Nobody Panic

Best-selling author, critically acclaimed Austentatious improviser, co-host of No Such Thing As A Fish, and all round top egg, Andrew Hunter Murray joins Stevie and Tessa for a special live episode. Coming to you fresh from the London Podcast Festival, the gang discuss how to stay private in a world which increasingly commodifies, celebrates and financially rewards sharing everything you've ever done, with everyone you've ever met.

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Recorded by London Podcast Festival and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Stevie recently passed and has many thoughts. Tessa passed a couple of decades ago before there was an app. If you?ve been putting off booking your theory test because you?re worried about failing, or have it looming in a few weeks, this is the episode for you.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Can you believe how many episodes we've done and yet we've never discussed the hallowed tradition of Wassailing?! Unbelievable. As Twelfth Night approaches, put on your coat, grab a glass of Wassail, bring your choir, your piece of toast, your pans, your gun, the Wassail Queen, and head out into your orchard!

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Like a guided run, but for Boxing Day - whether you?re seeing family and wish you could stay in bed, or have woken up with the whole day ahead of you and no idea how to fill it, listen to the soothing sounds of Stevie and Tessa's voices to help you get through this sacred day of Box.

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Recorded by Ben Williams and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Oh. Yes. Lovely. One of these. Gosh. Yes. Thank you. Stevie and Tessa navigate the minefield of giving and receiving presents, discuss how to react to a terrible gift, what to give when you don't know your Secret Santa at all, and Tessa has an on-air epiphany about the meaning of Christmas.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Stevie has recently had an epiphany involving life goals and aims and would like to share her new thoughts on how to know what you want when it feels like you?ve got no idea. Spoiler: You DO have an idea, you?re probably just either a) scared or b) quite aims-porous and need to have a sit down with yourself.

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Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Tessa recently got tongue tied and starstruck in front of a very famous movie star. Ed Gamble was there and so came on the live show to help explain to Tessa how to be cool when coming face to face with someone who may or may not have been Paul Rudd. Stevie will never forgive herself for missing this interaction.

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Recorded by Soho Theatre and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Dear Listener, crap at writing greetings cards? End up putting something really generic or banging on for ages about nothing? Panic and freeze and end up not giving it to the person because what you?ve written is borderline feral? Stevie and Tessa have some top tips to get you through the blank page fear. Big love, NP x 

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Tessa recently got very nude in Japan and learnt some valuable truths about the concept of being nude. Stevie would like to know how to get nude without feeling self conscious. If you?re a non-nude and would like to free yourself from the confines of cloth then have a listen and let?s all go skinny dipping together.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Comedian Alexandra Haddow DJs super cool night Indie Amnesty and so pops in to teach Tessa how to put together a fun DJ set for Stevie's wedding party, after Tessa admits she wanted to create a 20 minute long track with record scratch sounds she can ?mime to?. Features many top tips on how to become a musical vibe merchant.

Alexandra will be on tour with her debut stand-up show 'Not My Finest Hour' from 27 January 2024 to 17 February 2024. For tickets and information head to linktr.ee/alexandrahaddow.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Dear Diary, today Stevie and Tessa did an amazing podcast on journalling. It was inspired by a listener suggestion, and the aforementioned listener wrote several detailed questions which they worked through in order and found to be a particularly helpful structure. They discussed bullet journalling, whether you need a nice notebook, Tessa's fears over being arrested for a murder she did not commit, and what pen to use. A great day.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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As a bonus episode, and as it's Halloween, please enjoy Tessa's Radio 4 stand up special 'Resting Witch Face'. It's all about the rise of witchcraft, and was created, written and recorded during lockdown, so please bear that in mind as it starts off a little unhinged. (But then it gets really good) 

A Tiger Aspect production for BBC Radio 4.

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Want to get witchy this Halloween? Don?t want to get witchy but would like to listen to a guided spell as narrated by Stevie, which turns out to be less a guided spell more a chat-thru with much discussion? Grab your sage sticks, light some candles and let?s goooo (you don?t need sage sticks, or anything, it?s a very chilled spell).

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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The internet sneers at no one quite as hard as they sneer at the autumn basic bitches. BUT! After much thought, Stevie and Tessa have decided to come out to bat for them HARD. It?s decorative gourd season motherfucker, get a yourself a massive cable knit sweater and get involved! 

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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The recent publication of Jonah's Hill text conversations sends Stevie and Tessa into a deep dive into learning what is a boundary? Was Jonah using the term correctly? (Spoiler: no) How can you use them in your own life? Are we doing more harm than good weaponsing therapy-speak? Fascinating stuff if we say so ourselves.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Award-winning superstar and all round fantastic gal, Rose Matafeo, joins Stevie and Tessa for a live episode on Lucid Dreaming. What is it? How do you do it? Can you too become a Oneironaut? A dream sailor? A night-walker? A master of the land where the veil between worlds grows thin? A very fun episode, though fair warning, things turn sexual veeeery quickly.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Everybody get in the car! We're off! Stevie (can't drive but about to begin lessons in Stevie's Big Autumn) and Tessa (can drive, doesn't care for it) unpack the emotional boot of the long car journey. Snacks? Silence? Shotgun? Services? Squeeze up, make room, it's all here.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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To roll or not to roll? Stevie and Tessa look at how to pack for a holiday, striking that balance between ?buying little packing squares? (achievable) and ?putting your necklaces in straws? (who does that). Contains some genuinely helpful advice and Tessa?s life is somewhat changed by the concept of laying clothes on the bed before they go in the case.

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Recorded by Ben Williams and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Well, well, well. Keys in the bowl everybody, we're really getting into the weeds with this episode. What is non-monogamy? What can it mean for a relationship? Psychotherapist, writer and broadcaster Lucy Beresford joins Stevie and Tessa for a frank and fascinating dive into the world of non-monogamy.

Follow Lucy on Twitter @LucyBeresford and Instagram @thelucyberesford1

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Heyyy just sending a voicenote because (cough) oh I forgot actually. KEVIN! KEVIN??? Ermmmmmm. Oh yeah this episode is what to do/not to do from one person who enjoys voicenotes (Tessa) and one person who struggles with the form (Stevie). Okay byeeeeeeeeeee.

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Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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It's a minefield trying to navigate the politics, drama and fragile emotions of joining a new family. Your partner is their baby! And now what? You want to snog their baby?! How DARE you. You are not alone if you are finding having in-laws a surprising challenge. Stevie and Tessa deep dive to the murky depths of in-law relations and swim back up with some advice.

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Recorded by Aniya Das and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Hey! Just reaching out! I know it's been AGES but just wondered if you wanted to listen to this podcast with me? hhahaha? Reconnecting with an old friend is hard. But everybody has friendships that fall by the wayside. Stevie and Tessa offer their best advice and conclude that it's NEVER too late to try to pick them back up.

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Recorded by Aniya Das and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.

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Stevie and Tessa?s excellent friend Ben Starr is only the bloody lead in Final Fantasy XVI, so he came in to a) explain how two people who are intimidated by gaming (and have only played the Sims) can ease themselves in and b) do his Clive voice which makes everyone both quite aroused and very uncomfortable.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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And why not? Stevie and Tessa tackle this listener request on the correct procedure for washing your face.

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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Okay, so you're Maid of Honour. This is all on you. But Do Not Panic! Stevie and Tessa are here with some helpful advice, thoughts, feelings, horror stories, and the general instruction that your role is really 'High Priestess of Vibes'.

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Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

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Brilliant comedian and professional poker player Ken Cheng joins Stevie and Tessa to explain the extreme basics of poker as their nose's bleed. The perfect episode for anyone keen to play, who simply can't grasp the concept. Stevie asks excellent and helpful questions, and Tessa keeps whispering that she's a 'brother from Langley', a very niche reference to Casino Royale which nobody enjoys.

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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There's more! In the second part of this two-part episode, Stevie and Tessa discuss changes, improvements, tips, tricks, medication and the greater understanding of herself Tessa has developed since her diagnosis. Obviously every journey is personal, but hopefully there's some thoughts and ideas here if you think ADHD might be affecting you, or you're living with/working with/in love with someone who has it.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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As a surprise to absolutely no one, turns out Tessa has ADHD! Who'd have thought it! Well some of you as it turns out, and god bless everyone who has messaged her over the years to say 'hello, not to intrude, but do you think you might have ADHD?' She does! You were completely right! The first part of this two part episode is a look at what ADHD is, what the diagnosis process looked like for Tessa, a lovely little 12 question quiz you can play along at home and a really long story about a moose.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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Stevie wears makeup every day and used to be a beauty journalist, Tessa rarely wears any and used to steal stuff from the beauty cupboard at Stevie's work. If you're fed up of watching tutorials and feeling inadequate about your skills, this is for you. As with everything, it's not about the makeup on your face but the makeup INSIDE YOUR SOUL.

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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Comedian and Ghostbuster James Acaster tells Stevie and Tessa how to quit social media in about ten seconds before having a nice chat about Twitter in general. Don't expect a huge amount of tips but certainly expect a rollicking good laugh.

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Recorded by Soho Theatre and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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Been asked to say a few words? You can do it champ! Stevie and Tessa work through their own experiences of watching and doing wedding speeches to work out the failsafe ways of wowing the room. First tip: you honestly don?t need to wow the room.

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Recorded by Aniya Das and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

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Featuring way more cry-laughing than expected, Stevie has read about how to make a hotel-level bed which leads to some frankly mortifying bed-based self discoveries. Mainly about duvets. A surprisingly wild ride for everyone.

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Tessa has recently knocked down a wall (see: How to Understand What a Wall is) and understands on a deeper level why everybody cries and gets divorced on Grand Designs. Turns out a renovation is much, much harder than she thought, and unfortunately involved much more effort than just buying a Barbie pink boiler suit and a large hammer.

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Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

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An absolutely fascinating episode with comedian Stuart Laws, the leading expert on his own vasectomy. Let's get right down to brass tacks and learn the hows, the whys, the whens, the 'sorry, what?!'s and the 'gosh, what's that?'s. Truly illuminating.

Find Stuart on Twitter: @thisstuartlaws, Instagram: @stuartlawscomedy and TikTok: @stuartlawscomedy

Watch Stuart's comedy special 'Stuart Laws Is All In' here

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That's it, just pop, pop your butt over here, it's wax time baby! Stevie has recently discovered waxing, is bald as a coot from head to toe and has a lot she would like to discuss.

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Oooooh look at these fancy people with their fancy manicures! Oh la de dah! Stevie and Tessa have got into manicures. Sure, this episode gets off to a rocky start when they spend the first twenty minutes Googling 'what is Shellac?' but then they really get into their stride and this one's actually quite informative.

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After recording part 1, Stevie was inspired to freeze her eggs and, perhaps unsurprisingly if you?ve heard Stevie talk about things on the podcast before, found the whole thing emotionally overwhelming. To highlight how individual the process can be, she talks about her experience (and cries a bit) (but is ultimately ok!).

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In part one Tessa has frozen her eggs! She explains exactly what happened, whether the needles hurt and draws upon an extended metaphor about an orchard. A hugely useful episode for the freeze-curious. Part 2 coming Thursday.

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Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

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Right. Bit of a left turn this one. But Tessa had to teach this to her teenage cousin recently and she doesn't want the information in her head anymore. She firmly believes that if you've completely failed to learn The Tempest all year and the exam is very soon, she can get you over the line in the next 30 minutes. Stevie has very graciously allowed this episode to go to air.

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Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

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Pens down please, it's exam season! Whether you're taking your very first GCSE, or doing your tenth Advanced Legal Accountancy Module (Higher Tier), exams are daunting and horrible things. But! Tessa went to an absolute exam factory of a school, and Stevie had one absolutely fantastic History teacher, and between them they've got some solid gold advice. Pens up! Turn over your papers! Here we go!

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Bestselling author and comedian Fern Brady chats to Stevie and Tessa about how to accept and embrace your awkwardness rather than sit up til 5am thinking about that thing you said in 2009.

Find Fern on Twitter: @FernBrady and Instagram: @fernfrombathgate

Buy Fern's book 'Strong female Character' here.

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Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Tessa helps Stevie (and you) cope with an upcoming 27 hour flight. As ever, Tessa's tips feature light criminal activity and heavy role play (spoiler: pretend you're in business class and serve yourself snacks).

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Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stevie has a ginormous chip on her shoulder and has been working hard to get rid of it. Tessa has less of a chip more a crisp. In this episode, they figure out how to stop their chips/crisps turning into baked potatoes.

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Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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You look lovely today. ....Thank you. See? Not so hard is it? Why is accepting a compliment such agony, why do we curl up like a shrimp the moment someone is nice to us. Why do we insist on shouting 'OH THIS I GOT IT IN A BIN I HATE IT' if anyone so much as looks at our new dress. Stevie and Tessa wrestle with the big ideas and then practice complimenting each other. This is a really good episode. ....Thank you.

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Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author of the Sunday Times bestseller, and frankly brilliant book, 'Really Good Actually', Monica Heisey joins Stevie and Tessa to talk them through her passion for hosting a really good dinner party. Longtime listeners will know we've tackled this one before, but the tips were mostly about lemons. Monica brings some absolutely banging advice. Also she's so nice. And the book is fantastic, buy it at once.

Find Monica on Twitter: @monicaheisey and Instagram: @monicaheisey

Buy Monica's book 'Really Good Actually' here.

Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanic

Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tessa has become London's premier E-biker. She constantly arrives late, dripping in sweat and needs you to walk with her to the designated parking spot so she doesn't get a fine, BUT she is very enthusiastic about the whole idea. Stevie has questions.

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Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Stevie and Tessa are joined by the amazing Alice Vincent, author of: 'Why Women Grow: Stories of soil, sisterhood and survival', to talk about all things growing. One expert and two people who have one massive cactus and one fake Gerbera between them, get right down to the roots of why we grow, and weed out the myths about gardening when you've only got a tiny window box to work with. A lovely, lovely episode.

Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanic

Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded by Naomi Parnell and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stevie recently went on a wet lunch (WL) and it changed her perspective on friendship, alcohol, time and space. Don?t know what a wet lunch is? Join in and get educated. A week after recording this Stevie Tessa and producer Naomi all enjoyed a communal wet lunch and agreed it was an excellent concept.

Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanic

Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded and edited by Aniya Das for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

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Inspired by a listener suggestion, Stevie and Tessa deep dive into the murky minefield of talking to your teenager about sex. AND WHAT A MINEFIELD IT IS. Obviously they haven't got teenagers, but they have been teenagers, and they have a couple of ideas.

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Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stevie and Tessa talk to Cariad Lloyd, Griefcast host and author of You Are Not Alone, about how to talk to a grieving friend. Do you send them lasagne? How often should you check in on them? What do you SAY? Covering the entire emotional gamut, Cariad gives excellent advice and is very balanced, Tessa cries throughout the entirety of the recording and Stevie remains a numbed husk.

Find Cariad on Twitter: @ladycariad and Instagram: @cariadlloyd

Buy Cariad's book You Are Not Alone here.

Subscribe to the Nobody Panic Patreon at patreon.com/nobodypanic

Want to support Nobody Panic? You can make a one-off donation at https://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic

Recorded and edited by Naomi Parnell for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/nobodypanic.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.