“Warcraft” Podcast Movie Review

Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 44 – Warcraft: The Beginning (2016; Duncan Jones)

“Everyone is constantly explaining things, and yet nothing makes any sense.”

The Beginning is the end is the beginning this week on the Dare Daniel Podcast.  Magic school dropouts Daniel Barnes and Corky McDonnell travel to the Uncanny Valley to review Duncan Jones’ incomprehensible Warcraft.

A film that only serves to set up the many sequels that will never get made, Warcraft is all ambition and no execution.  It creates a world where motion-captured orcs feel less fake than actual humans.  The Bud Light commercial-level production design and an unfathomably dull lead actor do no favors to the nonsensical script.

Daniel and Corky interrupt broken family storytime long enough to discuss tusk piercings, back antlers and mustache magicians.

WARCRAFT FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: June 10, 2016

Domestic box office: $47 million domestic; $386 million overseas (production budget: $160 million)

Critic scores: 27 on Rotten Tomatoes; 32 on Metacritic

This week’s craft beer: Surly Brewing‘s Furious (6.6% ABV)

This week’s Darer: Ben Rice, host of the Barley & Me podcast

Why did Ben Rice dare Daniel and Corky to watch Warcraft?  “Of course Duncan Jones rocked Moon, a practical effects masterwork starring Sam Rockwell.  But then someone decided to hire Jones to direct a CGI-filled blockbuster based on a video game?  There’s never been a good video game movie.  There’s no way to make WoW, one of the most expansive universes of all time, a remotely watchable film. AND you hire a director who clearly excels with practical effects and struggles with CGI?  Surely this is a steaming pile of sweet Rockwell man-ass.  Or is it?  Spoiler alert: I fell asleep in the theater for half of this film’s runtime.  It’s backbreakingly boring.  Enjoy!”

IMDB synopsis: “As an Orc horde invades the planet Azeroth using a magic portal, a few human heroes and dissenting Orcs must attempt to stop the true evil behind this war.”

This week’s referenced movies: Moon; Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins; Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; Marvel Cinematic Universe; DC Extended Universe; Lord of the Rings film franchise; The Fifth Element; Gotti; John Carter; the Harry Potter film franchise; The Island of Dr. Moreau; Assassins; Return of the Jedi; Leaving Las Vegas; Ultraviolet; Arthur; Midnight Express; Forrest Gump; Team America: World Police; King Arthur: The Legend of the Sword

Ratings for Warcraft: Daniel – Dare; Corky – Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original theatrical trailer for Warcraft

Durotan v. Gul’Dan

Lothar v. Blackhand

“Oh, Billy” scene from Midnight Express

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