Why is God Keeping Me in a Toxic Relationship?

In this episode we explore the key reasons God is keeping you in a toxic relationship.

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Building Faith Podcast from Kris Reece Ministries is a podcast to provide biblical solutions to life's tough challenges.

TRANSCRIPT

Should I stay or should I go? That’s the question we often asked God when we find ourselves in less than healthy relationships, everything in us could be screaming get me out of here, but for some reason, God seems to be keeping you there with no way of escape. And perhaps you’re stuck, taking care of a toxic mother, who belittled you her whole life, or perhaps you are tied by covenant, with a narcissistic husband, or maybe you’ve got no other job options right now, besides that obnoxious boss, that takes advantage of you.

Being in a toxic relationship with no visibility of relief can make you feel trapped and hopeless. I know I’ve been there, years ago I found myself in a relationship with a man that I thought was a Christian, but it turns out he was a total narcissist. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Now, how do I follow Biblical advice? I would have held off on marrying this man and perhaps seen the issues ahead of time, but instead, in my ignorance and arrogance, which by the way, is a really dangerous combination, I bound myself to this man in marriage and it didn’t take long before I realize that it was the biggest mistake of my life.

It was horrible, everything from the gaslighting to the constant blame-shifting. This man was married in title only. He never cared about me or my daughter and everything was all about him. I held no value other than to serve his twisted purpose. I cried out to God in utter desperation. I wanted out, but I did not want to step outside of God’s will and timing. So I stayed 9 long years. I stayed in that loveless marriage. Then one day God revealed to me what this man was really doing with his time and money and it was released. What a sad but glorious day that was. We often look forward to the glorious release, but today I want to talk to you about the gap.

The time between when you realize what you’re dealing with and the time that God actually delivers you. It is often a torturous and depressing time, but I want to bring hope to you right now and let you know that God sees you. He has not forgotten you and he will not leave you without support but much. Like the Israelites’ Journey, there is often a reason that God will leave it in a less than desirable situate situation longer than we’d like to.


Today. I want to talk to you about four reasons why God may be keeping you in that toxic relationship.

Number one is to grow and strengthen you. If I’m truly being honest, I’ve grown more in my challenges than in my blessings. I’m guessing you can say the same and it’s not that God is sadistic in growing us, but he will often use difficult situations and people to mold and shape us into the people. He created us to be Romans 5:3-5 says, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering, produces endurance and endurance, produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

When I was stuck in that toxic marriage, I made a commitment to God, that I would allow him to change, whatever he needed to change in me to make me the woman that he purposed me to be. Look. It’s very tempting to go, “God punish this person. God, get me away from this person. God change this person.” 

But at the end of the day, sometimes it’s more about us. It’s not an easy journey, but it is well worth the pain and effort to hope that you find that encouraging.

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