What if Jesus were Codependent

Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
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 When you think of love and care, the first person that will likely come to mind is Jesus. After all, he gave his life so that you and I could be reconciled with God and spend eternity in His presence. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.

And if you’re like most Christians, your desire is to BE more like Jesus. And yet, when you look at Jesus’ life and how he interacted with others, there are times that might make you scratch your head and think, “Jesus, that wasn’t very loving.”

 But that’s because what we think is love often isn’t love at all—it’s codependency.

 Codependency is the need to be needed. Someone who is codependent is driven by the need to please others—often at the expense of one’s own values.

 This is not to be mistaken for the bible concept of Interdependency, which is a mutual responsibility to others with whom you share a common set of principles.

 Even though codependency displays itself as caring, giving, and self-sacrificing, at the core, it’s very self-centered, destructive, and dishonest. That’s because codependency’s focus is to serve others in order to get your needs met.

 So today, I wanted to break down a few interactions that Jesus had with some key people in scripture and show how much different that interaction would have looked IF Jesus had struggled with the dysfunction of codependency.

 (Please note, it’s not my intention to be irreverent. Rather, it’s to bring awareness to our lack of insight into true biblical love.  

 Interaction #1: Judas  

We all know about Judas’ notorious betrayal of Jesus. Judas stole money from the ministry treasury and he told the chief priests and elders where Jesus was for a meager 30 pieces of silver.

I think we could say that the life of Judas was marked by selfish, manipulative, deceitful ambition.

 Codependent Jesus would have begged Judas to change by trying to make him feel guilty. He would have told Judas just how much he was hurting him. And in his pleadings, he would have been enabling Judas’ behavior for fear of losing a disciple. 

 But our Jesus knew exactly what Judas was doing, and he allowed him enough rope to hang himself (literally). We may view that as uncaring and unloving—after all, Jesus could have prevented it. But at what point does prevention cross into control?

 Jesus will let us walk down whatever road we choose. May that be a lesson for us when we think it’s our job to change someone’s behavior and choices, all in the name of ‘love.’ Jesus never tried to manage others’ behavior, and neither should we.

 Interaction #2: Mary, Mother of Jesus

Many of us are thankful for all that our mothers have done in our lives. And while there is a natural bond that can occur within families, many people take this connection a bit too far. With the pervasiveness of mottos like ‘blood is thicker than water,’ and ‘family trumps all,’ it’s no wonder many people feel disloyal if they are not at their family’s beck and call.

 In Matthew 12:46-50 Jesus was speaking to the crowd in typical Jesus fashion. “While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

 Our Jesus knew what his purpose on this earth was.

 Codependent Jesus would have dropped everything because his family needed him. He would have pushed his purpose aside, believing that he owed it