EP. 78: Loving Your Neighbor Through Conflict (with Alexandra Kuykendall)

In our culture today, it’s normal to disagree with people and “cancel” them by refusing to talk to them or even trying to understand their viewpoints on various issues. But did you know that “cancel culture” contradicts what the Bible says? On this episode of God Hears Her, Elisa and Eryn interview Alexandra Kuykendall about what it means to actually love your neighbor the way Jesus did, even when you disagree.

About Our Guest:

Alexandra Kuykendall encourages the church to engage God’s world in the tension and intersection of heartache and hope. Her most recent book, Seeking Out Goodness: Finding the True and Beautiful All around You offers a roadmap for how to look for and find echoes of God’s goodness. Alex is the cofounder of The Open Door Sisterhood, a community of women working to be world changers for good right where they are. She cohosts a podcast and retreat under the same name. A trusted voice for Christian women, Alex has been a guest on Good Morning America, Focus on the Family’s Daily Broadcast, and Moody Radio. She lives in downtown Denver, Colorado, with her husband Derek and their four daughters.

Notes and Quotes: 

• “The gospel is still true. And God is still good. And we are not the first people to say ‘Where are we?’ and ‘What is happening in the world?’ This has been true throughout history. Before Jesus came, people were wondering that. After Jesus came, people have been wondering about that.”
• “We’re in a unique time, which allows us to have creativity in how we live out our faith but also in how we encourage each other.”
• “Jesus didn’t say, ‘Love your neighbors that agree with you, love your neighbors that make you feel comfortable, love your neighbors who give you strokes for what you’re doing with your life or that are happy that you go to church.’ He just said, ‘Love your neighbors like you would like to be loved.’”
• “Who are the people within our circles that we could love better?”
• “If there is awkward silence, it sometimes just gives someone the permission to keep talking.”
• “If I don’t bail, I am telling them, ‘You are more important to me than my own comfort.’ That to me, speaks of the gospel in a way that nothing else can. Because that’s essentially what Jesus said, ‘You are more important to me than my own comfort.’”
• Alex’s definition of cancel culture: “We decide that somebody is not worthy of listening to or valuing at all because of one small part of who they are or what they believe.”
• “We believe that being ‘in a conversation’ means we must endorse the conversation. And we don’t. That’s not a conversation, that’s a dictatorship.”
• “That is part of seeking out His [God’s] goodness. To say, ‘I’m going to stand in awe and wonder that you are the God of all things. You are the God of everything and you know and I don’t know.’”

Verses: 

• “Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37–39 (NIV) 
• “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Links: 

• God Hears Her website: https://www.godhearsher.org/
• God Hears Her newsletter sign-up: https://www.godhearsher.org/signup
• Subscribe on iTunes! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/god-hears-her-podcast/id1511046507?utm_source=applemusic&utm_medium=godhearsher&utm_campaign=podcast
• Visit Alexandra Kuykendall’s website: https://alexandrakuykendall.com/
• Check out Alexandra’s book Seeking Out Goodness: https://amzn.to/3razt5O 
• Providence Network: a resource for people in Denver, Colorado. https://providencenetwork.org/ 
• Alexandra’s Instagram: alexandrakuykendall
• Elisa’s Instagram: elisamorganauthor
• Eryn’s Instagram: eryneddy