If I've Forgiven, Why Do I Still Get Triggered?

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What if I told you that everything you thought about forgiveness was wrong? That in seven short minutes I will help you understand why these people still set you off--even years after you've walked away and forgiven them?

 I'm going to answer the question that's been haunting you once and for all—“Have I truly forgiven?”—and overcome the biggest forgiveness myth holding back Christians today. 

 It all comes down to bookmarks. 

 I want you to think of your life as a book, and each significant trauma or experience as a different chapter. When someone hurts you, it's like placing a bookmark in that particular chapter. You can believe that you’ve forgiven and then move on. However, the bookmarks still remain in the book.

 Even as you continue living your life, those bookmarks make it easy to flip back to the painful chapters. This act of inadvertently returning to these chapters can make you feel as though you haven't truly moved on or forgiven, even though you’ve tried to close the chapter.

 There are three reasons why it’s so easy to flip back to those bookmarks. 

Reason #1: Unresolved trauma

Many bookmarks were created by a traumatic experience—one that you've tried to push aside, but it still needs to be dealt with.

You may be thinking, “Yeah but that was 20 years ago. I should be able to let it go by now.”

But letting something go is not the same as resolving it. 

 We often think avoidance is the best option (and don't get me wrong, in some cases it is). 

But if there's stuff going on inside of you—well, everywhere you go, there you are. That’s why an old memory, an unexpected phone call, or a harsh comment can all elicit an outsized reaction.

Resolving that trauma is like removing the bookmark. 

 If you have unresolved trauma, it's important to find a good Christian counselor who can help as it can take a toll on you and your relationships. We've connected with Faithful Counseling to help you find a counselor that's right for you. Simply click this link https://faithfulcounseling.com/krisreece for more information. 

 My hope is that you will get the healing that you need to work through the pain of the past and in doing so, you get to remove the bookmarks.

 But unresolved trauma is only part of the reason that you're getting triggered long after you've forgiven. 

 Reason #2: Unresolved trust

If you're not creating NEW bookmarks, it almost feels like there's nothing worthy in your story.

So when you get triggered, you will automatically default to the old bookmarks. When your anger kicks in, when someone tries to manipulate you, when you hear about how the other person is slandering you, yet again you may not have anything new to refer to. In other words, you have unresolved trust. 

You know you can't trust your trauma any longer, but what can you trust? If you do not cre