Brain First Parenting with Eileen Devine

SUMMARY - When you are the parent of a child or teen with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms, it is a common experience to not have your experience, as the parent, acknowledged or supported. This is the other side of the "coin" when parenting from a Brain First lens, and deserves (and requires) as much attention and support as the other side of the "coin", which is the child and their needs. In this episode, Eileen reflects on her own experience, as well as those of parents she has worked with, highlighting the importance of attending to your well-being as a parent of a complex child with intense needs.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Understanding both sides of the Brain First Parenting "coin" is essential to being able to thrive in the experience of parenting a child with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms.
• The first side is understanding your child's unique neurobiology and parenting them in alignment with how their brain and nervous system works. The other side, which is largely ignored or unacknowledged, is the lived experience of the parent.
• Why it is essential to acknowledge the unique (and often hard) aspects of parenting a child or teen with intense needs, and why this is where healing can take place.

If you feel like you would benefit from one-to-one, individualized support, you can checkout the parent coaching support Eileen offers parents just like you.

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Tending Both Sides of the Parenting Coin

Reconsidering What It Means to Be Resilient

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

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SUMMARY - In this episode, Eileen walks through a common fear that many parents hold, which is that if they fully accommodate their child or teen, that they will prevent their child from growing, developing and maturing.

TAKEAWAYS

• Why, exactly, we provide accommodations to kids, teens, and young adults who have brain-based differences
• Why accommodations are the path towards less challenging behavioral symptoms
• It is a normal part of learning to parent from a Brain First lens to have a concern that you (the parent) are over-accommodating your child or teen
• We all need adequate support in our various environments to be able to keep our thinking brain on-line, stay in our window of tolerance and grow in our skills
• When kids live with brain-based differences and a fragile nervous system, they need even greater accommodations to experience felt-safety and navigate their world successfully, due to their unique neurobiology
• Accommodations do not stunt growth, they are the very thing that promotes growth and helps our kids mature

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

6 Key Questions that Lead to Effective Accommodations

Understanding the Window of Tolerance - Pt. 1

The Brain First approach will change how you parent

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

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SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen will break down the common and often exhausting behavioral symptom called perseveration. She takes the listeners through what perseveration looks like behaviorally, so parents can identify it in their child or teen; how it is connected to the brain; and how parents can help their child when they get stuck in perseveration loops.

TAKEAWAYS

• The definition of perseveration
• The difference between perseveration and OCD
• How to see this behavioral symptom through a Brain First lens
• What cognitive skills are connected to perseveration
• How you can identify preservation in your child or teen
• What you can do as a parent to help break the perseveration loop your child or teen is stuck in
• Common experiences for a parent who has a child or teen experiencing perseveration

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Getting Unstuck: 4 Ways to Help Your Child Break the Perseveration Loop

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen takes you, step-by-step, through a universal and highly misunderstood characteristic seen in kids and teens with brain-based differences, which is a maturity gap in comparison to same-aged peers. She explains how this gap is connected to the brain, how to identify it for what it is (as a lagging cognitive skill set), and how to more successfully support a child or teen who experiences this gap.

TAKEAWAYS

• Why kids with brain-based differences so often behave in ways that are seen as "immature"
• How this "immaturity" is connected to their unique brain
• How this behavioral symptom is typically viewed (through a behavioral lens), and how to shift our understanding of it to a Brain First lens
• Dysmaturity: what it is and how to identify it in your child or teen
• How to respond to dysmaturity from a Brain First lens, allowing you to help your child or teen grow in their cognitive skills
• Common experiences for a parent who has a child or teen experiencing dysmaturity

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Helping Our Children Navigate Friendships

Dysmaturity and the Challenges of Friendship

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen explains why kids who live with neurobehavioral conditions and are always seen as "the problem," are actually kids who are doing the best they can; they are highly misunderstood and need more support for their brain-based difference. She explains how the actual problem is society's view of behaviors, and how this behavioral lens is what leads to kids with brain-based differences experiencing challenging behavioral symptoms.

TAKEAWAYS

• Kids with brain-based differences are not "the problem." The "problem" begins with the way in which society views their differences.
• Viewing behaviors through a Brain First lens allows us to see challenging behaviors as symptoms of an environment that is lacking needed accommodations.
• It is essential to look at the true, root cause of the behavior, so that adequate supports can be put in place, which leads to less of the challenging behaviors.

RELATED BLOG POST:

Your Child is Not the ‘Problem’... It's Actually Society’s Narrow Lens

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen dives into a common characteristic in children and teens with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms, which is 'on 'and 'off' days. Eileen begins helping parents identify this common lagging skill in their kids, and how they can begin to accommodate their child or teen as it relates to on and off days.

TAKEAWAYS

• The definition of 'on' and 'off' days as it related to cognitive skills.
• How on and off days are linked to a brain that functions differently.
• What this lagging skill looks like behaviorally.
• What factors can lead to a child or teen living with a brain-based difference to have off days.
• How not recognizing off days can lead to burnout for the parent.
• How parents can work to see on and off days as a "brain thing" and how they can respond to off days in ways that result in skills growth and increased connection.

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY -

In this episode, Eileen explains why so many kids and teens with brain-based differences struggle to make and keep friends, and how parents can support their children by building the cognitive skills required to be in relationship with peers.

TAKEAWAYS

• Why the process of making and keeping friends creates nearly universal challenges for kids and teens with brain-based differences.
• How to see this challenge through a Brain First Parenting lens (vs a behavioral lens).
• The specific lagging cognitive skills that get in the way of your child or teen having successful peer relationships.
• How parents can help their children grow in these cognitive skills.
• Common experiences for the parent of a child who struggles with making and keeping friends and why it's important to recognize the emotions this common struggles can bring to the forefront as a parent.

RELATED BLOG POSTS:

Moving Forward by Circling Back

'Why Can't We Be Friends?' - ​Cognitive Skills Your Child Needs for Successful Relationships...

Helping Our Children Navigate Friendships

Dysmaturity and the Challenges of Friendship

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY

In this episode, Eileen explains what it looks like when a child, teen, or young adult lags behind in the skills to be cognitively flexible, and how to then accommodate them in this specific skill set.

TAKEAWAYS

• The definition of cognitive rigidity
• Common behaviors that reflect this lagging skill in kids and teens
• How parents can help their children and teens grow in this cognitive skill set
• What parents can expect to see, think, and feel as they shift their lens from a behavioral lens to a Brain First lens with this specific skill set
• Concrete and specific steps parents can take to support and accommodate a child or teen who struggles with cognitive flexibility

RESOURCES

Blog Post: The Uncompromising Child: Four Responses to Rigid Thinking

Free Infographic Poster: 8 Necessary Mind Shifts

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY

In this episode, Eileen delves into the first step to understanding a neurodiverse child, teen, or young adult with challenging behaviors.

TAKEAWAYS

• This first, essential step to understanding your child who lives with a brain-based difference and challenging behaviors begins with neuroscience research on the brain/behavior connection.
• Understanding the foundation behind the Brain First Parenting approach is where we always need to begin as parents.
• Feeling internal resistance to seeing your child or teen through a Brain First lens is understandable, expected, and an opportunity for growth.
• The difference between seeing your child or teen through a behavioral lens vs a Brain First lens.

RESOURCES

Your Lens Matters FREE downloadable infographic

Blog Post: The Brain First Approach Will Change How You Parent

Blog Post: Looking Through a Different Lens

Thanks for listening! Please be sure to review and share the Brain First Parenting podcast with any listeners who might be interested. To see more tools, resources and learn more about Eileen you can visit eileendevine.com

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

SUMMARY

In this first episode, Eileen introduces herself and explains how Brain First Parenting came to be. She shares personal stories about her own experience of parenting a teenage daughter who lives with a serious and permanent brain-based disability (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). Eileen also talks about her therapy and coaching practice where, for the last decade, she has supported parents who are also parenting kids, teens, and young adults with brain-based differences and challenging behavioral symptoms, and how this led to the creation of Brain First Parenting.

RESOURCES

Learn more about Diane Malbin and her FACETS Program.

More about the work of Dr. Ross Greene

Dr. Kristin Neff's work on Self Compassion

Thanks for listening! Please be sure to review and share the Brain First Parenting podcast with any listeners who might be interested. To see more tools, resources and learn more about Eileen you can visit eileendevine.com

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest

Welcome to the Brain First Parenting podcast with Eileen Devine! I'm thrilled you're here, and look forward to diving into the many elements of the Brain First parenting approach in the episodes to come. This trailer -- Episode 0! -- is a brief introduction to my goals and hopes for this podcast, and an invitation to parents and caregivers who will benefit from this transformational parenting model.

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

Pinterest