39 avsnitt • Längd: 45 min • Veckovis: Tisdag
To be human is to fail – period. And not just to fail once, but to fail a lot. As the author Samuel Beckett said: “Fail again. Fail better.” This saying means a lot to me and my family – so much so that my daughter got a tattoo of it. Why are we, and so many others, so deeply concerned by failure? And if it’s something we all do so often, why are we so afraid of it – especially those of us here in win-at-all-costs America? In this podcast, I sit down with successful, thoughtful people like Ben Stiller, Bette Midler, Sean Penn and more to talk about failure – or what they labeled “failure,” but what was really an unparalleled opportunity for growth and revelation. I even want to delve into my own hardest moments, when I wrestled with setbacks, shame, and fear. We’ll still fail again. And again. But maybe if we fail better, we’ll feel better — and maybe if we can all laugh together in failure, that’s a start.
The podcast Fail Better with David Duchovny is created by Lemonada Media. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
The actor Alec Baldwin has spent a lot of time at life’s intersections. He came of age with challenging circumstances on one side and larger-than-life role models on the other. And when you look at how he works or how he parents (he’s now a father of eight), you’ll see that the duality has stuck around. He and I talk about how it’s possible to feel regret and gratitude in one breath, the specific things he’s learned from writing, and how much more we both hope to gain in the years ahead. It’s a personal conversation, and it feels necessary — though we both hesitate to use the word “therapeutic.” Let’s leave that to the experts.
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As the United States Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy is dedicated to keeping the public healthy and safe. But these days, that involves much more than just cigarette warning labels. Dr. Murthy knows health should be looked at holistically, and he’s used his position to spotlight topics you might not think of as health crises, like gun violence, loneliness, and social media. We discuss his values, the harrowing confirmation process when he first became Surgeon General, and how he defines success and fulfillment, no matter what lies ahead.
Please note: This interview was recorded prior to the Presidential election. In the time since, President-elect Trump has selected Dr. Janette Nesheiwat as his choice to be the next surgeon general of the United States. Dr. Murthy is still the current U.S. Surgeon General.
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Jack Halberstam, the author of The Queer Art of Failure, is someone I’ve wanted to talk to since I first started this podcast. As a professor and scholar, Jack has dedicated his career to dissecting the often-radical undertones of popular cultural media. Together, we look at how animated kids’ movies like Shrek, Finding Nemo, and Chicken Run offer critiques of a system that fails so many of us. We also talk about Jack’s experience as a queer child in England, since where we come from always informs where we go. It’s a wide-ranging conversation that calls into question the very essence of this podcast, as we examine what it means to be a failure in this world — and why Samuel Beckett’s phrase “fail better” isn’t all that inspiring when read in context.
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Hey, Fail Better listeners. It’s Thanksgiving week, and I’m sharing a show that trades in some of the same themes of this holiday: family, hardship, and reunion. The show is called Pack One Bag, featuring Stanley Tucci and the documentarian David Modigliani, and it tells the true story of how David’s Italian family was split apart by war and Fascism. They uncover the romance on the run that made so many things possible — like for David’s grandfather to win the Nobel prize and for the family he left behind to face the Nazi occupation. This limited series from Lemonada is a must-listen, and you can find the rest of the episodes here: https://lemonada.lnk.to/packonebag
EPISODE 1 -- In 1939, Franco Modigliani escaped Fascist Italy for the United States. He'd go on to win a Nobel Prize, but his grandson, David, is most interested in the romance-on-the-run that made it all possible. When David digs into his grandparents' fairytale escape, he uncovers a darker side of the story - and a romance of his own.
For more, tap to follow @packonebag on Instagram, TikTok and X and visit the show's website.
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It was a real magic moment to connect with Aimee Mann, a musician I’ve listened to for decades. She indulges my curiosities about lyric choices and instrumental training, and I learn how much goes on behind the scenes of an Aimee Mann production. We talk about the traumas of her past, which hardships do and do not influence her work, and why there feels like a creative imperative to turn pain into art. Then, to lighten things up (at least a little) we bond over some of our favorite artists of years past, like the sneakily somber Steely Dan.
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Gillian Anderson and I share a connection unlike any other. The Dana Scully to my Fox Mulder, we are the only ones who understand what the other was going through during those X-Files years. But so much was left unsaid — until now. We got a chance to open up about the ways we might have failed one another during that wild ride, and we both examine the ways we’ve grown since. Gillian also caught me up on all her ventures and adventures — her work, her writing in the sexual fantasy compilation Want, and her cheeky new “unconventional wellness” line of soft drinks. It’s good to rediscover an old friend.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. And this week you can hear even more from my conversation with Gillian! But only with Lemonada Premium. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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This week I’m excited to tell you about My So-Called Midlife, a new podcast by Reshma Saujani and Lemonada Media.
“Is this it?” That’s the question that host Reshma Saujani asks herself daily. She’s the founder of two successful nonprofits, she’s married to a great guy, and she’s raising two beautiful children. She’s gotten everything she’s ever wanted — so why does she feel so unsatisfied with midlife? She’s determined to figure it out, and with the strength of her group chat behind her, she’s calling in reinforcements. Through conversations with Chelsea Clinton, Emily Oster, Cheryl Strayed, and more, Reshma’s on a mission to help figure out how to stop trying to just get through this time of life… and actually start living it.
Here’s a recent episode of My So-Called Midlife. Listen as Reshma chats with her friend, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, about how to stay present while balancing kids, a marriage and the highest of high-pressure jobs. Hear the rest of My So-Called Midlife wherever you get your podcasts, or head to https://lemonada.lnk.to/mysocalledmidlifefd
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Jia Tolentino has the internet to thank for some of her biggest successes. In the 2000s, it offered her connections beyond her strict religious community and gave her a place to share her writing with her millennial peers. Her “online” insights carved out a niche at The New Yorker, and her 2019 essay collection, Trick Mirror: Reflections on Self-Delusion, made a big splash with readers who felt similarly mired in digital disillusion. But these days she’s swearing off social media and seeking out the sublime elsewhere. Jia and I discuss the joys and perils of living life online (or even adjacent to it), the unexpected impacts of digital surveillance, and what all of this means for raising children.
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I go on the record with my opinions on the election. Not surprisingly, given this podcast, I find some major connections to failure.
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Nate Silver is a risk taker. On top of boldly and publicly forecasting elections as part of his website FiveThirtyEight, he’s a regular poker player, and in just one season of basketball, he bet nearly 2 million dollars on games. He still doesn’t have the foolproof winning formula figured out – even though that’s the ultimate forecaster’s promise – but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t bet on him, or along with him. I have no interest in Vegas, but I can still apply Nate’s life lessons about how to work hard, ask the right questions, and embrace failure as information.
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I’ve known Jason Beghe for 50 years and counting, ever since we met one fateful day in a high school biology class. I watched as this rambunctious and rebellious kid grew up and carved his own path, never following trends. But when Jason became heavily involved in the Church of Scientology, we drifted apart — and I felt like I’d failed him as a friend. For the first time, we unpack what went on between us during that period of our lives, and why our friendship endured. These days we’re close as ever, and I couldn’t be more proud of Jason’s unparalleled success as Sgt. Hank Voight on the long-running NBC series Chicago P.D. From the halls of our high school to the set of Californication, we reflect on a lifelong friendship the same way we always have: with heart and lots of childlike laughter.
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This week, I’m excited to share Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus, a Lemonada series I know you’ll love. In each episode, Julia chats with accomplished women over 70, tapping into their wisdom, life lessons, and perspectives on aging, success, and navigating life’s challenges.
In this episode, Julia sits down with tennis legend and activist Billie Jean King to explore leadership, self-acceptance, and what sparked her love of sports. Plus, Julia’s 90-year-old mom, Judith, weighs in with her thoughts on societal norms and the feminist movement.
Season 3 of Wiser Than Me returns on October 9th. To hear more of the series, head to https://lemonada.lnk.to/wiserthanmefd
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Rosie O'Donnell’s famous friends tell her she’s no good at being a celebrity. And if she’s honest, she’s never really felt like one. Despite her iconic roles and mass appeal, Rosie says she always identified more with the viewers at home rather than the stars she was interviewing on her long-running talk show. We got together in person to discuss all this, plus the devastating loss she suffered as a child, and what we both think about meeting fans at conventions. Rosie might feel iffy about fame, but that doesn’t mean the “it” factor that propelled her there isn’t still a driving force in her creative and personal life. And she’s continued to inspire others, too — just ask Eminem.
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You can get even more Fail Better with Lemonada Premium, where I share the extended thoughts I have after each interview. Here’s a free peek at what you could be getting: My conversation with Lisa Loeb, that came out earlier this week, really unlocked some things for me. Plus, it dovetailed well into some of the thoughts I was having after talking with another musician recently, Kathleen Hanna. Lisa got me thinking about perfectionism and finding joy in our work, while Kathleen Hanna had me pondering how a pop song or a rock song can be a conduit for an idea, especially a politically charged one. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium now in Apple Podcasts.
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Lisa Loeb has the mind of a student — a straight-A, Grammy-winning student. As we talk, she moves between earnest curiosity and a dogged determination to succeed, and it’s clear to me that Lisa’s robust musical career (extending way beyond her hit song “Stay (I Missed You)”) has a lot to do with how hard she fought to open the doors that were closed on her. From less than ideal musical collaborations to the iffy vicissitudes of press, Lisa knows conflict when she sees it. And while she doesn’t necessarily embrace these challenges, she knows she learns a hell of a lot once she reaches the other side.
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When a young Andy Cohen sat in front of his family’s TV watching hours and hours of soap operas, his mother grew increasingly concerned about his future: Was he destined to become an “airhead”? But Andy’s obsession with melodrama paid off. He’s defined modern television as executive producer of the Real Housewives reality show franchise, and he’s spent 15 years as the host of the boundary-pushing talk show Watch What Happens Live. We discuss the little moments that could have changed everything for Andy, how he decides what to share and keep private, and why he has so much respect for actors — and I for reality show editors.
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As a veteran late-night guest, I know a phony host when I see one — and Seth Meyers is as genuine as they come. He’s been a professional funny guy on TV for decades, first joining the cast of Saturday Night Live in 2001, then hosting his own late-night talk show since 2014. Over the years, he’s learned the hard way what works and what doesn’t, stumbling through creative missteps in front of millions of people and, even worse, in front of Lorne Michaels. We discuss standout skits, the legacy of late night, and how having good taste often means knowing when to step aside.
Late Night with Seth Meyers will go live on Wednesday, September 11 at 10 p.m. for “A Closer Look with Seth Meyers: Primetime LIVE Election Special”, an extended edition of the show’s signature A Closer Look segment, examining the previous night’s presidential debate.
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Here’s something a little different this week, before I come back next week with more interviews.
At the end of each episode, you hear a snippet of my thoughts on the interview, usually a day or so later after I’ve had time to sit with it. I share the full version of those freeform, reflective monologues with our Premium subscribers, and today I wanted to share some of my favorites to give you a glimpse.
If you want to get all of these insights released alongside the main episodes, you can subscribe at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. As added incentive, you'll also be able to get bonus content from all other Lemonada shows.
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I recently sat down with organizational psychologist Adam Grant for an episode of his podcast, ReThinking. Even though he was the one interviewing me, he shared some of his own valuable insights from the world of academic research. In our conversation, we discuss the importance of accepting your failures, how falling short of your goals can be a good thing, and whether nice people really finish last.
As an organizational psychologist, Adam Grant believes that great minds don't think alike; they challenge each other to think differently. In ReThinking, he has lively discussions and debates with interesting thinkers to uncover bold insights and share surprising science that can make us all a little bit smarter. If you like this interview, you can find ReThinking with Adam Grant wherever you get your podcasts.
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Being “indie famous” is complicated, and Kathleen Hanna isn’t here to water it down. Her career making feminist punk music — most notably in the band Bikini Kill — meant she was attacked for her activism by some and objectified as a symbol by others. But Kathleen and her bandmates continued to fight for respect and wrangle messy topics into punchy songs. Her new memoir, Rebel Girl, is a real treat, and it shows just how much change in the music industry and beyond can be traced back to those efforts. Does that mean Kathleen loves seeing her trailblazing messaging plastered onto throw pillows at Target? As you might expect, that, too, is complicated.
Lemonada has teamed up with Apple Books to bring you the Lemonada Book Club. “Rebel Girl: My Life as a Feminist Punk” by Kathleen Hanna is our July/August 2024 audiobook of the month! For more details, visit http://apple.co/lemonadabookclub.
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When I first met Kumail Nanjiani, we were on set on the X-Files, chasing down the shape-shifting Were-Monster. Since then, I’ve seen Kumail undergo his own transformation — into a leading man and big-screen superhero, playing memorable characters with depth, heart and humor. Only, he doesn’t always see it that way. We chat about his love of the X-Files and how he’s recently found new ways of approaching his life, relationship and career with more presence and joy, rather than stressing about the outcome.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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Mary Trump, niece of former president Donald Trump, has long lived in the shadow of her family’s name. And as she writes in her new memoir, Who Could Ever Love You, the darkness of that shadow affected generations of Trump children long before it took hold of the world. We talk about her grandfather, Fred Trump, the business-minded, manipulative patriarch who molded his son Donald in his own sociopathic image. It’s a vivid family portrait, explaining so much about the systems and ideologies that created a man so reluctant to fail.
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This week I’m sharing a neat episode of Freakonomics Radio, hosted by past guest Stephen Dubner. His acclaimed podcast recently put out a series that really resonated with me — a series about failure, which is part of why I was so excited to talk with Stephen in the first place. You get to hear the first episode of that series, How to Succeed at Failing, right now. I think you'll enjoy it.
We tend to think of tragedies as a single terrible moment, rather than the result of multiple bad decisions. Can this pattern be reversed? We try — with stories about wildfires, school shootings, and love.
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The nephew of Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne, and son of Dominick Dunne, becoming anything other than a writer feels almost sacrilegious. Yet Griffin Dunne only recently became an author, publishing his family memoir “The Friday Afternoon Club” after spending decades in other fruitful and wide ranging creative pursuits. The actor and producer, known for movies like An American Werewolf in London and the Scorsese-directed After Hours, feels some sort of regret about his professional moves. But as you’ll hear, he had no shortage of personal trouble and loss influencing his decisions. We chat about him and his famed family — full of actors, activists, and journalists — and all the struggles they collectively moved through.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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“Who can explain the athletic heart?” These are the words Sally Jenkins’ father would ask, driving her to follow in his footsteps and become a groundbreaking sportswriter. From eating a cheeseburger alongside golf legends as a child, to writing memoirs of the world’s top athletes and coaches, Sally has had a unique look into the lives and minds (and hearts) of some of society’s most exceptional individuals. She shares the lessons she’s learned from athletes ranging from Lance Armstrong to Billie Jean King, how they can apply to all of us, and why losing might be the best thing that can happen to you.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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Jeremiah Fraites, co-founder of The Lumineers, says he’s not a lyricist. Yet he matches me quote for quote as we discuss creativity, grief, and giving up control. The conversation takes us a lot of places – like to the free-throw line, and to church. As a fellow father and musician, it’s a treat to see so many sides of Jeremiah, as is getting to reference Spielberg and Metallica in one sitting.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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Fred Armisen grew up idolizing trailblazing musicians, from The Beatles to The Clash and The Talking Heads. But spending his twenties drumming in bands never seemed to land him further than moderate crowds and endless nights loading his gear into the van. In need of a change, he turned to comedy, honing the craft of creating characters we know and love him for, on shows like SNL and Portlandia. I connected with Fred while we were both on set in different locales to discuss his unusual pivot, why he still feels an intense yearning for the music he loves, and the strange intimacy of filming a fight scene.
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This week I wanted to share this interview I did with my friend Samantha Bee on her show Choice Words. Read more about our discussion below, and happy listening. We’ll be back next week.
When actor David Duchovny was teaching his daughter to ride a bike, he made the questionable choice of taking her to the top of a grassy hill at Pepperdine University in Malibu and pointing her straight downhill toward Highway 1. Luckily she learned (quickly) how to brake, but he realized not all of his ideas are good ones. In fact, some are failures. Sam asks David how to view failure through a positive lens, why it’s so hard for Americans to admit defeat, and why Yale is still waiting for him to teach a Kierkegaard graduate class.
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I may not know a lot about skateboarding, but I can recognize the type of relentless drive that fuels Tony Hawk. He’s left his mark on a sport that thrives on risk, which means he’s soared high and fallen hard. On the 25th anniversary of Tony landing the first “900” — a trick where he somehow spins 900 degrees in mid-air — we discuss the years of trial and error (and the broken rib) that led to that fateful moment. I also inquire about what’s kept Tony on the board all these years, and what lessons he’s applied to life off of it.
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There are few actors left who embody the ethos of old Hollywood. Sean Penn is one of them. We got together at his place for a face-to-face exploration of Sean’s life and career. We discussed how his childhood in Malibu helped him create the iconic Jeff Spicoli, and how his first acting coach still shapes him today. We speak of his friends — Brando, DeNiro, and Scorsese — legends whose reputations, work ethic, and willingness to keep learning shaped their characters and their lives. Spending an hour in his presence is a masterclass in the pursuit of being a better creator, and a better human.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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When I first heard about Patric Gagne, a diagnosed sociopath with a buzzy new memoir, I was intrigued. If she lives without the social emotions that often hold us back — embarrassment, jealousy, and shame — does she actually have a superpower? What can she teach us about failure, and does she fear it like the rest of us do? After tearing through her book, I sat down to discuss these big questions, bust the tired tropes, and learn about the Zen of sociopathy.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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Stephen Dubner, host of Freakonomics Radio, has done more than change the way we think about economics — I consider him a spiritual guide of our time. But for all his success, he’s got a laundry list of careers he’s left behind, from rising-star musician to New York Times writer. We debate the merits of expecting the worst versus hoping for the best and discuss how to trade nuance for novelty as we get older. It’s never too late to keep learning — or, according to him, to start a podcast.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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On stage and off, Sarah Silverman is always evolving, whether that’s honing her standup routines or coming to grips with missteps in her past material. We reminisce about our mutual friend Garry Shandling, including the comedy star-studded basketball games he used to host, where I first met Sarah. I also have the pleasure of talking to Sarah about the satisfaction of apologies and the struggle of forgiveness, and I realize, once again, that I extend much more grace to others than I do to myself. Lucky for me, Sarah won’t stand for that.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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Like all of us, athletes fail often. Renowned tennis coach Brad Gilbert knows that well, and has spent decades analyzing weaknesses as a way to develop strengths. As a player, he rose to the rank of #4 in the world, then began coaching stars like Andy Roddick, Andy Murray, and, most recently, Coco Gauff. He even trained Zendaya for the movie Challengers. I loved hearing how the man Andre Agassi called “the greatest coach of all time” gets even more out of the best players in the game.
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Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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This is my most personal episode so far, but it's really about the wisdom of Dr. Gabor Maté. The author, physician, and public speaker reminds us all how we sometimes become too comfortable with self-criticism and regret. We talk about parenting, collaboration, and addiction, and I leave the interview feeling a level of gratitude that I don’t know what to do with. Here’s that conversation.
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A long time ago when I worked as a bartender at Radio City Music Hall, I caught the second half of a Bette Midler show, and it blew me away. More than forty years later I ran into her at a restaurant in Santa Monica and said hi. I'm thrilled that she agreed to sit down and talk to me about a couple things that have gone wrong in her storied career. Tune in to hear about workplace horrors, how being self-deprecating doesn’t make me special, and what it really means to know thyself. All hail The Divine Miss M.
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You can get even more Fail Better with Lemonada Premium, where I share the extended thoughts I have after each interview. Here’s a free peek at what you could be getting: After my conversation with Bette Midler, there are many things I’m still wondering about because I couldn’t find a way to bring them up, including what I wished I’d asked her about parenting. Subscribe to Lemonada Premium now in Apple Podcasts.
Follow David on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
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Believe it or not, Ben Stiller has failed. (Remember Zoolander 2? He’d probably rather you didn’t.) As it turns out, Ben has had his share of flops — a man after my own heart — and we chat for a good while about those times in his life, including how they sometimes led to something better. In my first-ever interview, he keeps me on track, answers questions I forgot to ask, and overall makes me feel like I’m actually succeeding at being a podcast host.
Follow David on Instagram at @davidduchovny. Stay up to date with us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at @LemonadaMedia.
Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at bit.ly/lemonadapremium. And if you want to continue the conversation with other listeners, join the My Lemonada community at https://lemonadamedia.com/mylemonada/
For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.
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To be human is to fail. And not just to fail once, but to fail a lot. But if it's something we all do so often, why are we so afraid of it? As the author Samuel Beckett once said: “Fail again. Fail better.” This saying means a lot to me and my family – so much so that my daughter even got a tattoo of it. I want to fail better, dammit. So, I’m sitting down with thoughtful people every week to talk about it. Because maybe if we fail better, we’ll feel better. Fail Better - coming May 7, from Lemonada Media.
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En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.