Is the Woman to Blame? | ACW79

What is your opinion on the negative impact popular music has on the way men treat women? Are women responsible for presenting themselves in a way that does not arouse lust? My husband refuses to be intimate with me because of my dedication to the faith. What should I do?

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute? Become a Patron!

Q1: Frist, I want to thank you for your podcast. It has helped me a lot in my life. I am currently finishing my last year of college studying psychology in Mexico and for me to graduate, I have to do a thesis. The topic I'm investigating is the impact popular music has on male college students to the way they see women – how listening to some types of music affects men in the objectification of women. I know Christopher is a big fan of music, so I wanted to hear your opinion on the negative impact popular music, especially rap and hip-hop genre, could have on men in the way they see and treat women.

Q2: I recently listened to Jason Evert interview Christopher West for the Love Life Conference. I had a question about something in the beginning when they spoke of jewels not being the cause of theft and the beauty of woman not being the cause of lust. I understand that, but is there some responsibility on the part of the woman to present herself in a wholesome way? I'm not saying we need to wear burlap sacks around but is there some sort of line that's crossed between wholesome beauty and something else? I remember a girl in highschool wanted to go to school in a t-shirt with no bra because she said, "It's my body. I'm not ashamed." Well that's not wrong; it's good not to be ashamed of our bodies, but we also need to respect others in how we present ourselves. I would appreciate your thoughts on this matter.

Q3: About seven years ago I had a radical reversion to our faith. I have fallen completely in love with our Lord and the beautiful faith that He left us. I just can't get enough of Theology of the Body. The problem is that only I feel this way. My husband has no interest in the beautiful teaching's of our faith and is quite hostile about TOB. He says I have changed in the way we're intimate together and perhaps I have because I have such profound reverence for the gift of the marital embrace. I love my husband very much and I long to be close to him, but he says that as long as I quote "love my faith more than him" then sex can't be what it used to be. He says that he is very sad and there is nothing to be done for it. He isn't open to counseling. He often expresses resentment that I love our Lord more than Him. I honestly just don't know what to do with this. I want to have a loving, healthy marriage but my husband has shut down nearly all intimacy.

Submit your question at AskChristopherWest.com.

Find Christopher West on Facebook and Instagram.
Discover the Theology of the Body Institute.

If you enjoy the podcast, help us out by writing a review. Thanks for listening!

Christopher and Wendy hope their advice is helpful to you, but they are not licensed counseling professionals. If you are dealing with serious issues, please consult our list of trusted professionals.

Featuring music by Mike Mangione.