EP. 17: Finding Freedom From Toxic People (with Gary Thomas)

When you read the term “toxic people,” who comes to mind? A coworker? A family member? Someone at church? Maybe it’s a group of people who feed off of one another in the worst of ways. What makes someone toxic? What’s the difference between a toxic person and someone who’s broken and needs extra love? How do you know when it’s time to walk away from a toxic person? In this episode, our guest Gary Thomas will be leading us through a discussion of how to recognize and when to walk away from toxic people.

Bio of guest: 

Gary Thomas is the best-selling author of over 20 books including the topic of today’s show: When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. Gary serves on the teaching team at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, and has been married to his wife, Lisa, for 25 years. They have three adult children and a granddaughter. 

Notes and Quotes: 

• “Walking away isn’t always a statement of failure; it’s a statement of strategy.”
• If we let toxic people control our thoughts and focus, then we lose sight of the purpose God has for us.
• “Here’s my voice, here’s my mission” . . .  and don’t let a toxic person distract you from that mission.
• Women in their fifties will look back at the toxic people from their twenties and laugh at how insignificant those people have become in their lives.
• “Gaslighting is when somebody makes you feel like you’re crazy when you are speaking the truth.”
• “When you question your own sanity, they are destroying your foundation.”
• “All toxic people are difficult, but not all difficult people are toxic.”
• “Toxic people love to act in a toxic manner. Healthy people will occasionally act in a toxic way.”
• “Walking away is actually an act of worship.”
• “Toxic people often use toxic language. . . . They don’t want you to act like a Christian to please God, they are using your desire to please God as a weapon to control you.”

Links/Books/Resources Mentioned In Show: 

• Show Notes on godhearsher.org
• God Hears Her website: https://www.godhearsher.org/
• Subscribe on iTunes!  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/god-hears-her-podcast/id1511046507?utm_source=applemusic&utm_medium=godhearsher&utm_campaign=podcast
• Order God Sees Her: 365 Devotions for Women by Women on Amazon.  https://amzn.to/32lYSgh
• Order Gary’s book When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People on Amazon. https://amzn.to/3kt8eyp 
• Free eBooklet to Download: When Violence Comes Home: Help for Victims of Spousal Abuse https://discoveryseries.org/courses/when-violence-comes-home/
• Elisa’s Instagram: elisamorganauthor
• Eryn’s Instagram: eryneddy

Verses Mentioned in Show: 

• John 15:8 NIV “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+15%3A8&version=NIV 

• Mark 11:12–25 Jesus Curses a Fig Tree https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+11%3A12-25&version=NIV 

• Matthew 6:33 NIV “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+6%3A33&version=NIV 
• Matthew 7:6 NIV “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A6&version=NIV

• Matthew 22:37 NIV Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22%3A37&version=NIV 

• Jude 1:1 NIV “Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and a brother of James, to those who have been called, who are loved in God the Father and kept for Jesus Christ.” https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jude%201&version=NIV