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Fare of the Free Child

Ep 220: Iris Chen on Culture, Childhood, and Consent

31 min • 26 maj 2021

This week’s episode opens the first segment of our three-part flow from a mindful conversation with Iris Chen of Untigering. Iris is an unschooling mom and author of Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent, an authentic and vulnerable narrative about parenting as an Asian-American with cultural awareness, consent, love, and survival all blended in. Iris will also join us next week on a Feel Trip episode and we would love to hear some of your feedback prior to that! The week after that (on Saturday) we’ll bring you a recap of that Feel Trip. Make sure you don't miss any of our Feel Trip invitations by entering our podcast village.

Iris chats with Akilah about the process that led her into writing her book, a process that started two years ago as she was blogging about her family experiences. Akilah and Iris also speak about the expectations and the pressure that we sometimes create around our children by seeing them only as extensions of us and not also as individuals.

"We can be agents of change instead of victims to tradition" - Iris Chen

Iris challenges the idea that we are trapped by our culture and rules, because we can celebrate but also question. Iris asserts that we are more than our stereotypes, and Akilah agrees with that and invites us to embrace the elements that are aligned to who we are while we reject what doesn’t vibe with us as part of our evolution. Iris also talks about the importance of language and the influence that culture has to offer as a tool that enhances connection and more ways to expand understanding.

They also talk about consent and emotional intelligence skills and how important it is to re-parent our inner child to heal and understand the ways we can be influencing our children's behavior, because this can shape the practices that help us unravel our schoolish mindsets as we grow together.

LIBERATION WALK

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