10 Undeniable Signs Your Mother is a Narcissist

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Moms are supposed to be supportive and nurturing, but what happens when the very woman who should be your number-one fan is your greatest adversary?

 If you're like most people, you slip into a confusing, guilt-ridden mess. That's why in today's episode, you’re going to learn 10 signs that your mother is a narcissist. These are the signs that every single one of my students has experienced but just couldn't make sense of.

  Please note that Christianity isn’t about just slapping a love label on someone and ignoring the damage they cause. Nor is our time together meant to be a mom-bashing episode. Rather, you want to allow God to bring to light what the enemy is trying to keep in darkness so that you can have an accurate assessment of your situation AND honor God in your interactions. 

 So let’s dive into 10 signs (and I'm really curious to hear what you think about number 10!).

  Sign #1: She sees you as an extension of her

Imagine how someone would feel if they weren't allowed to have their own identity, and weren't able to make their own choices without upsetting someone. Such treatment leads to a codependent, performance-driven mess.

  Yet narcissistic mothers often live through their children. Maybe mom always wanted to be the popular one, so she pushed you to always look ‘pretty.’ Or, she didn't finish college, so now you had to go to a prestigious school so SHE could have bragging rights.

 Most of us moms like to be proud of our children’s choices, but narcissistic moms take this to a toxic level. If you're a reflection of her, the result is that you must make choices based upon HER preferences. 

 Sign #2: She’s critical  

Not all critical people are narcissists but all narcissists are critical. She likely has something to say about everyone and everything, and in doing so, positions herself as superior.

 This criticism can be overt—outwardly judging someone (or you) for their choices—or it can be passive aggressive—making comments about someone else in an attempt to get the message to you.

  Ironically, if you have a criticism or complaint about your mother, you will likely be met with a toxic overreaction, as you are now creating a crack in her fragile facade.

 Sign #3: She has toxic reactions

Look, we all can over react or react poorly from time to time. But for narcissistic mothers, radioactivity is their MO. You can likely predict that she will have a defensive, stonewalling, victim-like reaction if you attempt to bring anything to her attention.

Narcissistic mothers cannot and will not look at themselves. So if you challenge her delusion, her response will be nuclear.

 NOTHING is ever her fault and if you try to argue otherwise you will get met with a victim and martyr act.  

 Sign