A podcast that seeks to catalog all the good, bad, or just plain weird movies about Princesses (And Princesses-to-be)
The podcast Bad Princess Movies is created by badprincessmovies. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
We're wrapping 2024 with our traditional retrospective episode where we look back on what movies we covered on the podcast in the last year. It's our version of a clip show, but one where the recaps get interrupted by tangents about ceiling wasps and Pokemon cards.
Happy Holidays everyone, see you all in 2025!
Happy holidays everyone! In this episode we return for the third and final film in the Christmas Prince series, which follows Queen Amber and King Richard as they meander through their very own Scooby-doo-esque adventure. Curses, Christmas, and a third thing that starts with the letter C, this film has it all! So join us as we only slightly lose our minds talking about 600 year old curses, new york bagels, and the hangry seagulls that roam the west coast of Canada.
We're celebrating what remains of Nutcracker November by taking a look at Nutcracker and the Four Realms, a Disney-fied sequel of the original Nutcracker tale. Think of it as the Disney Descendants version of the Nutcracker, but with much less choreographed dancing (Which uh, doesn't bode well for a story tied to a famous ballet). Join us as we discuss among other things convoluted villain motivations, Nutcracker characters that don't crack a single nut, and being mommy's favourite child.
We're closing up the Halloween season with a slightly belated spooky movie: This week we're taking a look at Beastly, a modern take on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale. Beastly is no doubt someone's specific cup of tea, but it's certainly not ours (I guess that means we "Don't embrace the suck?"). Come and join us as we discuss among other things unlikeable protagonists, our own high school experiences, and the classic Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen bop "Gimme Pizza".
The podcast has finally awakened from our long summer slumber and we're doing a bit of catch up by taking a look at the movie Kristi selected to celebrate her birthday... which is not a Princess movie by any stretch of the imagination, but were it not for this movie teaching Kristi that bad movies can be incredibly fascinating, there probably wouldn't be a Bad Princess Movie podcast at all! So come and join us as we... well, as we mostly rant about the wild production stories surrounding Foodfight!, but we also talk about tiny plastic surgeons, no name products, and how Wayne Brady deserved so much better than this movie.
Get ready to sing and stomp some Goblin feet, this week we're taking a look at The Princess and the Goblin. This film is yet another childhood favourite film for me, but Bri's never seen it before so she's on board to keep my nostalgia in check. Come and join us as we discuss among other things goblins Queens and their stone shoes, magical old ladies and the threads they spin, and whether or not Prince Froglip should be put in the running for Tumblr Sexyman.
We'll be starting a summer vacation after this episode, see ya'll in the fall for more episodes!
We're celebrating Mer-May the only way we know how, by taking a look at a goofy movie about Mermaid Princesses: Scales: Mermaids are Real. This movie sure the heck tries to make Mermaid puberty seems like a magical thing, while also portraying it as an absolute nightmare (So hey, not too much different than human puberty I suppose?). Come and join us as we discuss among other things mermaid body horror, unnecessary ableist subplots, and how Disney did it better with their Mermaid puberty story, The Thirteenth Year.
We're finishing off our yearly look at movies featuring Prince characters with The Prince and the Surfer, a movie that dares to ask the question "What if Mark Twain was writing for a 90s audience?". This is yet another movie where there was potential to make a decent little family flick, but for whatever reason the story is unfocused, underdeveloped, and worst of all... the titular character doesn't surf! Come and join us as we discuss among other things single Dad's and the subplots that go nowhere, royals that act more like alien visitors than human beings, and whether or not the hoity-toity do indeed like Mini Golf.
It's April once again and you know what that means... all through the month of April the Bad Princess Movies podcast will be taking a look at movies focused on Prince characters. Our first Prince movie for 2024 is Mio in the Land of Faraway, a film based off a novel by the illustrious Astrid Lindgren (Best known for the Pippi Longstocking series). Kristi has a lot of fondness for this movie, but how does Bri enjoy the tale of little Mio in his adventures in the Land of Faraway? Come and join us as we discuss among other things Aunt Edna being the absolute worst, stone-cold villains and their frog-petting ways, and whether or not this film is best viewed at 1.5 times speed.
It's that special time of year where we celebrate Bri's birthday by taking a look at a movie of her choice, and this year she's picked the slightly infamous Quest for Camelot. This film was meant to be the crown jewel in Warner Bros. Animation's filmography, but a troubled production and a clear desire to be Disney (Without knowing why the Disney formula actually worked) turned this film into a box office bomb. Come and join us as we discuss among other things transparently evil villain's who somehow end up on the good guys payroll, axe-headed chickens who gotta go fast, and catchy songs that deserved to be in a better film.
Today's we're taking a look at "The Fairy Princess and the Unicorn", also known as "Bayala: A Magical Adventure", which is the much better title given that the titular unicorn only appears on screen for a collective 10 seconds of film time. This movie is based off of the Schleich toy line, and the toys are pretty cool so this movie must be as well, right? Well, sadly this film has a lot of potential but it just doesn't hold our attention (As evidenced by our many tangents in this episode). But there's still some interesting things to mention, so come and join us as we discuss among other things pastel axolotls, beloved crime scene tampering crows, and our potential career as Bayala lore theorizers on Youtube.
This week we're taking a look at Happily N'Ever After 2: Another Bite @ The Apple, a sequel to a film that we didn't cover because apparently I found the original film so uninteresting that I forgot I had even seen it. Thankfully(?) for us, the sequel film gives us a lot more to chew on, so come and join us as we discuss among other things sequels that didn't need to be sequels, terrible father's being surprised that they have to raise their kids, and my life-long longing to go to the Medieval Times dinner show.
We're back, and we're kicking off our fifth season with a film we really enjoyed watching: Princess Lost in Time. This film caught my eye with its really interesting premise, and luckily for me it delivers on that premise with a really well plotted, well paced film that's become one of my recent favourite watches. If time travelling Princesses' intrigues you, come and join us as we discuss among other things how time will (eventually) solve everything, giant stone ears who love to gossip, and Bri and I's mutual love for Tytonidae owls.
To prevent Kristi from having another Christmas movie spiral we're wrapping up 2023 with a relaxing bonus episode where we look back at all the movies we watched in the past year. Instead of celebrating the holidays with your family how about you join us for what is basically the clip show equivalent of a podcast.
Look forward to our new season of Bad Princess Movies, starting in early 2024!
We're celebrating the Holiday season by returning to the Kingdom of Aldovia with the Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. What better way to get into the holiday spirit than watching a woman be talked over by anyone and everyone in her life... yeah this movie was a bit of a slog to watch. But we're committed to go through the entire Christmas Prince series, so watch it we shall! So come and join us as we discuss among other things the scary amount of power royalty in Aldovia appear to have, New York Dad's and their hot-dog loving ways, and how the human-weasel Simon still continues to be the best character this series has to offer.
I never thought we'd see this day, but in this episode we're taking a look at the grand finale to the Swan Princess series! Luckily for us, this finale is crammed full of everything we love about the series: baffling story choices, weird tonal shifts, and those little glimmers of "That was actually pretty good!" that always kept us coming back for more. I wish this series never had to end, but I'm at least glad it's ending on more of the same nonsense I've come to love from the Swan Princess universe. So come and join us as we discuss among other things highly-conspicuous magician disguises, flying puffin dogs and the old men they frighten, and most important of all... the final status of the Rogers/Uberta ship.
We're celebrating a very short Nutcracker November by taking a look at a recent adaptation of E.T.A. Hoffmann's holiday classic: Nutcracker and the Magic Flute. This adaptation doesn't have a lot to do with the classic plot of the Nutcracker, but if you've seen a half dozen Nutcracker films before like we have, that ends up being one of the movie's greatest strengths. As for the movie's other strengths?... well, you'll have to tune in to find out. So join us as we discuss among other things scheming ostrich's with no qualms about moving dead bodies, Rat Queen's and their seemingly endless supply of sleeping potions, and how you can use the Phantom of the Opera as a way to judge whether or not you want to accept a job offer.
Boo! We're wrapping up the Halloween season with a spooky double feature! We're taking a look at two episodes from the Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics series that felt like a good fit for Halloween: Bluebeard and The Worn Out Dancing Shoes. So come and join us as we discuss among other things murderous bearded husbands who feel morally superior, magic shoes that exist only to fill in an adaptation created plot hole, and the scariest thing of all: Our aging millenial bodies.
It's the spooky season so we're doing our best to find movies with even a hint of the Halloween spirit in them, which brings us to the not-really-spooky-but-it's-better-than-nothing Blood of Beasts. Blood of Beasts is the third film we're taking a look at from Director David Lister, and it turns out third times the charm as this was the film we enjoyed the most from him. Does that mean it's an incredible film? Well no, but there are some cool bits that we'll be discussing in this episode. So come and join us as we discuss among other things odd beast design choices, Gaston-wannabes and their weird braided bangs, and what it takes to become Odin's special little guy.
This week we're taking a look at SpacePOP, a strange movie from an even stranger product line that we're assuming was created to try and get a piece of the Monster High demographic-pie. Just swap out the monsters for alien Princesses and you've got a hit on your hands, right? Well, not quite, but SpacePOP sure gave it the old college try, with a line of books, clothes, toys, make-up, and of course, a movie. So come and join us as we discuss among other things the "mystery" of how SpacePOP came to be, green skinned alien dudes and their anti-climactic makeovers, and our sympathy for overworked and under appreciated animators everywhere.
What do you get when you mix half of Klasky Csupo, a children's fantasy novel from the 1940s, and a dash of Tim Curry all together? You get the subject of this week's episode: The Secret of Moonacre. This film is one of those movies that kinda tows the line between "Good" and "Just kind of average", but it does have a special something to it that I think certain audiences would latch onto. Just maybe don't use Sir Benjamin as an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. Join us as we discuss among other things prideful prophecies, terrible uncles and the women who (Somehow) love them, and a completely unrelated tangent about a Christian puppet series that Kristi got weirdly fixated on.
This week we're taking yet another look at a Frog Prince adaptation, this time from the infamous Cannon Films. Primarily known for their low-budget action films, in the 1980s Cannon decided to branch out into the fairytale market with their "Cannon Movie Tales" series, of which The Frog Prince was their first entrant. Come and join us as we discuss among other things horrible older sisters and their mirror smashing ways, making your uncle king cry tears of joy, and whether or not Little Orphan Annie has anything to do with this film not getting a region 1 DVD release.
It's July, and that means we're celebrating my birthday by taking a look at yet another good Princess movie: Disney's 1989 classic The Little Mermaid! What else can be said about this film that hasn't been already?... Well I'm not sure exactly, but that's not gonna stop us from revelling in our childhood nostalgia and talking about it anyways! So come and join us as we discuss among other things troublesome teenagers, villains who unashamedly love being evil, and the overall warm fuzzies that this film gives us.
We felt like we could use a palette cleanser after nearly losing our minds in the last episode so we decided to take a quick sojourn into the much calmer Barbie film series with this week's movie: Barbie and the Diamond Castle. This one sits at the crossroads between the very much beloved early Barbie films of the early 2000s and the seldom discussed Barbie movies of the 2010s, so we're taking a look to see which side of the fence this film falls on for us. So join us as we discuss among other things stalkerish suitors, sparkly dogs that have no business dancing like that, and the distressing lack of a full villain song for our beloved Kathleen Barr.
Hot off the DVD presses, we're taking a look at the brand spanking new addition to the Swan Princess series: Swan Princess 11, A Fairy Tale is Born. This film takes us back 30 years in time to answer the burning question, "How did Uberta become Queen?". Well, surely it was someone's burning question anyways? Come and join us as we discuss among other things the blistering pace of this film, Uberta prioritizing dog shows over the well-being of her citizens, ghost mom's and the daughters who love them, and what's to come for the Swan Princess series.
This week we're taking a look at a seldom-discussed retelling of the Thumbelina story... seldom discussed because this film unfortunately just doesn't have a ton going on to put it on people's radars, outside of the star studded voice acting cast. Like so many of the films we profile The Adventures of Tom Thumb and Thumbelina has a lot of potential but unfortunately the final film falls a bit flat. Come and join us as we discuss among other things mole kings and their lacklustre villain songs, the time old tradition of slapping boobs onto non-boobed creatures, and whether or not Elijah Wood even remembers voicing this film.
Bri's back from vacation and feeling refreshed, so what better time than now to dive back into the Disney Descendants universe by taking a look at the trilogy's grand finale! Disney Descendants 3 is, in my opinion anyways, the obvious high point of the series... though it still has a few missteps here and there. So join us as we discuss among other things good girls gone bad, Disney's odd precedent for pairing up Maleficent with Hades, and Kristi being the only person on earth who remembers One Saturday Morning's "Stuart Day".
We're wrapping up the April Prince movie month with a glorious return to our old friend, Golden Films. Camelot is Golden Films' rendition of the King Arthur mythology, and is probably their best written film. Seriously, there's some potential in this movie! It's just a shame that the budget (And run time) wasn't there to turn it into a classic. So come and join us as we discuss among other things the connection between this film and The Last Unicorn, Lancelot killing 12 dudes and getting away with it, and jerk wizards thrusting unwanted destiny's onto sad men who just want to be loved. This episode also culminates in us getting extremely sidetracked looking up movies based on A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (A classic book we forget existed for a good 5 minutes or so).
It is once again that magical time of year where we celebrate Bri’s birthday by discussing a film of her choosing. This year Bri has chosen the 1982 classic: The Last Unicorn, a lovely little film that’s only getting better with age (And as we age too). Come and join us as we discuss the idea of being remembered, unicorns and the fair maidens that wait for them, and Steve’s strange fascination with what he calls “The Elton John Butterfly”.
I do believe in Faeries, I do, I do! This week we're taking a look at Faeries, a 1999 film from Britain that tries very hard to tell an enjoyable story inspired by Faerie folklore... but it unfortunately misses the mark quite a bit. There is some potential in this story, and it did manage to give me a hankering for more fun stories about the fae folk. So join us as we discuss among other things 5-minute engagements, conflicting but charming visuals, and some recent developments in the Swan Princess universe.
Well folks we've done it, we're finally taking a look at what is currently the final installment in the Swan Princess series: Swan Princess 10! That means we're officially kicking off our season 4 with a return to the usual craziness that the Swan Princess series can provide. So join us as we discuss among other things unsatisfying villains, the Rogers/Uberta ship, and the most important topic of all... we introduce you to our friend Steve and his penchant for cursing you with way too much food.
Before we jump into our fourth season we need to make sure the previous one is wrapped up! As is tradition, join us for a very chill bonus episode where we go through the movies we profiled last season, mixed in with a good number of our usual tangents (Such as, "How to not blow up your house when trying to kill a spider" and "Is Shrek a Princess movie?).
Look forward to our new season of Bad Princess Movies, starting in two weeks time!
This week we're taking a look at the very snowy Sailor Moon S! Specifically the original dub of Sailor Moon S that aired on YTV way back in our childhoods. If that wasn't a big enough hint for you, this entire episode is basically us waxing on about our nostalgia for Sailor Moon. So join us as we discuss among other things the pitfalls of television watching during the 90s, the weird plot points of Sailor Moon that we never really questioned as kids, and giving candy to cats.
To close off this year's Nutcracker November we're taking a look at 1979's Nutcracker Fantasy, one of the few Nutcracker movies I'm aware of that doesn't have anything to do with Christmas! Nutcracker Fantasy is brought to us by Sanrio, taking inspiration from the beloved Rankin/Bass style of stop motion animation. Unfortunately there's also a few particularly large speedbumps to this film that prevent it from being a yearly classic. So join us as we discuss among other things the charm of stop motion animation, dated stereotypes, and the strange baby dolls who leer at you from above.
This week we're taking a look at Barbie in the Nutcracker, a film that not only kicks off our 2nd annual Nutcracker November, but a film that kicked off the modern day Barbie film series as we know it! As with all Barbie films this one falls under the "actually pretty good" films this podcast likes to take a look at from time to time. I mean it has Tim Curry as the Mouse King, that alone brings it up to a solid B+. So join us as we discuss among other things mocapped ballet, hunky nutcrackers, and how Major Mint is a Major Jerk.
Boo! As in "Boo, there's not many Halloweeny movies about Princesses" so we're doing the best we can with this week's entrant, the dark fantasy Mirrormask. This film has quite the pedigree, having been produced by the Jim Henson Company, directed by artist Dave McKean, and written by Neil Gaiman. So why isn't this film more well known and celebrated? Maybe it's got something to do with the terrifying sphinx creatures? Join us as we discuss among other things the pitfalls of greenscreens, exposition witches, and tangents about Mac Tonight and Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Kids.
To kick off October we're taking a look at a very spooky and totally in-season movie... Swan Princess 9: Kingdom of Music. Okay so it's not really a traditional Halloween movie, but what's scarier than the producer's love for Jean-Bob, and the harsh reality that he's going to keep showing up in these movies? Join us as we discuss among other things weird American Idol parodies, how Prince Li is a much better guy than Lucas, and how much we enjoyed this currently penultimate entrant in the Swan Princess series, Jean-Bob be damned.
This week we're taking a look at The Princess Twins of Legendale, a little known Princess movie brought to us by MGA Entertainment (Better known for their various doll lines like Bratz and LOL Surprise). With that in mind you'd think that this movie was meant to launch a toy line right? Well, maybe that was the plan, but we sure can't find any evidence any dolls were released. Join us as we discuss among other things this missing doll line, macguffin amulets that may or may not be magic, and a brief tangent about who is the reigning Tumblr Sexymen.
We are on a mission to get caught up with the Swan Princess series by the end of the year, so that means we've got to uncover the secret of the 'Z' in Swan Princess 8: A Royal Myztery (Maybe the true 'myztery' is how this series is still going on strong after 8 sequels). Join us as we discuss among other things unnecessary subplots involving ghosts, gaslighting cats into catching rats for you, and repeated tangents about the movie Quest for Camelot.
We're back from hiatus to talk about yet another good Princess movie, this time we're checking out Disney's 1991 classic Beauty and the Beast (We'll get back to the bad princess movies in short order, sometimes you just gotta treat yourself by reviewing one of the best Princess movies out there). Join us as we discuss among other things amazing transformations, animating female characters, and the most important conversation of all: Gaston's chest hair.
Today we're returning to the Asylum's and their attempt to crib off the MC universe, we're taking a look at Avengers Grimm: Time Wars. It's almost a shame that we're unlikely to see another entrant in the Avengers Grimm-verse because Time Wars improves on the first movie by being much more baffling (i.e., entertaining) to watch. So come and join us as we discuss among other things Zapp Brannigan-esque Prince's, terrible old age make-up, and how much fun the actors probably had while filming this terribly silly movie.
A few months ago Pauly Shore took the bad movie side of the internet by storm with his memorable voice acting performance in "Pinocchio: A True Story". Thankfully for bad princess movie fans Pauly Shore also lent his vocal talents to this film, "My Sweet Monster". Come and join us as we discuss among other things Mr. Shore's singing voice, fake Prince's and the women who love them, the few highlights in an otherwise terrible movie, and the most important lesson of all: how you gotta have blue hair.
What do you get when you take the tried-and-true Cinderella story and mix in just a dash of that girl-boss energy? You get 2021's Cinderella, a jukebox musical that for a while was best known for its traffic-stopping flash mob featuring James Corden in a mouse costume gyrating at cars. This movie got pretty well lambasted on social media, but how do the (self-appointed) experts on Bad Princess movies feel about it? Join us as we discuss among other things unfunny mice friends, lacklustre dress design, and whether or not this film delivered on the "Girl Boss Cinderella" hype.
We're wrapping up our April Prince month with a real banger! This week we're taking a look at Freddie as F.R.0.7, a movie that is best summed up with the following Youtube comment: "This movie made a lot more sense to me when I was five". Join us as we discuss among other things uncomfortable flirting between woman and frog, which Canadian monuments an evil genius would want to steal, and why the stories you tell your son at bedtime maybe don't make for the best movie.
Wake up sleepyheads! We're kicking off our April Prince month by taking a look at Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland. This movie was stuck in development hell for almost a decade, so you'd think it would be a bit of a disaster right? Well in our humble opinions Little Nemo is a really enjoyable film, one of those films that is good with or without the sheen of nostalgia. Join us as we discuss among other things punchable clowns, catchy songs, and spooky doors and the nightmare-inducing contents within them.
Happy Birthday to Bri! In honour of Bri's birthday we're taking a look at a film she specifically requested: Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer. This is a film that carries a lot of nostalgia for Bri, but does it hold up decades later? Well, not entirely, but we still found ourselves enjoying this very cheerful, colourful film. Join us as we discuss among other things the talking white horses of the 1980s, minor villains that I loathe entirely, and the inanimate carbon lump that captured our hearts.
This week we're taking a look at Thumbelina: A Magical Story, an 80-minute movie that was originally a 26 episode anime series that ran from 1992 to 1993. If you've ever thought the original Thumbelina fairytale needed triple the amount of witches, a transforming sugar fairy, and a villain that would feel at home in an episode of Sailor Moon, then we've got the movie for you! Join us as we discuss among other things unrealistic standards for the behaviour of small children, frog marriage habits, and our intense nostalgia for bad 90s anime dubs.
This week we're taking a look at yet another nostalgic favourite of Kristi's, Jim Henson's Hey Cinderella. Coming to us from way back in 1969 this special definitely shows it's age but we think that's where a big part of the charm comes from. So join us as we discuss the Kingdom's irrational hatred of frogs, our favourite Muppet bloopers, and the general magic that surrounds Kermit and the other Muppets.
It's about time we journey back to Auradon to check out what Mal and the other villain kids are up to in Disney Descendants 2. Surprisingly we found this one a bit more enjoyable than the first film, but maybe that's just us getting used to the bizarre concept of the Beast's prison island for villains. Join us as we discuss among other things the surprisingly relatable characters, the villain kids left behind, and a brief tangent into Kristi's seldom talked about love of Sherlock Holmes.
We're kicking off a new season with a return to the ever popular Swan Princess series. This week we're taking a look at Swan Princess 7: Royally Undercover, the series' first foray into the spy movie genre (Don't worry folks, they make sure to squeeze a play on the "Bond... James, Bond" bit in there). Join us as we discuss Lord Roger's using small children to do his dirty work, the ever growing importance of Swan Princess continuity, and how goddamn annoying ropes (and removable hats) are to animate.
We're wrapping up the second season of the Bad Princess Movie podcast with another retrospective episode where we attempt (Emphasis on attempt) to talk about the past season as a whole. As you might expect, things quickly devolve into us gabbing about other topics, like childhood nostalgia and our beloved ReBoot.
Thanks for tuning into our second season! Season 3 will be starting up sometime in January 2022.
For our last episode of the year we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, a direct-to-video "midquel" that dares to ask the question "What if the Beast just continued being a huge jerk to Belle?". This is the third direct-to-video offering put out by Disney in the 90s and it definitely shines as an example of what people dislike about the Disney sequels. So join us as we discuss the problem with midquels, Kristi's love of the original film, and the saving grace of this movie: Tim Curry's melodious voice.
Nutcracker November is coming to an end and we've saved the best (worst?) for last. We're taking a look at Nutcracker: The Untold Story, also known as Nutcracker in 3D, an infamous box office bomb that Roger Ebert once said "may send children screaming under their seats". Join us as we discuss among other things odd music choices, Christmas-time body horror, and beloved magic pebbles that may or may not have been stolen by a famous German Physicist.
Nutcracker November continues with a look at the Nuttiest Nutcracker, an early CGI entrant from our old friends at Golden Films. The Nuttiest Nutcracker appears to be Golden Films' only foray into the world of CGI animation, and while it went over like a lead balloon we can at least give them points for trying. So come and join us as we discuss the possible VeggieTales connection, annoying characters, various animation flubs, and Bri's immense hatred for this movie.
Come one, come all, we're kicking off the holiday season with our first official "Nutcracker November", where we're gonna spend the entire month looking at various adaptations of E.T.A. Hoffman's "The Nutcracker and the Mouse King". First up is this 1995 entrant from Goodtimes Entertainment. This adaptation is one of the more faithful ones out there, which will provide a good foundation for the madness that is yet to come. So join us as we discuss adorable seven-headed mice, not so adorable Nutcrackers, and how impossible it is to steer a crazy carpet down a snow covered hill.
In our second Halloween-ish episode we take a look at Twitches Too, a sequel that... really has nothing to do with Halloween aside from the main characters being Witches. Join us as we discuss the aforementioned lack of Halloween representation in this film, unnecessary subplots, and this podcast's most frequently recurring topic: Royalty being royal jerks.
In today's vaguely Halloween related episode we're taking a look at Beauty and the Beast: A Dark Tale, a 2010 movie that seeks to answer that age old question of "What if Belle wore a miniskirt though?". This is an R-rated version of the Beauty and the Beast story that tries to lure you in with gratuitous cleavage on the DVD cover and the promise that a couple of peasants will have their arms ripped off (assuming that's what you're into). Join us as we discuss the laundry habits of medieval peasants, party city set decorations, and everyone's favourite Beauty and the Beast character: an exposition spouting old man named Otto.
In this episode we're taking a look at Dazzle, a 1999 movie that was re-released as The Fairy Princess: The Secret of the Crystal in an attempt to trick unsuspecting viewers into thinking that this movie 1. Featured a Fairy Princess and 2. Had some kinda mystery to solve involving a crystal. As it turns out, this movie has neither of those things, but it does have Maxwell Caulfield in a non-Grease 2 role (Which was a selling point for me at least!). Join us as we discuss dated 90s era "jokes", bad wigs, disastrous school plays, and much more!
In today's episode we're taking a look at Princess Arete, a thought provoking film that follows a young Princess as she struggles to not only find her place in the world, but save herself from a self-hating Wizard. Join us for yet another episode of "Kristi makes Bri watch a Princess movie that isn't actually bad, because it's her Podcast and she'll do what she wants with it". We'll discuss hopeless endeavours, unwanted suitors, and the magic that exists in the heart of everyday people.
We're celebrating our return from hiatus by discussing my favourite Barbie film: Barbie as The Princess and the Pauper. While there have been many, many Barbie films that came after it, none have managed to capture my cold-withered heart as strongly as this film. Come and join us as we discuss the overall quality of the Barbie film series, transparently evil Royal Advisors, and our intense 90s-kid nostalgia for all things Mainframe Entertainment.
This week we're taking our first look at Avengers Grimm, a film from the infamous mockbuster movie company The Asylum (Creators of films like Transmorphers, Lord of the Elves, and Sharknado). Avenger's Grimm mixes together two of the mid-2010's hottest shows: Marvel's Avengers and Disney's Once Upon a Time. Join us as we discuss princess costumes (or rather, the lack thereof) silver Lou Ferrigno's, and much, much more!
This week we return to the Swan Princess universe for the 6th film in the series: Princess Tomorrow, Pirate Today. Swan Princess 6 isn't as madcap as the previous films but it's important we give it a watch because from here on out the Swan Princess continuity becomes a tightly woven tapestry from which we cannot escape. So join us as we discuss Odette's patronizing attitude towards poor peasants, tonally weird Kitchen Nightmares references, Lord Rogers' easy-to-miss wardrobe malfunction, and much, much more!
Today we're taking a look at The Princess and the Dragon, a 2018 CGI film with so many loose story threads that we found ourselves weaving together alternative plots. This is one of those films that looks pretty decent visually but fails completely in the story department. Join us as we discuss the disappearing/reappearing Queen, the many baffling song choices, and my inability to let go of a DVD copy of Labyrinth once it's entered my possession.
This week we're taking a look at the infamous Cinderella III: A Twist in Time. It turns out there's a helluva lot more to this movie than that infamous moment where the Prince throws himself through a window (Though that is definitely a highlight, don't get me wrong). Join us as we discuss Anastasia's awesome character development, nightmare pumpkin rides, and the perks of being able to fit into tiny shoes.
In the spirit of April Fools the Bad Princess Movie podcast is taking a look at a movie featuring a Prince! Join us as we discuss the secret Kaiju movie Galgameth (1996), an odd little film that somehow managed to win us over despite the terrifying design of it's titular character. We'll be discussing the very unexpected history of the film, dog-hating villains, creepy monster costumes, and so much more!
Bri's Birthday is coming up! To celebrate we're taking a look at a beloved childhood film of hers: Don Bluth's Thumbelina. This film is kinda all over the place story-wise, and yet we both somehow still find ourselves loving it. So join us as we don our rose tinted glasses to discuss overpowering nostalgia, the 1994 Razzie winner for Worst Song, and much more!
This week we journey to the mythical land of North of North to learn the secret of horse magic. We're taking a look at Bella Sara: Emma's Wings, a 2013 CGI movie based off a series of novels which were themselves based on trading cards focused around collecting and caring for magical horses. Join us as we discuss the movie, novels, and trading cards (And most importantly of all, my love for Angela Anaconda)
This week we're taking a look at Toei Animation's The Little Mermaid, a re-telling of the classic Hans Christian Anderson story that beat Disney to the punch by a little over 10 years. It also beats you with a couple of punches straight to the gut with an ending that's true to the original story (AKA, extremely sad). Join us as we discuss our favourite odd character designs, the failed romance of the mermaid and her prince, and most importantly of all: Jemmy the talking cat.
This week Bri and I are left feeling especially old and out of touch as we take a look at Disney Descendants, a film that is in no way intended to be consumed by the average 30+ year old (But we're sure as heck gonna try). Join us as we discuss the Beast's prison camp for villains and their families, standards of beauty in the Disney world and our own, and most important of all: which classic Disney characters have been confirmed for doing the ol' bump-and-grind.
In this week's episode we're taking a look at Charming, a fractured fairytale full of potential that veers close to greatness but unfortunately misses the mark (Though it does win points for that electric hurdy-gurdy). Join us as we discuss all the things we liked and didn't like about Charming, including confusing curses, fun side-characters, and that aformentioned hurdy-gurdy.
To kick off our 2021 season we're taking a look at Cinderella and the Secret Prince. This film attempts to build off the original Cinderella story to create a unique re-telling all their own, but as we find out the patchwork quilt of a plot just leaves us scratching our heads trying to piece together all the loose threads. Join us as we discuss confusing prophecies, gentlemanly mice, and the all important tethercat principle.
We're closing out the first season of the Bad Princess Movie podcast with a very off-the-cuff Bonus episode where we talk about the past season (And any other topic that springs to mind). Thank you all for tuning into our first podcast season, you can look forward to season 2 starting up sometime in January!
We cap off our first podcast season with A Swan Princess Christmas, the first CGI entrant in the Swan Princess series released 14 years after the original film. Join us as we discuss the anti-climactic return of the series' most iconic villain, Prince Derek's burning hatred towards cats, and how Christianity apparently exists in the Swan Princess universe.
As an early Christmas gift to ourselves we're taking a look at a good Princess movie, The Nutcracker Prince. The Nutcracker Prince is a lovely little film that despite a great voice cast and some pretty decent animation failed to find a foothold at the box office. Join us as we discuss the theme of growing up, Roger Ebert's review of the film, and have a brief conversation on the best way to eat snow.
This week we're taking a look at Princess Castle, another entrant in the Golden Films filmography. Princess Castle is one of Golden Films' original stories and it shows, with it's very strange time-travel-but-also-dimensional-travel plot that'll leave you scratching your head as to what was intentional and what was just bad storytelling. Join us as we discuss the murder of sentient objects, villains adopting babies, and unnecessarily voluptuous bird friends.
To celebrate Halloween we're taking a look at Twitches, a Disney Channel Made-for-TV movie starring real-life twin sisters Tia and Tamera Mowry. Join us as we discuss uncles with evil plans, Canadian children's TV programming in the 90s, and the spookiest thing of all: Our aging 30+ year old bodies.
This week we're taking a look at The Legend of Atlantis, a joint-venture between Golden Films and Goodtimes Entertainment that attempts to answer that age-old question: "What if a giant red devil was the one that sunk Atlantis?". Join us as we discuss secret lairs, giant domes, and the secret lives of shape-shifting dolphin women.
What do you get when you mix the mind of George Lucas with a bit of pixie dust? You get Strange Magic, a 2015 box office bomb that failed to deliver on Lucas' desire to create a "Star Wars for 12-year-old girls". Join us as we discuss juke box musicals, love potions, and Kristi's newfound love of tater tots.
In this episode we're looking at Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarfs, a film that made headlines in 2017 with a disastrous marketing campaign that body-shamed it's lead character. Would you believe the actual film has a really nice message about loving yourself and others regardless of their physical appearance? Join us as we discuss the film (as well as our inability to remember the provincial capitals of Canada).
Content note: The topic of weight/body image comes up quite frequently in the discussion of this episode.
It's time for us to take our first step into the quagmire that is the Swan Princess series. Swan Princess 5: A Royal Family Tale, is the second CGI sequel in a series that now spans 10 films. Join us as we discuss ancient prophecies, impossible to take seriously squirrel villains, Swan Princess lore, and much, much more!
It turns out there's quite a few Anastasia films that were released in 1997. This week we're taking a look at one notable entrant in the Anastasia cinematic universe: UAV Entertainment's The Secret of Anastasia. Will Anastasia regain her lost memories? Will she fall for the charming Prince Paul or the roguish General Iconovitch? What's the deal with those magical talking instruments that are following her around? Tune in to find out!
In this very special episode we're taking a look at a good princess movie: the little known but very charming Rolf Kauka's Once Upon a Time. Tune in to hear us talk about what makes this film so fun (As well as Kristi's year-long quest to obtain the out of print DVD of the film).
In this episode we're taking a look at the podcast's first live action film, 2008's Princess: A Modern Fairy Tale. Join us as we learn a few things about the creatures that go bump in the night (and more importantly, their healthcare system).
Sindy is a UK fashion doll dating back to 1963 that celebrated it's 40th anniversary in 2003 with a direct-to-DVD film made with the finest CGI the early 2000's could provide. Join us as we journey into a world of evil wizards, unicorns, and constantly shifting birthdays as we take a look at Sindy the Fairy Princess.
Did you know that Filmation (Creators of He-Man, She-Ra) made animated movies? Or that the movies were sequels to classic Disney films? Join us as we take a look at one of those films, Filmation's Happily Ever After!
The thrilling conclusion to our look at The Princess and the Pea. We also discuss an interview with the director Mark Swan and find out some surprising information about the film's production company.
In this episode we're taking a look at 2002's The Princess and the Pea, a movie that tries very hard to mimic the Disney Princess formula. Does it succeed? Tune in to find out! Part 1 of 2
In the inaugural episode of the Bad Princess Movie podcast we take a look at the film that started it all, Golden Films' Beauty and the Beast. We also get an introduction to the whole concept of "Bad Princess Movies".
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.