Ep 192: The Other Side of Being the Good Student Makeba Celeste on schoolishness as contrary to authentic self-exploration and healthy intergenerational relationships

Today's liberation talk will be with the amazing Makeba Celeste (@makeba_celeste) as she speaks to how schoolishness, and her life in medicine, limited her capacity for authentic self-exploration and healthy intergenerational relationships.

Makeba is a former medical doctor who turned into an unschooling mother, writer, tap dancer and artist. The former South Londoner and her partner, Soliheen, are raising free people on Ohlone land in what is now called the Bay Area in California.

WHAT WE DISCUSS:

Scholishness vs Confidence: How parents' expectations can sometimes negatively affect children’s confidence. Young people worry too much about trying to be “perfect” and getting their parents’ approval, later on this can show up as trust issues within one’s self, and one’s capacity to do anything other than what others have deemed you “good at” and “good for”.

Belonging is human: The pressure that a child can have by being put on a pedestal. They feel that they can never fail because they will disappoint everyone. And when they inevitably fail at something, it can feel like their reputation among the people that put them on that pedestal is being tested all the time, which can drive a deeply effective wedge between young people and their adults.. Why? Because these human beings are not being nurtured and respected, but instead left to take care of the other people’s expectations so much that they do not learn how to take care of their (emotional) selves.

Makeba talks about her experience on homeschooling her children, and how they decided to unschool with their first child, he was 1 year old. Years later he was diagnosed with autism and unschooling has really proven to be a great approach for supporting his learning process. They also unschool with their daughter, and Makeba describes the unschooling process as not having to struggle to humanize or limit their learning, for them it has been a liberation-centered approach.

Liberation-centered approach: Scholishness was getting in the way of Makeba’s capacity to thrive, and she talks about which tools helped her in her deschooling processes. She navigated a lot of unsolicited opinions about everything from going vegan while she was pregnant, to who she should date or marry before that. Makeba shares that when she decided to marry a man who was Muslim, she (at the time Christian) was told by her father that it wouldn’t work out because they were “opposed”. Still, Makeba followed her gut and started deciding for herself. That felt liberatory! She could make her own decisions and have her own opinions on things she hadn’t even considered before. She began to see that her life was more than just being a doctor, her identity was far beyond her profession, and so she started self-exploration through the Arts,  and empowered herself through different activities including writing, painting, tap dance, and most importantly, authentic joy.

LIBERATION WALK

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