Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Take our New Year’s Challenge! What is something you know thatyou do that hurts your relationship? Do you want to change this? We can so easily find what our partner does that hurts us, that justifies our own protective move of fight of flight. It can be difficult to want to change when it seems like our reactions make so much sense. But discovering what we do gives us the power to change the cycle. And the good news is when we change our move and do something that might seem counterintuitive we often help ourselves as well. Then, we want you to make a concrete, doable resolution to change. Listen to Laurie and George’s own personal commitments for New Years to be different in their own relationship. Are you with us?

Check out this episode's sponsors and help the pod!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The holidays can be stressful for many reasons. Join sex therapist Laurie Watson, and couples therapist, Dr. Adam Mathews as they go through the list of naughty and nice ideas for the holiday.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is our final lesson from our 'School of Love' series and we are talking all about secure love and how to maintain it. At this point, we've identified the negative emotional and sexual cycle, the role you take on in the cycle and how to slow it down. At the heart of the negative cycle is unmet needs and the creation of the positive cycle is centered on these needs being met. Great couples are great at repairing. The positive cycle isn't about perfection rather quick and meaningful repair when we get it wrong. These new experiences continue to confirm secure love. Where the cycle once caused chronic disconnection there is now regular, anticipated connection. Join hosts, George and Laurie for ideas on rituals you can do in your relationship for connection, how to be more intentional and solidify the positive cycle. Keep it secure and hot y'all! 

Check out this episode's sponsors (and help the pod!):

RocketMoney.com/foreplay -- Get rid of those repeating subscriptions that you no longer want!

Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's favorite personal lubricant!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Straightforward 'how-to' guide to using the time at the holidays to 'sex up' your relationship. Listen as author and sex therapist Laurie Watson, and psychotherapist, Adam Mathews as they talk about sexy gifts and how to further your relationship during the hurly burly of the holidays.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Foreplay Replay, we revisit our discussion on kissing.

Kissing often falls off in a long-term relationship. As the eyes are the window to the soul, kissing is the window to the heart. Join the conversation with Laurie and Tony! If you have topics that you'd like to hear about, email us at [email protected].

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, Laurie and George are joined by Casey and Meygan Caston, founders of Marriage 365. Marriage 365 provides a comprehensive approach to help couples improve connection in their daily lives through books, coaching and courses. Motivated by the near destruction and repair of their own marriage, Casey and Meygan made it their mission to share the tools that helped them far and wide. You won't want to miss this engaging conversation between these relationship experts! Listen how they moved from a marriage full of assumptions to creating a framework for connection. Visit www.marriage365.com to learn more about Casey and Meygan and make sure to rate and review this episode wherever you stream our pod. Keep it hot y'all!

Please check out this week's sponsors:

Cookunity.com/foreplay -- Award-winning meals for every diet! As low as $11 per meal! 50% off your first week!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite sex lubricant! Use the code 'foreplay' for 10% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode Laurie and George sit down with fellow Sex and Relationship Expert, Dr. Emily Jamea for a conversation on sex in the flow state and the secrets to great sex found in her book, 'Anatomy of Desire: Five Secrets to Create Connection and Cultivate Passion.' Dr. Jamea is also the host of the podcast 'Love and Libido' and is eager to share her knowledge with our Foreplay audience. You will be fascinated to hear all that is happening to the brain and body during sex and how couples can use this information to get unstuck from the monotony and into a state of flow. Our hosts and Dr. Jamea discuss the five secrets every couple needs to know to improve their sex lives. Sensuality, curiosity, adaptability, vulnerability and attunement are the pillars that create and cultivate intimacy, passion and a truly transformative sexual relationship. Want more from Dr. Jamea? You can purchase her book on her website www.emilyjamea.com Keep it hot y'all!

PLEASE support this episode's sponsors:

Leesa.com -- GREAT foam matresses -- free delivery plus 2 free pillows! 25% off your first order!

Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- Get 20% off your first order -- fantastic massage oils to enhance your feeling!

Rocketmoney.com/foreplay -- easily cancel those unused subscriptions! Save some money for date night!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Foreplayers to another great episode in

the 'School of Love.' We are staying with the emotional pursuer in this

episode and asking them to reach deep. All to get the Hollywood ending

you've dreamed about as the pursuer...getting your emotional needs met.

The pursuer has discovered the unmet need below the protective move

which is often anger or criticism and now it's their turn to share it

with their re-engaged withdrawer. Our hosts provide a great role play

where they not only identify the need but ask their partner for help

here. This may sound like, "I feel unimportant here and I want to feel

really important to you. Can you help me here?" These are the

conversations that create secure relationships. If the negative cycle is

the clashing of unmet needs then the positive cycle is unmet needs met.

As you work towards this you will find that this space is much more

organic, fulfilling and natural than the previous negative cycle. As

Laurie says, "the molecules just all come together!" Therapists, if

you're wanting to help your clients gain more security in their sexual

relationship make sure you join us in Nashville in January for our next

training.

Check out this episode's sponsors (and help the pod!):

BetterHelp.com/Foreplay for 10% off your first month!

Cookunity.com/foreplay for 50% off your first work of delicious easy to prepare dinners. Or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Foreplay listeners! Today's episode is another in our 'School of Love' series that we are close to completing. We are talking today about how to stay and keep focused on the pursuing partner as they express their vulnerability. Listen in as George and Laurie breakdown the steps a couple needs to have completed before getting to this point and how both partners can stay focused on the pursuer's pain. This is a place where withdrawers are now able to give their pursuing partner love that they never received before. This can be scary territory for both but this is also the place where a new, positive and secure cycle is created. The key here is responsiveness. Focus on ways to respond to your partner's pain that helps them feel seen, heard and understood. These are key attachment needs that are important to us ALL. 

Check out this episode's sponsors:

Leesa.com

Foriawellness.com/foreplay

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"I'm always the one to bring up issues. I want our relationship to be better so I work to address the discomfort between us. Somehow this is a problem and I am now seen as THE problem, a nag, someone that can be tuned out. I've worked so hard here. Help!!!" If this sounds familiar, then this episode on the pursuer's position in the relationship is for you! Join our experts today as they focus on the inside world of the emotional pursuer and help them with the change event that leads to healing in the relationship. George and Laurie work to get underneath the layers of the pursuer's protest to help them and the emotional withdrawer in their life understand the pain, anguish and desperation of the pursuer. This softening event is the gamechanger for pursuers and our recovering emotional withdrawers are pivotal in this change! Learn how to manage rejection and communicate the underlying need with safety and vulnerability. Our hosts' roleplay highlights for listeners exactly what this conversation can sound like. Make sure to come back for our follow up show on the sexual pursuer next time. As always, keep it hot y'all!

Check out this episode's sponsor: Cook Unity!

Go to cookunity.com/foreplay or use the code foreplay at checkout to get 50% off your first week of dinners! Great for those busy days when you don't have the time to prep and cook a meal!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will sex ever happen between us? If this has been a sticking point in your relationship then this episode is for you! Join our hosts today as we talk through what it looks like when the sexual withdrawer is re-engaged. The negative cycle is de-escalated, a new positive cycle has been created and there is enough safety to uncover the wants and needs of the sexual relationship. Give this show a listen to hear what the conversation between a de-escalated and more secure couple sounds like and how to make this happen. Our hosts remind you that pressure serves no purpose in the bedroom and a truly de-escalated couple will keep pressure around sex low and slow. It's important to remember that sometimes we have to go slow, to go fast. Make sure to give us a rate and review and keep it hot, y'all!

Check out this episodes sponsors!

BetterHelp.com/foreplay -- Easy, convenient therapy! Get 10% off your first month!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite lubricant! Use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to receive 10% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, join hosts Laurie and George as they uncover the ultimate move that creates lasting change in couples. The changemaker for a negative cycle is when the withdrawing partner is able to stay in their fear and uncover their unmet need. In the negative cycle the old move to sense the discomfort and move away immediately begins to be replaced with a new ability to tolerate and remain present. Staying in the fear, with your partner close at hand allows you to ask, "What do I need here? Can you help me with it?" This new experience sends a message through the body and brain that this is now safe and we are rewarded with closeness and comfort where there was once isolation. We are not meant to be alone! George reminds withdrawers that you must risk if you want the reward. Our hosts role play, guides listeners in this meaningful conversation and reminds them, this is possible in your relationship! Therapists--Join us in Nashville January 25-27th for our Sex and EFT training to help your couples with their negative sexual cycle.

Check out this episode's sponsor and help support the podcast!

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- great products to enhance your sex life!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, Laurie and George answer a listener's mailbag question. We love getting these write-ins and acknowledge the courage it takes to ask for help! Our listener is a burned out or almost burned out sexual pursuer that is frustrated and saddened by their sexless marriage. Covid, menopause, adult children at home are circumstances this couple is facing and blocks for intimate connection. George and Laurie give expert advice on how to navigate this situation, some of the physiological challenges impacting this couple and how to craft a thoughtful, caring and loving conversation to bridge the gap. Both pursuers and withdrawers will gain insight into the lives of their partners and we remember to blame the cycle to de-escalate the tension and encourage vulnerable conversation. Need help in your relationship? Send us a question on our website www.foreplayrst.com

Check out this episode's sponsors:

RocketMoney.com/foreplay -- Save money by getting rid of those subscriptions that you don't use that continue to auto renew!

Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's favorite lubricant for the past 25 years!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You've probably waited years for your partner to hear you and make the changes you've needed. So why does that change now make you feel pissed off? The answer: mistrust is part of the change process. Learning how to manage this mistrust is imperative for couples when they are changing their negative cycle. In today's episode join our hosts Laurie and George in a fantastic conversation on what happens to us when our partners start to make the changes we've been asking for, for years and why that can cause mistrust. You'll learn what's happening in your brain when there is a red light, yellow light or green light in connection and strategies to promote regulation and connection. Remember, our brains are wired to protect and they want to hold on to the negative information for safety. Leaning into the mistrust and planning for this with your partner as you're changing together will help you navigate this new territory and be more successful. Therapists looking to get more training on the sexual cycle make sure to head over to our website www.foreplayrst.com to learn more about our training in Nashville this January!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Run, don't walk to listen to today's episode! Laurie and George lay out a transformational conversation between partners: when the sexual withdrawer begins to reenage. Re-engagement means, the sexual withdrawer is aware that something is not working, sees the negative cycle and their part in it and begins to open up to their partner about their underlying needs. This is a pivotal conversation and can be a gamechanger for couples that have been trapped in a negative sexual cycle. Both withdrawing and pursuing partners will find value in the expert commentary laid out by our hosts. Did you know that knowing what you need and sending clearer signals to your partner is a sign of secure attachment? For so many of us, being direct with what we want, need, like and desire has been off limits but it is a major component to secure and successful love. Join us today and drop a review of this episode so we know how we're doing!

Check out our great sponsors for this episode:

Uberlube.com - Laurie's favorite sexual lubricant!

RocketMoney.com/foreplay - Get rid of those pesky recurring subscriptions that you don't use and gain control of your spending!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we're sounding the school bell and bringing listeners back into our 'School of Love.' This show focuses on motivating emotional withdrawers to be more open. If you're the pursuing partner you may find yourself screaming with excitement right now, withdrawers...not so much. Which is completely okay! Join our experts George and Laurie today as we make space for the withdrawing partner to: identify your protective move, understand why you do what you do, honor that protection and try something new. We get it, taking the risk to share emotion and let your partner in is tough stuff but we also know first hand the amazing change that can take place in relationships when the withdrawing partner is able to take this step. Make sure you grab your notebooks and pencils, our hosts drop great insight that you won't want to miss. Need a little more support? There is still time to sign up for our virtual couples retreat on October 4th. Head to www.foreplayrst.com for more details. 

Check out this episodes sponsor and Help the Pod!

foriawellness.com/foreplay -- Sensual oils to help you get in the mood!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In adult partnered relationships we ask each other hundreds of questions on a regular basis. Most often, the questions we ask surround logistical needs, who's doing what and what time do we need to be there? So many of us underuse curiosity and open-ended meaningful questions. We get it! Life is busy and in efforts to get it all done, getting solid on the plans is a necessity. But as purveyors of bettering relationships and sex lives across the world, we are challenging our listeners to start asking each other about...SEX! Make sure to head to our website to check out the article from The Knot which inspired our show today, listing '12 Sex Questions for Couples'. Do you know what puts your partner in the mood? Do they like it gentle or rough? Anything new they want to try in bed? We know that if you don't ask you'll never know!

Any other questions you would add to this list? Head over to our Instagram @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and drop them in our comments. We can't wait to hear what you come up with!

Please check out our great sponsor for this episode:

Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's long-time favorite sexual lubricant!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's said that one of the biggest problems in communication is that we listen to respond rather than truly hearing what someone is saying. Sometimes, an even bigger issue is that we can't get a full sentence out before we are interrupted! Join our hosts today as they lead listeners through a conversation on interruptions and how to stop. George reminds us that information you want to interrupt with is probably valuable but the timing is off. Timing is key to creating more success in your communication with your love. When it comes to vulnerability, interruptions can flood the mind and they stop one of the most valuable communication tools...curiosity. Curiosity, as Dr. Laurie remarks, helps drain the poison from the partner that is feeling and working to express emotion. If interruptions cause problems in your communication with your spouse, make sure to listen to this show and take notes! 

Check out this episode's sponsor:

RocketMoney.com -- get rid of those pesky auto-renewing subscriptions! Use the code foreplay to let them know we sent you!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may find you and your partner fighting about the

dishwasher, kids, money or sex. But what are you really fighting about? That's

what experts answer on this episode as they highlight the emotional cycle,

the sexual cycle and the impact of both. Couples are really set up to miss each

other and argue. It's an unfair reality that so many of us know. Some of us

need verbal communication and a strong emotional connection to feel close and

others need physical touch to create safety and connection. And when these

things conflict we experience misattunement. Join our hosts today as they talk

through a role play conversation highlighting this dilemma and the best ways to

repair it. The ability to repair is what makes couples great and able to handle

whatever conflict is thrown their way. Next time you find yourself arguing over

the dishes, maybe it's time to explore the cycles and if they are colliding.

Check out this episode's sponsor: UBERLUBE! -- Laurie's favorite personal lubricant for the past 25 years! Use the code foreplay at checkout!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all know the standard: missionary, doggystyle, woman on top but have you ever heard of these...the Stand and Deliver, the Pearly Gates, the Pretzel? Maybe you're scratching your head right now. We hope you're at least intrigued and ready to join us on this fun, playful episode where we are talking all things sex positions! Inspired by an article in a recent issue of Men's Health by Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of "She Comes First," George and Laurie are introducing listeners to these positions and many more. Our sexpert, Dr. Laurie breaks down how these positions increase pleasure for both partners and can increase the quality of orgasm, lover connection and maybe even some laughter to the bedroom. This is a spicy episode that you'll definitely want to listen to with the lover in your life! 

Check out this episode's sponsor and help support the pod!

cozyearth.com -- the softest, sexiest lounge wear and sheets! Laurie won't buy any others! Use the code Foreplay at checkout and get 30% off your order!!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Male orgasms--seems pretty straightforward right? Think again. Join our experts on today's show to learn all about the male orgasm and how to make it better! George and Laurie take you through some of the mechanics of the male orgasm and introduce listeners to several strategies to increase the time, duration and pleasure of the male 'O'. Did you know that eating more greens and reducing your overall stress will lead to increased sensation during sex? There is so much more going on for men and their bodies than meets the eye. Listen as we explore the erogenous zones to hit, incorporating kegels (yes, kegels) into your routine and how to focus less on performance and more on the overall experience. Open up this conversation about orgasms with your love and how you can help each other get that better, hotter 'O' the next time you hit the sheets. Keep it hot y'all!

Check out this episode's special sponsors:

RocketMoney.com/Foreplay -- get ahold of you finances! If you have online subscriptions that you're not using, Rocket Money can help find and eliminate those useless expenses!

Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant! Help get your sexy on!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The 'School of Love' is still on summer break and we can't help but think of it as the Summer of Love! While we're on break we are trying to keep things light and fun before our September session begins. Join us today as we discuss all things orgasm! Hosts, Dr. Laurie Watson and George Faller invite listeners to a conversation on the art of the 'O' and strategies that will really get things going. This is a no pressure show! Just because we're talking about orgasms doesn't mean you should run from this podcast to the bedroom with these expectations in hand. Rather we encourage you to think about what sets you up for success and helps your body get to this pleasure point. You'll walk away with some tips and tricks from our experts and tools to promote a positive and confident mindset. We encourage you to keep things fun, playful and light here and keep the pressure low. Remember pressure kills pleasure! Make sure to leave us a rating a review and head over to our IG @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and tell us what you think. We love hearing from you all!

Check out this episode's sponsor:

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- Sensual oils to wake up your body to great sex! Get 20% off your first order with the link or with the code 'Foreplay' at checkout!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What memories does summertime bring up for you? For some the season might make you reminisce about long sunny days, swimming in a pool, sweet smells and your first love. It is a season through which sights, sounds, and smells can bring up right back to pivotal and formative moments. This episode is all about summer luvin' and how it 'had me a blast.' Hosts George Faller and Dr. Laurie Watson walk listeners through questions partners can ask each other using their B.E.S.T sex script and why this steamy season often gets us in the mood. Did you know that longer days and more physical activity lead to greater arousal? It's true! Thirty minutes after physical activity, the body is more primed and available for arousal than before. Listeners will walk away from this episode with ideas on how to have summer relaxation all year long, create bonding moments with your spouse to increase your emotional connection and more ways to keep things hot! Head to our website www.foreplayrst.com for a list of questions from today's episode. There you can also find more info on our virtual couples therapy retreat on October 4th.

Please check out our episode sponsors (and help support our mission!):

RocketMoney.com -- track your money and stop those pesky annual renewals that you no longer use!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's all time favorite personal lubricant! Save 10% by using our code 'FOREPLAY'

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Laurie and George answer a mailbag question from a Foreplay listener. She asks the hosts for help with her partner who is turned off by her bodily fluids during sex. A self-described sexual pursuer, she begins to worry about her withdrawing partner and the future of their relationship. George and Laurie work to reassure this listener that this is a common concern in relationships. Not everyone loves this exchange and that is okay! Listen as our hosts, guide a role play that will help this couple communicate about these issues and take the heat off the topic. This expert conversation will help both partners gain insight, get to the root of the issue, be curious and create a safe space to explore these differences. Don't miss these gems from the show: Change your language. Don't just focus on what you're getting or not getting rather share the longing underneath. Anxiety can cause you to obliterate the otherness of your partner. It's okay to have differences and they don't need to be wrong or bad. Both partners can grow and stretch in their sexual worlds. This is a lifelong adventure. Want more hands-on guidance from Laurie and George? Make sure to join us on October 4th for our virtual couples retreat!t

Check out this episode's sponsor:

ForiaWellness.com/Foreplay -- Get 20% off your first order! Use the code foreplay at checkout.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time for a summer break from the 'School of Love.' Throw away your notebooks and let's dish on how to spice things up this summer! Are you tired of your stale routines and want to explore new things? Join us today as we talk about role reversals! We're helping the visual sexual responder take some risks and try seducing. Not sure what that means? Jump in with Laurie and George to find out what role you usually take on in your sexual relationship, how to switch it up and how to repair if the risk goes wrong. Included in this episode are novel ideas on how to initiate sex, increase desire and build empathy for each other. We're all about helping you have better relationships and better sex, take a break from your studies and soak it in. We also honor the life and legacy of Dr. Ruth, a pioneer in the field of sex therapy and a woman that made us all more comfortable with talking about the bedroom. Keep it hot y'all! 

Check out our great sponsors!

CozyEarth.com -- the softest sheets and loungewear I've every experienced! The sheets just beg to be slept in!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How can you know when you've united against the cycle? We've got you covered in this episode on the signs to look for and how to test for de-escalation. George and Laurie work through a role play and give an example conversation of what it sounds like when couples move from the you vs. me space to you and me vs. the cycle. We want to be on the lookout for seeing the cycle as a whole rather than a one off event, knowing your move and why and seeing how your move affects your partner. These three steps are the key to de-escalation and the ability to move into more vulnerability and deeper change in your relationship. You cannot miss this step if you want to achieve true, sustainable healing in your relationship. Not sure how to do this? Make sure you join George and Laurie for their virtual couples retreat on October 4th. If you're a couples therapist unsure how to incorporate the sexual cycle in your work, join us for an in-person training in Nashville in January. Head to our website for registration details. www.foreplayrst.com

Please check out our great sponsor for this episode:

Foriawellness.com - get 20% off your first order! Try their Awaken and Arousal oil to enhance your experience in bed!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've worked in the last few episodes to name, externalize and unite against the emotional and sexual cycles that pit partners against one another. This episode is all couples finding common ground. On this common ground couples have more safety and are able to unlock empathy and deeply care about each other's pain. This is where true change and healing begins to take place. Each time partners encounter the cycle, they get better at naming it and coming back to the common ground space. Conversations become easier, less exhausting and more fulfilling because there is new experience of compassion, care and empathy available. Here we might let the pursuing partner know, "I understand where this protest is coming from. You make sense to me hear and I care about what you go through." We might signal to the withdrawing partner, "I understand how this makes you want to run and slowing down might make you feel safer." What might you want to say to your partner in this shared space? This school of love episode is bound to show partners that change is possible and how to keep working to create common ground together. Keep it hot, y'all!

Check out our great sponsors:

RocketMoney.com -- get rid of those online recurring subscriptions you no longer use!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant!0

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that 20% of couples can be defined as sexless by year 2 of their relationship? Why is this happening in the early stages of a relationship? Join our hosts on this episode as they break down what is actually happening in negative sexual cycles and how couples can unite against it. When partners are able to see their move, what happens when they are triggered and how it hurts their spouse, the cycle becomes so clear. It is a new way of talking about our problems that gets us out of the microview of who said what and into the macroview of the repetitive dance. This new lens allows couples to talk and stay connected in places where they may normally protest or shut down. George reminds us "when we can name it, we can tame it and then we can change it." Make sure to listen to the end when you get your new school of love assignment to better organize and understand your sexual cycle. Keep it hot y'all! 

Check out our great sponsor!

Manscaped.com -- all the grooming needs of men, Manscaped has you covered.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you find that you and your partner keep having the same arguments over and over, even though you're fighting about different things? If this is you, you won't want to miss this episode! Today's show is all about the negative cycle. Our hosts work to help couples organize what is happening and how couples can stop pointing the finger at each other and blame the cycle instead. Through this lens couples can feel more security and confidence in their interactions rather than thinking they have to solve each and every issue that comes up. If we don't start to see the cycle, the problems can feel endless and overwhelming! Make sure you stay on till the end to get George's homework assignment and head on over to our IG @foreply_sextherapypodcast and let us know your thoughts in the comments. Are you looking for more beyond our podcast? We're enrolling now for our couples retreat in October. Therapists interested in incorporating EFT and sex in the cycle? Join us in Nashville in January for our next therapist training. Visit www.foreplayrst.com to sign up today!

Check out our sponsors (and support the podcast!):

Addyi.com -- FDA-approved treatment for certain women with low libido!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Foreplay listeners, join us today in a 'School of Love' lesson all about the withdrawer's world! Withdrawers are often shutting down, walking away or seeming closed off in the cycle. These moves help them get safe and regulated but are a step in the negative cycle because the pursuing partner is left alone. When we can slow down, and be patient we can help to reveal the vulnerable underbelly of the emotional and sexual withdrawer. In two amazing role plays, hosts Laurie and George display exactly how to get slow, and get curious to learn about the ouch underneath the protective move. Vulnerability is the solution to the negative cycle and so much healing lies in these conversations. Withdrawing partners may often feel like they are messing up, a failure or that something is wrong with them. Pursuing partners may try to help by jumping in to reassure but this would be like diving into the shallow end of a pool. Staying in the deep but being there together is where the change happens. Let us know what notes you take from today's show and as always keep it hot y'all!

Please help the podcast by using our great sponsors!

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- products to help you get and stay aroused!

RocketMoney.com -- gain some money back in your budget by having Rocket Money find and cancel your unused subscriptions!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we’re in distress as a couple, it’s hard to see that our partners protective moves - either criticism or withdrawal - are really ways that they are covering their deeper hurt, pain and vulnerability. But in order not to be lost to each other, first, we need to recognize that we are in a cycle where our partner triggers us and we trigger our partner… over and over. Secondly, we have to allow enough space for our partner to express themselves without expressing our pain at the same time. We have to let them go first. Third, we have to get curious about the deeper meaning of their protective moves. Do they go away because they feel like they’ll never measure up? Do they harp on relational issues because ironically, they want us to have a better relationship?

Join George and Laurie today as they work through not just one, but two role plays in both the emotional and s*xual cycle and share with listeners what lies below the surface. To be successful here, listeners are reminded to have an understanding of the moves of their negative cycle and how each partner contributes. This way we can slow down, practice patience and have empathy for one another's vulnerabilities. Learning this process helps lovers meet one another in places where they previously left each other. Interested in working with an EFT couples therapist? Visit www.iceeft.com and head over to our IG @foreplay_sextherapypodcast. Let us know what you want to hear from us next. Keep it hot y'all!

Check out our great sponsors!

RocketMoney.com -- Stop those unused subscriptions from renewing! Rocket Money does the work for you!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's 20+ year favorite lubricant!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're talking between the sheets or rather how to break the silence between the sheets. We always say that if you can talk about sex then you can have great sex. But what happens when you don't know what to talk about? Join our hosts today as they bring up how to start a sexy conversation and what to share with your intimate partner. Conversation might start with ideas about romance, foreplay, turn ons and lead to fantasies and more! The art of having these chats enhances your intimate world and deepens the bond that couples share. If you find yourself stuck in a sex rut, this episode can help you break out of the mundane and explore a more playful, fun side of sex with your honey. Keep it hot y'all!

Check out our fantastic sponsors (and help support Foreplay!):

Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- great massage oils to enhance your erotic times! The code 'foreplay' gets you 20% off your first order!

Addyi.com -- an FDA-approved drug for certain premenopausal women with low libido!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In last week's episode we discussed the purpose of the protected moves. On today's show we are going deeper to the "ouch," the pain, the vulnerability that lies below that protection. George and Laurie invite listeners today to explore the pain that we can all feel when we experience rejection, shame or worthlessness in an interaction with our partner. They acknowledge that this is a HEAVY topic but an important one if we want to understand our moves in the cycle, ourselves and our partners on a deeper level. You may want to avoid these conversations but this is where we need conversation the most. Grab your pencil and take notes during the school of love lesson. Believe it or not, understanding the ouch can lead to a bigger, better O! 

Please consider partnering with us by using our sponsors:

RocketMoney.com/foreplay -- Get rid of those automatically renewing subscriptions that you don't use that are money down the drain!

Uberlube.com -- Lauries favoritest lubricant! Be sure to use the code foreplay at checkout to get your 10% discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever wonder why you get angry in a fight? Have you been unsure why conflict makes you want to run? Join George and Laurie in today's episode to learn the purpose of your protective move, the healthy function it is trying to achieve and the impact it has on you and your partner. These moves, often seen as fight or flight are there to keep us safe and in some way to protect the relationship. However, this is where a negative cycle forms as each partner's protective move triggers a move in their partner and round and round we go. If you have been caught in this cycle you know just how exhausting it can be and probably have thought if we could just talk about it now, or if we could just take some space it would be SO MUCH BETTER! Learn with us today in this episode all about protective moves and how you can slow down and begin developing new moves, ones that can keep you connected with your partner. Get connected and keep it hot y'all!

Check out our great sponsor:

Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- check out their sex-enhancing oils!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join our hosts on this episode as they go over all things cycle! The emotional and sexual cycle is a tool that EFT therapists use to help clients find a way out of their current distress and better organize, express and connect. At the core of both of these cycles is distress that our brains code as a threat. Did you know that your brain reacts in a split second to assess threat, real or perceived? This healthy survival skill only gives us a few moves that you might recognize as fight or flight. In today's show, George and Laurie provide listeners with an overview of these cycles, the moves or roles that partners can act out and the intentions under each move. We're reminded that intention is different from impact and to have better, more secure relationships we need to see how we impact our partners. We hope you gain something from this school of love episode and see if you can apply it to your own relationship. Try asking yourself what happens to me in this cycle, what move do I make? Laurie drops this amazing gem, "Curiosity is the antidote to anxiety." Head on over to our instagrama @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and let us know your thoughts in the comments!

Check out our great sponsors:

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant! Get 10% off by using the code 'Foreplay'.

FactorMeals.com/Foreplay50 -- Great, ready to eat meals. Use the code Foreplay50 to get 50% off your first order and 20% off your next!

Manscaped.com -- Great personal grooming help! Use the code 'Foreplay' for 20% off! And free shipping!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Secure sex too often gets lumped in with BORING sex! Laurie and George are challenging this myth and shouting from the rooftops that secure sex is HOT! Join us today as our hosts review what secure sex looks like and how secure sexual attachment helps couples transcend the ordinary into the extraordinary. If you're reading this feeling despondent about the state of your relationship, have some hope and listen to our experts on how to create more secure sexual attachment. Repairing, owning your stuff, showing appreciation are just some examples of action that you can start taking today to create more security and have better, hotter sex! Don't miss out on this episode and fall asleep at the wheel believing secure=boring. Learn how great great lovers treat each other and what they do every day to ensure that their sex life is hot, hot, hot through the years. 

Check out our sponsors:

Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- Try their sex oils designed to increase your sensual experience! Get 20% off your first order!

Rocketmoney.com/foreplay -- Save money by getting rid of those subscriptions that you don't use that continue to auto renew!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is dedicated to Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of EFT and a beloved mentor, teacher and friend. We remember her legacy and devotion to helping couples love better. George and Laurie have been heavily influenced by Sue's contributions to the field of couple therapy, moving treatment from a predominant focus on behavioral change to creating healthy attachments and secure, loving bonds. Join us today, to connect over this profound loss and to hear the stories and memories we have with Dr. Sue Johnson. You won't want to miss out on what she thought about George's driving skills! Thank you Sue for your incredible work in this field and for the influence, information, education and love you shared. You will be missed greatly!

EFT Therapists! Laurie is coming to Chicago this month! Come join her!

Please visit our great sponsors:

Addyi.com -- an FDA-approved drug for certain per-menapausal women with low libido.

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant for the past 25 years!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Foreplay listeners to another episode in our school of love series. Our residential relationship experts share with us the 4 things that stop progress and connection in relationships. The three A's abuse, addiction, affair and finally a partner not willing to take enough of a risk to re-connect. Join George and Laurie as they succinctly breakdown these roadblocks to connection and share what needs to happen first if any are present in your relationship. Our hosts remind us that safety in EFT is paramount and we can only get closer when there is a shared level of safety between partners. This episode is a must listen if you are facing any of these factors that may make connection impossible. Tune in today with an open mind and heart and another reminder that you are not alone!

Check out our faithful sponsors (supporting them supports us!):

Addyi.com -- A drug for women with low libido! Use the code 'Foreplay' for a $10 telemedicine consultation to see if Addyi is right for you.

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- Foria has great products to enhance your sex life. Use the code 'Foreplay' for 20% off your first order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's talk about sex, baby! Not sure how to have the best sex talk? We put together a comprehensive list of topics to cover. Join us today as we work through the acronym we developed to set couples up to have the best talk about sex! Topics range from bodies to laughter and everything in between that couples need to talk about when it comes to sex and their relationship. Whether you are spending your first anniversary together or your 50th you will benefit from this episode. Having conversations about sex is vital to a long lasting and deeply satisfying relationship. Visit our Instagram account and click the link in bio to download our worksheet that guides you through this exercise. Keep it hot y’all!

Check out our sponsors:

UberLube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's go-to lube for the past 25 years. Use the code foreplay for 10% off!

Addyi.com -- a drug for women with low libido! Use the code foreplay for a $10 telemedicine appointment.

RocketMoney.com/foreplay -- cancel those zombie online subscriptions before you renew!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not sure how to have a great conversation about your sex life? Don't worry, we've got you covered! In this latest edition of our school of love lessons, Laurie and George teach listeners how, when and where to begin this conversation. Starting is often the hardest part and it's so easy to build up all the ways this could go wrong in your mind. However, the ability to have these sometimes awkward conversations is vital to a lifetime of love. Join us today to learn how to bring up this conversation and the check-in questions partners can ask one another to gauge the status of their sex life. In this conversation, you'll move beyond how often we are/aren't knocking boots to understanding needs, depth of connection, intimacy and other factors that make great lovers. A fabulous George and Laurie role play will guide you through and is sure to give any couple a dose of confidence. TLDR; How to gracefully bring up a conversation about your sex life and the four components to cover. Keep it hot y'all!

Check out our great sponsors:

Addyi.com -- a drug to help women's libido

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- lotions to help you get going!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you ever stop and think about why you view sex the way you do? Where did your thoughts and feelings on sex come from? In this episode, George and Laurie discuss how cultural influences affect our view of sex. Culture includes race, religion, sexuality, location you were raised among others. There are so many factors that make up your perspective of sex and relationships. Listen to our hosts share how their cultural experiences have shaped their worlds and the work they have done to expand their views. They share that a key to understanding cultural influences more is flexibility and creative thinking. George and Laurie discuss expanding beyond a dualistic way of thinking that says "either, or' to 'both, and.' George reminds us we don't have to have all the answers, we just need to start the conversation.

Check out our sponsors (and help support the podcast!):

FactorMeals.com/foreplay50 -- great, quick meals and delicious too! Use the code Foreplay50 for 50% off your first order and 20% off your second!

Uberlube.com --Laurie's favorite lubricant!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last episode we invited listeners to have a candid conversation with their partners about emotions and how your family  expressed emotions. This week on our latest lesson in the 'school of love,' we are talking about how to have positive conversations about your sexual history. As therapists, we gather this information and call it a sexual assessment. The funny thing is, it's not all about sex! We are curious to learn about touch you experienced in life, how affection was displayed and how the family talked about sex or bodies. Touch is vital to human survival and it's important to gather that key information. Sometimes we work with individuals that grew up in emotionally disconnected houses but physical affection was fine to express. Other times we find that physical affection was not given and individuals have to shut down that need to be touched or held very early on. We hope that this episode will induce a conversation between partners to learn more about your earlier experiences with touch and sexuality. Grab your notepads, students and write down the following to get you started: What was touch like in your family? How did your family/peer group talk about sexuality and puberty? What were your first sexual experie nces like? How do you like to be touched? As always, keep it hot y'all! 

Check out our sponsors!

RocketMoney.com -- get rid of those subscriptions that you signed up for and don't use! Easy way to save money.

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay50 -- products to enhance your sex life!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our latest installment in our school of love, introduces listeners to the essential questions to ask your partner to understand their attachment relationships. EFT therapists conduct an attachment history during their early sessions to better understand the protections of each partner and why they may use pursuing or withdrawing strategies when experiencing relationship distress. Join us today to hear the questions George and Laurie ask during their couples sessions and give us their answers and personal insights. When we can get more depth and understanding, there is a new ability to create lasting change. Even though the past hurtful event remains the same, the new information creates new opportunities. Make sure to take some notes during today's love lesson and work with your partner to find answers to attachment based questions such as: What did you learn from your family about emotions? Was there safety to express vulnerability or insecurities? Who comforted you in times of need? We hope this exercise helps you and your partner with the emotional assessment most relationships are missing. This week we're asking you to 'Keep it Sweet' because we all need a little more safety.

Check out our sponsors:

Factormeals.com/foreplay50 -- Factor Meals are easy to make and are delicious! Use the coupon code 'foreplay50'

Uberlube.com -- Laurie has recommended Uberlube as a lubricant for years.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join George and Laurie as we answer a 'Mailbag' question from a listener that asks our hosts with their help to fix their sexless marriage. Sexless marriages are defined as having sex less than four times a year. Our listener shares that they love their partner but know that they withdraw both emotionally and sexually. She has worked hard to try ALL the things to increase engagement on both levels and finds that not much has changed. Our hosts are masters of empathy and begin a conversation with empathy and validation for both partners. George and Laurie work to take us inside the 'inner world' of the withdrawing partner to understand better the things that aren't being articulated. However, while our hosts validate the current state of the relationship they won't co-sign NOT having a conversation. Listen along today to hear Laurie and George's great suggestions which include finding an EFT therapist, naming the unnamed and reducing the pressure. Head on over to our website to submit your mailbag question!

Check out our fantastic sponsors:

Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- for great sex-enhancing products!

Cozyearth.com/foreplay -- for the softest sheets and lounge wear you'll ever touch!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attachment theory helps lovers make sense of why we do what we do in relationships. Developed from attachment theory, the theory of human bonding, are 4 attachment styles that characterize behaviors in relationships. We like to also call them strategies and we use these strategies as a means of protection when we sense a real or perceived threat in our most intimate relationships. On today's episode Laurie and George break down the four attachment styles and their presentation in emotional and sexual cycles. What's important to remember is that attachment relationships begin in childhood and span into adulthood, attachment styles are not fixed and can be improved, and once you name or identify something you can begin a conversation towards change. When we do internal work to become more secure in relationships we are able to take more risks, be more vulnerable and better tolerate ruptures. If you find that you identify with an "insecure" attachment style, it's okay! This is a great learning opportunity to learn more about yourself and what your needs are. Thanks for joining us today in our latest 'School of Love' lesson. Keep it hot y'all!

Visit our fabulous sponsors:

Check out Rocketmoney.com and stop spending money on subscriptions you don't use!

Uberlube.com/foreplay -- Laurie's favorite lubricant!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maybe you've decided that you need to work on your relationship but what is it exactly that you want to work on? You don't want to sit in therapy and rehash every argument you had that week. Most often couples want relief from their distress and for their relationship to return to a time of greater joy and happiness. Join George and Laurie today as they share how to determine what you want when you make a decision to improve your relationship. Your homework assignment for this school of love lesson is to write down a list of positive qualities and interactions with your partner and your relationship strengths. These essential qualities are often not commented on and there can be a tendency to be problem focused when you consider your relationship. Negative feedback creates more negative feedback and this is when couples become stuck in a negative interaction cycle. Next, we encourage you to think about what you want to improve and how you can take action to make some changes. Finding clarity in what you want to work on in your relationship is a great first step to creating a fulfilling and meaningful relationship with both partners. Hop on over to our Instagram account @foreplay_sextherapy and share your thoughts! 

Check out our great sponsors and help support the podcast!

ForiaWellness.com/foreplay -- great products to enhance your sex life!

CozyEarth.com -- the softest sheets and loungewear! You'll love them!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Foreplay listeners to a can't miss episode with our friend and colleague Dr. Corey Allan co-host of Sexy Marriage Radio podcast. With over 13 million downloads Corey and his wife Pam, lead couples in deepening and improving conversation about physical intimacy and keeping your marriage sexy. While we are missing George today, we are over the moon to have Corey on as a guest. Are you afraid to let your partner in on your sexual longings? Maybe you know what you want but have no idea how to start the conversation, let alone contine it. Hear Laurie and Corey talk about the best ways to craft these conversations and speak to your partner in the most self-respecting way. How to recover quickly from disconnect to reconnect and kicking perfection out of the bedroom! This episode is filled with amazing gems on marriage that are sure to resonate. Make sure to give them a like and follow on IG @sexymarriageradio and visit their website at  https://smr.fm/  for more information on course, coaching and retreats. George will be back with us next time as we continue working to keep it hot y'all! Like what we're doing? We'd love to have you rate and review our show wherever you stream Foreplay.

Check out our sponsors:

CozyEarth.com -- for the sexiest, softest, sheets and loungewear out there!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant to make sex glide!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The saying goes that laughter is the best medicine. In our work as couples therapists, we've seen the power of shared laughter between partners. Laughter has the ability to derail an oncoming cycle, increase playfulness and deepen the bond between lovers. We've also seen moments where humor falls flat and complaints disguised as jokes cause damage. Today's show has listeners learning about the benefits of laughter between partners and creative ways to increase laughter in your bedroom routine. Recalling Emily Nagowski's work from the best-selling book "Come As You Are," hosts Laurie and George discuss when humor is a gas pedal or a brake when it comes to sexual connection and desire in relationships. We encourage listeners to remember that timing is key, we have to consider impact over intent, and find out what makes us laugh together. When laughter is a shared experience it opens up the hearts of lovers even further!

Check out our sponsors:

RocketMoney.com -- Get rid of those online subscriptions that are like zombies eating your budget!

Foriawellness.com/foreplay -- Foria has great products to enhance your sexual experience. Highly recommended by Laurie!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are welcoming an attachment expert and our dear friend Julie Mennano, LMFT to the pod. You may know Julie already from her incredibly popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship. With over one million followers, Julie has been educating about attachment theory and EFT on Instagram since 2020 and is the owner of Bozeman Therapy and Counseling, LLC in Montana. She is joining us today to share her new book Secure Love and to help our listeners understand what secure love looks like in action. Julie will break down the four attachment styles and how couples can work to maintain the integrity of their bond through conflict and misunderstanding. Her beautiful work helps us understand how to keep a balance between heart and mind. Couples that read Secure Love will learn more about their attachment bond, being connected even in conflict and how to treat loved ones with care. We encourage you to pick up a copy today to create a relationship that lasts a lifetime. Included is a chapter on secure s*x, which we know our listeners will love! Thanks and keep it hot and secure y'all!

Check out our awesome sponsors for this episode:

CozyEarth.com -- the best, softest, most wonderful sheets and loungewear! Use the code 'Foreplay' for a site-wide 35% discount!

Uberlube.com -- Laurie has been recommending Uberlube for years! Great lubricant that makes everything work smoothly!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Foreplay listeners, join us today for a lesson on emotions! In this installment of our 'Love School' series George and Laurie are letting listeners in on the meaning of emotions and how we can lean into our feelings to improve our love life. There are 5 universally recognized emotions and behind each emotion lies a longing or need. In relationships miscommunication occurs because our non-verbal signals display these emotions well before our verbal communication has a chance to catch up. Go behind the science of emotions and communication with us today and learn how to repair when a bid for physical intimacy begins to go wrong. There is a depth of emotion to explore in s*x and this episode will give you actionable steps to having better conversations. Have you liked our lessons on love? Let us know by leaving a rating/review wherever you listen to our podcast and give us a follow on Instagram @foreplay_sextherapypodcast

Sponsors:

Addyi.com

Foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY to get 20% off your first order or use code FOREPLAY at checkout

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time to get nerdy with us today listeners! We're taking another deep dive into the science of love and bonded relationships and exploring more about attachment theory. We've noticed the trend over the years of big labels being stamped on relationships and it can leave the outlook on love a little dim. Our hope in this episode is to provide more education on behaviors that are created to deal with distress in close relationships. We cite some great research from leading experts, like Peggy Kleinplatz and Girut Birnbaum dedicated to the study of relationships, for couples and therapists around the world to help people love one another better. If you've experienced distress and disconnection and may have some disillusionment about love we invite you to learn more about attachment. We know that strong relationships lead to better quality life and health. Understanding attachment and the science of love is key to getting you there. This is the education we never got in school but so desperately need!

Check out our fantastic sponsors:

CozyEarth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Addyi.com/Foreplay -- Ask your gynecologist about this drug that helps women with low libido!

Rocket Money - Rocket Money can track down and cancel all those online subscriptions you've made and forgotten about that come out of your bank automatically. Save money with Rocket Money! Use the link and let them know we sent you!

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is all about attachment theory. Attachment styles have been buzzing in the pop psychology world recently. Our hosts invite listeners to learn more about attachment theory which helps us understand why we fight the way we do and why our partner reacts to conflict in the way they do. Attachment theory is based on the idea that we are here to connect and life is all about relationship and meaningful connection. Join us today as we break down attachment theory, and the attachment styles secure, anxious, avoidant and disorganized. Laurie and George help us put on our attachment lenses to make sense of relationship behaviors that are often misunderstood. You'll take away the useful tips from acronyms A.R.E and O.I.L and how to make your relationship more secure today! Let's us help you love better this year!

Check out our great sponsors!

Foriawellness.com/Foreplay -- get 20% off your first order!

Lumedeodorant.com -- Foreplay listeners get $5 off the starter pack!

Addyi.com -- an FDA approved drug for women struggling with low libido.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Grab your pen and notebook for this, you're going to want ALL the notes from this episode! George and Dr. Laurie answer a mailbag question from a longtime listener about bl*w jobs. More specifically, wanting to know how to talk to their spouse about feeling disappointed that this isn't happening in their sex life. We know that this might be a tense topic for some but our hosts do a fantastic job of equalizing this and addressing what stops oral sex from happening for either partner. Touch, taste, smell and thoughts around the physical aspects of the act are some of the reasons that block or*l sex from being a more regular part of your repertoire. Laurie and George give us some tips and tricks on how to improve basic gential hygiene. Most importantly, these experts discuss the communication issues that present and block partners from having a successful conversation about this topic. As always George reinforces, "if a couple can have a conversation about something then anything is possible." Learn how to work through this delicate conversation with your partner and strengthen the security in your sex life today!

Therapists, if you want to help your clients gain more success around these conversations, make sure you join us for our upcoming Sex and EFT training this January. There is still time to register on our website. We hope to see you there!

Check out our awesome sponsors! (They help us keep the lights on and the episodes coming!)

CozyEarth.com - the softest, nicest, bestest sheets and PJ's I've ever used!

Uberlube.com - Best sex lubricant on the market! Safe and effective.

EveryPlate.com/podcasts -- use the code 'Foreplay' to receive $1 steaks!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever scratched your head and wondered 'why does my partner do that?' this episode is for you. What if you could understand the waves that hit you when you face rejection or failure with your partner? This episode will help you do exactly that. We've talked a lot  about pursuers and withdrawers in past episodes. Join us today as we name the five waves that each position experience in a negative cycle. George shares that we need to understand the waves to develop language in these sometimes dark places. It will be hard to communicate what you don't have words for and our hosts want to help you develop the vocabulary to speak openly and honestly to your love. What better way to start off the new year than learning how to love better. Grab your surfboards listeners and come along with us to learn how to ride the relationship waves with ease!

Check out our great sponsors!

Addy.com for medical treatment of female low libido

RocketMoney.com - to help you eliminate unwanted subscriptions that you started and no longer want.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners to today's episode! A pick six in football is when the opposing team catches an interception and returns in for a touchdown. This can either be the most exhilarating or devastating play of the game depending on which team you are cheering on. Either way, it is an exciting play that can change the outcome of the situation. Join us today as we have a little fun and apply this to relationships. In today's episode you will learn how to salvage a relationship mishap. George and Laurie share several examples of common cycle starters and how we can override the automatic response and respond more relationally. Your partner tries to initiate s*x but you are busy. You see their disappointment and feel yourself getting critical, learn how to slow down and communicate with your partner. In another example, your partner asks for your help and you brush them off because you have SO many more things to be working on. Your partner reacts by shutting down: learn how to re-engage and support them! Intimate relationships are a series or ruptures and repairs and the most successful couples have a solid repair strategy. Gather your favorite teammate and listen to this episode to improve your repair playbook today!

Check out our great sponsors!

Uberlube.com

RocketMoney.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

But, George and Laurie, what is "rizz?" Rizz, selected as Oxford's word of the year for 2023, is defined as a slang term used to describe someone's ability to flirt. The word may be familiar as its origin is the existing word charisma. Join us in this episode as we break down what is rizz and how to apply it to your relationship. Maybe you're already one of those people that has a keen ability to light up a room, draw others to you, be self-confident and also intune with your audience. Some of us may struggle here but learning to rizz better is possible and perhaps something to add to your 2024 resolutions list. Our hosts implore us to do this by: improving active listening skills, eye contact, making conversation more personal, and better attunement as strategies to improve your rizz. They also note that most of us have strong rizz at the start of a relationship because we tend to put in more effort and intentionality when we are pursuing a new partner. However life takes over and that focused effort often wanes leading our rizz to drop with our intimate partners. We had a lot of fun on this episode keeping up with what's hip and we hope it's a fun and playful conversation to share with your partner on increasing intentionality in your communication. Keep it hot y'all!   

Check out our sponsors and help support our work educating couples!

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Cozy Earth has the most comfortable, breathable sheets! It is like sleeping on a cloud. Use the code 'foreplay' for 35% off site-wide!

Addyi.com for pharmaceutical help with female low libido. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shame is an emotional experience that confirms our biggest

insecurities. S*x is a sacred space that requires us to be naked physically,

emotionally and spiritually. We don't want to think of shame here, rather we

decide that s*x "should" be: passionate, spontaneous, simple yet, s*x

with your intimate partner can trigger shame. Join us today as we discuss the

reasons why we can feel shame around physical intimacy. George and Laurie lead

listeners through a valuable conversation on what parts of an individual

become exposed in this vulnerable place and how to begin to make sense of those

internal messages. George reminds us that the antidote to shame is in

connection and humans are not meant to face shame in isolation. We explore the

deeper attachment themes present and Laurie highlights the dilemma of shame;

sharing shame with a loved one increases safety but we need safety to be able

to share shame. If a s*xual experience with your partner has ever felt like

rejection or failure this episode is a must listen to help you understand how

to address the "relationship ouch" and open up a conversation with

your partner that is full of healthy relationship risk taking. Make sure to

visit our website www.foreplayrst.com

and leave us questions or comments in our mailbag. We want to help you bust

shame and keep it hot y'all!

Check out our sponsors! (It helps us pay the bills!)

Dipsea -- Develop your erotic mind! Designed by women for women! An app with short, sexy stories to help you get in the mood! Go to dipseastories.com/foreplay for an extended 30 day free trial!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant for great sex! Silky, smooth, and safe! Order it today with the coupon code 'foreplay'!

Addyi.com/Foreplay -- Ask your gynecologist about this drug that helps women with low libido!

Everyplate.com/podcast/49foreplay -- These meals are fantastic! Simple to make, appropriately portioned, delicious!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a relationship when we experience emotional hurt we quickly want to assign meaning to the feeling. Our brains are wired to make sense of the threat and a pang of rejection can send our thoughts spiraling. Then BAM we are in the cycle with our partner. Join us today as we help you make better and more accurate meaning to slow down this automatic process and keep you from falling head first in the negative cycle. As EFT therapists, we work to make reframes of protective behavior to help individuals expand meaning and perspective. When you can hold more space in your body for the physical sensation of an emotion you keep your brain in a neutral zone. A neutral zone will help you be open minded, think relationally and use communication skills like curiosity, understanding, validation and empathy. You will leave this episode with examples of common inaccurate meanings, why your brain does this, what to do instead and how to talk to your partner better. Head on over to our instagram page and let us know in the comments what meaning you commonly assign to your partner's behavior. We want to help you get out of this trap and love better and have better sex!

Check out our sponsors!

CozyEarth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Addyi.com/Foreplay -- Ask your gynecologist about this drug that helps women with low libido!

Rocket Money - Rocket Money can track down and cancel all those online subscriptions you've made and forgotten about that come out of your bank automatically. Save money with Rocket Money! Use the link and let them know we sent you!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You grind so hard all year in hopes to spend quality time during the holiday season with your love but when the time comes you end up getting caught in the cycle. Has this ever happened to you? The holiday season brings out the extremes and primes relationships for the classic blame/attack cycle. Partners locked in tension often scream "you're too much/you're not enough" while putting on cheerful faces for family photoshoots and out of town visitors. We see the challenge and we've been there before! Join our hosts today as we open up a conversation on the many conflicts couples face during the holidays and how to stress less together. George and Laurie discuss the invisible workload and mental labor that goes into making holiday magic, the demands on time and energy and the cycles that couples get locked in. This episode will help each partner expand their perspectives and start a valuable dialogue of ways to support one another better, increase appreciation and create time to step under the mistletoe. We know that making memories isn't easy work and we want to prevent your relationship from taking the hard hits this year!

Check out our sponsors!

Check out our great sponsors:

CozyEarth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Dipsea -- Develop your erotic mind! Designed by women for women! An app with short, sexy stories to help you get in the mood! Go to dipseastories.com/foreplay for an extended 30 day free trial!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant for great sex! Silky, smooth, and safe! Order it today with the coupon code 'foreplay'!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warning this episode is NSFW and you might want to sit down for this one! Is dirty talk part of your love making repertoire? Dirty talk is defined as talking explicitly about sex with your partner. These explicit words run the gamut and can either be a major turn ON or turn OFF. Join our hosts today as they not only give us a list of dirty words to use during sex but discuss how to artfully bring up this HOT topic with your love. This is an area that you want to approach thoughtfully. Moving too fast has the potential to ruin the fun that dirty talk could bring to your sex life. Here are some great questions to ask if you want to test the waters in this arena: "How do you want to talk about our sex?" "Is there a specific name or language you want me to use about your body parts, our moves during lovemaking?" "What ways can we create comfort and also turn up the heat?" Find out how your partner wants to hear it and learn what it does or doesn't do for them. Getting to know your partner better is always a good thing! Keep it hot y'all!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A fetish is an object or part of the body that turns someone on sexually. How do partners safely discuss fetishes? Join George and Laurie in today's episode as they answer a mailbag question from a listener who discovered that their spouse has a foot fetish. This episode is for you if you have a fetish that you're unsure how to share with your spouse or you have learned about your spouse's fetish. Dr. Laurie shares that rather than shut down the fetish a couple can focus on expansion of sexual worlds. She provides direction on taking the sexual charge the fetish creates and making use of it in a way that supports the sexual relationship between partners. Exploring sexual fetishes may cause conflict between partners and George reminds us that better communication here is key. We reduce the fear of the unknown by having good conversation between lovers and learning how/if this fetish is integrated in the relationship. We want to thank our listener for sending in this question and opening up our audience to the topic of fetishes. We'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

Make sure to drop us a line either in our listener mailbag or over on our instagram page @foreplay_sextherapypodcast Thanks as always for helping us keep it hot, y'all!

Check out our great sponsors:

CozyEarth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Dipsea -- Develop your erotic mind! Designed by women for women! An app with short, sexy stories to help you get in the mood! Go to dipseastories.com/foreplay for an extended 30 day free trial!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant for great sex! Silky, smooth, and safe! Order it today with the coupon code 'foreplay'!

Addyi.com/Foreplay -- Ask your gynecologist about this drug that helps women with low libido!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Foreplay listeners, join George and Laurie in this episode and help us celebrate 4 years of podcasting together! It has been quite a ride with our fearless love experts at the helm and we look forward to continuing to help our listeners keep it hot! Today we are breaking down the formula to unlock female desire. Listen as we share the 3 key ingredients that we have found are a common theme among clients, friends and in studies. They are emotional connection before sex, relaxation before sex and wooing/wowing your love. Women need emotional connection to unlock their sexual desire. Tune into the emotional needs of your female partner and focus on high levels of emotional engagement. Ask yourself: Am working to ensure that my lady feels seen, heard and understood? Next, never-ending to-do lists often keep women trapped in a constant state of go, not allowing for the proper amount of relaxation to help prime the body for desire and sexual connection. A spa day a few times a year is great but just won't cut it when it comes to unlocking female desire. Help your love protect her space and focus on relaxation. Lastly, we're talking about wooing and wowing. Getting explicit with compliments, playfulness, flirtations to directly signal how much you want and desire the woman in your life.

We'd love to hear your feedback on the episode. Make sure to rate and review us!

Check out our sponsors!

Foria -- A wonderful sex oils with 20% off your first order. Foriawellness.com/foreplay or use the coupon 'foreplay' at checkout.

LifeMD.com --lifemd.com/FOREPLAY today and see why LifeMD is America’s most trusted leader in virtual healthcare

Go to Addyi.com and use code FOREPLAY for a $10 telemedicine appointment to see if Addyi is right for you. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Laurie and George answer a mailbag question in this episode. "I think my husband has been faking orgasms...how can I bring this up without increasing the anxiety he may already be feeling?" We want to thank our brave listener for reaching out to us with this question and bringing up a topic that is rarely discussed. Our hosts help provide language for couples and also make more explicit the emotions that end up driving the 'faking behavior'. Learn how to start a difficult conversation with your partner and pay attention to these key takeaways from this episode: the compliment sandwich, reducing unhealthy shame, giving men the permission to not orgasm and taking some of the pressure off. We love helping listeners with questions like this, so make sure you visit our website and drop us a note!

Check out our great sponsors:

Uberlube.com -- Uberlube is our preferred lubricant for great sex! It's silicone-based and won't stain, is water-soluable, and is all-around fantastic!

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is it exactly that women want? As the conversation of patriarchy and toxic masculinity have buzzed over the past few years (and for good reason) we're all left scratching our heads navigating this conversation. Join Laurie and George today in this exploratory conversation on masculinity and modern relationships. Spurred from a weekend away with Dr. Laurie's girlfriends filled with laughter, LOTS of conversation about sex and the lyrics from the song, 'Cover Me Up' by pop country star Morgan Wallen we get our topic for today's show. The song describes a man down on his luck, abusing drugs and alcohol yet taking the woman that he loves with wild abandon. Get the chance to hear how this made Laurie swoon and why other women may be so turned on by clear and direct sexual signals. This is certainly a topic that may heat things up physically with a tad of controversy but one that we think is worth talking about in bedrooms everywhere. We want to hear your thoughts on masculine energy. What does it look like? What does it do for you? When is it too much, too little? Help us engage this topic with some curiosity and openness.

Make sure to pop over to our instagram page @forelay_sextherapypodcast and leave your thoughts in the comments. As always, keep it hot y'all!

Check out our fantastic sponsors (and help the podcast!):

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

George reminds us that the sexual relationship between adults is the ultimate playground and reclaiming that energy is what makes great lovers! When couples identify and de-escalate their negative cycle they can sometimes become unclear about what happens next. You've been so trapped in the conflict that doing something different is relieving yet we still crave more depth in the partnership. We share the good news of what the payoff is from all the hard work!

Join us today as we expand on this and help both pursuers and withdrawers answer the question of "what now?" In the negative cycle partners encounter one another's protections. The protective moves are covering up a negative emotion and underneath the negative emotion lies a very important need or longing. Everyone has these needs and they are healthy! This is an engaging conversation that you don't want to miss because it provides the keys for transformation. Get more clear on the safety you need in your relationship and what the negative emotion is telling you about the longing underneath.

Let us know how we're doing by rating and reviewing our podcast and following us on instagram @foreplay_sextherapypodcast

Check out our sponsor:

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, George and Laurie explore the world of the sexual withdrawer. In the sexual cycle, withdrawers avoid, shut down or turn away from sexual connection. This causes the sexual pursuer to feel rejected, hopeless and abandoned and their reaction often confirms the withdrawers worst fears about sex. Anxiety does what anxiety does and a tension begins to form around this precious part of their relationship. Join us as wedeep dive into the sexual withdrawer's fears and help them discover what draws them away from connection to their sexual self. A lack of touch in early childhood, sexual trauma, shame around body image or expression of sexuality will undoubtedly cause someone to shut down their connection to sex and sensuality. This exploration allows the sexual withdrawer to safely investigate this area and express the fear around reaching for or engaging in sexual connection. A key takeaway in this episode is helping sexual withdrawers identify what they actually want. Special shoutout on this episode to our friend and colleague, Julie Mennano of @thesecurerelationship Julie's instagram content provides great nuggets of information on attachment and relationships. Give her a follow today!

*We want to make the disclaimer that partners always have the right to say no in a relationship and our material is not applicable to any form of abuse in relationships. If you are concerned about abuse inyour relationship we encourage you to find a safe computer and learn more about the signs. Visit www.thehotline.org

Check out our fantastic sponsor!

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.\

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Since the majority of women are responsive to desire, does that mean all women are sexual withdrawers?" Dr. Laurie says, "Absolutely not!" Join us on the episode as Laurie and George break down the difference between initiating and responsiveness and the pursue/withdraw cycle. How they look similar and how they are different. We discuss underlying needs and tactile ways in which each partner can take risks to deescalate negative cycles and bring more connection to the relationship. Pursuers and withdrawers will feel validated and comforted with the information in today's episode and walk away with action steps on how to improve their relationship with their spouse. We hope you join us and download and share this episode. Let us know how we're doing by rating and reviewing our show. Your feedback helps us keep it hot!

Check out our fantastic sponsors!

Dipsea -- Develop your erotic mind! Designed by women for women! An app with short, sexy stories to help you get in the mood! Go to dipseastories.com/foreplay for an extended 30 day free trial!

Cozy Earth has the most comfortable, breathable sheets! It is like sleeping on a cloud. Use the code 'foreplay' for 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant for great sex! Silky, smooth, and safe! Order it today with the coupon code 'foreplay'!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Laurie and George in this episode as they answer a mailbag question from a devoted listener. The sexual pursuer asks the experts how can I tell my partner I am longing for more erotic connection without it coming across as criticism and causing my partner to shut down. George and Laurie validate this pursuer and all their efforts they put forth for the relationship and come alongside to help them communicate with their love. We discuss how these partners might be missing each other and how they can embrace their erotic and develop a more expansive erotic vocabulary. Not sure what to say to your lover beyond, “baby, you look so good”? Then make sure to download and share this episode and wow them with your words!

Check out our sponsors!

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You might be downloading this episode hoping to hear about a sexual position but this episode is all about going deeper into VULNERABILITY. Laurie and George get curious with the longings of the sexual pursuer and sexual withdrawer, what their experience is and how it manifests in the cycle. A sexual pursuer might be asking, "am I too much?" and the sexual withdrawer might find themselves asking, "am I enough?" Join our hosts today as they bring these fears to light and share with listeners how we can take accountability for how our longing is expressed in the cycle and freedom to explore "Who am I and what do I want without these protections taking over?" If you are looking to understand your cycle more, make sure to download this episode today and share with your love. Take away from this episode good information on recognizing the cycle, helping each other with pain and discovering new parts of yourself and your partner. As George says, "It is so inspirational to see how love can heal when it is shared in these dark places."

Check out our great sponsor for this episode:

Uberlube -- Uberlube is our preferred lubricant for great sex! It's silicone-based and won't stain, is water-soluable, and is all-around fantastic!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sights, sounds and smells OH MY! There are many aspects to sex that can cause embarrassment for partners. We are here to let you know that so many things you are worried about are NORMAL! Join us in this episode to hear our list of '10 things not to be ashamed of during sex'. Maybe you were told that women weren't supposed to make noises during sex or incorporating a vibr@tor was wrong. Whatever the message was, you may be dealing with shame around sex that stops you from having an earth-shattering orgasm and a healthy sex connection between partners. Listen to Laurie and George break down the top 10 things that cause shame that shouldn't and how to have these types of conversations with your partner. We encourage you to ask yourself what messages did you receive around the thing that causes shame, have you ever shared it and how is it affecting you? Come along with the experts, download this episode and share with your partner so you can move from shame to sensation together!

Check out our fantastic sponsors!

Dipsea -- Develop your erotic mind! Designed by women for women! An app with short, sexy stories to help you get in the mood! Go to dipseastories.com/foreplay for an extended 30 day free trial!

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have anxiety when it comes to your sex life? Maybe you identify with the sexual pursuer role in the relationship and find that you are the partner that keeps track of when and how often you have sex. This can create so much pressure for you and your partner! Join Laurie and George today as they discuss four ways anxiety is killing your sex life and the tools you need to fix it. George reminds us that anxiety can put us in yellow brain, meaning we cautious with our lovers because we are fearing rejection and loss of connection. If this is something that shows up in your relationship, this is a must listen episode. Download and share with your partner as an exercise to join with each other and face the anxiety together. Like what we're doing? Make sure to rate and review wherever you listen to our podcast and give us a follow on Instagram for more great info!

Check out our sponsors!

Cozy Earth has the most comfortable, breathable sheets! It is like sleeping on a cloud. Use the code 'foreplay' for 35% off site-wide!

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Delayed ejaculation is when a man cannot reach orgasm intervaginally during sexual intercourse. If this is something you have dealt with, you are not alone! We know that this can be frustrating and embarrassing for men that have experienced this and today's episode will provide you with tangible tools to overcome it. Join George and Laurie today as they discuss delayed ejaculation, the cause of it and problem solving strategies. Download this episode to learn how to reduce the pressure around orgasming and how to communicate with your partner. Don't forget to join us on September 8th for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat. We are so ready to help you have better love and better sex in your relationship!

Check out our fantastic sponsors:

Foria -- foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY OR use code FOREPLAY - These oils help enhance a woman's orgasm! Field tested by Laurie's crew. Use the link and get 20% off your first order!

OMGYes.com/FOREPLAY - Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners! Today we are saying F the Cycle and using good energy to help deconstruct the negative cycle and rebuild a positive connection. In this episode George and Laurie reinforce the brain training concept, 'Name it to Tame it' in regards to the sexual cycle. Why is naming the cycle so important? It is because the initial reactive response comes from the limbic region of your brain. The primitive part of your brain that senses out real or perceived threat and gives you only a few options, fight, flight or freeze. All of these protective moves are designed to do one thing: get you to immediate safety. They do not promote connection or the needs of the relationship. Since these moves get us to safety and in control they feel good in the short term. Overtime, however, they erode connection in the relationship because of how the move impacts your partner. Naming the cycle takes the response from the limbic region of your brain to the frontal cortex where we gain a better sense of understanding and organization to what is happening. In simpler words, we become less reactive and more responsive. Come get a little nerdy with us today and learn more about how relationship distress affects your brain and take the opportunity to unite with your partner and say "F the Cycle!" Make sure to leave us a rating or review to help spread the word about Foreplay. Better sex and relationships for all!

Check out our fantastic sponsors!

CozyEarth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.

Dipsea -- Develop your erotic mind! Designed by women for women! An app with short, sexy stories to help you get in the mood! Go to dipseastories.com/foreplay for an extended 30 day free trial!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant for great sex! Silky, smooth, and safe! Order it today with the coupon code 'foreplay'!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you take your partner's behavior personally? Learn how not to in this episode! It's common for individuals to engage in pursuing or withdrawing behaviors in their relationships. If not feeling heard or understood by your partner you might push to move through the conflict or withdraw to move away from it. Both moves are meant to create safety but can continue to cause more distress between partners. In this episode, Laurie and George discuss the moves of pursuers and withdrawers, how partners can often flip roles based on the situation and how to have a conversation that leads to understanding and connection. Listeners are reminded that you don't have to be perfect but good enough. Try asking yourself this question to understand your moves and your partner's more: What is happening for me that I am pushing/withdrawing? What could be happening for my partner that is causing them to push/withdraw? A little more vulnerability to keep it hot y'all!

Check out our great sponsor:

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex and how to make it and keep it hot!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are celebrating the 400th episode of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! The idea for the podcast originated after Laurie was told by commercial radio that she was too spicy for broadcast. Their loss is our gain. Join Laurie and George today as they celebrate this major accomplishment AND give us all the details on women's pleasure! Listeners will walk away with do's and don'ts and many new techniques to help yourself or the lady in your life achieve sexual pleasure. If you love our show please leave us some love by rating and reviewing the podcast wherever you stream episodes. We need YOU to help us spread the word about Foreplay. Help us keep it hot y'all!!

Thanking Joe our editor! Rebecca our faithful social media person, Krista - long-serving social advisor, SamGetsSocial, our new social media help!, Madison - our former social media person, Derek - our tech guru and Dr. Adam Mathews - friend and former co-host! Send you all love - couldn't have done it without you!!!

Check out our most excellent sponsors!

Cozy Earth has the most comfortable, breathable sheets! It is like sleeping on a cloud. Use the code 'foreplay' for 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube.com -- Uberlube is our preferred lubricant for great sex! It's silicone-based and won't stain, is water-soluable, and is all-around fantastic!

OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oof listeners, this is some hard content that we are discussing today! Loss of attraction is often shared as the reason for the ending of a relationship. Maybe partners never felt deeply attracted to one another, or attraction waned over the years. Regardless of the reason, this is a must have conversation before it's too late. Join George and Laurie today on ways to artfully bring this conversation up with your spouse, to help share your feelings and also mitigate disaster. While this may seem like one of those difficult, untouchable conversations if it goes unsaid it's likely to cause a deep disconnection. From this episode, you'll gain a better understanding of why you may be experiencing this, how you contribute and more confidence in how to talk about it. Download this one and make sure to leave a review and rating for Foreplay so we can continue to help partners have better sex!

Check out our sponsors!

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's better than two relationship experts hosting a podcast? When they invite a guest and now listeners are privy to THREE relationship experts! Join Laurie and George in a special episode where we welcome Dr. Stan Tatkin creator of PACT couples therapy. PACT is a fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation. Stan is the author of several books, notably "Wired for Love" and his newest release, "In Each other's Care." Come along with us as George and Laurie role play a session with Stan and discuss the intersection between PACT and EFT all in effort to help couples create more conscious connections and loving relationships.

Check out our sponsors!

Cozy Earth has the most comfortable, breathable sheets! It is like sleeping on a cloud. Use the code 'foreplay' for 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant for great sex! Silky, smooth, and safe! Order it today with the coupon code 'foreplay'!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How often do you check in with your spouse where there is no agenda? We often check-in on logistics and focus on the caretaking needs of the family but do you ever just have moments where you ask your partner, "How are you, really?" Join our hosts in this episode to hear about the POWER of the intentional check-in with your partner. These conversations are primed for connection and help meet the attachment needs that we all have to be heard, understood and seen by a safe and loving other. They are not solution-focused, or goal-oriented conversations and it's important to frame them as such. Intentional check-in conversations help us slow down, work on being present and open with each other. If you haven't had one recently, we encourage you to download and share this episode and get the conversation going today!

Help us spread the word about Foreplay! Please vote for us in the People's Choice Podcast Awards! Click here and find us under 'Health'!

Please check out our episode sponsor:

Manscaped -- the Performance Package 4.0 is here! Great grooming products for 'down under'! Coupon code 'foreplay' for 20% and free shipping!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've seen it in the movies and on TV, the sexy, good-looking couple in bed that climax together. The simultaneous orgasm is a goal many couples think they need to achieve for mind-blowing sex. The problem? It sets most of us up for failure when we don't meet the Hollywood ending. Join George and Laurie in today's discussion on how couples can achieve simultaneous orgasms, the good conversations to have around orgasms and how to talk when it doesn't work out as planned. Sex that doesn't end the way you had hoped can be disappointing. However, if you don't acquire the skill to talk about this with your partner that disappointment will fester and has the potential to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Good sex with your partner is achievable and it starts with a good conversation about sex!

Great Love Great Sex Online Retreat coming up! Listeners, make sure you sign up for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat happening on September 8th, 2023. Registration is open now on our website.

Check out our sponsor:

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the quest to answer the age old question "What do women want?" have we forgotten to stop and ask how women work? Join George and Laurie today for a thrilling conversation to learn about how women are wired. Laurie describes that 50% of women have receptive desire. Meaning their brain needs to stop thinking about the needs of others and click over to 'think sexy.' Men are driven by a 24 hour testosterone cycle that helps make them much more spontaneous lovers while women's levels rise and fall in a cyclical pattern. These differences can create sexual tension but we have some great tips to help get couples on the same page. Differences aside, we can all land on sex being an enjoyable experience for all! Download this episode today to learn more about the inner world of the woman in your life, how to be a secure and confident lover, getting better at timing and expressing desire. 

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Not tonight, I'm just too tired." If this phrase has echoed off your bedroom walls then this episode is for you! Life's demands, new baby, chronic illness, age are all reasons we have for being too tired. In fact, recent research touts just how important a good night's sleep is for our health to manage stress and reduce anxiety. What happens though, when you turn to your partner to initiate love-making and more often than not you meet their sleep mask or snores instead of their kisses and warmth? Join George and Laurie in this episode for a conversation around the need for sleep and sex! We discuss how we can be sensitive to our partner's need for rest and also when tiredness might be a sign of relationship disconnection.

Check out our sponsors!

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you threatened by a vibrator? Maybe it's something you've been thinking about using or only using alone. Vibrators can play an important role in a couple's sex life but might bring up myriad emotions. You may worry that a vibrator means that you are a bad lover but we hope to reduce the stigma around sex toys! Most women do not orgasm through intercourse alone and using a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris may help her body get into the zone for an orgasm. As we hear from Laurie in this episode, "If you increase the amount of orgasm, it's better for everyone!." Join our hosts to learn: how to talk about using a vibrator as part of your love making, how to get started with a vibrator, and Laurie's recommendations!

There is still time to register for our virtual couple's retreat, Great Love and Great Sex, happening on September 8th. Head to our website www.foreplayrst.com to sign up!

Also please check out our sponsor ZocDoc! They have the medical referral you need, when you need it. Finding the right doctor (in the right area with the right insurance...) can be challenging. ZocDoc is your one-stop referral source that allows you to find the help you need!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everybody in a relationship needs to learn this! Join Laurie and George today as they discuss and teach an integral relationship skill, asking for what you need from your partner in a way that increases connection. Each individual in a relationship has their own set of longings. Expressing a longing in a vulnerable way is SCARY. It's scary because we fear a negative reaction from the person we love the most. That fear drives us to mask and express the longing in a more protected way. Instead of, "I miss you and I really want to spend time with you." We end up saying, "Oh, so you're going to be late again." And BAM, we are in a negative cycle. George and Laurie are experts at showing us how and why it goes wrong and the strategies to set it right. Make sure to download this episode and share it with your partner so you can both learn how to express your needs in a way that increases connection, emotional and sexual in your relationship today!

Join us on September 8th at 9am EST for our virtual couples retreat, Great Love and Great Sex to learn more conflict resolution skills and keys to a more loving relationship and how to keep it hot after all these years!

Check out our highlighted sponsor for this episode:

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When our brain is in a threat response our view narrows and we typically only see our side. Relationship research shows that secure couples are able to find common ground in conflict and widen their perspective to include their partner. Holding opposing points of view helps to reduce the negative cycle as partners are able to understand, validate and provide empathy to one another. And we know that this can be SO HARD! Join George and Laurie for today's episode where they discuss and role play how to find and stay on common ground with your partner during conflict.

Join us on September 8th at 9am EST for our virtual couples retreat, Great Love and Great Sex to learn more conflict resolution skills and keys to a more loving relationship and how to keep it hot after all these years!

Check out our sponsor for this episode:

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who of our listeners wants a Full Bodied Orgasm? Join Laurie and George in this episode to learn all about the full bodied orgasm. A FBO is one that is felt throughout the entire body not just concentrated to the genitals. Laurie was recently interviewed and quoted in several publications, describing a full bodied orgasm and that it is in fact a real thing! This truly is the sex education you didn't get and men and women alike will want to listen to this episode to learn more about an orgasm that spreads throughout your entire body and some tips on how to make it happen. And don't worry if you've never had this happen before. We are firm advocates that all orgasms are good orgasms! Listeners, make sure you sign up for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat happening on September 8th. Registration is open now on our website.

Check out our sponsor for this episode:

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Episode #389 Laurie and George discuss common roles in couple's relationships around sex. Are you the partner that initiates or the receptive partner? Our hosts detail that there is no right or wrong to either of these roles but when stuck in a negative cycle, couples can easily pathologize their partner. "Oh, all they ever think about is sex. They just want to get off." Or, "They are so cold. If I don't bring it up we would never have it at all." If this sounds like something that happens in your relationship, then this is an episode you will want to download and share with your partner! Listen as George and Laurie, get into the minds of each partner and the valid reasons they do what they do. In a negative cycle, protection drives interactions and couples lack the ability to be understanding, empathetic and de-escalated to listen to their partner. Join us in learning more about initiating and receptive sex and think about this homework assignment from G: Thank my partner for the way they show up, take ownership of my move in the cycle and share that to one another.  

Please check out our online couples retreat -- Great Love & Great Sex -- September 8, 2023!

Also please check out our sponsor ZocDoc! They have the medical referral you need, when you need it. Finding the right doctor (in the right area with the right insurance...) can be challenging. ZocDoc is your one-stop referral source that allows you to find the help you need!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boring is a signal and it's a sign that something needs to change! A complaint about monogamy is that the line between responsibility and desire often gets blurred and it is responsibility and safety that win out. Long-term couples come to therapy with a complaint that sex is predictable and had become boring. Join our hosts in this episode as they explore what might be lying under the surface. Are you simply disengaged from life? Or is there a relational dynamic that has caused a couple to disengage from desire and their ability to express desire to each other. Our hosts remind us that sex is an exciting adventure and the safety of a long-term partnership invites us to take even more risks. If you have been thinking that sex with your honey has been a little stale, you'll certainly want to download this episode. There is still time to take advantage of our early bird discount for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat on September 8th. We hope to see you there!

Check out our sponsor:

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this listener mailbag episode, Laurie and George receive a thoughtful question from a sexual withdrawer, asking help from our hosts. They notice that as their partner asks what they want in bed, they are often empty and unknowing of the response. George and Laurie work to honor the protection of emptiness that can be present for many sexual withdrawers. The experience of not knowing the self or the needs of the self has ties to early childhood or influential relationships where there was safety in disowning needs. They provide valuable insight on the protective position and tangible strategies for listeners. If you consider yourself a sexual withdrawer or are in a relationship with a sexual withdrawer this is an incredible episode to listen to, download and share! We welcome couples to join us on September 8th for our Great Love and Great Sex virtual couples retreat! We have a breadth of information to share for sexual pursuers and withdrawers.

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Mistrust is part of the change process." We long for things to change, for the negative cycle to shift and for us to achieve closeness and connection but it is SO normal for blocks to occur during this time. Join Laurie and George in this episode learning about blocks to sexual connection, common blocks for pursuers and withdrawers and tools to use when a block occurs. Our hosts encourage us to predict the blocks and create a plan for repair, honor the function of the protection and get more comfortable in exploring the fear underneath. A key takeaway is that we become myopic during the cycle. Success in closeness is illustrated by predicting your partner's block, and being flexible to their underlying need.

Check out our Sponsors:

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can we ever get out of this place, this cycle? The answer is a resounding yes! Stage 1 in EFT works on de-escalating the negative cycle and creating more safety between partners. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual withdrawer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'll want to listen to this episode for these tips: how to go into the feeling, the signals that your body gives to expose your fear, and how to ASK your partner for help. Sexual withdrawers may need: understanding, acceptance and reassurance. George and Laurie encourage us to be brave in these dark places because we are not supposed to be here alone!

Make sure to sign up for our online couples retreat for all things Great Sex and Great Love happening on September 8th.

And check out our sponsors:

ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After the negative cycle is de-escalated, couples have the opportunity to create a new positive cycle. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual pursuer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'll want to listen to this episode for these tips: how to get the timing right, the signals that your body gives to expose your fear, what you need from your partner and how to ask for it! Make sure to sign up for our online couples retreat for all things Great Sex and Great Love happening on September 8th. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners to another great episode of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! Recently, Laurie read the book, "The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding Male Sexuality" by sex therapist,Daniel Watter and it sparked a conversation between Laurie and George. Low desire, erectile dysfunction, vaginismus are classified as sexual disorders that disrupt sexual function. The discussion by our hosts encourages us to explore further what our genitalsare saying when they are not "functioning" to standard. This existential approach allows us to explore beyond disorder and ways the body may be protecting itself during sex. This could signify untreated anxiety, relational distress or a new developmental stagethat is creating a crisis in a partnership. For example, after the birth of a child a relationship experiences a developmental crisis as it shifts from a partnership to parenting and caretaking of a child. It is often during these developmental changes thatnegative cycles are formed due to the change in the relationship. This is an innovative lens to look through and we hope you love this episode as much as we did!

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

Foria enhances your sex life with natural oils. These are absorbed into your skin and enhance the sexual experience. Their Awake & Arousal Oil and Sex Oil are great ways to have a better orgasm. Try it you'll like it! Use the link above or use the code 'foreplay' at checkout to get 20% off your first order.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Uberlube - Laurie's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Long before foreplay because it is soooo good for a great sexual experience. Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners to episode #382 of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! Join Laurie and George in a discussion on re-engagement of the sexual withdrawer. In this episode, Laurie shares about recent work she has been doing with a couple as the sexual withdrawer is taking new risks in the relationship. Laurie shares that when the sexual withdrawer begins to re-engage they are getting in touch with their own internal cues, examining the space between in how they communicate about sex ("I don't orgasm through intercourse alone. I worry my partner doesn't like my smell."), and get really specific about sexual technique. The SW expresses a LOT of vulnerability here as they express to their partner what they like sexually and what turns them on. Listen to George and Laurie as they discuss new moves in the sexual cycle and their hope for the sexual withdrawer.

Please check out our fantastic sponsors!

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Sometimes popping two gummies on vacation helps us have really great sex!" "I really need that glass of wine to get me in the mood!" "Smelling alcohol on your breath is such a turnoff!" As couples and sex therapists, we've talked to thousands of partners about how alcohol and substances affect their relationships. Sometimes couples report that alcohol is a major block to sexual connection, others share that it can help them get out of their heads and make sex more enjoyable. In your relationship, is alcohol a gas pedal or a brake? Meaning it turns you on and helps with desire, arousal, orgasm or it shuts you down and you withdraw from sex. If seeing your partner drunk is a sexual brake, you may feel rejected by their advances because they wouldn't typically act like that sober. If alcohol is a gas pedal, you may feel your inhibition lower and it's more comfortable to access thoughts about sex and connection to your body. Listen to this episode as George and Laurie discuss the function of alcohol in sex and relationships and what you may need to explore underneath if it is a gas pedal or brake. Our hosts approach this topic with non-judgement and are explicit that alcohol and substance use runs on a wide spectrum and affects people in many ways. We know this may open up myriad reactions from our listeners and we welcome your feedback! As always, thank you for listening and keep it hot, y'all!

Check out our sponsors!

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Cozy Earth -- the most fantastic, softest, comfiest sheets you've ever slept on! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' to get 35% off site-wide!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"If couples can talk more about sex, they end up having better sex." G drops this great quote in this episode. We all have sexual scripts based on what we learned about sex in our families, cultures and societies. These contextual factors can cause us to either be very open, neutral or avoidant when talking about sex. Listen to Laurie and George roleplay a conversation between a sexual withdrawer and sexual pursuer that at first initiates a negative cycle but then works on a repair conversation. As a sexual pursuer, your excitement about the act may lead you wanting to talk about it afterwards. You're really wanting to hear and share about the experience with your lover. A sexual withdrawer may just want to bask in the afterglow and can start to feel the pressure to 'get it right' in that conversation. We also take into account what is happening physiologically after sex. Arousal is a disinhibitor, wherein we feel more free to let go and let pleasure take over. After sex, when no longer aroused you may be feeling more vulnerable as you come back to the self and might not be ready for the debrief. If you enjoy this episode and others make sure to leave us a review or follow us on Instagram for more content to keep it hot!

Check out our great Sponsors!

Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay60 and get 60% off your first order! And free shipping. What a deal!

Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!

ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just like in therapy, we learn just as much from our listeners as you learn from us! A few weeks ago, we put out a request on our Instagram feed, @foreplay_sextherapypodcast for listeners to send us their best sex tips. Let us just say that, you DID.NOT. disappoint!! On this episode, George and Laurie read through some of the tips submitted: from being more intentional, to building anticipation and celebrating gray sweatpants season, this is a super fun and informative episode. Make sure to listen and share with your partner for some fresh ideas to keep it hot!

Sponsor:

Factormeals.com/foreplay50 and use code foreplay50 to get 50% off your first box

Cozyearth.com- 35% off site wide when you use the code FOREPLAY

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome listeners! This episode centers on using Viagra or other medication to help with erectile dysfunction and if they are addictive. Join George and Laurie as they discuss the prescription medication, the reasons behind erectile dysfunction and danger signs to look out for. A key theme of the episode is communication with your partner around the use of Viagra. Make sure to catch this episode to have your burning questions answered and hear Laurie shine as our resident Sexpert! What questions about sex and relationships do you have? Make sure to visit our website and submit questions to our mailbag. If you find our podcast helpful please make sure to leave us a review and share!

Please check out (and buy from!) our great sponsors:

Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay21 and get 21 free meals! And free shipping. What a deal!

Athletic Greens (AG-1) - Get your health needs met by taking AG-1! All the probiotics and vitamins you need in a simply and tasting shake. Make an easy shake as often as every meal and you'll be good to go. Use the code 'foreplay' to get a years supply of Vitamin D and a free travel pack with your first order!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save 10%!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Picture this, you walk in from a hard, stressful day at work and finally see your partner--your person. You say to them, "Honey, today was such a hard day. Everything went wrong. It was really bad." Your partner replies with, "Well, look on the bright side you're home and your job helps us keep this beautiful roof over our heads." Your body deflates a little. Your partner just brightsided you when you were really hoping for a little sympathy and comfort. This is defined as 'Toxic Positivity': an experience where someone shares something along a negative vein and the responder replies with the brightside, silver lining or overt positivity. In this episode, George and Laurie discuss how toxic positivity affects interactions between partners, why partners might anchor towards using it and how it causes disconnection in relationships. Listeners will take away intent v. impact, and how partners can shift from avoidance of negative emotion to connection through it and end up on the bright side together. If this shows up in your relationship either as the doer or receiver this episode is sure to spark a great conversation! Thanks for listening and keep it hot y'all!

Check out our great Sponsors:

Foria: Deeper, fuller pleasure with Foria's Awaken Arousal and Sex Oils. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY OR use code FOREPLAY at checkout

Check out our great sponsor Uberlube. Use the coupon code Foreplay to receive a 10% discount!

Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

CNN News Anchor Don Lemon recently baffled viewers on air when he said that women of a certain age are past their prime. His female co-hosts, mouth agape as Lemon doubled down on these claims. We at Foreplay felt compelled to respond to this unqualified remark. As therapists, we know that sexuality spans the life cycle and episode #376 challenges Lemon's antiquated notion as George and Laurie discuss sexuality as we age and the often invisible topic of Menopause. Women AND men do not want to miss this episode to learn more about menopause: when it starts, how long it lasts, changes to expect and tips on navigating body and sexual changes. We encourage men to be an active part of this process to help their wives cope with these changes and we emphasize the PAUSE piece. Women can see this as an opportunity to learn and explore their new body, ask what it needs, practice acceptance and find some freedom at this stage. Let us know what you think of the episode by leaving a review or sending us a DM on instagram. 

Check out our great sponsors:

Hello Fresh - Quick, easy, fun meals. In the hurly-burly of life, it's nice to have some meals ready to make that taste great! No more staring into the fridge wondering what to make!

Uberlube - Laurie's long time favorite lubricant! She's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

ZocDoc - Download this tremendous app to help you find the medical help you need, when you need it. No more having to figure out how to login to your insurance website to find a doctor or medical specialist. ZocDoc puts that all right at your fingertips! Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Building a Lasting Connection - The Couple Connection System is a fun, gamified way to deepen your communication, intimacy, and connection. It's fun and informative!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual discrepancies are common in relationships. While they occur to varying degrees, an inability to have safe and secure conversation on this topic with your partner can result in the formation of a negative sexual cycle. A dark cloud can form over this wonderful part of an intimate relationship and we risk sex being viewed as negative, rather than positive, loving and bonding. Inspired by a listener question, George and Laurie tackle the challenge of sexual discrepancy in this episode. This is a MUST LISTEN for couples that see the shift in their sexual worlds after becoming parents but don't know how to talk about it, have tried to talk about it before and it hasn't gone well, or might not have the energy to touch it with a ten foot pole! Both the partner that wants sex more often and the partner that may feel overwhelmed by how much they give to others will benefit from L & G's role play and come away with ways to say it better, express more vulnerability and face this dark cloud together. Sexual discrepancy is not an ending, it's an opportunity! 

Check out our sponsors!

Factor -- Fresh, quick, delicious! What more could you want from a prepped meal. Nothing to chop, nothing to prepare, just pop it in the microwave and you're ready. Flavor packed with any kind of menu you could want -- keto, vegan, and everything between. Use the code 'foreplay50' for 50% off your first meal.

Uberlube -- the best sexual lubricant on the market! Laurie's been recommending Uberlube for years; smooth, silky, silcone-based so that you don't have to worry about the problems of oil-based lubricants. Use the code 'foreplay' for your discount!

All you therapists out there! Come to our 2-day training on integrating the sexual and emotional cycles. How and when to bring up the sexual cycle, supercharge you couples work with Unleash the Power of Sex in EFT. Click here to find out more!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Allow me to introduce you to Dear Albie, a podcast hosted by Albie Manzo. And with the help of family and friends, he tries to answer old (and new) advice questions as best he can. Relationships, sex, etiquette, dead dogs, bored housewives, honeymoon protocol — and everything in between. The advice show you never knew you needed — every week, wherever you get your podcasts, and on the Cloud10 and iHeart Radio networks.

Listen on Apple & Spotify

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listeners, Valentine's Day is upon us and Laurie and George have compiled a great list of gifts and ideas both romantic and spicy to help you celebrate the day. If you're groaning over it being a commercialized holiday, we invite you to remember this can be a valuable day to celebrate your bond and try out some new moves. If you're looking for some unique date ideas, ways to express how you feel about your love or some fun products to try out make sure to download this episode to get in the mood. Share this with your lover and talk about whether you want a naughty or nice (or both) Valentine's Day!

Check out our fantastic sponsors:

Foria -- These oils help enhance a woman's orgasm! Field tested by Laurie's crew. Use the link and get 20% off!

Cozy Earth - The softest sheets we've ever slept in. Great V-Day gift to your lover. Use the code 'Foreplay' and get 35% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In EFT couples therapy, De-escalation is the first step in helping couples join against their negative cycle. A couple that is working on de-escalation works to identify their repeated move when they feel triggered, see their partner’s move and understand that it is a protection. Giving that move some permission. Lastly and most importantly, to turn and share this with their partner. During this stage in therapy, we can expect that this may result in a negative cycle. And while we don’t like that, we know it’s part of the process and because that cycle is so automatic. To gain success, couples therapists support partners in making micro moves to contribute to a new positive cycle. Couples and couples therapists will gain great knowledge from this episode and listening to Laurie and George’s role play that works through de-escalating a negative sexual cycle.

Please check out our sponsors:

Cosy Earth -- the softest sheets you'll ever feel; you'll want to be naked between these sheets for sure! You can receive 35% off site wide by using the code 'Foreplay'!

UberLube -- Uberlube is our favorite personal lubricant. Smooth and silky it enhances your time together. Use the code 'foreplay' to get your discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Performance based sex is problematic for couples. A focus on performance can create anxiety. Sex is being thought about in the head (how long will my erection last? Are they liking this? My partner doesn't feel aroused, does that mean I don't turn them on?) rather than experienced in the body. Partners that focus on performance during sex are motivated by approval rather than intimacy and pleasure. Of course the sounds or faces our lovers make during the act are approving, inviting and exciting but if we focus solely on those reactions our nervous systems can go into a tailspin if there isn't a match. So, how do we take sex from performance focused to a more embodied experience? This episode addresses just that! Listen to George and Laurie discuss how to name the pressure, talk about it safely and help one another's bodies relax to get fully online for sex or come up with a different solution if sex isn't going to happen. Great lovers are relaxed and we have better results when we work on this together rather than in isolation.

Check out our great sponsors:

Uberlube - Laurie's been recommending Uberlube to her clients for years! Long before foreplay because it is soooo good for a great sexual experience. Use the code 'foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Cozy Earth - These are the softest, sexiest sheets! So soft you'll want to be naked. They have pillows too! Check them out for a fun, long-lasting Valentine's gift. Use the code 'Foreplay' for 35% off sitewide!

Factor - Factor takes the stress out of healthy living. They provide fresh, ready-prepared meals that support even the busiest of lifestyles! They shop, prep, cook, and deliver to your door for you so you can experience the benefits of clean eating without the hassle. Quick and easy! And delicious! Get 60% off your first box by clicking here!

ZocDoc - You'll be able to find a specialist that you need, when you need it. ZocDoc is an app that will direct you to the exact medical specialist you need without a hassle. Try out the app today. Use the code 'Foreplay' so they know we sent you!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Disillusionment, despair, hopelessness. Many couples that find themselves in a sexless marriage experience these heavy emotions. These emotions can turn into depressed moods, overarching negative outlook on life and consistent feelings of failure. Assigning blame to your partner for either not wanting or wanting too much sex is often a strategy that is utilized to avoid this level of pain. Unfortunately, the blame continues to push partners away from each other and towards more disconnection. In this episode, Laurie and George create a safe space to allow individuals and couples to explore this pain,and shift away from blame and avoidance. Their role play will help you understand yourself and your partner better and is a great jumping off point to deepening the conversation around sexual discrepancies.

Check out our awesome sponsors:

Hello Fresh! -- Hello fresh helps you eat healthy even when you have little time. Their meals are delicious, easy to prepare, and they give you everything you need -- in the right proportions! George and I love the meals that Hello Fresh provides. Go to Hellofresh.com/foreplay21 and get 21 free meals! And free shipping. What a deal!

Rocket Money - Rocket Money can track down and cancel all those online subscriptions you've made and forgotten about that come out of your bank automatically. Save money with Rocket Money! Use the link and let them know we sent you!

Uberlube -- Laurie has been a fan of Uberlube for years! Long before Foreplay was started. Their personal lubricants are ideal to make the sexual experience top notch! Use the code 'foreplay' to save!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listeners join George and Laurie as they break down exactly what a squirting orgasm is and how it differs from female ejaculation, and the how to’s of it. Here are some great takeaways: there needs to be a LOT of stimulation from the G spot to achieve squirting, if you don’t experience squirting orgasms your orgasms are not less than, don’t put too much pressure on trying to make your partner squirt! This is the sex education none of us got but we’re always curious about!

Thank you so much to our sponsors:

Foria has sex oils that enhance a woman's orgasm! The reports from Laurie's clients give Foria's products 5 stars. Go to Foria for 20% off at foriawellness.com/FOREPLAY or use code FOREPLAY at checkout to receive 20% off your order.

Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year listeners! In this episode we are talking about sexual secrets: when to share with your partner and when to withhold. A sexual secret might look like a hot fantasy, a memorable sexual encounter with a past lover or a desire to explore sexually. Laurie and George guide listeners in their conversation on the healthy drive behind the secret and pros and cons of sharing or withholding. Our hosts put an emphasis on timing, good judgement and the risks and benefits associated. The erotic mind is always at work and this helps increase vitality and creativity. We still need to protect our relationship and consider, will sharing this secret draw my partner closer or push them away? Disclaimer: this episode is not about affair relationships!

Thank you so much to our sponsors:

Rocket Money -- finally an app that allows you to track (and cancel unused!) online subscriptions! Save money this holiday season that's just going down the drain! Rocketmoney.com/FOREPLAY

Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We can’t help but get swept up in fervor of the New Year energy! Join Laurie and George for a great conversation on how to have a successful year end sexual check-in with your partner. These conversations are so important for your relationship because they help create more intentionality and when we are more intentional in our partnerships we improve the sexual and emotional connection. Here are some great tips from the episode: Create safety to have the conversation, celebrate your wins from the previous year, acknowledge each other’s triggers, focus on wants and wishes not complaints and make it FUN! Happy New Year to all our listeners and a special thanks to our Patreon members and sponsors for helping us carry out our mission to improve the sexual connection in relationships. Cheers to keeping it hot in 2023!

Check out our sponsors!

Uberlube -- the best lubricant for better sex! Use the code 'Foreplay' so they know you are one of our peeps!

Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The negative cycle creates gridlock with couples because it is all about protection. Protection of what? The protection of unmet needs. In this episode, George and Laurie help listeners get clearer on the needs and attachment longings that lie under the surface. Voicing our needs requires A LOT of vulnerability which is often when they aren’t met, they trigger our protective behaviors and we become locked in a negative cycle. Partners that use both pursuing and withdrawing strategies will feel so validated by this episode as you learn to understand your need, value your protection and work to share vulnerability with the one you love. Download the episode today and share it with someone that would benefit from this information! (Episode Link)

Thank you so much to our sponsors:

Rocket Money -- finally an app that allows you to track (and cancel unused!) online subscriptions! Save money this holiday season that's just going down the drain! Rocketmoney.com/FOREPLAY

Building a Lasting Connection -- a wonderful, and fun relational game that helps build lasting connection. Try it out and improve your relationship. Use the coupon FOREPLAY to get 20% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jealousy is difficult to feel. I should trust my partner, I should be more confident. Even I don’t know what to do with my insecurity - it makes me feel ashamed. 

George suggests that jealousy is data from the body. It’s a signal that you feel vulnerable. We recognize our partner’s attractiveness. What we do with this feeling can actually increase the bond between us and our partner if we learn to ask for reassurance.

The problem is a jealous encounter may cause a partner to feel accused of doing something wrong. George and Laurie role-play it the escalated and triggered way. Then, they demo a more secure and protected way of sharing these feelings and getting the comfort that adds to the couple connection.

Check out our sponsors:

Uberlube -- Laurie's favorite lubricant for sex or all-around fun!

ZocDoc -- get the referral you need for immediate medical attention.

Lasting Connection System -- give yourself a gift and get this game! Helps you resolve conflicts and build lasting connection. Use the coupon 'foreplay20' to receive 20% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode Laurie and George respond to a question from a listener asking for their help. Our listener shares that they took a risk to bring something spicy into lovemaking and it was a complete miss with their partner. With a little humor and lots of validation, Laurie and George offer supportive advice about what to do when this happens. We know that when misses occur repair is key. Listen to tips here on how to successfully repair and how to be vulnerable with feelings of rejection.

Check out our sponsors:

Foria Wellness -- try their excellent sex oils! Their Awaken Arousal and Sex Oil are excellent for enhancing a woman's orgasm! Try it and see! Use the link Foria or use the code 'foreplay' and get 20% off your order!

Rocket Money -- if your like Laurie and sign up for online subscriptions for everything under the sun you need Rocket Money -- it'll help you by notifying you of subscriptions that you have and are renewing so that you can pay for only the online subscriptions you actually use!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Beatles said it best when they sang, "Money Can't Buy Me Love," however finances are a top source of conflict between couples and in this episode our hosts focus on money and the meaning it makes in your life. Join George and Laurie as they discuss money as a competing attachment. EFTers define a competing attachment as a "third," or something outside of a couple relationship that pulls attention away from the partnership in an unhealthy way. Couples then use withdrawing or pursuing strategies to bring awareness to the disconnection created by the competing attachment and a cycle forms. If you've never thought about your relationship with money, we invite you to download the episode and use the attachment lens to explore your relationship with money, the meaning it makes for you and how it affects your partnership.u

Check out our sponsor UBERLUBE. For the best lubricant on the market! Laurie has been recommending for over 20 years and so glad they support the podcast. Support Uberlube and Foreplay by using the code 'Foreplay' when you checkout.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rev is often a word you associate with a car engine, but did you know that REV is the acronym you need to improve your ability to listen to your partner better? REV stands for Reflect, Evocative Questions and Validation. Trust us when we tell you that REV simplifies and structures how to listen to your partner and helps conversations stay out of the conflict zone and more connected and loving. Download this episode and share it widely as listening is the most underutilized communication skill!

Check out our favorite lubricant: Uberlube! By buying online you help us to keep the podcast freely available! Use the coupon 'Foreplay' so they know that we sent you!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, our hosts breakdown the 5 Dimensions of Touch, from an article written by renowned sex therapist Barry McCarthy, PhD. George and Laurie guide us through the different dimensions: Affectionate touch, sensual touch, playful touch, erotic touch and intercourse. These 5 dimensions are NOT a linear roadmap to intercourse rather ways to increase touch between couples. Hosts provide examples of each and make it possible for couples to explore different levels and kinds of touch and how to have those important conversations to share what feels good, and what doesn’t with your partner. You can check out the original article here:  http://bit.ly/3V7rCD8 and make sure to download the episode for more!

Check out our sponsors and support the podcast!

ZocDoc is a free app to help you find a medical professional when you need one. Use the link so they know we sent you!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant and they've supported our podcast from the start. Laurie has been recommending this for 20 years, long before Foreplay started. Check them out! Use the coupon 'Foreplay' for a discount!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not only are our hosts here to provide good information but to dispel bad information. This week’s episode is all about premature ejaculation: the facts, busting myths, and the six-month protocol that couples can follow to fix it! If premature ejaculation has plagued your sexual world then you are going to want to download this episode and listen with your partner. You will be relieved to know that there is relief for the 40% of men that have been afflicted by PE. And men, you don’t exist in relationships alone, premature ejaculation affects the partner’s in your life too. Left untreated it runs the risk of creating a deep disconnection in your relationship. This episode provides clarity, a starting point and helps to reduce the shame around this all too common problem.

Thank you to our sponsors for their support in our mission!

Check out Foria -- their Awaken Arousal and their Intimacy Sex Oil really enhances a woman's orgasm. Try it out and see! Use the coupon code 'foreplay' at checkout for 20% off your order!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Timing is everything and for many, well most of us, we’ve all experienced poor timing. If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you most likely have a memory of a time when your partner shared something, you asked a question and it didn’t go over so well. An argument ensues and you’re both left with emotional whiplash. Download this episode to hear George and Laurie’s take on timing, why it goes south (from a neuroscience standpoint) and how to get it back on track. A bit of a spoiler but here is a gem from the episode: Is what you are about to say/do add or take away? Hear our hosts as they help listeners be more intentional about timing and how to recover when timing is off.

Check out our sponsors:

Cozy Earth has the softest sheets -- so soft you'll want to go to bed naked! In addition to sheets they have all sorts of loungewear. Check them out and get a 35% discount site wide when you use the code 'Foreplay'!

Uberlube is our favorite lubricant to make sex smooth and easy! Use the code 'Foreplay' and get 10% off!

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices