boat piloted by a drunken fairy named Goggo, as it heads to an evil castle. The dreaded king and archlich Vallux lies within, and it's up to a very ragtag and boisterous crew to stop him! For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Before every campaign, there is planning! And we thought that this time we'd let listeners be privvy to all of it. Enjoy hanging out with all of us as we contemplate whether to create new characters, bring back old ones, or create a spin that ties both together (which is what one of us does). Soon these five folks will delve into the dark castle of Vyndairea, solving puzzles and slaying evil beings in the hopes of slaying an archlich. We're excited to be back!

For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Dan checks in with everyone to let them know a new adventure starts very soon, but you can catch up on a bazillion exclusive adventures over on patreon.com/nerdpoker. Listen all the way through for some hints of what Season 5 has in store!

Behold! Whilst we get ready for Season 5, enjoy this early 2020 bonus episode straight from Brian's house! Kevin Sussman from The Big Bang Theory comes by and takes our crew on one of their more... chaotic adventures. We hope you can come support us on www.patreon.com/nerdpoker and help keep this podcast alive!

The battle peaks. Lives in the balance. A small being's silhouette sits upon the steering wheel of a ship.

The vampire who has cornered the cuties seems to have summoned his greatest monster, a shadowy demon that now sucks life from the cuties one by one. Also this is a morning recording on a Monday, enjoy the odd change in tone! We're more awake and yet somehow more weary at the same time.

The mess in the temple is only getting messier. Will the Castaway Cuties make it out alive? Well, some of them anyway?

Trapped in the Temple of Bahamut (which you know, doesn't sound bad on its own) an eerie voice calls to the Castaway Cuties through the blocked door. Hopefully the Dungeon Master hasn't recently watched the movie Green Room! Oh wait he did...

Time to finally shatter this phylactery. Hopefully. Should be simple. Just a big old demon lord stuck to it, should be no big deal. And no big that the Castaway Cuties feel like they're being watched. This campaign should wrap up real nice and easy!

The finish line is seemingly only inches away, as the Castaway Cuties and their new barbarian friend approach the temple of Bahamut beneath Flaysacolan ruins. Hopefully the creepy glowing green eyes in the dark are friendly!

The Castaway Cuties know where they want to go, but unfortunately it's something they only really visited in another timeline. All they have to do is get past some undead elf soldiers. Seems like not much can go wrong!

The last bits of the battle need to be tidied up, and a helpful new adventurer arrives to join the Castaway Cuties.

While the swarm of guards is thinning out, the Castaway Cuties are running out of spell slots, hit points, and death saves. We shan't say more, this one is a must-listen.

Undead elf knights pile on the Castaway Cuties, as well as something even more disgusting. At least they're not squishing around under the gallows anymore!

Yipes, this cave battle is getting very ugly for the Castaway Cuties. Hopefully amongst the bodies there will be a few good saving throws. And death saving throws.

It's time to sneak into Flaysacola, as that town is now apparently run by undead elves and that's probably going to be a problem. The Castaway Cuties must now decide whether to climb a cliff, go for a swim, or enter a mysterious cave. Surely climbing the cliff wouldn't take a year, like climing that boat did last season.

If it isn't that anti-beastfolk guard who got chummed for a dragon turtle in S4E1? Hmm welp in this timeline things are SURE to go less horribly this time... right?

Well well well, if things haven't come full circle a bit. The Cuties are now trying to flag a ship to come pick them up. Oh yeah, and the time space continuum is in a mysteriously askew place. Nothing a few weird plans can't fix!

Now that the Castaway Cuties have their hands on the demon lord Pa(n)zuzu, all they have to do is kill it and/or smash the phylactery around his neck, and the world will be a safer place. One thing, though- reality has been completely warped and nobody on the continent may remember who they are. Probably nbd, right?

Welp, we went back in time to get the phylactery from the demon lord, and look at this fine mess we got ourselves into. Anyone got a smoke?

Some serious portal shenanigans are afoot. Will the Castaway Cuties manage to not screw up the multiverse? We think you know the answer.

In this very sexy episode, the Castaway Cuties head towards the mayor of Flaysacola's keep to see if he's there, a clone, a demon, or you know, whatever the crew has to fight now. Maybe a necromancer that turns into a giant baby?

Nathan and fellow rabbitfolk Cospia finally reunite with the rest of the Castaway Cuties and begin to plot how to use their new levels, as well as how to deal with what appears to be a huge archdemon about to appear in Davenglaven. No big deal.

We know you've missed Chris Tallman as much, so we thought we'd catch Nathan up with a solo adventure, as well as give Chris room to take as long as he wanted with a gaming session while he heals up. Full cast next episode!

Partially seeking revenge for the death of their butler Octavio, partly killing an NPC full of information just because he looked at them weird, the Castaway Cuties are embroiled in a brutal battle with a vampire lord and his wooden mech bodyguard. If only they had rested once in the last 15ish episodes before initiating combat!

Time to punch... Woody? A weird golem thing is protecting the vampire. Some fans might think these two sure sound familiar!

After successfully scouting the secret lair of the cabal, the Cuties decide to face their antagonist head-on in a crowded luxury inn's lobby. And you know this crew loves to avoid collateral damage! Let's have a listen shall we?

Vampire schemes are headed to Flaysacola and the crew are trying to figure out how to get there ahead of them, or stop them before they can get there. In the meantime they're leaving Kurt of the Adventurer's Guild in charge of the mansion, which is probably not gonna be weird at all!

Those damn vamps! Always messing with a party's party. The cabal is pulling some really lame stuff, and boy oh boy killing them will be nice.

Trigger warning: some real gross stuff continues with Danny's throat parasite. On the bright side, with Blaine's help Brian finds quite a novel and bizarre solution! We hope you enjoy the end of that particularly gross business, and the shocking cliffhanger as well!

There's some kind of crazy conspiracy going on, and we're just the crew to be confused by it! Clues abound as the Castaway Cuties go through the basement of the vampires creepy jungle home... will they manage to piece this nonsense kinda sorta together?

The cornered vampire sure does seem to have a chip on his mysteriously-caped-shoulder. Well the Castaway Cuties are infamous interrogators, so this will probably go without any punches thrown! 

The Castaway Cuties finally crash, and things get creepy real fast. I mean it's a manor that was once a hag's meeting place for her cabal of evil, just south of a being named Kronk the Walking Economy, you'd think they could just cuddle under their duvet and have cozy dreams.

The Castaway Cuties are re-exploring their little house and examining their gear, and perhaps the best part is Sam playing the part of loremaster for once. Thanks Sam!

As the Castaway Cuties are stalked through the final stretch to Blingbottom, they hope Princess Cospia lets them chop her arm off before she becomes completely stone. Wait, that's not quite how they put it. But you know... pretty close!

The Castaway Cuties could sure use a break- and they try to take one! Hopefully nothing in this horrific jungle of death and destruction will try to take advantage of this moment.

Things are heating up, thanks to an out of control jungle fire chasing the Castaway Cuties as they travel southwest to Davenglaven. And oh yeah, that whole abyssal curse thing!

The curses worsen as the Castaway Cuties struggle to shakes off the after effects of their fight with the demon. Speaking of which, weird how something smells like smoke!

After handling the demon confrontation, it's time to see if our heroes sent the right person-creature across the river to the south. Hopefully yes, since she was carrying the thing they slayed that whole army for!

What's a little battle between our heroes and an entire fish army armed with a demon and war machines? Seems like this is gonna go great!

We're heavy into an ugly battle with an ugly foe, a water demon sent by an angry Gillaxian army. Hopefully not TOO many of the Castaway Cuties will get boiled alive or skewered by a war spear.

Up against a major waterway, the Castaway Cuties are forced to reckon with an entire army of Gillaxian fish bastards, more heavily armored and evil than any encounter with them yet. And since there's a few hundred of them a mile or so away, hopefully this won't take very long...

Guess what— the Castaway Cuties are now level 6! But will their new level help them escape the Gillaxian army? Maybe? It's a whole army and all, but hey it's fun to plan how to get a giant hammer across a river!

Now that everyone is above water and deciding what to do about the extra-wrinkly Gillaxian tied up in a hole, it's time to decide how to deal with Toody's extremely heavy, extremely hard to touch hammer. But first, some lamentations from the princess!

The Castaway Cuties hope to dispatch the strange sea hag whose lair they stumbled into, and who is now fighting them for the hammer. Hopefully they can walk out of this lake soon, or at least come up with an elaborate balloon hat scheme!

Oh great, some weird glowing eyes next to the god-hammer. Probably cool if the crew ignores it right? NOPE. The monster that stalked them for a few episodes survived the flood, and now it wants to play Tool Time with Toody.

Our Castaway Cuties have worked out a solution to the puzzle of the underwater dead-end tower, so surely the dungeon master has some very fair physics in mind. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Everything's fine. This is fine.

Um... oh. The Castaway Cuties just realized they've hit the top of a tower with no real exits. At the bottom of a megalake. While lugging a 250 pound magic hammer. Luckily they can breathe underwater for a while, so maybe they can walk out... Except for that whole top of a tower thing. Hopefully they're not pausing to think inside the den of a weird swamp monster. Wait, what's that? Damn...

Your darling Castaway Cuties have gotten themselves into quite a sticky wicket, dragging a 250 pound hammer across an evil castle at the bottom of an ocean-sized lake. So hey, why not start exploring some completely unknown areas and hope they don't get trapped? Seems safe!

The Castaway Cuties are on their way to retrieving the divine hammer! But oh yeah... it's at the bottom of a massive lake and it's very heavy. And maybe guarded by water monsters. Leave it to the Nerd Poker crew to make some surprising choices on how to turn these problems into problemade.

After a fierce battle with a notable casualty, followed by a uniquely Nerd Poker instruction to an NPC that they should go complete an entire dungeon all by themselves, the Castaway Cuties are left with one big question: what the hell are they supposed to do with this evil fish shaman? And will they kill him, or ACCIDENTALLY kill him as they preserve him?

The Castaway Cuties are going under the lake to get a magic hammer. Seems simple. No issues there. Probably a shallow lake with no monsters. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties bring their scrappy lake-beach battle to a conclusion as they hope to dive beneath the waves and recover an ancient hammer. Will an NPC get squished? Will the crew make a decision that perplexes even themselves only a few minutes later? Why this is Nerd Poker, of course.

Negotiations for the transformation of the fishy princess have reached a nadir and the Castaway Cuties may be about to throw down with some ugly pirahna-faced gillaxians. Hopefully we can go properly off the rails for a moment before the tense combat begins!

It's time to head to Megalake Pangadon, location of the underwater evil fishperson city that the Princess originally hails from, and where a certain Bahamut hammer is kept under lock and key. Hopefully she won't hear that she's travelling with an orc who loves to kill evil fishpeople!

You'd have thought the Castaway Cuties might wanna level up a little more before taking on another Dragon Turtle, but hey in their defense they WERE trying to sneak by. Hopefully their new orc tour guide won't get smushed in the process of them running away! Oh and yes this is one of the sillier openings of an episodes in a while. We start playing Dungeons and Whatever eventually, promise.

The Castaway Cuties approach Megalake Pangadon, which looms on the horizon. Unfortunately a gigantic depressed dragon turtle lies in the way. Should be easy to not irritate one of those, yeah? Yeah. No problem. Easy peasy.

The Castaway Cuties continue their team up with the mysterious sailors known as the "Ice Five" as they sail east and hope to find a lich-smiting hammer for Toody. Hopefully there won't be any sea monsters! Dan would NEVER, right??

This episode we talk to Sam's dog Ramen about how he is such a good boy for the full run time. Well kinda, there's also a lot of D&D. The Castaway Cuties also do some classic shopping Nerd Poker style, a familiar face returns, and Sam is very high.

With their latest nightmare slightly behind them (or at least, in a gross pile nearby) the Castaway Cuties now have a mysterious lava tube and a hellish wailing dimension with no gravity to contend with. Luckily they're more resolute than ever, and there's a weird list they nabbed from an evil tortle. Will all pieces come together? Come listen to us try!

Things are getting rough for the Castaway Cuties during their battle with the Pandemonium demon, as one ally after another falls. One thing is for certain, if anyone is haunted by the ghost of an adorable bunny it will suck. Hopefully he'll be revived in the name of Easter.

Our intrepid Cuties continue their combat with the vicious Pandemonium beast, seeking answers as to why all these monks are getting killed. Hopefully Danny won't feel too bad about what happens to Nathan as Chris Tallman portrays sorrow in the saddest of voices.

The Castaway Cuties are headed to another dimension (another dimension, another dimension) to help out the Davenglaven monk situation, and it looks like things are gonna get real messy. We can only hope that the otherworldly howling won't upset Nathan's delicate bunny ears too much (or make him act demonic again like he did a few episodes back).

With a new possibly wealthy patron in tow (who might just be a demon creature) the Castaway Cuties must decide how to follow up their exploits over at the giant trans-dimensional duck junk thing. Their destiny awaits, and also, probably a big scary battle!

Toody went for a little swim in the dark cavernous waters beneath the Leviathan's Spiral, only to get an innocent little tug on the leg of his armor. Probably something super cheery and not evil or slimy at all! RIGHT?

Sure, the Castaway Cuties just mashed a villain, but do you think they'll be satisfied with his horde of loot? Oh, no, not in the slightest! Every square inch of the den of this reptilian ne'er-do-well is about to get looted by none other than this crew of kind goofs.

The Castaway Cuties continue to clear the cavern, only they are now faced with a vertical shaft that has them thinking back to several seasons of their characters falling down and occasionally being snapped in half. Time to consider their descent very, very, (or just kinda) carefully!

Who doesn't like a nice, thick, shaft? The Castaway Cuties are about to explore more of the Leviathan's Spiral, a gigantic exoskeletal thing chock full of them, so you can only imagine that we're gonna be talkin' about shaft(s).

Surely combating a 30-foot-tall shadow will have zero consequences, and soon the Castaway Cuties will be back home in Blingbottom polishing their suit of armor with a demon inside it. Hopefully the fight will wind down right... about... soon...

The Castaway Cuties try to power through their most difficult fight yet, as fingers of doom start pointing and hit points start dropping. Hopefully those helpful NPCs they saved from the mutant gorillas will come in handy, right guys? Guys?

The crew is doing their best to get inside the twirly-yet-still-somehow-phallic Leviathan's Spiral and sadly one of their NPC guides is in peril. Hopefully they can rescue him and get inside the... shaft of the spiral, where they can then find some kind of respite. A very non-creepy respite that the dungeon master won't make gross at all.

It's time to track down the Filament of Dongle and see why they went missing inside the Leviathan's Spiral. What's that? A map that is almost definitely phallic? You know it.

After making their mark on the rough and tumble town of Blingbottom, our heroes head north, seeking the order of monks that knows how to locate the legendary hammer of Bahamut. Hopefully they won't light their own transportation on fire out of vague suspicion. 

Our heroes (whose group name is currently unofficial but we all know Castaway Cuties is still the frontrunner) explore the cellar of the manor, and hope that they can claim its treasure as their own (or at least sell it at Blingbottom prices). Hopefully it will be a simple trip to an evil cabal's darkened basement and there won't be any funny stuff!

The crew battles the sleepy guest of the manor that they awoke unceremoniously from its slumber, with the hopes of making the quaint trayzure room all their own. Cheers from the whole Nerd Poker crew on making it through 2020 with us, we criterally couldn't have done it without you!

Hey listeners, we wanted to say thank you for a crazy year of support and offer you this two-part bonus adventure with Felicia Day as a special gift to you! Recorded in late 2019 around Christmas time at Brian's house with plenty of murder and mayhem, we hope it bring some cheer to you. It was originally recorded and released in 2 parts, but Engineer Sam fused them together with audio magic. Stay safe, and happy holidays!

You didn't expect our heroes to not thoroughly check THAT ONE CONTAINER in the TRAYZURE ROOM, did you? Well here they go, giving the awkward trayzure situation the proper Nerd Poker collection treatment! Also apologies for the audio being slightly garbled in parts, we had a computer die and get an emergency replacement mere moments before our session and didn't realize a setting was off until later.

The Kind Crew (or whatever they name might be) really put their powers of earnestness to the test as they tidy up the final corners of the hag's mansion. And what better moment for the creepiest of dungeon masters to unveil the creepiest of rooms?

Our intrepid crew is getting a little sick of dealing with this huge invisible archfey who doesn't know anything. And you know what that means: they will probably blow him up so they can go about plundering the rest of this haunted mansion!

Our kind crew has a relatively creepy manor they'd like to shake the loot out of, but will their creepy dungeon master put an unfairly massive monster in their path before they can roll all their investigation checks? 

Our crew must confront the dog-related mystery they've gotten themselves into, as well as the wealthy old lady sobbing on Danny's monk-robed shoulder. No way things will get violent, knowing how nice everyone is. Right?

Our super-friendly band of heroes continue their quest to make a good impression on the gritty, coastal town of Blingbottom by cruising for side missions, and they may just make a name for themselves.

The crew feels out the local culture of Blingbottom (which turns out to be a lot of misfortune and unsavory card games) as well as a name for themselves. And if you were hoping someone in the party would try to have a Batman-esque side adventure, you're in luck!

Our heroes deal with the final obstacle between them and the beach of Davenglaven, and the unseemly field of bones at the cave's exit. Will the party have another charm-off competition? It's virtually guaranteed!

Our heroes have nearly reached the beaches of Davenglaven, but first there's treasure to unpack, and a mysterious impasse to uncork. Hopefully that total-party-kill you almost thought was going to happen in the first episode of the season isn't going to happen NOW.

The new crew is making their way to the end of this narrow, winding bottleneck, but there's a very interesting side passage beckoning them to explore. Surely there's no harm in testing some new spells out on some blind corners, right?

Our new Season 4 heroes have stumbled upon two firenewts engaged in some sort of lunchtime ritual, cooking a hapless creature over a small lava barbecue. They could sneak on by, but it wouldn't be Nerd Poker if everyone didn't dogpile into a small room and start swinging weapons. 

Our new crew has a bottleneck ahead of them, and it's infested with deadly firenewts. Hopefully their morally suspect guide will lead them down the best path without too many surprises, and maybe they'll get a cool finishing move or two on these creepy, glowing jerks.

Our band of companions begins to consider their path to the mainland of Davenglaven, and it looks like they'll have to consider the trustworthiness of a snake-headed creep named Verge. Will they float or will they spelunk? Those are the questions any sea monster survivor must ponder.

After a confrontation with a rude guard leads our new crew to an unfortunate boat situation with some rather unsavory roars happening just off deck. Will this be the fastest Total Party Kill in Nerd Poker history?

Welcome to a brand new season and brand new story! It's time for our cast to set the stage with a brand new Level 3 crew, one that's getting the hell out of Cloddenheim fast.

New heroes will soon have to cope with the world events of Season 3, but first, let's see what happened to the Ice Five after Episode 85...

The time has come for the Ice Five to make their play. Will they trust the elves that showed up at the doorstep of the altar? Will one of the Ice Five themselves attempt to ascend to the mantle of the Tenebrous One? Will everything get set on fire? Better listen soon before you read about what happens on the internet somewhere!

The Ice Five are have alerted Halcyne's father that they are at an incredibly powerful intersection of mortality and immortality, and the way out just went "pop." Hopefully what about to arrive is friendly! If not, they can probably just set them on fire.

The Ice Five have finally made it to the Altar of the Tenebrous One, hoping that a plan would somehow come to mind once they checked everything out real good. Perhaps the squawking little kobold will provide a clue? Perhaps Terry will wander in and become the Tenebrous One? Only time will tell.

There's a very small space between a swarming cloud and the sheer mountain-face, but the Ice Five are determined to not let that get in the way of their plan to get to the altar of the Tenebrous One. Even if their plan kind of stops at getting there. All they have to do is climb really high and hope nothing Amarth Amon happens...

A new day is dawning, and the Ice Five have the final ascent up Pandemonium's Fang before them. They've stared at it all campaign on the map, but they imaginations may not have prepared them for what a jerk their Dungeon Master might be when it comes to scaling mountains. Hopefully the party and their respective prides will all survive.

The Ice Five are fresh off of slaying a mega-spider feybeast and are heading up the foothills of Pandemonium's Fang, but first they have to contend with one of Dan's trademark super creepy NPCs. Will they kill it, or just hate it? 

The Ice Five have escaped to The Feywild, but oh yeah, they've never been here before and everything is a giant creepy glowing monster. Surely this will work out as some kind of harmless shortcut though, right???

The Ice Five have always been fans of entering mysterious caves, and as cautious as they were, they're still a little stuck. Luckily one amongst them was built with some extra options back at the factory. 

With the dragon fight ramping up, it remains to be Halcyne (cyne what we did there?) whether her gambit with the necklace will pay off. Meanwhile the Ice Five have another task ahead of them- how do they eventually escape this Barrowsteppes Dragon chokepoint/checkpoint in the middle of the road leading to the mountains, and Pandemonium's Fang?

The effects of Halcyne's unfortunate dexterity situation are beginning to sink in, and the Ice Five must contend with another vicious (and mutated) dragon from their past.

The Ice Five head into the steppes surrounding Pandemonium's Fang in the hopes of destroying the altar of the Tenebrous One. But it wouldn't be Cloddenheim if there was a clear path between them and the big event, would it? As long as they are careful, and they always are, how could things go wrong?

The Ice Five must decide whether to trust the Violet Fang, trap her outright, set her on fire, or just kinda awkwardly part ways. See if you can guess which they choose!

The Ice Five exit their awkward Violet Fang conversation only to encounter so many passive aggressive NPC's that they long for a monster to kill. Hopefully they'll find some hot loot along the way, as well as a hot lead on the altar of the Tenebrous One.

The Ice Five continue their mini-boss killing spree that has them in a showdown with Dratlanna the drow-beholder, and you better believe they've got some fun new moves to try out. Will they survive? Where will they head next? Is Gus toast? Time will hopefully tell!

The Ice Five continues their tour of mini-boss bulldozing and sets their eyes on Dargthur's mother. Which of course means lots of roleplaying excellence from Brian, his favorite thing to do ever.

Time to find out what the Ice Five really stands for by pitting them against the squishy, veiny, eyeball thing they made on accident a few dozen episodes ago. Hope you're ready for a throwdown with lots of psychic damage and some wincing as the surface texture of the monster is described!

The Ice Five walk towards the Mother Brain, slowly realizing that "The Ice Five" has now expanded into a conglomerate of shady inter-planar horrors and they are about to meet with its leader, whom they accidentally installed. Also, it feels like there's something we should acknowledge… numerically speaking.

The Ice Five finally approach the head of the boat, and what they find is sight only a Dargthur could love... and he's pretty sour so he probably won't. 

The Ice Five continue to slip around in the slime and complete their showdown with the phantasmal narwhal creatures, with Halcyne's life still in the balance. Strange whispers from the monstrosities confuse them, and they contemplate what it would mean to go deeper below deck. Also, more eyeballs.

The undead tuskfolk continue to try to skewer the Ice Five and suck their very life forces from them. Hopefully those eyeballs growing out of the floor will somehow turn out to be good guys and lend a helping eyestalk. Right?

The early first three trials of the stable complete, it's time to descend into a purple portal and go hunting for trayzure! Paul F. Tompkins returns as Mister Evelyn, and we can only hope that he will finally get a chance to use his special animal summoning hat.

In this two-part Danger Room bonus adventure, all our regular cast is here to explore an old stable rumored to contain a treasure, guarded by dark magics. And who should be there to help but the charming Mister Evelyn, portrayed by Paul F. Tompkins! Paul is playing a bard, so you better believe we are going to try and tempt him to sing within the first few minutes of the show.

Below the deck of a ship Dargthur knew long ago, the Ice Five attempt to clear any lingering nastiness and find more than they bargained for. All of it is familiar somehow, yet more ominous. But don't worry, they're going to keep setting things on fire. Who did you think we were talking about anyway?

Time for some of the Ice Five to sit on the deck of a boat and read a tom full of lore, while the rest of the Ice Five set things on fire. We bet you can guess which characters do which. Plus, oh right, they might have just dissipated the avatar of a fallen evil god... Probably no consequences to that, right?

The Ice Five must take out the Juggernaut that has come to dispatch them, but even if he is defeated there's the matter of scaling the massive drow pirate vessel before them. Oh, are we're continuing to master our remote situation, thanks for bearing with us, nerds.

After hours of attempting to not-so-simply-commandeer a not-so-simple boat at an old familiar dock, the Ice Five find themselves in an inevitable confrontation! Oh, and this episode is our first ever remote recording session! Pardon our dust- next time we'll be employing some new audio techniques, so it's only greener grass from here on out!

The Ice Five have arrived on the seaside. Their goal is to reconvene with the Mother Brain and pick up a new boat, as Dargthur is keen to get back into Admiral mode. Hopefully they'll find a safe ride and get on board quickly and efficiently!

The Ice Five has their eye on Silverhenny Woods, but will the Violet Fang actually join the party? And wait a minute, Silverhenny Woods, isn't that where Dr. Uid keeps all of his... STUFF? Time to head to the western half of the continent, and see what adventures lie in the snow-kissed forests they almost visited some 55 episodes ago.

Still debating their next move, the Ice Five decide to explore the full resources of Clompity, which may or may not include the leader of Haushinka's assassin network. The players have some theories about who the Violet Fang is, but sadly their characters don't have the same knowledge they do. Hopefully an evil archlich won't start attacking them while they have conversations. It's probably fine. Everything's fine.

The promise of the capital city of Donkeyland, Clompity, looms before the Ice Five as they must make some hard choices. Do they forge ahead, or explore a second, perhaps more confrontational path? Also, oh boy, there might be about to be so many donkeys. 

Down the dark stair the Ice Five tread, towards the teleportation circle that will transport them to Donkeyland. But what are dark stairs without a whole bunch of traps? Luckily the Ice Five have a cuckoo bird and a lil' boss to help with such things, but will Queep and Gus' wings be able to take the party past every horror ahead?

There's one more stretch of giant-infested land for the Ice Five to cross before they can cross the abyss into Donkeyland, and wouldn't you know it, not every roll goes perfectly. Given Nerd Poker's history with giants and diplomacy, it couldn't be that Dan is out for revenge with these monsters, could it? Nah, PROBABLY not.

The behir battle heats up, as our heroes get repeatedly swallowed and vomited up, their hit points going dangerously low. Will the Ice Five become the Digested Five, or will they survive until Donkeyland? And wow, hopefully those halflings aren't just a splattered pile.

The Ice Five are now just trying to not get devoured by behir, the giant dragon-dog-centipede things the mutated giants keep as pets, and that vomit lightning. Oh right, and some halfling heroes got splattered across the ground. Hopefully they're fine.

It seems more real than ever- the Ice Five are on what could be the true approach to Donkeyland. With a whole lot of allies in tow, it will be a matter of who stays with the Time Boat and who adventures through the jagged rocks and cliffs. One thing is for sure... everyone is getting really excited to see a donkey.

The Ice Five head south on the river, away from Dame Island and towards a difficult fork in the path. And of course, one option in that fork is the fabled country we've hinted at for 51 episodes now. Yes. We speak of course of Donkeyland.

With the Baron popped out of his pen, the Ice Five have a lot more questions, namely what is that super important identity of the Tenebrous One that was removed from the end of his letter? And our heroes also have a very important question ahead of them: Is it time to head to Donkeyland?

After a glorious but brief celebration, our heroes have gone from aboleth champions to hanging in the balance in a deep underwater cave, Dr. Uid floating unconscious as a tentacled titan races towards half of the party. Surely the Ice Five isn't about to become the Ice Two, plus Bacon?

The Ice Five take their final swings at the aboleth beneath Dame Island, hoping to win the favor of gods and humans alike. More than once it has nearly ended in one of our beloved characters being wiped out by the fell creature, will they all escape intact? Thank you for a delightful 2019, the campaign will continue next week!

The brutal battle between the Ice Five and the aboleth rages, with the party repeatedly stretched to the absolute limit of the powers. Hopefully they will be able to take out these cosmic murder fish before things get too dicey.

At the slimy underground lake the Ice Five continue to lay into the Path of the Vaunted Tusk, but something far more dangerous lurks deep in the subterranean waters. Will they survive their encounter with yet another narwhal juggernaut, this one with backup? Only time will tell.

The Ice Five begin a descent into the den of the aboleth worshipped by the Path of the Vaunted Tusk, with a mentally liberated Gus the pseudodragon and a friendly Dame Island guard. Hopefully there won't be TOO MANY narwhal cultists down there... 

After narrowly thwarting Dame Island's downfall, the Ice Five now have some options before them. And assessing the situation might mean picking which of their allies go where, a conversation that is more complicated for some allies than others. No Blaine again this episode (he went to a concert) but we promise he'll return in Episode 46!

Halcyne's life is in the balance, and so is the stability of Dame Island's relatively newborn democracy as the we rejoin our adventurers in the wake of the juggernaut's violent power move. If you thought Dargthur hated the Path of the Vaunted tusk before, now it's EXTRA extra personal.

It's time to settle into Dame Island, where the Ice Five are already apparently regarded as heroes. But what's this? There's some kind of envoy being sent because the Path of the Vaunted Tusk is still whiney about that whole Time Boat kerfuffle? Surely that will only take a moment to address, and it's back to enjoying the spoils of pirate clandom!

After a resounding victory against The Path of the Vaunted Tusk, the Ice Five is debating a sojourn into Dame Island to restock Time Boat and perhaps locate their former crew. But they may be getting in deep with inter-faction conflict in Cloddenheim, and those fishy folk are now humbled by the rage of Dargthur Sturry, to a point they will remember.

Brian Posehn hates this part of the story. Who are these fish idiots who won't get off Time Boat, and more importantly that was a rhetorical question and we don't even really want to know just get them off the boat. Hopefully the people of Dame Island won't react to this show of aggression from the Ice Five with a quest involving licenses and registrations.

With a core shift imminent, the Ice Five make double time to Dame Island in the hopes of rescuing their beloved Time Boat. But unfortunately a natural disaster or two might stand between them and their next maritime expedition. Hopefully no new factions will decide to suddenly make enemies with our increasingly famous five!

After the carnage of their last fight, it's time for our heroes to do a whole lot of stealthin' around, as there's an increasing number of gangs hunting around hoping to kill them. Also, there's that whole thing where they promised they'd visit the evil Archmage and they kinda ghosted him. Everything probably fine though.

We left the Ice Five in a critical face-off with their nemesis Havoccula, Dargthur having just tried a risky deception wherein he disguised himself as the Archmage of Vanzervale. Will it work, or will the Ice Five finally fight a big-ass dragon (a mutated one at that)? Well good news, you'r about to find out a few seconds into this episode.

After cleaning the assassins' clocks last episode, it's time for the Ice Five to address the Gus situation, as his life hangs in the balance. And oh yeah a clan of dragons is hunting them, and they owe the archmage an artifact. You know, just some basic errands. But on top of all that a whole bunch of lore may be about to get thrown their way.

Their giant trap was an unequivocal success, but now the Ice Five must assess which of their allies are the most valuable in their quest against the Tenebrous One. Some need to find their own way, others need to be reunited with the crew. And oh yeah, where the hell is Time Boat anyway?

The Ice Five are locked in tense combat with a mutated, winged giant 25 stories above a glen where the Queep's people once flew free of tyranny. Perhaps today our heroes will bring justice, and finally sneak away from this weird place and the creepy scab-looking beholder who's their friend now. 

The Ice Five see only one inevitable way to recover the artifact in Queep's homeland, and that's to fight the mutant giant known as Hegg. Luckily they have lots of experience making bold moves against giant creepy weirdos. But will they succeed? And are they recruiting an even bigger creepier weirdo to help them? 

Though the group has arrived at the ancestral home of Queep's people, there seems to be a simple matter of getting to the elder/cloudy mountain without the giant punching them to death like so many aarakocra. The only way seems to be into the mountain and then underground, so it's time to sneak and hunt down some cracks.

The Ice Five appear to have worn out their welcome in Wexhall as the Barrowsteppes Dragons descend on the town, looking for their prey. The alliance with the Archmage may have to wait, as it's time for the Ice Five to do what they do best: run like hell. It's also time to announce our August drawing winner! Congrats!

The showdown with the Archmage of Vanzervale continues, and things get pretty brutal. The Ice Five have a lot they want the Archmage to answer for, but he's not a particularly warm and welcoming sort. They'll have to hurry too, as there's supposedly dragons nearby with a bounty on their heads. 

Many choices have led the Ice Five to this small village wedged between cliffs, fireworks about to go off, a lottery about to begin. But what are they willing to sacrifice to meet with the Archmage of Vanzerzale, and will they meet with him at all? A big hand is about to be played. Listen and find out what kind.

A brief message from your pals at Nerd Poker. To donate to Therapy Dogs International, check out https://www.tdi-dog.org/Donations.aspx. Thanks nerds!

First things first, the Ice Five is facing down some gnomish guards that they kinda sorta accidentally picked a fight with. The hope is that they can continue to travel east and locate the Archmage of Vanzervale and get him to explain what happened to the landscape. Probably nothing to it as long as everyone's super persuasive to new friends, right? Oh, right, they're accidentally in a fight with two gnome guards.

Quite a fun little pickle the Ice Five have gotten themselves into. Dratlanna's war ship is about to attack the Thixxits, and here's the Time Boat just sitting on the dock. Hey, what's the worst that could happen? 

The Ice Five have fought hard for the mysterious artifact they found in the caves. Thing is, they're now expected to hand it over to some mind-flayers, and they're not so sure that this was such a great call in the first place. As they trudge through the snowy hills along the coast it becomes increasingly clear that they made a series of real weird choices. And now you, dear listener, may enjoy the culmination of these choices!

Beneath the mountains along the coastline on a quest to recover an artifact for their friendly mind flayer acquaintances, the Ice Five have vanquished a bulette but still have a terrifying otherworldly hag to deal with. The battle has now raged long enough for them to consider, oh yeah, SHOULD we be helping MIND FLAYERS? Sarah is back and certainly has some thoughts on the last few major choices the Ice Five have made. But they're in deep now, so hopefully everyone will get to keep their brains.

The battle only gets more intense, and the Ice Five realize how even some dangerous mind flayers could to meet their doom down in this cavern. TikTok (aka Boss) does his best to protect Gus (aka Boss) from the bus-sized beast pinballing around the cavern, but there is more than one horror in the deep. Once again Halcyne is driven by the DM, but Sarah will be back soon.

Our heroes have hit a crossroads: do the Ice Five continue their journey south towards Dame Island and the mysterious Archmage of Vanzervale, or do they stop for a moment and talk to some seemingly not-that-evil mind flayers? In previous campaigns our cast was likely to murder anyone that looks at them funny, so could they possibly want to stop and commiserate with these incredibly creepy brain devourers? Answer: maybe! Sarah could not make it this episode or next, we beg your forgiveness.

It's been a real tense negotiation with Havoccula, and now the Ice Five hopes to ditch him and come out to the coast to have a few laughs, specifically the coast from the North Sea heading on the outer ridge of the giant comet whirlpool. Their travels could take them past where our first episode found them, only now far down on sea level.

The Ice Five have been negotiating with the corrupted dragon known as Havoccula, and so far they seem to go together like peanut butter and bleach. Of course they'd love to just stab him in his gross face, but he has the habit of flying out of stab range and generally appearing far more powerful than our heroes. Will Halcyne's fiery eyes scare him into submission???

Hey listeners! We wanted to share the audio of Twitch broadcast at the official Dungeons and Dragons event "The Descent," which was of course hell-themed, and our little story takes place between Season 3's Episodes 14 and 15ish. Plus we've got Engineer Sam Keiffer playing along the whole time as Terry! We played a game on live streaming video! This is of course only the audio, so forgive the sight gags the audio quality that comes with video streaming and the ambient sound of convention attendees.

It's been a mad dash back to the Time Boat, and now with the entire Ice Five is converging upon the boat in various states of battle damage. Once they're on board, there's a very special visitor who wants to have a word with our heroes.

Sarah is back, and just in time to steer Halcyne out of the airship wreckage with Dr. Uid and TikTok as all three must decide if it's worth waiting for their pal Queep to set down Dargthur and take turngs flying them down to the Time Boat. More drastic measures may be in order. Something seems to be approaching through the storm clouds, something much bigger than an aarakocra carrying his half-drow friend.

It's time to leave the wreck of the observatory airship, only it's been a little while since the Ice Five visited their pals on the boat, so things might not be exactly the way they were left. No Sarah this episode as she had to call it an early night, but fear not, she'll be back next time in Episode 20!

It's time to explore the main deck of the scientific observatory that turned into an airship, so you better believe our heroes are hungry for loot and answers. As they approach the very spot they stood at Episode 1 of this Cloddenheim adventure, the odds also increase that they'll stumble upon a frustrating gnomish riddle or two.

The battle concludes, with a half-digested Halcyne in the balance, a frozen sea and an TikTok origin story laying ahead of the party to north. Hey, make sure to listen all the way to the end of the episode for more about our upcoming live Twitch event on May 19th! Also "date paste" is a spicy Skittles ingredient.

Chris Tallman returns, and before the great sea monster battle continues, Dan forces the crew to retroactively name their heroic group for the citizens of Boazor so that they may be remembered. But when the action shifts back, things get dire fast. At least there's gigantic boat weapons to play with!

Our heroes having just interrogated the living heck out of Haushinka's the drow, they now sit upon a throne of clues. Is that a thing we just made up, a throne of clues? We'll have to use that in-game at some point. Anyhow, at long last, nautical backstories draw our heroes towards the sea. And sadly yes, Chris Tallman is missing one more time, but worry not! He is back next episode, we've recorded it and everything, his intense sexual energy will flow through our microphones again before you know it.

We open on our heroes interrogating Haushinka the drow, and leaving few stones unturned. And not to be undone, Sister Briarlock may have one more surprise to reveal about Dr. Uid, and we're not just talking about that "wild magic" stuff normally reserved for sorcerers. Secrets, secrets, secrets! Sadly we are without Chris Tallman and his intense energy both this episode and next (everyone went on Spring Break vacations this April and his was hardest to work around) but we promise more of him ASAP!

After having instigated a series of mercenary bribes gone sour, our heroes have a few loose ends to tie up (stab) before they can move on. And if they can, there is a certain temple to visit, and a certain drow friend their who may have regained her faculties by now.

A despot deposed, our heroes struggle with their newfound responsibility, including whether they should share their newfound glory with the local dregs under Thoggis' employ. TikTok soul-searches himself, and others.

The most epic battle yet unfolds, and our heroes discover that they have stumbled into the lair of something far more sinister (and gross) than they had originally anticipated. Only luck will allow them to escape with their lives. Sadly Blaine missed out on this episode, but don't worry, he's fine and will be back next episode!

A plan is hatched to free the city of Boazor, but funny thing about plans. There is sneaking in the night. Blood is spilled. And, at the end of the episode, Boazor's biggest secret may be revealed.

Having sent Thoggis a message and declared their opposition to his rule over Boazor, the heroes hide in the alleys contemplating their next move. Everyone could use a rest, but can they find a safe haven after curfew? The quest for a Free Boazor continues.

Dargthur's drinking celebration rained upon, our heroes continue to unleash on Dugthuk the tithe-collecting troll. Queep tests his durability. Halcyne achieves a moral victory. Dr. Uid whips it. TikTok scolds.

As the crew prepares to breathe the seaside air, they struggle with another one of Dan's damned puzzles. On the other side of a stone door lies Boazar, the home of Dargthur Sturry and his seaside pals, and perhaps oddest of all CIVILIZATION, something that Nerd Poker has had sparse amounts of in the past. Will the citizens all be named after extras in Aquaman? MAYBE.

Despite not knowing how to speak the language on all the subterranean signs, the party must make some important travel choices as they continue to head west. Luckily they do have many tools at their disposal, like premonitions from a storm god. Also, and this is just a rumor, but it seems that Ken might be a bird.

The party continues their bloody battle with the creatures at the icy bend in the path. They seem to be reaching the end of the dwarven city, but even then it is a long road ahead. And sooner or later they're bound to meet another underground traveler... right?

Deep in the abandoned dwarven city of Brufvt, our heroes are forced into an icy confrontation. The party gets to know each other better through sourness, battlecries, and madness-inducing flame blades. And don't worry, we haven't forgotten to make Engineer Sam do his recap.

Dargthur, the latest goth character creation by Brian Posehn, has helped the party discover a tunnel that they hope will take them to the civilization of the western port city of Boazor. But entering the tunnel isn't as easy as cracking open a dungeoneering kit. There are prices to pay and NPCs to be insulted by.

After having their lives thrown into stark relief by a terrible event, our adventurers learn to trust each other as they attempt to free themselves from their temporary prison. The more they escape, the more they learn about the world around them, which means... you guessed it... map time. The Cloddenheim continent's map is chock full of a thousand secrets. Thank you to Shaun Bryant, who went above and beyond illustrating a post-comet world ripe for many, many player notes.

A group of heroes on the continent of Cloddenheim have been invited to a gathering by an eccentric scientist. A carriage awaits.

Time to murder a cosmic horror, as the campaign draws to a close. And stay tuned because there will be no downtime until the next one, we'll see you next week! We will indeed to a live video Q&A, keep your eyes on our Patreon page for details. Thank you to all the artists, voice cameos, and all of you for listening. It's a delight to play D&D and have you as our audience.

After taking the holidays to recuperate, we are back with a full cast! Now if only they could all hold onto to their hit points in this epic boss fight. Our heroes continue to hack away at the giant mass of worms that was once the friendly NPC known as Luovyn. Will they put an end to this cosmic interloper before Typha can complete her transformation? That sure seems like it would be ideal!

In the rainy streets of Tenchyll, our heroes decide what to do with the cosmic being they've brought back to Earth. Sadly no Chris Tallman, plus Sarah is ill and Brian perhaps even more ill. We start with a Hex Chest giveaway! And we end with Brian going to bed. Happy holidays, everyone!

It's been a long and difficult path through the prison with lots of death in their wake, but our heroes seem to have stumbled across a lonely prison employee who has unique insight into the situation. The true question: will Bodhi become so enraged that he kills all the NPCs.

It's been a long and desperate hike through the prison graveyard, and the army of ghosts is still barrelling down on our heroes. It's going to take desperate measures to change the tide of battle in their favor. Dangerous magic? A dead god? Perhaps a little of both.

The trek northeast through the monster prison continues, as our crew tries to keep a low profile in the eerily quiet graveyard of Seluna Prison. They stand at the the precipice of some kind of death theater for Baphomet, which is at the very least a nice location to put on a postcard. If they tarry, perhaps a show will get put on in that theater! You're about to find out! Also, with regret we must note that Sarah had to miss this and the next episode due to illness, but she's back swinging in the present, and will appear on our November bonus episodes!

The heroes continue their confrontation with Lord Chasma who, let's face it, might be kind of invincible. Luckily the evil Kenku Gilfry might have decided to help the crew out, and they might be one step closer to the building holding Jnrei D'Nah. Hopefully everyone won't get smeared across a steel dome first.

Our heroes have gotten themselves in a bit of a moon-pickle. Pinned against a steel dome, our heroes have no idea how to proceed. But barreling down on them is a floating face that appears to be some kind of fallen god. There's a little crow-man named Torturemaster Gilfry running around screaming, but otherwise things are looking awfully bleak. Perhaps salvation lies somewhere nearby, perhaps far away.

The crew is continuing to hack their way North-East (or whatever up and to the right is on the moon) to break out the cosmic being known as Jnrei D'Nah and stop the moon from crashing into the planet below. But they're starting to realize just how bad an operation this whole moon prison idea was, and how a moon prison riot means there are cosmic beings everywhere. Good luck sleeping after listening to all of this one!

Our heroes take a quick breather in the lobby of the "God Slayer" building of the old moon prison. And why not take a breather, they've earned it! Unfortunately, their attempts to exit the building may be slowed by the former tenants of the basement, who aren't huge fans of their confinement.

Security was tenuous in the prison of horrors, but after their little nap in the archmage's spare room things have taken a turn for the worst. The goal is now to just get to another building before the group is overwhelmed and the timer on total annihilation ticks all the way down. Also, some real-world sips of moonshine are taken in honor of the moon mayhem.

Finally, someone at this crazy moon prison is willing to dish some moon prison gossip! All our heroes had to do was get real cozy with a mysterious cosmic being! There's monsters everywhere biting guards in half! Everything is going great!

Our adventure has taken us through another dimension (another dimension, another dimension) and through a gross fungal thread leading into the sky. So far things on the other end of that thread have been eerily similar to a regular old dungeon. But it's about time Bodhi, Twee, Tom Netty, Esmerelda, Typha, and their wee lil' hostage went for a walk outside.

Okay, did everyone take bets on whether this campaign would end up in a monster prison on the moon? Well get your wallets out because somewhere out there we have a winner. Our heroes have managed to overtake a small handful of guards, and now it's time to start planning a prison break for their cosmic pen pal Jnrei D'Nah. Unfortunately there appears to be a monster riot in the monster prison. Whoops.

Our heroes have now seen the power of the Theater of Reflection, Tom Doretto now having completely transformed forever into Netty. The big question is: will anyone else dare try? Regardless, they are about to get flipped on their heads if they succeed in riding this magical tendril up to the moon. What arcane horrors will they find THERE?!?

The time has come for Esmerelda to get in touch with that worm she swallowed way back in Episode 19, and another one of our heroes will resolve a promise they've been hanging onto for over 70 episodes.

It's time to head to the moon, but first the wizard Gendy has to take a crash course in trust and learn about all the messed up stuff that the party has done to get this far. Turns out there's an elephant in the room- an evil god's cloak in Tom's backpack. Hopefully taking that cloak right to the evil god isn't a big deal!

First things first, this episode we welcome Chris Tallman as a regular guest and set aside the guest formalities. Then we immediately try to kill his character as she flees thousands of kobolds and increasingly complex tiers of elite dragon forces. Her only hope, a small hut on the other side of a small portal. Also a very special thanks to someone who provided a pre-recorded tiny cameo this week, the details of which are a surprise we do not want to spoil in the description. Listen and learn what we're talking about!

The battlefield is only getting uglier as medium-sized serpent-dragons of the black chromatic variety start tunneling under the battlefield Tremors-style and swallowing horses. Orcs and kobolds pile onto our heroes in layer after layer. The gigantic dragon Storndor lands, and whoops, his armor class is higher than 20. Twee's quest to open a portal is being carefully timed, but will it even out as the battle gets bloodier? Will the crew resort to desperate measures? We welcome back Chris Tallman as Typha, and a special thanks to engineer Sam for turning the volume way down on the dragon roars.

Hello dear listeners! We are sad to be without Blaine this week and next, but excited to welcome back Chris Tallman who will be taking on the role of Typha. And it's a real tough spot the crew is in. Up against a cliffside and hurrying from one town to another, a devastating force of thousands of kobolds, orcs, and wyrms wants to have a word with them. Special thanks to Hal Lublin for the voice of the orc general, and additional apologies from Dan for the bad Blaine commercials.

If you enjoyed Twee's drug trip to outer space last episode, the whole crew is now focused on getting to this strange being in the sky and figuring out how to stop the moon she's on from crashing. But no quest has ever challenged our party quite the way that "retrieving horses they already own" does. Special thanks to artist Dani Hartel for her drawing of Jnrei D'Nah, which thoroughly spooks the party this episode!

Time to do some drugs and meet a cosmic trickster. It's Episode 25, you guys!

Behold! Our heroes have arrived in Tenchyll, the only mage college that appears to still be standing. And after spending a valuable ingot on their horses, the crew isn't done running their little clinic on how to bribe people into doing what you want by offering them all the wealth you have. Hopefully their pockets are deep enough to get them to Tenchyll's mage quarter, where they suspect Dessa the angsty teen half-drow is up to no good.

It's about that time! Time for our heroes to bring their spoils back from the feywild, but should their bring Netty too? And why was she being a jerk? Oh, and how many days are we from the apocalypse? Dan makes none of these questions easy.

Don't worry, lovers of elves and commercials, Blaine is back! And these intrepid adventurers needs his help to get out of this creepy pit deep in the feywild. Here's to hoping that they don't encounter anything from those Guardian doors or you know, a Drow assassin clinging the walls waiting to stab them or anything.

Though Blaine is MIA for one more episode, Chris Tallman returns to steer the usually more passive character Typha! And the crew needs the extra help, as they are now trying to escape the deep underground feywild lake with a gigantic beast chasing them. Hopefully they won't get Twee killed in the process.

Though we are sadly without our dearest Blaine to steer Twee, Chris Tallman (a regular in our bonus episodes) makes the leap to the main campaign to play Typha, former NPC and Battle Cook. And just in time too, as the party will require Typha's legendary perception skills to retrieve Zinzerena's cloak from a mammoth monster in the underground lake. Special shout out to John Smith III aka Vox the Devil for his Tullchor monster art, and Colm O'Reilly for his fabulous ambient cave lake sounds.

As the underground trials continue and a Twee of increasingly ambiguous morals lights a cigarette, our crew meets the three trials of the cloak head on. Clearly this artifact was never meant to me uncovered by the foolhardy, or people who hate riddles. Hopefully everyone will make a patience saving throw against that goddamned riddle from last episode!

After some experimentation from our heroes, the room is filling up with nasty faerie spiders, and it may be time to figure out what the real function of the Chamber of Forgiveness is. Lucky for them, someone in the party did something impulsive and morally questionable in the campaign, and Dan is ready to leverage it.

Determined to recover and destroy the cloak of a long-dead evil, the crew plunges into the depths of The Pit of the Second Sky. They have no idea what they'll find by following the mysterious feywild map, but they know there's probably not cuddly creatures ahead.

In a stroke of bravery or insanity, our party has decided to divert from the pattern of visiting mage colleges and head to a mysterious cave on the outskirts of Gostel. Far below, in another dimension (another dimension) lies an ancient artifact of evil that against all odds the party is attempting to retrieve. And who knows, maybe they kinda almost will.

The stakes are high! With Dessa interrogated, it's clear that the Zinzerena death cult has some nefarious plans to not just do something to the moon, but to locate ancient drow artifacts. And what does our party do when the stakes are high? They recklessly cast spells and blow some stuff up.

Our intrepid protagonists have misfit wizard student Dessa cornered at the top of the tower, while some of the party tries to rush the valuable Drow history book "The Bottom of the Demonweb" out the front door. On the bright side they're not known for showing mercy. On the downside, people start screaming pretty quickly. Sorry there's no Blaine this episode or next, we had to schedule last second and he's apparently a popular comedian.

Having dealt with enough nonsense at the Mage College of Gostel, our heroes ascend the mage tower with an elder wizard and one of Gostel's most pretentious students in the hopes of uncovering whatever plot brought evil to this once super chill and pipeweed-friendly campus. Yet things may only get more screwy as they ascend.

The College of Gostel nearly fell, but our heroes have managed to keep it in the balance! The plot of the strange Drow séances has begun to unravel just enough that, at the very least, this mage college's troubles seem to be traceable to one student. Now they must try to find a quiet corner of the rattled campus rest in, and before the night is through they may have to deal with some new unsavory characters of uncouth upbringings. Luckily, no-one is as uncouth as our heroes.

Welcome to an episode of adventure where the combat continues over from when last we met. Things continue to heat up in the Gostel Mage Tower as the invading Drow and Lunar elves attempt to gain the upper hand. But there's one things they haven't taken into account- setting everything on fire does not scare THESE heroes. But Esmeralda encounters one of the death cult lunar elves in person, and things take a turn for the gross.

The jig is up at the mage school of Gostel. The lunar elf body is hitting the floor, Esmeralda is once again steered by a no-nonsense Sarah, and it's time for some lying NPCs to get their asses handed to them. Magic is everywhere and blood shall be shed. But ladies and gentlemen, inquisitive listeners, what in the ever-loving hell is a mosquito coil?

The crew has had enough of whatever nonsense the Gostel Mage College is serving up in their pretentious waiting rooms. While half the crew rallies the students, the other decides to raid the tower floor by floor. Sadly no Sarah this week, but fear not for she shall return!

After a brief tour through Twee's PTSD, our heroes arrive at Gostel, the second mage college that a strange cult is attempting to indoctrinate. Poor Bodhi is subjected to some extremely boring waiting around, and it only increases the chance of some major smashy smash. And a brief apology for the shorter episode- we wanted to record 3 in one night before Dan and Brian had to go on some long trips! We hope you enjoy the silly bonus nonsense at the end of the episode.

Hello there, fine listener. Did you know that approacheth, an old but for reals word, is not recognized by spellcheck? Anyhoo, the opening gambit appears to have been a moderate success, as the creepy terrible inside out things scatter and the spire remains unopened. But oh, there are opportunistic creatures looking to pounce on the weakened Tinnat. And Blaine tells a moon god joke while other people are talking and it is so cheesy that if you listen to every word it will actually kill you.