Zerberts, Sensory Challenges, and Crayons in the Dryer with Eric Tivers, Parent with ADHD of a thrice-exceptional son

Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Eric Tivers. Eric is an ADHD coach, and licensed clinical social worker. He’s the host of the ADHD reWired podcast, and runs the ADHD reWired adult coaching groups.

But in this episode, he’s talking as a dad who has ADHD, parenting a thrice-exceptional child who is gifted, and who has autism and ADHD. We discuss the challenges of transferring skills from work to home, the role sensory stimulation plays in his life, including how overwhelming it can be, and he tells the epic tale of cleaning crayons out of his dryer.

 

Eric can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com.

You can learn more about his coaching groups at www.coachingreWired.com.

And the reWired podcast can be found at www.ADHDreWired.com/podcast

Let me know what you think of today's episode by emailing me at [email protected].

As usual, I can be found at www.ADHDessentials.com. 

 

Show Notes

 

2:03    Hardest job he’s ever had

3:15    Son doesn’t know why he did, Dad doesn’t know why he didn’t

3:43    Planning and being “on” as dad

3:59    Son has always needed/gotten less sleep

4:34    Transitioning is hard because Eric is “state-based”

6:05    Getting home after son is in bed

6:44    Working on shifting gears

6:54    Adulting is hard

7:10    Making a dentist appointment

7:32    “ADHD is frustrating and comical at the same time.”

7:43    “…and I’m responsible for a life!”

8:13    Eric is grateful for wife and her acceptance of his ADHD

9:09    “Acceptance grows when gratitude shows up.”

9:23    Phone calls are hard

10:29  Supportive spouses supplying strategies

11:09  Filling tires and taking Adderall

11:55  The struggle to bring successful work strategies home

12:12  Environmentally-based to-do lists

12:37 Dad needs checklists and reminders for homework, too!

13:09  On the transfer of concepts from one environment to another

14:02  Generalization of concepts

14:11 Stepping back professionally from Autism work

15:24  Uncarved pumpkins

16:04  Needing a plan at home as well as at work

16:38  On trying to remember names

17:29  How to fake it when you forget a teacher’s name

18:23  Wild wife memory skills

19:00  Eric the hippy

19:21 Never enough time

20:10  Fluff only after 8pm

21:12  “Dishwasher moments”

22:04  Wandering assumptions

22:32  Undermined at the gym

23:12  Father and son podcasts and projects

23:46  Creating space for son to “let him be him”

24:05 Potty humor

24:33 Son is linguistically gifted

26:13  On Pokemon

28:05  On wrestling and rough play

28:40  Activate Zerbert-Tron

29:21  Teaching boundaries and body respect

30:13  The power and challenge of reassuring hugs

30:55  Eric opens his parenting toolbox

31:05  The row your boat strategy

31:29  Developing cues to breathe deeply

32:36 Meet them where they are, and start with sensory needs

33:40  Teach self-regulation strategies

34:45  Give Feedback with self-esteem in mind

35:42  X-Ray blankets and dentist nerves

36:14  Family visits and sensory overwhelm

37:45  Ending Essentials

38:46  Eric’s not-so proud parenting moments

42:37  Wrap-up