Will God Let Me Separate From a Toxic Spouse?

Will God Let  Me Separate from a Toxic Spouse?

What do you do when you have no biblical grounds for divorce but you can't take another minute living in your toxic marriage? Perhaps you've considered separation, but are there biblical grounds for separation from a toxic spouse? 

The answer is simple, and it's, yes. But there are many nuances that you need to be aware of before taking this drastic step. For starters, if you are struggling because you are not getting along, not equally yoked, have differences of opinion, or having arguments that you think are unnecessary my friend these are not biblical reasons for separation. And God often uses people to change people and just because there may be grounds for separation also doesn't mean that God is pleased with it. 

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 says “a wife must not leave her husband, but if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him and the husband must not leave his wife.” Separation, my friend is never an ideal situation, but because of sin, it is sometimes necessary. If your spouse is addicted, adulteress, or abusive these would be biblical grounds for separation. 

Abuse.  

Abuse is a word that unfortunately is thrown around far too easily these days. He got snippy with me can be packaged as abuse. If all you're looking for, is an excuse to, get away from this man. But on the other side, physical, emotional, and mental abuse are very real and they should be taken seriously. And for those going through this abuse, it is no picnic. But the problem with abuse outside of physical that is, it's subjective. It's difficult to prove. One could have an intense way of communicating that works well for them. While someone else would say no, he's abusive to me. On the other hand, the term abusive can be used by abusive people to create hurt and harm to another. 

I knew this woman that would keep a book of abuse from her ex-husband and she would share this book with her children and had, you not known this person yourself you would have actually believed that she had been through a tremendous amount of abuse. But here's what's interesting is, it took quite some time, even for her children to recognize it. And she was actually the abusive one, but she would take all of these little interactions that she could blow out of proportion and call abuse. This woman was in no way abused. In fact, she was the abuser. 

This does a great disservice to those who are truly being abused in relationships and the separation should be a step towards restoration. It should not be an excuse to get away with and get on with your life and that's how the world does it. The world does separation as one step further to divorce as Christian separation should be used towards reconciliation and restoration. So if you're not sure, I want you to please, keep in mind that the Lord often uses relationships to refine us, not divide us. So I want to encourage you to start with a healthy self-examination and ask God to show you how you need to grow and perhaps grow in your ability to set boundaries or your ability to deal with the anxieties that come from the awkwardness of the relationship or work through the differences of opinion or let go of a controlling nature. Learn how to have grace in another's weaknesses, that could be one of the things that God could be dealing with you on. Again, this is not permission to allow abusive behavior. 

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Building Faith Podcast from Kris Reece Ministries is a podcast to provide biblical solutions to life's tough challenges.