Difficult Relationships – Christian Wisdom for Life’s Toughest Ties
And if you're ready to learn how to identify and deal with all the difficult people in your life, be sure to grab copy of Toxic People Survival Guide https://krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
You've done your research. And you now believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're dealing with a narcissist.
You know it.
They know it.
They know you know.
Now what?
Today, I want to dive deep into the pathetically predictable pattern you can expect to see when God exposes a narcissist. This pattern will prove to you once and for all that it's not all in your head AND give you the clarity need to answer the question: do I stay or do I go?
To start, we need to clarify once and for all that it doesn't matter who the potential narcissist may be—parent, pastor, partner, sibling, coworker, or friend—God WILL expose the narcissist.
No matter who your narcissist is, it's likely you spent years being confused by the mixed messages, the lies, the manipulation, and don't even get me started on the gaslighting! Or perhaps you've had so many twisted bible scriptures thrown at you that you've become a pro at dodging them. But God in his faithfulness has brought you out of confusion and into clarity.
it's like the blinders have been removed.
You're no longer fooled by the craziness and you see with crystal clarity that this person only cares about themself. And then you can expect THIS.
Confusion comes a knockin’ all over again.
Because now they know you know. They'll never verbally admit it, but they know the tide has turned, and the jig is up.Unless they have someone else to fall back on, get ready my friend--it's about to get more toxic.
Narcissists are very observant people, especially of anything that concerns them.
Once they sense that you’re hip to their tricks, they get flustered, nasty, defensive, or avoidant. It's these initial reactions that you need to focus on, as you're going to need to refer back to this later in the final phase of their reaction. (Which is what we'll get to shortly.)
After this initial toxic reaction, you can then expect to see a slightly different narcissist.
Phase 1: They will employ any effort necessary to get things back to ‘normal.’
This phase is a little easier to detect as they will go to whatever behavior has worked in the past. If intimidation had a high success rate, they will come in strong with that. If guilt was the go to, you'll get an extra dose.
Whatever has worked in the past, expect an amped up version of that.
But hold firm, my friend—the ride has just begun.
Enter Phase 2: Threats, insults, rage—anything to trigger you, so that YOU react.
They do this so they can now look at your toxic reaction and say, “See, you're the problem. If you were more patient, kind, understanding, and weren't so nasty, critical and controlling.”
In their mind, they feel better because you've just proven (to them of course) that your toxic reaction means you're the problem.
But you're not phased. Nonsense like that would have killed you in the past, but not now.
Get ready for phase 3.
I have to warn you. THIS is where it gets confusing. THIS is where they get you to let your guard down and bring your hope up.
Stick with me.
When the go-to tactics don't work, when the entrapment fails, THEN comes the apology.
At this point, you're likely wondering, Maybe they've changed? What if they finally get it?