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Breaker Whiskey

221 - Two Hundred Twenty One

4 min • 27 maj 2024

[TRANSCRIPT]

[click, static]

Harry, I’m sorry but I’m…I’m not coming. Not—not right now. I don’t know when I’ll be able to—I mean, I know I can’t stay. I know that I have to keep moving, that I can’t let myself become a sitting duck for Junior to—

[click, static]

I buried Donnie today. It took…all day. It wasn’t easy or pleasant or—

I just wanted to give him some peace. I think I picked a spot that he would have liked. I did what I could to make a marker and—

[click, static]

Fuck. I just can’t believe he’s gone. Nothing about it feels real. Nothing about finding him even felt real, I was just getting used to the idea and now he’s—

[click, static]

It’s not that I blame you, Harry. But I also…don’t not. I know this is all my fault, that we’re here, that Don is—was here—that Junior feels he needs to get revenge or find his way out through blood but—

How far do we go back, you know? How far until we find the root of the blame? Billings’ death was the catalyst, but I never would’ve tried to escape if we hadn’t gotten that flat tire. Is it the prison’s fault for not taking care of their vans? Is it some administrator’s fault for transferring us to wherever it was we were going? Is it Pete’s fault for deciding on that job? Or all of our fault for not fighting back the moment the cops found us. 

Or is it your fault, Harry, for us being in that position in the first place? For your selfish and short-sighted—

[click, static]

Goddammit. 

[click, static]

I buried Don today and all I can think about is every single thing I did that led to this point. Back then, sure, but also…this week. Yesterday. A month ago. If I hadn’t sought him out, if I hadn’t found him, if I hadn’t left to find you—

[click, static]

If I’d just listened to Fox. 

What if I had listened? Did you know this would happen, Fox? Is that what you were trying to communicate to me? If so, you did an absolute shit job. If there was a way—if there is a way—for me to fix all of this, you need to tell me, and tell me plainly. 

[click, static]

[beeps]

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Doesn’t need fixing

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