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The Jordan Harbinger Show

The Jordan Harbinger Show

(Apple's Best of 2018) In-depth conversations with people at the top of their game. Jordan Harbinger unpacks guests' wisdom into practical nuggets you can use to impact your work, life, and relationships. Learn from leaders (Ray Dalio, Simon Sinek, Mark Cuban), entertainers (Moby, Tip "T.I." Harris, Dennis Quaid), scientists (Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye), athletes (Kobe Bryant, Dennis Rodman, Tony Hawk) and an eclectic array of fascinating minds, from art forgers and arms traffickers to spies and psychologists.

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576: General Michael Hayden | American Intelligence in the Age of Terror

General Michael Hayden (@GenMhayden) is a retired United States Air Force general, former Director of the NSA and CIA, and author of Playing to the Edge: American Intelligence in the Age of Terror. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!]

What We Discuss with General Michael Hayden: How does an intelligence agent view cognition, cognitive bias, and psychology differently from a policymaker? What is The Unpleasant Fact an intelligence agent brings to the briefing table? General Hayden gives us a rare glimpse of working for two very different presidents and conveys the importance of adapting to their particular learning styles. Find out what it’s like to present new intelligence to an administration that forces it to change policy. (Awkward!) Get General Hayden’s take on the Orlando shootings and the difficulty of balancing security with liberty. And much more…

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/576

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-10-21
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575: Benjamin Hardy | Minding the Gap and the Gain

Benjamin Hardy (@BenjaminPHardy) is an organizational psychologist and author of books about willpower, self-limiting beliefs, and teamwork. His latest offering (co-authored with Dan Sullivan), is The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success.

What We Discuss with Benjamin Hardy: If you measure your current self against your ideal (often chosen and defined by other people rather than yourself), you’ll never be happy because there will always be a gap. Unsuccessful people primarily focus on this (but we all wind up here sometimes). If you measure your current self against your previous self — and notice the gain you've made between yesterday and today — you’ll experience happiness, satisfaction, and confidence. The most successful people understand this. The difference between ideals (general, immeasurable, and constantly changing) and goals (specific, measurable, and time-bound) -- and why your ideals shouldn't be your benchmark for achievement, but merely the source from which your goals are inspired. How you can weed out the arbitrary reference points with which you've been burdened by external sources and choose ones that are actually meaningful -- not just constant reminders of what you don't have. How the increased confidence that comes from living in the gain allows you to set bigger and more imaginative goals to truly tailor the fabric of your own life. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/575

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-10-19
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574: Can There Be Merit in the Extramarital? | Feedback Friday

You've been secretly chatting with an old flame whose torch you still carry, and you even met in person to discover that these feelings are mutual. But there's a big hitch: while you're now single again, she's in what seems to be an otherwise happy marriage and is mother to three. Now you feel frustrated, jealous, and even heartbroken because you can't be with her. Or can you? We'll try to help you find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/574

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Rekindling with an old flame whose feelings are said to be mutual should fill you with joy, but her current marriage to another man and motherhood to his children is a bit of a downer. Can there be merit in pursuing something...extramarital? You share custody of two children with a narcissistic ex -- one is hers by a father who was out of the picture by the time you came along, and the other was adopted. The problem: she shamelessly plays favorites and clearly favors her biological kid. Are you hurting your adopted child by allowing her to go to your toxic ex's every other week? You're blind and working toward certification in a well-paying field, but it involves visual math concepts and a lot of the instructional material is inaccessible. On the other hand, your interest in languages makes a career as an interpreter appealing -- and it's much easier to accomplish. Should you finish the certification you've spent so much time and money pursuing, or just cut your losses and take the lower-paying but potentially more satisfying path? You have well-off parents who let you live rent-free in a house they own while you finish school, but you think your roommate may be taking advantage of the situation by mooching free food without asking and even offering it to guests. What can you do to set better boundaries without creating an awkward living environment? Working the night shift doing repetitive work wasn't really what you signed on for, so you've been looking for a new job. Now you've been informed you're on deck for training in a more challenging task that's more up your alley, but you're not sure you can work three more months of overnights before this is slated to happen. What are your best options here? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect...
2021-10-15
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573: David Buss | When Men Behave Badly

David Buss (@profdavidbuss) is considered the world’s leading scientific expert on the evolutionary psychology of human mating strategies. He is the author of several books on the subject, most recently When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault.

What We Discuss with David Buss: Why, from an evolutionary standpoint, the reproductive interests of males and females sometimes diverge. Why metabolizing alcohol differently makes women more susceptible to an expectation of bonding (and how some men exploit this). The Dark Triad traits that mark the men most likely to have short-term relationships and cheat. How do women use active signaling to show they're more open to short-term relationships? She's not playing hard to get. If she rejects you softly, it isn't an invitation to try harder -- it's a survival tactic meant to avoid prompting a violent reaction. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/573

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-10-14
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572: Tamer Elnoury | Undercover with a Muslim FBI Agent

Tamer Elnoury is an Arabic-speaking Muslim American, a longtime elite counterterrorism undercover agent, and co-author of American Radical: Inside the World of an Undercover Muslim FBI Agent.

What We Discuss with Tamer Elnoury: What unique psychological skills (and desire for thrills) drew Tamer to the exciting and dangerous life of undercover law enforcement work? Why, when working undercover, you're only as good as your informant. How an agent is trained to work undercover (and why the FBI undercover school only has a 50 percent graduation rate). How an undercover agent blends in with criminals without breaking the laws they've been recruited to enforce. What an undercover agent does to hook a mark into noticing and eventually confiding in them. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/572

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-10-12
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571: Pastor Past Makes You An Outcast | Feedback Friday

As an exemplary member of the clergy for 29 years, you'd think honesty to your superiors would be rewarded unconditionally. Alas, when you disclosed a need to seek counseling during a rough patch between you and your spouse (which resulted in a stronger relationship), you were unceremoniously booted from your position. Now you can't find work at another church because you've been unfairly branded a pariah among those of your faith, and you can't find a job among the secular because your clerical past seems to be a turn-off to potential employers. What can you do? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/571

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Honesty got you kicked out of the clergy, and the seculars seem turned off by your pastor past. Who will hire you now? [Thanks to Pastor Brad Mortensen for helping us with this one!] Thanks to an accidental pocket dial after calling your parents to ask for a loan, you overheard exactly what your mother thinks of you -- and it wasn't favorable. Yet she's never hesitated to call you when she needs help. Is it unreasonable to cut toxic family members out of your life? You're a fully booked hairstylist at your sister-in-law's salon, and feel it's time to branch out on your own after 20 years. But you'd be bringing along another fully booked stylist, which would ultimately hurt your sister-in-law's business. Is there a way to follow opportunity without leaving family in the lurch? You love your job, but you find the constant interruptions that come with it challenging your ability to stay on task. What can you do to stay focused? You run a junior developer meetup; most people come through, build technical and interpersonal confidence, and leave when they get jobs, but there are some people who have been coming back week after week for years. These folks are generally technically proficient, but lack in the social skills department. How can you proactively add social skills training without coming across as some kind of jerk? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at
2021-10-08
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570: Marc Fennell | Cracking California's Nut Jobs

Marc Fennell (@MarcFennell) is an award-winning journalist, interviewer, author, and documentary maker. He is also the writer and narrator of Audible Original Nut Jobs: Cracking California's Strangest $10 Million Dollar Heist.

What We Discuss with Marc Fennell: Who stole $10 million in nuts (specifically almonds and pistachios) from California's Central Valley farmers -- and why? Why are nuts (and prepackaged food in general) such ideal targets for theft, and how do current security protocols make it so temptingly easy for thieves with the means to haul them away? What makes nuts grown in California's Central Valley valuable enough for organized criminals to take notice, and where do they go? Who wins and who loses when hot nuts change hands? What will it take to stop these heists from continuing? And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/570

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-10-07
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569: Rick Ross | How to Boss Up and Build an Empire

Rick Ross (@RickRoss) is a multi-platinum-selling, multi-Grammy-nominated rapper, artist, songwriter, investor, and author of The Perfect Day to Boss Up: A Hustler's Guide to Building Your Empire.

What We Discuss with Rick Ross: Why Rick, in spite of growing up middle class with a computer programmer father, got involved with dealing drugs in his early teens. Where Rick's "no complaints" policy originated and how it keeps him focused on what's important. How embracing the difficulty of the process that allows Rick to acquire, enjoy, and manage his success builds resilience. The dangers of hustling backwards. How taking Rick's calendar audit exercise can help you keep your schedule lean for the things that matter and trim away the things that don't. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/569

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-10-05
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568: Sugar Daddy's Ambition is a Savory Transition | Feedback Friday

You're a bit embarrassed to say you went through a debaucherous sugar daddy phase, but your sweet tooth for the lifestyle turned sour and left you feeling empty. Now you're in a more confident headspace to pursue regular dating, but should you disclose this part of your life to a hypothetical significant other should things turn serious? We'll try to find a good answer (devoid of any candy coating) to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/568

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: After going through a sugar daddy phase, you're ready for regular dating. But should you disclose your past if a relationship gets serious? Jordan. Jen. Jayden. Is the Harbinger family alliteration premeditated, or purely happenstance? You were recently offered the position of Assistant Grand Master in your Masonic District -- a huge honor -- but what they don't know is you may have to move for a job offer you're pursuing. How do you break the news without offending your fellow Stonecutters? Showers: is it best to take them in the morning or at night? Your profession makes you highly visible in your cozy, rural community, so you're finding it hard to date online without stumbling across the profile of someone who would definitely recognize you. What are your options for keeping romance on the DL without driving 250 miles outside of town? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] As a novice, what's the best way to start building your podcast? What happens to the Feedback Friday questions that don’t make it on the show? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

2021-10-01
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567: Kai-Fu Lee | Ten Visions for Our Future with AI

Kai-Fu Lee (@kaifulee) is an AI expert, CEO of Sinovation Ventures, former President of Google China, and co-author (with Chen Qiufan) of AI 2041: Ten Visions for Our Future.

What We Discuss with Kai-Fu Lee: How AI will magnify the effects of the energy revolution, materials revolution, and life science revolution currently under way. How can we keep the data that trains AI to operate free from human and cultural biases and other inaccuracies? The four waves of AI and where we are on the path to truly autonomous AI that frees humans to do more worthwhile work. How human beings can avoid displacement when all the repetitive, soul-crushing tasks are being done by robots, and what society must do to keep this from widening the gap in economic inequality. How AI might be used to optimize the educational experience and make it engaging for every child by tailoring it to their individual interests. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/567

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-30
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566: Brian Chesky | Lessons Airbnb Learned to Survive the Pandemic

Brian Chesky (@bchesky) is co-founder and CEO of the peer-to-peer lodging service Airbnb, named as one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People of 2015.

What We Discuss with Brian Chesky: How Airbnb not only survived the pandemic after losing 80 percent of its business during the first eight weeks, but is now thriving like never before. Why a company that still conducts itself like a startup is better poised to withstand and grow from business crises than the behemoths who have everything to lose. What was going through Brian's head when he got the news on live television that Airbnb shares were trading at twice their IPO price. How does a company leader become successful without losing their mind along the way? What Brian sees for the future of travel, and how it's changed as a direct result of the pandemic. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/566

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-28
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565: My Manipulative Sister: How Can We Resist Her? | Feedback Friday

You have a manipulative half-sister who disrespects your father by referring to him as "bio-dad" and ghosts him when it suits her, but never hesitates to contact him when she needs money. Your attempts to salvage a relationship with her always go unanswered, yet your father believes she should still be invited to your wedding next year. Should you cut her out of your life for good, or try to make nice with her again for your dad's sake? We'll tackle this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/565

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Should you delay career training or investing in yourself because it will take "too long?" Should you cut the half-sister who manipulates your family out of your life, or should you keep trying to build a relationship with her for your father's sake? To an outside observer, you appear to have a perfect life. But here's the secret you haven't told anyone: you're a high-functioning alcoholic. How do you even start dealing with this? Marrying a successful businessperson will allow you to retire from a job you don't really want and pursue your own interests. But you've spent your whole life working multiple jobs to get by and you're frozen by the overwhelming possibilities ahead of you. How can you be sure you're spending all of this "free" time wisely and with purpose? You're invited to be in a groomsman party with a contractor who stiffed you on a job. How can you conceal or eliminate your resentment so everyone can have a good time, and how do you deal with this person at the bachelor party and wedding? You learn best by being hands-on and watching others, but your new job is 100 percent remote until the pandemic is better contained. How can you learn, improve, and stay focused in this role when you're working from home? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

2021-09-24
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564: A.J. Jacobs | It?s All Relative

A.J. Jacobs (@ajjacobs) is a New York Times best-selling author who went on a quest to help build the biggest family tree in history, as detailed in his latest book It?s All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World?s Family Tree.

What We Discuss with A.J. Jacobs: What did A.J. Jacobs learn by following every rule of the Bible literally for one year? How much do you really know about your heritage? See how relating to one another on a family tree of millions is a step toward overcoming the ills of modern tribalism and race relations. Why acknowledging the bad as well as the good revealed by digging into family history is important. The disciplined daydreaming of A.J.?s brainstorming sessions and how we can cultivate our own big-picture thinking. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/564

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-23
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563: Bobby Hall (aka Logic) | This Bright Future

Bobby Hall (aka Logic) (@Logic301) is a Grammy-nominated, platinum-selling recording artist, actor, streamer, film producer, and author of NYT best-seller Supermarket and his latest, This Bright Future: A Memoir.

What We Discuss with Bobby Hall (aka Logic): Why Logic's good memories of childhood make him sad. The challenges of living with cervical dystonia. Why Logic was suicidal when his song 1-800-273-8255 became a big hit (and what stopped him from going through with it). How Logic got his career started like so many of us: in a '90s rap battle chat room. Why Logic found the story about Helen Keller's education to be particularly inspiring. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/563

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-21
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562: Old Ex-Con Mister Eloped with My Young Sister | Feedback Friday

Your family helped a 62-year-old convict who was "wrongfully convicted" of the statutory rape of his stepdaughter get back on his feet -- until he went off and eloped with your 23-year-old sister. Now that conviction seems like it might not have been so wrongful after all, and you're wondering how you can protect your sister if he's just been on the hunt for another victim. We'll try to help find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/562

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Why did our advice to the job negotiator in episode 553 seem counter to our usual stance on negotiation? How can you make sure your 23-year-old sister is safe now that she's eloped with a 62-year-old ex-con? You're vaccinated and set to be the maid of honor at a wedding, but you're uneasy because the groom's family doesn't even believe in COVID -- and will be taking zero precautions to protect themselves and others (in spite of the recent surge in delta variant deaths). How do you express your concerns to the bride-to-be without losing your lifelong friend? You're a busy stay-at-home mom and newly full-time student trying to stay focused, but your husband has gotten in the habit of calling you from work -- sometimes for an hour at a time. Is there a nice way to convey that when he's working, you're working, too, and he should reserve these calls for emergencies? Your teen daughter suffered a brain injury that has left her with daily headaches, nausea, dizziness, and head fog. Now she's under pressure to apply to colleges, but she's angry and behaving like a victim instead of doing the necessary work to regain her cognitive performance. How can you help her make progress instead of enabling her inaction? You're eager to start your own business as a wedding coordinator after hiring one for your own wedding and realizing your company vastly underpays you. Is there a protocol for asking this person for advice even though they would technically be your competition? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at
2021-09-17
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561: Charles Duhigg | The Secrets of Being Smarter Faster Better

Charles Duhigg (@cduhigg) is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter at The New York Times and author of Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!]

What We Discuss with Charles Duhigg: What’s the difference between what we think and how we think? Learn more about the science of motivation and what makes us tick. Compare the internal vs. external locus of control. What is cognitive tunneling and when does it affect us? Discover how we can use mental models to avoid it. Find out how to increase creativity even when we hit a block. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/561

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-16
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560: Dan Carlin | Apocalyptic Moments in Hardcore History

Dan Carlin (@hardcorehistory) is the host of the wildly popular Hardcore History and Common Sense podcasts, and author of The End Is Always Near: Apocalyptic Moments, from the Bronze Age Collapse to Nuclear Near Misses.

What We Discuss with Dan Carlin: Do tough times make for tougher people? How do we define what "tough" means? Will war ever become obsolete, or will we always need to be prepared to engage in military force on some level? Why do the people who are best qualified to lead rarely get elected, and how does this hurt us all (even if "our" candidate wins)? How denying the cultivation of skills, talent, and opportunity to the poorest members of the population underserves society as a whole. Is a de-escalation of our current political polarization possible, or have we passed the point of no return? And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/560

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-14
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559: How to Say Yes to Post-Traumatic Success | Feedback Friday

How do you find your way back to high achievement when coping with the aftermath of extreme trauma keeps you low? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday! We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/559

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: How do you find your way back to the hallowed halls of high achievement when the trauma you're trying to work through is doing its best to keep you low? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] How do you break off a friendship with someone who's way more into it than you are without hurting their feelings? [Many thanks to From Start-Up to Grown-Up author Alisa Cohn for helping us answer this!] How can you get your lyin' and cheatin' ex-spouse to change their no-good behavior for the sake of your angelic offspring? You recently finished the novel you've been working on for five years and discovered along the way that writing it was a process you enjoyed far more than your day job. Should you dive in and become a full-time, professional writer, or just keep at it as an inspiring hobby? Your mom has been diagnosed as seriously mentally ill (SMI) and in treatment for half your life. Her psychiatrist of the past 17 years doesn't seem to be doing much to help -- in fact, her behavior's only gotten worse. As her medical power of attorney, you're considering a court order for a new mental health evaluation, but she lives in another state and you don't know where to begin. What can you do? [Once again, thanks to Corbin Payne (aka C-Payne) for helping us with this one!] Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign...

2021-09-10
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558: Jack Schafer | Flipping the Like Switch Part Two

Jack Schafer (@jackschafer) is a retired FBI special agent, current assistant professor at Western Illinois University, and co-author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Catch up with part one here!]

What We Discuss with Jack Schafer: How undercover cops get made just by the way they look at people. The spotlight effect: why we all overestimate how much other people notice about us, and how we can use this to our advantage when trying to spot a lie (or not get caught in a lie ourselves). What Jack has to gain by making minor mistakes deliberately when he's teaching a class. What people are really telling us when they're angry, and how we can stealthily defuse them before they go off. If you make people feel good about themselves, they will seek to be around you to get those feelings again. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/558

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-09
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557: Jack Schafer | Flipping the Like Switch Part One

Jack Schafer (@jackschafer) is a retired FBI special agent, current assistant professor at Western Illinois University, and co-author of The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Keep an eye out for part two later this week!]

What We Discuss with Jack Schafer: Why happy people make terrible spy recruits. How the Friendship Formula (Friendship = Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity) can be used to build rapport in every human interaction. How to "name it and claim it" when manipulative techniques are being used against you to withstand and resist their effects. How to recognize friend and foe signals in others and make sure you're not inadvertently broadcasting the signals that mark you as an easy target for manipulation. What's really going on when someone grabs food from your plate without asking, or takes their sweet time getting out of the parking spot you're clearly waiting for. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/557

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

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2021-09-07
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556: How Can I Expunge the Family Sponge? | Feedback Friday

You live in an extended family situation and the only contribution one member makes to the collective is drinking, smoking pot, eating your food, stealing your old phones to pawn, and making messes they can't be bothered to clean up. Since they're not liable to move away from free room and board of their own volition, is there anything you can do to expunge the family sponge and restore sanity to the homestead? We'll try to find a solution to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/556

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: When one member of your extended family is allowed to live in the house rent-free while eating your food, making messes, and contributing nothing, what can you do to expunge this family sponge? After numerous disappointments trying to conceive a baby through natural and scientifically enhanced means, you can't help but wonder if you're just ignoring something the universe is trying to tell you. Your in-laws' free-range cats have fleas, and now, after a recent visit, your home is infested with them. How can you fix this problem without making it seem like an attack on your wife's family? Your brother has been working with/hanging out with d-bag bros for so long that he's become one. You know deep down he's a great, thoughtful, and grounded person, but you're worried you may never see this side of him again. How can you nudge him away from this wretched d-baggery? You've been working hard at your high-paying, high-stress job through vacations and holidays for years that you think you may be burning out. In your 30s with unfulfilled career ambitions, would it be imprudent to take a gap year off to go traveling -- an almost guaranteed remedy for the depression you've been feeling? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

2021-09-03
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555: Jessica Tracy | Why Pride is the Deadly Sin of Success

Jessica Tracy (@ProfJessTracy) is a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, where she also directs the Emotion & Self Lab. She is the author of Take Pride: Why the Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!] 

What We Discuss with Jessica Tracy: Pride is a universal human emotion and a force that can be harnessed to help humans succeed ? it?s a key ingredient to confidence. Understand the difference between hubristic and authentic pride ? why you should seek out one but try to minimize the other. Learn how pride intersects with grit. Identify pride to gain an advantage in shifting your own behavior and knowing how to react to others. Discover how the statuses of dominance and prestige are affected by pride. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/555

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking ? our free networking and relationship development mini course ? at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-09-02
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554: Laurie Santos | Practical Lessons from The Happiness Lab

Laurie Santos (@lauriesantos) is a professor of psychology at Yale University, instructor of Coursera's The Science of Well-Being course (adapted from her popular Psychology and the Good Life course at Yale), and host of The Happiness Lab podcast.

What We Discuss with Laurie Santos: Happiness is actually a set of skills we can learn and master as opposed to some ideal state of being. While there's no denying that genetics and circumstances play a role in happiness, the good news is that we're in control of developing the mindset and behavior to mobilize it. The mechanisms by which people become happy (or miserable), and some tools we can use to to hack our own happiness. The bad news: we outgrow the rush of the happiest days of our lives; the good news: we outgrow the anguish from the worst days of our lives. Why Olympic bronze medalists are often happier than silver medalists. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/554

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-31
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553: Is Friend's Fiancé Despotic or Simply Erotic? | Feedback Friday

Your best friend speaks glowingly about her fiancé, but she lives far away and your recent communications have only taken place by text and telephone. The thing is, this fiancé seems to be ever-present and listening in the background whenever she's in contact, and she let it slip that he's fantasized about seeing her lick from a dog's dish. You're worried he might be controlling every aspect of her life, but she doesn't seem to be distressed. Could what you perceive to be tyrannical oversight just be part of a consensual power dynamic they've established in their relationship? We'll try to find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/553

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Why are height and salary correlated? [Thanks to Scott Galloway for this one!] Is your best friend really being controlled by a domineering fiancé, or is this just a consensually kinky aspect of their relationship? Your ex-husband swapped out libido-killing medication (that treated his anxiety and depression, but contributed to your divorce) for cannabis and junk food. This seems to leave him with a loss of appetite, but how can you find reliable information to confirm what's really going on and help him out of his funk? Should you file an ethics complaint against your neighbor who's trying to sabotage your home sale -- after refusing your initial, generous offer to sell to them first?  [Once again, thanks to Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] How do you know when it's time to stop negotiating and accept the terms of a job offer without feeling like you've left some unknown variable on the table? You now make even more money in 10 hours or less per week than you did in 70 hours working for someone else. But how can you dispel the anxiety and guilt you feel because your supportive partner is still grinding out 60-hour workweeks? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at
2021-08-27
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552: Will Storr | Understanding Social Position and the Status Game

Will Storr (@wstorr) is an award-winning investigative journalist and best-selling author. His latest book is The Status Game: On Social Position and How We Use It.

What We Discuss with Will Storr: The evolutionary purpose of status and why it's always been important for human survival. How seeking status spurs innovation. The three kinds of status games we've been playing throughout human history: dominance, virtue, and success. The connection between low status and depression: why Will believes that Jeffrey Epstein did kill himself. Why you might choose a higher status title at work instead of a pay raise. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/552

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-26
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551: T-Pain | You Can't Auto-Tune Your Way to Happiness

T-Pain (@TPAIN) is a rapper, singer-songwriter, record producer known for popularizing auto-tune in modern music, and host of the Nappy Boy Radio podcast.

What We Discuss with T-Pain: Why T-Pain will wear a Fitbit over a Rolex, and why there's no shame in wearing fake jewelry in public. T-Pain's tattoo goals and the meaning behind the ones he already has. What T-Pain learned after avoiding time with his own family pursuing the ambition to be #1. How T-Pain went from having $90 million in the bank to $0, and how he climbed his way back. How a musician's life really changes once they earn a Grammy award (let alone two). And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/551

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-24
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550: Conscience Contorted by Dad?s Abuse Unreported | Feedback Friday

Your father was physically violent toward you and your brother on at least two occasions that would have warranted police intervention, but your also-abusive mother begged you not to call them. Years later, how can you reframe the anger you have toward yourself for putting up with your mother's manipulations and not reporting your father's abuse to the police when you had a chance? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/550

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Thought exercise: If you met someone exactly like yourself, what advice would you give them? How can you stop hating yourself for not calling the police on your physically abusive dad -- at the behest of your also-abusive mom -- years ago? How can you stick to your own weight loss goals when the people surrounding you (including your obese spouse) keep enabling you to make every day a cheat day? Are our review instructions clearer than they were? Please let us know! A friend passed away recently, and her husband (who wasn't on good terms with her parents) isn't on the deed to their house. Are there any spousal rights that could entitle him to the equity? [Once again, thanks to Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] As a college student, it seems difficult to develop valuable professional connections if you don't already have a job or internship, and it’s hard to get jobs or internships if you don’t have the connections. What can you do? When you've got a somewhat high-profile Internet presence, how should you deal with the inevitable (and anonymously cowardly) haters? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at 

2021-08-20
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549: Mickey Royal | A Pimp's Secrets of Mind Manipulation Part Two

Mickey Royal (@mickey_royal) is a former gangster, drug dealer, pimp, mob enforcer, and bestselling author of The Pimp Game: Instructional Guide and The Pimp Guide: Secrets of Mind Manipulation. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Catch up with part one here!]

What We Discuss with Mickey Royal: How Mickey's pseudobulbar affect and bipolar disorder came in handy as advantages in his line of work. What being deemed "capable" in certain circles means -- and why it's a networking mistake among criminals to turn your back on the type of job this entails (even if you've since moved "up"). How Mickey established The Royal Family -- an organized stable of prostitutes that ran with the efficiency of a Fortune 500 company. Why someone who's smart enough to make money through illicit entrepreneurial means would probably find outstanding success in the mainstream under different circumstances. How the mental toll of seeing people only from the levers by which they can be manipulated adds up and makes "normal" relationships difficult to impossible. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/549

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-19
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548: Mickey Royal | A Pimp's Secrets of Mind Manipulation Part One

Mickey Royal (@mickey_royal) is a former gangster, drug dealer, pimp, mob enforcer, and bestselling author of The Pimp Game: Instructional Guide and The Pimp Guide: Secrets of Mind Manipulation. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for part two later this week!]

What We Discuss with Mickey Royal: How Mickey's pseudobulbar affect and bipolar disorder came in handy as advantages in his line of work. What being deemed "capable" in certain circles means -- and why it's a networking mistake among criminals to turn your back on the type of job this entails (even if you've since moved "up"). How Mickey established The Royal Family -- an organized stable of prostitutes that ran with the efficiency of a Fortune 500 company. Why someone who's smart enough to make money through illicit entrepreneurial means would probably find outstanding success in the mainstream under different circumstances. How the mental toll of seeing people only from the levers by which they can be manipulated adds up and makes "normal" relationships difficult to impossible. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/548

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-17
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547: Stopping a Swami from Swindling Our Mommy | Feedback Friday

When your stepfather passed away and your mother posted about it on Facebook, an old friend -- a self-described "swami" who claims to be psychically linked to her -- called to reconnect. Now, he seems to be taking advantage of her grief and loneliness to get closer, and based on a number of his wild, unlikely claims, you're worried that his end game may be less than altruistic. What can you do to stop this "swami" from swindling your mommy? We'll tackle this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/547

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You worry that your mom's "swami" friend may be trying to take advantage of her grief and vulnerability since your stepfather's recent passing. How can you keep her safe from his less-than-altruistic intentions? You squandered a financial windfall in college on partying and substance abuse, which led to hurting a large number of friends and family along the way. Now you've been sober for years and you want to recover these relationships, but it's clear from attempts to reach out that many of the people you left behind are content to leave those bridges burned. What can you do to move on and let things go? Your brother, who died by suicide, should be remembered for how he lived his life rather than just how it was ended. You want to start a foundation in his name to help your community learn skills as he loved doing, but where do you begin? You worked hard to advance in your career, but a recent merger no longer allows you to work from home and care for your daughter. As a result, you've decided to quit and become a stay-at-home dad, but you eventually want to return to the workforce. How can you network and stay relevant during this time away and ensure your time is spent as productively as possible? You worry that your tendency to procrastinate could cost you your dream job. How can you stop putting things off and causing yourself unnecessary stress and exhaustion? Documentary of the Week: The Dissident Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at
2021-08-13
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546: Scott Adams | Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter

Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) of Dilbert fame revisits us to discuss his book Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!]

What We Discuss with Scott Adams: Is Scott Adams a Trump supporter? People don’t use facts to make decisions. They use emotion. Learn the three types of persuaders and how they operate. See how master persuaders move the topic to things they understand and can dominate (regardless of facts and details). Find out why master persuasion is effective even if the subject or target sees the technique. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/546

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-12
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545: Rachel Nuwer | Inside the Dark World of Wildlife Trafficking

Rachel Nuwer (@RachelNuwer) is an award-winning freelance journalist who reports about science, travel, food, and adventure for The New York Times, National Geographic, Scientific American, and more. Her multi-award-winning first book, Poached: Inside the Dark World of Wildlife Trafficking, is out now.

What We Discuss with Rachel Nuwer: What drives the global demand for resources cruelly derived from endangered wildlife. Why poachers and smugglers are willing to risk their own lives to meet this demand. The pros and cons of solutions proposed to stem the tide of this illicit trade -- from legalizing it for sustainable sourcing to synthesizing alternatives. Why governments are shy to throw the book at the worst offenders, and how the most clever, wealthy, and well-connected usually (but don't always) bypass legal repercussions for their trafficking transgressions. What we can do here and now to promote policies for preserving these species before they vanish forever. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/545

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-10
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544: Psycho Scammer Landlord Alert | Feedback Friday

You stopped renting from a violent, paranoid landlord as soon as you saw the warning signs, but you fear a future tenant may not be so lucky. Can you publish some kind of APB as a heads up to potential victims without getting in legal trouble? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/544

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You stopped renting from a violent, paranoid landlord as soon as you saw the warning signs, but you fear a future tenant may not be so lucky. Can you publish some kind of APB as a heads up to potential victims without getting in legal trouble? [Thanks to Corbin Payne for helping us with this one!] How can you overcome a lifelong tendency to be late for everything that infuriates everyone you know -- most of all you? How can you best encourage your friend get help for her recently developed eating disorder when her own family is not only unsympathetic toward her condition, but actively exacerbating it? You're a paralegal who enjoyed working at Firm A -- until the pandemic hit. So you took a position at Firm B, but find it less than enchanting after just six months. Now there's an opening in your old department at Firm A, but you're worried about being seen as a firm hopper if you apply. Should you go for it anyway? You've kept the stupid tattoo you got on a drunken night of college debauchery secret from your mom for 13 years. But now you're going on vacation together and you're liable to reveal all when you take your shirt off poolside. Is there any way to minimize the inevitable awkwardness of the moment? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

2021-08-06
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543: R. Douglas Fields | Understanding Why We Snap

R. Douglas Fields (@RDouglasFields1) is a neuroscientist specializing in the cellular mechanisms of nervous system development, plasticity, and memory, and author of Why We Snap: Understanding the Rage Circuit in Your Brain. [Note: This is a previously broadcast episode from the vault that we felt deserved a fresh listen!]

What We Discuss with R. Douglas Fields: What is rage, and what evolutionary purpose does it serve? What makes ordinary people “snap” — that is, react violently when triggered by rage? Can we control our urge to snap when rage overtakes us? Understand the nine triggers of rage. LIFEMORTS: the mnemonic that helps us identify when rage intrudes so we can get a rational handle on it preemptively. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/543

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-05
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542: Nicole Perlroth | Who's Winning the Cyberweapons Arms Race?

Nicole Perlroth (@nicoleperlroth) is an award-winning cybersecurity journalist for The New York Times and bestselling author of This Is How They Tell Me the World Ends: The Cyberweapons Arms Race.

What We Discuss with Nicole Perlroth: The startlingly simple reasons why most nation-states now resort to using cyberwarfare tactics before conventional weaponry in acts of aggression -- to increasingly devastating effect. How industries are so interconnected that there's almost no way for a cyberattack to target one victim without endangering countless others on all sides of a conflict (which is why you may have Putin to blame if there's a Cadbury chocolate egg shortage next Easter). Why leaving the security of 85 percent of its critical infrastructure up to privatization makes the United States especially vulnerable to cyberwarfare attacks. The massive amount of intellectual property that's been lost to hackers -- from the formula for Coca-Cola to information that would allow China and other rival nations to catch up with the United States in the nuclear arms race. What Nicole believes the US should do to push back against these threats and the governments that perpetrate them -- and ensure that it's not inadvertently one of them. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/542

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-08-03
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541: Spare the Pity Party; My Life is Just Restarting | Feedback Friday

Four years ago, you lost your spouse and child in a tragic car crash that you barely survived. Now, with a supportive partner and a toddler by your side, you're determined to move on with your life. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet new people who can see past what you've endured without pitying you. How can you truly enter your next chapter when well-meaning but oversympathizing strangers keep reminding you of your last one? We'll try to get to the bottom of this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/541

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Trying to move on from the loss of your family in a car accident years ago is difficult when everyone new you meet wants to throw you a pity party. How can you become more than the suffering sum of your tragic past's parts? You and your fiancé called it quits when she had a hallucinatory episode, wound up in the hospital, and came out with a bipolar disorder diagnosis. But you've each spent the past year coming to terms with who you are and you've considered getting back together. Could this work, or should you consider it a relationship that's sailed? A company hired you for one thing, then it turned out they needed you for something else, and their needs aren’t in alignment with your interests. Should you express your dissatisfaction to your boss, hope your next project is more to your liking, or just start looking for a new job? You've discovered that the work you love to do isn't the same as the subject you loved learning about at university. Should you feel guilty or ashamed for not using your master's degree, even though you absolutely adore your current, but completely unrelated position? How do you invite your parents' best friends to your wedding without them bringing their disruptive, social misfit adult child? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

2021-07-30
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540: Daryl Davis | A Black Man's Odyssey in the KKK Part Two

Daryl Davis (@realdaryldavis) is a musician, author, lecturer, host of the Changing Minds podcast, and anti-racism activist featured in the documentary Accidental Courtesy: Daryl Davis, Race & America. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Make sure to catch part one here!]

What We Discuss with Daryl Davis: How Daryl Davis, a black musician who was once told by a Ku Klux Klansman that he played piano "just like Jerry Lee Lewis," leveraged the encounter into a teachable moment that has led to more than 200 KKK members hanging up their robes for good. Why racism was such an unfathomable concept when Daryl first experienced it as a 10-year-old Cub Scout. How traveling around the world as a child with his diplomat father gave Daryl the tools he needed to sit down and relate to people vastly different from him. Why Daryl considers a missed opportunity for dialogue to be a missed opportunity for conflict resolution. The five values all humans have in common that Daryl uses to positively navigate (almost) any conversation. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/540

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-29
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539: Daryl Davis | A Black Man's Odyssey in the KKK Part One

Daryl Davis (@realdaryldavis) is a musician, author, lecturer, host of the Changing Minds podcast, and anti-racism activist featured in the documentary Accidental Courtesy: Daryl Davis, Race & America.

What We Discuss with Daryl Davis: How Daryl Davis, a black musician who was once told by a Ku Klux Klansman that he played piano "just like Jerry Lee Lewis," leveraged the encounter into a teachable moment that has led to more than 200 KKK members hanging up their robes for good. Why racism was such an unfathomable concept when Daryl first experienced it as a 10-year-old Cub Scout. How traveling around the world as a child with his diplomat father gave Daryl the tools he needed to sit down and relate to people vastly different from him. Why Daryl considers a missed opportunity for dialogue to be a missed opportunity for conflict resolution. The five values all humans have in common that Daryl uses to positively navigate (almost) any conversation. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/539

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-27
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538: Already Dreading Your Abusive Brother's Wedding | Feedback Friday

It's not a request; it's a demand from the brother who sexually abused you when you were eight in a family that gaslighted you about the whole thing: "You will speak at my wedding." Maybe he thinks you're too spineless to say anything that will embarrass him, but the truth is that you've been diagnosed with complex PTSD and the thought of speaking at his wedding at all fills you with dread. On the other hand, being the only sibling to refuse would also cause drama you don't want to deal with. How do you balance being genuine with not calling someone a cruel person on their wedding day? We'll try to find an answer to this and more here on Feedback Friday.

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/538

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Should you speak at the wedding of your brother who sexually abused you when you were eight, or be the only sibling to refuse and cause unwanted drama? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] If you have a physical feature that might surprise someone you're meeting for the first time (like, say, type IV radial club hand), how can you put everyone at ease and defuse any potential awkwardness ahead of such a meeting? In spite of going above and beyond in your leadership role during the pandemic, your boss "doesn't believe" in giving you a 5/5 star rating on your review because there's always room for improvement. On the other hand, you've been criticized for giving a subordinate a 3/5 for meeting expectations. If 4/5 is the best you can expect for exceeding expectations, how is such a system fair for anyone? Your dad spent 10 years in prison. You'd enjoy making up for that lost time by watching movies and other low-key activities together, but he wants to party and go bar hopping (even though you're under the legal drinking age). How can you get him to reel in his wilder tendencies that make you uncomfortable without hurting his feelings? At the end of the month, you'll be laid off from the company where you've worked for 15 years. If you're able to secure interviews for future job prospects before then, would it be dishonest to negotiate from the more powerful position of being currently employed? Documentary recommendation of the week: Made You Look: A True Story About Fake Art [Many thanks to Fruit of the Loom for its sponsorship of this segment!] Have...
2021-07-23
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537: Kevin Kelly | 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future

Kevin Kelly (@kevin2kelly) is the founding editor of Wired magazine and author of The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future.

What We Discuss with Kevin Kelly: Technology is an extension of the natural process of evolution. What’s driving technology; what will the future look like? Why Artificial Intelligence (AI) is the biggest thing since electricity. Ways humanity will interact with future technology and AI — and how it will change our lives in ways we can scarcely imagine. How technology will actually make us better humans. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/537

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-22
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536: Julia Galef | Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don't

Julia Galef (@juliagalef) is the host of the Rationally Speaking podcast, co-founder of The Center for Applied Rationality, and author of The Scout Mindset: Why Some People See Things Clearly and Others Don't.

What We Discuss with Julia Galef: How to spot bad arguments and faulty thinking -- even when the source is you. The difference between having a soldier mindset that defends whatever you want to be true, and a scout mindset that's motivated to seek out the truth regardless of how unpleasant it might be (and which you should try to cultivate). How to tell if you're making reasonable mistakes or foolhardy leaps of faith that carry consequences far outweighing the value of the lesson. The best ways to manage and respond to uncertainty. How your brain matches arguments you misunderstand with ones you've already decided you don't agree with -- and what to do about it. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/536

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-20
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535: Should Siblings Unite to Confront Abusive Parents? | Feedback Friday

You and your five siblings aren't close, but you all have one thing in common: you endured a childhood marred by abusive parents who played you against each other. Now that you're all adults, you'd like to unite your siblings to confront your parents as a group for some closure -- but you're not sure they're all on board with the idea. Is there a good way to convince them, or might it be possible to get the closure you're looking for without their help or even a confrontation at all? We'll get into this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/535

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Is it worth trying to unite your siblings for a confrontation with your abusive parents to gain a sense of closure? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] You've postponed your wedding twice due to the pandemic, but two very close people in your life have passed away in the interim -- and it's hard to imagine having this wedding without them. Is there a way to somehow include and honor them in the ceremony? As a middle manager, you rely on your second-in-command to lead the department so you can focus on admin. Unfortunately, he fails at every step and creates more work for you than he saves. He can't be fired, transferred, or demoted, and he refuses to improve. What can you do? You're a teenager living in a household with your father and a verbally abusive stepmom who doesn't like teens. You'd prefer to live with your biological mother, but the custody agreement as it stands wouldn't allow it. How can you convince your dad and stepmother that changing the agreement would be the right move for everyone? You consider your current sales job as a placeholder until you can get your master's degree in mental health counseling. The hitch is that your program requires your completion of a nine-month internship that would fall during your busy season in two years. What's the least awkward way of bringing this up to your boss -- who doesn't yet know about your aspirations in a completely different field? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at
2021-07-16
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534: Greg McKeown | How to Make What Matters Effortless

Greg McKeown (@GregoryMcKeown) is the host of the What’s Essential podcast, and author of the New York Times bestseller Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. His latest book, Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most, is out now.

What We Discuss with Greg McKeown: If you want 10x the results of any endeavor without putting in 10x the effort, it's important to understand your ROE (return on effort). How the disciplined pursuit of less keeps you from getting overwhelmed with unexpected options and opportunities that come from what should be the good news of success. Why, if you find yourself procrastinating on a project because it's not perfect enough to your liking, you should delay a bad first draft and create a truly awful zero draft. Why "easy" does not (always) equal "lazy" and what you can do to work smarter rather than harder to avoid earning the meaningless badge of honor that burnout has become in the modern workforce. Five questions to ask yourself before taking on a project that's in danger of being overthought, overwhelming, and anything but effortless. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/534

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-15
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533: Tristan Harris | Reclaiming Our Future with Humane Technology

Tristan Harris (@tristanharris) is a former Google design ethicist, primary subject of the acclaimed Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, and co-host of the podcast Your Undivided Attention.

What We Discuss with Tristan Harris: Why we're worth more to social engagement platforms as manipulatable slabs of predictable human behavior than as free-thinking individuals. How the social networks of the early 2000s so quickly turned from places where we could keep in touch with friends, family, and colleagues into disinformation amplifiers that contribute to the destabilization of democracies. Why your algorithm-tailored online experience so radically differs from that of your closest friends and loved ones, and why this is a problem when the public good is cast aside in the interest of keeping us engaged and enraged. The unintended consequences of allowing an algorithm to bring people together by what it sees as similar interests, and how this has thrown fuel on the disinformation fire. How attempting to outthink a social media algorithm is like trying to play chess against a computer that can look ahead and counter every move you could possibly make. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/533

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-13
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532: A Veteran Fights to Be Free from Smack and PTSD | Feedback Friday

You're a veteran who's been lucky enough to return home from war in one piece only to fight a new battle on two fronts: heroin and PTSD. How are you going to fight your way free of this doubly dangerous burden? We'll try to help with this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/532

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You're a veteran who's been lucky enough to return home from war in one piece only to fight a new battle on two fronts: heroin and PTSD. How are you going to fight your way free of this doubly dangerous burden? [Many thanks to Dr. Rubin Khoddam of COPE Psychological Center and Dr. Jennifer Mitchell, Deputy Associate Chief of Staff for Research and Development at the San Francisco VA Medical Center, for help with this one!] Your long-term partner has recently made it clear that he never wants to get married, which is at odds with your own expectations. It's an otherwise ideal, supportive relationship, but disagreeing on this subject casts a shadow over your future together. What should you do? You're a teenager attending a boarding school with peers you've known your whole life, but their toxic jockeying for position in the social hierarchy goes against your positive, perhaps more mature nature. Is there anything you can do to lift them up without being brought down in the process? You come from a family in which expressing feelings is forbidden, and problems are ridiculed or ignored rather than talked through. After 15 years of living abroad, you just can't deal with them like you used to. Now that you're visiting for the first time since the pandemic, you want to keep the trip shorter than they were expecting. Should you feel guilty? Your aunt makes a good living from her small business and wants you to take over when she retires in the next couple of years. But you have very little experience with running a business and you're not positive she's been on the level with her tax obligations -- which you don't want to get stuck dealing with down the line. How do you minimize your risk should you choose to go through with it? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at
2021-07-09
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531: Bob Arno | Schooled by the Professor of Pickpocketry Part Two

Bob Arno is a comedy pickpocket and criminologist specializing in global street crime, is the co-author of Travel Advisory: How to Avoid Thefts, Cons, and Street Scams While Traveling, and was featured in National Geographic's Pickpocket King documentary. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Make sure to catch part one here!]

What We Discuss with Bob Arno: How Bob, the son of a judge, got involved in social engineering and pickpocketing for the purpose of entertainment. Why pickpockets are commonly targeted by terrorist organizations for radicalization efforts. How diversionary crime like pickpocketing has changed just like every other profession during the COVID-19 pandemic. How Bob is able to get close to real-life criminal pickpockets and learn their tricks of the trade without winding up in the hospital -- or worse. The psychology of a pickpocket -- what they're looking for in an ideal victim and what you can do to ensure you're not that victim. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/531

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-08
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530: Bob Arno | Schooled by the Professor of Pickpocketry Part One

Bob Arno is a comedy pickpocket and criminologist specializing in global street crime, is the co-author of Travel Advisory: How to Avoid Thefts, Cons, and Street Scams While Traveling, and was featured in National Geographic's Pickpocket King documentary. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for part two later this week!]

What We Discuss with Bob Arno: How Bob, the son of a judge, got involved in social engineering and pickpocketing for the purpose of entertainment. Why pickpockets are commonly targeted by terrorist organizations for radicalization efforts. How diversionary crime like pickpocketing has changed just like every other profession during the COVID-19 pandemic. How Bob is able to get close to real-life criminal pickpockets and learn their tricks of the trade without winding up in the hospital -- or worse. The psychology of a pickpocket -- what they're looking for in an ideal victim and what you can do to ensure you're not that victim. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/530

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-06
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529: Qualms about QAnon Mom and Her Starseed Schtick | Feedback Friday

Your conspiracy-minded Mom subscribes to the tenets of QAnon, believes she's a half-human/half-alien starseed, and thinks Jim Carrey is playing Joe Biden in real life, and not just SNL. She's tough to take, and never respects the boundaries you try to set. Is there still room in your life for her? We'll try to get to the bottom of this and more here on Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/529

On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Your conspiracy-minded Mom subscribes to the tenets of QAnon, believes she's a half-human/half-alien starseed, and thinks Jim Carrey is playing Joe Biden in real life, and not just SNL. She's tough to take, and never respects the boundaries you try to set. Is there still room in your life for her? [Thanks to cult expert Steven Hassan for helping us with this one!] The closest friend you've ever had passed away earlier this year, and you've noticed yourself, against character, succumbing to overwhelming feelings of anger at unexpected moments. Does the rage from grief ever go away, or is this just who you are now? Disgruntled in your current leadership position, you've considered taking a lower stress, lower responsibility role where you don't have to hold people accountable. How do you know if you're making a wise move for your own mental health or throwing away an opportunity that will become manageable over time as you learn to adapt? You fell for your roommate. After a period of intimacy, she withdrew, citing a series of toxic relationships and a need to focus on her own self-discovery before committing to anything serious. You're trying to take this as an opportunity to work on your own issues, but the rejection still hurts. What can you do? You've recently applied for a job within your company. The thing is, a number of your contacts have applied for the same job and asked you for referrals. You don't want to damage your network by not responding at all, but it seems awkward to recommend other people for a job you want. How can you handle this delicately without sounding selfish or self-conscious? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at [email protected]! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter...
2021-07-02
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528: Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen | Undercover in North Korea Part Two

Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen (@UlrichTheMole) is a family man from Denmark who spent 10 years undercover in North Korea infiltrating its illicit arms trade. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Part one can be found here!]

What We Discuss with Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen: How did a young Danish chef and family man wind up working undercover in North Korea to disrupt its illicit arms trade? Why would the repressive regime that runs North Korea trust a young Danish chef and welcome him with open arms? How some low-status Westerners cozy up to the North Korean regime for the chance to boss around other Westerners visiting the country and the illusionary rush of power it gives them. The natural qualities and easygoing talents that made Ulrich such an ideal mole in a place where every move is surveilled and analyzed by invisible eyes from every nook and shadow. Why operating clandestinely in the DPRK is no job for a teetotaler. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/528

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-07-01
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527: Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen | Undercover in North Korea Part One

Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen (@UlrichTheMole) is a family man from Denmark who spent 10 years undercover in North Korea infiltrating its illicit arms trade. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for the second half later this week!]

What We Discuss with Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen: How did a young Danish chef and family man wind up working undercover in North Korea to disrupt its illicit arms trade? Why would the repressive regime that runs North Korea trust a young Danish chef and welcome him with open arms? How some low-status Westerners cozy up to the North Korean regime for the chance to boss around other Westerners visiting the country and the illusionary rush of power it gives them. The natural qualities and easygoing talents that made Ulrich such an ideal mole in a place where every move is surveilled and analyzed by invisible eyes from every nook and shadow. Why operating clandestinely in the DPRK is no job for a teetotaler. And much more...

Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/527

Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

2021-06-29
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