The Dark Side of Therapy - 5 Types of Counselors to Avoid

The Dark Side of Therapy: Avoid These 6 Counselor Types

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Counselors have become like hairstylists—everyone's got one.

Just a few years ago, it was more taboo to need a counselor, whereas today, it’s often the topic of many dinner conversations. And that’s good. Mental and emotional health are crucial for emotional intelligence. But many well meaning people have landed themselves with counselors that could be doing more harm than good. 

Of course there are the obvious unethical, illegal, or immoral behaviors of therapists that need to be avoided, but there are other more subtle signs that you’ve got yourself a bad counselor.

#1: The Boundary Stomper

An intimate relationship can be formed between counselor and counselee, especially when the counselee is vulnerable. This can put an unhealthy counselor in a position to cross boundaries that shouldn't ethically be crossed. But they also cross much more subtle ones by getting just a little too involved with your life or taking advantage of the relationship.

I knew of a counselor one time who reached out to her clients soon-to-be-ex-husband to guilt him into giving her more alimony.

Other examples of poor boundaries are:

· cutting sessions short or running them longer than expected

· charging you more or even less than agreed

· canceling appointments regularly on short notice

· trying to have a relationship with you outside of counseling—for example, starting a business, hiring you to perform a service, or even a friendship.

#2: The Rent-A-Friend

Listening is an important part of the therapeutic process--a certain amount of advice and guidance (especially in the way of directive questioning ) is needed to help you come to new levels of understanding, revelation, and behavioral/belief change.

But the rent a friend is all about ‘talk therapy.’ In other words, you do all the talking--and that’s it.

Yes, sometimes we need a listening ear, but simply rehashing poor thought patterns and frustrations aren’t going to bring lasting change.

#3: The Authoritarian

While professional input is vital to help you shift your perspective and reframe things that you’ve been viewing the wrong way, the authoritarian takes it to a whole other level.

These are the counselors who don’t let you get a word in edgewise. They also have a quiet undercurrent of criticism and judgment that is designed to intimidate you.

This therapist will often make the sessions all about themselves.

#4: The Sweetheart

Compassion is a vital part of the healing process. It may be the only empathy and validation someone receives in their life.

But the sweetheart takes this to a destructive level by not holding you accountable for your part and challenging you in self-improvement.

No one is perfect and we all have a part to play in our relationships and healing. And even if you were victimized, it’s imperative that your counselor not coddle you, but rather challenge you to grow through your circumstances.

#5: The ‘Non-Christian’ Christian Counselor

Christian counseling is in high demand and good ones are hard to find.

True Bible-believing counselors that seek to live according to the word of God are a scarcity. And that’s what you’re looking for in a ‘Christian’ counselor.

Many have weaseled their way into the Christian