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The Science of Success

The Science of Success

The #1 Evidence Based Growth Podcast on the Internet. The Science of Success is about the search for evidence based personal growth. It's about exploring ways to improve your decision-making, understand your mind and how psychology rules the world around you, and learn from experts and thought leaders about ways we can become better versions of ourselves.

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Your Modern Lifestyle Is Nice, But It Might Be Killing You with Mark Manson

In this episode we discuss improving your ?mental nutrition.? Decades ago we realized that our society had started eroding our physical health, with desk jobs and fast food, and we became conscious of the need for fitness and nutrition. Now, we stand at the precipice of an even bigger struggle - we are healthier and happier than ever before and yet anxiety, suicide, and depression are on the rise. How do we improve our mental fitness and take action to challenge our irrationality, our impulsiveness, and our bad habits? Do you want to finally move past inaction, procrastination, and laziness? Do you want to feel happier about the world? Listen to this interview with our returning guest Mark Manson.
Mark Manson is the New York Times and international bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and his new already bestselling book Everything Is Fucked. His blog, markmanson.net, attracts more than two million readers per month. He is also the CEO and founder of Infinity Squared Media LLCThe world today is so polarized, mental health issues are on the rise, and yet we are physically safer and healthier than ever before. The better things get, the more anxious humans become about losing them Our world is filled with ?hope narratives? that help us hide from the reality that on a cosmic scale we are truly insignificant How do you deal with life if you achieve all your goals early on?What happens when your hope narrative dies? The only defense against our own cosmic insignificance is creating meaning for ourselves Our values and emotions aren?t tethered to our rational thoughts. The thinking brain vs the feeling brain. All the issues around purpose, discipline, control and importance are EMOTIONAL issues, not intellectual issues. The first step to create value and meaning in your life is to develop an action oriented bias. Humans are largely irrational creatures. Most of our actions are impulsive, selfish, and not well thought through, and our conscious mind spends a huge chunk of it?s time and energy coming up with reasons - rationalizations - to explain and justify what the unconscious mind wants to do. You probably think that all your actions are rational and justified - but have you ever really thought about and looked into the narratives and stories you use to explain away bad habits and behaviors in your life?Emotional intelligence is the core of understanding the dialogue between your conscious thoughts and your emotional reactions to your thoughts You must learn to barter with your feeling brain, keep lowering the stakes until your feeling brain is willing to get on board with what your thinking brain wants to do Why is our society, and why are people, so fragile today, and how can we toughen up?Technology today is designed and geared to take advantage and exploit our psychological flaws -what if we had technology that did the opposite, that corrected our cognitive biases? Information diet & mental nutrition - you must take responsibility for your own mental consumption habits, your own mental habits, you must read things that challenge you, consider that your ideas may be wrongHomework: Unfollow or unfriend at least half of the people you follow or friend, including news and media sources Homework: In terms of personal habits think about your goals in terms of thinking brain vs feeling brain - you must find a way to work with your emotions instead of against them. Strike a bargain with your feeling brain.
2019-06-13
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How High Performance is Created At The Most Successful Sports Franchise In The World with Dana Cavalea

In this episode, we discuss the truth about championship performance. Nobody becomes a champion by accident. We uncover the counter-intuitive reality that being a champion isn?t about doing more, it?s about doing less. We expose the reality that most people spend too much time planning and not enough time acting and share the specific habits and routines that you can use to model your behavior after champions with our guest Dana Cavalea.
Dana Cavalea is a high-level performance coach, speaker, and author. He coaches Pro Athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Business Executives on lifestyle strategies to improve daily performance and outcomes. He is the former Director of Performance for the New York Yankees, whom he led to a World Series Championship in 2009. In his first book, Habits of a Champion, he shares his own secrets to becoming a champion.Nobody becomes a champion by accident.When you study high-level performers and world champions - what habits and abilities make them different from everybody else?Champions are extremely consistent and extremely persistent It takes a lot of work to become a champion - but there are commonalities What makes people champions - a deep focus on the simple fundamentals and the basics. It?s not about quick fixes, it?s not about ?hacks? and short cuts - it's about really executing the basics and the fundamentals. Step one for champions - MASTERY OF MINDSETSelf-awareness is another cornerstone of championship performanceWhat is the mindset of a champion? What are the common mindsets of champions?How do we learn from and emulate and ultimately create a championship mindset for ourselves?What can Derek Jeter teach us about the psychology and mindset of champions?Baseball is a sport that is ?built around failure? and what that can teach us about the psychology of performance?Reframe negative moments into positive momentsIt?s about training your mind to see things in a certain way Focusing on externals - focusing on others and what they are doing won?t get you to where you want to go Championship performance is not about doing more, it?s about doing LESSNo two people should have the same daily routine - we are all at different places in our journey, we have different strengths, different needs, etc How do you go about crafting your own daily routine?Dana recommends starting with your health as the basis of your daily routine The best place to begin changing your mindset is to start with the physical body - activating the body, hydrating the body, taking care of your body What is your vision for yourself? What are you trying to build? What are you trying to create?How important is consistency to world-class performance?You can?t be consistent at everything. You have to keep it simple. Keep it small. Keep it very focused. If you have too many things, you won?t be consistent. Identify what is interrupting your ability to be consistent. Identify things that are draining your energy away. Environments can impact your feeling - it?s important to create environments that enable you to focus on rest and recovery. Create a transition between work and home Homework: Ask yourself if you?re ready to take action and commit to what it is you say you want. Ask yourself - are you willing to do the work?Homework: Start with the basics - hydration and mindset. Built consistency slowly with small habits.
2019-06-06
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You?re Wrong About What Makes You Happy. Here?s The Truth with Dr. Alex Lickerman & Dr. Ash ElDifrawi

In this episode we discuss how you?re wrong about what you think will make you happy. Research shows that the vast majority of people are terrible at predicting what will actually make them happy and even when you think you know what makes you happy, you?re often wrong. We break apart the core delusions that stop you from being happy, and we dig into a scientific analysis of the state of ?enlightenment? to uncover that it?s not just something for Buddhist monks, but a measurable brain state that can achieved by anyone, anywhere with our guests Dr. Ash ElDifrawi and Dr. Alex Lickerman.

Dr. Ash ElDifrawi is a thought leader in clinical, social, and consumer psychology. He's been featured in The Economist, Forbes, Bloomberg, the WSJ and much more.
Dr. Alex Lickerman is the author of The Undefeated Mind and physician. He is the former assistant professor of medicine, director of primary care, and assistant vice president for Student Health and Counseling Services at the University of Chicago. His work has been featured in The New York Times, TIME, USA Today and much more!What you think you need to be happy is wrong Your current beliefs about how to achieve happiness are ?delusions? Most of the things you think will make you happy are ?delusional beliefs"Does happiness come from getting the things you want?What happens when you lose the things that you?ve anchored your happiness to?It?s like a stick of gum - you get a hit, but then the taste and flavor fade over timeThe science shows that this is a neurological phenomenon - we habituate to any attachment we have. We start to take things for granted. It?s delusional to think that getting something you want is going to make you a happier person. Because of our psychology and our neurology - you can get stuck on a hedonic treadmill and you always come back to your baseline level of happiness. The question for happiness began with empirical study of science, psychology and researchBuddhist philosophers have been observing the mind for 2500 years, in many ways they were some of the earliest psychologists There has been an explosion of research on happiness and yet unhappiness is increasing, too much of the current research is too superficial How can the belief that happiness is about the avoidance of pain lead to more pain, suffering and unhappiness?The Nine ?Core Delusions? that prevent you from being happy Any attachment, by definition it?s ability to provide you joy is temporary. All external attachments are eventually lost. All attachments are temporary. Every attachment contains the seed of future suffering. How do you get ENDURING INDESTRUCTIBLE HAPPINESS? Instead of temporary happiness?Could enlightenment be a reproducible life experience? ?The default mode network? - the self referential part of the brain How do you ?pierce the veil of illusion of the self?"Enlightenment, the scientific brain state of transdencent joy, is something that can be achieved by anyone, anywhere. It?s not just for buddhist monks. How can we reach for the state of awe in our every day lives? How can we move towards enlightenment in our everyday lives? Homework: Become mindful to the degree to which these core delusions determine how happy you are. When something makes you unhappy, ask yourself what has happened that has made you unhappy, what core belief has this event stirred up in you that has made you unhappy? 
2019-05-30
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Are You Worried About Your Kids Failing? You Need To Listen To This Talk with Jessica Lahey

In this episode we discuss the important difference between competence and confidence and look at the dangers of focusing too much on building up your self esteem. We explore the ?gift of failure? and why, sometimes, it?s better to let children fail than to try and make them feel better. We learn why frustration is a vital and important piece of the learning process, why we must consider the inevitability of failure, and we uncover ?one of the most powerful teaching tools? you can use to learn, grow, and improve with our guest Jessica Lahey.
Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and author. She is an expert contributor for The Atlantic and the New York Times, and is the author of the New York Times bestseller, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is also a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board.The trajectory of parenting today into ?overparenting? is dangerous and worrisome Propping up kids self confidence and telling them how wonderful they are has done children a serious disservice Kids today are more anxious, less interested in taking risks, less interested in learning, and less interested in being brave. They don?t have any experience trying and screwing things up and learning how to do things better. There has been a big drop-off in interest in learning, motivation for learning, and self awareness - all because of the self esteem movementWhen the vision of them being super talented doesn?t match up with their reality - having struggles and problems, which are inevitable - the disconnect creates serious problems for kids and erodes their trust in their parents. Kids become confused. At an early age - turn it around and ask your kids ?What do YOU think?? Instead of just telling them they are brilliant. Help them build an internal compass for quality. To succeed - kids must be able to take feedback.It never gets easy to withhold praise from your kids and give them real feedback - but it?s vitally important. Emphasize the PROCESS over the END PRODUCT in what you praise 90% of kids feel like we love them more when they bring home high grades. The dangers of ?outcome love? or ?performance love? and why its highly destructive to kids on an emotional levelWhen your kids fail - that?s not the end point, that's the starting point for learning. Are you a parent listening to this who says ?but I really do care about results, I care about grades? not this other BS - what should you do?How can we redesign our schools and learning system to focus on mastery instead of cramming and playing games?Kids feel like they can?t take to their parents when their parents become super fixated on grades. Focus on the long term - how do you want to shape your kids in the future? Not just this one particular grade or issue. Be an ?autonomy supportive parent? and focus on preparing your kids to handle this particular challenge or problem NEXT TIME not just this immediate moment or problemWhy frustration is a vital and important piece of the learning process. Support your kids frustration and let them learn to direct themselves. What is ?desirable difficulty?? And why is it ?one of the most powerful teaching tools? we have?Kids who can?t be frustrated fall apart whenever they face difficulty. The way to overcome learned helplessness is to give your children autonomy and control. The reality is that failure is inevitable - and it's very dangerous to make our kids brittle in the face of a difficult and challenging world.
2019-05-23
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Cracking Complexity: This is how you solve your toughest problems with David Komlos & David Benjamin

In this episode we discuss how you can get smarter in a complex and complicated world. How do you deal with confusing and difficult situations? How do you work through some of your life?s most complex problems? In a world of accelerating change, how do you accelerate the quest for wisdom and creativity? We share simple, powerful, solutions you can use to handle complexity in this interview with our guests David Komlos and David Benjamin.David Komlos and David Benjamin - they are the CEO and CTO respectively of the company Syntegrity. Mr. Komlos is an expert coach for leaders on solving their issues. He advises top leaders and enterprises on how to dramatically accelerate solutions and execution on their defining challenges. Mr. Benjamin leads Syntegrity?s lab and client delivery organization. He has been recognized internationally for his work on global strategic planning with top executives in Fortune 500 companies.What is complexity? Why is it so important to be able to handle complexity in today?s world?How is complex different than complicated? Experts can help solve complicated challenges, but not necessarily complex challenges Complex challenges are multi-dimensional and human.What are some basic mental models for sorting complex challenges vs complicated challenges?Ask yourself:Has this been solved before? And how was it solved? Would this problem have been the same 5 years ago or 5 years from now?Complex challenges don?t have a recipe or a discreet playbook to be solvedPlanning a wedding is complicated, having a happy marriage is complex Building a fence is complicated, being a good neighbor is complex The Law of Requisite Variety / Ashby?s Law "Only variety can destroy variety"You can only solve complex challenges by bringing an equal amount of variety to a challenge When we are facing tough complex challenges - we need a variety of experience and expertise ?A Lion In Your Office"Often a BIG chunk of the challenge is just SEEING the problem in its entirety An ounce of information is worth a pound of data. An ounce of knowledge is worth a pound of information. An ounce of understanding is worth a pound of knowledge. An ounce of wisdom is worth a pound of understanding. Shared understanding is essential - but we often rush to action before we get there We need FAST Wisdom and CREATIVE Judgement to solve our biggest challenges in today?s world - but wisdom takes a lifetime How do you accelerate the quest for wisdom and solve the world?s toughest and most complex challenges?Complexity is the defining challenge we face in todays? worldHow do you engineer Fast Wisdom?The framework you can use to engineer ?fast wisdom? and solve tough, complex challenges N*N-1 Mental Model and how to create ?collaborative collisions? The ideal number of a group of people to work in a group is 5-8 people - you can have very creative and effective collisions How you can create groups to crunch through tough, complex challenges - by using this specific formulaObserversCriticsMembersHow do you ask good questions when looking to solve tough challenges?Homework: Think about a dinner party. What question will guide the conversation in the right way? Who would you invite to create variety? 
2019-05-16
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Here?s Why You?re Stuck? This is How You Fix It with Gary John Bishop

In this episode we discuss how you create your own reality. We explore the idea that your life experiences are not random or arbitrary, but rather a direct result of your subconscious beliefs. When the conscious and the subconscious conflict, the sub-conscious wins and you?ll never get over your past until you realize how you use it to justify yourself. We dig into the powerful revelation that life only ever changes in the paradigm of action. You must do something differently than what you?ve done before in order to change. All of this and much more with our guest Gary John Bishop.
Gary John Bishop is a personal development expert and is the author of the bestselling book Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life and the soon to be released Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back. His approach blends a unique in-your-face approach with high-level training and development practices. Hailing from Glasgow, Scotland Gary?s work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, Vice, Business Insider, and much more!You?re responsible for the creation of your life. You have to accept it, embrace it, be aware of it, and know it. In the living of your life - you will have to live the decisions and conclusions that you?ve made, whether you?re conscious of it or not As a human being, its incumbent upon you to go beyond yourself, expand your awareness, and live life being fully Just because you?re aware of a problematic belief or behavior -doesn?t mean you will stop doing it Why do people attend tons of personal development seminars, read books etc but then never actually change?Your life experiences are not random or arbitrary, they are defined by an invisible set of rules that you believe to be true - but the reality you experience may not be the same reality that other people experience - the same rules that others experience. You currently existing in a ?Default? way of living your life - but there are infinite alternatives to being alive and living your life Freedom for a human being is defined as the actions you take, in relation to your default mode of being You have to actually take action, you have to actually DO something with it. Reading a book is nice, but if you don?t do anything with it, what?s the difference in having read it or not?Life ONLY EVER CHANGES in the PARADIGM OF ACTION. You must DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY than what YOU?VE DONE BEFORE. You don?t have to feel differently to do differently, you just have to DO differently.Some of the greatest breakthroughs of science and engineering where discovered by accident.You have to go into the unknown and work your way through it to achieve anythingIf you?ve had success, you try to preserve and maintain certainty, you lose the very strategy that made you successful (plunging into uncertainty) If you?re not as hardcore as Gary John Bishop - how do you start taking action? Start with small actions - and small steps to build momentum and credibility with yourselfIs your life about revealing the future you want or perpetuating the past? Whatever you don?t forgive lives on with you. That includes forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Withholding forgiveness perpetuates what happens, and you end up being left with the resentment. You?ll never get over your past until you realize how you use it to justify yourself.Homework: Look around in your life, look at something you?ve been tolerating, putting off, ignoring or pretending about - pick one item you?ve been tolerating and go handle it TODAY. Take that item, step into action, and go handle it TODAY, regardless of how you feel about it.
2019-05-09
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The Scientific Difference Between Female & Male Brains with Dr. LouAnn Brizendine

In this episode we discuss the the male and female brains. Are they different? If so, what are the differences and do they matter? We look at the science behind all of this and unlock key insights into how you can improve your health, happiness, and relationships with by using a few simple strategies with our guest Dr. Louann Brizendine.Dr. Louann Brizendine is the Founder of The Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic and a neuropsychiatrist at UCSF. She is the author of the New York Times best-selling books, "The Female Brain" and "The Male Brain"  and executive producer of the 2017 movie, The Female Brain. She has served as faculty at both Harvard and UCSF and her work has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, The Guardian, and much more!How do we use science of a decision-making framework?Should we stop using science to shape our decisions because it gets things wrong?Why do scientists and experts often hedge their bets when citing evidence and research?Can we believe Science? Is science useful or not?Don?t throw the baby out with the bathwater - science and give us really actionable and useful information starting today The process and the progress of science is constantly questioning and constantly testing your assumptions - this is how you move towards the best answers and objective truthThe male and female brain are more alike than they are different, but they do have differences Starting as early as eight weeks of fetal life, the male?s tiny testicles start to pump out testosterone that shape substantial changes in the male?s brain vs the female?s brainThe biology is straightforward - males and females have different brainsThe major differences in the male and female brain have to do with reproduction Puberty impacts males and females differently, and shapes their brains and behaviors in a number of ways From age 11 to age 15 - a man's testosterone levels spike by 25x How much of our gender roles are a result of culture, parenting, and biology??Relationship play? vs ?rough and tumble play? for young boys and girls Is the debate on nature vs nurture dead?These behavioral patterns and traits are like a standard distribution that mostly overlap, but do have differences Does this research about the human brain reinforce gender stereotypes and biases?What is ?daddy brain? and how does it affect men?Testosterone decreases by 30% for about 6 monthsThis triggers the male brain to be more protective and more nurturing You can hear infants cry from much further awayVideo games impact the male brain by tapping into your search for mastery and flowHow do we shape or change our behavior as a result of our different brains?Other people are different from you - they think differently! Why offering people advice or solutions instead of validating their feelings can often be the wrong strategy If you?re missing the emotional component when to try to influence people, you?re missing a key piece Homework: For men - say ?Honey, I know how you feel? and then pause Homework: For women - Men?s testosterone levels are 10x more than yours, that means your partner is (if you?re the same age) 3x more sexually interested than you are 
2019-05-02
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Never Satisfied? Always Feel Like You?re Chasing The Next Thing? Here?s Why with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman

Have you ever desperately wanted something, and then as soon as you get it, or as soon as you achieve it, you seemingly toss it aside and move on to the next new thing? In this episode we explore the powerful brain science behind why this happens. We look at dopamine, how it shapes your behavior, why it causes you to desire certain things and motivates you to achieve new things, but also why it can be dangerous if it becomes too imbalanced. We share strategies for enhancing and harmonizing with your brains ?dopamine circuitry? and much more in this interview with Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman.
Dr. Daniel Z. Lieberman is a professor at George Washington University. He has published over 50 scientific reports on behavioral science and provided insight on psychiatric issues for the U.S. Government. He is also co-author of the best-selling book Molecule of More, which discusses the effect dopamine has on the human desire and the human brainThe simple concept of ?up versus down? and how it cascades through the way we all live and interact in the world The ?paripersonal? space - everything within arms reach - things that you own, possess, and control. When you look ?down? into the paripersonal space - you experience these things in ?the here and now"When you look ?up? you look into the ?extra personal space? - beyond yourself - things beyond the here and now that require effort, planning, and motivation to get, acquire, or achieveThe idea of dopamine as the ?reward molecule? is WRONGDopamine is not the molecule of reward, but rather the molecule of DESIRE and MOTIVATION People who are dopaminergic might have addictive personalities - excessively eating, gaming, watching porn, etc. A brain on dopamine is like a high performance sports car - it can produce spectacular results, but it breaks down easily What is a dopaminergic brain? A brain with a highly active dopamine system. How does dopamine impact our love circuitry and our experience of love?All dopamine derived pleasures DON'T LAST - as soon as what we desire in the future becomes what we have in the present, dopamine shuts down - and achieving it becomes a let downIf you?re spending most of your time in the dopamine circuitry - you?re ALWAYS focused on WHATS NEXTUnderstanding the brain is the most important thing we can do Highly dopaminergic people like ideas, concepts, and tools - not emotionsEmotional intelligence is the perfect counterbalance to being highly dopaminergicA more advanced strategy to spend more time in the here and now would be mindfulness meditationMeditation is all about clearing your thoughts of future clutter and focusing like a laser on the here and now. Meditation strengthens the circuitry in the brain responsible for processing the here and now. When those circuits are strong it becomes easier to shift into them.Homework: If you are dopaminergic - spend more time focused on the fine arts - fine arts are a great way to see the synthesis between dopamine circuitry and the here and now circuitry.Bonus Homework: Take up a hobby that involves the creation of something. Painting, cooking, playing an instrument, woodworking. These hobbies have fallen out of favor in our modern world. If you want to get the most out of your brain - you have to appreciate its structure, which has been built up for millions of years of evolution. Find ways to do things with your hands. Tinkering, making things. When you?re engaged in a sport or physical activity you?re also harmonizing the here and now (moving your body) + using dopamine to develop strategies to score points and defeat your opponents.

2019-04-25
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Healing Trauma - How To Start Feeling Safe In Your Own Body with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

In this episode we discuss trauma and how it is stored in the body. What causes trauma and what does it do to your body? We explore whether the rational, thinking mind can deal with trauma and look at some of the ways you can deal with traumatic experiences in your life. What are the best strategies for feeling safe, feeling calm, and feeling in control of your own body? How do you release trauma from your body and feel safe? We discuss all of this and much more with our guest Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk.Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk is a Boston-based psychiatrist and The New York Times best-selling author of The Body Keeps the Score. He was previously the President of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School, and Medical Director of the Trauma Center. He has taught at universities around the world and his work has been featured in TIME, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, and more!What is Trauma? How do we define and understand trauma in today?s society?It makes you want to forget, it makes you want to push it away, it makes you want to erase it. Trauma is something that is so horrendous that you can?t cope with it, it?s too much to deal with Trauma renders you helpless and makes you feel like there is no way out Helplessness is an absolute precondition for a traumatic experience Our society continuously ignores how trauma is formed and created - pushing it under the rug and hiding from itTrauma is not a story - trauma is not a memory about the past. Trauma changes the brain. Trauma sits within you and within your body. People experiencing trauma keep behaving and reacting as if they were stuck in that experience When we are traumatized - the brain often cannot process it and the body ?stores it? - the body gets stuck in a state of hyper alertness, the mind gets stuck in a state of hyper-alertness The perceptual situation in the brain becomes rewired to be on ?high alert"Your body, your mind, your entire system gets frozen or stuck in ?fight or flight? mode When you?re traumatized, it?s very hard to learn or integrate new experiences - thats what makes treating trauma  so difficult Trauma is not typically rationally processed, it goes into the irrational part of the brain and your body gets locked into a place of constantly reacting as if you?re in a sense of danger One of the most tragic results of trauma is people try to shut the feeling down and end up shutting down their ability to feel - or they turn to drugs, alcohol, and pharmaceuticals Studies show that yoga is more effective than any drug that has been studied for solving trauma There is promising research around psychotropics (psylocbin and MDMA) for trauma reliefNeurofeedback is another promising solution for trauma Self regulation - learning to control your own physiology using ancient Chinese and Indian methods - research is starting to show these solutions help as mind body interventions to solve trauma in the body Exposure treatment misunderstands how to treat real trauma It?s not the memory its that your brain/body - entire system - is locked in a state of being ?high alert? - and that these mind body interventions are some of the best ways to help people feel ?Safe? inside their own bodies Once your body feels safe, you can allow yourself to slowly go to experiences from the past that caused the body to be put into a traumatic state Homework: Take care of your body. Develop a loving relationship to taking care of your body.
2019-04-18
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No Hard Feelings: Your Complete Guide To Dealing With Emotions At Work with Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy

In this episode we discuss emotions at work. Do they have a place? What can you do about them? We look at why you should be less passionate about your job, we explore the science behind actually being motivated at work and prevent yourself from being burnt out, and we share a powerfully simple emotion management checklist you can start using right now with our guests Molly West Duffy and Liz Fosslien.
Liz Fosslien and Molly West Duffy are the co-authors of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotion at Work. Liz has run workshops for leaders at organizations such as Google, Facebook, Nike, and Stanford on how to create inclusive cultures. Her writing has appeared in CNN, The Economist, The Financial Times, and NPR.
Molly is an Organizational Designer at global innovation firm IDEO. Her writing has been featured in Fast Company, Quartz, Stanford Social Innovation Review, Entrepreneur, Quiet Rev, and other digital outlets, and she?s taught design courses at Stanford.Why you should be LESS passionate about your jobCaring too much about your job can actually be bad for your healthHow do we ?take a chill pill? and distance ourselves from our work?The Power of Rest and Recovery and the diminishing returns of over workingCarve out time to think, carve out time to be alone, make time for friends and family What do people get wrong about motivating and inspiring themselves?Your emotions can create and sustain your motivationsWhat are the things that kill motivation?How to take back control of your work and deal with a tough or micro managing boss The ?progress principle? - small incremental progress of small wins can snowball How do you build motivation at work? (And stop the things that kill your motivation) It?s biologically impossible to stop feeling emotion. You cannot make decisions without emotion. Is it possible that envy can be a productive emotion? Can envy help you make better decisionsCan anger and anxiety be productive tools to helping you achieve your goals?We walk through a great emotional management checklist that you can start to use right away to improve your decision making Discover your decision-making tendency - satisfiers and maximizers - what are the differences and why is that important?Run your thinking by another person - verbalizing them out loud forces you to synthesize information and identify biases in your thinking How do you create psychological safety? One easy strategy is to positively reinforce someone taking one of these risks. Use ?generative language? to keep ideas flowing and open The concept of ?task conflict? - we like each other, but we clash with each other over the CONTENT of our work Write your own ?User Manual? or ?How To Work With Me Guide? to give to your boss, coworkers, etc Your feelings aren?t factsWe often react and interact with each other based on assumptions that we never both to explore or look into at all The words we say are not always what we mean The 3 things to do if you have an issue with someoneLabel your feelingsUnderstand where those feelings are coming fromFeel calm enough to have a conversation about your emotions without getting emotional An in person request is more than thirty times more likely to be a yes than an emailed one What are some best practices for digital communication?Homework: Sit down and write down everything you?re feeling to develop your emotional granularity and self awareness. Take the time to reflect and think about what you?re feeling. Then identify the NEED behind those feelings.
2019-04-11
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Reveal How You Can Banish Stress & Anxiety With Science & Ancient Wisdom with Dr. Mark Epstein

In this episode we share how to ?get over yourself? and stop taking things so seriously, we discuss the important relationship between confusion and clarity, and we explore the art of letting go of the need for safety, security and control in your everyday life so that you can relax into who you?ve always been with our guest Dr. Mark Epstein.
Dr. Mark Epstein is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy, including his most recent books The Trauma of Everyday Life and Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. He is currently Clinical Assistant Professor in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University and his work has been featured in Psychology Today, The New York TImes, and more!How do we move from addiction/anxiety/depression/worry to love/relief/understanding?What?s the prescription for solving anxiety and worry?The prescriptions from the ancient texts of buddhism are still highly relevant in solving many of today?s problems with the human condition Realizing that the mind is trainable is the beginning of your journey towards relief and understanding The untrained mind is a wild thing - one of the challenges of adulthood is to get a handle on your own mindHow do we start to be honest with ourselves and confront our own mental addictions and negative thoughts?Anything that promotes self reflection is the way to begin confronting your thoughtsYou don?t have to overcome your fears - you just have to be willing to examine them The hardest thing is often just being willing to take the first step You can?t force someone into meditation - someone has to reach a critical point of personal suffering and to make their own decisionHow his father?s battle with brain cancer transformed Dr. Epstein?s relationship with helping othersHow do you handle your own mind when facing death or dying??The craft of meditation? - the practice and technique of what to do and how to meditate - is only one part of the puzzle The ?art of meditation? - beyond just the physical technique - is a rich field of exploration Ancient buddhist texts offer some deep insights into modern psychotherapy - but the language of ancient Buddhism is couched in the understanding of thousands of years ago and needs some interpretationWhy people ?expect too much from meditation? and what that means In the west especially - we want the science to ?do it for us? - but we have to do it ourselves There?s an important relationship between confusion and clarity The clarity that one seeks only comes from sitting and staring at your confusion The fundamental power of meditation and mindfulness comes from really staring and facing the difficult Creating a "therapeutic split in the ego"It?s possible to be both the observer and that which is being observed in your own stream of consciousness The ego - as we think about it in western society is all about self preservation and self control - it?s looking for safety, security, and control We can?t jump right into enlightenment - it's about the JOURNEY and the everyday work, practice, and moments of honest reckoning with ourselves  How to create humility and graciousness in your life Homework: Read a book, or go to an art museum. Go outside, close the door, stand there and listen. Trust yourself. 

2019-04-04
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Evernote Secrets That Will Help You Develop a ?Photographic Memory? & A Powerful ?External Brain? with Charles Byrd

In this interview we discuss how to create an ?external brain? that lets you keep track of your tasks, projects, ideas and inspirations - while freeing your conscious mind for the most productive and focused thinking - we explore how you can connect the external world of meetings and events with your internal world of ideas and thoughts in a uniquely powerful way, and we demonstrate how you can save up to 144 hours a year using a few simple techniques with our guest Charles Byrd.
Charles Byrd is a productivity and organizational expert and the founder of Byrd Word. He?s known as the world?s foremost Evernote guru.  As a productivity expert, Charles coaches CEOs and entrepreneurs how to "Kill the Chaos" of information overload.  Evernote is a ?trusted system? you can apply to your life, profession, business etc. Creating an ?external brain? to keep track of your tasks, projects, ideas, inspirationThe powerful merger of collecting things from your internal worlds and external world and connecting them Your ?5 second superpower? - find whatever you want or need in 5 seconds or less Do you use Evernote for one ?specific thing? instead of everything? How you can find key information you need in high pressure and difficult situations How you can cut down on task switching How you can be more focused and creative by taking processing load out of your conscious mind How to tag things in Evernote for instant and easy recallWho, What, Where Why How to hack Siri shortcuts to amp the power of Evernote to the next levelThe ?Power Trifecta? - a combination of tools, work flows, and habits to create the most optimized routines possible Simple tactics you can use to start adding things to Evernote right away ?Do I need it, do I dig it?"How to begin with Evernote if you?ve always wanted to, but aren?t sure where to startHow you can save 3 hours a week using Evernote - that?s 144 hours a year - 18 working days of reclaimed timeCreate a Siri shortcut for master list and marketing idea notesHow you can feel like a rock star who can do anything How to hack meetings to be more productive Click the ?Task? Checkbox on any action items you have within a meeting or conversationWrite a 1-2 sentence summary of the meeting and any key action items Evernote is the ?cornerstone? of productive sanity Evernote is the foundation of being productive in the modern day
2019-04-02
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How You Can Boost Your Energy, Focus & Happiness In 5 Minutes or Less with Gretchen Rubin

In this episode we discuss how to boost your energy, focus, and happiness in 5 minutes or less using a dead simple strategy anyone can apply right away. We explore the power of self knowledge and why it?s one of the cornerstones of success in any area of life, and we uncover several powerfully uncomfortable questions we can ask ourselves to be happier, healthier and more productive with our guest Gretchen Rubin.
Gretchen Rubin is the author of the New York Times bestsellers, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, and The Four Tendencies and her latest book is Outer Order Inner Calm. She?s appeared on TV outlets such as the Today show, Oprah?s Super Soul Sunday Morning, and more. She?s also appeared in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and many more!I finally cleaned out my fridge and now I know I can switch careers.When we get control of the stuff of our lives we often see big results.American adults spend 55 minutes a day looking for misplaced items. Focusing on order can yield huge benefits VERY QUICKLY with simple focus. The ?one-minute rule? - if you can do it in less than a minute, do it without delay.How to keep the scum of clutter on the surface of life go away.It?s much easier to keep up than to catch up.Figure out WHAT YOU NEED to do your best work and then GET IT - create the environment in which you can thrive.There isn?t ONE BEST WAY to set up your environment to thrive. Self knowledge is the most powerful and fundamental kind of knowledge you can create. One of the great challenges of our lives is really trying to grapple with - what is the truth about ME?Ask yourself uncomfortable questions. Whom do you envy?It?s a very revealing thing. It shows you that they have something that you wish for yourself.Whose job or life gives you a TON of envy? There?s information there about what you want to do. Most useful things involve discomfort - especially when it comes to self knowledge. When trying to decide - should I ask this of myself or not? Choose the BIGGER LIFE - what to YOU will create a BIGGER life? Sometimes it?s worth the insecurity and frustration and anxiety if you?re pursuing what - to you- represents a bigger life. Is it worth the time? The bandwidth? All reality is one interconnected mess.That?s why it?s so important to have a multi-disciplinary perspective.There?s a HUGE difference between ?I?m right? and ?This is what?s true for me."In a fight over dirty dishes at the office - that?s the tip of a giant iceberg of psychology that shapes hundreds of complex and nuanced interactions. There are so many ways to achieve your goals, experiment and try different methods.Homework: How do you decide what to get rid of? Do you need it, do you use it, do you love it? Don?t get organized, get rid of things first. Homework: The one minute rule - anything you can do in under a minute, do it without delay. It?s not so much WHAT should you do, but rather how can you get yourself to STICK to what you want to do? Experimentation is crucial. Homework: Ask yourself - how have you succeeded in the past? Ask yourself what you learned from that and model that behavior. 
2019-03-28
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Your Brain is Playing Tricks On You - 18 Surprising Biases That Control Your Life with Dr. Daniel Crosby

In this episode we discuss why it?s so important to study and understand psychology if you want to master any aspect of life. We look at evolutionary science behind how your brain can often play tricks on you. We share a simple and impactful model from psychology for dealing with stressful and tough situations, and we discuss the dangerous illusion of the ?quest for certainty? and how you should actively embrace taking risks in your life with our guest Dr. Daniel Crosby.
Dr. Daniel Crosby is a psychologist and behavioral finance expert who helps organizations understand the intersection of mind and markets. His most recent book, The Behavioral Investor, provides an expert look at the useful mix of psychology and investment science. His work has appeared in the Huffington Post and Risk Management Magazine, as well as his monthly columns for WealthManagement.com and Investment News.In order to understand how the financial and capital markets work - we have to understand human behavior.Since almost everything we do is largely a function of interacting with humans - in order to understand life, business, the world - we have to understand human behavior and the human mindEvidence based growth is a powerful niche - because the leadership and personal development space is full of voodoo, bad thinking, and wrong common sense The evidence based approach is harder but ultimately much more fulfilling and impactfulThings that have served us well from an evolutionary perspective often serve us poorly in the modern world and the financial markets The human brain hasn?t been upgraded in over 200,000 years. Your 200,000 year old brain is trying to cope with systems that are tens if not hundreds of years old - this leads to a number of problems and issues. We are wired to act - we feel a burning need to take action and do something - and yet often times the best investment strategy is to do nothing The best performing investors are people who either died or forgot about their trading account! ?Success begets failure.? As you win, you become more convinced of your skill, and you start to make worse and worse decisions,  becoming sloppy and undisciplined You must be a rules based, systematic investor when it comes to decision-making. There is a very real, physical side, of dealing with stressful and difficult situationsBefore you do any interventions to prevent anxiety - you can get a HUGE amount of mileage out of taking basic care of your body - sleeping better, drinking less caffeine, getting in some moderate exercise.We are more than what happens to us - at any time we can change our RESPONSE to any stimulus.There is NO substitute for TAKING RISK, DOING HARD THINGS and SINKING AND SWIMMING ON YOUR OWN MERITS. In our best efforts to protect ourselves from harm we bring about the very thing we are trying to avoid. You aren?t really protecting yourself - you?re bringing about the absolute realization of what you?re really scared of. The quest for certainty is very dangerous. There is uncertainty. It?s part of the game. The alternative of embracing uncertainty is to always settle for the lowest common denominator.The ?backfire effect? - often times when presented with data and evidence that disagrees with people?s world view, people often become MORE committed to their idea or belief than they were before. Meet people who don?t share your beliefs and try to understand why they hold the beliefs that they do. Homework: Go somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.Homework: Seek first to get your own house in order. Take a hard look at yourself.
2019-03-21
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Reclaim Your Time & Take Back Control Of Your Life in 30 Minutes with Laura Vanderkam

In this episode we ask - how do you make decisions that let you see beyond your every day inbox, busy work, and demands of others? We uncover that there are huge mismatches between how you think you spend your time and how you actually spend it. We share you can deal with the fear, and the reality, of disappointing other people and not meeting their expectations and we share one simple strategy - in 30 minutes - that can help you reclaim control of your time with our guest Laura Vanderkam. 
Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management and productivity books. Her TED talk titled ?How To Gain Control of Your Free Time? has been viewed over 5 million times and she is the co-host of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. Her work has appeared in publications including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Fast Company, and Fortune.While people are happy to get information, they remember it much better when its in the form of storiesYou should make time in your life for what?s important. Time is a choice, you?re ALWAYS choosing how you spend your time. You HAVE to choose how to spend your time, whether you want to or notWhat people often miss, especially when you try to be everything to everyone,  there are tradeoffs and opportunity costs to EVERYTHING - even if you don?t see it Saying yes to something is, by definition, saying no to something else. Every choice to do one thing is is, by definition, a choice to NOT do something else. Have you ever binged an entire book or TV series in a short amount of time? That?s proof that you have more time than you think, you?re just not spending it how you necessarily want to. How do you make decisions that let you see beyond your every day inbox, busy work, and demands of others?Envision your ideal future, and start to bring those things into your life. Your priorities should inform your scheduling choices. It?s that simple. And yet so few people do it. You must consciously choose to invest time in the things that matter to you. If you don?t your time will be TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU, by someone else?s priorities. It?s not a priority just because someone else thinks is it important or because society at large thinks it?s important. This doesn?t have to be huge chunks of time, even an hour or two a week can be transformational.Challenge yourself to find 30 mins a day, or 3.5hrs a week - of extra time per week. Anyone can achieve this. This can apply to both your PERSONAL life and to your professional life - too often we neglect one or the other or think time management only Is the bigger challenge to figure out your own priorities or just to make time for them?What questions or activities can you do to figure out what?s most important to you and where you SHOULD spend your time?How do you deal with the fear, and the reality, of disappointing other people and not meeting their expectations?What were you thinking about on today?s date, two years ago?Likewise, whatever is keeping you up now probably won?t matter in two yearsTrying to manage your time without measuring it is like losing weight without paying attention to your diet and exercise habits. There are HUGE mismatches between how you THINK you spend your time, and how you actually spend it. By doing a time audit you start to realize huge opportunities in your schedule and where you are spending your time.Often times the small chunks of time here and there start to add up - and don?t register on how you?re spending your time. Homework: Time tracking is the best starting point. Write down what you?ve done over the previous 24 hours. Try that out for a week. 
2019-03-14
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The Epic Mental Framework You Need To Master Any Skill and Defeat Fear and Uncertainty with Josh Kaufman

In this episode we discuss how you can understand the world with powerful clarity. What makes other people behave in certain ways? What are the most important concepts and ideas in the business world? Do you often feel like you?re looking for a magic bullet or paint-by-numbers approach to solving your problems? The solution to all of these questions lies in the powerful framework that we explain in-depth and show you how to apply with our guest Josh Kaufman. Why Mental Models are so important and one of the best thinking frameworks you can use to organize information and understand the world.Mental models are universal, important, and flexible concepts that describe how the world works in some key way Mental models - for me - come from a fundamental place of curiosity - I'm obsessed with understanding HOW and WHY things work - businesses, humans, success etc - and I find mental models to be a very helpful tool for organizing the reasons that things happen in the world Mental models are cognitive tools to approach any situation and understand it better How does the world work? What makes other people behave in certain ways?What are the most important concepts and ideas in the business world?Mental models are one of the defining factors that separate ultra achievers from people who plateau in their lives and careersMental models are powerful and systematically underrated and studying mental models is one of, if not the most, high leverage activities you can do with your time We often fall prey to having too narrow of a focus and ignore the bigger picture, we often under-value versatility and a broader persecutive - which mental models give you. What are the most useful mental models to start with? What mental models does Josh frequently apply over and over again?How do you start with mental models? How do you begin to implement them into your life?What do people often get wrong about the 10,000 hour rule? Have you ever said ?I would really like to learn how to do something new? but felt like you didn?t have the time?The ?Law of Practice? - the early hours of practice at a skill lead to an extremely rapid improvement and development in skills What?s the method or framework for rapidly learning any skill in 20 hours or less?Adult learners often struggle when they compare their skill level with that of other people. Your job is not to compare yourself with others - it's to compare yourself AFTER the 20 hour framework to yourself BEFORE the 20 hour framework. How to fight a hydra is a story of - Ambition, Uncertainty, Risk, Fear of the Unknown How do you deal with the difficulties and self doubts of whether or not you are doing the right thing?Where do most people go wrong with their approach to uncertainty and fear of the unknown?Most people wish uncertainty would go away - they think that if the uncertainty is still there that they are doing something wrong and that they need to change course - but it?s the opposite - you have to be willing to tolerate, accept, and live with uncertainty.Homework: Do some research on mental models and do some reading and learning around mental models. Start filling your mental model toolbox. A practical way to do this - choose to read or listen to something that is dramatically outside your area of expertise. Broaden your intellectual landscape as much as you can. Homework: If you were going to invest 20 hours into learning how to do something that is either personally fulfilling or very helpful for work - if you invested 30 to 40 mins per day for a month - what skill would you focus on first and why? Is that skill really worth committing 20 hours of practice?
2019-03-07
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Find Your Purpose In Life When You?re Lost, Confused, and Uncertain - Lessons from Death?s Door with Jon Vroman

In this episode we discuss how to find your purpose in life, especially when you?re lost or confused about what to do next. We hear some incredible stories and unforgettable lessons from people who are fighting through life threatening illnesses, and look at how to really push yourself beyond what you thought was possible to achieve what truly matters to you, all of this and much more with our guest Jon Vroman. 
Jon Vroman is the co-founder of The Front Row Foundation, a charity that creates unforgettable moments for individuals who are braving life-threatening illnesses. Jon teaches others to ?Live Life In The Front Row? through teaching and inspiring others with the Art of Moment Making. He is also an award-winning speaker, podcast host, and multi best-selling author.Learning about living life, from people who are fighting for their livesWhen you are facing down death - things become super clear. A lot of things that we used to worry about seem to fade into the backgroundWhy one woman was happy that people looked at her with disgust when she was going through her chemo treatmentYour life is going to end. The ride is going to come to an end. How does that shape and change your thinking?How do you face the reality of existence, and mortality, with a sense of vibrancy and positive urgency instead of anxiety and fear of death?If we ask powerful questions, we get powerful answers. Questions shape our lives.If we get ask the wrong questions, we get the wrong answers. You have to manage your mindset. You have to create a positive environment and you have to surround yourself with powerful positive relationships How do we foster powerful relationships Action Item: Write down the 8 most important people in your life, then write down that their #1 goal or dream. Do you know it? How can you help THEM achieve it. Hope can powerfully shape your behavior Hope is uniting, hope is collaborative, hope brings things to life When life throws you curve balls, when you get punched in the face - hope brings you through - it creates the power of possibilities Ask yourself and others ?what dreams are making you come alive right now?? If this year was wildly successful for you how would it change your life? How do you fuel yourself? Why do you want to do what you do?The power of telling yourself ?If you can?t, you must"When your why has heart, your how gets legs. When the why really matters, you will always find a How. You don?t have to know how, you can figure the how out if you have a strong enough why. How to create real purpose, real fuel in your life - to really push yourself beyond what you thought was possible to achieve what truly matters to youBeing a parent vs being a business person - where does your identity sit? How does shame show up in your life? The ego, the false self, and the true selfBeing a better parent isn?t about learning to say specific things to your kids, it?s not about practical and logical action steps and items - it?s about awakening and developing yourselfHomework: write out the list of your top 8 relationships and write out their dreams, do something once a month to support their dreams. And follow up. And do it right now. Do it with no expectation of anything in return. 
2019-02-28
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How Superhumans and Navy SEALs Perform at The Extremes of Human Capacity with Dr. Rowan Hooper

In this episode we ask how champions are made. Are they born or are they built? Is nature vs nurture even a useful model for understanding human performance? We look at the incredible power of focus and how it translates into championship performance, we study how Navy Seals use the technique of ?drown proofing? and how you can use the same thing to conquer your own fear and perform like a champion. All of this and much more with our guest Dr. Rowan Hooper.
Dr. Rowan Hooper is managing editor of New Scientist magazine, where he has spent more than ten years writing about all aspects of science. He is also the author of the bestselling book Superhuman: Life at the Extremes of Our Capacity. He worked as a biologist and reporter in Japan and two collections of his long-running column for the Japan Times have been published in Japan. His work has also appeared in The Economist, The Guardian, Wired, and The Washington Post.Are champions and high performers born or are they made?How does expertise, traits, and personality develop over time? To be the best in the world at something, no matter what the rest of us may desire, you probably have a genetic leg up to help you achieve absolute greatness Even if you don?t win the genetic lottery, you can make huge strides and get a very long way with practice - it?s an essential component of achievement It?s not as simple as having a gene that simply makes you a better singer or better runner - it?s a mix or combination of dozens, if not hundreds, of genes - and whether those genes are expressed, via epigenetics Does nature vs nurture make sense? Is that still a useful model for understanding performance?For many complex traits, for example intelligence, around 50% of the variance in that trait is typically linked to genetics For memory - its one of the traits where you can substantially increase your memory without any real genetic help. What you can learn from the world record for sailing around the world solo The incredible power of focus - and how Ellen MacArthur organized her entire life towards setting an epic world record What does the science say about how we can become more focused?Massive meta analysis studies of meditation show that over time your brain structure changes and your cognitive ability improves What does ?the science of bravery? say?What do scientists say about how we can increase bravery in ourselves? What Navy Seals training and ?drown proofing? can teach us about conquering fear and being more brave What does it mean when ?the training kicks in? in a moment of crisis?Exposure therapy - and why it?s so important to helping conquer fear Courage is moving slowly towards what you?re naturally inclined to fear The power of lucid dreaming - controlling your dreams to improve your performanceHow do we think about performance and achievement in our lives, in the context of this science?Think about WHY you are doing what you are doing. Is it really what you love doing? Why do you want to achieve that goal or improve that aspect of yourself?Cross train, and don?t specialize too early. Try different things until you find the one that just suits you perfectlyHomework: Practice whatever it is you?ve decided you want to improve yourself in, practice in a directed and deliberate way, check the science behind what you?re doing 
2019-02-21
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Inside the Mind of a Psychopathic Killer with James Fallon

What happens when a prominent neuroscientist finds out there is something wrong with his own brain? In this episode we explore the shocking discovery that our guest made when he realized, after years of studying the brains of psychopaths, that he had the exact same brain structure. We unwind the twisted narrative and the wild conclusions that come from his riveting discovery - and much more - with our guest Dr. James Fallon.
Dr. James Fallon is a Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at UC Irvine and internationally renowned neurobiologist. He is the author of the best-seller The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist?s Personal Journey into the Dark Side of The Brain. Fallon has lectured worldwide on neurolaw and the brains of psychopathic killers and dictators. His work has been featured on NPR, CBS, ABC, and numerous science specials.A neuroscientist studying the brains and brain scans of muderers and psychopathic killers discovers something truly shockingStudying and analyzing the brains of killers - Dr. Fallon found a surprising pattern of what the brain of a psychopath looks likeFrom studying the genes of Alzheimers patients - Dr. Fallon started uncovering the genetic links to brain structures of psychopaths and sociopaths Adult Stem Cells in your brain can be activated to reverse serious brain conditions Real life Criminal Minds - inside the brain of serial killers and psychopaths What it?s like to discover that you?re a psychopath What are epigenetics? Why don?t all genes express themselves? What?s the ?junk DNA? in your cells and what does it do?One of the major things that triggers the expression of certain genes is stress and abuse, especially at a young age (between birth and 3 years old) Most serial killers were not only psychopaths, but also typically had serious damage to their brains as well Smart psychopaths are very hard to catch and very hard to spotFor an everyday person, how do you determine that someone is a psychopath or has psychopathic tendencies?What are the typical signs of psychopathy / narcissistic personality disorder?The use a lot of personal pronouns, more than an average person talkingTheir hands often move up higher and higher above their headsThey will talk very graphically about their own sex life, or their own body, etc They are very glib, they are very slick verbally, and know what to say They often seem very intelligent They are often over confidentThey are often very competent and aggressiveThey might seem too interested or care too much about you and your emotionsTheir conversations always seem like a performance Some of the most dangerous aspects of psychopathy are pro-social psychopaths who know how to navigate society Many of the pro-social traits of psychopaths are often overlapping with the major pro-social traits of psychopathy Psychopaths are always looking for what bothers you emotionally, and then they want to use it against you to manipulate you What?s the best way to defend yourself from a psychopath manipulating you?
2019-02-14
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The Surprising Idea You Can Use To Overcome Self Doubt, Negativity, and Insecurity with Todd Herman

In this episode we discuss a proven way of overcoming the self-doubt, negativity, and insecurity that hold you back and we show you how to ultimately become your best self using a unique and unlikely strategy. We look at legends from pro athletes to MLK and uncover how they used the same exact strategy to get into the zone when it counts. We discuss all this and much more with our guest Todd Herman.
Todd Herman is a high-performance coach and author of, 'The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life'. He is the creator of the 90 Day Year a performance system which is designed to create results for business owners, fast. He has worked with Olympic athletes, Entrepreneurs, and Leaders including members of the Spanish Royal Family. He's been featured on the Today Show, The Good Life Project, Inc Magazine and more.Nature is the ultimate litmus test of whether or not an idea has credence and truthIf something doesn?t exist in nature - we need to look at it and understand itBalance does not exist in nature - but equilibrium does If you want to achieve big things, if you want to explore your capabilities, you have to throw yourself out of balance, you have to push past your comfort zone, to achieve big goalsIn order to achieve big goals, you have to give up focus on other areas of your life to do it Integration is far more important than balance - how do we actually integrate things into our lives? How do you move beyond the idea of work-life balance and move into integration?An alter-ego can be an internal trusted friend. Bring an ally inside your mind. How do you get into the zone? How do you get into flow states? An alter ego ALLOWS you to have permission to achieveHow to leverage the science of "Enclothed Cognition? to transform yourself and create a powerful alter ego that can help you achieve anything How legends like pro athletes and Martin Luther King would use physical props to tap into their alter egosThe idea that you are one single self is completely flawed. Life is about context. You are different people in different contexts. You don?t build an alter-ego for your entire life. You build specific alter egos for specific contexts and opportunities.To meet force with force does not help when dealing with difficult people. All it does is prolong the tantrum and create problems. Be like Mr. Rogers.Don?t fight against yourself, leverage the way you naturally behave and turn that to your advantage.Resistance comes from the unconscious and is extraordinarily powerful. Willpower comes from the frontal lobe. It?s like a mouse fighting an elephant. At your core, you have unlimited possibility - you have to decide and choose WHO you are and WHO is gonna show up to get the results you want. If something is getting in the way of you doing what you want to do or know you can do - THAT?S being inauthenticWhat?s the critical difference between being childish and child-like? And why does that matter?Homework: Define what ?field of play? it makes the most sense for you to use an Alter Ego in. Start with - what area of life are you most frustrated with?Homework: What are the traits you most want to bring into that field of play? Is there anyone or anything that already embodies that? A fictional character? A real person? A historical figure? Is there someone that you?re really drawn to? Your mind is constantly telling stories - if you tap into an existing story that?s already been written - you harness the power of it. Ask yourself - how can you ACTIVATE that?

2019-02-07
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You Can Become More Creative With This Unique Strategy Used By American Spies with Beth Comstock

In this episode we discuss how our guest helped the secret agents become more creative. We look at specific strategies to navigate personal change while empowering and using your imagination. How do you become more imaginative? What are the keys to sparking imagination and creativity? How do you use creativity to get through challenging setbacks? We discuss all of this and much more with our guest Beth Comstock.
Beth Comstock is a business executive and author with a deep history of leading large companies to success through innovation and new opportunities. Beth is currently a director at Nike, the trustee of The National Geographic Society and former board president of the Cooper Hewitt Smithsonian National Design Museum. She is the author of the best-selling book Imagine it Forward - Courage, Creativity, and the Power of Change. She has worked in top leadership roles at GE, NBC, CBS, and her work has been featured across the globe.What is the imagination gap?How does our quest for certainty end up killing possibility?We often fail to use our imagination to move ourselves, and the world, forwardWhat did a chance meeting with the CIA have to do with navigating personal change and using your imagination?We want a risk free world, a risk free life - but it doesn?t existRisk is the will to act on imagination The 5 key elements of sparking imaginationIn today?s world - we have to ?Get good at change"How to handle change and the disruptive pace of change in todays world Do you have your own process or practice of adaptation?What does it mean to have a practice or process of adaptation??Going on threes? - after you see something a third time, use that as a trigger to follow up and learn more about itTake back 10% of your time for these contemplative routines Pick up a magazine you would NEVER read and read it on a plane - expose yourself to radically new ideas The future is here, its just not even distributed yetYou have to put yourself out there to discover new ideas - ?mushroom hunting? "Get outside the Jar? - getting outside creates a whole new perspective In a world where we often choose our filters based on what we already believe - its even more important to expose yourself to new and different ideaWhat is social courage and how can you create it for yourself?The power of small challenges and change to help build your skillsWhat do we do when gatekeepers limit us from what we want?Most of the time people give up on an idea when they hear No one timeThe power and magic of ?No is not yet? - no is an invitation to come back in a new way Building up resilience and persistence when we really care about our ideas How do you build bridges instead of walls? Your critics can become your best advocates if you treat them the right way?I?m gonna work to do better, but I need your help?What problem are we trying to solve? Are you aligned with the people you work with on solving the same problem?Often times we try to protect ourselves, our ideas - even our own egos - by trying to hide from negative feedback - but it?s often essential to fueling creativity and getting to the best ideas and solutionsIt?s so easy to delude ourselves, to think things are they way we want them to be, or they should be, instead of the way they are - acknowledging reality is a vital step towards creating results Constraints are very powerful for fostering creativity Homework: Ask yourself what?s one thing you want to move forward on? Ask yourself what?s holding you back and write a permission slip to yourself ?I give myself permission to do this."
2019-01-31
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How You Can Create Lasting Change and Effortlessly Alter Your Destiny with James Fell

In this episode we discuss what causes the big moments that can transform your entire life in an instant and we show you how to create that kind of motivation and inspiration in your every day life so that you can be more productive and happier. We also expose why the common wisdom about willpower and ?ego depletion? is completely wrong and what you should do instead. All this and much more with our guest James Fell.
James Fell is an author, owner of BodyForWife.com, and science-based motivator for lasting life change. He is one of the most read health and fitness writers in North America and currently writes articles for the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune. His work has been featured in numerous publications including TIME Magazine, Men?s Health, Women?s Health, and much more. He is the author of the recently released book The Holy Sh!t Moment: How Lasting Change Can Happen in an Instant.When we have a transformative experience it?s not about behavior change, its about a change in your CORE IDENTITY or your VALUESWhat causes the big moments that can shift or transform your life in an instant?Minimizing the discomfort of change so that it doesn?t combat your core identity to much In order to create lasting behavior change and form sticky habits its a slow and painful processIdentity and value change can happen in a flash, effortlessly Do we have to use willpower and grit? Do we have to tough it out and suck it up? The idea that people can?t change because they lack willpower is DEEPLY FLAWED The 1996 Case Western Study - would you rather eat chocolate or radishes? ?Ego depletion? - the idea that willpower is a limited resource - is a flawed and dated ideaThe 2 big flaws with the studies about ego depletion and willpowerWillpower is often irrelevant to the equation of motivationWillpower training and efforts to increase willpower have never shown any effectHaving to power through and do things you hate has negative mental and physical consequences The ?Rage to Master? and how it drives people to work relentlessly on things they are overwhelmingly passionate about Rather than trying to CREATE GREATNESS - find the thing that makes you WANT TO CREATE GREATNESS - the field that naturally makes you want to strive for greatness Happiness vs Flourishing Happiness is a state of mind - it?s temporaryWhat really drives people is flourishing - finding something where you a contributing to your own wellbeing and the wellbeing of othersThe science of epiphanies and eureka moments - how you can prep and prepare your brain for insights What could I accomplish if I had an endless fountain of motivation to do it? What could that be?Life changing epiphanies typically happen after you?ve done deep analytical preparation work The answers don?t come when you?re trying to solve the problem, they come later when the conscious mind is distracted. Go for a walk. Do something to distract yourself. You can?t be listening to a podcast, listening to an audiobook etc - you can?t be distracted in any way. You have to get inside your own head and let data meander and collide until you see a novel solution.?Most people tip toe through life trying to make it safely to death."What if life could be more of a thrill ride? Keys to creating life changing epiphaniesHomework: As soon as you finish listening to this podcast, go lie down in a quiet place with no distraction. No TV, no radio, no phone, no one talking. Be alone with your thoughts for ten or fifteen minutes and free associate, think about anything.


2019-01-24
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Simple Career Advice To Get Your Dream Job and Thrive in Any Industry with Alex Grodnik

In this episode we discuss how to break into careers in tough industries, the skills it takes to succeed in difficult circumstances, how to deal with the difficulty of constant rejection, how to build the ?muscle? of determination, a hack for switching your thinking that can make it much easier to face challenging situations and rejection and much more with our guest Alex Grodnik. 
Alex Grodnik is the COO at the fin-tech startup Payclub. Alex holds a finance degree from UCLA Anderson and has spent the past 9 years in investment banking, digital media, business development, and more. He is the host of the ?Moving Up? podcast by Wall Street Oasis where he interviews business leaders to learn and share their secrets to success and life.What does it take to get a job at one of the toughest industries in the world From sending out hundreds of resumes amidst the financial crisis - what does it take to really succeed in finding the career you desire?Always be moving the ball forward - leverage any possible way you can to get into the door Be dogged, be determined, don?t take no for an answerUnique outcomes, huge life changing moments, don?t come from your first trial or your first failure How do you deal with the challenges of constant rejection?It?s all about practice and getting reps - getting reps getting rejected and building that muscle of determination Every no gets you one step closer to a yes If you?re afraid of something, exposing yourself to it will actually lessen that fear What?s the conversation rate of the activity you?re working on? It?s probably not 100% - Its probably really close to 5% or 10% Everyone is so caught up in themselves that they aren?t paying attention to you You have to expose yourself to discomfort to become stronger and to become anti-fragile Evolutionarily we?re programed to be risk averse - and yet the risks today are so much lower than they were thousands of years ago - and yet we constantly stay within what?s comfortable to us The benefits of being rejected - Confidence, Humility, Seeing the world in a positive light The goal is to reduce the fear of rejection by constantly exposing yourself to it The risk reward of rejection is massively in favor of getting rejected Homework: Start small and get rejected now
2019-01-17
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The Simple 20 Minute Exercise That Rewires Your Brain For Happiness with Dr. Dan Siegel

In this episode we look at how to live a healthy, happy, successful life - from the inside out. We explore what it means to have an ?integrated? brain, look at lessons across vastly different scientific disciplines, and share the accessible, simple strategy you can use in 20 minutes to integrate the most important learnings from scientific research to create an integrated brain, body, and mind - to improve your health, happiness, wellbeing and success with our guest Dr. Dan Siegel. 
Dr. Dan Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. He is a multi-best-selling author and award-winning educator and a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. His work has taken him across the globe to work with individuals such as the King of Thailand, Pope John Paul II, and The Dalai Lama.What is integration? What does it mean to live a fully connected life?Different parts can be honored for their differences and then linked and connected and allowed to communicate with one anotherThe linking of different integrated parts - is the fundamental way a complex system optimizes functioning - the way it ?self organizes? An optimally integrated organism or organization is in a state of harmony, a state of flow, a state of healthA healthy life, a successful life, a happy life comes from being integratedThe opposite of integration is either Chaos or Rigidity Dan comes at the questions of happiness and successful lives from a wholistic integrated perspective across any and all scientific fields  ?interpersonal neurobiology?A healthy mind is both integrated within - inside your body - and integration between - integration between other people and the planet Information.. IN FORMATION - information is just energy in a certain configuration that gives it context and meaning - information is meaning embedded via energy patterns How is the MIND part of the system of energy and information flow in reality and the world as a whole??Emergence? - the essence of a complex system is that it interacts with itself and self organizes 3 Pillar Training - how to integrate the brain to be healthier and happier - how to live in harmony instead of chaos Do you feel like you belong? Does our society today foster a sense of belonging? This powerful story about a sense of belonging ties into the science of the mind and the brain - the ?embodied brain? and the ?relational? mind What is the self? What is the mind? Does the mind exist, as the source of your self, inside your skin encased body? Is that it?You also have a relational self that is equally as important as your individualized self By cultivating the 3 pillars you develop neuroplastic changes in your brain - changes in the physical structure of your brain - to create meaningful integration for the brain Integration is the basis of wellbeing in your body, mind, and relationships The accessible, simple strategy you can use in 20 minutes to integrate the most important learnings from scientific research to create an integrated brain, body, and mind - to improve your health, happiness, wellbeing and success.Homework: Take the Wheel of Awareness on Dan?s website (linked in the show notes) - most efficient, effective, science based, multi-disciplinary thing you can bring into your life . It?s wholly grounded in science and its accessible for you to do anywhere. 
2019-01-10
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Feeling Stuck? This One Question Will Create The Change You Need with Dr. Bernard Roth

In this episode we show you how to solve any problem in your life - using a simple and no risk tool that you can start with right now. We dig into why you get stuck on problems and how we often deceive ourselves. We talk about why reasons are often a ruse and how they can become dangerous once they turn into excuses, and much more with our guest Dr. Bernard Roth.
Bernard Roth is the co-founder of the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford. He is one of the world?s pioneers in robotics and the primary developer of the concept of the Creativity Workshop. He is the best-selling author of The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life. His work has been featured in FORTUNE, The New York Times, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more!Why do you get stuck in your life?Are you focused on the right problems in your life, or the wrong problems?Reframing problems opens up a tremendous new solution space to your problemEven if you solved the problem that you think you need to solve, it may not get you what you ultimately want to get What would it do for me if I solved this problem? Work on THAT solution instead of the original problem The no-risk tool you can use to solve any problem / reframe any problem The one question that can completely blow apart your thinking and help you solve any problemWe often lie to ourselves, we don?t tell ourselves the truth, you often try to deceive yourself to maintain your self image The importance difference between disappearing a problem vs solving a problem Why you have to get super clear about what you REALLY want to achieve (and how to do it)Tell yourself the truth about the REAL problem and open up the problem-space and solution space for new ways of conceiving of it - so you that you can find new solutions We all do things we aren?t proud of and we all have motivations we don?t want to admit - we have to develop the self awareness to see what the truth about ourselves and our motives areWhy Bernie says "Reasons are Bulls**t? The only function of reasons is that they let you pretend that you are a reasonable person There?s no one cause for anything you do - the moment you isolate that single cause you are lying The way your brain works - you do stuff, and then you make up a reason to do it There are a multitude of reasons for everything - we just single out one and pretend it?s the entire cause We explain the world with a simple cause and effect model - and yet there is not one single cause for anything in the worldReasons are an excuse for being late, not losing weight, not getting your job done, not creating the results you want, etcIf you stop lying to yourself, it becomes easy to change your behavior When saying NO to people, you will get more reception if you don?t give a reason (aka an excuse) Fix yourself first, don?t worry about fixing othersIn your own behavior, substitute the word REASON for the word EXCUSEWhat?s the difference between Trying and Doing? (Was Yoda right?)If you?re trying to do something it might or might not happen. If you?re doing something you will make it happen, no matter what. When people are DOING - obstacles don?t defeat them - they make it happen. Obstacles are often a gift, unless you let them be a deterrent Force often takes a lot more energy than power, when you?re powerful you flow and achieve Knowledge is useless if you don?t apply it Homework: Stop using reasons. Reframe your problems. Ask yourself if you?re doing or trying, and decide which one it is.
2019-01-03
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The Epic Real Life Quest to Interview the World?s Most Successful People with Alex Banayan

Today?s episode is a bit different than a normal episode of Science of Success. We share the incredible "Real Life Story of The Epic Quest To See How The World?s Most Successful People Launched Their Careers? - including a wild journey of hacking the Price is Right, meeting Bill Gates and Lady Gaga, and an epic five year quest to study and learn form the world?s top achievers. This is a topic I?ve dedicated my life to and this fascinating discussion with our guest Alex Banayan shines some new light on one of the most important questions of our lives - what was the inflection point that set massively successful people?s lives on a different trajectory?

Alex Banayan is the best-selling author of The Third Door, which chronicles his five-year quest to track down the world?s most successful people to uncover how they broke through and launched their careers. He has been named to Forbes? ?30 Under 30? list and Business Insider?s ?Most Powerful People Under 30.? He has been featured in major media including Fortune, Forbes, Businessweek, Billboard, Bloomberg TV, CNBC, Fox News, MSNBC, and much more!My passion has been studying the worlds top achievers - Alex took that to another level Alex?s seven year journey becoming obsessed with studying the world?s most successful people Do you know what do you want to do with your life? Are you on the right path?How did Bill Gates, Stephen Speilberg etc achieve epic results so early in their lives?When no one would talk to the world?s most successful people early in their careers - how did they break through?The ridiculous story of ?hacking? the Price is Right?The Flinch? - when you become so nervous that you don?t do anythingBreakfast with Larry King The common strategy shared by the worlds top achieversThe world?s top achievers all treat success the exact same way The Power of the Third Door Framework Most people think success is either a function of waiting your turn or being born into it The reason most people never achieve their dream is not because the dream is unachievable but because of their fear stops them from going after their dreamsTop achievers don?t achieve fearlessness, instead they achieve courage Fearlessness is jumping off a cliff without thinking about it, courage is acknowledging your fears, looking at the consequences, and then deciding you care so much about it you?re going to take one step forward anywayFor the world?s most successful people there wasn?t one big single tipping point in their lives - it was a series of incremental small steps that compounded over time When you?re in the trenches building your dream there is no tipping point - it?s all just little steps Everyone tries to over-optimize and wait for things to be perfect. If things are 80% there it?s up to you to jump and close that gap. The founder of TED live?s his life by two mantras:If you don?t ask you don?t getMost things don?t work out The Power of Possibility transforms people much more than giving them the tools and resources to succeed Homework: If you?re looking to find your path, looking to find your passion - Take the ?30 Day Challenge.? Buy a notebook, write ?30 day challenge? on the front. Every day for the next 30 days you have to journal about the same 3 questions. It has to be 30 consecutive days, it can?t be spread out over several months. Pick the same time of day and consistently do it:What excited me today? What filled me with enthusiasm?What drained me of energy today? What did I learn about myself today?The magic happens on the last few days 
2018-12-27
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Why It?s So Hard To Follow Through On Your Goals with Dr. Sean Young

In this episode we ask - why you don?t follow through on the things that are most important to you? How can someone facing down near death fail to follow essential health protocols? What causes people to self sabotage? Why is it so hard to follow up and follow through with your goals? We share the important lesson that it?s not about more information - it?s about finding the right pattern of behaviors and habits to match with your desired goal - and building a scientifically validated process to make sure you actually achieve them. We discuss this and much more with our guest Dr. Sean Young.
Dr. Sean Young is the Executive Director of the University of California Institute for Prediction Technology. He has previously worked with companies such as NASA and has spoken in forums such as the European Parliament. He is the author of the #1 Wall Street Journal Best-Seller Stick With It: A Scientifically Proven Process for Changing Your Life - For Good and his work has been featured across the globe.When we fail to create personal change, is it a question of lack of willpower?Why don?t we follow through on the things that matter most to us?It?s not about changing the person, its about changing the process What is the science behind sticking with your goals?It?s almost never a question of having enough information - smokers KNOW smoking is bad, and yet they keep doing it, people KNOW how to lose weight, but they don?t ?A, B, C Behaviors"Automatic BehaviorsBurning BehaviorsCommon Behaviors Not all behaviors are created equal - and not all habits solve certain kinds of behaviors Automatic behaviors happen without conscious thoughtBurning behaviors - things like addictions, ?having to do something? having to play video games, having to check your phone, having to text someone, etc. Common behaviors - we are aware of what we?re doing - but we often can?t stick with it because other things come up The 7 Forces of Behavior Change - well documented psychology research The ?SCIENCE? Framework - each letter represents a different one of these 7 tools you can use to create behavior changeStep LaddersCommunityImportantEasyNeurohacksCaptivatingEngrained We have to create behavioral and habit change in small incremental stepsThe ?steps, goals, and dreams? framework that helps quantify and looks at how to differentiate between steps, goals and dreamsA dream is something that takes more than 3 months A goal takes between 1 and 3 monthsA step takes a week or lessMake change easier for yourself - remove barriers to the behaviors you want to foster and create barriers towards the things you don?t want to do Joe Colombe and the story of building a business around making it easy for consumers What are ?Neurohacks? and how can we use them to switch our behavior over time?If you want to create change it doesn?t start with the mind, it starts with the behavior first, and then your mind will follow Rewards sometimes work, but they need to be the right ones. The rewards you use have to be the most captivating First, figure out what kind of behavior it is. Then, determine the right Force of Behavior Change to use on that particular favor. Most powerful Tool for each behavior type?Homework:Step One: What Kind of Behavior Are You Trying to Change?Step Two: Put together a calendar, and take small action steps towards the goals you want to achieve. 
2018-12-20
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Command Your Focus and Attention on What Really Matters with Chris Bailey

In this episode we show you how to command your focus and attention. We discuss why many people have the wrong idea of what it means to be productive - and how thinking that you need to boil your life down to spreadsheets and checklists is the wrong way to approach productivity . We share the secret ingredient for true productivity - and look at exactly how you can implement it, practically and realistically, in your own life with our guest Chris Bailey.
Chris is a productivity expert, speaker, and best-selling author. His career began by conducting a year-long experiment examining best practices for productivity which is documented in his book, The Productivity Project. His latest book Hyperfocus aims to help readers stay focused and avoid distractions. His work has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, TED, Fast Company, and more!Many people have the wrong idea of what productivity is - and it often leads to implementing the wrong solutions It?s not about efficiency and boiling your life down to checklists and spreadsheetsIf there?s one thing that underlies real productivity is INTENTION We are perfectly productive when we accomplish the things we set out to doIntention is like the ?wood behind the arrow"The percentage of the day with which you act with intention is directly proportional to your results and to the quality of your life How much control of attention you have is correlated with happiness, satisfaction, and productivity What is intentionality and why is it so important?Most people manage their time relatively well, but where they massively fall short is managing their ATTENTIONThe novelty bias in our brains causes us to constantly jump into new phenomenon to get our next dopamine hitDeliberate mind wandering is as important as the time we focus on being productive?Not all those who wander are lost? - J. R. R. TolkeinCultivating ?unfocus?, mind wandering, and contemplative routines open up space to focus on and determine what?s most important - to unearth the beautiful, brilliant ideas we wouldn?t arrive at otherwiseResearchers found that people who watched 6 or more hours of news coverage about a bombing were more likely to develop PTSD than someone who was actually at the bombing event (Boston Marathon) How do you go about taming your distractions?Does meditation waste time or does it make you more productive?Meditation is one of the few things that gives you more attention and focus for other thingsWhen you have an active meditation practice your working memory increases by up to 30% If you don?t execute on productivity ideas and strategies - what?s the point?Meditation has the best time-adjusted return of any productivity strategy We look at busyness as a proxy for how productive we are when that?s completely wrong. Working on a sleep deficit shrinks your ability to focus by up to 60% There?s a huge amount of guilt, especially in western society, around taking breaks, resting, and downtime - even though these are HUGE components of being highly effective and productive How do you deal with the GUILT of not feeling productive?Set 3 intentions every day, set 3 intentions every week, and set 3 intentions every year Pre-Decisions create intention throughout your day How do you Re-Charge your attention?Habitual tasks create the structure that frees our mind to think freely and wander Homework: What resonated the most for YOU - take action on that?
2018-12-13
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Are You Ready To Spend More Time On What You LOVE? A Conversation with Gay Hendricks

In this episode we explore how to unleash and live in your genius. How do you discover what your genius is? How can you spend more and more of your time doing what you love? We discuss how you can unlock the incredible potential within yourself and avoid the traps that may stop you from getting there. We share the lessons learned from working with more than 20,000 people to help them on their own journeys to genius - and give you the exact strategies and tactics to create a positive upward spiral of genius for yourself with our guest Dr. Gay Hendricks.
Dr. Gay Hendricks is the president of the Hendricks Institute and has been a thought leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body-mind therapies for over 45 years. Gay earned his Ph.D in counseling psychology from Stanford and taught at the University of Colorado for 21 years and has conducted seminars across the globe. He is also a multi-bestselling author, having written more than 40 books most recently The Joy of Genius which was released earlier this year!The 2 big issues that human beings faceUpper limit problems Living in your genius People get used to operating at a certain level of success, happiness, etc - we often trip these fears that cause us to sabotage back to the levels we feel we deserveLessons from working with over 20,000 people and 5000 couples Almost everyone, no matter how successful you are, has a lot of potential left to be developed You need to make a commitment to bringing forth your genius. You have absolutely no idea how much potential you have left inside of yourself. It doesn?t matter how bright you are - it?s about making an inner commitment to bringing your genius out. That inner commitment is the first starting place. How Gay went from spending 10% of his life doing what he loves - it took him years to get to 30%, years more to get to 50% - until 20 years later he spends 90% of his time doing what he loves The first thing you need to do is find out if you?re courageous enough to make a heart felt commitment to living in your zone of genius Simple Mantra - ?I Commit To Bringing Forth My Genius No Matter What It Takes"You must find 10 minutes per day committed to finding your geniusGenius is addictive and its contagious - the more you do it, the more you want to do it , the more you inspire people with your genius, the more people who get inspired What is the genius Move? How can you do it everyday?What?s a Genius Moment? We are confronted with them every day. A genius moment may look like a problem at the surface, but it?s often actually an invitation to spot your genius There are some things you can control, and some things you cannot control What often makes miserable is focusing on things that we don?t have control over whatsoever None of us have any control whatsoever over the past - the only reason to think about the past is to identify something in this moment that you can do differently True creativity is when you?re expressing your own genius - and when you?re doing it in a way that is inspiring others around you?All of humanities problems stem from not being able to sit quietly in a room? - Blaise PascalHomework: Sit for 10 minutes quietly living with the question of ?What is my genius?"If you already know what your genius is - ask yourself ? How can I bring forth my genius in a way that inspires me and other people I interact with?"How and why you can use ?Wonder questions? to discover your life?s purpose 
2018-12-06
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Stop Being Afraid To Be YOU - The Power of Bold Authenticity with Dr. Aziz Gazipura

In this episode, we explore how you can confidently be yourself - even if you?re afraid of what other people may do or think. We discuss how our obsession with niceness and people pleasing is often a problem and share specific tools you can use to overcome it. We also talk about the power and importance of saying no - and the right way to do it so that you can move away from approval seeking and step into bold authenticity with our guest Dr. Aziz Gazipura. 
Dr. Aziz Gazipura is a clinical psychologist and founder of The Center for Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping others break through their shyness and social anxiety. He is the author of the #1 Amazon best-seller Not Nice: Stop People-Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself. Aziz?s work has helped thousands of people through workshops, coaching, media appearances, and more.Do you struggle with people pleasing and being afraid to say no to people?What?s the difference between being nice and behind kind?A lot of the behaviors that we think are nice often come from fear, obligation, or guilt The opposite of niceness is BOLD AUTHENTICITYNiceness is a way of being that is focused on ?damage control?- being in a place of ?safety mode? When we are focused on being nice our #1 priority is to focus on avoiding possible danger - making sure everyone is pleased If you didn?t care at all what people thought of you - would couldn?t have any relationships - you would be a sociopath?Nice conditioning? - is a pattern that is conditioned into us from an early age. We?re systemically told not to trust our own desires and to instead ?do the right thing? and ?be nice? Why we?ve lost the ability to ask ?what do I want? and how that is dangerousWhy you should be more selfishExcessive niceness is not benign - it?s coming from a place of fear, insecurity, and feeling threatened - and when you?re constantly in that space you are much more likely to experience symptoms of stress, anxiety, sickness, pain and more - TMS - Tension Mytosis Syndrome - from living in  place of chronic stress First become AWARE that it?s OK to say no and that we need to say noTo retrain from niceness to authenticity - it?s about being uncomfortable and discomfort training You live in a cloud of stories and dramatic fantasies about what will happen when you say no - TEST THE ASSUMPTION and see what happens. Why you should do a ?social fitness? ?warm up? to get out of your comfort zone. Friendly greetings to strangers is a great strategy for this. It?s like launching into orbit - after a few tries, you reach a breaking point where you ?pop? into zero gravity and you?re no longer being held back. Niceness is not serving you, it?s not who you are, it?s a safety pattern.This is how you STOP BEING AFRAID TO BE YOUFind 2 opportunities per week to specifically ask for what you want. Then build that muscle, start asking for things that are edgier and edgier and edgier for you. Homework: Make a fundamental decision that you don?t want to be as nice anymore. Write out a short paragraph about why it?s no longer serving you to be the nice and that you are going to do something different. Homework: Pick one thing - what?s the one thing that will be the easiest for you to do that would benefit you and change your life the most?
2018-11-29
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You?ve Been Learning All Wrong - Making Knowledge Stick with Peter Brown

In this episode we discuss a highly counter-intuitive approach to learning that flies in the face of the way you think you should learn and how it might transform your learning process. We explore several powerful, evidence based learning strategies that you can start to apply right now in your life, we explain why you should focus on getting knowledge out of your brain instead of into it (and what, exactly, that means), we share a number of powerful memory strategies you can use to super charge your brain - and much more with our guest Peter Brown.
Peter Brown is a best-selling author and novelist. He is the author of five books including Make It Stick: The Science of Successful Learning. Peter?s work turns traditional learning techniques on their head and draws from recent discoveries in cognitive psychology to offer concrete techniques for becoming a more productive learner. His work has been featured in The New York Times, American Public Radio, The New Yorker, and more!What teaching and learning strategies lead to better retention of material?The non-intuitive approach to learning that flies in the face of the way you think you should learnThe act of wrestling with knowledge and material is what actually builds learning that sticks3 Big ideas from Brian?s research (1) It's about getting the knowledge out of your head, not getting it in(2) When learning is easy it doesn?t stick. You have to challenge yourself.(3) Intuition leads us astray. We think that simple repeated practice makes it easier to learn, but that may not be the case. You can?t rely on learning that feels constructive. How does memory get stored? How can your lack of understanding about this lead to worse learning strategies?The more connections you make to existing knowledge, the more you are likely to remember something The more complex knowledge that you build and develop the more you can develop complex mental models for explaining and understanding realityVisual markers, memory palaces and mnemonic devices can be very powerful memory techniques They are not about learning, but rather ORGANIZING what you?ve already learned The key to learning is to put ideas in your own words, to digest them, play with them, and think about the application of them - not just to review the text or information you?ve already read. The ?forgetting curve? is a mental model that helps interrupt your pattern of forgetting things - and remembering them at just the right time  Mass practice vs mixed practice - and why the feeling of improvement may be misleading your learning efforts Mental effort and persistence towards a learning goal help build deeper memories - literally change the physical structure of your brain and lead to better and richer memories Homework: Look back at your own life and the things that you?ve tackled that were a struggle, and yet you became good at it - use these as examples for how this strategy can work Homework: Read about the science of learning in generalHomework: Create flash card sets or quizzes for things you want to memorize (even if you aren?t a student)  in order to TEST yourself. Practice retrieving information, over and over again. The retrieval is key! Only by doing it can you be confident you know how to do it. Self testing, space it out, and come back later to do it again. 
2018-11-21
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Your Secret to Feeling Powerful In Life's Toughest Moments with Dr Amy Cuddy

In this episode we discuss the incredibly important thing that everyone (including you!) get?s wrong about presence, we explore how to prime yourself for the best performance in moments of pressure and high stakes situations where other people are watching and judging you. We look at the results from thousands of experiments over the last few decades to uncover the fascinating truth about power and powerlessness. And we share the exact strategy you can use to shift your brain into the mode that allows you to view the world as more friendly, help you feel more creative, and make you into someone who takes action. We dig deep into all this and much more with our guest Dr. Amy Cuddy.  
Dr. Amy Cuddy is an American social psychologist, author, and speaker. She currently lectures on the psychology of leadership and influence at Harvard University and she and her work have won several awards including being named one of ?50 Women Who Are Changing The World? by Business Insider. She is the author of the 2015 best-selling book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges and her 2012 TED talk is the second most viewed talk of all time. Her work has been featured in TIME, Wired, Fast Company, NPR, and countless academic journals.

The incredibly important thing that everyone (including you!) get?s wrong about Presence Presence is a momentary state - its when you are attuned to and able to comfortably express your authentic best selfWhat is does it mean to be your ?authentic best self?"Presence is about moments of pressure that come from human interaction - people judging us, high stakes situations throwing us off our games When you are present you become aligned, you become synchronous, you aren?t getting in the WAY of yourself you?re BEING yourself - you believe your story and people hear, feel, and see that in your verbal and nonverbal communication The people who do the best on Shark Tank are the ones who clearly buy what they are selling - there is no reservation, you can hear their belief and their conviction When you?re in a place of feeling Powerful - you see the world as more friendly, you?re more creative, you?re more likely to take action - you view the world from the ?approach? systemThe vital difference between what Amy calls PERSONAL POWER and what many people?s traditional understanding of POWER might be.Make peace with the idea of Power - its OK to feel powerful. Power is not just power over others or power over resources - its about feeling that you control your own resources, your own destiny, your own life.You want to feel powerful - you want other people to feel powerful - power is a HUGE piece of your general wellbeing. As you start to feel less powerful, as you start to feel less control, you begin to flip into the ?Inhibition System? Focus on feelings of expansiveness and try to prepare yourself before getting in high-pressure situations Often times ?Mind-Body? Interventions are MUCH more effective, especially when we?re anxious, than ?Mind-Mind? InterventionsIf the body is acting like it?s not being threatened, the mind will often follow into the same pattern How does Imposter Syndrome play into feelings of powerlessness? Homework: Before you go into a stressful situation - prepare by using expansive postures, in private, have good posture, carry yourself with a sense of pride, mind your posture. Notice when you slouch and make yourself small. Homework: Change how you?re holding your phone - sit back and hold your phone up over youHomework: Pay attention to other?s posture. Presence invites presence from others. 
2018-11-15
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How You Can Be More Confident In Tough Situations, Conflicts, and Negotiations with Kwame Christian

Do you feel uncomfortable in conflict with others? Do you experience fear and anxiety when dealing with tough situations? Most negotiation tactics and strategies assume you?re already a master negotiator with nerves of steel - that?s the wrong starting place. In this episode we discuss how you can get comfortable with having tough conversations and build the foundation to become a real master of negotiation - using a simple and easy to apply framework. We discuss how you can deal with tough situations and conflict from a place of poise, curiosity, and confidence with our guest Kwame Christian.
Kwame Christian is a business lawyer and the Director of the American Negotiation Institute where he puts on workshops designed to make difficult conversations easier. As an attorney and mediator with a bachelors of arts in Psychology, a Master of Public Policy, as well as a law degree, Kwame brings a unique multidisciplinary approach to the topic of conflict management and negotiation. He also hosts the top negotiation podcast in the country, Negotiate Anything.Should we hide from conflict or should we seek it out and embrace it?Avoiding conflict is human, but it?s not healthyPowerful tactics and strategies don?t matter if you?re unable or unwilling to enter conflicting situations in the first place When people are afraid - their limbic system lights up and their prefrontal cortex is less active - your rational decision-making shuts down and you react more emotionally Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - an action oriented approach to pushing past phobias, fears, anxieties and moreRejection Therapy & exposure therapy - how to build the skillset of mental toughness By forcing yourself into difficult and tough situations - your brain actually changes (via neuroplasticity) and it gets easier over time How do you negotiate with someone and move them out of a negative place / negative emotional state so that you can help get what you want out of a tough situation?3 Step FrameworkStep one is to Acknowledge EmotionsGet Curious with Compassionate CuriosityEngage in Joint Problem Solving / Collaborative Negotiation How do you use the tool of ?Acknowledging Emotions"Put it on YOURSELF, not on you ?If I was in this situation, I would feel X (frustrated, etc)"Tell me more about what you?re experiencing?The goal is to help them get it out of their system?Then transition to "compassionate curiosity"How can we help you feel more secure?How can we help you solve this problem / situation?Often times people?s emotions will be hidden under a veil of professionalism - exploring the emotional side first helps to defuse themWhen exploring emotional issues - use the past tenseThe power of joint problem solving and joint brainstorming to develop a collaborative approach to solving problems The ?copy machine? experimentFalse Belief Negotiations is a zero sum game.There is a difference between conflict and combat. Conflict is an opportunity to solve problems and learn more, there is a big difference. Negotiation isn?t the art of deal making, it?s the art of deal discovery 3 Pillars of NegotiationGet more of what we wantGet less of what we don?t wantStrengthen relationships Even if you don?t get a deal, there is still value to be achieved from a negotiationHomework: Take action - don?t avoid conflict, look at it as something to approach and use it as a Tool to strengthen your skills - find and seek out small conflicts
2018-11-08
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How You Can Overcome Procrastination and People Pleasing with Dr. Taylor Newendorp

In this episode we discuss how to deal with never feeling like you?re ?enough,? show you how to overcome the insidious trap of "people pleasing,? look at the most effective treatments for OCD, panic attacks, anxiety and stress, discover the dangers of ?toxic perfectionism? and how it might be holding you back, tell you why ?should? is a dangerous word, and much more with our guest Taylor Newendorp. 

Taylor Newendorp is the founder and president of Chicago Counseling Center and specializes in the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Perfectionism, and Anxiety Disorders. He was worked as a practicing therapist for many years and completed the International OCD Foundation's Behavioral Therapy Training Institute Taylor is the author of The Perfectionism Workbook: Proven Strategies to Break Free from Perfectionism and Achieve Your Goals.What is the myth of perfection and how does it impact your life?You are more likely to grow, thrive, and succeed once you acknowledge and accept your weaknessesThe Five Tendencies of Toxic PerfectionismWhat is the root cause behind the ?people pleasing? tendency? Perfectionism can often be genetically pre-disposed if your family has a history of OCD or anxietyPeople pleasing is rooted in the idea that for you to be loved you have to achieve and be successfulHow much of what you?re doing is is because you WANT to or because you feel like you HAVE TO in order to have other people like you?What activities are you doing that you do solely for the approval of others? Would you do them for their own sake?Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset and how that impacts perfectionist tendencies Do you feel a feeling of discontent? No matter what you do, no matter what you achieve, do you feel like it?s never enough? Do you keep pushing yourself harder and harder causing stress and anxiety for yourself?How do you deal with self criticism and negative self talk?What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and how does it work?Exposure and response prevention is a highly effective solution to OCD, panic attacks, anxiety disorders, etc Learn and familiarize yourself with the cognitive distortions that are out there and see how they are playing out in your head Understand the connection between thoughts and feelings and how that might be influencing how you?re behavingOne question you can use to challenge your negative thoughts - if you had to stand up in a court of law and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this thought is 100% true would it hold up? When you feel something uncomfortable - avoidance and distraction are the two most common strategies for avoiding discomfortThe more you avoid something the more you increase your anxiety around that fear. The fear grows larger and larger in your brain. The more you face and spend time with your fears, your anxiety dissipates. Dig into and understand the triggers that make you uncomfortable and continually face them to build tolerance and resistance to them Exposure and response therapy creates new neural pathways that reduce anxiety over timeWhat is the relationship between perfectionism and OCD?A lot of people with OCD engage in compulsive behaviors to get a sense that things feel ?just right"You should make your goals specific, measurable, and meaningful Mindfulness at its core is about observing yourself, observing others, without attaching judgement to it
2018-11-01
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Create Epic Breakthroughs By Blasting Away Your Biases & Assumptions with Dr. Beau Lotto

In this episode we discuss the surprising science of creativity. We begin with a fascinating look into how your brain create reality around you and assigns meaning to things that often have no meaning at all, then we examine the unlikely relationship between doubt, ambiguity, and creativity. We ask how you can chip away at your assumptions so that you can open spaces of possibility to be more creative, we explore the foundations of asking truly good questions, and examine the way that doubt can be a powerful force for unleashing creative insights and more with our guest Dr. Beau Lotto. 
Dr. Beau Lotto is neuroscientist, author, and the founder of the Lab of Misfits. His studies in the science of human perception have led him to work in several fields including education, the arts, business, and more. Beau has given multiple TED talks, has spoken to companies such as Google, and his work has been featured on the BBC, PBS, Natural Geographic, Big Think, and much more!Do we see reality as it really is? Do we see the world as it really is?We have no direct access to the world except through our senses Raw data from the senses is all the information the brain gets Data by itself is pointless - any piece of data could mean literally anythingYou can conflate so many different things from your senses The brain relies on history - on context - to interpret all the information it collects - the history of your life, your culture, your evolution, your family, and much moreYour brain has effectively encoded biases and assumptions that filter and shape your perception of reality We didn?t evolve to see the world accurately, we evolved to see it usefully - evolution didn?t optimize for accuracy, it evolved for utility Because of this conclusion we can constantly update and adapt our perceptionsYour brain does not create meaning by passively receiving content - it makes meaning by physically engaging with the world We think of creativity as putting two things that are far apart together - of a eureka moment or moment of insight - for YOU these ideas are far apart - the creative person is making the next logical step of assumption Creative people are making small steps to the next most likely possible. The key to creativity is to CHANGE what?s possible and change your perceptions and assumptions of what?s possibleNothing interesting begins with knowing - it begins with not knowing, it begins with doubt, it begins with a questionThe need for closure, the need for certainty is so strong that we constantly need closure Awe and wonder are also key skills to embracing uncertainty. When you experience awe and wonder you feel connected to the world, you feel curiousFind out what you care about, have the desire to shift/move/change, and ask the right question - then engage other peopleHow do we celebrate doubt? How do we chip away at our assumptions so that we can open spaces of possibility to be more creative?A KEY to asking good questions is to Doubt what you assume to be true alreadyHomework: Take ownership of your own biases and assumptions. Engage in a person you care about with a question of your assumptions next time you have a conflictHomework: Go from A to ?Not-A? - Let go of reflexive meanings. Take a cold shower and feel the cold water, don?t attach the significant of uncomfortableness - just feel the coldness as neutral.Homework: Change the meaning of what?s happened in the past (which will change your assumptions and perceptions). The brain is a time machine - we can never change what happened, but we can change the MEANING of what happened. You can change history of your past meanings. That?s what therapy does. 
2018-10-25
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The Hidden Brain Science That Will Unlock Your True Potential with Daniel Coyle

In this episode, we discuss the science of Talent. We look at how great talent is built into the very physical structure of the brain itself, explore the incredible importance of striving at the edge of your ability and staying there as long as possible, the vital importance of mistakes in the learning process, how a group of kindergartners beat a bunch of CEOs at a simple team-building exercise, a powerful tool Navy Seals use to make better decisions that you can apply to your life right now, and much more with our guest Daniel Coyle. 
Daniel Coyle is the New York Times Bestselling Author of The Talent Code, The Culture Code, several other books. He is a contributing editor for Outside Magazine and works as a special advisor to the Cleveland Indians. His most recent work focuses on how we can build cultures that last and high highly productive and his work has been featured on the TED stage and more.What is a talent hotbed? What are these little places that produce hugely disproportionate high achievers?How does the brain learn and what that has to do with Talent?What does great practice look like, what does great motivation look like,  what great coaching looks like?Repeatedly going to the edge of your ability, noticing your failure, and learning from it - that?s how great performance is builtIt?s not nature vs nature - it's not either or - its nature multiplied by nature How do we learn at the edge of our growth zone?You should be aiming for a failure rate of 20-30% of the timeIf you?re failing more than that, move the target closerIf you?re failing less, move the targets further away This concept of learning at the edge of your comfort zone flips the entire idea of mistakes on its head - mistakes are WHERE the learning takes place Mistakes are information that you can use for your next try - they?re a keep component of the learning process Mistakes are the gift - they ARE the moment - when the learning is embedded in your brainThe way to create feedback loops in business and areas with murky or long feedback loops is to define your scoreboard - define yourself against a very clear standard or dashboard for yourself - hold yourself accountable to metricsDefine what you want - make the bar really clearLearning = Experience + Reflection. Without the reflection, you won?t learn. Get really specific on what skills you want to improve - and then build a process towards improving those skills and make it as measurable as possibleCulture is the MOST IMPORTANT THING you do in a group - it's your most important asset, it's your Achilles heel High-performance groups operationalize truth, vulnerability, and safety Navy Seals ?AAR? - After Action Review - hard conversation about what went wrong, what went right, what they?re doing to do differently next time Groups that hide vulnerability are weakLeaders who are constantly radiating humility have more strength - humility takes strength To be vulnerable at work - frame your vulnerability around learningWe have a powerful instinct to hide away from negative moments and things we don?t like - and yet leaning into mistakes and problems is the best way to grow as an individual - and the best way to form strong organizations Homework: ?WSD? - Write s**t down. Have a place and a time every day where you can get away from things and reflect on what happened. A cool calm place where you can reflect, trace threads, connect dots, reflect on your performance. This is the most powerful thing you can do.
2018-10-18
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These Habits Will Help You Crush Procrastination & Overwhelm with James Clear

In this episode, we discuss the foundations of evidence based thinking, the important balance between Habits and Decisions and how each of them shapes who you ultimately become and dig into the idea that your decisions set the trajectory of your life, but your habits determine how far you walk on that journey, from there we explore how to build high impact habits, what you need to do to determine the best habits to focus on first, how you can harness the the power of the ?aggregation of marginal gains,? and much more with our guest James Clear.
James Clear is an american author, entrepreneur, and photographer. His personal blog, jamesclear.com has over 400,000 email subscribers and his first book Atomic Habits is set to release in October this year. His work focuses primarily on habits and human potential looking to answer the question ?How can we live better?? by focusing on science-backed methods. James?s work has been featured in The New York Times, CBS, Forbes, and more.There?s no real playbook, everyone is operating on their best guess and trying to do their best with limited informationScience and scientific research are the best tools we have for determining what the ?Best guess? would be for improvementScience is still a guess, but its the best method we have to guide our actions and is much better than anecdote or opinion You are not the average - you have to adopt this philosophy of self experimentation to determine what works for youIt?s very hard to step outside of your own experience - but that experiment may not always be the best predictor or provider of informationYou could live a billion lives - its up to you to decide and determine which single version of YOU actually gets lived Your decisions set your trajectory and your habits determine how far you walkDecision making creates leverage, habits capture itIt?s always the process that leads to the outcomes. Focus on the process. And build a system so that process happens every dayTrue behavior change is identity change. Once you change your identity it doesn?t feel like work anymore. It?s NEVER the first mistake that ruins you - its the spiral of mistakes that follows it. Get back on track. A ?craving? is a desire to change your state? to some small degreeMotivation is something that rises and falls arbitrarily - don?t rely on motivation to force yourself to adopt new habitsIt can be dangerous to ?start too big? with new habits The true impact of habits is far greater than we realize - little habits are like an entrance ramp to a highway - the determine what we end up doing for minutes or even hours afterwardsFocus on mastering a few decisive moments that end up shaping how you spend your time - and make those moments as easy as possible.Find people who?ve achieved what you want to achieve - but also have SOME commonality with you nowHomework: downscale your habits until they can fit within 2 minutes (make sure your habits are small enough)Read one page in a bookMake the decisive moment as easy as possible Homework: reduce friction so that doing that behavior is as easy as possible. Start with environment designIncrease friction for bad behaviorsReduce friction for good behaviors
2018-10-11
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Double Your Productivity and Focus on What Matters with Marc Effron

In this episode we discuss how to become a high performer at work. We look at one simple question you can use to double your productivity, we talk about how to decipher scientific evidence and determine what?s really important to focus on for maximum performance, we examine how to get quality feedback on your work, share strategies for creating high performance habits and behaviors, and uncover what it takes to quickly improve your performance with our guest Marc Effron.
Marc Effron is the founder and president of the Talent Strategy Group and publisher of the Talent Quarterly Magazine. He is a Harvard Business Press best-selling author and just released his latest book 8 Steps To High Performance. He has been recognized as one of the Top 100 Influencers in H.R. and he has worked and consulted with some of the largest companies in the country.We have so much science that tell us many of the right things to do - and yet its often so hard to discern signal from noise People like writing about individual topics - but often don?t combine them all into one cohesive view of reality as a whole?The Three Tiers of Proof? Bottom tier ?Research" - a consulting firm does a study and comes out with a report - not peer reviewed, not validated, not controlled - but still may have some valueNext step up - "Science" - someone has published an article in a peer reviewed journal The best - "Conclusive Science" - 100 people do the experiment and all come to the exact same conclusion If you want to get better you?re much better off asking others for feedback than just looking at yourselfWhat?s your disciplined approach for gathering feedback from others about what makes you so successful?How do we gather quality feedback?Source of opinions and quality of opinion are not equal. Find your high performing peersFind your high performing people at your bosses level that you would like feedback fromIf you?re a solo entrepreneur your customers or investors are probably the best people to askCan we set goals that are too big and too ambitious? How do we strike that balance?Ask yourself - is your big goal too disengaging? Could it be harmful to the organization?Given where my company is - what needs to happen for me to be the most high performance I can be? What are the few behaviors that matter the most for performance right now?Three ?buckets? of behaviors that cause us to derail:?Moving away? behaviors - behaviors that cause you to put distance between you and other people. Passive aggression, shyness, etc. ?Moving against? behaviors - putting you into other people?s space and make them want to spend less time with you?Moving towards? behaviors - suck up behavior, managing up and the people below you don?t like itThere are many fixed traits of your life, background, abilities etc that you can?t change - focus on what you can change It?s the experience we have that grow us fastest - the most big, challenging, scary, risky experiences you have the faster you?re going to learn. It?s easy to get comfortable, but comfort is the enemy of growthWe often exaggerate the downside and underestimate the upsideHomework: Action begins with an assessment of where we are today - how do you compare against the 8 step framework - then determine what your ONE key priority going forward should be Homework: Ask your boss: I want to deliver 2x next year - what?s the ONE thing I could do differently to deliver more on that goal?
2018-10-04
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The Shocking Counter-Intuitive Science Behind The Truth of Positive Thinking with Dr. Gabriele Oettingen

In this episode we discuss the shocking truth about the dangers of positive thinking. Is it always good to visualize your goals? Could there be potential downsides to daydreams and fantasies about the future? How can we identify what stands in the way of our goals and take concrete action to get there? We look at these questions and much more, along with a proven evidence-based methodology for creating effective behavior change - to actually achieve what you want - with our guest Dr. Gabriele Oettingen
Dr. Gabriele Oettingen is a Professor of Psychology at New York University and the University of Hamburg. She is the creator of the WOOP process and author of the book Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside The New Science of Motivation. Her work has been featured in The Harvard Business Review, NPR?s Hidden Brain, and much more!Positive thinking must be positive, right?The shocking and counter-intuitive science behind the truth about positive thinkingPositive fantasies and daydreams about the future can be very helpful when we think about improving our mood - but when it comes to actually executing and creating results, positive fantasies can have a serious negative impact on our behavior and our resultsStudies show that inducing positive fantasies about the future causes a drop in energy and motivationPositive fantasies and daydreams sap our energy for moving towards our goalsMental Contrasting of the Positive Future and the Inner Obstacles of Reality standing in the way of that positive futureMental contrasting helps you prioritize your goals and figure out the right ones to pursue The myth of ?positive thinking? and ?being optimistic? is very seductive - but it can be dangerous and misleadingMost of our wishes are more challenging, difficult, and complicated than we think they areSheer positive visualization won?t help you get to your goals, and may be harming you and making it less likely for you to achieve your goals Positive visualization creates a measurable physical change in your body that makes you less likely to the action and create results The idea that you have an obstacle in the way will stir up the energy necessary to overcome your obstaclesThinking about your obstacles will produce strategies that will help you overcome your obstaclesThe Conscious Exercise of Mental Contrasting triggers nonconscius processes and the conscious processes do the workThe work of Mental Contrasting builds associative links to the subconscious that produces the behavior change necessary to achieve your goalsThe combination of Mental Contrasting + Implementation Intentions it the ?WOOP? StrategyWishOutcome (imagine)Obstacle (imagine)Plan (if/then)It only takes 5-10 mins to apply the WOOP methodology - 5-10 mins of concentrated focusSlowUninterruptedFocusedBy yourselfWOOP builds the subconscious framework that creates the behaviors that result in actionWOOP is a skill you can learn and its different because it draws on automatic subconscious processes to create behavioral changeWOOP is a discovery tool - dig a little deeper into your wishes - what is it really that stands in the way?Homework: WOOP for yourself (details on woopmylife.org)
2018-09-27
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Creating Nerves of Steel ? The Science of Performing Under Pressure with Dr. Hank Weisinger

In this episode, we go deep on the science of performing under pressure. We look at why some people perform under pressure and others don?t. We discuss the skill of flexibility and ?fluid intelligence,? explore the differences between stress and pressure, look at concrete strategies for managing both in your life, and much more with our guest Dr. Hank Weisinger.
Dr. Hank Weisinger is a psychologist trained in clinical, counseling, school, and organizational psychology. He is the originator of Criticism Training and the emerging field of pressure management. He is the author of several books including his most recent New York Times Best Seller How To Perform Under Pressure and his work has been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, ESPN, NPR, and much more!The work on criticism and anger that Dr. Weisinger comes from deep clinical experience and informs his perspective on emotional intelligenceEmotional intelligence is not a new field - it?s been around for a long time - and yet most people don?t grasp the basic premises of emotional intelligenceWhy advice doesn?t work and what you should do instead of giving people adviceYou can?t criticize someone for something they can?t change - the goal of criticism is to create change - and sometimes people can?t change - sometimes the best way to create change is to change your own behaviorA good key to developing the skill of criticism is how quickly you can recognize the defensiveness of another person and use it as a clue that you?re being ineffective and need to try something elseThe faster your recognize that you?re being ineffective the faster change your behavior and create resultsIf you played your best and lost - don?t feel bad. You only feel bad when you play below your capability. Pressure is a villain in your life. There?s nothing good about it. The function of pressure is to weed people out. What is pressure? You're experiencing pressure in a situation where the (a) the outcome is uncertain and (b) its dependent on your performance. Stress and pressure are two different psychological concepts - you must treat them separately and handle them separately. Stress is about having lots of demands on your time and feeling overwhelmed. There are lots of ways to reduce stress. If you have to perform effectively under pressure 24x7 that's a terrible way to liveEvidence-based strategies for reducing the feelings of pressure during the moment?Pressure anxiety? vs ?performance anxiety? - what?s the difference and why is it important?How people perform under pressure is often about how they perceive the situation - do they perceive it as threatening or do they perceive it as an opportunity?Don?t get over-attached to an outcome and define yourself and your self-esteem by your job performanceHomework: Literally write down your anxiety and you will do better in your pressure moments. Write them down and they will be less likely to surface during the moment of truth.Homework: Affirm your self-worth before a pressure moment with 3 things that have nothing to do with your performance. Homework: Share your feelings of pressure with others. Homework: Anticipate what might go wrong during a pressure moment. 
2018-09-20
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Three Dangerous Ideas That Are Putting Our Society At Risk with Dr. Jonathan Haidt

In this episode we discuss several seemingly good ideas that are actually quite dangerous. We start with a look at how the immune system can teach us about the vital importance of being ?anti-fragile.? We look at lessons from ancient cultural traditions all the way up to modern psychology research to peel back the layers of our current social dialogue and look at many notions that have permeated our current thinking. What are the best ways to promote growth and development? How can we help heal people who have suffered from trauma? How can we create a framework that allows for our society to seek the truth and solve our toughest challenges? We take a hard look at the answers to these questions and much more with our guest Dr. Jonathan Haidt.
Dr. Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist and professor of ethical leadership at New York University?s Stern School of Business. He is the author of multiple books including most recently The Coddling of The American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting Up a Generation for Failure. He is also the author of over 90 academic articles and his work has been featured across the globe.What can the immune system teach us about vital importance of anti-fragility?The reason peanut allergies are rising is because America started protecting kids from peanuts in the early 90sKids need to get sick and be exposed to dirt and germs so that they can be healthier - that?s the cornerstone of the immune systemComfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort - we must be uncomfortable to growOur extreme culture of overprotection has really harmed childrenYou don?t grow in a threatening world - you hunker down and get defensiveChildren need to be in the zone of exploration and excitementWhat happens when students themselves ask for protection from ideas and think that ideas will traumatize them?A desire to protect those who are emotionally fragile is wrong - exposure is how you solve fear and emotional fragilityIf the goal is actually to help people - the entire culture of safetyism - that people are fragile and need to be protected - is directly opposed to the scientific research around what actually helps peopleAre the phenomena of Safe space, trigger warnings, micro aggressions and the morality of ?safetyism? that arose in the last few years healthy for individuals and society?If you goal is healing trauma and helping people improve - embracing discomfort is the best solutionIf your goal is to seek truth - then you must expose yourself to ideas you disagree with and have others challenge your ideas as well If you goal is ideological victory then you try to silence your opponents ideas If people don?t share ideas because they?re afraid of being attacked - then the entire goal of truth seeking cannot be achieved. Today people are afraid of speaking up and afraid of challenging many ideasThis is a pragmatic argument - its not moral or political - and yet the dialogue today prevents the discussion of truth from even happeningThe ?Chicago Principles? for freedom of thinking - an open platform to speak, discuss, and debate ideas - so that you can make your case with evidence and good arguments. If you don?t have diversity of ideas when you?re searching for truth you often come to erroneous conclusions. When we lose viewpoint diversity the science itself is at risk. If you don?t have diversity you?re likely to have bad thinking. Homework: Spread these ideas to others.Homework: Think about the context and system you can to improve and think about how these principles can be appleid to keep healthy debate and productive disagreement 
2018-09-13
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Simple Hacks For Thinking Better From Sherlock Holmes To Professional Poker with Maria Konnikova

In this episode we discuss several simple strategies for thinking better by looking at lessons ranging from sources as disparate as the methods of Sherlock Holmes to the principles of professional poker. How do you create focus and engagement when you?re trying to solve a problem? What are the potential ways that you can improve your memory to supercharge your thinking ability? How can you train your mind to think more effectively about emotion, risk, and uncertainty? We discuss this and much more with our guest Maria Konnikova.
Maria Konnikova is the author of two New York Times best-sellers Mastermind: How To Think Like Sherlock Holmes and The Confidence Game. Maria graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University and received her Ph.D in psychology from Columbia University. Her work has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Scientific American, WIRED, and much more and she is an avid poker player as well.Is is possible that a fictional character could teach us how to think and make better decisions?Mindfulness - the thing that distinguishes Sherlock Holmes from any other detective is that he is fully present and sees and observes small detailsThe hidden power of how remarkably quiet Sherlock Holmes is - he?s a great demonstration of the power of contemplative routinesHow do we create focus and engagement when we?re working on something?You carry this real estate with you all the time - your ?Brain attic? - and how you can use it to think more effectivelyAny information you remember is only useful to you if you can retrieve it when you need - and that?s why you must store things properly A few strategies for making your memory more effective:Encoding - the moment where we first remember it. If you aren?t paying attention you won?t remember in the first place and the memory will never get encoded. Memories are most powerful when they?re tied to other existing memoriesEvery single point of encoding is an anchor or retrieval point that can retrieve everythingUse multiple senses to encode a memory - not just one - build a rich texture of memories to encode them Encoding is different than rote memorization - it?s much more powerfulHow Maria went from a psychology PhD to becoming a professional poker playerHow poker can teach you how to make decisions under conditions of risk, uncertainty, and emotion You can teach people about biases and yet they still make the same mistakes Poker is a way to teach your mind to think in the right ways about risk, emotion, and uncertaintyThere is no better metaphor for the game of life than pokerWhat enabled Maria Konnikova to go from a total outsider to a professional poker player in such a short period of time?Having one of the top players in the world mentor her was a huge piece of itHaving a beginners mind and being willing to not know and ask simple questions Being willing to study and put in massive hours to learnFully immersing yourself, studying 9-10 hours a day, reading, analyzing hands, watching streams, taking notes, talking to people about strategyThere are no shortcuts, ever. There?s no magic bullet. You must put aside your ego to learn and improveHomework: Single most important thing that you can do is meditate 10 minutes per day every day. It doesn?t matter what?s going on around you. Admit the distractions and then let go of them. It doesn?t need to be a quiet place. That one habit can be life changing. 
2018-09-06
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A Beginner's Guide To Body Language & Nonverbal Communication with Joe Navarro

In this episode we break down the complex and confusing world of body language and nonverbal communication. We discover the easiest starting point for learning the basics you need to know to get started with reading and understanding body language and we dig into the specific tools and strategies you can start using right away to not only decode the body language of others, but also change your own body language to communicate what you want. We explore all this and much more with our guest Joe Navarro.
Joe Navarro was approached to join the FBI while working as a police officer at the age of 23. He spent the next 25 years at the FBI working as both an agent and a supervisor in the areas of counterintelligence and counterterrorism. Since retiring in 2003 Joe has written several best selling books on human behavior most recently The Dictionary of Body Language: A field Guide To What Every Body is Saying. His work is frequently featured on programs such as The Today Show, Fox News, Good Morning America, and more!How do we breakdown the maze of nonverbal communication and cues and use them to understand and influence others?Nonverbals are everything other than spoken communication - body language, clothes, cars, pens, accessories, etc You can use nonverbal cues to deeply understand other people, their behaviors and desires The most simple way to understand human body language is to break it down in to the basic categories of ?comfort? and ?discomfort?We are always transmitting, we?re always being examined, people are assessing us the minute we come into viewEasy signs of discomfort to spot and teach yourself to view:Eye touching / eye covering - a powerful phenomena that can even be seen in blind children Lip compression is a very good indicator that something is wrong - someone is struggling with something or worried about somethingJaw shifting - sign of struggle / difficultyNeck touching - welcome tend to touch the base of their neck with their finger, men tend to grab their necks or massage their necksVentilation behaviors - pulling on your shirt, lifting up your hair - shows difficulty or struggleIf you stand at an angle, people will listen to you for a longer period of timeTilting your head slightly to the side is one of the best ways to build rapport with peopleThe feet are the most honest part of the body - how you can read people?s feet to understand what they?re telling you When they?re something we don?t like our feet will immediately turn away from itThe limbic system in the brain - the ?lizard brain? - is responsible for our survival and triggers many of these subconscious nonverbal reactionsTry this out at a meeting or cocktail party - pick out a behavior, observe it, and see if you can learn to watch for itIt?s very difficult to detect deception in someone?s body language - the story of the parking ticket All actors rehearse - it?s no different with the nonverbal personas you want to use to interact with peopleHomework: watch as people are reporting on the stock market on a good and bad day and watch their nonverbalsHomework: watch a TV show with the sound off and see if you can pick out what?s going on from just the nonverbal cuesHomework: 3 starting behaviors to look for Look for eye blocking/eye closureLook for lip compression & jaw shiftingLook for neck touching Notice when it happens, how it happens, what questions were asked, and how people answer - build that into your repitoirs and the expand your skills
2018-08-30
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This Simple Idea From Quantum Physics Could Change Your Life with Mel Schwartz

In this episode we discuss how a few crazy ideas from quantum physics might just change your life. We look at how some of the core principles from the hard sciences have huge implications for the way we live, love, and deal with a world of danger and uncertainty. It is possible that the laws of physics hold lessons that could help us redefine our relationship with anxiety and suffering and open the door to possibility? We discuss this and much more with our guest Mel Schwartz
Mel Schwartz is a psychotherapist, marriage counselor, author, and speaker. He is one of the first contemporary practicing psychotherapists to distill the basic premises of quantum theory into therapeutic approaches. Mel is the author of the book The Possibility Principle: How Quantum Physics Can Improve the Way You Think, Live and Love and has been featured in Psychology Today, TED, and much more.How a panic attack led to a chance encounter with a worldview that transformed Mel?s perceptiveThe Core Principles of Quantum Physics and how they can redefine our livesThe epidemic of anxiety in our society has to do with our relationship with uncertainty - warding off uncertainty creates stress and anxietyQuantum theory holds the premise that reality is literally one inseparable wholeScience confirms the ?mystic? belief that everything in life is inseparable ?The myth of separation? - We are no longer separate disconnected cogs You don?t need to be a math wizard to understand how the principles of quantum physics can transform your world view Our thinking has been trained to compartmentalize and separate the worldDepression comes from a sense of alienation and alone-ness from Newton's deterministic worldviewThe Newtonian worldview - the deterministic / mechanistic worldview Quantum reality is in a state of potential - always waiting to occur Mistakes should not be feared - labeling your experience as mistakes causes you to live in a prison of fear and anxietyDon?t avoid it - embrace discomfort - we must embrace discomfort psychologically and cognitively to grow Embrace confusion - it?s exciting, its a sign post for growth, it gets you to places you?ve never been before The way to embrace uncertainty is by shifting your relationship with your thoughtsUncertainty = possibilityAddiction to certainty = anxiety, fear, stressAsk yourself - what is my thought telling me? How do I know it?s true? How often do I have these thoughts?What does it mean to really be strong? To be vulnerable. Sharing your insecurities, self doubts, and fears.You give other people the power to judge you - and judge yourself based on what you think, they think of youThe way we picture reality is the way we experience reality Homework: In the course of your day - try to capture the themes of your thoughts and ask yourself, what are they telling you? Homework: As yourself some larger question - how do you view life? How did you come to your core beliefs about the world? What informs your core beliefs about the world?
2018-08-23
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The Death of Time Management & How You Can Manipulate Time with Laura Vanderkam


In this episode we tell the truth about time. We throw out the old and dated conceptions of ?time management? and look at how time really works. We explore the fundamental way you must flip your approach to time so that you can focus on what really matters in life. We look at how you can become an artist manipulating time at your will - stretching your best moments so that they last longer and ruthlessly removing the things that clutter your life. If you feel pressed for time - like there is never enough - and want to figure out how to create time for what really matters - listen to this episode with our guest Laura Vanderkam. 
Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management and productivity books. Her TED talk titled ?How To Gain Control of Your Free Time? has been viewed over 5 million times and she is the co-host of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. Her work has appeared in publications including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Fast Company, and Fortune.Does time management work? Is time management a concept with too much baggage associated with it to even be meaningful?It?s not about cramming so much stuff into your life - it?s about focusing on the most important things. Fundamentally flip your approach - removing as much as possible is much more important than cramming as much as possible into your dayPeople who were highly relaxed around their time had a tendency to plan ?mini adventures? in their lives Putting more valuable stuff into our lives makes time more memorable. If you want to feel like you have more time you need to create more memories. Can we become ?artists manipulating time? to stretch the best moments so that they last longer?Anticipation is powerful - starting savoring before it startsBe as present as possible, notice details, think about how you might describe it to someoneTell the story of what happened - every time you tell it you get pleasure from itCommemorate it with artifacts (ticket stubs, t-shirts, etc)Play the same song over and over again to encode that song to a specific memory or experienceCreate as many memories as possible - more memories makes time expand Time is highly elastic - it stretches to accommodate what we need or want to fit into it Time management is not about shaving extra hours out of every day - it?s about selecting the right prioritiesIf you?ve ever binged something on Netflix - you found extra time because you had something that was a big priorityLack of Time = Lack of Priorities ?Reflective Activities? like journaling, meditating, praying - stepping back from life and thinking about life - people with the highest time perception and time management scores did these every other day, the lowest scores people never did itPart of feeling relaxed about your time is knowing when and how you?re spending your leisure timeLetting go of expectations is a great time management strategy Planning your weeks before you?re in them is a great strategy to make time for your priorities FIRSTMake a 3 category priority list:CareerRelationshipsSelfEach one of those categories is key!!A great tactic for setting your short to medium term goals - writing a ?Performance Review? (for next year)Look at this list all the timeIt can start informing your schedule choicesHow do we create more effective morning and evening routines?Homework: Track your time for a week (if you can?t track it for a day or two)Homework: Plan a ?mini adventure? during the work day or after work this week - do something different, put a little adventure into your life
2018-08-16
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Speak & Present With Total Confidence Using These Tactics with Matt Abrahams

In this episode we show you the science of communication. Have you ever been afraid to speak or present? Are you worried about not having the skills or tools to communicate your ideas to the world? We dig into the science and the strategies of mastering skills like speaking and presenting, crushing the anxiety that often accompanies thee high stakes moments, and share evidence based strategies for becoming  a master communicator.
Matt Abrahams is a Professor of Strategic Communication for Stanford University?s Graduate School of Business. He is the co-founder of Bold Echo Communication Solutions and author of the book Speaking Up Without Freaking Out. Matt?s videos and training techniques have been viewed tens of millions of times in TEDx, Inc. and much more!What happens when you rip your pants in the middle of a big speech?Anxiety can have a tremendously negative impact on our ability to to communicateConfidence in speaking and what it means to be authentic and how to be an engaging communicator Anxiety negatively impacts communication in two major waysAudiences have trouble listening to a nervous speakerYou get caught up in your own head A foundational tenant of all communication is to be audience centric - your job is to serve the needs of your audience Research sees anxiety about speaking and communicating as ubiquitous across ages, cultures etcFear of communication is hard-wired intro your brain by evolution and it?s social pressuresThere are two fundamental approaches to dealing with anxietyDealing with the symptomsDealing with the actual sources of anxietySpeaking in high stakes situations is internalized by your body as a threatHold something cold in the palm of your hand it can reduce your body temperature and counter-act sweating and blushing that results from anxiety. Distracting your audience is a great strategy to take their focus off of you. Give the audience something to distract them and get them more engagedIf you gesture more slowly you will actually slow down your speaking rateGreet your anxiety - give yourself permission to be anxious. This is how you short circuit the loop of getting nervous about getting nervous. This works with any emotion, not just anxiety. The powerful learnings from improv comedy that can make you be a more confidence speaker Dare to be dull - don?t strive for perfection. Do what needs to be done, and by reducing the pressure you put on yourself you increase the likelihood that you will actually achieve a great outcome.The ?Shout the wrong name? exercise that can help you reduce your anxiety in real timeConstraints and structure invite more opportunities for creativity (in life) and in communicationThe components of confidenceManaging anxietyCreating presence & meta awareness - adapt your communication to what?s happening the moment Convey emotion - confidence speakers convey emotion You have to tie the data and facts back into the emotions - the implications of the science and the dataThe ?What?,? ?So What?,? ?Now What?? Structure The answerWhy its importantWhat you do with the answer that?s just givenHomework - Take the opportunity too build your skills. Like any skill you?re trying to build -  it?s all aboutRepetition - find avenues to speak and give presentationsReflection - ask yourself what worked and what didn?t workFeedback - find a trusted other - a mentor, a colleague, a loved one who can give you honest feedback. We are bad at judging our own communication
2018-08-09
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Stop Chasing Happiness and Do This Instead with Emily Esfahani Smith

In this episode we discuss happiness. Can the pursuit of happiness backfire? Why are people more depressed an anxious than ever in a time when the world is physically safer and healthier than ever before in history? We look at the crisis of meaning in our society and examine how we can cultivate real meaning in our lives, beyond ourselves, and move towards an existence of purpose with our guest Emily Esfahani Smith. 
Emily Esfahani Smith is a journalist, positive psychology instructor, and author. She is a graduate of Dartmouth College and earned a master of applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. Her articles have been read over 30 million times, her TED talk has over 1.3 million views and her work has appeared in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, TIME, the TED stage, and more.Should we be pursuing happiness?There?s more to life than being happyWhen we pursue happiness - it?s very self-oriented2 reasons why the ?pursuit of happiness can backfire"It?s not possible to be happy all the time - and it?s a fool's errand to try and pursue happiness all the time - it?s not a realistic expectation for your lifeHappiness is very ?self-focused? - how is this affecting ME - its a very selfish perception People are healthier, safer, more comfortable than any time in history - and yet anxiety and depression are increasing, suicide rates are increasing - why is this happening?Meaning is about connecting and contributing to something beyond yourself - being connecting to your family, to god, to nature, to the universe, etc Some of the essential characteristics of people with meaning in their livesYour life has worth and significanceYour life has a sense of purposeYour life is coherentHow can we find meaning beyond ourselves in a world where most of our major social institutions have eroded away to a large degree (patriotism, religion, family, etc)?In the modern era - the challenge of being alive is the challenge of trying to find meaning on your ownThe Four Pillars of MeaningBelonging - being in communities and relationships where you feel valued for who you are intrinsicallyPurpose - using your strengths to serve other people. Having something worthwhile to do with your time. Making a contribution to the world. Children who do chores around the house have a higher sense of meaningTranscendence - when your sense of self-starts to turn down or turn off completely. Stepping beyond yourself.Storytelling - the story that you tell yourself about yourselfHow do we create belonging in your life?Forming intimate relationships with othersBelonging is a choice that we make - and we can choose to cultivate in any given momentYou can also take the initiative to create these new types of communities within your own life and communityHow do we change the stories that we tell ourselves about ourselves?The first thing is to recognize that we are constantly telling ourselves stories about ourselvesA ?contamination? story and how that can change your self-perception and create negative results in your life?Something happened in my life, then there was a negative result, not I?m ?contaminated"A ?redemptive? story - a story that moves from bad things happening to good things happeningSomething bad happened in my life, and that has made me grow, made me stronger If you?re telling a negative story, how do you start telling a better story?Narrative writing, journaling Is leading a meaningful life just about accomplishment and achieving results?
2018-08-02
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When the Impossible Becomes Possible - The Secrets of Flow Revealed with Steven Kotler

In this episode we discuss how the impossible becomes possible. We look at how to create paradigm shifting breakthroughs, dig into the science and research at the frontier of peak human performance to understand what?s at the core of nearly every gold medal or world championship - the powerful concept of flow. How do we create flow in our lives, how can we use it as a tool to become 400% more creative and learn skills 200% faster? We dig into this and much more with our guest Steven Kotler. 
Steven Kotler is a New York Times bestselling author, an award-winning journalist and the cofounder and director of research of the Flow Genome Project. His most recent work, Stealing Fire, was a national bestseller and nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. Steven?s work have been translated into over 40 languages and appeared in over 100 publications, including The New York Times, Atlantic Monthly, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Wired and TIME.Wherever people are taking huge risks to change the world, you find flow How do you create Paradigm Shifting Breakthroughs?Whenever you see the impossible become possible you see two things:People leverage and take advantage of disruptive technologyPeople finding ways to extend human capacityPeak performance is about being fanatical - repeating, week after week, year after year, for your entire career. You have to have that level of hunger, motivation, and driveSteven?s work is focused on studying the peak performance state known as FlowHow can we use Flow to massively level up performance?Major Characteristics of FlowFlow is definable - it has  core characteristicsComplete ConcentrationTime DilationFlow is measurableFlow is universalFlow is a spectrum experience - you can be in micro flow or macro flowFlow often mistaken for a mystical experience before it was measured and studiedMcKinsey did a 10 year study on flow - it made top executives 500% more effectiveFlow creates a 400% - 700% increase in creativityCan that really be true?What is creativity?Soldiers learn skills 230% faster in flow statesWhen you?re in a flow state you?re actually using LESS of your brain not more of itYour brain is burning a lot of energy and so it shut?s this part of the brain downAs your need for concentration goes up, the brain starts shutting down non-critical areas to maximize attentionFlow also creates a huge dump of positive neurochemicals and stress hormones are flushed out of your system and replaced with ?big five? neurochemicalsAnybody can access flow because flow stats have triggers - flow is universal provided certain initial conditions are metOne of the most important triggers is the challenge/skills balance - when the challenge slightly exceeds our skillset?Let my people go surfing? - PatagoniaTraining up flow while you?re surfing trains the brain to enter flow states in generalHeightened creativity lasts for several daysConscious altered and being focused is usually 1-1.5 hrsA place where most people screw up Flow - they take the amplified creativity from flow and ride it til the very bitter end until they are very exhausted. That makes it more difficult to jump into flow the next time. The intersection of flow states and the Science of SpiritualityThe same neurobiological states from flow show up in the same place as mystical experiences, psychedelic states, states of awe, near death experiences. All of these experiences neurobiologically are very very similar.
2018-07-26
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Making Smart Decisions When You Don?t Have All The Facts with Annie Duke

In this episode we discuss how to make better decisions under conditions of uncertainty. We look at ?the worst call in the history of football,? discuss examples from life, business and even high stakes poker to understand how to make the best possible decisions in a a world filled with unknowns. What exactly is a good decision? Is that different than a good outcome? We look at this key question - and uncover the wisdom hidden in the reality that these two things might be completely different. All this and more with our guest Annie Duke.

Annie is a professional decision strategists and former professional poker player. She has leveraged her expertise in the science of smart decision making throughout her life and for two decades was one of the top poker players in the world. She is the author of the book Thinking In Bets: Making Smart Decisions When You Don?t Have All The Facts and after being granted the National Science Foundation Fellowship, studied Cognitive Psychology at The University of Pennsylvania.How do we get create lessons from our experiences?How do we sort out the noise in the gap between decision quality and outcome quality?In poker (like life) you can make really good decision and have a really bad outcome - but that doesn?t mean that you made a bad decisionThis fuzzy relationship between decision making and outcomes can be very problematic for people ?Resulting?- tying the quality of the outcome too tightly to the quality of decisionsAn unlucky / bad outcome is not the same as a bad decisionRed lights and green lights - and how they can shine a light on hidden risks to decision-makingThe only thing that matters is not the result - but the process  of making decisions - because that is all we can controlIn our own lives we constantly lurch into over-reactions when we focus only on results and not on our decision-making qualityStrategy #1: Approach the world through the frame of decisions as betsWhy you should ask ?Wanna Bet?? to get more clarity about a situationThere are 2 major sources of uncertainty between Decisions and OutcomesLuck/RandomnessInformation AsymmetryStrategy #2: Get other people involved in the process with youYou are really good at recognizing other people?s bias, even when you can?t see your ownWhen you?re trying to make a decision (or a bet) the person who will win is the person who has the most accurate ?mental model? or model of realityStrategy #3: Try to quarantine yourself from experienceEscape the quality of the outcome and how it impacts your assessment - unless you have enough data to actually verify it Key Steps to Focusing on the Decision-Making Process Not the OutcomeEvaluate decisions prior to getting the outcomeCreate a Decision Pod of other people who can challenge your thinkingThe key to making effective decisions is to multiply the probability of the outcome by the impact/magnitude Homework #1: find a group of people who are open minded, who want to be better decision-makers, and agree together that you want to question each others thinking, not be defensive, hold each other accountable to biasHomework #2: Start listening to yourself for signals that you might be engaging in biased behavior, using the words wrong/right, should ofHomework #3: Discuss a decision with 2 different people and give them opposite ?outcomes? (Tell one it went really well, tell the other it went really poorly) to get clear sense of different sides of the coin
2018-07-19
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Why The Science of Trait Psychology May Just Predict Everything In Your Life with Dr. Brian R. Little

In this episode we go deep on the science of personality. We look at how we?ve moved way beyond the debate of nature vs nurture, we look at the ?Myth of Authenticity" and the danger of ?just being yourself,? we examine why human wellbeing (aka success) depends on the sustainable pursuit of core projects in our lives, explore the complex dance of self improvement between the limitation of biological, social factors and the identity of individuals, and look at how much agency and control we really have in shaping our personalities and lives among all of these different factors with our guest Dr. Brian Little. What is Trait Psychology?Traits do have predictive validity?The Big Five? personality model is the most dominant perspective in personality trait psychologyOCEANOpenness to experienceConscientiousnessExtraversionAgreeablenessNeuroticism Honesty / humility is a sixth factor that may not be included in the ?Big Five? modelThese personality traits have consequential predictive ability for your life outcomes, happiness, marriage, success, divorce, etcThe trait of conscientiousness is a very good predictor of work place success but also predicts health outcomes, why is that?Disagreeable people also have a health risk factor - low agreeableness shows an increased risk for heart diseaseOpenness-to-experience and conscietouness have different paths to success - but both can be successful predictors of positive life outcomesThe myth of the creative hero. The creative project is much more important than the illusion of the solo creative.How changeable or immutable are our personality traits? Are we stuck with the personality we are born with?Your trait expressions can be shaped not just by your biology but also by the things that really matter to you - by your own ?personal projects?If you constantly act out of character - you may eventually run the risk of burning outThe study of our traits gets us INTO the study of personality but not ALL THE WAY inWe?ve moved WAY beyond the nature vs nurture debate Genetic expression is a matter of external influence than shapes the expression of genesThere is a biological ?base? to our personality - but it?s a base that we can either act against or act in accordance with itSelf improvement is a dance between biological, social, and individual factors Traits are a necessary way of understanding personality but they are not sufficient We explore "The Bodnarian Aspects of Matt"We are not just pawns - we can shape things and change the trajectory of our lives (within reasonable boundaries)?Go for it? feels good - but its often a cheap way out - take a harder look and really look at the best path forward for yourself Accepting and facing reality as it is - including your own limitations and weaknesses - is an essential component of successHuman wellbeing (?success?) depends on the sustainable pursuit of core projects in our lives. Natural dispositions that we don?t borrow from our cultural scripts are the first line of influence that help shape what becomes the core projects in our livesOut of the stew emerge biological shaped, but also socially influenced possible futures for yourself that are anchored in core projects The sustainable pursuit of core projects is vital - the way in which we get them isHomework: If you want to play outside your personality comfort zone, start with small uncomfortable changes and gradually build into more and more difficult situations Homework: Conduct short term experiments, self change experiments, ?fixed role explorations? and then monitor the impact that has on your personality and behavior
2018-07-12
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