119 - One Hundred Nineteen

[TRANSCRIPT]

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I picked a house a little bit at random the other day - it was on a block of a bunch of sweet craftsman homes and this one had a nice tree in the yard and when I went inside the power actually worked so… 

I guess that isn’t entirely random. But it isn’t like it was entirely deliberate either. But it turns out, it’s nice. It’s really nice. All the furniture is, well, it’s dusty as hell, but it’s nice furniture. The kitchen is a pretty decent size and has this big window that looks out on the backyard. Which is, of course, very overgrown, but with a little bit of work—

I don’t know why my instinct is to settle down here. I know I said I wanted to take a break from driving for a little while and that’s true—especially now that the days are short—but I keep looking around this place and thinking about how long certain repairs are going to take me, or what kind of garden I could turn the backyard into. 

What kind of garden I could turn it into, that is. I’m hoping that being in a warmer climate will make it easier to grow things, but I’ve still got to start simple. Pick produce that’s hearty, hard to kill. 

See? I keep having thoughts like that and then I have to stop and remind myself that I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t have to make a home, or anything, just because I’m tired. I can just…relax in a place for a little while. It doesn’t have to be constant work. 

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Not that I’m going to just sit here and what…read? Walk around the reservoir—

Oh yeah, there’s a really beautiful lake near here—the Silver Lake reservoir. I think I made the right choice with this neighborhood. I’ve certainly christened it, what with waking up in a bar this morning, I…

I think I may have gotten a little carried away. I had my radio with me and I’m not sure if I said…well, let’s just say I had a lot to drink and I don’t totally remember if I got on and broadcast anything after the beach so if I did let’s just pretend I didn’t. 

Anyway, I’m not going to be a total layabout. I’m not gonna wake up in a bar again. Part of why I wanted to take a beat, have one central living spot for a little bit is to…process everything. It feels right, now that I’m on the other side of the country and it’s almost been half a year since I left. The right time to think back on the trip so far and…yeah, process. 

Because there are things—a lot of things—that don’t make any sense to me. And for so long those things have been too small or too mysterious to really do anything about. I’ve had nowhere to start when it comes to figuring out what the hell is going on, what the hell happened in Estes Park, what the hell your whole deal is, Birdie. I’ve been taking notes on everything you’ve ever said, every weird thing that happened to me on the road, and maybe it’s time for me to…Dick Tracy it. Get out the red string and try to put the clues together. Or, at the very least, figure out the best things to ask you when I eventually do get you back on the radio. And I'm going to. 

I meant what I said on New Year’s Eve. I’m going to find you. And that’s…that’s not a threat. But it is a promise. 

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