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Dr Justin Coulson’s Happy Families

#1163 - Beyond Chore Charts: The Simple Secret to Kid Cooperation

13 min • 28 januari 2025

Forget sticker charts and pocket money—the key to getting kids to help around the house isn't about rewards or punishments. Discover why making contribution fun transforms resistance into enthusiasm, and learn the simple system that's getting kids excited about helping at home.

Key Points:

  • Traditional chore charts often create resistance

  • Linking chores to pocket money typically backfires

  • Making contribution fun transforms participation

  • Togetherness is the key to successful engagement

  • Timing and clear endpoints matter 

Quote of the Episode: "Our kids don't want to feel like our slaves... but they do need to contribute and participate in making the house function and work."

Key Insights:

  • People tend to overestimate their own contributions while underestimating others'

  • Forced contribution creates resistance

  • Music dramatically changes the experience of helping

  • Clear time limits increase participation

  • Autonomy in choosing how to contribute matters

Resources Mentioned:

  • 10-minute tidy system

  • Word Association music game

  • Mission Impossible challenge concept

Action Steps for Parents:

  1. Implement the 10-Minute Tidy:

  • Choose three standard-length songs

  • Get everyone involved simultaneously

  • Honor the time limit strictly

  • Make it a daily ritual

  • Use Music and Games:

    • Create cleaning playlists

    • Play word association games

    • Keep it upbeat and fun

    • Focus on togetherness

  • Transform Language and Approach:

    • Replace "chores" with "contribution"

    • Ask how they'd like to help

    • Give choices and autonomy

    • Prioritise doing things together

     

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