How to Stop Ruminating Over a Toxic Relationship

Do you find yourself running thoughts over and over again in your mind?  In today's episode, we're talking about how to stop ruminating over a toxic relationship.

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Building Faith Podcast from Kris Reece Ministries is a podcast to provide biblical solutions to life's tough challenges.

TRANSCRIPT

Do you find yourself unable to stop thinking about the toxic person in your life? Maybe it’s your self-centered, husband your narcissistic mother or your obnoxious boss. You find yourself thinking repeatedly about the offenses maybe run the scenarios over and over again of what you should have, could have, and would have said. Maybe you repeat the offenses over and over again. And you struggle with forgiveness or perhaps you are the type who blames yourself and then wonders, what you could have done differently.

Whoever it is and whatever the thoughts, it is likely that this person is taking up way too much, mental real estate. And if you’re like many, your joy is gone, and you have trouble attending to the needs of life simply because you can’t stop thinking about this person and what they’ve done or are doing. Most people, I encounter will provide a blanket solution for this problem. They’ll say, I know, I know I just have to stop thinking so much about them, and to that, I challenged and say the problem is not that you’re thinking, the problem is what you’re thinking about.

If you’ve ever struggled to lose weight and just told yourself, I need to stop eating so much you’ve likely, found that suggestion not very helpful. So let’s dive deeper into understanding what you’re thinking about and bring some biblical resolve to that mental battle. Rumination is running thoughts over and over again in your mind, but wait, that sounds a lot like meditation and you’d be correct, but there is a distinct difference, in meditation in the Godly sense not the new age is the focus on God’s word.

Psalm 119:15 says, “I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.” Psalm 19:14 should be the cry of our hearts, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, Oh, Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

Rumination on the other hand is the fixation of your heart and mind on the negative aspects of the people, the situation, and maybe even God. It can take on an obsessive nature where you can’t seem to stop. It is the devil’s counterfeit to meditation. And for many, they believe that, if they can just think on it enough, they will find peace. And this is a trick from the enemy to pull you further into his mental pit.

And I’m guessing a big part of you doesn’t want to ruminate on this person. You want to get back to the plans and the purpose that God has for your life, but there’s a problem and our minds, don’t like unsolved problems.

So let’s talk today about what’s happening in your mind and how you can overcome this mental battle biblically.

Four primary problems we’re going to talk about that are taking place right now.

Problem #1 – Confusion.  Toxic relationships always create confusion. One minute the relationship is good and the next minute, it’s not. And as a person with a desire to be in a healthy relationship you are likely willing to deal with the ups and downs and go through the tough times with people. But this toxic person always seems to change the rules and it causes confusion. There’s never peace and you’re always waiting for the o