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10% Happier with Dan Harris

Jennifer Senior On: Grief, Happiness, Friendship Breakups, and Why We Feel Younger Than Our Actual Age

64 min • 12 april 2023

It’s likely uncontroversial to assert that Jennifer Senior is one of our finest living journalists. She’s currently a staff writer at The Atlantic and before that she spent many years at the New York Times and New York magazine. Jennifer’s written on a vast array of topics, but she has a special knack for writing articles about the human condition that go massively, massively, viral. One such hit was a lengthy and extremely moving piece for The Atlantic that won a Pulitzer Prize. It was about a young man who died on 9/11, and the wildly varying ways in which his loved ones experienced grief. That article, called “What Bobby McIlvaine Left Behind,” has now been turned into a book called, On Grief: Love, Loss, Memory.


In this interview, we spend a lot of time talking about this truly fascinating yarn, but we also talk about her other articles: one about an eminent happiness researcher who died by suicide, another about why friendships often break up, and a truly delightful recent piece about the puzzling gap between how old we are and how old we think we are. Jennifer has also written a book about parenting, called All Joy and No Fun which we also reference a few times throughout.


In this episode we talk about:

  • Jennifer’s perspective on the Bobby McIlvaine story 
  • Lesser known theories of grieving from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
  • The work involved in finding meaning in loss
  • Why – from an evolutionary standpoint – we hurt so badly when we lose someone we love
  • Commitment and sacrifice
  • The puzzling gap between how old you are and how old you think you are
  • The power and perils of friendship
  • Why Jennifer has chosen to focus so much of her writing on relationships


Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jennifer-senior-583

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