Ep 222: A Honeymoon Baby and Homebirth with Kelly Benner

When you get pregnant on your wedding night and thrown into prenatal decision-making a little sooner than expected, what kinds of decisions do you make?   And this week we're speaking with my friend and student, Kelly Benner.    We'll learn about how Kelly and her husband Ian were thrown straight out of wedding prep and straight into baby prep.   It was such a joy and an honor to work with Kelly inside of The HBC-- where we dig so much deeper into preparation than simply looking for coping techniques. If you're interested in taking a mentorship approach to pregnancy, homebirth and motherhood, I'd love to have you check out my free resource, the Achieve Your Empowered Homebirth mini-course. You'll get to see where we're missing the mark in terms of typical childbirth education, and what we can do to prepare instead. Send me a DM on instagram @happyhomebirthpodcast with just the word homebirth- all one word, no emojis or exclamation marks, however excited you may be, and you'll get access immediately to the course. Or you can click the link in the show notes and have it sent to your email.   Episode Roundup:

1. Sometimes our spouse is not going to be immediately on board. I always love to remind mothers that this is typically coming from a place of love, concern and protection, not just a strong desire to not support you in what you want. So what can we do? We can lovingly educate our spouses. Share with them what you're learning. Bring them alongside you. Invite them to learn with you. This facilitates bonding and encourages you to work together as a team.
2. Variations of birth don't have to be a big, dramatic, scary event. Kelly and her baby experienced a shoulder dystocia, but this was not a traumatic experience. In fact, her midwife was able to quickly free baby and Kelly was still left with the feeling that he "shot right out". Sometimes the biggest "what if's" happen.... and they still don't cause any issues.
3. And finally, the transformation from maiden to mother is huge. This is caterpillar to butterfly stuff, and there are growing pains, just like there are in puberty. If we can walk into this experience supported and with an understanding of what's happening, we can be gentle with ourself and recognize that we're upgrading. I mean, how much nicer to have wings and drink nectar than to slowly amble around eating leaves? But, the transition is still very real. When we can acknowledge this and be supported by our spouse, family and friends, we end up with a strong, confident mother, even if the transition is still hard.

 

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