16. A Case for Seasons: How to Get "Un-Stuck" in Tough Times

WELCOME BACK TO THE DOCS2DADS PODCAST. FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA HERE!!

ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO GROW THE SHOW AND HELP MORE DADS DISCOVER OUR COMMUNITY IS TO LEAVE A FIVE STAR REVIEW FOR OUR PODCAST WHERE YOU CAN ASK A QUESTION THAT I CAN ANSWER ON THE SHOW LIKE THIS ONE:

HI DR. SCOTT,  THE TODDLER YEARS CAN BE VERY NEGATIVE AND PARENTS CAN FIND THEMSELVES SAYING ‘NO’ LIKE 100 TIMES A DAY AND THAT IS WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW. HOW CAN I GET TO A PLACE WHERE I DON’T HAVE TO SAY NO SO OFTEN? IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY INTERACTION I HAVE WITH MY CHILD IS NEGATIVE. 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THIS QUESTION. THIS IS A VERY COMMON CHALLENGE FOR PARENTS AND I WOULD SAY THAT THERE ARE THREE MAIN CATEGORIES OF ‘NO’S AND GETTING FAMILIAR WITH HOW OFTEN YOU USE EACH KIND CAN BE USEFUL. I CATEGORIZE THEM AS SAFETY NO’S PRACTICAL NO’S AND ANNOYED NO’S.

WORK TO CREATE OPPORTUNITIES FOR POSITIVE INTERACTIONS. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER BUILDING SOMETHING, WHERE THEY CAN’T DO IT “WRONG” AND THEY CAN BE CREATIVE AND EXPLORE. 

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION THAT YOU WANT ANSWERED ON THE SHOW, PLEASE REACH OUT VIA SOCIAL MEDIA OR SEND US AN EMAIL AT [email protected]. WE’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR QUESTION AND HELP OTHER DADS WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH THE SAME ISSUES.

THERE’S SOMETHING THAT’S BEEN ON MY HEART LATELY THAT I HOPE WILL HELP SOME OF YOU WHO ARE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH SEASON.  

PEOPLE IN THE MIDWEST TALK ABOUT THE SEASONS AS SOMETHING THEY LOVE ABOUT LIVING HERE. I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT AFTER MOVING FROM PHOENIX WHERE WHAT WE LOVED WAS SUNSHINE!! BUT I HAVE DEVELOPED A SENSE OF WHY THEY LOVE SEASONS. NOT THAT EACH ONE IS GREAT, BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN LIFE IS TOUGH AND THIS HELPS YOU APPRECIATE THE GOOD TIMES MORE. 

I KNOW A LOT OF MY FELLOW DADS ARE GOING THROUGH CHALLENGING TIMES RIGHT NOW AND I JUST WANT TO OFFER SOME ENCOURAGEMENT.

MANY TIMES, DADS IN PARTICULAR FEEL THE NEED TO “TOUGH IT OUT” OR “GO IT ALONE”  DURING CHALLENGING SEASONS. BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE NEED HELP.  WE SHOULD SEEK ADVICE FROM PEOPLE WHO WE TRUST.

SOMETIMES THESE SEASONS CORRELATE WITH CHALLENGES WITH FEEDING OR SLEEPING AND THEY CAN FEEL LIKE FOREVER: EVERY MEAL, EVERY NAP CAN TURN INTO AN EXPLOSION.  APPROACH THESE CHALLENGES USING TEAMWORK. 

FINALLY, TRY SHAKING UP THE ROUTINE. DO DAILY CHECK-INS WITH YOURSELF TO DETERMINE WHAT YOU NEED TO CARE FOR YOURSELF SO YOU CAN SHOW UP FOR YOUR FAMILY.  DO YOU NEED MORE SLEEP? EXERCISE? PRAYER AND MEDITATION? ALL OF THE ABOVE? ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES COMES FROM ST. FRANCIS DE SALES "EVERYONE NEEDS HALF AN HOUR OF PRAYER EACH DAY UNLESS THEY ARE BUSY - THEN THEY NEED AN HOUR." IT IS WHEN WE LEAST HAVE TIME FOR SELF-CARE THAT WE MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE TIME FOR IT. 

 WORK WITH YOUR PARTNER TO PROTECT TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER. MAYBE YOU NEED A DATE NIGHT TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR PARTNER. MAKE A DAILY HABIT OF GRATITUDE AROUND YOUR PARTNER AND KIDS. SOME OF MY FAVORITE CONVERSATIONS WITH MY WIFE ARE SHARING FUNNY STORIES ABOUT THINGS OUR KIDS DID THAT MADE US SMILE. IT CAN REALLY PULL ME OUT OF A RUT.  

1. TOUGH SEASONS WILL PASS WITH PATIENCE AND INTENTIONAL ACTION
2. SEEK SUPPORT

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