Blank Check with Griffin & David

Warning - this episode contains an ungodly amount of Pacino impressions. Listener discretion is advised.

“Actor’s actor” and local boy from Queens David Krumholtz becomes the second cast member of Oppenheimer and first person immortalized in Griffin’s beloved Disney Emoji Blitz to guest on our Martin Brest series as we talk about 1992’s dire SCENT OF A WOMAN. Would this movie be less terrible if it were at least 40 minutes shorter? What if the original first choice for Lt. Col. Frank Slade - Jack Nicholson - had done this film instead of Pacino? What if we swapped Philip Seymour Hoffman for the charisma vacuum that is Chris O’Donnell? Sadly, we can only imagine these scenarios. Join us for lots of candid Krumholtz anecdotes, a scorching hot take regarding the diner scene in Heat, and more!

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In a first for Blank Check, Ben Hosley produces an entire episode while handcuffed and under threat of legal action. What else would you expect from a MIDNIGHT RUN episode? The great Alan Sepinwall returns to the pod to talk about Martin Brest’s fantastic cross-country buddy caper, a film that proved that DeNiro could do comedy and that Charles Grodin might be the funniest man alive. We’re talking about the unofficial Larry the Cable Guy sequel (?), the famous casting what-ifs (Cher!), and the magic that went into making this movie so breezy, effortless, and fun. We didn’t how good we had it back in 1988, did we?l

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An indelible synth theme by Harold Faltermeyer. A scene-stealing turn from Bronson Pinchot. A banana in a tailpipe. EDDIE FREAKING MURPHY. It’s no wonder that Martin Brest’s Beverly Hills Cop is one of the most beloved action comedies (and still the highest-grossing R-rated film adjusted for inflation). We couldn’t be more thrilled to have two of the hottest action directors in Hollywood - Bad Boys: Ride or Die’s Adil & Bilall - join us to talk about Brest’s blockbuster second feature, bringing all the expertise from their years spent developing Beverly Hills Cop 4. We’re getting into the Stallone of it all, the Simpson/Bruckheimer of it all, the Judge Reinhold of it all - while also taking some time to unpack the specific nuances that Brest brings as a director (as opposed to Tony Scott’s take on the sequel). And….yes. We talk about BATGIRL.

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After years of citing him as a potential series, we’re finally Brest men. In this inaugural episode of our “Podverly Hills Cast” series, we’re taking a look at Martin Brest’s debut feature, 1979’s understated and deeply enjoyable old man heist film “Going in Style.” James Urbaniak joins us to chat through the beginning of Brest’s career, and the storied personas of George Burns, Art Carney, and Lee Strasberg. Cream cheese and jelly sandwiches on toasted rye for everyone! 

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We return to the Wasteland this week with Furiosa, and we’ve got quite the tour guide. Kyle Buchanan - author of Blood, Sweat & Chrome, THE book on the making of Mad Max: Fury Road - joins us as we do a definitive post-mortem on George Miller’s latest. Going up against the reputation of Fury Road was always going to be an uphill battle for the Anya Taylor-Joy starrer, and we go into all the ways in which this film matches, exceeds, or misses the highs of 2015’s action classic. Kyle brings with him plenty of behind-the-scenes details and shrewd observations, and Ben and Griffin bring a visceral report from their 4DX screening. And yes - of course we talk about how Dementus looks just like Guru Pitka.  

Read Kyle’s writing at the New York Times

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Come join the dream parade, folks - we’re talking about Paprika! Mother of the Blankies Emily Yoshida is with us to chat about Satoshi Kon’s final film - a film that FEELS like a swan song especially in hindsight. In this episode, we address the elephant in the room (those Inception comparisons), dive into the serialized story Paprika was based on, and Griffin makes the important connection between Paprika’s “DC mini” device and this being a “BC mini” (series). Plus, we establish 2024 as “The Year of Dreams” (Kon and Lynch on Blank Check!!), and Emily, Ben, and Griffin discuss their experience attending a special screening of Clifford with Martin Short himself.  

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Please follow Hollywood Entertainment (the organizers of the Clifford screening mentioned on the episode)for upcoming screenings in LA (including a new residency at Heavy Manners Library), regular streaming programs (accessible everywhere), and a to-be-announced return to New York this fall. 

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They call them the Godfathers of Tokyo…and we call him the KING of TIKTOK (in an old man newscaster voice) - Reece Feldman joins us to chat about Satoshi Kon’s beautiful Christmas fable about a trio of unforgettable characters on the fringes of society. We talk about how animation is truly a medium and NOT a genre, as evidenced by this film. We talk about Ice Age (another animated movie where outsiders care for a baby). We talk about whether or not David might get roped into watching Ice Age a million times if his daughter finds out about it. And we talk about David’s pitch for a Cheaper by the Dozen spoof called “Cheaper by the Cousin”…?

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Our Satoshi Kon series continues with his 2003 film Millennium Actress, a moving exploration of memory, history, and the magic of da moviesh. Writer Hoai-Tran Bui returns to the pod as we discuss the strange history of Dreamworks’ arthouse animation arm (Go Fish pictures), the luminous screen presence of Setsuko Hara, and the added poignancy this film takes on in light of Kon’s untimely passing. Plus, Griffin publicly addresses the Penny Marshall debacle, and the gang contemplates a version of “Millennium Actor” with Clint Eastwood.  

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Welcome to the filmography of Satoshi Kon - a thrilling series of funhouse mirrors and puzzlebox narratives that proved what is possible in the animation form. The icon, the legend, the culturista himself Bowen Yang joins us to talk about Kon’s feature debut, the shocking and influential pop-idol thriller PERFECT BLUE. We’re talking about famous “bad girl” transitions in pop history. We’re talking about Digimon villains. We’re talking about obsessive fandoms. And, most crucially, we learn a new piece of Ben lore that involves a famous reality tv star.

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Our McTiernan series concludes with 2003’s BASIC - a film that Griffin thinks should instead be titled “COMPLICATED” - get it? Because there are so many plot twists?? The great BenDavid Grabinski joins us to chat about John Travolta’s run of big, skeezy characters post-FACE/OFF, McTiernan’s ultimate Achilles heel (getting too confident in his ability to fix impossible movies), the screenwriting career of studio wunderkind James Vanderbilt, and the truly terrible acting of Giovanni Ribisi. Plus, the return of Journalist Eddie Brock, our pitches for different versions of CHANGING LANES (which they should remake every five years), and our final McT filmography rankings.

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Finally, we arrive at the film that helped put John McTiernan in both “director jail” and “jail jail” - the incoherent nu-metal fart that is 2002’s ROLLERBALL. Zach Cherry continues his trend of appearing on episodes covering movies that led to actual court cases, and we do our best to try to explain what happened (both on-screen and off). Why is this film set in Borat’s Kazakhstan? What was up with the extended nightvision scene? Is Griffin insane for being a Chris Kline apologist? Plus - Ben learns about the World Nomad Games of Central Asia!

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What if there was a 13th Warrior? What if there was a version of Beowulf so grounded in reality that the climactic battle with Grendel just kind of felt like a shrug? What if Antonio Banderas was the lead in Gladiator instead of Russell Crowe? We’re just asking questions! Filmmaker David Lowery makes his long-awaited return to the podcast to talk about John McTiernan’s Michael Crichton adaptation, a movie that should have kept the title of the original book - Eaters of the Dead. Such a sick title! Anyway, prepare yourself for plenty of Banderas talk, a loving deep-dive into the famous “Banderas learns the Viking language” scene, and a reveal of some Blank Check-related easter eggs in Lowery’s filmography (!).

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A Fiji water bottle. “Sinnerman” by Nina Simone. That Magritte painting with the bowler hat. A SCINTILLATING, AGE-APPROPRIATE ROMANCE WITH TWO OF THE GREATEST HEIST SEQUENCES IN MOVIE HISTORY. We’re talking Tommy C (1999), baby! The delightful Amanda Dobbins joins us for her long-awaited Blank Check debut, and this episode is about as fun as you’d expect. Do we think this movie is better than the Norman Jewison original? Yes. Do we go long on the filmography of Rene Russo? Yes. Do we explain how Pierce Brosnan fit the Monet canvas into his briefcase? Sort of. Does Amanda know the plot of “Wicked”? Surprisingly, no!

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John McTiernan back with the Die Hard franchise after the spectacular flop of Last Action Hero. Bruce Willis and Samuel L Jackson back together after Pulp Fiction. Die Hard with a Vengeance is definitely part of the “we are so back” canon. Shea Serrano (who owns every McTiernan movie on VHS) joins us to chat about this explosive action threequel that features a surprising amount of New York theater actors and a bunch of childhood games and riddles. Also, you don’t need us to tell you this but - Jeremy Irons hot. Also cool.

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You either love this movie or you hate it, and guess what - we’re landing all over the LOST ACTION HERO spectrum this episode! Paul Scheer & Jason Mantzoukas join us once again for a clock-busting, rip-roaring time, and we’re unpacking all of this movie’s meta madness.  Is John McTiernan able to parody his own work? Should the kid have actually killed people in this movie (as in the original, edgier script)? Will David have an aneurysm if this episode recording doesn’t end at a reasonable time?

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And if anyone has what Jason is looking for, email [email protected] and well get it to him. 

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Oh baby, this one’s a STINKER! Sean Connery finds the cure for cancer but then he loses it (??). Lorraine Bracco delivers all of her dialogue like someone making a comment and not asking a question at a Q&A. They’re both playing scientists - but where’s the CHEMISTRY?? Comedian and writer Jamie Lee returns to Blank Check to talk about John McTiernan’s attempt at a serious adult drama, 1992’s MEDICINE MAN. We spend most of the episode trying to recast this movie to make it somewhat palatable. But the musical score is great!

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We love da submarinesh! Host of “Unclear and Present Danger” Jamelle Bouie joins us this week to talk about middle aged white guys, airport novels, and naval recruitment propaganda. That’s right - we’re talking about John McTiernan’s adaptation of Tom Clancy’s THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER! Come for our thesis on why Alec Baldwin played the best version of Jack Ryan, stay for Ben and Jamelle’s impassioned pleas for a Highlander patreon series. And of course, there will be Connery impressions.

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The pomp. The pageantry. The awkwardness of trying to shoehorn any of this year’s Oscar nominees into “Moon River” - that’s right, folks. The Blankies (and host Griffy Crystal) are back! Joe Reid of “This Had Oscar Buzz” joins us once again to celebrate the momentous year in cinema that was 2023. We’re handing out fake awards, making outrageous claims, and we’ve got a special musical performance that brings the house down. Enjoy!

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Thirty-six floors. Thirteen (fake) terrorists. One perfect action movie. Kevin Smith - who was in a Die Hard movie AND directed Alan Rickman in DOGMA -  joins us again for a supersized episode on McTiernan’s signature film. We’re getting into Bruce's wine cooler commercials. We reveal the surprising Shakespeare play that influenced McTiernan’s direction of this story. We’re nerding out about the spatial and organizational PERFECTION that makes it such a classic. And we’re paying loving homage to two screen presences whose careers ended tragically too soon. 

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GET TO THE CHOPPA! Griffin attempts his best (actually, worst) Arnold voice this week as we head to the jungle with Jon Gabrus and some bic razors. For almost three hours, we’re dissecting every little bit of PREDATOR - the glow-stick goo alien blood, the Alan Silvestri score, Arnold’s calves, Arnold’s biceps, Arnold’s long red polo shirt, Arnold’s chiseled cheekbones, the way Arnold says KILL ME!!! - you can expect lots of Arnold talk. 

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Okay, action freaks! We’re kicking off our John McTiernan miniseries - POD HARD WITH A VENGECAST - with a film that is not at all indicative of the greatness to come. Nomads! A movie where Pierce Brosnan attempts a garbage French accent and is terrified by some punks in a van. That’s kind of the whole thing. Anyway - get ready for a spirited conversation about plenty of other topics, like: the filmography of Tom Shadyac! John McTiernan’s super cool dad! Gerard Depardieu’s face! The strict rules of Julliard! The 1976 Academy Awards! And more! 

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If Yentl was about connecting with her absent father, and The Prince of Tides was about forgiving her difficult mother, The Mirror Has Two Faces is just about BARBRA! Who Weekly’s Bobby Finger and Lindsay Weber join us as we close out our Streisand series with her final film, a strange Frankenstein of a Judd Apatow, Albert Brooks, and Nora Ephron romcom. Should Lauren (“Betty”) Bacall have won the Oscar that year? Should Pierce Brosnan and Jeff Bridges have swapped roles? Is “the perfect bite” the ideal romcom concept? Is Barbra Streisand actually lazy, as she claims she is? Do we have any listeners who keep snoballs in their drawers?

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Can you hear the crawdads sing? Or is that just our Nick Nolte impression? Our favorite Carolinian Katey Rich joins us to chat about Streisand’s 1991 adaptation of Pat Conroy’s bugnuts novel, a story that includes some serious ethical breaches made by alluring therapist Susan Lowenstein. Listen along as Katey shares some tidbits from the book that did NOT make the screen adaptation (a tiger, for example), Griffin relates to Jason Gould’s attempts to be sporty, and David offers his hot take that this is a better 90s therapy movie than Good Will Hunting.  

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Surprise! In a first for Blank Check, we're dropping a bonus main-feed episode featuring a conversation with an Academy Award-nominated star of the film we just covered. The great Amy Irving joins us for a fun conversation about her career highs and lows, the behind-the-scenes YENTL gossip, and Ben's buried jeans. That's right, we have to explain Ben's denim thing to Amy Irving.

Follow Amy on IG @amyirvingofficial AND checkout her album "Born In A Trunk" on Spotify, Apple Music, Bandcamp or wherever you get music!

To witness the Buried Jeans™ in 3D and the rest of the 2024 collection goto congratyoulations.com

Plus, it's never too late to check out the Slow Xmas 2023 holiday music compilation now on Spotify, Apple Music, Bandcamp or wherever you get music!

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Podcast, can you hear me?” We certainly can, Barbra! The very menschy Jordan Hoffman joins us to chat about Streisand’s official directorial debut, a marvel of a film that makes anyone describing it sound insane. Yes, Barbra wrote, directed, produced, and starred in a period piece about a shtetl girl who crossdresses in order to study the Talmud. Yes, the film is a musical with songs composed by Michel Legrand. Yes, Barbra is the only person who sings in it, despite the male lead being Broadway legend Mandy Patinkin. Yes, Steven Spielberg called this movie “the greatest directorial debut since CITIZEN KANE.” Yes, we think Barbra should enter the MCU and direct Ant Man 4. Wait, what?

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Hello Gorgeous! We’re kicking off our Barbra Streisand series (titled “Podcastl,” naturally) with a look at her version of the classic Hollywood cautionary tale - 1976’s A STAR IS BORN. And who better to join us than our own songbird superstar - the lovely Rachel Zegler! While Babs didn’t technically direct this one, she and her partner Jon Peters (Bradley Cooper in LICORICE PIZZA, duh) exacted supreme creative control over the project - to mixed results. Join us as we trace the beginning of Streisand’s career, go down several rabbit holes of who else was considered for this movie (Elvis, Sonny and Cher), and speak fondly about Mariah Carey’s GLITTER. Because, why not?!

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Vroom vroom! Michael Mann is BACK. Bilge Ebiri is BACK. How do you say “we’re so back” in Italian? Join us as we talk about cars that go fast (Ferraris), hair that grows long (Adam Driver’s, normally), faces that have seen smart phones (Shailene Woodley’s) and character actors that could have been in this movie (Paul Giamatti, but specifically as Pig Vomit). Masculinity is a cage, machines that work the best are the most beautiful, and we all think that the Mille Miglia seems like a bad idea. No grazie!

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We’re closing out 2023 with two words - Wet. Chocolate. Join us as we bid farewell to the DCEU, say “hello fennel” to Timothée Chalamet, and bring our craziest unhinged, “end of school year” energy to two very different new releases. Orm.

Check out Matt Singer’s Wonka Themed IHOP menu article.

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The music! The makeup! The MAESTRO! We’re diving into Bradley Cooper’s Leonard Bernstein biopic, the result of his post-A STAR IS BORN Blank Check, and we’re getting personal, emotional, and pretty ridiculous. Who does Griffin’s Bernstein impression sound like (because it certainly doesn’t sound like Bernstein)? What is Ben’s familial connection to the Maestro? Will Marie ever forgive Griffin for inviting Bobby Wagner on a date to visit Bradley Cooper’s Philly cheesesteak truck instead of her? Will David ever forgive Griffin for comparing the Maestro to Will Smith?

Theme music by Alex Barron

Music selection "We Three Kings" by Amy Irving, Goolis, Aaron Is Your Friend from Slow Xmas 3.

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It took seven years for Hayao Miyazaki and the artists at Studio Ghibli to make THE BOY AND THE HERON. What better way to honor that lengthy process than to invite JD Amato back for another clockbusting, context-loaded episode?! For a rather bit-free THREE-AND-A-HALF HOURS, we are diving into Miyazaki’s personal history, his creative process, the differing animation styles between the Ghibli greats, and the thematic implications of this beautiful new film. Because this is Blank Check, we’ve also got lots of thoughts on Robert Pattinson’s vocal performance, and a lot to say about some other, less-successful animated films released this year.

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Mamma mia! We’ve got-a some-a sleepy pasta for-a you to taste-a this-a week! In our latest, much-awaited installment of PORCH CLASSICS, we’re handing the reins to Producer Ben, who has chosen to spotlight a forgotten comedy about “the world’s horniest pizza man who cannot die.” Lawrence Kasdan’s I LOVE YOU TO DEATH is a feast of bizarre performances (Italian-face Kevin Kline, Serb-face Joan Plowright, Stoner-face William Hurt) and tonal miscalculations. All this to say - it’s a very FUN movie to talk about.

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We’re wrapping up our Fincher series with his latest release - a stripped-down, gig-economy hitman thriller - THE KILLER. Is Michael Fassbender’s unnamed hitman actually good at his job, or a total goober? How do your friends at Blank Check feel about The Smiths? Where do the Two Friends put MANK in their final Fincher rankings? And - is Griffin okay, or has he fallen too deep inside the Gaylor Swift rabbit hole?

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Nerts! Are you folks ready to get MANK-PILLED? We advise that you start by “mankro-dosing” David Fincher’s 2020 exploration of the life and times of cantankerous screenwriter Herman J. Mankiewicz. The Big Picture’s Sean Fennessey joins us to chat about Fincher’s first Netflix feature, and we’re asking all the important questions. Would this film have a better reputation if it had been titled “manK!” ? Will there be a film made 40 years from now entitled “SORK” about Aaron Sorkin, David Fincher, Mark Zuckerberg, and the making of THE SOCIAL NETWORK? Is Mank the “Jabba the Hut of cynicism”? Will Griffin use this episode as another excuse to talk about The Offer?

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“Amazing Amy” meets “Awkwardly-Smiling Affleck” in Fincher’s darkly comic masterpiece - an instant classic from that first shot of Rosamund Pike’s pretty head. The delightful Esther Zuckerman (who will definitely NOT “gone girl” her boyfriend) joins us to discuss this impressive work of adaptation. We’re asking all the big questions - is “Amazing Amy” actually a good children’s book? Did Tyler Perry take any directing tips from David Fincher when he made BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN? Would this movie work as well with Reese Witherspoon and Jon Hamm as the two leads? Why haven’t we gone long on the career of one Benjamin G. Affleck yet?

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? More like The Girl Who Go On Computer! The Girl with the Fruit Tattoo - Fran Hoepfner - joins us as we dive into Fincher’s 2011 Nordic noir. How does Fincher’s take on Stieg Larsson’s international best-seller compare with the original Swedish version? What does Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander have in common with ET? Does Christopher Plummer have the greatest octogenarian acting decade of all time? WHEN WILL BEN HOSLEY MAKE HIS WITCH HACKER MOVIE?

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Let us take a walk down memory lane to when the Metaverse was but a twinkle in Zuck’s eye, to when Aaron Sorkin was just a much-respected writer and not yet a (groan) director…to when the idea of a prestige film about millennial tech bros seemed like a ludicrous proposition. My, how times have changed! THE SOCIAL NETWORK is one of the most influential and consequential films of the 21st Century - prescient, quotable, and eminently rewatchable. You know what’s cooler than a two hour podcast? A THREE HOUR PODCAST. You’re welcome, nerds.

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2007’s THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON is a film that dares to ask the question, “What if he baby but old?” Despite the meme-ification of David Fincher’s trip to the uncanny valley, we are pleased to make our belated case for why this movie is GOOD, actually, and in step with the themes of Da Finch Man’s body of work - not a sappy outlier. Vanity Fair’s Richard Lawson returns to the podcast as we all grapple with mortality, wistfully opine about tugboats, and develop an absurd running bit about late character actor Orson Bean (who is not in this movie). Did you know Producer Ben has been struck by lightning seven times?

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This is the Zodiac speaking. I have recorded this podcast episode with Griffin, David, and the genius Leslye Headland because I am tired of the tangents on every other episode so far this Fincher series. With this episode, we’re getting into the CRAFT, the OBSESSION, the MADNESS, the MINUTIAE of David Fincher’s Gordian knot of a true crime mystery. What is the scariest scene in ZODIAC? Which of the three main actors gives the best performance? Are Aqua Velvas good? Like my identity, there is no definitive answer to these questions. The untangling is the juice, baby!

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We’re scootin’ through some wild Manhattan real estate this week and locking ourselves into David Fincher’s PANIC ROOM with the wonderful Eva Anderson! Can you believe that Jodie Foster wasn’t even supposed to be in this movie? And that David Fincher was the one who braided Jared Leto’s cornrows? Just kidding about that last one. Come for Griffin’s formative crush on young Kristen Stewart, stay for the inexplicable amount of talk about “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” - a show that has absolutely nothing to do with this movie.

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The first rule of Fight Club? Don’t talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club? DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. For those of you who like following the rules, we have an edited version of this episode available on Patreon wherein we do NOT talk about the seminal 1999 film FIGHT CLUB. But for the rest of you sickos, we’ve got a supersized episode with Project Mayhem’s own Alex Ross Perry. In this episode, we discuss our picks for the iconic DVDs of the “DVD era”, dive into the career of SERIOUS ACTOR Edward Norton, wonder what this movie would have been like with Janeane Garofalo as Marla Singer, and reveal the very dumb reason why Fred Durst is a playable character in the Fight Club video game.

This episode is sponsored by:

NO ONE BECAUSE WE ARE NOT OUR JOBS. WE ARE NOT OUR ADVERTISERS. HIS NAME IS ROBERT PAULSON.

Music by The Orgs

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Congratulations! If you are listening to this episode, it means you’ve discovered the key in the mouth of the wooden clown we placed in your driveway. Actor, musician, and handsome man Brendan Hines joins us this week as we lead you on an immersive, life-changing experience through David Fincher’s The Game. We understand you may have some questions. How much did this whole thing cost? Is cocaine a requirement for every Michael Douglas movie? What’s Deborah Kara Unger up to these days? Did Charles Martinet say “it’s a-meeee, daddio!” when he jumped off the roof? We will try our best to answer these enquiries, but please note that CRS is not liable to disclose all of its innerworkings to clients.

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Who loves Da Finchman? These guys do! MTV Movie Award-losing duo Mitch and Nick of the Doughboys join us to talk about David Fincher’s breakthrough hit - the nasty noir SE7EN. What can you expect from this episode? Lots of talk about “playground rumors” related to what this movie does and doesn’t actually show, a full taxonomy of Kevin Spacey’s on-screen persona, the true identity of the Zodiac killer, and a VERY Doughboys description of the film’s “gluttony” murder.

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The time has come for us to talk about one of the most successful, most influential, most respected American filmmakers of the past 30 years. That’s right, we’re talking about the director of ALIEN3, David “Da Finchman” Fincher! We’re kicking off “The Curious Pod of Benjamin Buttcast” in style, pressing play on our Alien Quadrilogy Blu-Ray with guest Matt Singer - and you better believe we’re watching the “extended cut” in “Mu-th-ur Mode”! Join us as we give some light background on young “Dave” Fincher, alleged neighbor of George Lucas and director of Madonna music videos and smoking fetus PSAs. We’re going long on the troubled production of ALIEN 3 - a franchise film that has such disdain for its audience that we can’t help but love and respect it. No Newt? NO PROBLEMO. Do you want to do the dance with Charles Dance? So do we!

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Decision to Leave? More like, decision to watch a good movie! EMMY AWARD WINNER (but more importantly, David Sims Best Supporting Actress Nominee of 2017) joins us to discuss Park’s most recent film, a romantic noir that gets text messaging absolutely right. We’re getting into everything, from the complexities of Tang Wei’s performance, to the concept of “sand beaching,” to S. Craig Zahler’s tight ponytail. Plus, we give our final Park rankings, and announce our next series, the worst-kept secret in podcasting.

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We couldn’t be more excited to talk about the film we consider to be Park’s masterpiece - the gorgeous, twisty, and ultimately moving THE HANDMAIDEN. “Mother of the Blankies” Emily Yoshida joins us to unpack this puzzlebox of an erotic thriller, a brilliant adaptation of Sarah Waters’ Fingersmith. Come for the coining of a new Blank Check phrase (thanks, researcher JJ!), stay for a very crucial “touch of the Tucc” tangent. By the way - what does that octopus actually do??

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Remember when the star of TV’s Prison Break (Wentworth Miller, “human map”) wrote a screenplay that landed on the Black List and ended up serving as the material for Park Chan-Wook’s only English film to date? What a time to be alive! Mia Wasikowska superfan Emily St. James returns to Blank Check to offer her take on 2013’s Stoker, a movie that is not NOT about vampires. Join us as we fawn over Park’s stunning directorial choices (that shot where Nicole Kidman’s hair transitions into grass!), go long on 2000s TV series (Prison Break obviously, but also In Treatment), and listen with delight as Emily shares some crucial David Sims lore.

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Move over, Dracula. Eat your heart out Edward Cullen. A new sexy vampire is in town, and he just happens to be a PRIEST! Park Chan-Wook reunites with the wonderful Song Kang-ho to put his own stamp on the popular genre with 2009’s THIRST. Inverse’s Hoi-Tran Boi joins us to chat about this darkly funny (and devilishly sound-designed) film, an adaptation of Emile Zola’s classic novel Thérèse Raquin. How do the rules of vampirism translate to a culture where everything is cooked with garlic?  

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From the twisted mind of Park Chan-Wook, it’s…a surprisingly sensitive romance set in a mental hospital? Writer and Comedian Karen Chee joins us to chat about 2006’s I’M A CYBORG, BUT THAT’S OKAY - a real outlier in Park’s career, and a commercial disappointment after the global success of his Vengeance Trilogy. Would it surprise you to learn that this film was inspired by, of all things, TOY STORY? Is this the best Park film to remake with a cast of Muppets? Are any of the film’s mental illnesses based in reality? All that, and more, in a very silly episode.

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DA MOVIESH ARE BACK, BABY! Film Director Barbie joins the gang to chat about Christopher Nolan’s latest and an historic weekend at the multiplex. What’s the best format for seeing OPPENHEIMER? Which of the many character actors in this film makes the biggest impression? Will David make his sexy Christopher Nolan voice a new recurring bit? Plus - we address the SAG strike (solidarity!), the social media discourse around this film (so dumb!), and Ben admits that science used to seem cool.

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It’s 2023. An all-powerful AI program named “the Entity” is sewing chaos and threatening the fragile equilibrium of the world as we know it. It is also throwing sick parties. Meanwhile, over at Blank Check HQ, the BENTITY has a few tricks up his sleeve to surprise Griffin, David, and Marie with a mission of their own as they break down Tom Cruise and Christopher McQuarrie’s latest big-screen extravaganza.

Special thanks to IMF team members Teo Rapp-Olsson and Patrick Willems. Support their work!

Patrick Willems: https://www.youtube.com/@patrickhwillems

Teo Rapp-Olsson: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm6231691/

Mission: Impoddible theme composed by Alex Barron

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Park Chan-Wook’s loosely-linked “Vengeance Trilogy” comes to a starkly satisfying end with 2005’s LADY VENGEANCE - a normal flick…that’s all we have to say! Just kidding - we have LOTS to say about this one, with its stacked cast of lady convicts and grief-stricken parents. Our beloved Karen Han returns to the pod to correct our terrible Korean pronunciations and to tell us about “Jump Like A Witch” - a Korean reality series wherein famous female celebrities attempt to form a basketball team. Plus - it should surprise no one that this episode contains plenty of Pirates of the Caribbean discussion.

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What is an Oldboy? How do you feel about Greek Tragedies? How did Choi Min-Sik achieve that iconic (and insane) hairstyle? Was giving the 2004 Palme d’Or to FAHRENHEIT 9/11 over this film one of the greatest mistakes in the history of arts and culture? All those questions answered and more as critic Alison Willmore joins us to talk about OLDBOY, the first major Korean breakthrough in the American filmbro canon. 

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Especially “Theory: Top Gun: Maverick Is (Mostly) a Death Dream” if you haven’t already

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Park Chan-Wook kicks off his famous “Vengeance” trilogy and we kick off another episode where we talk about Ted Danson’s late 90s sitcom BECKER! Critic, friend of the pod, and Crystal Skull-apologist David Ehrlich joins us to chat about Park’s “Sympathy for Mister Vengeance” - a film that shows that revenge is not a dish best served cold, but is actually kind of sad and futile. Come for Ehrlich’s story about his teen trip to Seoul (when he had lunch with Director Park!), stay for the throwback memories of ordering imported DVDs from YesAsia-dot-com and the often misleading branding of the Tartan Asian EXTREME label.

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Park Chan-Wook’s 2000 breakthrough and Korean box office juggernaut - JSA (Joint Security Area) - is the rare international murder-mystery that dares to ask the question…”what if the real smoking gun was FRIENDSHIP??” Join us as we unpack this poignant and twisty thriller, and maybe some of you can unpack on your own time why Griffin chooses to bring up THE LITTLE RASCALS when talking about Korean geopolitics.

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It’s a brand new era for Blank Check - Griffin is in his “arriving early to work” era. Ben is in his “Bad Boy 2.0” era. And we’re all in our WORLD CINEMA era as we kick off our series on South Korean master (and March Madness champion!) Park Chan-Wook. Join us as we offer a brief overview of the evolution of Korean cinema - from 1960’s landmark THE HOUSEMAID up through decades of government censorship - and introduce the career of one of our finest filmmakers. However - we’re gonna be real with you all. Park’s first two movies are NOT GOOD. He has actively tried to erase them from the cultural consciousness. So - do things get really silly as we dance around talking about how bad these movies are? YES. Do we use this episode as an excuse to catch up with several series worth of Ben Nicknames? ABSOLUTELY.

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Our Buster Keaton series comes to a conclusion as his period of creative independence does, with his first two features for MGM: THE CAMERAMAN and SPITE MARRIAGE. The former? Debatably a meta-masterpiece, with a Chinatown setpiece for the ages and one very adorable monkey. The latter? Well, you can see the downward spiral start to take shape. In this episode, we fill in the later years of Buster’s life and career, give our final Keaton rankings, and attempt to cheer Ben up after a very demoralizing restaurant experience.

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After his “blank check” for THE GENERAL bounced,  Buster Keaton found himself creatively and financially shackled. Thus, 1927’s COLLEGE lands on the lesser end of the quality spectrum (not to mention a very difficult watch with Buster putting on blackface for a scene - yikes). But, his follow-up STEAMBOAT BILL, JR. features some of the most memorable and dangerous stunts of Keaton’s career, and acts as a beautiful send-off to his period as a self-sufficient filmmaker. The wonderful John Hodgman joins us to chat about both films and his life-long love of Buster. Plus - as always with a Hodgman episode - we go down several delightful rabbit holes: Doctor Who, beans, Goofy’s “George Geef” period, large pants, and more!

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One of narrative cinema’s earliest training sequences, and one of cinema’s most famous trains - that’s right, we’re covering Buster Keaton’s 1926 films BATTLING BUTLER and THE GENERAL. Gentleman, scholar, and action movie aficionado Jamelle Bouie joins us to unpack this week’s double feature, providing some essential historical context for THE GENERAL’s unfortunate Civil War  setting. Plus, Ben starts researching how one buys a train.

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This week’s Keaton double feature sees our unflappable hero chased by two types of terrifying crowds: angry would-be brides, and a herd of cattle. How does he outrun them both? Jamie Loftus joins us to chat about Buster Keaton’s tremendous on-screen running (up there with Tom Cruise), his enduring sex appeal (we love a hot tired guy), and his compassion for animals (giving the bovine star of GO WEST a week off to have sex). Plus, because Jamie is THE Hot Dog Queen, we get into a very involved, very long tangent about the world of competitive Hot Dog Eating.

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Buster Keaton released two features in 1924 - “Sherlock Jr.”, a film that was considered a commercial disappointment at the time but has grown in stature over the past century, and “The Navigator'', a colossal box office hit that hasn’t aged nearly as well. Actor and lover of old-timey things James Urbaniak makes his long-awaited debut on the pod (originally promised back in our Shyamalan days!) and we’re getting into the billiards bits, boat gags, razor puns, and movie magic that make this double feature so special.

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See James in The Country Club as well as Venture Bros: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart when they come out.

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The Great Stone Face…The Little Boy Who Couldn’t Be Damaged…whatever you call him, Buster Keaton is one of the most important figures in film history, and we couldn’t be happier to be spotlight him in our latest series PODCAST JR. Our beloved Dana Stevens - writer of the fantastic Keaton tome “Camera Man” - joins us to set the table as we dive into the filmography of one of Griffin’s favorite artists. We’re going into Buster’s start as a vaudeville child star (sometimes in “Irish face”), the qualities of his work that distinguish him from peers Charlie Chaplin and Harold Lloyd, and we’re dissecting the gags and stunts featured in his first two feature films. Plus - Griffin gives one of his worst Box Office Game performances, and we all learn a bit about early child labor laws.

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Our Danny Boyle series comes to an end with a mind-bending movie that dares to ask the question, “What if The Beatles didn’t exist?” Severance’s Zach Cherry makes his long-overdue first appearance on the pod to profess his love Boyle’s most recent film, while David nearly has a stroke from trying to wrap his brain around all its logic loops. We’re asking all the big questions - if the Beatles never existed, would Charles Manson? If cigarettes never existed, how would that change the colonization of the New World? If John Lennon is alive in this universe, does this mean that Paul is actually dead? When does Ana de Armas show up?

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First they were addicted to heroin, now they’re addicted to *nostalgia* (but also still heroin)! Danny Boyle returns to the squalid Scottish world of Renton, Sick Boy, Spud, and Begbie for T2: Trainspotting, and Scott Aukerman and Sprague (aka the Artist Formerly Known as Shaun Diston) join us to talk about this under-seen legacy sequel. How did Danny Boyle and Ewan McGregor’s real-life feud influence this film? Is Spud’s arc in this basically just Bubbles’ arc in season 5 of The Wire? Which is the better “much-later sequel starring Ewan McGregor in an iconic role” - this, or the Obi Wan Kenobi series on Disney+?

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Calling all Sorkinistas - we’re walking, talking, and putting 1,000 songs in your pocket! Based on Walter Isaccson’s best-selling biography of the original Apple Genius, STEVE JOBS puts Danny Boyle in David Fincher’s shoes. What did we learn about this movie from the notorious Sony hacks? Is Michael Fassbender too hot to play Steve Jobs? Would it surprise you to learn that Ben Hosley is a life-long Mac user? Olivia Craighead returns to the pod and joins the Five Timers Club in spectacular fashion with a special throwback burger report. Plus - we do NOT thank the Apple II team, and David has strep.

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Probably the only film in history to hinge on the shaving of pubic hair as crucial plot point, Danny Boyle’s 2013 film TRANCE is…certainly something! Filmmaker Nia DaCosta takes a break from post-production on THE MARVELS to return to the podcast as we peel back the layers of this twisty hypnosis thriller. What is this movie actually trying to say? We don’t know. However, we *do* know that Vincent Cassel is wayyyy sexy, and that the film’s notorious electric razor sound effect was an unforgivable mistake.

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Welcome to another installment in the “If This Happened to Ben Hosley, It Wouldn’t Have Gone Down Like That” series of films - it’s 127 HOURS! Hollywood Handbook’s Sean Clements returns to the pod as we all discuss what we would do if, like real-life outdoorsman Aron Ralston, we got literally “stuck between a rock and a hard place.” What is gnarlier - cutting off your own arm, drinking your own pee, or hosting the Oscars the same year you get your first acting nomination and completely self-sabotaging during it? James Franco, we’re looking at you.

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Danny Boyle is about to win the Oscar. How did he do it? A) He Cheated, B) He’s Lucky, C) He’s a Genius, D) IT IS WRITTEN. Critic Siddhant Adlakha joins us to dissect the improbable success of Boyle’s 2008 Dickens-by-way-of-Mumbai hit SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. We’re getting into everything, from the film’s reputation in India to the 2009 Oscar ceremony with Hugh Jackman, from UK teen TV sensation “Skins” to the unexpected success of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” in primetime. Jai Ho!

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The time has come for us to board the Icarus II (awful name for a spaceship) and stare directly into the sun. First mentioned as a movie that rules way back when we were only a podcast about the Star Wars Prequels, Griffin and David finally get to cover Danny Boyle’s 2007 Science Fiction flop SUNSHINE. We’re getting into everything - the iconic score, the brilliantly restrictive use of colors, the hot scientist named Brian Cox (not Logan Roy) who served as a model for Cillian Murphy’s character, and the film’s very controversial third act. Staring into the sun? Bad idea. Taking the time to re-appraise this forgotten gem? A GREAT ONE.

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How did Danny Boyle choose to follow up the ultraviolence of 28 Days Later? With a winsome kid’s movie about morality and currency conversion, of course! Filmspotting’s Adam Kempenaar joins us to revisit 2004’s Millions, which he originally covered in the second episode of Filmspotting back in 2005 (!) Why did Danny Boyle want to make a family-friendly film? Should this have been a musical? Was there ever a point in time where it seemed like Britain would adopt the Euro? Plus, the most important question of all - what would Ben have done with that bag of money?     

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Once again we gather together to celebrate excellence in the motion picture industry - but rest assured, we have our own Blankies Crisis Team standing by to avoid any catastrophes after last year! Joe Reid of “This Had Oscar Buzz” joins us for our eighth ceremony, and we shine a spotlight on all the best performances, wettest films, and putteringest murmurs of 2022. Plus - a very special top ten list from a surprise guest.

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Fast zombies, a deserted London, and potato-quality digital cinematography - 28 DAYS LATER proved to be a genre-defining hit for Danny Boyle after the disappointment of THE BEACH. Humorist and Blankie favorite David Rees returns to the podcast to take us back to the immediate post-9/11 period, a mood and time which this film conjures instantly. Join us for a deep dive into the zombie canon, a tangent on the famed “Young British Artists” of the 1990s, a primer on Canadian anti-capitalist band Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and a moment of disbelief when Rees discovers that Brendan Gleeson played Donald Trump in Showtime’s THE COMEY RULE. 

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Mother is back, and she’s taking us all to THE BEACH! Emily Yoshida makes her long-awaited return to the pod to speak about her experience in the writer’s room of the still-unproduced TV version of Alex Garland’s titular novel. We’re asking all the big questions - when did Leonardo DiCaprio stop being “baby” and become a big boy on screen? Why is no one practicing ethical non-monogamy or doing heroin on this island? Is it cool to like Moby again after that weird Natalie Portman thing? How would starring in this movie have affected Ewan McGregor’s career? Why stay in a commune with a bunch of dirty European hippies when you could just go to a resort with real bathrooms? 

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Knock knock! Who’s there? M. Night Shyamalan, of course! We’re answering the door and ushering in the apocalypse with a look at Night’s latest offering. 

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After the smashing success of TRAINSPOTTING, Danny Boyle reteamed with star Ewan McGregor and writer John Hodge to…make a movie where Dan Hedaya plays the Archangel Gabriel, Stanley Tucci plays a cuck dentist, and Ewan has one of the worst haircuts in the history of cinema? Shockingly, 1997’s A LIFE LESS ORDINARY was not a hit. Actress and comedian Janet Varney (The Legend of Korra, “The JV Club”) joins us as we attempt to make sense of this bizarro road trip romance.

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The UK’s answer to PULP FICTION, Danny Boyle’s TRAINSPOTTING exploded into theaters and became a global phenomenon, thanks to an iconic marketing campaign. Who *didn’t* have this poster up in their dorm room? “Search Party” creator Charles Rogers returns to the pod to talk about how his own dorm TRAINSPOTTING poster contributed to his coming out at college, and how Danny Boyle’s radical empathy and fearlessness makes this film so much more than a movie-of-the-week cautionary tale.

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UK house music, a *very* active camera, and Ewan McGregor looking like a SNACK…that’s right, folks - we’re covering Danny Boyle! With the England bit retired, we’re finally giving dual citizen David Sims the time and space to actually reminisce about his very British upbringing. A sensation in the UK upon release, SHALLOW GRAVE introduced Boyle as the cinematic voice of “Cool Britannia” - yet the film remains an under-seen gem in the States. In this episode, the boys discuss what they would do with a dead body (wouldn’t cut it up) and a suitcase of cash (would only skim off the top for a cheeky Nando’s); plus, they gush over the film’s incredible apartment setting…or should we say “flat”?

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Henry Selick waited thirteen years to make his follow-up to CORALINE, and it feels like we’ve been waiting even longer to hear David’s TIFF Airbnb story - a yarn that finally gets unspooled with the help of friend Shirley Li. After that business is taken care of, we try our best to describe Selick’s WENDELL & WILD - a film that ranks among the more convoluted of the movies we’ve covered on the pod. Yet - we still find a lot to love about this tale of demons, hair creme, and private prisons! Stop motion puppets that look just like Key, Peele, AND James Hong! Esteemed British character actor David Harewood as Black Trump! And Ben shines a special spotlight on the film’s killer soundtrack.

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The ultimate connoisseur of context, the guru of camera gear - our friend JD Amato makes his triumphant return to the main feed to walk us through the magic and genius of Henry Selick’s masterpiece CORALINE. For listeners who never had the chance to catch this film in its original 3D release, we attempt to describe Selick’s absolute mastery of the form. We go long on the history of Laika studios, from Will Vinton’s California raisins, to the ultimate “nepo baby” Travis Knight’s (aka “Chilly T”) ascension to the throne. Plus - JD discovers a tiny door in our new recording studio…

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The gang went to see AVATAR: THE WAY OF WATER and we all got soaking wet. Fully submerged. Drenched! We’re communing with space whales, chugging coffees with Edie Falco, and learning how to hold our breath for long stretches of time to commemorate the release of James Cameron’s long-awaited sequel to the biggest movie of all time. Are we one with Eywa now? How does Kate Winslet’s Na’vi accent stack up against her previous linguistic efforts? Is the Regal Cinemas Agave Aquarita the perfect cocktail to accompany your trip back to Pandora? Will Marie end up buying the Lego “Home Tree” set, or is that too complicated for the crew?

Plus, check out the Slow Xmas 2022 holiday music compilation now on Spotify and Bandcamp! Please support the bands/artists featured on this album.

Nicky Francis

Spotify

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Soundcloud

Gravity Proof

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Greeensleeves

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Heavy Gus

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Bandcamp (Ben Varian)

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Just in time for Brendan Fraser’s big comeback, we’re taking a look back at his misguided collaboration with Henry Selick - 2001’s bizarro flop MONKEYBONE. Justin McElroy (no relation to Bridget Fonda’s Dr. Julie McElroy) returns to the podcast after having watched this film a whopping seven times (!!) to unpack all the madness. Why are there no rules or logic to the film’s “Dark Town” underworld? What was the appeal of Chris Kattan’s “Mango” character on SNL? Was this film the nail in the coffin for the kitschy retro-revival genre of projects that dominated the 1990s? Can we write the money we spent to rent this movie off on our taxes? 

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Bugs! So many bugs! And…Richard Dreyfuss?? The Bug Queen Emma Stefansky returns to the podcast to celebrate all the creepy crawlies in 1996’s JAMES AND THE GIANT PEACH. We’re talking about stone fruit, Randy Newman, and cinema’s sexiest spider in this episode. Plus, we rank our favorite bugs AND our favorite Roald Dahl adaptations, and we learn about how Ben got his scar.

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We’re wearing our Hot Topic sweatshirts and enunciating every dramatic syllable to pay tribute to one of the greatest animated films of all time - Tim Burton’s (but really Henry Selick’s) THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Academy Award-nominated animator and Blankie Michael Rianda (THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES) joins us to talk about this multi-holiday classic, which is basically just a movie about a creative weirdo trying to fit in at Disney. Is this the boniest movie we’ve covered on the podcast? Does Halloween Town have the best minor background characters since the Mos Eisley cantina? What is the St. Patrick’s Day Town like?

Mixed by: Kyle Joseph

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For the first time in years, both Griffin and David are in agreement on a new Steven Spielberg film - what a picture! We’re playing both film critics and armchair psychologists in this episode as we unpack THE FABELMANS, a movie that is less sentimental and more complex than one would assume based on the poster. What sets this film apart from the ever-growing stack of filmmaker origin stories? Is this the de-facto Best Picture frontrunner? Why the hell was Griffin shooting on super 8 in the early 2000s when MiniDV was available?

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Cruise. Kidman. Kubrick. Ehrlich. We’re concluding our Stanley Kubrick series with 1999’s EYES WIDE SHUT and a trip to cinema’s most famous masked orgy. Indiewire’s David Ehrlich joins us as we discuss liminal spaces, the late-90s ABC sitcom “Dharma & Greg,” Nick Nightingale’s skills as a piano player, and Sydney Pollack’s barrel chest. Are there “more Christmas lights in this movie than there are in an NYU student’s dormroom?” What is the platonic ideal of a Tom Cruise hairstyle? Did making this movie kill Kubrick, or was working to finish it what kept him alive? What can one expect to find where the rainbow ends? And more!

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Alright, maggots, listen up! We’ve got the Action Boy himself - Jon Gabrus - back on the podcast to talk about Kubrick’s bifurcated Vietnam War classic FULL METAL JACKET. We’re retiring the “retired bit” in order to talk about Matthew Modine as Private Joker. We’re getting into the etymology of “poontang.” We’re attempting to articulate what makes a movie feel like an “80s movie” and why this film absolutely doesn’t.  And - we’re gonna end up on a very long tangent about the talking head comedy shows of the mid-aughts. Do we make ourselves clear? SIR, YES, SIR.

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Just in time for Halloween, we’re checking into the Overlook Hotel - a haunted place not unlike the Beachwood, Ohio, Homewood Suites that Griffin and guest Timothy Simons stayed in while they were filming DRAFT DAY! Is THE SHINING about Native American genocide, or is it about how Stanley Kubrick thought ghosts were kinda nice? Is Shelley Duvall the MVP of this movie? Would Ben absolutely thrive as the hotel’s caretaker - taking inspiration from the stocked kitchen pantry to whip up some delicious dishes? Why does the spectre of Tim Robinson continue to haunt our Kubrick series?

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NASA-quality lenses, a himbo canon-worthy performance from notoriously “chill and normal guy” Ryan O’Neal, and some flirty ribbon games all combine to make what we consider to be Kubrick’s warmest and most sumptuous film - 1975’s “Barry Lyndon.” Karina Longworth of “You Must Remember This” makes a long-awaited first appearance on the pod to wonder - did Barry actually end up sleeping with his cousin? What are the rules of dueling? Should children be allowed to ride horses? And more!

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Attention all droogs: grab your Nadsat dictionaries and your bowler hats, it’s time to drink some drug-milk! We’ve got our very own Alex - Ross Perry, that is - on the pod to go long on Kubrick’s controversial X-rated dystopian nightmare, 1971’s A CLOCKWORK ORANGE. We’re reminiscing about our rebellious teenage years, which for Alex included a trip to New York to see The Prodigy in concert, and for David included a “Pinter phase.” Did you all know that David grew up in England? Plus - Ben learns that Malcolm McDowell was once married to CLIFFORD’s own Mary Steenburgen, Griffin learns about Kubrick’s preferred brand of storage boxes, and David learns that Alex and Griffin have given him a mysterious new nickname.

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Open the pod cast doors, HAL - it’s time for us to talk about one of the most important movies in cinema history. Jordan Hoffman - the friend of the pod who best represents both the “diamond-hard Sci Fi” and psychedelic head-trip factions of 2001 fandom - returns to Blank Check, and we’re doling out the knowledge *and* the giggles. When is the ideal moment to “partake” in order to get the trippiest experience from 2001? Is Griffin starting to change his mind about Kubrick not being funny? Do Arthur C. Clark and Dr. Evil buy their jackets from the same tailor? Is this movie actually all about dick jokes?

Check out Jordan’s writing on Thrillist

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Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, Sean Fennessey is finally on our podcast! The Big Picture Pod host joins Griffin and David to talk about Kubrick’s razor-sharp satire, the Peter Sellers tour-de-force that is “Dr. Strangelove”. We’re asking all the questions - Could Sellers have played *every* character in this movie? Is the film paradoxically funnier because Kubrick isn’t really a comedy guy? Would George C. Scott hate this podcast? Would you give “Tom Jones” a middling three stars on Letterboxd? And more!

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It certainly feels great to cover a good movie again! Our mini-run of new releases ends with Gina Prince-Bythewood’s crowd-pleaser - the African female warrior epic “The Woman King”. We’ve got David’s exclusive report on the film’s world premiere at TIFF (humblebrag), a deep dive on the career of Viola Davis (did you know her early industry champions were Steven Soderbergh and George Clooney?), and some thoughts on how this film taps into Prince-Bythewood’s ongoing exploration of chosen families and personal identity.

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The King of the Uncanny Valley - our boy Bob Zemeckis - is back with his spin on perhaps the most iconic un-real boy in cinema…it’s Pinocchio, baby! Our friends from Podcast: The Ride - two Disney daddies and one small wooden boy - join us to chat about Disney’s latest live-action remake, and we’re mostly just confused. How many days did Tom Hanks spend on set? Why are so many people in Hollywood eager to make their own Pinocchio adaptations? Did Leslie Zemeckis do mo-cap work for the sexy goldfish? Why does Disney World’s Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster revolve around AEROSMITH of all bands?? We may never know!

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George Miller returns with a sweeping romantic fantasy and if we had a djinn, we’d wish that more people went to see this movie in theaters!  Plus - Ben wishes for infinite sandwiches, and the two friends go long on Idris Elba and Tilda Swinton.

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How did they ever make a podcast of LOLITA? Let’s just say that it wasn’t easy, but thankfully our guest Fran Hoepfner is in her “brave era” and was more than up for the task! If our SPARTACUS episode was full of Tony Curtis impressions, we’re classing up the joint this week with plenty of James Mason bits. In this episode, Ben learns about the Hays Code, Griffin learns how to pronounce “Nabokov,” Fran learns that it is very difficult to eat a giant lollipop, and David learns what everyone thought of his and Forky’s recent wedding.

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I am Spartacus! I am Spartacus! Heck, we’re *all* Spartacus today as we talk about the “sword-and-sandals” epic that solidified Stanley Kubrick’s hit-making potential…and soured him on Hollywood forever. Vanity Fair’s Richard Lawson returns to the pod and we’re covering all the major topics: How did a young Kubrick manage all the different stars on set - many of whom were accomplished directors in their own right? Was Kirk Douglas’ chin cleft real? Did Dalton Trumbo write the script for this in a bathtub? Why does Tony Curtis always sound like he’s ordering something from a deli?

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Perhaps the most humanistic of Kubrick’s films, PATHS OF GLORY is a blistering study of injustice, middle-management, and anti-war sentiment. We’re down in the trenches this week with Sarah Marshall (“You’re Wrong About” and “You Are Good”), and we’re asking the big questions. Like - what crazy scheme did Timothy Carey pull during production that caused him to be fired as soon as all his closeups were filmed? Did Kirk Douglas take his hefty salary (a third of the total budget!) to pay for tennis lessons for son Michael? Why do American schools gloss over World War I? How does Ben weigh his love of ditches against the concept of trench warfare?

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If Stanley Kubrick’s previous two films were exercises in learning on the job, THE KILLING is where we start to see him put that knowledge into action. A thrilling noir, it allowed Kubrick to connect his passion for chess to a story about the best laid plans of a too ambitious crook. We couldn’t be more thrilled to welcome dream guest Patton Oswalt as we swap insane Timothy Carey stories, debate whether or not Rodney Dangerfield appears in the background of a scene, and suggest that Sterling Hayden’s Johnny Clay should have added a “Karen” to his plan to solve his baggage check-in situation at the airport.

Check out Patton in I Love My Dad from Magnolia Pictures

Read his Silver Screen Fiend: Learning About Life from an Addiction to Film

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He dominated the field in this year’s 20th Century March Madness competition, and now we’re celebrating with a parade and a big brass band…it’s time for our series on the films of Stanley Kubrick - Pods Wide Cast! Join us as we fill in the background strokes of Kubrick’s early career - his childhood in the Bronx, his photography apprenticeship with Look Magazine - and as we discuss his first two features - 1953’s FEAR AND DESIRE and 1955’s KILLER’S KISS. Some burning questions we end up asking: how much of later Kubrick is already present in these pretty amateurish works? How do these rank in the patheon of debut films by great directors? Is there a code of ethics for cab drivers when you jump into the backseat and request that they “follow that car?” Why has Ben been buying mannequins off eBay? And more!

Additional Music by Alex Barron

John Wayne Throws Kid in River

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Oof - this is a tough one. Incredibly divisive, is “STAR 80” a darkly cynical triumph about the perils of Hollywood and the failings of men? Or is it a too-sympathetic “Portrait of An Incel as a who cares?!” per our guest Julie Klausner? Join us for a very spirited discussion about Fosse’s difficult last film, where we touch upon the dangers of the true crime genre, the tendency for male creatives to prioritize the male perspective, and the ways in which this film complicates the fascinating legacy of Fosse’s collaborative relationships with women. Plus, we offer our final Fosse rankings, and we ponder several tantalizing “what ifs?” about the unrealized projects lost to history after his death in 1987.

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It’s SHOWTIME, folks - and boy, are we jazzed about this episode! Broadway icon and actual Blank Check listener Lin-Manuel Miranda joins us to talk about what many consider to be Bob Fosse’s masterpiece, 1979’s “All That Jazz.” LMM surprises Griffin and David by bringing along an original copy of the film’s script, which offers some fascinating insights into Fosse’s blurring of the lines between memoir and fiction. We discuss the parallels between “All That Jazz” and LMM’s recent screen adaptation of Jonathan Larson’s “tick, tick…BOOM!” - two projects that are concerned with the creation of art in the face of mortality and self-doubt. Plus - Ben gets a very special birthday present. 

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Sure, Bob Fosse’s “Lenny” has beautiful cinematography, but does it effectively communicate that Lenny Bruce was funny? Is the narrative of stand-ups as “tortured truth tellers” overdone? 

We have THOUGHTS! Comedian and “stand-up historian” Colin Quinn joins us to talk about the legacy of Lenny Bruce, and what Fosse gets right (the milieu of the clubs, Valerie Perrine’s wonderful performance as Honey Bruce), and what he gets wrong (the actual humor). Plus - we entertain the idea of a miniseries structured not around a specific filmmaker, but a series of late-70s, early-80s films where the main auteur is…cocaine.

Editor’s Note: This episode includes Zoom audio.

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Wilkommen and Bienvenue to our “Cabaret” episode! Literal Disney Princess and musical theater superstar Rachel Zegler joins us to gush over Fosse’s 1972 film - a game-changer for the musical genre, and an Oscar-winning guarantor for Fosse’s cinematic “blank check” after the failure of “Sweet Charity.” Topics discussed include: the differences between the screen version and the stage show; Joel Grey’s Emcee being nearly cut out of the film; Liza Minnelli crafting her own unique look for Sally Bowles; Whether Michael York’s best role was on “Gilmore Girls”; and more!

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The minute you walked in the joint…I could see you were a man of distinction, A REAL PODCASTER! “Pod That Jazzcast” - our series on the films of Bob Fosse - kicks off with a real humdinger of an episode, as the boys discuss 1969’s swinging technicolor musical “Sweet Charity.” For folks unfamiliar with Fosse, we give an overview of his life and career in dance and theater leading up to his film directorial debut, and attempt to decipher his creative obsessions (women, fear of balding, isolated body movements, etc). Plus, Ben realizes he loves musicals, and the boys wonder which brass musical instrument has the most inherent humor.

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Our Sam Raimi series concludes with his most recent film - not to mention the first MCU film we’ve covered on the main feed - it’s time for Doctor Strange 2! Patrick Willems joins us to address the important questions: What was Raimi *doing* for the nine years between this and Oz? Does Kevin Feige and his Marvel Machine overpower Raimi’s creative voice? Should “Wandavision” have been released after this movie? Is Schnipper’s on 8th Ave the ideal place to debrief after seeing a movie in Times Square? Should America Chavez have been an adorable hobo riding the rails in between dimensions instead of a human MacGuffin? All that, plus Ben deploys his “nerd alert” buzzer instead of shoving the guys into a locker.

Patrick’s new film Night of the Coconut is available on Nebula (nebula.app/nightofthecoconut) or goto curiositystream.com/patrickhwillems and sign up for a discounted annual plan with free access to Nebula with your subscription. You can watch more of Patrick’s work on his YouTube channel.

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Ah, yes - we’ve arrived at the reason why we held off on covering Sam Raimi for so long…because we didn’t want to end our series on such a dismal note! “Oz the Great and Powerful” - Raimi’s last feature until the recent “Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness” - features James Franco in a performance that guest Dana Schwartz (“Noble Blood”) characterizes as “having the energy of a hot boy in a school play who’s laughing with his friends in the front row.” It doesn’t have the tactile, zippy cinematic language of Raimi’s best work, instead opting for the popular hyper-saturated, entirely digital look of Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” (a clear influence). But it *does* have a little girl made of porcelain who almost made Ben cry. Topics discussed include our desire for a Mila Kunissance, Zach Braff being the surprise MVP in this movie, whether “Tinkers” are a specific ethnicity or a class or workers, and the Disney IP lawyers who had to be on set making sure nothing infringed on MGM’s copyright of the classic Oz visuals.

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After the massive box office success of his Spider-Man movies, Sam Raimi went “back to basics” - returning to the gnarly demonic possession genre that he put his stamp on back in the “Evil Dead” days. This time, instead of the chin-god Bruce Campbell, we’ve got a particularly cherubic Alison Lohman in the starring role! The Bechdel Cast’s Caitlin Durante and Jamie Loftus join the #TwoFriends to chat about the goofy gross-out scares and economic recession relevance of 2009’s “Drag Me To Hell,” plus, we attempt to put together the ultimate canon of Goat Cinema.

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If “Spider-Man 2” had the reputation of being the greatest superhero movie of all time, “Spider-Man 3” had the inverse - a bloated mess with too many villains, and a very goofy Peter Parker going to the darkside, if by “darkside” you mean a trip to Men’s Warehouse and Hot Topic. But is that reputation justified? We’re gonna air on the side of…not REALLY. Notable Spidey 3 defender Jamelle Bouie (The New York Times, his podcast “Clear and Present Danger”) returns to Blank Check to praise this film’s focus on interpersonal relationships and quiet character moments. What else do we like? Griffin likes the “Editor’s Cut” (on Amazon Prime!). Ben *obviously* loves The Sandman. We all can agree that the much-memed sidewalk strut and jazz club sequences are a ton of fun. What doesn’t work? Let’s just say we have some issues with a lil guy named VENOM.

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For a while, “Spider-Man 2” was considered the high water mark for superhero movies - but does it hold up 14 years deep into the MCU? We’ve got two words for you - ALFRED MOLINA. Self-professed “Blank Check rabble rouser” Chris Gethard returns to the pod (and apologizes to the Blankie Community) as we trace the history and legacy of this iconic Spidey sequel. We love this movie so much, David doesn’t even care that the subway sequence isn’t accurate to New York! Other topics covered - why Aunt May should always be elderly and fragile, Tobey’s near-firing from the franchise, Mr Ditkovich Memes, our comic book villain rankings, and more!

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Upside down kissing, Bonesaw McGraw, and a soundtrack featuring not just one, but TWO of Avril Lavigne’s ex-husbands…it’s SPIDER-MAN! Screen Crush’s Matt Singer (who literally wrote a book about Spider-Man) joins us as we take a look back to a much different Hollywood landscape; a time when Marvel was a struggling comics company, when both Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire were considered odd choices for a superhero adaptation, and when no film had yet to open to $100M at the US Box Office. Is the hyphen in “Spider-Man” crucial to the film’s themes? Was it a mistake to cover Willem Dafoe’s already goblinesque visage with a mask? Does Joe Manganiello look too old to be a high school student? Join us as we discuss those questions and more!

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Katie Holmes in a lazy southern accent asks, “What’s the matter? See somethin’ bad?” and we are immediately transported back to the year 2000 when the trailers for this movie were EVERYWHERE.  Writer and podcasting icon Starlee Kine joins us to talk about Sam Raimi’s “The Gift” - a film with an incredibly stacked cast of actors who were eager to sink their teeth into a Southern Gothic Billy Bob Thornton creation. Do we buy Keanu as a wife-beating redneck? Is Cate Blanchett actually a terrible psychic? How does Giovanni Ribisi’s performance in this rank among his most deranged screen outings? Folks - we apologize in advance for bringing up “The Other Sister”.

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Is this not America? Is baseball not America’s favorite pastime? Is “For Love of the Game” a Sam Raimi movie? Technically speaking, sure! It’s about a guy who’s trying not to lose both his hand and his lady - some very Raimi-esque themes. Gawker’s Olivia Craighead returns to the pod to talk about Kevin “Straight Outta Compton” Costner, and we go long on crackerjacks, Vin Scully’s screenplay notes, and the cinematic pleasures of baseball. The crack of the bat, baby!

Plus - the boys open up about their little league days (Ben obviously loved to steal bases).

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$4.4 million, a murder of crows, and a cursed crashed plane…the ingredients for a real nail-biter of a fable! Filmmaker Kevin Smith (yep, THAT Kevin Smith) joins us to talk about one of his favorite films - 1998’s “A Simple Plan” - and to pay tribute to the late producer Jim Jacks, who shepherded several filmmakers (such as Raimi, the Coens, Richard Linklater, and Smith himself) as they made their transitions from scrappy indies to the big leagues. How successfully is Raimi able to meld his signature kinetic style with this film’s air of prestige? Was Billy Bob Thornton “the best actor alive between the years of 1998 and 2003,” per David? What would YOU do if you discovered all that money in the woods? Ben would buy an island, and there would be no problems or conflicts, and it would just be really chill and fun!

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Considered a bit of a “blank check” for actress Sharon Stone (she used her clout to bring Sam Raimi, Russell Crowe, and a babyfaced Leonardo DiCaprio to the project), “The Quick and The Dead” may have been too quirky for mainstream audiences and too earnest for the post-Tarantino generation of cinephiles back in 1995. But boy, does it slap in 2022! Roman Mars - The golden-voiced host of “99% Invisible” - joins us as David offers his definitive Russell Crowe performance ranking, and as we finally get an excuse to go long on the screen persona of Gene Hackman.

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KLAATU BARADA NIKTO - did we get that right? Writer Eva Anderson (WeCrashed, You’re the Worst) joins us as we attempt to answer several questions related to the final entry in the Evil Dead trilogy - 1993’s Army of Darkness. Why was this film not called MEDIEVAL DEAD? Did Embeth Davidtz and Liam Neeson talk about Sam Raimi on the set of Schindler’s List? How does Ben feel about the concept of a town pit? And most importantly, we introduce a tantalizing Hollywood mystery - was there a falling out between Silver Lake roommates Sam Raimi, Joel & Ethan Coen, Frances McDormand, Holly Hunter, and their sixth roommate…Kathy Bates? 

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Who’s Darkman? A man of a thousand faces! A walking fleshwound who probably smells awful! A dude who probably would be into night eggs! Filmmaker Chris Weitz joins us to geek out over Sam Raimi’s homage to the Universal Monsters - a film that establishes the comic book style that Raimi would later perfect with his “Spider-Man” trilogy. We discuss the early 90s run of pulpy comic book films (“Dick Tracy”, “The Shadow”), the shock of seeing Frances McDormand in what she describes as a “bimbo role,” and the unbelievably true story of how Sam Raimi swapped in his own cut of “Darkman” when the studio tried to release their own version. 

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It’s the definitive Sam Raimi film - a “symphony of silly” with a bravura performance from Bruce Campbell, and a prevailing sense of, “the more gore the merrier!” John Hodgman - who, believe it or not, was Bruce Campbell’s literary agent! - joins us to chat about the magic of “Evil Dead II” and what puts it in the pantheon of “sequels that improve upon the original installment.” Also in this episode - we imagine the time when Sam Raimi, the Coens, Frances McDormand, and Holly Hunter were all roommates in Silverlake; a behind the scenes look at the publication of Bruce Campbell’s best-selling memoir “If Chins Could Kill”; and an unrelated but very involved tangent about the Peanuts comic strip. 

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Sam Raimi directed a movie between “The Evil Dead” and “Evil Dead II” that was written by the Coen Brothers and no one ever talks about it…until NOW! Actor Brendan Hines (“The Tick”, “Locke and Key”) joins us to make sense of this early career oddity - a tonal mishmash of slapstick and film noir that we’d later see more successfully executed in films like “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” and “The Mask”. Topics discussed include: the difficulties in scaling up the indie production model; Bruce Campbell’s evolving star persona; whether or not you can actually wash dishes in lieu of paying for your meal; and more!

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It’s Sam Raimi time - groovy! Our new series PODCAST ME TO HELL kicks off with a banger - 1981’s ultra-low-budget horror classic “The Evil Dead”. We’ll be taking you back to Royal Oak, Michigan, to explain how Raimi linked up with Bruce Campbell and the Coen Brothers, thus establishing a very consequential partnership. We’ll be dissecting exactly why this film (from a lean 14-page script!!) works so well. David will admit that he first learned about this movie from watching “Donnie Darko”. And then all of a sudden…*CRASH*...a branch goes through the window! All that, plus TWO box office games!

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It’s Hollywood’s biggest night - that’s right, it’s the Seventh Annual Blankies! “This Had Oscar Buzz” host Joe Reid joins us as always to celebrate our favorite films of 2021. Will Griffin award something weird this year? Is anyone going to stump for Being The Ricardos? What crazy categories will Ben come up with? Walk down the red carpet and find out!

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An unseen presence looming over the two friends, a man who has definitely ridden a dang horse, a larger than life character about whom many have speculated…are we talking about Bronco Hosley or Bronco Henry? Trolls impresario and Vanity Fair critic Richard Lawson makes his tenth (!!) appearance on the pod to unpack Jane Campion’s “The Power of the Dog.” Did Campion figure out the best use of Benedict Cumberbatch’s screen presence? Is anthrax the poison with the coolest name? Can you imagine Gerard Depardieu starring in this - it’s apparently his favorite book! All that, plus our final Campion rankings and the announcement of our next series.

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You may as well call this episode “Ode to a Whishaw” because we love that gentle gent! Fran Hoepfner joins us (and joins the Five-Timers Club!) to discuss Jane Campion’s 2006 John Keats biopic “Bright Star,” a movie that prompts Griffin to wonder if he, too, would die of tuberculosis if he took a long walk in the rain in 1820. Of course we talk about Hampstead Heath (David being canonically from London), of course we wonder what the hell happened to Paul Schneider (canonically incredible in this movie), and of course Ben is obsessed with Fanny Brawne’s epic Regency Era fits!  

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Want to hear us talk about how hot Mark Ruffalo is for two hours? Oooh boy, do we have a treat for you! Wikipedia-cited “In The Cut” stan Jourdain Searles joins us to unpack Jane Campion’s unjustly maligned erotic thriller. What happens to actresses once they turn 40? Would this movie have fared better with audiences if - instead of America’s Sweetheart Meg Ryan - it starred an edgier Nicole Kidman as originally planned? Do you remember the SCANDAL when Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe? Why did we care so much about that? 

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Is it nobler to try to pee on camera and fail than it is to not try at all? Does Harvey Keitel’s performance in this film only work when he puts on a dress? What the hell is going on in this movie?! David’s Fest Friend Forever Kyle Buchanan (author of the forthcoming “Blood, Sweat & Chrome: The Wild and True Story of Mad Max: Fury Road”) joins us to answer those questions and more as we discuss Jane Campion’s bugnuts exploration of power dynamics - 1999’s “Holy Smoke!” Come for the Winslet career breakdown, stay for Kyle’s “amazeballs” anecdotes about Campion on the international festival circuit.

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This lady might not be “on fire” but she IS wearing a 19 inch corset! Social media maven Marie Bardi joins the boys to dissect Campion’s tepidly received follow-up to “The Piano” - the emotionally claustrophobic 1996 Henry James adaptation “The Portrait of a Lady”. If “The Piano” gave Jane her Blank Check, this film is a big swing and (in our opinion) a slight miss. Topics discussed include: John Malkovich’s clothing line for the modern dandy; the unfortunate plastic surgery-shaming of actress Barbara Hershey; Viggo Mortsenson’s performance in “Green Book” (one of our favorite topics);  and, of course, the queen of AMC Theaters herself - Nicole Kidman.

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Just imagine…it’s 1993. Bill Clinton is in the White House, Seinfeld is on TV, and America has PIANO FEVER! Newly-minted member of the Five Timers Club Esther Zuckerman joins us to unpack Campion’s Oscar-Winning erotic drama (possibly the first prestige pic to feature mild butt play). We’re asking all the tough questions: is “The King’s Daughter” the new “Margaret”? Should Harvey Keitel play Wolverine? Did Sam Neill tell Anna Paquin that he was going to work with actual dinosaurs after their shoot? Does Mr. Skin have a film critic on staff? 

Check out Esther's new book Beyond the Best Dressed: A Cultural History of the Most Glamorous, Radical, and Scandalous Oscar Fashion

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Dana Stevens (Slate.com / Her new Buster Keaton biography “Cameraman”) returns to the pod to *literally* wax poetic about the literary coming-of-age story “An Angel At My Table”. The film is an intimate, often heartbreaking saga of a woman discovering her own creative voice…and yes, the woman just happens to look like Little Orphan Annie. The gang discusses the film within the context of other films that show age progression through the casting of multiple actors; the context of films that depict mental illness; and the context of small redheaded children with very curly, almost spherical hair, who may or may not have hard knock lives. Plus - possibly our most obscure box office game yet, and some genuine Janet Frame poetry reading!

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We’ve climbed up in our childhood treehouse and we’re not coming down! Sarah Violet Bliss (Search Party) joins us to talk about “Sweetie” - Jane Campion’s off-kilter meditation on suburbia and sibling rivalry. Revelations within the episode include the fact that David was part of the “Neighbours Society” at Uni (a group of students in favor of airing the Aussie soap in common areas twice daily); that one of the IMDB tags for this movie is “Rides A Man Like A Horse”; that Producer Ben has *definitely* known a few Sweetie-types in his life; and more! 

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We’re kicking off our Jane Campion miniseries with her feature-length debut, auspiciously titled “Two Friends” - perhaps she has a competitive advantage? The backwards-structured script (the OG temporal pincer movement) leads the crew to reflect on their own adolescence…did you know David was already six feet tall at the age of twelve? And Ben was rocking size twelve shoes in middle school? Griffin may get a singular chest hair in 2022? Come for our Campion-filmography table setting, stay for a surprising amount of Simpsons discussion.

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Happy New Year! We’re going back to the Matrix - which we last covered in 2016 (!!) - and we’re feeling pretty good about it! Seraph was a login screen, sure…but is “Tiffany” a .TIFF? Is Agent Smith just a virus? Are we taking crazy pills for liking this movie so much? Jack in and let’s fly, Blankies.

Opening clip is from Howl's Moving Castle with David Ehrlich

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They said it couldn’t be done. Remaking possibly the most revered movie musical of all time?! A fool’s errand! But folks, we’ve learned a very important lesson…NEVER DOUBT STEVEN SPIELBERG. Especially when he’s teaming up with Tony “Dank” Kushner! David pinpoints the exact moments he wept during his multiple viewings of this most recent iteration of “West Side Story”; Ben praises all the dust and hot people; Griffin thinks that he probably needs to see it again. Grab your dancing shoes and meet us at the gym - it’s our final episode of 2021, and it’s time to MAMBO, Blankies! 

Plus, check out the Slow Xmas 2021 holiday music compilation now on Spotify and Bandcamp! Please support the bands/artists featured on this album.

Andrew BryantSpotifyApple MusicBandcampYouTubeWebsiteTwitterInstagram

Ian FergusonSpotifyApple MusicBandcampWebsite

GymshortsSpotify (band)Spotify (Sarah Greenwell's solo project Greeensleeves)Apple MusicBandcampGreenway RecordsTwitterInstagram (band)Instagram (solo)

Jason Hawk HarrisSpotifyApple MusicBandcampYouTubeBloodshot RecordsWebsiteTwitterInstagram

Sad13SpotifyApple MusicBandcampYouTubeSoundcloudWebsiteTwitterInstagram

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Alert the horny police, because we’re taking ourselves to a nunnery with the Dirty Dutch Daddy himself - Paul Verhoeven! The gang goes bonkers for “Benedetta'', and Producer Ben-edetta reveals that he has an almost-saint in his family - one more miracle, and Ben gets to go to the Vatican! We discuss the connections between “Benedetta” and Verhoeven’s previous films (Sister Benedetta is a bit of a Catherine Trammell, and not just because she likes the ladies), do a smelly deep dive into the history of Professional Flatulists, and say a few prayers asking God to let Verhoeven make a big Hollywood movie again.

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We’ve spent four months in the Mouth of Madness with the Horror Master, and we’ve reached the end point of Carpenter’s directorial career...for now. A man who has *actually collaborated with John Carpenter* - Drew McWeeny (writer of Carpenter’s installments in the Masters of Horror series) - joins us to recontextualize our journey through Carpenter’s filmography with some exclusive behind-the-scenes tidbits. The Two Friends also discuss the strange career trajectory of Amber Heard (starting with the festival-smash-that-doesn’t-exist ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE), present their final Carpenter rankings, and reveal which Auteur they’ll cover on the podcast next. Plus - Ben learns the fun British term “video nasty” from David who grew up in England?

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Contrary to popular belief (and Wikipedia), this film was NOT supposed to be another installment in the Snake Plissken series - John Carpenter just thought it would be cool to make a movie about Mars “because it’s red.” Galaxy Brain’s Dave Schilling and Jonah Ray join us to dissect Carpenter’s take on that dusty red planet, his obsession with crossfades, and his lackluster deployment of Pam Grier. Why *is* Mars a matriarchal society in this movie? We thought Mars needed moms…

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They’re not just Vampires, they’re John Carpenter’s Vampires!  “Closer in patina” to a classic Howard Hawks western than anything Carpenter’s ever done, this film is nasty, gruesome, and devoid of any of the “teenyboppers” and romanticism that had become hallmarks of the slasher and vampire genres, respectively. David Ehrlich (Indiewire) joins us as we go deep into the woods - James Woods, that is - and come out with the least memorable Baldwin brother. Strada Chocolata!

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Less of a sequel and more of a “next gen video game re-skin,” Snake Plissken is back in “Escape from LA” and this time he’s got a surfboard! The “Gourley and Rust” guys join us to ponder whether or not a big budget is actually *bad* for John Carpenter. On the one hand, we get a Carp, Kurt, and Debra Hill reunion! On the other…those submarine sequences.

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It’s not “Children of the Damned” nor “Children of the Corn” nor “Corn of the Damned” - it’s John Carpenter’s “Village of the Damned,” goddamnit! Creepy blonde kids with laser eyes! Our guest Amy Nicholson’s (“Unspooled”) boyfriend thinks she looks like one of them. Griffin thinks David’s baby has “Village of the Damned” eyes, too. But is this movie actually scary enough? “Needs more menace!” per Ben. Topics covered include the Razzies, formative cinematic crushes, Christopher Reeve’s star persona, and a Chuck Norris movie that has him teaming up with a dog to take down an alliance of White Supremacist groups. 

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Just in time for Halloween - it’s the conclusion of Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy” and one of the best Lovecraftian horrors ever to grace the silver screen! Vulture’s Angelica Jade Bastién joins us to chat “In the Mouth of Madness,” and we wonder - is Sam Neill a “dang ass freak”? Should this movie take place in a more “airport paperback” environment, like a beach town? What would you do if you saw the head of production at New Line getting…uh… “serviced” in public at an Oscar party? Grab your Sutter Cane book and listen up!

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In which we try to find the John Carpenter in what is overwhelmingly a Chevy Chase vanity project. The legendary Alan Sepinwall (Rolling Stone) joins us to make sense of this befuddling genre mishmash. What are the invisibility rules of this movie? Who is the silver-voiced British man named “Richard” and is that his real voice? Is Chevy Chase good at acting? Does it matter? In this movie…yeah, it kind of does! We’re sad to see the Carpenter hot streak end with this movie, but that’s what Blank Check is all about - the bounces, baby!

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Don’t adjust your sunglasses - it’s another epic crossover podcast! The Doughboys join #TheTwoFriends to tackle Carpenter’s still-relevant anti-capitalist alien action classic. Is “Rowdy” Roddy Piper the greatest wrestler-turned-actor? Who actually wrote the iconic bubblegum line? Which hard seltzer is the best and why is it White Claw Surge? And yes, of course we have to talk about that iconic fight scene.

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Every filmmaker gets one “Satan in a jar in a basement” movie and this is John Carpenter’s! Keith Phipps (The Next Picture Podcast) joins us to chat “the anti-God,” fictional British scientist Bernard Quatermass, and young David Sims’ humble beginnings as an “It’s Always Sunny” recapper at the AVClub. The boys also establish that Ben loves “wet evil” and that the special effects makeup artist on PRINCE OF DARKNESS also worked with Griffin on DRAFT DAY!

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You know what ol’ Jack Burton would do on an episode like this? Bring back Jason Mantzoukas and Paul Scheer, of course! The HOW DID THIS GET MADE? guys make their triumphant return to Blank Check to discuss yet another Kurt Russell masterpiece, and lament the lack of Russell-esque stars in today’s Hollywood landscape. There’s some John Landis slander and a shout-out to Kit Fisto - this episode TRULY has everything!

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Voyager II may be approaching the “Termination Shock” (Ben’s new favorite phrase), but we’re on earth cherishing the otherworldly romance of John Carpenter’s STARMAN! Vanity Fair’s Katey Rich returns to discuss Jeff Bridges’ impressive performance, the illustrious career of Hollywood script doctor “Dinky” Dean Reisner, and the one sandwich that’s actually supposed to have paprika on it (whatever deviled egg thing Karen Allen orders at the diner in this movie).

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It’s the Blank Check / Kingcast crossover event you’ve all been waiting for! Scott Wampler and Eric Vespe join us to discuss John Carpenter’s “Christine” - the first Stephen King adaptation we’ve covered. What is more terrifying - a sexy vintage car that kills people? Or Barbra Streisand’s basement mall? A difficult question, we know.

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Here’s the thing about THE THING - it might be the best movie we’ve ever covered? Emily St. James joins us (and joins the five-timers club!) to discuss Carpenter’s Arctic paranoia classic, which was unfairly maligned upon release. Topics covered include the “Brimley COCOON Line,” the film as a trans allegory, and dogs getting their faces peeled back like bananas.

Checkout Emily’s podcast What to Watch on the Vox Quick Hits feed or the scripted series Arden!

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Grab your eyepatches - it’s Snake Plissken time! Karen Han joins the gang to chat Carpenter’s action classic ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK - which was actually filmed in St. Louis! Topics covered include NSFW tattoos, Lee Van Cleef’s badass gravestone, the 90s documentary where Ernest Borgnine just drives a bus, and John Carpenter’s rather pedestrian taste in video games. “Fallout 76”??? C’mon, John!

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A film brave enough to ask the question - what if there was fog? Just kidding - this movie is ACTUALLY about vengeful pirate ghosts and a lady with a sexy radio voice. CANDYMAN’s Nia DaCosta returns to the pod to ask whether or not fog is scary if you aren’t driving through it. Producer Ben wonders if the titular fog should have had a voice. Plus, we explore the history of spooky lighthouse movies.

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It’s our biggest episode EVER as Alex Ross Perry brings his own dossier of talking points to tackle 1978’s iconic HALLOWEEN. We explore the history of American independent cinema as seen through the lens of the low-budget horror genre, and determine who’d be included in the slasher villain Mount Rushmore (Chucky isn’t carved into the rock; he’d be working at the gift shop).

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John Carpenter puts his own spin on Howard Hawks’ iconic western RIO BRAVO and Griffin learns about “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” - it’s our ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 episode! Screenwriter and film critic April Wolfe (2019’s BLACK CHRISTMAS) joins us as we discuss the most dramatic vanilla ice cream cone of all time. Is this one of Carpenter’s best musical scores? Gonna go ahead and say YES.

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Our long-awaited John Carpenter series kicks off with his ultra-low budget oddity debut DARK STAR. Ben goes Hollywood (actually, “Hosleywood”) to record with Emily Yoshida - the Mother of Blankies herself - *in person* in Los Angeles, and the gang debates possible names for the series. We landed on “They Podcast” - which is a departure from Griffin’s far sweatier suggestions. Join us as we set the table for Carpenter’s filmography, and go deep on this film, which could also just be called “Space Dirtbags,” per Emily.

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What if there was a beach that made you old? Only the mischievous mind of M. Night Shyamalan could conjure such a place! The gang (including Shyamalan Superfan and Blank Check social media manager Marie Bardi) dives into M. Night’s latest offering. Is it a “Glassterpiece”? Does Griffin even know what age he is anymore? Did Ben always have those wrinkles on his face?

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Welcome to the slam, it’s time to jam - it’s our first in-person recording since the pandemic! Griffin’s brother James Newman returns to the pod to chat BASKETBALL, a topic that Griffin now knows slightly more about after watching The Last Dance. Is LeBron a bad actor? Does anyone really understand the complicated metaphysics of the Warner Bros Serververse? Join us as we discuss!

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It’s the direct-to-Crackle sequel to our original Clifford episode from four years ago! Clifford superfan and comedy legend Tom Scharpling (“The Best Show,” his new memoir “It Never Ends”) joins us to wax poetic on Martin Short and eulogize the great Charles Grodin. The guys also give pitches for an actual Clifford sequel. Would it involve a prison break? Ben thinks so!

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