Dr Justin Coulson’s Happy Families
In this episode of the Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie tackle a tricky parenting dilemma: how to support your adult child without damaging the relationship. Responding to a listener's concern about her 20-year-old daughter's social media presence, they explore the importance of autonomy, the dangers of forceful guidance, and how parents can remain a supportive influence while respecting boundaries.
KEY POINTS:
Adult children crave autonomy; unsolicited advice often creates resistance.
Connection, not correction, is the key to long-term influence.
Dropping the parental agenda fosters openness and trust.
Seek consent before offering advice to show respect and preserve the relationship.
Employers do check social media – nearly 70% of them, according to the Harvard Business Review.
When you share concerns respectfully, you plant seeds that may grow later.
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Our kids, especially our young adults, want autonomy more than anything – it’s like oxygen to them.”
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Harvard Business Review statistic: ~70% of employers check candidates’ social media.
Happy Families Podcast – Submit tricky questions via happyfamilies.com.au/podcast
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
Let go of the agenda – Accept that your adult child will make their own choices.
Prioritise connection – Build trust through presence, interest, and nonjudgmental conversation.
Ask for permission – Before giving advice, say: “Would you be open to hearing a thought I have?”
Share perspective, not prescriptions – Offer insights gently and leave space for reflection.
Respect autonomy – Even when it’s hard, show you trust their ability to learn from experience.
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