#436 How to Make New Habits Stick, Why You Can’t Break Old Habits and The Secret to Great Communication with Charles Duhigg

My philosophy as a doctor has always been connect first, educate second. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. And this goes for all relationships, not just doctor-patient.

Good communication is something we’d all like to master. And today’s guest, Charles Duhigg, author of Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is here to help us do it. A graduate of Harvard Business School and Yale College, Charles has won a prestigious Pulitzer Prize for his investigative reporting and he is also the author of international bestselling book, The Power of Habit, which has sold over 10 million copies to date.

We start off our conversation, talking about habits, and why it is that so many of us struggle to make our new desired behaviours stick. The brain wants rewards and it needs cues. The trouble is we tend to let both of those things go, once we think a behaviour is becoming routine. But Charles shares that that’s exactly when we need to double down and take steps to make our new behaviours feel more enjoyable. We also discuss the science of small wins, momentum and the importance of keystone habits.

We then move on to talking about the importance of good communication. Good communication is inherently rewarding. It’s how humans connect, form families,

villages, and share information. Charles believes all of us are capable of being supercommunicators and having more meaningful conversations. And during this episode, he explains some of the skills involved, such as mirroring others and asking deeper questions – those that probe feelings not facts.

Finally, we talk about how fear of saying the wrong thing can often stop us from being vulnerable and connecting, why supercommunicators ask 10 to 20 times more questions than the average person and how they often shine in group situations, not by being the ‘ideas person’, but by giving the right people a spotlight.

This was a truly wonderful conversation - full of practical insights to help you build better habits and become a better communicator in all aspects of your life.

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Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/436

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