“Christmas with the Kranks” Movie Review

Christmas with the Kranks – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 78

“You’ve tried the rest, now try us.”

Podcast cucks Daniel and Corky contemplate skipping Christmas for the rest of their lives after suffering through Joe Roth’s sad and depressing Christmas with the Kranks. Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis play soulless twits in this sour, misanthropic, materialist nightmare of a Christmas movie made by some of the most privileged people on the planet. This exhausting parade of white people’s Christmas problems offers only banality, blandness, and the most desperately unfunny sitcom hijinks imaginable.

Meanwhile, Daniel and Corky discuss canned ham slapstick, Squiggy cameos, and menacing Christmas carols.

NEW DARES

The Beast of War (Nick Paticchio)

CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS FACTS AND FIGURES

Daniel’s craft beer: Fieldwork Brewing’s Glorzo DIPA (8.3% ABV)

Corky’s craft beer: Kern River Brewing’s Chuuurch! IPA (7.6% ABV)

Theatrical release date: Nov. 24, 2004

Domestic box office: $73.8 million (production budget: $60 million)

Critic scores: 5 on Rotten Tomatoes; 22 on Metacritic

This week’s darer: Julio from The Contrarians podcast

IMDB synopsis: “With their daughter, Blair, away, Luther and Nora Krank decide to skip Christmas all together until she decides to come home, causing an uproar when they have to celebrate it at the last minute.”

Why did Julio dare Daniel and Corky to watch Christmas with the Kranks? “For the longest time, whenever we watched a bad movie for our show, I’d bring us home by asking my co-host, ‘Was it worse than Christmas with the Kranks?’ The answer was always no.”

This week’s referenced movies: Feds; The Great Train Robbery (1903); Waterworld; Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves; Extreme Measures; The Last House on the Left; Crank; Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise; Lucky Numbers; Better Off Dead; Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas; It’s a Wonderful Life; Paper Moon; the Halloween movies; The Room; the Home Alone movies; Norbit; Jerry Maguire; Gotti; Gigli

Ratings: Daniel – Double Dare; Corky – Double Dare

CLIPS AND CLIPPINGS

Theatrical trailer for Christmas with the Kranks

Hickory honey ham hilarity

Botox-ic masculinity

“I definitely have breast cancer.”

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Read more of Daniel’s movie reviews at Dare Daniel and Rotten Tomatoes.

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