226 - Two Hundred Twenty Six

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[TRANSCRIPT]

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We—we figured out where Junior was holed up. I couldn’t say that on the radio when we were still…I didn’t want to mess up anything we might attempt by blabbing about it. Even if we weren’t agreeing on what we wanted to attempt. 

He wanted to kill Junior. I wanted to run. It’s a big country, we can—I’m confident that we could hide. Junior could keep coming and coming but if we went far enough and remote enough and I threw away my radio and just lived with Harry and Don, gave up hope finding anyone else…we would’ve been okay. Finding us would’ve been a nearly insurmountable task. 

Then again, with Fox giving coordinates out of peoples’ locations…maybe not. That was Don’s argument. I figured we could defend ourselves if it came to that but…

But he wanted to go home. He—he was so much the same, but I think being here, alone…I think it broke him somehow. He was…harsher, had a shorter temper. I didn’t—it didn’t fucking matter, you know? That he had this look in his eye or that he snapped a little more because we were together and also, I understood. I got softer and he got harder and the central difference between our experiences is that he was alone and I wasn’t. If I’d been by myself all that time, I think I’d be out for blood too. 

I didn’t want to believe…

It turns out he was right. I think he was right. I know Birdie didn’t answer me, but what if Junior dying is the solution? I don’t understand how but, would I…

No. I’ve already—I’m paying for what I’ve done. And it’s not my right to try and undo that. 

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