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Ask Christopher West

Healing from Pornography in Marriage | ACW136

39 min • 9 augusti 2021

How do you advise we teach our children the solid and clear truth about same sex attraction with mercy? How do I heal from my husband's pornography addiction? Is it immoral for someone to take birth control as hormone therapy if she is naturally infertile?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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Patron Question:
I'm one of the lucky people that attended the Theology of the Body 1 course in Madrid. It was both a blessing and a dream came true being there with you. I have a work coleague with same sex attraction, who has become a father through a surrogate pregnancy. Being honest, I don’t feel comfortable having him and his child visiting with my children, as I find his way of life wrong and can confuse my kids, but at the same time, I also think this is not merciful. He and his child are dearly loved by God. The children are not guilty of the sins of their parents. How do you advise we teach our children solid and clear truth with mercy so they can learn to deal with these people.

Question 2:
I've been looking for resources to recover from the porn addiction of my husband. I found good psychological resources that helped a little but I'm in need of something more. I have trauma because of my husband's acting out and it brings a lot of trouble into the relationship because my husband is unable to help me and support me. The psychological resources have a lot of ''focus on you first'' kind of approach. Boundaries, self-care, expectations of what a betraying husband should do to repair the damage done etc... As time goes by I feel more and more that I will need a ''sacrificial love'' kind of approach but it is not taught anywhere. I'm a little afraid of the future. I feel that I can't trust him and never will. I want communion with him. I want the marriage that God wants for us but I'm not sure that my husband thinks this deep. Aside from focusing on me and taking care of me, what should I do to heal, or at least be able to give myself the most I can even if my hurt is never healed?

Qestion 3:
Hi Christopher and Wendy! Thank you for your diligent work applying the Theology of the Body to Christian life. It has been such a blessing to me! My sister has a genetic disorder called Turner's Syndrome. It means that she’s missing the full genetic material for her second sex chromosome. Because she was born with this disease, she is naturally infertile and will never have biological children. As a part of her treatment, she has begun hormone therapy using birth control. Her doctors say this treatment is necessary, otherwise she could have more serious health problems from not having a menstrual cycle each month.

Here are my questions: Since she is already infertile and is not intentionally intervening with her fertility, is there a moral wrong with her being on birth control as a hormone treatment? I have talked many times with my mother about church teachings on contraception and my personal skepticism of the effectiveness of this sort of treatment. Do you know of any resources I could share with my mother and sister on alternative hormone treatments?

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Resources mentioned this week:

Matt Fradd

Freedom Coaching

Dr. Bob Schutes

[Pope Paul VI Institute](www.popepaulvi.com)

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Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.

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