Deep in the jungles of Borneo, an ancient evil alien/dinosaur/Predator has been resurrected by a mad scientist, and it’s out for… cerebro-spinal fluid! Or something! This week we’ve paddled our way back down the River of Time to catch Mark Dacascos in 1997’s chimerical ripoff horror movie, DNA! Ash is an American doctor working in Borneo out of the kindness of his heart, until the evil Dr. Wessinger tricks him into helping him find a beetle that will make his cloned dinosaur killing machine nearly invincible. To atone for his mistake, Ash teams up with a pathetic CIA operative who advertises her job on her luggage and snaps pics for Instagram the whole movie. Once into the jungle, they spend more time fighting Wessinger’s goons than the creature, and end up resorting to a Nerf missile launcher to take down the killer in one of worst finishing moves we’ve seen in years. And even though a kid dies, Ash and Claire kinda sorta end up in love. Or something. The end.