#126 How to Win at Life Without Losing Yourself with Dr Pippa Grange

Today’s episode is all about fear and how it holds us back in all aspects of our life. My guest is psychologist, Dr Pippa Grange, who has been hailed by the media ‘the doctor who helped transform the England football team’. Pippa is also author of the compelling book, Fear Less: How to Win at Life Without Losing Yourself.

Fear is one of our body’s natural early warning systems. It alerts us when we’re under threat and need to take action. A bit like stress or inflammation, it’s something that’s useful to us in certain circumstances. But not when it becomes chronic and disrupts our entire sense of wellbeing. Pippa believes that behind every negative emotion, is the fear that we are not good enough. She sees fear as ‘the constant companion’ in our lives. Whether it manifests as loneliness, jealousy, dissatisfaction, perfectionism, judgement or shame, the root cause is actually the same. We discuss how we can all leave fear behind and gain what Pippa calls ‘mental freedom.’

We delve into how shame evolves in childhood, and how we need to shake out some of the narratives of how we ‘should’ behave. We also talk about how so many of us conform to societal ideals in order to avoid criticism but in so doing, we can strip ourselves of who we really are. In fact, by pretending to be someone else, Pippa believes we are only performing at life, not living it.

We explore the concept of a ‘scarcity mindset’ – the false idea that there’s not enough to go around, whether that be love, success, respect or admiration. We also talk about how schools would be the best place to instil these ideas, and help our children understand that winning and losing are just outcomes and not their worth.

Finally, Pippa explains how by noticing and sitting with our own fears, we can find our real passions and deeper fulfilment. This conversation is full of wisdom and insight and I am sure you are going to really enjoy it!

Show notes available at drchatterjee.com/126

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