How to Respond to Gaslighting Biblically

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Don’t know what to say when that toxic person gaslights you yet again?

Do you stress that all that hard work and rehearsing will only leave you feeling speechless when the time comes? Or worse—reacting in a way that’s nearly as toxic? 

That’s why I want to give you the steps to knowing exactly what to say when someone blatantly lies to your face. They can help you keep your peace and walk away from that interaction feeling rather pleased with yourself.

 One caveat: This is not a one-size-fits-all script. However, the steps you’re about to learn can be applied to whatever the gaslighter throws at you. Also, this isn’t just a ‘say this, not that’ type of article. We’re going to dive deep. Because I’m concerned more about your mental, emotional, and spiritual health, than I am about just giving you a predetermined script. 

 Gaslighting is a common form of manipulation that occurs when one person tries to control and deceive another. This form of ‘witchcraft’ can take place in any relationship—parent, partner, pastor, coworker, or friend. It can even be your hairstylist who tells you you’re seeing things, or your doctor who dismisses your symptoms. 

 Whoever is doing it, gaslighting can be incredibly distressing as its intent is to cause you to question your own reality.

 Many people who realize they are being gaslit often jump to unsustainable solutions like crumbling under victimhood or calling the other person out. And that’s not always wrong. (Well, the victimhood is.) But calling someone out is maybe not the best strategy. And the reason why is simple.

 Knowing what to say to each and every scenario a gaslighter throws at you can be daunting.

It can feel almost impossible to know how to respond in those moments and not spend the next three days beating yourself up over what you shoulda, coulda, and woulda said. 

 Knowing what to say and how to say is like expecting to start climbing a ladder on the fourth step, without taking steps 1, 2 and 3. Unless you’re a cat or a ninja, you’re likely to struggle to jump all the way up there. And that could be a big reason why you get flustered when the narcissist hurls another invalidating insult your way. It’s difficult to ask yourself to do something you aren’t fully prepared and trained to do.

 The steps that we’re about to take are going to build a confidence ladder that will help you make your way to the top without tripping over your own two feet.

 Step 1: Determine whether it’s truly gaslighting.

The term gaslighting has become so over used and abused.  The truth is, not every denial and difference of opinion is gaslighting. Not everyone that calls you out is gaslighting you.

 But if you’re on high alert for being gaslit, you can see flames where there are none. Sometimes you’re simply dealing with an emotionally immature person who needs to learn how to better finesse their words.

 Granted neither one is easy to deal with, however, it does determine how you respond. 

 Step #2: Identify your triggers

Yes, we’re starting with you, not them. Why? Identifying YOUR triggers helps you get to the core of the issue. I know I know…the gaslighter is the problem, but in case you haven’t noticed, they’re not changing. 

 What can change is YOU! And the truth is, there’s truth behind their lies and that’s why it’s hitting you so hard. 

 If Timmy the bag boy at the grocery