508. Beth Miller

My deepest devotion, throughout my life has been to the discovery and embodiment of our truest nature. I studied organized and mystical religions, I traveled to many countries in our world, getting a taste of different cultures and people, I lived a conventional suburban life as a wife and mother, I lived in chronic confusion, and I studied psychology, all with the gnawing question of ‘what is all this really about?’ tugging at my sleeve. I was born in Brooklyn New York, into a world where appearances were everything, but I tended an inner world that I kept to myself. When I look back on how I was “companioned” throughout my childhood by my inner world that was full of comfort and promise I marvel at the wisdom and strength of this stream of consciousness. After raising my two sons, I went to graduate school to study psychology and find professional legitimacy, and to focus on my interior. I had, for a long time, known I needed to heal from childhood trauma and I also felt a calling to help others. But, like so many of us, I had looked to the external world for this elusive happiness and healing I felt was missing. After completing my degree, I built a satisfyingly delicious career – with the same gnawing question in my heart – how do I reconcile pain and confusion with a life-long intuited knowing of a greater consciousness or awareness? In addition to a private practice of psychotherapy, I taught at California Institute of Integral Studies and the University of California at San Francisco. I was the therapist for a pilot study at Stanford and led workshops and presentations for cultivating resilience. (My first book is The Woman’s Book of Resilience – twelve qualities to cultivate). I began to follow and study spiritual teachers: Adyashanti, David Hawkins, Mooji and Jan Frazier. After decades of devoted searching, I was guided by Jan Frazier and experienced a profound shift in consciousness at the age of 70. (Poster child for it never being too late) This realization allowed the inner and the outer world to melt into each other. After decades of healing and opening to larger and larger states of consciousness, the search ended. This shift set my course, in a humbling and wondrous way, to deeper and further understanding, to embodying and, most importantly, living what had been revealed. In the sweet presence of now, I am along for the ride of intimate contact with whatever life has in store from moment to moment and day to day. In my bones, I understand what it means to be intimate with 10,000 things. Website: bethmillerphd.com Book: Waking Up on the Couch Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group. Summary and transcript of this interview. Interview recorded June 29, 2019 YouTube Video Chapters: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump 00:05:24 - Childhood in the Atmosphere of War and Powerlessness 00:11:17 - The Dream of Unbounded Presence 00:15:05 - Dreams as Messages from God 00:19:25 - The First and Biggest Disillusionment 00:24:15 - The Metaphor of the Movie 00:27:47 - Becoming Radically Honest with Ourselves 00:33:40 - The Play of God 00:38:29 - The Wisdom in Life's Buffeting 00:42:11 - The Transformative Power of Psychotherapy 00:47:18 - Becoming a Better Human Being 00:51:59 - A Familiar Presence 00:56:52 - The Contagiousness of Intimacy and Awakening 01:00:06 - Losing Sense of Boundaries 01:04:29 - The Love That Showed Up 01:08:53 - The Shift on the Last Day of the Retreat 01:11:59 - The Value of Presence in Integration 01:15:29 - Awakening and the Body 01:19:36 - The Power of Pure Consciousness 01:23:16 - Trusting Life and Comprehending Something 01:26:59 - Being Grounded in Being 01:31:28 - The Importance of Facing and Feeling Human Pain 01:35:20 - Becoming Transparent and Clear with Ourselves 01:40:16 - A Shift in Perspective