213 - Two Hundred Thirteen

[TRANSCRIPT]

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(tipsy) Donnie and I have kissed and made up. 

Well, obviously we haven’t kissed. But, you know what I mean. We drank a lot of beer—apparently the moment he got to Massachusetts, he started stockpiling, which is really so typical. But it helped. Our issues are resolved. Without anyone having to kiss anybody else. 

(a laugh) Poor Donnie. He was pretty sad when I told him I hadn’t found anyone else beside Leann and Junior. Not that there’s no one else out there to find but…you know. The odds don’t look great. But the poor guy hasn’t had sex in seven years and I think it’s making him crazier than not having anyone to talk—

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(off mic)—c'mon

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(off mic) —not. Sh! (on mic) Anyway, not like I’ve seen any action in the last seven years because I haven’t. Despite what some people might—

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(off mic)—not ever, I promise. (on mic) He doesn’t believe me. But he should. If I did have anything to report, I’m sure you would’ve heard about it already, my night people, my listeners, because I’m not sure I would’ve ever been able to fucking shut up about it. Oh, come—

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He’s laughing at me. This is an absurd conversation. (off mic) And you’re an absurd person. (laughing) Oh yeah, well how about the impressions, how do you—

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