Melody Carlisle and Sabrina Bradley love romance and they do it out loud! Every Monday, these long-distance best friends recap romance novels from a comedic, intersectional feminist, sex-positive perspective.
If you’re itching for a BFF book club or just love raucous slumber party vibes, this is the show for you! Whether you’ve read the book or not, all are welcome! Giggling, tangents, and sincere joy abound.
The podcast Heaving Bosoms is created by Heaving Bosoms Productions, Bleav. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
HAPPY ST. VINCENT DAY!!!!! This year, we're celebrating Sebastian and Evie's first-born, the next St. Vincent, Gabriel and his neurodivergent QUEEN Pandora Ravenel!! This is part 2 of 4, so come back next week!
Make sure you're following @romancingthedata for her Lisa Kleypas tournament, and so much more to come!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first two books in The Ravenel series by Lisa Kleypas!! COLD-HEARTED RAKE and MARRYING WINTERBOURNE, which are the two books before THIS book!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
It's time to celebrate St. Vincent Day, HBs! And this year, we're going all in with Sebastian and Evie's first-born, the current St. Vincent, Gabriel and his neurodivergent QUEEN Pandora Ravenel!!
Make sure you're following @romancingthedata for her Lisa Kleypas tournament, and so much more to come!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first two books in The Ravenel series by Lisa Kleypas!! COLD-HEARTED RAKE and MARRYING WINTERBOURNE, which are the two books before THIS book!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're back with part 2 of NEVER LOVE A HIGHLANDER by Maya Banks!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: jumping into Highlander romance! Send recs!
Mel: the movie Pitch Perfect! What a banger! She totally forgot how great and feel-good that movie is!
This week we're sponsored by MARIN IN THE MOONLIGHT by AE Merriweather! Imagine Succession as a Little Mermaid retelling and set the whole thing in a theme park. There's fake dating, chosen family, a reformed bad boy.... Get your copy now!! B&N, Amazon
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first two books in The Highlander series by by Maya Banks!! The first two books before THIS book!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We've got NEVER LOVE A HIGHLANDER by Maya Banks for you this week! It's Highlander Times with a feminist icon heroine and the damaged guy who can't help his fascination with her. But he's only marrying her to do his brother a solid. Really! It has nothing to do with her fiery hair and even more fiery personality. Seriously, believe him!
This week we're sponsored by MARIN IN THE MOONLIGHT by AE Merriweather! Imagine Succession as a Little Mermaid retelling and set the whole thing in a theme park. There's fake dating, chosen family, a reformed bad boy.... Get your copy now!! B&N, Amazon
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first two books in The Highlander series by by Maya Banks!! The first two books before THIS book!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
We're back and these two hot parents are making ago of it! Enjoy the conclusion of GOING DOWN EASY by Erin Nicholas!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: living her best gender queer life at a wedding this weekend! Plus, suspenders over belts EVERY TIME!!!! SUSPENDERS FOREVER.
Mel: Life hack - making up silly songs to get your kids to do hard things and then using them on yourself, too! If you need teeth-brushing motivation, sing the following lyrics to the tune of Dancing Queen by ABBA: "Brushing Queen, teeth so clean, look at the bright white sheen, ah-ah!"
This week we're sponsored by:
AIRHEAD: A Hartigans Totally '80s Hot RomCom by Avery Flynn! The Meet-Cute fans of her Hartigans series have been begging for is FINALLY here! We've fallen in love with Frank Senior and Katie while watching their brood's love stories and now we get their story!!!
The Happily Ever After Society photo book! Support this project and get a BEAUTIFUL photo book with portraits and interviews of over 40 of the biggest authors in romance. You've got TWO more days to back this project!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on a few books in the Knight Miscellany series by Gaelen Foley!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
OOOooooooohhhh it's time to head down to the Big Easy in GOING DOWN EASY by Erin Nicholas! It's Single Parent Times in this spicy contemporary. This book was simultaneously the least realistic and MOST REAL book and we had a blast the whole time.
Bonus Content: we changed the schedule to accommodate Mel's dirt delivery, both pals will overlook A LOT for a partner that gets us flowers semi-regularly, ghosting after moving to the same city, how to treat a lady at her WORK JOB, and so much more!
This week we're sponsored by:
AIRHEAD: A Hartigans Totally '80s Hot RomCom by Avery Flynn! The Meet-Cute fans of her Hartigans series have been begging for is FINALLY here! We've fallen in love with Frank Senior and Katie while watching their brood's love stories and now we get their story!!!
The Happily Ever After Society photo book! Support this project and get a BEAUTIFUL photo book with portraits and interviews of over 40 of the biggest authors in romance. You've got TWO more days to back this project!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on a few books in the Knight Miscellany series by Gaelen Foley!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's part 2 of BARED TO YOU by Sylvia Day! These two are stubbornly committed to this courtship and we're all along for the ride. Wheeeeeeee!
Content Warning for discussions of stalking, childhood sexual abuse, miscarriage, tricky parental relationships, and vulgar showings of wealth (lol).
Lady Loves
Sabrina: greek yogurt with maple syrup for a tasty, healthy treat!Melody: This post on social media! Tell us all your whimsical little habits that entertain and delight you!
This week's sponsors:
The Happily Ever After Society Kickstarter! Pledge to support this BEAUTIFUL coffee table book celebrating and spotlighting romance and the authors who bring it to life through author portraits and interviews, cinematic photo spreads, and essays about the genre. The campaign ends on March 20th, so don't delay!!
The Zory App! Download this interactive reading experience to discover more content from your favorite books, or to make the outcome YOUR choice!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next few books in the Sea Sand Warlords series by Ursa Dax!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! This week Mel has a thesis statement and she's not afraid to use it! But also, it's so tired in here as the pals recap BARED TO YOU by Sylvia Day. It's the first of FIVE books following the same couple and it's very reminiscent of the 50 Shades franchise. This book is BONKERS and we had a reluctant good time.
Content Warning for discussions of stalking, childhood sexual abuse, miscarriage, tricky parental relationships, and vulgar displays of wealth (lol).
Episode Sponsors
The Happily Ever After Society Kickstarter! Pledge to support this BEAUTIFUL coffee table book celebrating and spotlighting romance and the authors who bring it to life through author portraits and interviews, cinematic photo spreads, and essays about the genre. The campaign ends on March 20th, so don't delay!!
The Zory App! Download this interactive reading experience to discover more content from your favorite books, or to make the outcome YOUR choice! Get a FREE book using code HB2025!!!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next few books in the Sea Sand Warlords series by Ursa Dax!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
We're back with part 2, recapping Egotistical Puckboy by Eden Finley and Saxon James!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: not writing something down and then REMEMBERING IT!!!! What a revelation.
Mel: the Valentine's Day card Michael got for her from Pale Fox Designs! Also, having a family love you with all of your quirks. And taking credit for remembering a holiday when it was your BFF who originally remembered it.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next few books in the Puckboys series by Eden Finley and Saxon James!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's enthusiastic gremlin hour over here at HBHQ because we're recapping Egotistical Puckboy by Eden Finley and Saxon James! It's book one in a series both pals INHALED with glee. They're basically honorary members of the Queer Collective (don't believe Tripp, it's a thing).
Bonus Content: Mel is ON ONE this episode. It's all gremlin all the time.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next few books in the Puckboys series by Eden Finley and Saxon James!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's part 2 of DARKFEVER by Karen Marie Moning with bff of the pod Rebecca!
Bonus Content: double bucket syndrome, no sneaky leakage, why has no one gotten Mel a Conservatory?, MAYBE a forehead kiss, being muzzled about glitter dragons, and so much more!
Don't miss Rebecca's cozy, steamy contemporary romances! She writes as Lynn Camden and she's not to be missed!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next few books in the Sea Sand Warlords series by Ursa Dax!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're here with bff of the pod Rebecca to recap DARKFEVER by Karen Marie Moning!
Bonus Content: Sabrina doesn't know how to feel about Mac, Rebecca will NOT share with the class (until she does!), fashion times with the pals, and so much more!
SPOILER WARNING: Rebecca shares a BIG spoiler about the series starting at 56:54 and ending at 1:00:49.
Don't miss Rebecca's cozy, steamy contemporary romances! She writes as Lynn Camden and she's not to be missed!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next few books in the Sea Sand Warlords series by Ursa Dax!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Here's part 2 of THE DUKE by Gaelen Foley! Our Duke and reluctant courtesan are getting so much closer!
Content Warning: we talk fairly in-depth about a sexual assault and the character's journey to healing and regaining her power.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: the game Fog of Love! So fun!
Mel: her first snapdragon seedling just sprouted!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the last 2 books in the Famous series by Eden Finley!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're recapping THE DUKE by Gaelen Foley! It's a Duke and an unlikely courtesan teaming up to do some psychological warfare on a creep! What's a better foundation for an HEA?!
Content Warning: we talk fairly in-depth about a sexual assault and the character's journey to healing and regaining her power.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the last 2 books in the Famous series by Eden Finley!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're back with part 2 of THE OPPOSITE OF YOU by Rachel Higginson!
Content warning for discussions of domestic abuse, coercion, grooming, cancer diagnosis of a parent, and the death of a parent in one character's past.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Just a spoonful of powdered sugar will make a Sabrina super happy... aaaaaaand cement your mouth shut for half an hour #shrugemoji #worthit #joy
Melody: Visualize the thing that you're super excited about! Either in your brain or on paper! Mel can't wait to garden and so when she can't move all of her accidental wood chips, she's mapping out all the plants she's going to grow this summer!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next 3 books in the Opposites Attract series by Rachel Higginson!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! I hope you're ready to whet your appetites (on so many levels) because we're recapping THE OPPOSITE OF YOU by Rachel Higginson! It's enemies-to-lovers between two hot chefs and we loved it so much that we immediately read the rest of the series!! That's on our Patreon and Apple Subscription this Friday! We also have a really meaningful discussion about experiencing domestic abuse and the healing journey afterwards.
Content warning for discussions of domestic abuse, coercion, grooming, cancer diagnosis of a parent, and the death of a parent in one character's past.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the next 3 books in the Opposites Attract series by Rachel Higginson!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's part 2 of THE DEVIL'S LUCK by Eris Adderly! In which the heroine comes into her own?
Just like part 1, we'll be discussing slavery, non-con, dub-con, coercion, sexual assault, straight up on-page R words, the captive/captor trope, general violence against women, other miscellaneous violence, and more.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first 2 books in the Famous series by Eden Finley!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We've got a dark MFM historical pirate romance for you! THE DEVIL'S LUCK by Eris Adderly is a certified bodice ripper, so get ready for discussions of slavery, non-con, dub-con, coercion, sexual assault, straight up on-page R words, the captive/captor trope, general violence against women, other miscellaneous violence, and more. But, you know, it's also hot... and an HEA? Mel didn't love it and Sabrina whimsied hard in the name of enjoying book. You know, the usual! This is part 1; you get part 2 tomorrow!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first 2 books in the Famous series by Eden Finley!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
We're finishing up THE CORNERSTONE by Kate Canterbary! Turns out, Mel liked it way more than she thought at first. Vibrations are set on weird!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first 5 book in the Fated Mates of the Sea Sand Warrior series!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of THE CORNERSTONE by Kate Canterbary! She's a type A control freak, he's a gregarious Navy SEAL, and their banter is VICIOUS. Delish!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first 5 book in the Fated Mates of the Sea Sand Warrior series!!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Kimberly Lemming and Alexis, Keeper of the Lore, are the LOTHAIRE lovers we need in these dark times!
Read Kim's new book I GOT ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND NOW I'M TRAPPED IN A ROM COM now!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a January 2025 Reading Roundup!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Kimberly Lemming and Alexis the Sword are here to recap LOTHAIRE by Kresley Cole with us!! Our morally gray king with questionable mental health is here!!!!!!!
Read Kim's new book I GOT ABDUCTED BY ALIENS AND NOW I'M TRAPPED IN A ROM COM now!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a January 2025 Reading Roundup!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! If you WANT an explanation for the 2025 Reading Embrace Categories, this is the episode for you!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the last 4 books in the Necessary Evils series by Onley James!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's finally time to celebrate everyone who did our 2024 Reading Embrace! Come into our bosoms and BE ENSCONCED IN LOVE AND LIGHT AND BLANKET BURRITOS AND RICE BEAN BAGS!!!!!!!!!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the last 4 books in the Necessary Evils series by Onley James!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're back with ANY DUCHESS WILL DO by Tessa Dare! We restart our tale right after the library finger-b*ng, and these two are convinced that they only have until the end of the week. Will he gut his BFF for this woman??
Content warning: discussions of infant death and mentions of miscarriage.
Bonus Content: Mel just dropped her family off at the airport, Mel and Sabrina "haven't even been railed yet" (or ever?), Sabrina found the ultimate tax-deductible ass, and we love every blue-blooded vein in someone's body pounding in desire for us!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: get you some watercolor markers if that's what will help you create the art of your dreams!
Mel: is it 1am? Sure. But do you need some brownies? Probs. Make them!!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first 4 books in the Necessary Evils series by Onley James!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Hey HBs! We're here to recap ANY DUCHESS WILL DO by Tessa Dare! It's an Englandtimes book featuring a sad, broken Duke, his desperate mother, and the serving girl who will change them all forever.
Bonus Content: Mel's got a mesakkah dick on her phone screen now, Sabrina learned about screenshots a long time ago, Sabrina has special feelings about stickers, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Wear the silly costume! Be a shrimp! Do it!!
Mel: Call an audible! The sportsball kind, that is. If something changes, go with the flow and make it a two-parter!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're doing a Quickie on the first 4 books in the Necessary Evils series by Onley James!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Hey HBs! It's time for part 2! Jacob has decided to put his juvenile pranks behind him and make things right. Maybe he'll even do a little bit of a woo on her! Throw in a secret identity reveal, a hotel breach worthy of a cat burglar, and a pubic declaration of love and you've got an excellent second act!
Bonus Content: Mel can't get over hotel event logistics, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Rearrange your space! It'll give you a whole new perspective.
Sabrina: Instead of doing New Year's resolutions that will inevitably make you feel terrible, make resolutions that don't suck! Like "pasta quest," where you eat as many different pasta shapes as you can by the end of the year!
Remember to send in your READING EMBRACES!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're recapping DREAMS OF A DARK WARRIOR by Kresley Cole!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
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Hey HBs! We're here recapping THE MATZAH BALL by Jean Meltzer! From the summer camp backstory, to the grown-up pranks, the hijinks abound in this Hanukkah romance!
Bonus Content: Mel's friends know how to treat her bum, Sabrina's vendetta against poo-pourri, only ONE of these pals needs to be better about using the mail system, there's a LOT of horny internal monologue for a closed-door romance, and so much more!
Remember to send in your READING EMBRACES!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're recapping DREAMS OF A DARK WARRIOR by Kresley Cole!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Y'all. It's Navy SEAL Times this Christmas with THE NAVY SEAL'S CHRISTMAS BRIDE by Cora Seton! We've lovingly renamed it THE NAVY SEAL'S GENDER ESSENTIALIST CAMPAIGN OF HARRASSMENT TO GET A CHRISTMAS BRIDE. Get ready for gender essentialism to the max, competing for HONOR, and acrobatic schmexy times that BLEW OUR MINDS. We call this book
Bonus Content: we thought we had seen it all, salmon ladders, Sabrina's delusional thoughts about her physical capabilities, American Ninja Warrior courses, men needing to be coddled at home, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Both Pals: sometimes you just need to ignore your responsibilities together and read the book you HAVE to read! Light your responsibilities on fire! Together! BFF enabling for the win! Also, check out FALSE COMEBACK by Lily Mayne because we're obsessed.Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're recapping THE PERFECT GIFT by Clio Evans!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Happy Christmas week, HBs! We're bringing you two holiday novellas this week. Today is HAVE YOURSELF A BILLIONAIRE FOR CHRISTMAS by Tracey Livesay!
Bonus Content: Taylor Swift's private jet, "Come here, you stupid ducky" AKA translating nursery rhyme lyrics, pathetic blanket vulvas, and so much more!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're recapping THE PERFECT GIFT by Clio Evans!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
HBs!!!! We're back for [art 2 of THE GOVERNESS AND THE ORC by Finley Fenn, the 7th book in the Orc Sworn series. When we left off, Rathgar had just gotten Geva to be very vulnerable in front of all of his kin and then he called her easy and cheap. I still don’t think I’ve recovered. Reconciliation seems like a really big ask, but Finley Fenn has convinced us of more in the past!
Lady Loves:
Mel: sleeping in separate rooms on occasion! Sometimes even the daintiest of ladies snore and their partner might benefit from a good night of sleep. There's no shame in it!
Sabrina: Adding a protein shake to coffee as the creamer to make sure you're packing in some macronutrients.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're recapping DEMON FROM THE DARK by Kresley Cole!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
HBs!!!! We're back! Yeah, we're back at Orc (Splash) Mountain! Mel and Sabrina are recapping THE GOVERNESS AND THE ORC by Finley Fenn, the 7th book in her Orc Sworn series. Geva Okoro is a damn good governess working for terrible people. And then she's forced to help an orc pirate steal all their stuff! Instead of trying to flee and hide as a Black woman in a very white region, this orc offers to hire her for a fake relationship! Y'all. This is the book in which Finley Fenn took come play to the next level for Melody. Scent is VERY IMPORTANT to orcs! Part 2 is tomorrow!
Bonus Content: Sabrina is back in this orc hole, realizing some childhood memories were actually dreams, Orc Sworn Next Gen requests, orcs can smell ANYthing (unless they don't), the pals explain their clan identification, yes we are Orc Sworn anthropologists, and so much more!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, we're recapping DEMON FROM THE DARK by Kresley Cole!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're back with part 2 of GET A LIFE, CHLOE BROWN by Talia Hibbert!
Bonus content: first kiss PSA, CPTSD reactions, and so much more!
Lady Loves
Sabrina: Pattern Keeper! It's an android app and it will change your crafting game.
Mel: it's hot pot season! Having friends over for a night of good food in the cold weather is wonderful!
We’ll be back next week with our recap of The GOVERNESS AND THE ORC by Finley Fenn!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, December 13th, we're doing a Watch Party at 8pm ET of OUR LITTLE SECRET! The newest addition to the Lindsay Lohan Cinematic Universe!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here to recap GET A LIFE, CHLOE BROWN by Talia Hibbert! It's one of their favorite contemporary romance series, so get ready for a lot of cackling and swooning!
Bonus Content: is Sabrina a MapQuest person now? (down with the "fancy sky computers!"), having someone up your email game just by being incredibly clever charming, great fibromyalgia rep, being too much and not enough, and so much more!
Content Warning: discussions of chronic illness and pain, discussions of domestic abuse.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON! This Friday, December 13th, we're doing a Watch Party at 8pm ET of OUR LITTLE SECRET! The newest addition to the Lindsay Lohan Cinematic Universe!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
The pals are here to finish up Hot Frosty! Is there a murder? Yes. Is there still an HEA? Allegedly!!
Bonus Content: eggs in nog, and so much more!
Lady Love
The whole group: do the dumb, or low priority thing when you need to!!!
Content warning for discussions of possible child predation, racial dynamics, police brutality, and immigration.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! Nic is here to chat with Mel and Sabrina about the new Netflix sensation Hot Frosty! In this heartwarming film, a very chiseled baby snowman eludes the police while teaching a local widow how to love again.
Bonus Content: V saying "alright, big boy" to her swimming instructor, Nic is our Christmas movie consultant, this movie was made in the spiritual breakroom of all other Christmas movies, that's a baby snowman, defund the police, and so much more!
Content warning for discussions of possible child predation, racial dynamics, police brutality, and immigration.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Part two of our Thanksgiving book, BOYFRIEND by Sarina Bowen, gets HOT AND HEAVY!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Happy Thanksgiving, American HBs! Get stoked for part 1 of BOYFRIEND by Sarina Bowen!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey y'all! We're here for part 2 of BULL MOON RISING by Ruby Dixon! Aspeth has been discovered by her dastardly ex-fiancée and it's ALL HANDS ON DECK to save her home! The found family in this book really made our hearts soar just as much as the rutting in this book made our eyes bulge. Awoooga!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: a heated mattress topper! It's soooo cozy for when you jump into bed. But be sure the dogs get their side warmed, too, OR ELSE.
Mel: IT'S CHRISTMAS CACTUS SEASON, Y'ALL! My christmas cactus is in full bloom and it's amaaaaaaaaaazing.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're recapping BULL MOON RISING by Ruby Dixon and we couldn't be happier! This is part one of our foray into a new corner of the Dixonverse where magic is outlawed and Conquest Moons disrupt everything. We've got a determined heroine who's undercover to save her life and home and a minotaur hero who cannot catch a break in the run up to the next celestial f*ckfest. A marriage of convenience will obviously solve everything!
Bonus Content: Mel's in the doghouse, Sabrina can't get enough of the author's note, "slightly smaller" rings, and so much more!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! This is part 2 of FRISCO'S KID by Suzanne Brockmann, the third book in the Tall, Dark, and Dangerous series! We hope you're ready for a little bit of action and more emotional growth!
Bonus Content: getting nakie in the living room, "then I'll choose you," the miscommunication trope done with excellent communication, future purveyors of toilet wine, paranormal creatures in regular human bodies, booze cabins, getting smacked in the face with '90s technology, and so much more!
Lady Loves
Sabrina: donate clothes you don't wear anymore and get the closet of your dreams! Wear what you want RIGHT NOW, not 15 years ago.
Mel: our new technique to help with tantrums and processing emotions! We've been offering our 5 year old ice packs to hold against her chest to bring her back to her body when she starts spiraling on negative thoughts and emotions. It's been helping!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Happy Veteran's Day to all our American Listeners! It’s our annual Veterans Day episode and we decided to continue our journey through the Tall, Dark, and Dangerous series.
Today is part 1 of FRISCO'S KID by Suzanne Brockmann! We were hoping for similar ridiculous antics to the first two books, but we got a very sincere recovery story with the following content warnings: debilitating injury and aggressive rehabilitation, disability, alcohol use and abuse and alcoholism, child abuse and neglect, and we discuss the potential suicidal ideation of a character. The good news is that, overall, we liked book!
Bonus Content: Mel is irreverent about celebrities again, Sabrina found out some sad news about Tupac, a tragic lack of shenanigans and malarkey, Frisco just needs to be a Yoda, we've got another sexy gardener, preserving toxic masculinity, making aggressive love to...., and so much more!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
HBs, we get to spend more time in the zany universe of Lily Mayne's Goliaths of Wrestling! Hot dad bod human Taylor and unabashed perv + style icon monster Holt can't get enough of each other and we can't get enough of them! When you add addictive side characters and truly hilarious drunken shenanigans, you get a masterpiece.
Bonus content: Sabrina encounters another foot scene that doesn't bother her, and that's very concerning? Is she becoming desensitized to her aversion and rewriting her synapses with laughter??
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Going to England to be there as one of her best friends got married!!!
Mel: Going to see The Wild Robot in theaters with the kids! It was her 5 year old's first theater experience and she cried almost the whole movie as she sat on her lap.
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
HBs! We have discovered IMPROMPTU MATCH by Lily Mayne and we'll never be the same again! This is part one, in which we meet depressed and unfulfilled human Taylor Hough. He works a job he hates, he's given up everything he loves for a boyfriend who left him for a hippie, and there's no end in sight to his dearth of contentment. Until he accidentally gets mistaken for a stripper and he enters a secret world of sexy, wrestling monsters! Y'all. This book is SO funny, SO sweet, and SO hot. It's ridiculous. Make sure to come back for part 2 as well!
Bonus Content: nudes, dick pics, snapchat f*ckboys, Monster Dong WrestleMania, and so much more!
You can watch this episode on our youtube channel as well!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
It's Halloween week and the characters in BEWITCHING THE BOSS by Jessa Kane were entirely too unafraid! Their fear bones are broken, but other important bones aren't! We've got a party-planning stalker and a virgin who has taken a vow of misery, but is DELIGHTED when he realizes he's being stalked. Our jaws where on the floor the whole time and we couldn't stop gasping. Whew!
Bonus Content: NO TIME FOR BANTER, Sabrina's live-updates to a special friend throughout her read, This Duke Is A Virgin, So! Much! Dirty! Talk!, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: the youtubers CrackingTheCryptic and Rangsk for all your sudoku strategy needs!
Mel: roasting pumpkin seeds after carving jack-o-lanterns with your kids!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Happy Halloween week, HBs! We're celebrating with an accidental omegaverse summoning with KNOT TODAY SATAN by Calliope Stewart! Turns out, the devil is an alpha and the secret ingredient is slick.... goddess bless romance.
Bonus Content: assuming your niche interest is common knowledge, Mel was reading signs that weren't there, coordinating scents and tastes, if they had to choose a fictional world to live in Sabrina would choose omegaverse, and so much more!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
We're wrapping up our 7th Podiversary with a torturous session of Would You Rather and we round out the episode with two Quickies for you!
Mel recaps MARROW by Trisha Wolfe and Brynn Weaver and Sabrina recaps SEXTING THE SILVERFOX by K.C. Crowne!
Thank you, Listener! For 7 years we've shared books, squees, tears, hard limits, giggles, and we wouldn't trade any of it. The HB community is amazing and we couldn't do any of this without you!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Hey HBs! It’s time to pat ourselves on the back, update our various watches, and figure out some would you rathers. It’s our 7th podiversary celebration!!!
Get ready for our annual State of the Podcast, HB Authors, Hard Limits Watch, Kink Watch, HB Etiquette, Rabbit Hole Watch, and more!
Tomorrow we'll be back to torture each other with more Would You Rather scenarios AND delight in two bonus Quickies! Get STOKED!!!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Hey HBs! We're here to finish up Nikolai and Myst's tale with fated hostage-taking, forced orgasms, and misunderstandings of unfinished memories! Get stoked!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: 360 degree rolling suitcases. What a revelation!
Mel: #plantdad instagram (also #plantdaddy). And specifically @theplantpapi. Such a good follow!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! We're doing our first re-release since Sabrina became Mel's full-time partner-in-crime! This is part 1 of THE WARLORD WANTS FOREVER by Kresley Cole!
Since we announced that our next Patreon Deep Dive is going to be the first 10ish books in the Immortals After Dark series, starting at book 3, we've had a bunch of Listener saying "but what about books 1 and 2?!" The answer to that is Sabrina and I started this journey over a year ago on the main feed! So, this week we're re-releasing our recap of book one! We've got two immortals, one femme fatale, one warlord hot dummy, 1 five year boner, fated hostage-takings, savage goodbyes, memorable reunions, VERY questionable/dubious/non-existent consent (also enthusiastic consent), and so much more! Could this be viewed as problematic? Sure. Did we super love it? Very yes.
Bonus content: series hopping and existential crises, Forebears/Four Bears, brains while reading, noodle fuckery, and more.
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
MERCH! Teepublic, Chicaloo Kate, Redbubble, Etsy
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
We're back with the second half of THE KING by Nana Malone! Our plucky secret agents are on their very first field mission and (bom chicka wow wooow) they're posing as newlyweds! Don't worry, they commit to the bit.
Bonus Content: Georg and Dreorg, forehead kisses, red hot narration, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Having an endless pile of bullshit to talk about with your besties!
Mel: Sabrina and I are doing accountability meetings we're calling our Becoming Champions time! Mel got the phrase from Arden Myrin from the podcast Will You Accept This Rose and repurposed it to give ourselves some structure!
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's our first Nana Malone book! THE KING is book 1 of the Gentleman Rogue series and we were stoked to jump into contemporary spy times. What we didn't prep ourselves for? AN AMNESIA PLOT!!!!
Bonus Content: Mel has a yuck that goes ow, Mel DID manage to swerve a little Mikey after our Magic Mike XXL watch party, Sabrina read the prequel The Heir and Mel did not, John Hartley and Leila Allarie SLAY this audiobook, Lachlan is wolf-shifter-coded, 37 year old knees, and so much more!
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE and come back tomorrow for part 2!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs!! The pals are back with HOW THE MARQUESS WAS WON by Julie Anne Long! When we left off, Jules had asked Phoebe to become his mistress and she turned him down HARD. Now these two crazy kids are, unbeknownst to either of them, both heading to London for more balls and other EnglandTimes ish. While Phoebe basks in the glow of being the crowd favorite, he discovers a dastardly wager is behind it. Also, he still needs to marry her friend and why can't she just understand that?!
Bonus Content: lost cats, pronouncing "Pekingese" (and discovering how to spell it), more trend setting, doing a big She's All That on her, the Antarctic, pelisses: the trench coats of EnglandTimes, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: baby powder instead of dry shampoo! There's, shockingly, no noticeable difference.
Mel: having a friend like Sabrina who will read out of order even though it HURTS HER to make the recording. It's such a huge act of love!
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs!! Mel and Sabrina are recapping HOW THE MARQUESS WAS WON by Julie Anne Long! We've got a lowly school teacher who is drafted to be the paid companion of a former pupil and a Marquess who has a plan, gosh darnit! And it does NOT include becoming enamored of his hopeful fiancée's pal! But there's a country party, an opera singer, a forest ramble, and a final dance party that will prove too much for him to resist temptation!
Bonus Content: more texting faux pas, HUGE growth from Sabrina that will never be repeated, another stoic hero who's catnip, naming characters with word association and phonetic slides, cunning linguists, universal American experiences, beaver/raccoon hats, and so much more!
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE and come back tomorrow for part 2!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs!! We're back with part two of TRIPLE SEC by TJ Alexander! We jump right back in with a snowed-in vacation with only one fireplace! And that fireplace is utilized BEAUTIFULLY!
Bonus Content: rich people shit, useless Tops, gendered vs. neutral terms, a not-so-survival trope, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: checking out movies from the library and, more specifically, WAITRESS the musical! This is one of Mel's favorite shows of all time; Sara Bareilles wrote the score and her harmonies have always slayed her! Family movie time turned into Mel quietly crying into Ember's hair because everything was so beautiful.
Sabrina: interactions with HBs! HB Devon came through with some really great genetic statistics in answer to our call during our ep on A HUNGER LIKE NO OTHER and HB Emily gave Sabrina a masterclass on the British upper crust during a chat about the Maiden Lane series. HBS ARE THE BEST.
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast at gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here recapping TRIPLE SEC by TJ Alexander! It's a contemporary, queer, polyamorous romance that had them chatting for more than 3 hours (seriously, Mel cut over an hour of their nonsense. You're WELCOME.). We've got a polyamorous married couple, a certified and embittered lesbian, and a whole bunch of amazing queer and poly rep! And y'all, Sabrina has never been so worked up about a fictional character; she reached a new level.
Bonus Content: Sabrina gets got by IG marketing (this time in England), Mel finds a make-believe seggsual partner she probs can't with, the birth of the Chewbacca pin-up, the pals impart some classic HB etiquette, and so much more!
Watch this episode on YOUTUBE and come back tomorrow for part 2!!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast at gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! It's time to get to the spicy scenes in BUTCHER & BLACKBIRD by Brynn Weaver!! And whooweee did they deliver. In this second half, we've got a corpse puppet show (is that a tag now?), some excellent hurt/comfort into schmecksy times, and the most romantic proposal in the universe.... if you're a serial unaliver loves an empty eye socket. Which she is! So that works out.
Bonus Content: surprise piercings, appetizers vs. feasts, Zippy Zac, and so much more!
Don't forget that this Friday is our Patreon Watch Party! We'll be devouring Magic Mike XXL, so strap in and strap on! This week our bonus episode is our August/September Reading Roundup, which really turned into a 7 Brides for 7 Alien Brothers series quickie.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Ms. Moody Money! After some life and financial changes, Sabrina wanted to make sure she was on track to be responsible and productive with her money. HB Kate at Ms. Moody Money was exactly the expert help she needed!!! Hard recommend.
Mel: Sometimes you do need things to get organized. Mel bit the bullet and bought a wall bike stand and some heavy duty shelves. As a result, she can park in her garage again!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast at gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here to squeal about two serial killers finding their HEA in BUTCHER & BLACKBIRD by Brynn Weaver! From the best captive meet-cute to dinner disasters, this book is a fizzy delight.
Bonus Content: personal piercing TikTok, the Necessary Evils series by Onley James, coding for murderers, chainsaw noises, and so much more!
Want to support the show? Rate and review us on your favorite podcast app! It super helps the algorithm connect us to new listeners.
Want more of us? Check out our PATREON!
Credits:
Theme Music: Brittany Pfantz
Art: Author Kate Prior (her newest release MATED TO MY EX is out now!!)
Want to tell us a story, ask about advertising, or anything else? Email: heavingbosomspodcast at gmail
Follow our socials:
Facebook group: the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult
The above contains affiliate links, which means that when purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage without costing you a penny more.
Hey HBs! Here is part 2 of THE UNDERTAKING OF HART AND MERCY by Megan Bannen! These enemies become lovers and then a third act death makes us lose our ever-loving minds. Buckle up!
Bonus Content: Sabrina is a #SherlockHolmes, Mel has to slow down on a beautiful parenting moment, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
01:31 Recap Resumes
01:06:02 Lady Loves
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Hey HBs! Today we're bringing you part 1 of THE UNDERTAKING OF HART AND MERCY by Megan Bannen! Mercy is trying to save her family's undertaking business and things would be a lot easier if a certain surly marshal would just leave her alone. Meanwhile, Hart is a demigod just trying to do his job and this bright and shiny undertaker has nothing but rain clouds for him. But a letter addressed by the heart brings these enemies together in the most unexpected way!
Bonus Content: Mel flails at Sabrina via text because she had TOO MANY FEELINGS about this book!
Tomorrow we'll be back with the conclusion of this wonderful book. Take this opportunity to add it to your TBR!
If you want both parts right now and without network ads, visit our Patreon page and sign up!
The above contains affiliate links, which means that by purchasing through them, the podcast gets a small percentage of the sale with no extra cost to you.
Hey y’all! We’re popping into your feed with an exciting announcement: Heaving Bosoms is joining the BLEAV Network! (pronounced “believe”) First, HBs: THANK YOU for all your support! We got on their radar because you listen; without you, we’re shouting into the void. Y’all are so badass.
We’re really excited about this next phase of Heaving Bosoms because there’s so much that happens behind the scenes and having the support of a network can be incredibly helpful. We want to grow the HB reader community, introduce more people to the joy of romance, and spend our time focusing on the recaps we deliver, instead of the nitty gritty admin that makes podcasts go.
So! There will be a few changes for the foreseeable future:
As a result, we’re also revamping our Patreon offerings! Everyone who is a member of the Consent Boner tier and up by Wednesday, 9/11 at 12pm ET will be grandfathered in with their current benefits PLUS same day and ad free episodes. After that, we’re rolling out new tiers that give you more power to mix and match to get the bennies you really want. Follow our socials for more info on that!
One thing we can promise, though, is that the show isn’t changing. We still have complete creative control, so don’t expect us to suddenly be staid and classy. You’ll be disappointed!
Keep being a Badass!
Melody and Sabrina
Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are mad and they are recapping IT HAD TO BE YOU by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. This is a doozy! Good news, though, Mel's bringing back the custom intros... so that's fun!
Content Warnings: episode includes discussions of sexual assault, including in young childhood, on-page violent rape, statutory rape, rampant misogyny, malicious thinness, kink shaming, slut shaming, fat shaming, Madonna/Whore Complex, racism, and more.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: having a group of badass, wonderful friends who will lift you up and remind you how you've advocated for yourself in the past after a terrible experience with a medical doctor.
Mel: deciding to never read another SEP book on pod or off. Whatever author shows you that you can't trust them to take care of you as a reader, don't read them anymore! Romancelandia is huge and gorgeous and there's something out there for everyone!
Time Stamps:
00:00 - Intro
02:30 - Banter, context, and content warnings
21:38 - Recap starts
02:27:22 - Lady Loves
HBs, we're back with more Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole! The second (first?) book in the series, A HUNGER LIKE NO OTHER, did not disappoint! This book starts at 11 and then refuses to simmer down. Get ready for big feelings, incredulity, and enthusiastic cackling (though, you should be used to that by now). There were so many times when Mel thought the hero could not be redeemed and somehow Kresley Cole pulls it off beautifully. She's a wizard!
TW: short mention of suicidal ideation and brief conversations about dubious consent, non-consent, and coercion.
Bonus Content: Sabrina went to SteamyLit Con and she didn't ask Anita Kelly about London's cow story... but she might have mooed? (the jury is still out), gaslighting with beautiful cross stiches, "yes-and"ing friends with barnyard noises, gnawing your own leg off as the reader meet-cute, Emmaline is an Immortal Youth ^TM, "all the checks are cashed!", he's a sledge hammer wielded by a ticking time bomb, a Kresley Cole behind-the-back handy ^TM, picturing cartoon-mascot-wolf-action during the super hot werewolf schmex scenes (why brain?!), and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: dye your hair! Sabrina is finally going to have green hair again!
Melody: consider a front flip! Mel panic-purchased a one month membership to her local trampoline park to close out the summer with house-bound kids and SHE DID A FRONT FLIP for the first time in YEARS. It was so empowering! So fun! Your body can do shit you might not even know about anymore! So, just noodle on maybe doing that front flip at the next opportunity.
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Hey y'all! Mel and Sabrina are here with SORRY, BRO by Taleen Voskuni! It's a gorgeous sapphic contemporary between two Armenian-American women, one of whom is on a serious journey to self-discovery. This book weaves a beautiful love story within a rich tapestry of Armenian history and culture. It was GORGEOUS.
Bonus Content: Mel's son is the Pitbull of Baby Taming, it was a little hard for Mel to be in this heroine's brain, holy proposal from hell Batman!, the responsibility of a white person in an intercultural relationship, photobooth fumbles, stomachs falling out of butts, authors who have an ulterior motive of making the reader SO HUNGRY, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: all of you beautiful listeners who came to Sabrina's defense on that video snippet about icebergs that Mel didn't follow at all. You're the best!
Mel: When a kid comes up to you saying they saw a baby bear in your neighborhood but, don't worry, it was actually a gopher. Phew!
Guess what, y'all! We're on YOUTUBE!! Go subscribe!
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Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here with AVARITIA by Colette Rhodes! This series is much beloved by both of them and this book didn't disappoint. Plus, we've got a heroine that is 100% HMHB (Hot Mess HB). It's a grumpy and adorably delusional Shadow Daddy plus a sunshine, go-with-the-flow, sex-positive maximalist. We went into this book with the promise of tentacle restraints, somnophilia, and primal and, in the words of Sabrina, "EVERY! CHECK! WAS CASHED!"
Bonus Content: Mel has poison ivy on her face, making fashion out of red flags, Colette Rhodes calls out 100% of the Heaving Bosoms podcast, and so much more!
Lady Loves
Sabrina: Lavender lemonade on a hot summer day! Get some sugar-free lemonade and add some lavender syrup to it!
Mel: Mario Kart with the kids! Everyone is finally old enough to play together and it's been super fun!
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Hey HBs! We're here with a brand new historical era: Dickens' Times! Elizabeth Hoyt came out swinging with WICKED INTENTIONS, the first book in her Maiden Lane series. We've got a do-gooding heroine who needs cash for her orphanage, a bad boy aristocrat who needs entree into London's worst neighborhood, a murder mystery, a vigilante hero clown, and some BIG SWOONS. We're super into it.
Bonus Content: Mel is having legal dreams because we're in Dickens' Times and Bleak House left it's mark on her soul, new Times alert! Dickens' Times! Is there an urchin? Are people starving in the gutters? Are babies being rescued from the arms of their corpse mother? You might be in Dickens' Times!, atoning for your clitoris, filming with a gray filter to account for the soot and misery, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Microfiber gloves! Lots of people use them for dusting, but I like to use them to give my houseplants a periodic mashashge! I spray a little water on the leaves and then wipe them down while wearing my gloves to remove dust, promote shine, make sure they can photosynthesize efficiently, and know they're loved!
Sabrina: STORYGRAPH CHARTS ARE NOW EDITABLE!!!!!!!!!!! That's right, you can get your books and tags all organized and graphed and then you can fine-tune them!
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*Disclaimer: the above contains Amazon affiliate links. That means that if you click a link and decide to make a purchase the podcast will receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
It's been a minute since we've recapped an alien romance, and HERE WE ARE, HBs! ARTEK by Honey Phillips manages to be both Western Times and alien, which is hard to pull off. This slice-of-life Seven Brides for Seven Brothers retelling was a romp from beginning to end!
Bonus Content: Sabrina's Libby nemesis is still abusing her with book 2 of the Spymaster series, Mel can't remember alien names, NIMBYs try to ruin everything again (but fail!), we need this to be a smutty animated series, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: cross apply some skills to get yourself out of a dinner rut! Mel mixed things up by using her leftover rotisserie chicken in a pot pie instead of making soup again and she nailed it!
Sabrina: pick up that old hobby you forgot about! Sabrina loves having her nails done and wow did she dig out a box of all her nail supplies. So fun and fancy!
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Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here with LOVE & OTHER DISASTERS by Anita Kelly! This queer contemporary romance is set on an amateur cooking show. Dahlia is a divorcee who quit her job to be there and doesn't quite know how she'll pay rent if she doesn't win the $100k prize. Meanwhile, London is the show's first non-binary contestant, this is their national coming out declaration, and they want to use the money to start a non-profit to support queer kids where they live. They may be competitors, but they're attracting HARD from the first moment they (literally) bump into each other! Y'all, the gender, sexual orientation, and label representation in this book is AMAZING! We loved it.
Bonus Content: Sabrina gives us a #NemesisWatch 2024 update, the gals give dating advice to all the queer listeners out there (based on reading list data!), the gals want that cow story gosh darn it, Sabrina is the head of a Pinky-Heavy Household, and no one had to draft an angry spice level letter they would never (ever) send, and so much more!
Please check out today's sponsor:
A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME by Mary McMyne is out now in all formats, so go get this sapphic romantic fantasy historical set in Shakespeare Times!!!!!
Lady Loves
Mel: Hey, you know those half-finished projects that are languishing around your homestead? Getting them done is going to feel great! Mel had a fern she needed to divide and plant and hosting a 4th of July get-together was the perfect push to make it finally happen. Amazing!
Sabrina: Do you have a giant project hanging over your head that you're borrowing worries over? Just starting it helps SO MUCH! Slay that dragon, y'all.
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Hey HBs! We're here with the second half of THE SPYMASTER'S LADY by Joanna Bourne! Our couple is on a fall-in-love trek on foot all the way to London and boy does Annique feel guilty about being attracted to boy Grey and Robert... little does she know, they're the same bloke! Come with us as we finish our journey through spy times!
Bonus Content: Mel gets recognized by a mom at her school, the gals ruminate on tips of icebergs, Sabrina is an angry boomer about JUST GOOGLING IT, and so much more!
Please check out today's sponsor:
A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME by Mary McMyne comes out on July 16, so go preorder this sapphic romantic fantasy historical set in Shakespeare Times!!!!!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Return your library books via Hoopla and Libby when you're done, don't wait for the auto-return. Someone like Sabrina might be out there gnashing their teeth waiting for it.
Sabrina: pay attention to and celebrate the "little happies" in life. Does your Pineapple Bubbly tab say "hi u?" THAT'S ADORABLE.
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Hey HBs! We're here with THE SPYMASTER'S LADY by Joanna Bourne! It's great to be back in France Times with an extra dose of intrigue and nefarious plots! We meet Annique, a 19 year old lifelong spy and Grey, the second in command of all the British spies right after the French Revolution. They are undoubtedly enemies who can't trust each other, unless they find out they've got way more in common than either of them think. Except for killing. She doesn't kill on purpose, he'll kill anything no problem.
Bonus Content: Sabrina is a monster in a heat wave, Mel is familiar with Les Mis, ok?, Sabrina is being abused by another local Libby user (just RETURN the book when you're done!), Mel skipped straight to the third book, Annique is supremely competent, field surgery and hypnosis, cats on hot tin roofs, and so much more!
Thank you to this week's sponsors!
A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME by Mary McMyne comes out on July 16, so go preorder this sapphic romantic fantasy historical set in Shakespeare Times!!!!!
THE TREASURED ONE by Hannah Levin comes out tomorrow July 9, so be sure to go get this brand new romantasy quick quick!!!!!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Have fruit out! It makes snacking so much more healthy and delicious!
Sabrina: Nongshim Shin Black Instant Ramen! It's spicy and beef and delicious. Cook it as-is, or dress it up with fancy veg and eggs!
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Hey HBs! We're here with our first Nora Roberts book, THE VILLA! It's winerytimes and the Giambelli matriarch is here to shake up with corporate structure! But also intrigue and murder with no less than 3,000 characters. And in this head-hopping 3rd person book, everyone (and we mean EVERYONE) gets a POV moment. Plus, not one but two romances!
Bonus Content: Pebbling as a love language, Treat Lifestyle, whimsying math, and so much more!
A note on audio: Mel's audio is wonky in the first 40 mins of this episode, but vastly improves after that! So sorry, tech issues have been figured out for future eps.
Lady Loves:
Mel: Pebbling! Sometimes it's all I can manage.
Sabrina: Find a new routine when something's not working. S needed a new trigger to get her into "work mode" now that she's full-time WFH and putting on a tiny bit of makeup is helping her do that!
Thank you to this week's sponsor! A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME by Mary McMyne comes out on July 16, so go preorder this sapphic romantic fantasy historical set in Shakespeare Times!!!!!
Go bid on all your romance faves at Romancing the Vote 2024, including a chance to guest-host an episode!
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Hey HBs! Mel's here with gueesstttssss! BFFs of Mel and the pod Jenny Nordbak and Katee Robert (of Bonkers Romance) are here to recap the movie Challengers, starring the one and only Zendaya. Jenny and Mel had no idea what they were in for and BOY did this romantic psychological thriller deliver. It's so sexy! And messy! And mean! And baffling! And we loved it.
Just a quick note: Mel had some ridiculous audio and recording issues, so (even with a lot of intervention) the sound quality isn't up to our usual standards, but she worked hard to make the best of it and get you this excellent episode!
We're at the tail end of Bonkers' 2024 Kickstarter THE BLACK ROSE AUCTION, so don't miss it! They've curated 6 incredibly sexy fairytale retellings centered on an illicit auction with special edition books, swag, and so much more! The campaign ends on June 26th, 2024 at 5pm PST!
Lady Loves:
Jenny: Karen Marie Moning's upcoming release THE HOUSE ON WATCH HILL!
Katee: the horror romance THEN EARTH SWALLOWED OCEAN by Shiloh Sloane. Check the CWs because it's DARK and TWISTY and WTF!
Mel: The Ultimatum South Africa on Netflix and the Black Rose Auction! Seriously, go back the Kickstarter before it's too late!
Want more of Jenny and Katee? Visit their websites, subscribe to their newsletters, and follow on social media!
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Hey HBs! We're here with masterpiece of sorcery! Emma Hamm's WHISPERS OF THE DEEP took every single one of Sabrina's phobias and said we shall overcome with seggsy swooniness! It's a monster romance between a merman and a human deep, DEEP under the sea. Like, in the vast deep. He kidnaps her to get information that his people will use to destroy hers, he thinks every part of her body is disgusting, and this can only end in one of their deaths... unless she teaches him how to kiss! Get stoked, y'all.
Bonus Content: Mel takes sleep terrorism to new levels, Sabrina literally overcomes all of her worst fears for this book, and so much more!
Don't miss out on our Patreon-Only events! This Friday, June 21st, is our author hang with MA Wardell at 8pm EST! And NEXT Friday, June 28th, is our next watch party of the Lizzie McGuire Movie! Patrons at the $10 level and up get to attend live and everyone else can watch it back!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Audiobook Box Sets and Wood Chippers! Mel borrowed a legit-eat-everything-wood-chipper and used those hours outside with her noise-cancelling headphones to listen to audiobook box sets on Hoopla! Big thanks to Erika Wilde and Carly Phillips for their box sets of Made for the Mafia series, the Indecent series, and the Complete Book Boyfriend series. YOWZA!
Sabrina: The second book in this series SONG OF THE ABYSS. It's Daios's book!!!!!!
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Hey HBs! We're here with a contemporary sapphic romance! It's a fake relationship extravaganza with a buttoned-up couple's counselor and a cool, alt actor.
CW: Mel got really triggered by this book, so look out for discussions of disordered eating, diet culture, rampant fatphobia, and more.
Bonus Content: Mel cut her own hair!, where is all the roller skating the cover promised?, moaning in front of strangers in the workplace, and more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Cut your own hair and liberate your neck if it's hot! And DNF if you need to.
Sabrina: using technology to be a chaotic neutral gremlin. The person who did this is a champion.
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Hey HBs! We're back with another book we didn't know was part 1 of a 4 part series with the same couple. WHOOPS, but no regrets. BENEATH BLACK SAILS by Clare Sager is a historical fantasy pirate adventure with a famous pirate queen and the pirate hunter sent to take her down. This heroine is brash and fun and we can't get enough of her.
Bonus Content: we're hot messes who got suckered!, this dedication slayed us, this took Mel back to Dangerous Tides, he's the epitome and she's the definition, Sabrina drops the beans, Valor is the main character in all our stories, we're gonna riot, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: super duper freezing cold water. 'Tis the season!!!
Mel: THE BLACK ROSE AUCTION Kickstarter by Bonkers Romance! I decided to step away from the project this year, but Jenny and Katee have done AMAZING things with this collection of books! Each one is a fairytale retelling set at an illicit, underground auction and, y'all, they've leveled up. The art, swag, and book design are so sleek and classy, and the tagline "morally gray and getting darker" makes me drool. You have to check it out! It launches tomorrow, June 4th, so don't miss it!
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Hey HBs! This week we've got a delicious contemporary lesbian romance: D'Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding by Chencia C. Higgins! This perfect morsel has so many things we love! Reality TV, fat rep, queer rep, overcoming religious trauma, loving and eccentric families, and WOWZA the spicy times are faaaantastic. This is a hard recommend from us!
Bonus Content: Mel just like her drinks dry, Sabrina can't handle a mid-recording puck of Mexican hot chocolate, Mel fancast this book: D'Vaughn is Susie Dahl and Kris is Mal Wright, Mel can't shut up about The Ultimatum: Queer Love, butch lesbians in short-sleeved button downs, Sabrina is frozen by reality tv chatter, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: We started recording one year ago! And having to read all of these books so closely has added a wonderful layer to her experience.
Mel: We got a wonderful review that called us "saucy, cheeky, and oh-so-deliciously naughty" and I'm DEAD!!! THANK YOU to everyone who reviews us online!
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Hey HBs! We're here with the contemporary Scottish romance ON DUBLIN STREET by Samantha Young! It's Edinburgh, it's family tragedy, it's basing life decisions on great bathtubs. There's an emotionally skittish heroine, an alpha hero who's eight years older, a friends-with-benefits arrangement, and a little too much boundary pushing for Mel's complete comfort. And we knew this before, but we pinpoint one of the ways subgenre impacts reader expectations!
Bonus Content: eyeball cupcakes, trip planning, Veronica's Dragon, Mel's a hypocrite, subgenre matters, Sabrina's gets caught being a creepy old lady at the car wash, never meet a mortal man, tackling with blow job jokes, alphas with emotional intelligence, and Anirbas makes her glorious return!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Gatorade in tiny bottles! It stays super cold the whole time she's drinking it, which is delicious!
Melody: the nostalgia-fest of Two Friends Big Bootie Mixes! Listening to volume 11 facilitated the best workout class she's had in a long time!
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Wooo! HBs we're here with book 1 of the Victorian Rebels series, THE HIGHWAYMAN by Kerrigan Byrne. We loooooved this book! As Sabrina is a longtime Kerrigan Byrne fangirl, it's not a shock. We've got a childhood-spouses-to-lovers book that knocked our socks off! But yikes, it gets dark.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: if you're lonely, but don't have anyone around physically, get on a video call and play video games parallel to each other!
Mel: find the light in the dark when you can! Turns out, the best way to help midnight sobbing is Lemur Time.
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Hey HBs! In this episode, Sabrina and Mel recap DEATH'S OBSESSION by Avina St. Graves. It's a dark, paranormal, stalker romance that gave us KING OF FLESH AND BONE, SING ME TO SLEEP, and SOUL EATER vibes. Overall, they enjoyed the experience, but were generally underwhelmed. But! They talk a lot about reader "meters" and it's appropriately scientific and straightforward. During the episode, Sabrina's three pooches are competing in some serious doggy Olympics in the background, so there will be a bit of ambient noise, but we have to respect these athletes and their tenacity.
Bonus Content: Mel's still in a Theodora Taylor hole, our Smut Meters are broken, Smut Meter vs. Butterflies Meter vs. Shock Meter, this is a Shadow Daddy book, breakup semantics, sneeze feats, "dress me, daddy," dark tunnels, analog text responses, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: treat yourself to a shrimp boil for one! It doesn't have to be a social thing!
Mel: have yourself a good ol' fashioned Law & Order SVU marathon, or whatever is your equivalent to a show that feels like coming back to an old friend. It's great background noise while you do other things!
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Hey HBs! We're here with LOVE FOR THE COLD-BLOODED, OR THE PART-TIME EVIL MINION'S GUIDE TO ACCIDENTALLY DATING A SUPERHERO by Alex Gabriel! Boy, oh boy, this MM superhero fantasy novel is fan-damn-tastic; the voice is SO UNIQUE, the world-building is incredible, and the romance is SMOKING HOT. There's accidental sex work, it highlights the power of perspective, and someone puts quail eggs on pizza. Plus, FORCE FIELD S*X!
Bonus Content: rich boy pizzas, force field condoms, telling your employer to get better at dirty talk, frat house libraries, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Do you have an upgrade available from your cellular company? Even if you don't have a black melting dick spot on your screen that makes your life incredibly inconvenient, see if you can upgrade to a better phone for free!!!
Sabrina: Microwave Popcorn! Good goddess microwave popcorn really hits the spot!!
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Hey HBs! We're here to recap JUST FOR THE CAMERAS by Viano Oniomoh! It's a fluffy contemporary with delicious and supported sex work, amazing communication, a sad sad Sebastian boy, best friendship goals, and an MMF menage that made us feel all gooey and sparkly inside. And WOW the hot hot sexy times! This is definitely an erotic romance.
Bonus Content: this is a giggly episode, sad boy catnip, dimple piercings, celebrations of beautiful fat bodies, Pavlovian Portraits, only one bed, two boys just cock-a-doodle-doing together, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina - the path of totality. Sabrina went and experienced the solar eclipse with a friend and it was wonderful to be reminded that she's a tiny speck on a tiny speck of a universe!
Mel - get yourself 5 yards of mulch for your birthday! It's the BEST and moving it all in one day makes a person feel SUPER accomplished.
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Hey HBs! It's Post-Apocalyptic Times!! We're recapping CLAIMED by Elle Kennedy, and wow is outlaw country sex and kink positive! We've got a heroine with a BIG secret, a hero with a vendetta, and a passel of boys we can't get enough of!
Bonus Content: Michael's angry bird artistic debut, that potent post-apocalyptic pussy, sexy hit point increases, the confusing commerce of outlaw country, flower favors, outlaw jail, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: see your friends as much as possible! Especially if they live far away.
Mel: I've been noodling on some wisdom from a fictional yoga class written by Sarina Bowen. The idea "never give up and always surrender." Work hard and follow your dreams, but allow for things to evolve along the way!
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Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are here to recap RAVISHED by Amanda Quick! It's a historical with a fossil-obsessed heroine, a VERY misunderstood hero, a dangerous ring of robbers, and a cavernous ruination!!
Bonus Content: Mel got her 5 yards of dirt delivered, Sabrina wants to be BFFs with this heroine, the gals go on a crustacean tangent, Mel does a big word association on everyone because it's tired in here, Lady Whipplethorpe, Lord Applebottom Doorman, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Joint lady love: HB David sending a much-sought 1st print of a Lisa Kleypas book to HB Emily after a Patreon watch party! HBs are the BEST.
Sabrina: StoryGraph has actual graphs now! Pie and bar ones!
Mel: Get yourself whatever your 5 yards of dirt is! Is it nuts? Maybe. But is it for you? DEFINITELY.
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Hey HBs! HAPPY ST. VINCENT WEEK! Tomorrow, April 2nd, is officially the 3rd (or maybe 4th?) annual St. Vincent Day! Where we celebrate Sebastian St. Vincent, the misunderstood bad boy who's really just broken and wants to ensconce your feet in warmth and feed you and plan funerals so you don't have to and become the sexist casino business man and take bullets for you. CASUAL STUFF.
Last year, we got recommendations for books that have St. Vincent vibes and boy did HB Taylor deliver! She's back with us to recap THE LUCKIEST LADY IN LONDON by Sherry Thomas. We have the horniest heroine on a mission, an asshole in disguise as the Ideal Gentleman, mistress-turned-marital machinations, and so much more!
Bonus Content: so much math horniness, floriography, chalkboard fantasies, tentacle fingers, telescope metaphors, and more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: if you can, hire a person to do the thing you hate! Sabrina just got a guy who will mow her lawn and now she can use that time cross-stitching or reading or knitting AND reading or just taking a load off.
Taylor: Weleda body lotion. It smells like plants and she swears by it.
Mel: laugh directly in the face of misogynists. If a guy looks you dead in your beautiful face and says he doesn't "need your permission to call your husband" give into your involuntary response and cackle right in his face!
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Hey HBs! We haven't recapped an alien romance in a while... dare we say TOO LONG! We're here today with TAKEN TO VORAXIA by Elizabeth Stevens! As of the release of this episode, Mel has read through book 6 without any plans to stop. This series is sooo good!
TW: discussions of sexual assault, slavery, and forced abortions.
Bonus Content: Mel can't tear herself away from the Ruthless Bosses series by Theodora Taylor, how much we love the there-aren't-enough-babies trope, xora pockets (insert rooster emoji here), and ships turning into armadas!!!
Don't worry, Mel told Sabrina all about the rest of the books in the Ruthless Bosses series by Theodora Taylor and that will be out on Patreon and Apple subscription on Tuesday, 4/2!!
Lady Loves
Mel: Pizza dough made from scratch, and then cinnamon rolls made with any leftover dough!
Sabrina: Author Emma Hamm is a recent discovery with a DEEP backlist and oh Sabrina might need saving pretty soon!
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Hey y'all! We're here with part 2 of IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEWHERE by Roan Parrish! We left you in the middle of their first (and only?) fight, which we acknowledge was a mean thing to do. But! There's an HEA!
CW: for discussions of parental death and attempted suicide.
Bonus Content: Mel did some hyperfocus "cleaning" because there was no one around to stop her, Sabrina wants Ginger's book (it exists! Huzzah!), Mel "pegged [Sabrina] so hard," and Sabrina is a sister goddess.
Lady Loves:
Mel: Mary Seacole! She was a badass nurse and Black woman who was a contemporary of the better-known Florence Nightingale.
Sabrina: HB Washcloths! She's needed something to do with her hands while podcasting, so now she's doing small knitting projects.
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Hey HBs! We're here with IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEWHERE by Roan Parrish! This is part 1 because we loved this book soooooo much. This MM romance features a tattooed professor with anxiety and a super burly, cabin-building, care-taking dreamboat.
Bonus Content: Mel's bringing big grown-up-lady-sleepover energy, Sabrina is now tailoring reading lists to Mel's big mouth, both gals are horned up for love, and we meet Sabrina's anxiety gremlin!
Lady Loves:
Mel: The soundtrack of the musical SIX! Especially the song All You Wanna Do sung by Didi Romero (Katherine Howard) and Get Down sung by Olivia Donaldson (Anne of Cleves). I'm told you can get both with a youtube music subscription.
Sabrina: Figure out a way to do what you HAVE to do while also doing the things you WANT to do! Sabrina has started reading with audiobooks so she can color at the same time (it's way more complicated than that, but whatevs).
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Hey HBs! We're back with ANY DUCHESS WILL DO by Tessa Dare! We restart our tale right after the library finger-b*ng, and these two are convinced that they only have until the end of the week. Will he gut his BFF for this woman??
Content warning: discussions of infant death and mentions of miscarriage.
Bonus Content: Mel just dropped her family off at the airport, Mel and Sabrina "haven't even been railed yet" (or ever?), Sabrina found the ultimate tax-deductible ass, and we love every blue-blooded vein in someone's body pounding in desire for us!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: get you some watercolor markers if that's what will help you create the art of your dreams!
Mel: is it 1am? Sure. But do you need some brownies? Probs. Make them!!!
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Hey HBs! We're here to recap ANY DUCHESS WILL DO by Tessa Dare! It's an Englandtimes book featuring a sad, broken Duke, his desperate mother, and the serving girl who will change them all forever.
Bonus Content: Mel's got a mesakkah dick on her phone screen now, Sabrina learned about screenshots a long time ago, Sabrina has special feelings about stickers, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Wear the silly costume! Be a shrimp! Do it!!
Mel: Call an audible! The sportsball kind, that is. If something changes, go with the flow and make it a two-parter!
Hey HBs! It's time to cross the finish line of THE GIRL WITH THE STARS IN HER EYES by Xio Axelrod. Toni is starting to mesh with and carve out her role in the band, Seb is remining himself of his no-fraternization clause constantly, and Kandy is ready to make some waves! Y'all, this childhood best-friends to lovers set in the soundscape of an all-girl rock band, frankly, rocked our world.
Bonus Content: Sabrina has been ORGANIZING HER LIFE and will not be accepting questions, we're so glad we're not famous, what are x's and o's, the gals aren't DP Sherlock Holmses, WE WANT A SAPPHIC SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE IN THIS SERIES, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Make the effort for long-distance pals! Sabrina's friends are throwing her a 30th S-themed birthday party and she's taking her shrimp costume for a weekend trip out of state to celebrate with them!
Mel: go buck wild and throw a grown up lady sleepover! While her family is across the world on a trip, Mel's hosting a few friends for a weekend slumber party! Ahhhhh!
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Hey HBs! We planned this as a two-parter because we knew we would need to obsess over every detail AND WE WERE RIGHT. We're recapping THE GIRL WITH STARS IN HER EYES by Xio Axelrod! It's a second chance, childhood-best-friends-to-lovers romance set in the music industry and ehrmegerd we're hooked.
Bonus Content: Mel's entire personality is gardening, this book has so much TEXTURE, you can hear the music and smell the smells and feel ALL the feels, Mel's rogue tampon, the blissful city of Tamtopia, and so much more!
Lady Loves
Sabrina: Go to the doctor! Sometimes you might think you know what's wrong, but it turns out a medical professional might know better. But also, get a second and third opinion if a doctor isn't listening to you.
Mel: @microflowerfarm on IG! Even if you don't care about flower farming, it's such a BEAUTIFUL account!
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Hey HBs! It's time to get our hockey on with HARD HITTER by Sarina Bowen! It's a massage, it's a yoga, it's a crime thriller! Ari and Patrick are so swoony!
CW for discussions of past domestic abuse.
Bonus Content: Sabrina (on record as NOT a re-reader) has read this book 3 times, Mel has been cut off by Hoopla, the gals both need massages badly, Mel learns what "uppers" actually are (yikes), dicks in coffee makers, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina - rereading! Sometimes it's so so so good!
Mel - the newest season of The Bachelor with Joey! It seems like the franchise has new producers who don't want to ruin the lives of all the contestants!
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Hey HBs! Mel and Sabrina are back with HIS PRETEND BABY by Theodora Taylor! Nyla and Go are imperfectly perfect for each other and it was SO SWOONY! Self love, acceptance, and hot hot s*x are huge themes in this book and we couldn't get enough.
Bonus Content: Mel has a dick on her phone and both gals only share VERY begrudgingly.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Find yourself a local community. Having someone who would come over to make sure she was ok after a concussion was an amazing experience.
Mel: the soundtrack to the movie Ugly Dolls. Especially "Broken & Beautiful." Remember, you're beautiful in your brokenness!
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Hey HBs! It's chaotic over here. Mel's drunk, Sabrina's an ADHD, and birds are locking people out of their cars. Also, Bobby De Niro is here!
In this episode we recap a 5 Star Review Bribe MOVIE: the 2007 film Stardust starring Claire Danes, Daredevil, and Not-Goldie-Hawn. This road trip romance is a romp that everyone needs to see!
Bonus Content: did Mel incept Sabrina to DIY renovate her house or is she just turning 30?, is this a perfect movie? Everyone is in it!, this whole movie/book was inspired by a fever dream about Mark Williams being a goat man, Sabrina didn't recognize Henry Cavill but would bang Sienna Miller like a pinkie toe, and so much more!
Lady Loves: Love Your Home!
Sabrina: Are you happy with your space? You can probably make small changes that make a huge difference. Or buy a new bedframe!
Mel: Get that estimate! Something that seems impossible might be perfectly within your reach with professional help. Just find out so you have all the data!
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Hey HBs! We're here recapping THE MASTER by Kresley Cole! It was formerly a Patreon-only episode, but we're doing something we basically never do and releasing it wide. We originally recapped The Professional and then finished the series on Patreon. This episode was supposed to be a recap of both The Master and The Player, but we loved the books so much we had to give them their own episodes.
Bonus Content: Did Mel incept Sabrina with Lady DIY Instagram or is she just turning 30?, chastity in BDSM romance, where's the CBT in romance?, and so much more!
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Helloooooo HBs! I hope you've been exercising your huggin' arms because it's time for the 2023 annual Heaving Bosoms Reading Embrace!!!!!!!! We gave you 20 categories and you did whatever you wanted with them. And if you notified us that you even thought about doing the Embrace, YOU GET SNUGGLED INTO OUR BOSOMS!
More than anything, we need to say the biggest, most heart-felt thank you to YOU, Listener. You continue to melt our hearts and blow us away with your support, generosity of spirit, and ability to send love over any distance. We feel so very embraced by you as well.
Bonus Content: Lamb Chop's Play Along, pterodactyl porn, bogarting boob juice, and so much more!
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Happy New Year HBs!!!!!!!!!! Mel and Sabrina are ushering in 2024 by recapping Grand Theft NYE by Katrina Jackson! It's horny in here! AND THERE'S A HEIST! Y'all know how much Mel loves a caper. Cleo is here to make an entrance and then a hasty exit... with Mr. Shimizu's heart.
Bonus Content: 2nd grade humor, Jessica Hare, getting jokes live on the podcast, Ana Huang's Twisted series, a high speed finger bang, honey badgers, the brand new taste sensation "Squelchers," and so much more!
BIG REMINDER TO SEND IN YOUR READING EMBRACE!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina - Being in charge of her own finances so that sometimes she can buy a 40 pack of Gushers.
Mel - Generic Candy Cane Oreos! They've got chunks of candy canes in the filling and it's SO SATISFYING. Get 'em at your local Aldi! The brand name is Benton's.
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Hey HBs! Your fave Nic is here with Mel and Sabrina for our annual Christmas movie episode! We signed up for a lighthearted romance and instead we got a lighthearted THRILLER! In this airport Marriott, Christmas Magic has turned malignant. Wishes will be distorted, bodies will be snatched, and cookies will be decorated to be PURPOSEFULLY UGLY gah! No, but seriously, WTF is this movie. Currently, you can stream it on Hulu.
Bonus Content: a Christmas song that will steal your whole brain, Cheekbones the Heroine, Quizzical Brows the Hero, Crazy Eyes the Hitler Youth Haircut/Victim, THE CHRISTMAS CRONE IS BACK, filming in hotels, gingerbread/reindeer cookies, Planning The Donner Party, knowing how to pronounce your name backwards, The King of All Dogs (that's a Cult Podcast reference, thanks Paige & Armando!), and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel - This video of Renee Rapp doing a big instinctual protect on Drew Barrymore!
Sabrina - SLEEP! Listen to your body!
Nic - Check in with your brain and emotional landscape and give yourself some slack! You deserve it! It's a tough time of year! (Note from Mel: maybe your episode will be a couple days late! But it's Christmas and seasonal affective disorder is a thing and that has to be ok. HUGS!)
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Hey HBs! This week we're here to recap the YA darling, THE CHRISTMAS CLASH by Suzanne Park! This book is so swoony, funny, moving, adorable, and a big inspire! Chloe and Peter are mired in a years-long family rivalry, but might need to work together to save their family's restaurants from being demolished, along with the mall they call home. Along the way we get romantic, illicit alley dinners, grassroots organization, speaking truth through art, basketball court justice, collaboration as a love language, victory over racists, and all the swoony romance goodness!
Bonus Content: Mel's sick (but edited out most of the coughs!), Sabrina doesn't know what an Orange Julius is, Mel has a brilliant idea for a new VR venture, Sabrina demands HB fanny packs, the gals fight over who will read excerpts, and more!
Lady Loves
Sabrina: Y'all have been sending her messages about rotisserie chickens and she is LOVING IT. Who knew our feral eating tangent in a random Patreon episode would induce so much connection and joy?! What a legacy.
Melody: Break up your routine! Last week some electrical work on our house inspired Mel to get a haircut, work in the library, have a lunch out with her husband, and generally be a person in the world. It was invigorating!
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Hey HBs! Happy Hanukkah to every who celebrates! On this 5th day of Hannukah 2023 we're recapping one of the most adorable (and hot!) books ever, Mistletoe and Mishigas by M.A. Wardell. It's an MM contemporary about a sunshine, pocket-sized 1st grade teacher and the Queen-loving, grumpy bear custodian who wants to resist his charm and just can't. Fake dating, size difference, grumpy/sunshine, protagonists in their 30s, This Duke Is A Virgin, communicating only in grunts, PTSD from military service, sickbed care, "I could just watch you," and so much more!
Bonus Content: Mel barely has a voice, the Patreon Discord channel is up!, this is an Own Voices author!, a dimple you can lick hummus out of, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Tapestry Petite needles! You can use a lot more thread since they're so much shorter than regular cross-stitch and embroidery needles.
Melody: The organization Jewish Voice for Peace has some incredible scripts for calling your legislators to demand a cease-fire and so much more information about the crisis in Gaza right now. Go check out their socials and website to see how you can join or support them! Their IG handle is @jewishvoiceforpeace
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HBs! We're kicking off our special Patreon series the 12 Weeks of Maas-mas! That's right, for the next 3 (or probably more) months, Sabrina and Mel will be recapping Crescent City books 1 and 2 on Patreon, in preparation for book 3's release in January!!
In this episode, we cover chapters 1-12 of HOUSE OF EARTH AND BLOOD and we don't hold back! What is haaaaappening?! How did she wreck Mel in the first 5 chapters? Whyyyyyy???
So, you don't need to do a big reread to get prepped for HOUSE OF FLAME AND SHADOW, just head over to Patreon and listen to these hot dummies experience them for the first time.
Bonus Content: who was that beehive lady? Not Reese Witherspoon, rockstar day at elementary school, gettin' horny in the White Raven's bathroom, drunk logic, people pulp, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: don't be afraid to break up your routine! Like when Sabrina eschewed spending Thanksgiving reading with her charcuterie board to go have lunch at an old folks home! She loves an old person.
Mel: mini pies! They're maybe better than regular pies? But make the crust super thin.
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Hey HBs! We're here with our first historical in a while and Sabrina has decided she lives there now. That's right, When Beauty Tamed the Beast by Eloisa James has stolen our plucky co-host and may never return her! We've got an erroneously-ruined heroine, a supposedly-impotent and very grumpy doctor hero, and an arranged marriage that "doesn't suit." But swimming lessons might just be the key to flooding everyone's basements.
Bonus Content: Sabrina quits the podcast so she can devote all her time to Eloisa James, Kelly Clarkson moments, boat jokes, unspoken demisexuality, and so much more!
CW: childhood injury and chronic pain, discussions of previous opium addiction, discussions of sexual impotence.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Being late to a series so that the library hold times are slim to none and then INHALING that whole series. Don't be afraid to be late to the party!
Mel: (has two again)
In the small moments, practice choosing to see the good in things, or the bright side. Sometimes happiness really is a choice, a quick reframing of an inconvenience can change your whole day!
The Foundation Single Crochet stitch! Apparently you don't have to start every project with chain.
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Hey HBs! Happy Thanksgiving to all our American Listener! This week we're recapping Before Thanksgiving Comes by Marisa Carroll. It was a little heavier than our former Inspirational romance books, but we manage to find the funny! TW: substance use disorder (character currently in recovery), death of a spouse and grandmother (historical), mention of suicide (historical), parentification of a child, teenage drinking, and drunk driving.
Bonus Content: cleavage tonguing in the wild, more illuminating finance explanations, Bing Boong Bong Owl Danger with Melody, Bing Boong Bong General Bird Stuff with Sabrina, someone actually getting hurt in a romance fall!, SO MUCH KIDS, Celine Dion song breaks, and so much more!
Lady Loves (AKA what we're thankful for):
OMG YOU, Listener! The love we've gotten after our rebrand has been AMAZING and we are SO THANKFUL for you!
Also OMG EACH OTHER. Sabrina and Mel get sappy about being partners and pals and it's gross.
This week on Patreon: a recap of Back for Seconds: A Thanksgiving Why Choose Feast by JL Logosz and Vera Valentine.
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Happy Veteran's Day, American HBs! We're bringing you book 2 of Suzanne Brockmann's Tall, Dark, and Dangerous series, FOREVER BLUE. A big ol' Navy Seal goes home for his brother's wedding (to his High School sweetheart) and reconnects with the little tomboy he paid no attention to back in the day. Also, there's a murder mystery! And some astonishing police work.
Bonus Content: "Is it my meds? Is it my hormones? I don't know, but I'm not okay!", Navy Seals as paranormal creatures, sexual fantasies peaking in High School, motel boning, plants are the original security systems, pond scum lubricant, what are money laundering?, how do credit card APR?, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina:
Mel: take the hard left turn if that's what is best or healthiest for you! If you follow us on social media, you may have noticed that we lied to you. We said we would do This Side of Heaven for today's episode and then we decided we had to HARD PASS on that one for problematic ish we couldn't whimsy through. #sorrynotsorry
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Hey y'all! HB Nic is here to recap the sci-fi romance of our dreams! Saving Verakko by the one and only Victoria Aveline! It's road-trip, it's wilderness survival, it's cultural misunderstandings, it's suggested penetration and then ACTUAL penetration. It's delicious.
Bonus Content: nervous first date energy, OMG the Victoria Aveline rabbit hole of it all, she was raised by Bear Grylls, he's descended from snakes, is "sway" just intense bff energy?, mates get cool hand tattoos, and so much more!
Nic is one of our patrons at the Competence Boner level, which means she gets to join as a guest host. She totally nailed it!
Lady Loves:
Mel: read this whole series!
Nic: find a great choir (or whatever makes your heart soar) to find community and express yourself in an emotionally intelligent, safe space. She just joined a local Sweet Adeline's and Barbershop chapter and it's been life-giving!!
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Happy Halloween, HBs!!!!!! It's our SPOoooooOOOOKyyyyy eeeeeepissooooode! And this is LEGIT spooky! Mel and Sabrina recap Haunted Hookup by Eliza McLane! We've got a heroine in a rut, a hero getting his second chance, and a ghost who wants to wingman hard! She will happily traumatize you in service to her wingmanitude. Wingmanity? You get it.
Bonus Content: Sneaky dance parties and operatic belches, the gals CANNOT with the spoop, we considered buddy-reading this book, Sabrina will consider a ghostly polycule under the right conditions, is this a podcast or are we just reading the book out loud?, how is this book so legitimately touching?, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: the Amazon Prime show Gen V (check the trigger warnings!)
Sabrina: watch a movie with your internet friends! Our Twilight watch party was LIFE GIVING.
Content Warning: around the 1 hour 34 min - 1 hour 36 min mark Mel briefly discusses her maternal grandmother's death and an experience she had directly afterward.
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HBsssssssss!!!! We came to this paranormal series for spooky season. Little did we know, it's actually horny toad season! Meg Anne and K. Loraine throw down in this Why Choose romance full of vampires and shifters and demons and a whole bunch of other things we don't find out about until book 3 or 4! Because, yes, this is another multi-book HEA and, yes, it knocked our socks off. Deal with the Demon is book 1 of The Mate Games: Pestilence. We're recapping books 2-4 on Patreon! The books are amazing on their own, but if you want the fully-transcendent experience, go for the full-cast audiobooks!
If you want our recap of Claimed by the Shifters, Captive of the Night, and Lost to the Moon, check out our Patreon!
K. Loraine and Meg Anne also have a Kickstarter going on for the previous Mate Games series featuring War!
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The above includes affiliate links, which means if you buy a book after clicking on one of our links, a tiny portion of the sale will go to support the podcast (without costing you anything extra)!
Hey y'all! It's a bonus episode! To celebrate the release of The Gargoyle from General Management, Mel narrates a scene from the book for you. Enjoy!
If you loved this snippet, make sure to get The Gargoyle from General Management!
And the first two books in the series are great as well! Don't miss out on Love, Laugh, Lich and The Orc from the Office!
The above are affiliate links, which means the podcast makes a commission from qualified purchases and you don't get charged more for it!
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Y'allllll! The Overdue Podcast boys are here to celebrate our 300th episode with us! Mel and Sabrina are joined by Andrew and Craig to recap the new adult romantasy sensation FOURTH WING by Rebecca Yarros! Come hear us chat about writing to trend, a refreshing heroine, Canadian dragons, and so much more!
Did you hear our brand new music by Brittany Pfantz? It's AMAZING! And our brand new logo was created by longtime HB and author Kate Prior!
Kate Prior's newest book from her Claws and Cubicles series is out now! Make sure to check out THE GARGOYLE FROM GENERAL MANAGEMENT today!
Want more of our thoughts on Fourth Wing? Sabrina and Mel sat down for a "squeepisode" on Patreon chatting about all the stuff we loved and couldn't cover in this ep!
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Hey HBs! Happy 6th Podiversary! Kimberly Lemming, Alexis the Sword, Naima Simone, and Sabrina Bradley are here to celebrate in style! We've got Hard Limits Watch, Kinks Watch, Obsessions Watch, and so so so many Would You Rather scenarios!
Stay tuned to the end for some announcements and surprises!
I'll post a full list of books mentioned on our Patreon!
Enjoy!!!!!
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Hey HBs! Sabrina and Mel recap The Professional by Kresley Cole! It's book 1 in The Gamemaker series and poor Sabrina got duped into thinking that's it's chiefly a mafia romance. FALSE! The Russian mafia is certainly there, but this is a BDSM erotic romance of our dreams! We've got stalking for reasons, we've got kidnapping, we've got dry hmping in corn fields, we've got wet hmping in maid's closets, we've got foot jobs under the table, we've got bondage in country saunas! What more could you ask for??
WELL, there are two more brothers who love kink! So, patrons get ready for our recaps of The Master and The Player!!!
Bonus content: Sabrina's delicious post-Professional dreams, Mel divulges things about her body pillow, there's not enough clit slapping or tit slapping in romance, this is not a BDSM manual! But it's so so so hot at the same time, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: the phone game Triple Match! It's so fun to play while listening to podcasts!
Mel: Using Fejo by Victoria Aveline! The hero is a sad broken boy who hides behind his effusive charm and flamboyant pirating!
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Hey y'all! Sabrina is back to recap Devil's Bride by Stephanie Laurens! It's Cynster book 1 and we LOVED it! There's a super decisive hero (tyrant? lol), a strong-minded heroine, and a murder mystery!
Bonus Content: Sabrina hyper-focus on fixing her tags in Storygraph, a whole passel of Stephanie Laurens, how do you say "Honoria" and are we French now?, we are Sherlock Holmses now, a mirror fingerbang in an Orangery, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Fresh haircut! She feels so good now!
Mel: Let your 4 year old give you a manicure! And just embrace the joy of those little moments.
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Ooooh, it's our first cowboy book in a minute! Mel and Sabrina recap A Cowboy to Remember by Rebekah Weatherspoon, which a second-chance AMNESIA romance! That's a tough trope convo to pull off and this book is FANTASTIC!
It's the last day of our Patreon fundraiser benefitting the people of Maui! Sign up before midnight ET on September 18th and we will double the first month's pledge and we'll split that donation between the Maui Food Bank and the Maui Fire Relief Fund!
Bonus Content: the alien lover's anthem, the search for a tax-deductible ass, Western Times rom-coms (AKA Kitt McBride Get a Wife by Amy Barry), imparting knowledge about things we have absolutely no personal experience in we promise, being dressed "to the nines," math/love is the universal language, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina - get yourself an old-timey oil lamp! It's such a perfect way to wind down at the end of the night!
Mel - the Netflix show One Piece! It's such a fun romp and a big inspire and SO MUCH FUN!
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Hey HBs! Kim Loraine (AKA Stella Hunter) is here to recap A French Fling by Emily Silver! We've got an enthusiastic alt girl tour operator and an aloof French driver. If they can get past their first impressions, sparks will fly! And the narration performed by Samantha Brentmoor is brilliant!
Bonus Content: Mel's new obsession with Floriography, Kim loves that violets are a sapphic symbol, our latest lumberperson obsession @nicole_coenen, old people have sex and it's totally cool, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Kim: Therapy! And living the life you have right now, like taking your kids to concerts!
Mel: Embrace whatever thing gives you joy. If having people stop and smile at your flowers gives you a goofy grin, make that front garden bigger and sit in front of the window!
Follow Kim Loraine on all the places! And for more audio goodness, follow Stella Hunter.
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Hey HBssssssssssss! Surprise! This episode is tardy because we decided to thoroughly enjoy our Labor Day weekend over at HBHQ and wow did school start right after! Very exciting changes. This week, Sabrina joins Mel to recap Dark Lover by JR Ward, the first book in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series! If you love a hate episode, this just might be for you because... let's just say this was a rough first time read in 2023. Luckily, Sabrina is here with her wrap-around-mid-2000's-nostalgia-glasses, so there's some balance!
We've got Wrath and Beth and lessers and Tohrment and Phury and doggens and Rhage and casual police brutality and Zsadist and pimp juice and Vishous and Escalades and shellans and war horniness. Welcome to a brand new world!
Bonus Content: Mel read this book to the tune of constant and unstructured 4 year old whistling eye twitches, Mel goes on a rant about white supremacy, misogyny, fatphobia, police brutality apologists, toxic sexuality, strict binaries, gender essentialism, etc etc (you know, NORMAL STUFF), Darius the accountant, #justiceforMarissa, and so much more!
Lady Loves: GET YOUR GREENS!
Sabrina - make healthy routines that you can stick to when your mental health takes a dive. It's ok to set up shortcuts in advance!
Mel - hide your greens in a chocolate protein smoothie! Trick yourself like a toddler as a grown-ass-person!
Notes and Resources from Mel:
Q: We haven't seen much of Butch and V lately--
JR: interrupts They've been seeing plenty of each other!
Q: -- will we ever see any of that on the page?
JR: No.. [paraphrased]... I will give hints about it and talk about it verbally, but it won't be on the page... because too many people would hate it. sotto voce Butch is getting it regularly.
In my opinion, making statements like the above to hopeful readers, essentially creating her own fanfic to pander to queer folks and allies, while officially siding with people who would be offended by the very existence of a queer relationship by never putting it on the page, is cowardly and underhanded. Regardless of the motivation or intention, by doing this, it appears that Ward is presenting as an ally to profit from queer folks and allies while still maintaining enough deniability to avoid risking general sales. Now, saying "people would hate it" could be a subtle way of saying that her publishing company is ultimately behind that decision, but that doesn't go far in changing my view. Either stand up for what you believe by putting it on the page or stand by the words you put on that page.
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Hey y'all! Alexis the Sword and Kimberly Lemming are back to finish our recap King of Flesh and Bone by Liv Zander! If you haven't yet, go listen to Part 1 before finishing this episode. We're about to go topside with our plucky heroine and our psychotic god (ie sad, sad boy) and that might just include a little more twisting!
We're not going to get the HEA for these two in this book, but we'll be recapping Queen of Rot and Pain for Patreon, where we'll get the most satisfying HEA!!
Our annual Patreon fundraiser is going to benefit Maui Wildfire relief! From 8/21-9/18, we're going to double any new or increased Patreon pledges and split the donations between the Maui Fire Relief Fund and the Maui Food Bank. If you opt for an annual membership, you get 10% off, but we'll still double the first month's pledge as if it were paid in full!
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Woo! Alexis and Kimberly Lemming are here to recap King of Flesh and Bone by Liv Zander! It's a dark romance featuring a scrappy, oath-keeping midwife and a selfish, dramatic god of the dead. Did we mention it's pretty dark? WE LOVED IT SO HARD. But! Trigger Warnings: in this episode, we discuss death, suicide, murder, glib mentions of domestic abuse, very very dubious consent (at best), violence, sexual violence, and forced servitude, so take care. This is part one! Part two will be coming next week, but is up on Patreon now!
Bonus Content: WE ARE NOT WELL, startling like a cat, fear of book recs ruining friendships, gleefully following a psychotic god into his mind palace, redefining the meaning of eternity, and so much more!
Today (8/21/23) is the last day to bid on items in the Romance for Maui auction that was organized by Lucy Eden!
Our annual Patreon fundraiser is going to benefit Maui relief as well! From 8/21-9/18, we're going to double any new or increased Patreon pledges and split the donations between the Maui Fire Relief Fund and the Maui Food Bank. If you opt for an annual membership, you get 10% off, but we'll still double the first month's pledge as if it were paid in full!
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Hey HBs! Meredith is here to recap A Lady Awakened by Cecelia Grant! Wow we loved this book, and part of that was because of all the mixed feelings we had about it during the reading experience. This is a brand new premise to us and we've never seen a historical like this before. Ahhhh! It's so good!
Bonus Content: #justiceforthatpig, a very principled, prickly heroine, and so much more!
Need something awesome? Commission a cozy gift, visit her etsy store, or hire Meredith to generally make your life better! Facebook | Insta
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HBs, Sarah Wendell from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books is here! We're recapping Dragon Called by Cassie Alexander and Kara Lockharte! It's Paranormal Dragon Times, there's a magic cat, and a badass nurse heroine!
Buuuuut, it's a cliffhanger. I know! I'm sorry! Part 2 of this book will be on the Smart Bitches, Trashy Podcast feed on Friday! And then books 2-4 will be recapped on our Patreon this week! So you'll get the HEA (and tons more shenanigans) there.
Bonus Content: Monster ICE, migraines are succubus injuries, and so much more!
Follow us on TIKTOK!
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Hey HBs! Kiran and Lynn Camden are here! They started as listeners and now, years later, we're great friends! They're also long-time besties. We recap Trashed by Mia Hopkins and WE LOVED IT. It's told compeltely from the hero's POV which, Lynn points out, puts him on a "heroine's journey" a la Gail Carriger in a way we've never seen. The characters are vivid, the prose is complex, and the spice is SPICETACULAR. Y'all. Read this book.
Bonus Content: the awkwardness of audiobooks with pals, The Heroine's Journey by Gail Carriger, Bing Boong Bong Health Inspector Times with Kiran, feeling extreme voyeuristic bangxiety, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: do you think you have a brown thumb? You probably just need some tools! Mel just discovered mini plant sun lamps for her indoor plants that you stick into the soil and OMG the difference!
Lynn: Vitamin D! Are you feeling down? Vitamin D could help! And maybe a PEOPLE sunlamp!
Kiran: First Aid Beauty Bump Eraser Scrub and Ingrown Hair Pads! Do you love the beach, but hate the bikini shave situation? Check this stuff out! Lifechanging. Also, Mel needs to add Bush Balm to this list. Heard it's amazing!
Books Rec'd In the Ep:
Imagine You and Me by Lynn Camden
LC Venus for some top notch one handed reads
What Comes After by Blair Leigh
Mead Mishaps series by Kimberly Lemming
Moira Scott books! She writes paranormal and contemporary DELIGHTS.
The above includes affiliate links, which means if you buy a book after clicking on one of our links, a tiny portion of the sale will go to support the podcast (without costing you anything extra)!
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Hey HBs! Naima Simone is back to recap Smut by Karina Halle! Two twenty-somethings who hate each other are forced to write their final project together and... it goes really well! Then they start writing erotic romance together under a very secret pen name. There's a lot of (very realistic) romance shame that we didn't love, but the book was soooo good!
Bonus content: Naima's daughter got her first tattoo, the Lion King is becoming a theme with us, Melody knows she's Pumba, Mel was a pig farmer, "stopping is my current hard limit," shopping for kid shoes while listening to this audiobook, we needed a grovel TO ROMANCE from all the characters of this book, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Are you a Pumba? Embrace and love on your Pumba! Also, Berries and Greed by Lily Mayne! It's an M/F (her first?) with soft D/s play and unapologetic vaginismus!
Naima: The Marriage Favor by Shvonne Latrice! It's a book that expanded her horizons!
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Hey HBs! Shante is here to help Mel recap Girl Gone Viral by Alisha Rai! Supremely private Katrina has just gone viral for a fictional meet-cute and the only one who can save her is her bodyguard and crush. Can their escape turn into a steamy meet-cute?
Bonus Content: men who leave their trash for someone else to clean up, sexy eyebrows, presidential pardons, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Shante: watch shows or movies while facetiming with people you love!
Mel: If you can, just do the thing that will make you succeed. Mel joined a yoga studio because the truth is, not matter how much she tries, apps at home just aren't going to happen.
Shante Gorman is the founder and owner of Sugarpunch Marketing! Follow her everywhere!
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Hey romance lovers! Cathy Yardley is here to recap the Netflix rom-com A Tourist's Guide to Love! Starring Rachael Leigh Cook and Scott Ly and set in Vietnam, this movie is GORGEOUS! The romance is top-notch, the eye-contact is meaningful, and kisses are GOOD!
Bonus Content: GenX romances with feral introverts, condescending boyfriends with punchable faces, "is the CEO friend also the stepmom in The Parent Trap??" (turns out, Missi Pyle and Elaine Hendrix are actually two different people. Who knew?!), and so much more!
Check out Cathy's new book ROLE PLAYING! It's out now! Both protagonists are Gen Xers (48 & 50!), Grumpy Heroine and Sunshine Hero, hilarious misunderstandings, online gaming, and doesn't shy away from real life issues!
Mel's first Alien romance audiobook is out now! Go get Toxic Desire by Robin Lovett in audio!
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Naima and Mel are back to finish the recap of Amazon Prime's My Fault. These two kids try to stay away from each other and they just CAN'T! We can't blame them!
Bonus Content: these two are less discreet than Naima AND Mel.. it's impressive, deconstructing translated dirty talk, Smoking Stubble Man of the Chin Clan, telepathic driving plans, and so much more!
If you want more step-sibling romance, read Naima's book Passion & Ink! It's sooooo angsty taboo good!
NEW AUDIOBOOK ALERT: Get Toxic Desire by Robin Lovett, narrated by Mel!
Lady Loves:
Mel: @shabazsays on tiktok and instagram! He's hilarious and his commentary is spot-on.
Naima: In The Gray by BB Reid! She has a major book hangover after this one!!!
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Hey HBs! Naima Simone is back to recap the movie My Fault, based on a novel by Mercedes Ron! Whew, this movie is hilarious! Stepsiblings, "gangs," and so much more!
Bonus Content: Watching these movies with your daughter, a guy named Owen, learning to drive, playing tricks on your kids, vroom vroom cars, gang names, and Father's Day cards.
Naima mentions the Mzani Youth Choir! Check out when they got the gold buzzer and singing Circle of Life!
Part 2 is next week!
Make sure you check out Mel's latest audiobook TOXIC DESIRE by Robin Lovett!
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Hy HBs! Meredith is hereeeee and she has brought us many treats! We're recapping Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree (who is maybe the overall winner of any NaNoWriMo ever?). This high fatasy with low stakes is EXACTLY what I needed! Who knew I would love 300 pages of watching someone slowly build a coffee shop? There's themes of reinvention, found family, finding your place, the zen of an honest day's work, and so much more! Plus, two! Perfect! Kisses!
Bonus content: now Mel understands why people like make-work games, this is the slowest and most comfy and still most interesting book, capturing the romance of the mundane, fabulous sensory descriptions, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Huge batches of iced tea!
Meredith: spend money on things that make you happy. Will you love floating multiple times this summer? Buy the season pass! AND Pocket Books in Lancaster, PA! A Queer Femme owned bookstore (owned by 3 besties!). You can visit in-person or buy online!
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Sabriiiiina is here to recap The Warlord Wants Forever by Kresley Cole! It's the first in the Immortals After Dark series and we're here to say... maybe don't skip it! We've got two immortals, one femme fatale, one warlord hot dummy, FATE, savage goodbyes, memorable reunions, VERY questionable/dubious/non-existent consent (also enthusiastic consent), and so much more! Could this be viewed as problematic? Sure. Did we super love it? Very yes.
Bonus content: series hopping and existential crises, Forebears/Four Bears, brains while reading, noodle fuckery, and more.
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: 360 degree rolling suitcases. What a revelation!
Mel: #plantdad instagram (also #plantdaddy). And specifically @theplantpapi. Such a good follow!
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THE TWINS ARE HERE!!!! Kimberly Lemming and Alexis the Sword join Mel to recap Crow by A Zavarelli! Irish Mafia, missing BFF, scrappy boxer's daughter orphan, MAGNETIC ATTRACTION, Russian Mafia, basement Dexters, pole dancing!, and Rob Zombie lap dances.
CW: sexual assault, violence against women, and mentions of child abuse in a later book in the series.
Look, Mel loved book. Kim and Alexis, not so much. But the great thing is, there's room in romance for everyone! Serious reminder: we chat as if the characters are real people and we're three friends gossiping about them. We talk about our personal reading experience and we hold space for people who love books we don't and loathe books we worship. Unless there's harm being done, our opinions are not a commentary on the author or the quality of the book.
Bonus content: is this the whitest book we've read in a minute?, mafia social media managers, child fight clubs, Living Dead Girls, I repeat: Basement Dexters, and so much more!
GO READ KIM'S NEWEST BOOK! That Time I Got Drunk and Saved a Human is just as imaginative and delicious as the first two in the series and stars a character I've been waiting eagerly for! Plus, the saddest rich boy dragon who is the perfect autistic king. It's a romp and you need it!!!!!!!!
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HBs, we're back with this delicious display! Display of what? Still not totally sure! All we know is we loved almost every second of it.
Bonus Content: applause post-first sexytimes, Two Face, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Naima: Charlize Theron always. She makes an excellent St. Vincent.
Mel: Check on your thermoses! Maybe they say "push to clean" and you don't have to deal with weird, dangerous tastes for weeks. Don't be an illiterate bridge troll!
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Oh golly! Your pal and mine Naima Simone has turned this into a Yoshi Appreciation Podcast. That's right, she's back to talk about our new problematic fave Through My Window on Netflix! This dubbed classic is a new adult stalking extravaganza that gave us all the delicious conflicting feelings! It's Venezuelan Twilight and we're not mad about it.
Content Warnings: stalking, emotional abuse by a romantic partner maybe?, parental emotional abuse for sure, the perpetuation of the predatory teenage girl (who is actually being victimized) trope, underage tighty whiteys (I'm not being cute, it legitimately bothered me).
Part 2 is next week!
Big THANK YOU to our new patrons Monica H, Amy H, Heather, Brittany C, Kimberly, hottennispro88, Jocelyn G, Carrie SH, and Erin F!
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Hey y'all! It's part 3 of The Bride! The final part! This last 20% of the book is so action packed that it'll make your head spin.
Bonus Content: demanding bribes for adulting, severe aversions to heights, necrophilia jokes that Mel understands right in front of you, Sabrina putting the mystery's puzzle pieces together in real time, and so much more!
Don't miss out on the Dangerous Tides Kickstarter! It ends this week!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Hoopla! OMG! Librarian HBs, if you know of a way for Sabrina and other rural HBs to get Hoopla, email us!
Sabrina: space operas with giant, complicated, overarching plots. Inspired by The Zion Warrior series by Regine Abel, Susan Trombley, and more.
Follow Sabrina on IG: @lucky_readr
AND FOLLOW HER PODCAST!
IG: @thebusyromnivores
Website: www.thebusyromnivores.com
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Hey HBs! Sabrina is back for part 2 of The Bride by Julie Garwood! We start with the morning after the consummation and watch these two hot dummies try to parse their feelings while also shedding a bit more light on the suspense subplot! (There's a murderer in their midst)
Bonus Content: blinking like a broken cupie doll, abandoning sexytime metaphors, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Sabrina: Frozen pot stickers! In the air fryer! Sooooo good!
Mel: This darn Kickstarter for Dangerous Tides! I'm just so proud and happy and I want to share with everyone! It's only available for a super limited time, so don't miss out!
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HB Sabrina and Mel begin our saga covering The Bride by Julie Garwood! Boy this book is bonkers! We couldn't stop talking about this Medieval Highlander Times gem, so this is part 1 of 3.
Bonus Content: Approaching books with an open heart but wary mind, loving books even if they're problematic, Mel tells problematic childhood stories, getting scruffed, Fishbowl Jamie, 1100s saddle? What is?, and so much more!
Hey HBs! It's part two of Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall! Meredith and Mel recap the competition, the switcheroo, and so much more!
Lady loves:
Meredith: Pansies. It's flower season and flowers are happy! And annuals are cheap and cheerful!
Mel: Also spring flowers! My magnolia tree is blooming for the first time since we moved into the new house and I'M OBSESSED!!!
Dangerous Tides launches on April 28th at 12:30pm ET! Don't miss it!
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Hey HBs! Meredith is back to recap Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake by Alexis Hall! Structurally, it's one of the most interesting romance novels I've read. Plus, it comes with Alexis Hall's signature wit AND WE LOVED IT! Did it elicit some completely rational text messages from Mel to Meredith? No. This text required hard muppet texting; that's what good books do! They make you care. [Insert sheepish giggles here]
Bonus Content: soliciting chickens, GBBO background, bi-phobia, Meredith and Mel are co-presidents of the Jennifer Hallet fan club, HOO IZ HEEROH?!?, and so much more!
DANGEROUS TIDES will be launching soon, so make sure to follow the project page! That will ensure you're notified when we hit GOOOOO!
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Sophie Jordan is here to recap Gentle Rogue by Johanna Lindsey! It's Pirate Times! It's England Times! It's America Times! It's all the head hopping! It's George's adventure and she's falling in love along the way.
It's also a HUGE inspiration for CM Nascosta's book in the Dangerous Tides series TO RAVISH A ROGUE. Nascosta takes Lindsey's delicious bonkers framework and adds monsters and more baths and so so so so so much more. I CANNOT.
Make sure to check out THE COUNTESS, book 1 of Sophie Jordan's new series The Scandalous Ladies of London.
Lady Loves:
Sophie - Skincare, Golden Girls, and her airfryer.
Mel - skincare also! And SPF on the face, neck, and chest. And maybe elbow-length driving gloves.
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HAPPY ST. VINCENT DAY, HBs!!!!!! It's a community celebration! Thank you to everyone who wrote in and sent audio files! I LOVED hearing and reading all your thoughts! I'm basically obsessed with you. #stvincentwouldalways
Thank you for celebrating Sebastian St. Vincent with us!
Socials referenced: @theheakitchen | @quote_quake
Books recommended:
Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas
The Luckiest Lady In London by Sherry Thomas
A Duke of Her Own by Eloisa James
The Devil Is a Marquess by Elisa Braden
Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt
Crashed by Julie Kriss
Glitterland by Alexis Hall
Hook, Line, and Sinker by Tessa Bailey
The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare
The Wedding Crasher by Mia Sosa
A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole
The Roommate by Rosie Danan
A Week to Be Wicked by Tessa Dare
This is the Tweet referenced when Stephanie asserted that St. Vincent would always protect someone who wasn't ready to be outed. Robin Williams forever.
Naomi from the HEA Kitchen is the winner of our care package! Congrats!
Happy St. Vincent's Day! Curl up and stay cozy!!!
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KIMBERLY LEMMING IS BAAAACK!!!!!!! Let us rejoice! And she brought a fabulous contemporary novel that involved a bakery, a boxing gym, an ex's wedding, a divorce party, a cake eating contest, a parrot in a shirt, and more nouns that feel like they maybe shouldn't go together but actually did. BEAUTIFULLY, in fact. Mimi Grace did it with Make a Scene. Oh, also dirty talk! Truly a marvel.
Bonus content: Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen, Sir Duncan: Knight of our Hearts, Clown Jail, cheek licking, nodules (or nobules??), and so much more!
Make sure to follow Kim on socials (especially the tiktok!) because book 3 in her Mead mishaps series is IMMINENT and you don't want to miss it!
Follow the prelaunch page for Dangerous Tides!
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Hey HBs! Blair Leigh and Bryan are here to help Mel recap Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall! Luc and Oliver are here with all the witty banter, misunderstandings, and fake dating goodness! Plus, a fabulous cast of side characters we couldn't get enough of. AND THE SWOON FACTOR! It's high! Whew.
Bonus Content: Achilles penises, bathroom antics on dates, distraction snuggles, "DELETE, BLOCK," and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall. Same voice, but lots of sex!
Bryan: "DELETE, BLOCK" Do what you gotsta
Blair: Daisy Jones and the Six TV show, Ted Lasso Season 3, and Invisible String by Meg Jones (that one comes highly recommended by Neighbor Becci!)
Check out Blair and Bryan's bookstore Beausoleil Books! They ship everywhere! And read Blair's debut novel: What Comes After!
CALL FOR ST. VINCENT SUBMISSIONS for a chance to win a Devil In Winter care package!! Send us voice memos or videos of yourself reading your favorite quotes, telling us what you love about St. Vincent or DIW, whatever. You can even email or DM us on instagram! Every written submission gets one entry into the drawing and every voice or video recording gets 2 entries! Send to [email protected] by 3/29.
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Hey HBs! We're back with part 2! In which we go into orc mountain and Gwen SHOWS him her mettle and wit and hunger!
Finely Fenn is a MASTER!
TW: discussions of abortion, self harm, and negative self talk.
Follow Dangerous Tides!! Read Naima's AMAZING books!
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Ahhhh! Naima Simone is back to play! And there are orcs!! This book was SOOO good, y'all. We're obsessed with it. A lot of times good romance not only delivers on the swoony and schmexy components, but it comments on the world we inhabit. This book does that on every level at an 11!! Plus is Bonkers in all the best ways. So! This is part 1 because we chatted for 4 hours.
Content Warnings: This episode contains discussions of freedom of choice, abortion, teenaged pregnancy, loss of a pregnancy, harmful visits to the doctor, and self-harm (cutting). But we balance that with cackling, silly nicknames, and buckets of come!
Bonus Content: Slutty Bears, "Medieval England Times Paranormal Orc Times Highlander Times," getting corked like a wine bottle, Splash Mountain, Finley Fenn's Buckets of Cum Guarantee, and so much more!
Follow Mel's Dangerous Tides Kickstarter to get 6 Pirate novels, including one by Naima Simone! There's art, GORGEOUS special edition books, and swag!
Follow Naima on all the places!
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Hey HBs! Kristina, Kim, and Anna from the Flights of Fantasy podcast joined Mel to discuss all things NESTA! That's right. The bitch is back and Cassian is simping hard. As Anna so wisely says, "in SJM we trust."
Bonus content: Elriel or Gwynriel?, Nesta still DID NOT kill the King of Hybern, Mel asks why Sarah J. Maas is gaslighting all of us, the stratagems of BJs, how Mel knows SJM will cahnge her mind about Nesta and resents it, and audiobook narrators saying ENORMOUS. Plus, WAY MORE!
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Ooooooh HB Taylor is here to recap The Lake House with Melody! This 2006 movie with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves definitely holds up! There's time travel, architecture, a magic dog, and so much more. Taylor is an architect and she brought some amazing insight into this recap!
Mel got to hang out with Taylor because she's a patron at the Competence Boner level, which gets you an invite to cohost one episode a year!
Lady Loves:
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Oooooh, it's a special crossover event! Sarah Wendell is here with part 1 of The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie by Jennifer Ashley. Then, this Friday February 17th part 2 will come out on Smart Podcast, Trashy Books!
Mel fell in love with both Ian and Beth. "Detective Hate Boner" didn't go amiss either. ENJOY!
Head over to our new Etsy shop for tons of goodies!
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Hey y'all! Mel and Tanya are back with part 2 of Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade! In which Marcus gets caught, April teaches a master class in setting boundaries, Alex helps her see the stakes Marcus was facing, Marcus comes out as the smart guy he is, and everyone publicly declares their love and devotion!
Bonus Content: great sex communication from a PhD level fuck partner, Elise Myers and the 100 tacos, and more!
Lady Loves:
Tanya: SOME FICS. Pretty by astolat (Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth), Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered by mardia (Ted Lasso and Trent Creme). ALSO fatgirlsinfiction.com!!!
Mel: Cropped sweaters and loving the body you're in right now!
Heaving Bosoms has an etsy shop now! It's currently full of St. Vincent goodies.
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Hey HBs! Tanya is here with Mel to recap Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade! THIS BOOK, y'all! It hit us in all the feels! In addition to everything else, Olivia Dade made earthquakes sexy?! Wizardry. Fanfic, fat rep, neurodivergence rep, sexy GEOLOGY, cosplay, fandom, secret identities, and tons of NECK STUFF.
Plus, Zero to Steel Magnolias, The Westminster Daddy Show, the NASA InSight Lander's goodbye tweet, "Almond Moms," and so much more!
We'll be back next week with part 2!
You can find Tanya on twitter! And read her excellent Vox article on abortion's portrayal on TV.
Follow Mel's new Bonkers project DANGEROUS TIDES.
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Hey y'all! Jen Comfort joins Mel to squee about their shared childhood obsession with Phantom of the Opera! When she was writing Midnight Duet she obviously did a lot of research and she BRINGS RECEIPTS about the production and cast!
Bonus Content: Andrew Lloyd Webber always being *extra*, explaining the Hades and Persephone trope to a 4 and 6 year old, "doing a gondola on her", a 4 year old exclusively calling Raoul "Christine's true love", how Mel almost fought a girl because she dared laugh at the opening chords of Phantom in the movie theater, Jen and Mel being grandfathered into ogling the teenaged cast because we were the same age when this movie came out, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Sign up for our Patreon to get Jen's 6k word Midnight Duet bonus PEGGING SCENE!!!!!! It's a shot of straight brilliance and joy!
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Oooohhhhhhh! Kimberly Lemming is here to recap Mea Monique's brilliant debut The Grim Reaper's Lawyer! Joyce is self-confidence goals, Aiden is the king of mixed messages, the lawyering is clever, the voice is crystal clear, and the bureaucracy is WHIMSICAL! Plus the sex is scorching hot! And she nails the comedic timing every time!
Bonus Content: Mel and Kim's upcoming album, learning to wink, the kind of dad's we'd be on a trip,
Make sure to check Kim and her books out, and follow her on social media!
Our Patreon has a super special treat from Jen Comfort! She's written a 6K word bonus PEGGING scene that occurs during her new book Midnight Duet!
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Hey HBs! We're here with the annual Reading Embrace! Your favorite cult mods, Meredith and Sabrina, are here to help me wrap you up in the sweetest embrace of your life!
The 2023 HB Reading Embrace is ready for you! If you want to share what you're reading for each category, @ us and tag your social posts with #hbreadingembrace!
I cannot say this enthusiastically enough: Order Midnight Duet by Jen Comfort! And join our Patreon to get a 6K word bonus scene from Midnight Duet by Jen Comfort! It's a shot of straight joy.
Now go forth as the coziest and comfiest you've ever been!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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Hey HBs! Jen Comfort is here to swoon over Lindsay Lohan and Tad Fairchild! We're recapping Netflix's Falling for Christmas, in which a hotel mogul's spoiled daughter gets amnesia, a discount Chris Hemsworth *doesn't* come up with a clever plot, and Creepy Father Christmas is actually the villain! Plus, a new segment *Bing Boong Bong* Hotel Stuff with Jen. Seriously, she knows so much!
Make sure to pre-order Jen's newest release Midnight Duet! It's a gender-swapped Phantom of the Opera and I DIE A THOUSAND DEATH FROM AWESOME.
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DAWN OF ONYX by Kate Golden is available now!
DAWN OF ONYX is the next fantasy romance you HAVE TO PICK UP! If you like ACOSCHMER, The Plated Prisoners series, or Kingdom of the Wicked, this will be your next favorite. It has every trope we love in a new adult fantasy romance! This book is for fans of heroines that come into their power, caretaker scenes, morally grey men, found family, forced proximity, “Who did this to you?", and tons of banter. It's for readers who love epic worldbuilding, and fans of genuine female friendship, steamy trilogies, and swoon-worthy, escapist fantasy!
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Hey y'all! We're baaaack! And Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy are here! We're recapping the Jonathan Taylor Thomas film I'll Be Home for Christmas in which Jessica Biel is the late '90's feminist of our dreams!
If you want to be kind to yourself, check out their first team up A Merry Little Meet Cute! It's the Christmas book I've always wanted.
HB - Make sure you email your 2022 Reading Embrace entries by Dec 30th of this year to be sure you get shouted out in our January episode! You can email those to heavingbosomspodcast at gmail dot com!
Bonus Content: book tours put together with scotch tape and a dream, writing retreat magic, The Ed Man, Aqua, The origins of steak tar tar, the turkey boom of '98, how to be less smelly in Englandtimes, AND SO MUCH MORE!
Next week Jen Comfort will stop by to recap Falling For Christmas, the newest Lindsay Lohan masterpiece.
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Surprise! To celebrate the last few days of Naima's Book Boyfriends Box, we're releasing our first recap of The One That Got Away! We're up to episode 7 now on Patreon and this show only gets better from here!
Bonus content: worshipping at the altar of Anthony, breastfeeding with elastic boobs, and so much more!
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Hey HBs! IT'S OUR FIRST LIVE SHOW!!! Nat and Sara recap Halfway To The Grave by Jeaniene Frost. Boy does this Spike and Buffy homage not age well...
CWs: off-page sexual assault in the past, descriptions of kidnapping, illusions to sexual assault in the present, on-page drugging with the intention of sexual assault, slut shaming, sex trafficking, and the term "white slavery" is used to describe sex trafficking.
After this the public feed is going on a short hiatus. Call it a back-to-school break. Nothing is changing on Patreon! There will still be new episodes, fantastic author guests for book club, and maybe some new gifts/merch I'm scheming!! We'll come back rested, recentered, and refreshed!
Make sure to follow Sara and, if you want to be kind to yourself, READ HER BOOKS!
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Hey HBs! Sally Thorne is here! Bearing gifts! First, Angelika Frankenstein Makes Her Match (out Sept 6th, preorder now!). It's Sally's newest release, first historical, has all the sparkly Sally dialogue, and is the perfect spooky season read! Next, she introduced Sara and Mel to Howl's Moving Castle! Ehrrmehhhgeerrrrdddd it's SO GOOD. Are we now in love with a cartoon man? WHAT OF IT.
Bonus Content: Christian Bale saying "that's my girl" and "you're beautiful" are life-changing, Sally also LOVES the book this movie is based on, Hayao Miyazaki's genius, and so much more!
If you preorder Angelika Frankenstein Makes Her Match through The Ripped Bodice, you get a signed book plate, a post card, and a bookmark. PLUS, you get grandfathered into her launch event with CLo! It's a spooky slumber party!
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Hey y'all! Liz from the Make Out Already Podcast is here to chat about Reel by Kennedy Ryan! WOW this book is gorgeous! It's showbiz and glitz with beautiful commentary on art and creation and the fight. The fight for your life, for justice, for love.
Bonus Content: an episode of Behind the Bastards about the Twilight Zone movie, being a Chad with a B, rollerskating, juicy peaches, and being so petty your body would reject a kidney.
CW for illness, terminal illness, racism, cheating (in the past, not MCs), death of a loved one (in the past), and coworker romance.
Make sure to preorder Liz's debut romance novel HOW THAT MAKES YOU FEEL by Elle Diaz!
Come hang out with Sarah MacLean and I on Patreon! Monday, August 29th at 8pm!
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Hey y'all! EF Dodd is here to recap the 2018 movie Book Club! We had so much fun worshipping Jane Fonda's wardrobe, watching Murphy Brown make a romantic comeback with Mr. Holland's Opus, and yelling about terrible daughters!
Lady Loves:
EF: Fancy coffee makers and the best friends who support you in everything!
Mel: Paint your ceiling yellow and get the most florescent rug you've ever seen in your life... of whatever your equivalent is! Just make your space yours because it feels really great.
Make sure to check out EF's newest release EARNING IT! It comes out on August 23rd, 2022 and you can preorder it now!
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Hey HBs! Erin is here to recap Yuri on Ice with Charissa! Charissa is an amazing Competence Boner patron and at that level, you can record an episode with the host of your choice!
This is an extra huge treat because we get all of Erin's figure skating passion and expertise!
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Hey y'all! Nat and Sara are here to recap Things We Never Got Over by Lucy Score! It's book one in the Knockmeout series with runaway bride Naomi and bearded, bad-boy barber Knox. WHEW!
Bonus content: what would Stefan say about this book, small town books as fantasy, Nat keeps forgetting the sex, Yolanda has the worst timing, DING!
Lady Loves
Sara - Buy this kaftan/robe from Etsy!
Nat - Everything Bagel Alouette spread (buy it from Aldi of course)
Follow Sara everywhere (she's a fantastic, entertaining follow) and READ HER BOOKS! They're AMAZING.
Make sure to check out Mel's Kickstarter before it ends on Aug 11th, 2022!
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Hey HBs! Sarah MacLean and Jen Prokop from Fated Mates join Erin and Mel to talk about Burn For Me by Ilona Andrews! It's the first book in the Hidden Legacy series and BOY do we now understand what people mean when they talk about "Mad Rogan." YOWZA.
Bonus Content: sexy tortures, sexier loopholes, what we'll forgive for a fictional sociopath (everything), scapecows,"malls are the modern-day ballroom"--Sarah MacLean, in which mall store would we like to have an orgasm, the eroticism of the lava lamp, waterbeds, and so much more! Seriously though, tweet at us re: waterbeds.
Make sure to check out Fated Mates!
Mark your calendars for August 20th because Nat and Sara will be at Love's Sweet Arrow doing a live show for Bookstore Romance Day!!
AND make sure to check out Mel's KICKSTARTER!
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Hey HBs! Tanya is back to finish squeeing about Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase! Jess is one of the top heroines of all time!
Bonus Content: emotional appetites, Puerto Rican grandmothers, strategies for burglars, and Valor makes a cameo.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Tanya - Roxanne with Steve Martin and Daryl Hannah! It's a Cyrano de Bergerac retelling with a GIANT-nosed Steve Martin who's at the top of his comedy game.
Mel - SPEAKING OF STEVE MARTIN! Only Murders In The Building is such a good show! Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are so great together!
Check out Tanya's Interview and Vox article!! And Mel's Kickstarter!
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Hey HBs! Mel's best friend Tanya is here to recap Lord of Scoundrels with her! Boy does she love a schnoz on a man, so she was putty in Dane's hands.
Bonus Content: Mel's move mishaps, Tanya's assumed relationship status, racehorse names, *Bing Boong Bong* Tricks for Chinatown Shopping with Tanya, tarts and trollops, and so much more!
Check out Mel's KICKSTARTER! Launches tomorrow!
Next we'll be back with part 2!
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Hey pals! Mel, Nat, Holly, and Sara are here to finish up Fire Island! It's the best adaptation of Pride and Prejudice probably ever and we're dying of cute and sweet and witty and hot hot hot. But also, can we get a Max follow-up to this treasure??
Bonus Content: Do you time sex by an episode of chopped, or an episode of PJ Masks?, hot goggle summer, and MOAR TICK BIOLOGY!!!!
Check out the Happily Ever Afters for Hope anthology that Sara has a story in! All proceeds go to support UNICEF!
And check out Mel's Kickstarter!!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Sara: Heart stopper on Netflix!
Holly: the BBC podcast Unreal because being obsessed with reality TV is almost ubiquitous.
Nat: This T-Shirt from our Tee-Public shop! You can get any design in the women's cut and it's the softest fabric ever. I'm in love.
Mel: Channel the confident energy of Valor watching Star Wars while wearing her swim goggles.
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Hey everyone! Holly, Sara, Nat, and Mel are here to recap Fire Island on Hulu. And we loved it so much that it's gonna be two parts! This is the best adaptation of Pride and Prejudice ever (fight me).
Bonus Content: Nat's cheese pocket forever, Margaret Cho is here!, Quibi inside jokes, middle school attempts at flirting, rich people cheese, rewriting misogyny in daycare, how to prep for guests, Lyme disease is real, and being hot enough to be that annoying!!
Donate to an abortion fund here! And read this piece by Jessica Pickney about BIPOC activists paving the way in this arena as well.
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HEY HBs! Holly and Nat our here with Regarding the Duke by Grace Callaway! Our first AMNESIA BOOK. But, we have some content warnings. This book leans heavily on the fetishization of....Sultans. We were also surprised. So there is much discussion on the page of (consensual) sex slave role play and the white MMC role playing a sultan. We want you to go in with open eyes and ears.
Bonus Content: The worst kids that have ever been in a romance, Harry Kent (not a euphemism), female cow names, leaning into birthday weekends, and how nice it would be if someone made us a schedule everyday.
Lady Loves:
Holly - canned wine!
Nat - just forget vegetables and sleep for one weekend, because, HEY! It's your birthday.
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Oh heyyyy! Bree Hill from The Categorically Romance podcast and @bree.unabashedly on Instagram is here to help Mel recap The Best Man! Woo, this movie is soooo 1999 and it took us back. Terrence Howard is smizing all over the place, Tae Diggs is a commitment-phobic literary bro, and Sanaa Lathan voluntarily leaves a very luxurious bathtub! Plus, forehead kisses and Stevie Wonder dance breaks.
Make sure to check out The Categorically Romance podcast and follow Bree!
Lady Loves:
Bree: throw on an old sitcom and relax! The nostalgia really helps you turn off your brain.
Mel: the Women & ADHD podcast with Katy Weber! She's another woman who didn't get diagnosed until adulthood and all her guests are in the same boat. It's a unique perspective that's so validating as another woman who wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago!
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Helloooooooo! It's Mel's favorite time! It's ALIEN TIME!!! Boy are Nat and Mel here to piece together world-building that's been established over an entire series... because this is the final book! Mel still loved it, and it didn't quite overcome Nat's natural avoidance of alien romance. But wow there's some hot sex and WILD seeds planted for the next series!
Bonus Content:
Beer coozies with CHEESE POCKETS, miniscule alien technology, French tents, and so much more!
Lady Loves: The new all-romance pop-up bookstore in Canada Happily Ever After Books!!
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Oh hello! Mel's brother's wedding was the weekend before she moved her whole house and family and life. In other words, things are nuts over here! So you get an encore of A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest! Or, as we’re calling it, 50 Shades of Twilight: A Tale of Teenage Stockholm Syndrome. Full disclosure, we didn’t necessarily *like* this book, but we cannot wait to give you a hilarious after-school special about why we didn’t. We present a *very special episode* about what the kids are reading these days.
Self Love Recommendations:
- Watch Big Little Lies on HBO or something else where talented people are slaying the game.
- Listen to the last 15 minutes of The Ringer's Binge Mode. In the final episode there's a beautiful oration about not being ashamed for your interests and escapism. Plus, best friends gush about each other, which you know we LOVE!
Episode Notes:
If you like excellent vampire tales, be sure to check out American Vampire wherever you get your comics! Scott Snyder is the main writer and they've had arcs with Stephen King and more.
And quick *CORRECTION* from this episode, "women in refrigerators" or "getting refrigerated" began in the 90's with Green LANTERN, not Green Arrow. Either way, I think we can all agree that ladies should be fully formed characters instead of merely plot devices, right? Thank goodness even mainstream comics have seen the light since then!
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Julia Quinn, author of the Bridgerton Novels, stopped by Heaving Bosoms to chat all about MISS BUTTERWORTH AND THE MAD BARON! It's the new graphic novel that she and her late sister Violet Charles created together! Come here all about Violet Charles' art, the way they collaborated on this work, and tons of adorable details! It was an honor to talk to JQ and help to memorialize her incredibly talented sister.
Get an autographed copy (and adorable pigeon magnets) HERE.
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Here is part 2 of Annika Martin's The Billionaire's Wake-Up-Call Girl! Nat and Sara deep dive into what the definition of a "perfect summer walking skirt is", there are CUCUMBERY dicks(??), they still love this book, btw, and they will keep saying it, all throughout part 2.
Lady Loves:
Sara - two very bingeable shows: Crashing on Netflix featuring a manic pixie Jonathan Bailey and Starstruck on HBO Max where a normie has a one-night-stand with a celebrity.
Nat - Nguyen Coffee Supply, they are the best
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Bonkers Book Club for May and June!
Hey y'all! It's the perfect time to join the Bonkers Romance Book Club! In May, you get The One Month Boyfriend by Roxie Noir and Always Practice Safe Hex by Juliette Cross. In June, you can look forward to After Hours on Milagro Street by Angelina M. Lopez and Skin2 by Aveda Vice! Join the Temple of Defiant Joy at the Joy Bringer tier or higher to get these advanced copy ebooks!
Listen to Storybound!
Storybound is a radio theater program designed for the podcast age. In each episode, listeners will be treated to their favorite authors and writers reading some of their most impactful stories, designed with powerful and immersive sound environments. Brought to you by Lit Hub Radio and The Podglomerate.
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Ooooooh, Nat and Sara are here to recap The Billionaire's Wake-Up-Call Girl! This steamy contemporary has been on the list for a while and they do it justice! Plus, ferret stories!
Next week you get part 2, but PATRONS have access to the ep in full right now!
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Hey Pals, some shit has gone down in Erin's world and there's just no way she can be a main pillar of the podcast anymore. She's healthy, she'll be ok, but she needs to focus on her. So, she's still part of the community and she'll be back sporadically, but we can all support her by sending healing thoughts to Alaska and appreciating everything she's given us for the past 4 years. X-files clips and figure skating gossip wouldn't go amiss either.
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Hey HBs!!! Kenya Goree-Bell is here to recap the Netflix movie Really Love! Ooooh, an artist and a law student are falling in love in this moody indie film set in DC. And it's delicious!
Bonus Content: the glory of Michael Ealy, the artist mindset and struggle, rarefied air, waist beads, and the shenanigans that would go down if Kenya and Mel go to her Netflix Movie Premier together!
Make sure to check out The Kronic and the rest of the Mogul Series!
Lady Loves:
Mel: send your friends flowers. It doesn't have to be a romantic gesture!
Kenya: Call your friends and check on them! You can do a world of good and make people feel great just by showing you're thinking about them.
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Love the show? Leave a review!
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Oh heeeeyyyyyy! Sarah Wendell is back to finish up Morning Glory Milking Farm by CM Nascosta! Part 2 heats up hard!!! We've got more fantasy-world fetishes, an incredibly deliberate hero, great communication, and a climactic finish that's perfect in every way.
Bonus Content: public girl-code, firmly Millennial skills (google and horoscopes y'all), more Sarah/Mel Mythology, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: The Book of Life Soundtrack! It's soooo good! And Sarah dropped some serious knowledge when she told everyone that Placido Domingo is the opera ancestor! THE Placido Domingo!
Sarah: Rise of the Guardians! It's a gorgeous movie with a stacked voice actor cast (including Erin's beloved Chris Pine).
Make sure to check out Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, Smart Podcast, Trashy Books, and Sarah's new project Lovestruck Daily!
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Hey HBs! Sarah Wendell is here to swoon and geek the hell out with Melody. Did you think a book that's grounded in minotaur hand jobs would be an amazing example of structural organization, labor rights, and include layered feminist commentary on society's obsession with the phallus? ...you did? OMG you're a genius. We did not. But you get to hear us break down every stunning moment in part 1 of Morning Glory Milking Farm by CM Nascosta! Plus, like, minotaur testicles, dirt coffee, and lots of MANual stimulation ;)
Bonus Content: podcast compliments, the endless possibilities at "Smart Bosoms Milking Farm," the hallmarks of good fantasy, tooth trauma when pregnant, Princessglitterhead on tik tok, complicated mom relationships, fetishes in fantasy cultures, and so much more!
Go follow Sarah on Twitter, Instagram, check out the amazing Smart Bitches, Trashy Books website, and go listen to her podcast!!
Sarah and Mel teamed up recently for Bonkers Romance where they discussed A Lady of Rooksgrave Manor!
Make sure to check out our Patreon page to get access to our exclusive book club! Tessa Bailey will be joining us on April 29th!
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The boys are back in town! The Overdue Boys, that is! Craig and Andrew join us to recap Ali Hazelwood's The Love Hypothesis and we are delighted from start to finish. Get ready for Reylo parallels, Flintstones references, and Bing Boong Bong Higher Education Dollar Bills with Erin.
Bonus Content: Science Daddies pushing cars, the magnetic appeal of an adult orphan, a "miasma of misogyny," full pipettes, and so much more!
If you haven't yet, TREAT YOURSELF and listen to Overdue!
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
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Ohhh HELLOOOO! It's our St. Vincent's Day episode! Happy St. Vincent Day! All three bosoms are here to venerate Silver Fox St. Vincent, also known as the Duke of Kingston. What are names in England Times, anyway? Evie and St. Vincent's daughter has been widowed and her first event post-mourning is a wedding! Attended by her husband's childhood bully! Who turns out to be super hot and smart and meddling Sebastian loves him! Plus, SOUP.*
*not in the Winter Garden.
Bonus Content: We raised $3,660 for World Central Kitchen and Razom Emergency Response! Nat's a genius, Winterbone, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Nat: Make tortas from scratch!
Erin: Nope! Don't do your homework.
Melody: I'm using a blanket I made, but it's only half finished. So, finish your projects!
Make sure to check out our Tee-Public shop for new St. Vincent Day Merch!
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
In the lead up to our most hallowed holiday, St. Vincent's Day, we're releasing the episode where we were introduced to our favorite hero in the whole universe, Sebastian The Lord St. Vincent! This is part one, so buckle up for a wallflower, a marriage of convenience, and a first kiss! In the rain!
Bonus Content: Hiatus was so restful! (not), we would die and betray each other for St. Vincent, we're horrible, hypocritical St. Vincent apologists, what happens to the horses that you rent from inns?, Jack London's lasting legacy of traumatizing high schoolers, Erin realizes the plot of Pride and Prejudice via currency conversion, RAIN KISSES!, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: Chicken Nuggets. Seriously, they're for adults, too.
Melody: she reread Audre Lorde's A Burst of Light and Other Essays and she was struck once again by her self care quote: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Remember that about reading romance!
Over Hiatus:
Melody talked about Beach Read (and cults) on Make Out Already Pod
Erin and Mel joined Sarah and Amanda on Smart Podcast Trashy Books to recap Toxic Desire by Robin Lovett!
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Oh Hey HBs!
Nat and Erin are here with a M/M firefighter-chef romance. Which we really wanted to like. But unfortunately, it wasn't everything we wanted it to be. We're bringing you Melting Point by Kate Meader and it had so many things, and most of them were characters from other books.
Bonus content: shaking your THANG, #justiceforlombard, that one lone arm chair, is this how you take care of a concussion?, enthusiastic rimming (AGAIN!), and so much more.
Also we had an HB that offered to match our next $500 in donations through our Patreon fundraiser for Ukraine. Subscribe or upgrade your membership to get counted! Check it out on our PATREON!!
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Sara Whitney is here to geek out with Melody! We recap One True Pairing by Cathy Yardley and get to talk all about fandom, conventions, gothabilly style, and the Supernatural boys. There's grifting! It's SO FUN!!
Check out Sara's latest book Tempting Fate. It's a swoony second chance romance with grumpy/sunshine, second chance romance, and only. one. TENT. Yes, you read that right. Sara dialed it up to 11 on this one!
Lady Loves:
Sara: friendships that nourish us.
Melody: Tiny notebooks! ChicalooKate makes the cutest tiny notebooks, both fashioned after Heaving Bosoms and not!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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Hey y'all! Nat and Mel are here to recap Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall! It was one of the January ARCs for Bonkers Romance Book Club and it's SO FUN! This book manages to be a sweet, fast-paced romp that has hilarious hijinks and HOT sexy times. And the banter. The banter might slay you.
Lady Loves:
Nat: Athletic Non-Alcoholic beer
Mel: Pick up an old hobby! Mel's been crocheting again and it's meditative and feels super productive.
Make sure to check out our March Patreon fundraiser! We're doubling all contributions and donating them to World Central Kitchen!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
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Hey HBs! It's time for our annual Patreon fundraiser! This year, because the need is so immediate, we're going to front a donation in anticipation of at least matching the amount we've raised in the past! This week, we're donating $1,000 to Razom Emergency Response, an organization with a proven track record in Ukraine who are providing medical supplies and training to civilians on the ground.
Ukraine is the most pressing emergency right now, but it's by no means the only refugee crisis. So, at the end of the month, we'll donate the balance of monies raised to World Central Kitchen, who provide meals on the sites of refugee, humanitarian, and climate crises worldwide.
Here are the details:
From March 1st - 31st, 2022 we are doubling and donating all new and increased Patreon pledges.
New Pledges get doubled. So if you sign up as a $5 patron, we donate $10. If you sign up as a $50 patron, we donate $100! If you sign up as an annual patron to get the 10% discount, we double the amount for the first month, without applying the discount.
Increased Pledges get doubled as if you're a new patron. So, if you increase from $15 to $20, we don't double the $5 increase, we double it as if you're a brand new patron. So an increase to $20 nets a $40 donation! Once again, if you increase that on an annual basis to get our 10% discount, we donate the first month's amount without applying the discount.
Here are more organizations to support Ukraine, compiled by Valarie Kaur.
And if you want to support gender-affirming treatment for trans kids in Texas, check out these non-profits, starting with the Transgender Education Network of Texas.
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Oh hey pals! Sally Thorne joined Erin and Mel to recap the 90's masterpiece Untamed Heart. Marisa Tomei does a masterclass in turning an odd-ball role with questionable script choices into a stunning performance. And Christian Slater is very believable as a boy raised by a Baboon King (or ferrets).
CW: We discuss an attempted sexual assault that happens in the movie as well as the survivor's coping mechanisms afterward.
Bonus Content: Sally's next release Angelica Frankenstein Makes Her Match (out Sept 22, 2022), imprinting on movies, how is Marisa Tomei so perfect?, the revelation that is Rosie Perez and her dancing, So. Much. Smoking., underground lairs, magic vinyl records, and so much more!
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Hey HBs! Naima Simone is here! She and Mel gush about the most perfect movie in the whole world: Beyond the Lights! Between Gugu Mbatha-Raw (who sang the whole thing!), Minnie Driver, and Danny Glover, we were bowled over. Plus, parenting in pandemictimes, cackling until your stomach hurts, and rewatching movies for science.
CW: discussions of sexual assault that happen on screen
Lady Loves:
Mel AND Naima: This movie's soundtrack!!
Follow Naima: @naimasimoneauthor on all the things.
POST-EPISODE EDIT: A listener clued us in on some disturbing information regarding Nate Parker and Machine Gun Kelly that Mel and Naima didn't know about before this recording.
CW: rape, racism.
Nate Parker was charged for and subsequently acquitted of raping a fellow college student in 1999. His alleged co-offender was convicted of rape and later that conviction was overturned.
Machine Gun Kelly has a history of fetishizing Black women and making sexual comments about underaged girls.
These disappointing and disgusting facts would have definitely changed the tenor of our analysis had we known before.
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Hey HBs! We're back from hiatus! In this episode, Erin and Mel embrace a few more Reading Embrace finishers, chat about what Mel she read over hiatus, read some listener emails, and make a big announcement!
Bonus Content: porch goose shenanigans!
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Hey HBs! In this, the last week of our 2022 hiatus, we're celebrating the start of the Winter Olympics with part 1 of From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata! This ice skating enemies to lovers made us both do several swoons!
Bonus Content: the beautiful balance that is our opposite personalities, Melody has been attacked by new criminal mastermind TEAM: Rooster and GOAT, *Bing Boong Bong* Ice skating with Erin, *Bing Boong Bong* Butt Cheeks with Erin, Ivan is Queen Bird, big giant balls, *Bing Boong Bong* MORE figure skating with Erin, pouty pink lips, and so much more!
Housekeeping: We won't use Hapa anymore unless it's specifically for people who are half white and half Native Hawaiian. We'll stick with biracial, mixed, or multiracial in the future.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
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Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of Bully by Penelope Douglas. It's a new adult romance between middle-aged-sounding high schoolers who used to be best friends until he turned into a super villain and started bullying her. Listen, a lot of it didn't work for us, but the sexy times did. It was also an incredible vehicle for raceway noises, learning about arborists, and Melody climbing so high on an anti slut-shaming soap box that I doubt we'll ever see her again. If you want part 2, check out episode 88!
More Bonus Content:
Erin's got attitude, Mel's got disclaimers, Cult housekeeping, book recs are NEVER a reflection on the person who recommended them, name opinions, Melody cannot let go of all the girl-on-girl crime, *Bing Boong Bong Bird Click* What Are Arborists? with Erin, vrooom vrooom beep beep!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Melody: Please, please, PLEASE donate to The Yellowhammer Fund to help our sisters in Alabama and The National Network of Abortion Funds to help our sisters all over the nation access basic medical care and take charge of their reproductive futures.
Erin: ... Yasso Greek Yogurt Ice Cream Bars are super good!
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Make your life better and hire Natalie to assist you!!!
And follow our socials:
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Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Come enjoy part 1 of REBEL by Beverly Jenkins! We've got a teacher who's calling in life is to help as newly-free people learn to read and write as possible and the dashing Captain who just wants to support her dreams and love her forever and maybe do sex in a tree house that he built with is own two hands! This America Times book is as densely-packed with wisdom as it is with sizzling banter and inspiring content. To hear Part 2, check out episode 129!
Bonus Content: 50 points to Slytherin after Melody sings AGAIN, Melody is a MILF with an equally sexy new ride, Erin and Melody learn a ton more about Reconstruction (which is firmly in America Times), "your thing or my thing?", lobster bisque fiascos, and so much more!
Lady Loves: Social Distancing! Let's all to it (not) together! Seriously, stay in your house, wash your hands for 20 seconds VERY frequently, wipe all smooth surfaces down with disinfecting solution regularly, and consolidate grocery shopping as much as possible. Also, shop for the elderly! If you're older, let people shop for you! Have you ever wanted to do a Love Actually with the signs? Erin thinks that's how you should ask your elderly neighbor if they need groceries. It's firmly her idea and no one else's. But most of all, unless it's crucial, STAY IN YOUR HOUSE.
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Make your life better and hire Natalie to assist you!!!
And follow our socials:
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Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Hello from hiatus! We're here with Melody's obsession STRANGE LOVE by Ann Aguirre. An alien romance with a talking dog! Effortless inclusivity! A pairing competition that's as if Gladiator and Love Island had a baby! Consent boners abound! And once you're done with this, check out Ep. 146 for Part 2.
Bonus content: Melody gives Erin bad compliments and herself a haircut, a listener story about accidentally sharing Heaving Bosoms with a pink-haired goddess in a fast food drive through!, Chitin? is that "kitten?" is that "chitten?" IS IT "CHITLINS," the endless wonder that is a talking dog, a human who seriously rolls with the punches, for the first time ever Heaving Bosoms gives bad advice (re: alien toilets), the invention of ROPE??, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Melody: The L Word: Generation Q, chia seeds in your brown rice, and peanut butter cookies with chopped up peanut m&ms.
Erin: Monster cookies! They're dairy free and gluten free!
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Hey HBs! YOU CAME THROUGH AGAIN! AND YOU'RE GETTING SNUZZLED FOR IT! In today's episode Erin and Mel explain the embrace and then get down to the business of shouting out the hundreds of participants in this year's HB Reading Embrace! And good news: The 2022 Reading Embrace Categories are waiting for you!
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Hey y'all! It's time for an encore episode: Roller Girl by Vanessa North! We will be back next week with our annual Reading Embrace episode, but we think the best way to start 2022 is with this feel-good lesbian romance between a trans athlete and a plumber/roller derby coach. It's exactly what we need! Roller derby, tons of enthusiastic consent, low-stakes conflict, a whole gaggle of awesome side characters, the importance of lady friendship! This novella was a big yum, a big swoon, and a big heart soar!
Bonus Content: Erin knows so much about roller derby and Melody actually sobs with joy near the end.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Ann Aguirre is writing a HELIX ROMANCE called LOVE CODE and you can read it if you sign up for her newsletter! Helix romance! AI romance! Alien sex with head tentacles!
Melody: THE OLD GUARD. Is a beautiful Netflix action movie with Charlize Theron and Kiki Layne, plus a whole bunch of other super talented actors. Found family, incredible fight scenes, and the most beautiful romance subplot I've EVER SEEN. There is this declaration of love between Joe and Nicky that is so pure and deep and heartfelt that it knocked my socks off! Also the HIGHER LEARNING PODCAST with Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay. Every episode is pure gold. They use current events as a vehicle to talk about bigger subjects regarding race and Black culture. Subscribe now.
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Hey HBs! This week we're throwing out the script and subbing in The Hating Game movie! Life made reading hard recently, so we decided to treat ourselves to a visual delight! We loved this adaptation of Sally Thorne's debut masterpiece! If you want to hear what we thought of the book way back when, check out episodes 30 and 31.
Bonus Content: Erin's childhood bedroom, the euphemisms one must come up with when podcasting within earshot of one's parents, Melody falling over herself about paintball again, a "tactical non-turtle" that was NOT too tight, and Erin realizing how charming Lucy's Smurf obsession actually is right in front of us!
Episode Sponsors:
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Emily P, you are a distant relative of Mrs. Claus. You’re a cheerful and kind multitasker who doesn’t need public accolades or glory, but does it all for the good of the world. You can also bake a mean cookie and, if called upon, manage and care for every elf on the North Pole. But seriously, it’s 2021, step out from the shadow of Santa and make the world bow down at your extremely accomplished and humble feet.
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Oh it's Princess Switch 3, Switched into Infinity! That's right, Vanessa Hudgens is back as Stacey, Margaret, and the real star of the show: FIONA.
Bonus Content: Blonde Hairs the Lame Prince... same guy?, Beard Hairs the BFF is also there!, and our newest hero: Peter of the alive eyes and functional penis! Plus, A YODELER. Also, allow your friends their healthy boundaries, the 1999 movie Entrapment, Erin's eagle eyed decor commentary, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: Get your friends shit they deserve. Like a tiny sign that says "Let's all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don't fly" and a porch gnome!
Melody: Niu Ro Mien - yummy Taiwanese beef noodle stew! I also reference a chicken noodle soup my family makes with pickled radishes and ginger and dried gogi berries (I say "ginseng" in the episode because sometimes I'm an idiot) - those don't go in the beef noodle goodness!
Episode Sponsors:
Risky Restoration by EF Dodd - now in ebook!
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Hey HBs! It's our first Netflix Christmas movie of the year! Single All the Way is SO FUN! We bow down to Jennifer Coolidge and this lighthearted lovefest.
Bonus Content: Task Rabbiting, white Christmas trees, snuggling for Jesus, Rooster's quinceañera, Mel's (ice cold) hot takes on threesomes, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Swiffer Dusters??! What is this new techmologie?!
Erin: Christmas Inheritance! Has snow made out of shaving cream!
Episode Sponsors:
Risky Resoration by EF Dodd!
The Bookbundant Newsletter!!
Patreon Shout Out:
Ashley M., you are descended from Comet the reindeer. According to holidappy.com, Comet is laid back, super smart, and tenacious. People love him because he rolls with the punches, loves to make them laugh, and is always willing to lend a helping hand. Plus, you’re just as honest and fair as Comet is known to be. And while all of that is absolutely wonderful, you also soar through life, impressing others as much as a magical reindeer who can fly around the world visiting every child in 1 night.
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Happy Hanukkah, HBs! We've got a wonderful, zero-conflict novella that actually features Hanukkah. Like, on the page! It's truly wonderful, plus super super sexy!
Lady Loves:
Erin: A new ice scraper! Just buy one and your life will be better.
Melody: Therapy. That's it. That's the lady love.
Episode sponsors:
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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It's inspirational Thanksgiving romance time!!! This year we've got a virginal nurse and an amnesiac maybe criminal. And a mystery. And a PROWLER. Need we say more?
Bonus Content:
Amazing book cover photoshop, is it following your intuition or is it stalking?, how to make a hotel room more "homey," *Bing Boong Bong* Crime Times and Undercover Ops with Erin, answering the question "where should I take you?" with "What's a good first hole to try?!"
Lady Loves:
Melody: ....
Erin: Craft night with friends!
Episode Sponsors:
Read, Romance, Repeat subscription box from the Ripped Bodice! Perfect holiday gift!
Bookbundant! A great book deals newsletter!
Patreon Shout Out:
Marianna L., you are descended from Aidos, the greek goddess of shame, modesty, respect, and humility. One of the core tenets of your personality is to reject self-centeredness, arrogance, and egotism. Luckily, you’re wise enough to know that caring for yourself is not the same as being self-centered. I’m thankful that you’ve shed many of the cultural norms surrounding shame; while it’s a useful emotion with respect to doing harm to others, you know the difference between that and the puritanical shame that patriarchy likes to instill in everyone. Basically, you’re a good person who knows how to be a high achiever without letting that get to your head. We need more pals like you.
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Hey HBs! It's Thanksgiving week for us Americans! That means a special encore episode of a favorite Thanksgiving book! This one features an heiress determined to prove her worth in the Alaskan wilderness and a lawyer with *deep* *dark* *issues* who accidentally-on-purpose got lost in the wilderness. They're objectively terrible people!
CW: faith, specifically Christianity, is a huge topic in this book. We tried to be respectful of religion in general, while still comment on these characters and their actions. If we missed the mark, we apologize. It was unintentional.
Bonus Content: Erin gives us the skinny on the Anchorage Heiress scene, so much awesome *Bing Boong Bong* Wilderness/Camping/Alaska/Bear/Safety facts with Erin, Melody sings you a little diddy, a snowman called Parson Brown, and SO MUCH MORE.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Coffee and Quaq! It's an awesome podcast all about life as modern Alaskan Natives. Get the real story from people's lived experiences!
Melody: Dash and Lily on Netflix! IT'S SO GOOD!
Support Us by supporting our sponsors:
- Maggie Preston's Hearts of Louisiana series!
- Radish! Unlimited romance stories in a serialized format right from an app on your device, and it's free! Go to radish.social/hb to sign up today! By going through our link, you get a 12 coin bonus!!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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Hey HBs, Vanessa Zoltan joins us to chat all about Jane Eyre, the absence of Michael Fassbender's penis, and so much more!
Make sure to check out Vanessa's new book Praying with Jane Eyre and her Hot and Bothered podcast!
Bonus Content: deeply cock-in Fassbender, an exploration of how freeing the confines of a "cupboard" might be - just change your perspective, teens with a lot of emotions, that flipper man from the Hunger Games, THEN JUDY DENCH ARRIVED!, why fire training is important, why it's important to investigate that murder, how to learn about birds, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Vanessa - If you, like Vanessa, love watch-a-long podcasts, you should listen to Veronica Mars Investigations! It will fill the Veronica Mars hole in your life.
Erin - If you are a "lady of a certain age," you might appreciate rewatching the first Pirates of the Caribbean and taking a closer look at Commodore Norrington, the romance hero we all need.
Melody - If you need to, give yourself a bad haircut. You might need it off your neck, and that's ok, it may not look great in all media, but it will do the trick.
Episode Sponsors:
Love and Misfortune by Maggie Preston! Book 3 in her Hearts of Louisiana series brings us more of the steamy rom-com elements Maggie Preston is a master at, and mixes in some workplace tension!! Make sure to get this book.
Bookbundant is the best way to get your favorite book deals right in your inbox! Pick your genre, pick the frequency of the emails, and then wait for the deals to arrive! Bookbundant is female owned and is the home for romance lovers looking for a good deal!
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Bookish Merch IG : http://instagram.com/literarysouvenirs BTS Merch IG : https://instagram.com/btssouvenirs Twitter : https://twitter.com/abooktrotter
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs!!!!!! It's our annual Veteran's Day event! I hope you're ready for an action-packed ride complete with roof dives and murder yetis! Mission: Her Protection was a super fun romp with a scientist heroine and an extra secret special ops man who were friends as children and are reunited when an arctic mission goes very wrong. It's non-stop and served up some good sex scenes!
Bonus Content: Erin's new Classifications of Military Romance (#scientistsin2022), the rules of doing science in the arctic and jungle, *Bing Boong Bong* Motorcycle Safety with Erin, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: This season of What We Do In the Shadows is the best season of this show and maybe any show. IT'S SO GOOD!
Melody: External keyboards and mice. I'm not hunched over my laptop at my desk anymore and my body is so much happier!
Support for this episode comes from:
Second Chance Romance by Maggie Preston! Book 2 in her Hearts of Louisiana brings us more of the steamy rom-com elements Maggie Preston is a master at, and then adds a mystery!! Make sure to get this book.
Radish! Unlimited romance stories in a serialized format right from an app on your device, and it's free! Go to radish.social/hb to sign up today! By going through our link, you get a 12 coin bonus!!
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Patreon Shout Out:
Cora C., you were descended from Minerva. The Roman goddess of defensive warfare, justice, poetry, wisdom, weaving, trade, medicine, crafts, and more but at this point I’m too tired to soldier on. You come from a long lineage of multi taskers and jacks of all trade, but you also manage to master those you’re most passionate about. Minerva had her trusty owl, which symbolized wisdom and knowledge and through the generations that has evolved into a keen awareness of your surroundings. Even though you can’t turn your head 270 degrees, not many situations can catch you unawares.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Check out Literary Souvenirs for all your Bookish and BTS Merch!
Bookish Merch IG : http://instagram.com/literarysouvenirs BTS Merch IG : https://instagram.com/btssouvenirs Twitter : https://twitter.com/abooktrotter
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs, it's our first sexy ghost!!!! Come join us for Halloween Boo by Sarah Spade. It's a lovely tale of a ghost who falls in love with the woman who lives in the apartment he's haunting and gets the 24 hours of Halloween to become corporeal! He not only *gets* a boner, but he GETS TO USE IT! And Spade does a ton of fabulous references to Halloween classic Hocus Pocus.
Bonus Content:
The "Murder Smolder" TM, the naughty lobster who must be punished, Erin tells us about her ghost, how we (as opposed to the heroine) think about "reading romances," setting the mood for masturbation, how Melody is a Fuck Yeah Florence in that department, thawing ice cream?, swiping cum across your cleavage? Is that a hot?, The Halloween Boo Challenge, erections as medical miracles, "where is my lollipop boyfriend," and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: have you watched Practical Magic already? It's NOT WEIRD to watch it again or 5 more times if you need to! Also The Craft!
Melody: did you forget there was a lobster in Hocus Pocus? TIME FOR A REWATCH!
Make sure to support our episode sponsor SEX AND INSENSIBILITY by Maggie Preston. It! Has! Everything! Plus, super funny and sexy. And it's currently on sale for $0.99!!
Fill out our Listener Survey! #scientistsin2022
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Happy Spoooooky Season, HBs! We're recapping The Ex Hex by Erin Sterling! We've got a couple of witches, an accidental curse, and chemistry that hasn't diminished in the 9 years they've been apart. Second chance romance! Ghosts! Viagra potions gone wrong! Plus, witchy sisterhood wins the day! It's an HEA all around.
Bonus Content: Rooster's dreams are coming true, the decline of Erin's favorite fall show Halloween Wars, and so much more!
Check out the charity anthology to support Planned Parenthood and NARAL called Romance for Roe! Make a donation and get 36 romances to devour.
Fill out our Listener Survey! #scientistsin2022
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Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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Hey y'all! Clyve Rose joins Melody to recap the movie Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies! Come to England Times Zombie Apocalypse and do some deadly arts with us! Plus, the best version of the proposal/refusal scene that's ever been made.
Lady Loves:
Clyve: vintage lingerie and a hot bath.
Episode Sponsor: Radish! Unlimited romance stories in a serialized form, and it's free! Go to radish.social/hb to sign up today!
Make sure to check out Mel's new podcast Bonkers Romance!
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Happy 4th Podiversary, Listener! We're 4 years old! Also, American HBs, Happy Indigenous People's Day!
In this episode, Erin does her State of the Podcast address, we take a few listener questions, and Mel agonizes over combinations of F*ck/Marry/Kill that Erin has created. She's just as diabolical as always.
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! We so appreciate each and every one of you. Please fill out our survey so we can make the show even better!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey everyone! This week we've got a super sweet novella called Love's Serenade by Sheryl Lister. It wasn't a home run for us, but we loved being thoroughly steeped in 1920's Harlem as we watched Leigh and Miles find each other again. Plus, there were a ton of super impactful historical easter eggs throughout! And hot sex! It's part of the "Decades: A Journey of African American Romance" series.
Bonus Content: bedside chocolate, squirrels carrying another squirrel in it's mouth, we're famous, alcoholic mango chunks, Mel's drunk, rent parties, Langston Hughes and Zora Neale Hurston, Art Sculptures of the rural 1920s, "catch my farts," and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Mel: Bedside chocolate. What a lovely surprise! And using frozen mango chunks as ice cubes in cocktails. Yum!
Erin: The Scream franchise! They're 1/3 slasher film, 1/3 satire, and 1/3 straight up comedy.
Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :)
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Susan R you are descended from Kanaloa, a Hawaiian god known for being the spiritual leader of the underworld, a mysterious healer, and teacher of magic, who would most often take the form of an octopus, or he’e. Growing up, Kanaloa was my third favorite Hawaiian god behind Pele and Hi’iaka. And he might be the origin of my love for octopodes. In myths he is powerful, yet flexible, and can get out of any scrape he finds himself in. He’s the deity Hawaiians called on when wayfinding because he’s the navigator. He’s the subtle compliment to Hawaii’s chief god Kane. Don’t believe the haoles who say that Kanaloa is evil, or Hawaii’s devil. That’s some judeo-christian projection that happened after missionaries colonized the islands and started bastardizing their culture. He’s flexible, intelligent, and multifaceted, just like you.
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Hey HBs! Another friend is here! Jenny Nordbak joins Erin and Melody to discuss her new podcast Bonkers Romance and her romance debut HIS LEADING LADY. She's releasing a scorchingly hot contemporary romance about a Hollywood A-List actor who's trying to roughen up his squeaky clean image and an elite dominatrix who doesn't want the limelight, but can't help but be drawn to his mysterious charisma. There's fake dating and BDSM training and it's a book you absolutely have to read! Then, we recap Netflix rom-com He's All That, a gender bent remake of 90's treasure She's All That. Come play with us!
Bonus Content:
Matthew Lillard is a national treasure, wax play Jenny doesn't approve of, The Matrix vs. Big Hero Six, Mel's special "party backbend," Mel flexes her horse girl cred yet again, we image horse car washes, bestiality loopholes for centaur romances, and nutella. It's a ride!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Amazon's new musical Cinderella with Billy Porter. It's so delicious even while being extremely cringey.
Erin: Drive Me Crazy, the far superior gender-bent remake of She's All That with Melissa Joan Hart and Adrian Grenier's floppy curls. ALSO, it's spooky season! Enjoy being a pumpkinslut without shame!
Jenny: the podcast "I Will Teach You to Be Rich" with Ramit Sethi. It's real life couples talking about real life money issues, filled with specifics and marriage counseling.
Follow Jenny on Instagram and Twitter!
Check out Mel and Jenny's new podcast BONKERS ROMANCE!! You can subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And follow on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
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Marissa H, you are descended from Baldur, the Norse god known for his beauty, wisdom, and fairness. He was the god of joy, the summer sun, purity, and light. It’s said he was so charming and beautiful that he was literally radiant, giving off light. You have gotten so many of his traits, but wisdom and fairness are chief among them. Your purity of soul and efforts to help those you love make you radiate love from the inside.
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BONKERS ROMANCE IS BORN TODAY! Heaving Bosoms has a sister podcast! Mel's new team-up with Jenny Nordbak is barrels of fun, so check it out!
You can listen on all platforms!
Check out their website here
And make sure to tune in to episode 2: "Spider Shibari with Sierra Simone." Enjoy!
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Hey HBs! Alexis Daria is here to tell us all about her new release, A Lot Like Adios! It's the second in her Primas of Power series and IT'S DELICIOUS! Second chance romance, family redemption, fan fiction, and super steamy!!! It's everything we wanted and more. We get to cackle about Miss Congeniality and, even though it was *obviously* made 20 years ago, it holds up! Basically, ~we think it's goooorgeous, we want to kiiiiiss it, we want to smooooch it, we want to marrrryyyyyy it!~
Bonus Content: *Bing Boong Bong* FBI Times with Erin, federal manicurists, the magic of William Shatner's announcer voice, and the generation of young women who learned the SING method of self defense from this movie!
Lady Loves:
Alexis: Fable Bands. Headbands based on books!
Erin: Get your eyes checked (or whatever you're putting off). Do it!
Melody: Embrace whoever you need to be in this moment. Need to spend 3 days and emailing and calling school administrators and the entire school board to get a COVID safety plan published? Pull your hair back and get to it. You'll only find yourself *slightly* unrecognizable.
Make sure to follow Alexis Daria! Instagram | Twitter
Check out Mel's new podcast BONKERS ROMANCE!! You can subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And follow on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.
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Hey HBs! We're here with a delicious own voices category romance: Taking On The Billionaire by Robin Covington! Tess is a private investigator with a vendetta and penchant for giving everyone competence boners, especially her new client. Adam is a self-made billionaire and Native American man who was separated from his parents and siblings at the age of 6 by a racist child protection system, against the Indian Child Welfare Act. First, she found his siblings, now he needs her to find the mole who's sabotaging his company. They get hot and heavy, but she has secrets that could ruin their sizzling connection.
Bonus Content: we haz Tik Tok? NOPE! scintillating observatory stories, and so much more!
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Hey HB's! In honor of our second virtual book club on patreon, we're rereleasing Part 1 of Alyssa Cole's A Princess In Theory. It's Book 1 of her Reluctant Royals series and SUCH A GREAT READ. We've got Naledi Smith, a public health grad student with 3 jobs and a good head on her shoulders because she was a life-long foster kid and knows she can only rely on herself. Then there's Thabiso Moshoeshoe, her long-lost betrothed, an African Prince, and a person she's never even heard of. He's determined to find out why her family disappeared and was never heard from again, but when Naledi mistakes him for just a regular guy, Thabiso embarks on an elaborate plot in the name of getting to know her better.
If you want to listen to part 2 head to Ep. 52 in our back catalogue. And Melody also recapped Can't Escape Love with Sara Whitney in episode 80!
Bonus Content: Ember says goddamnit in front of his grandmother! We geek out over getting a DM response from THE ALYSSA COLE, Erin stumbles into the phrase "oiled up toddlers" (YEESH), Erin's tale of quitting dramatically, we swoon over the idea of experimenting with the tensile pressure of a beard on thighs, Melody waxes poetic about her Sex Ed Boner, Self-Assurance Boner, and Competency Boner. Erin worries about garlic, sleepy kisses. Melody expounds on the merits of a hot guy with a matriarchal religion. And Melody and Erin talk about the first "I love you's" they heard from their beaus. This is a doozy!
Lady Loves:
Melody: making friends as an adult is hard. So, if you meet someone you think you might connect with, do your best to push past the first few awkward pauses and see if there's something there! Melody met a woman who might turn out to be a great friend, but she wanted to take the escape hatch at every pause in their first conversation.
Erin: READ THIS BOOK.
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Hey HBs! This week Melody is joined by Kim Loraine, author of the Ryker Ranch series and audiobook producer! She brought us a delicious audiobook, HEART OF THORNS AND ROSES by Sarah Piper! There's Vampires, there's witches, there's demons, there's coma patients. The sex is hot and the consent is highly enthusiastic and sexily gotten. What more could you want?? There's *technically* not an HEA because this is the first in a trilogy, but we know these hotheads get there eventually.
Bonus Content:
Check out Kim's newest release, audio schmorgasbord All the Queens Men, a fantasy reverse harem with 7 narrators! Also available on KU! Plus, imposter syndrome, drooling over Shane East's voice, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Kim: Do what you need. She's taking a staycation because she's able and because she needs alone time to recharge. So, the fam stays home and she goes to a hotel to soak in the tub and write and get recentered!
Mel: Updos! Have you not washed your hair in 3 days? Well, grab some bobbypins and make it fancy!
Check Out Kim Loraine on the interwebs! She's on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok, too!
Subscribe! Rate! Review! Tell all your friends :)
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
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Hey beautiful Listener! We're back with Part 2 of The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson. Gah! It's so beautiful! In the second half we get to see these two crazy kids get together, break up, and come back to each other. And a ton of this occurs on a whimsical forest bed!
Bonus Content: doodles, more HS band hot takes, the logistics of a forest bed, cathartically slashing up a battered copy of Wuthering Heights, Tennessee Williams, and Jandy's follow up to this novel: a standalone thriller about a criminally voyeuristic innkeeper. Look, when we come up with ideas, they're just GOLD.
Lady Loves:
Melody: I got a NEW BRA!
Erin: Find the corner of tiktok where you get thirst videos of old-timey men. Maybe try #paulnewman or #marlonbrando and teach the algorithm to treat you right.
Episode sponsor: Sierra Simone's SAINT, the third full-length standalone in the PRIEST universe. It comes out on 9/7/2021. She promises more angst, more red hot sex, and more elevating the profane to the sacred than ever before! And if you're a Heaving Bosoms patron at the $10 tier and up, you get a free advance copy!
Check out The Rosecast! It's one of Melody's favorite podcasts recapping the Bachelor franchise. These long-distance best friends give me big HB vibes, if you replace our raunchy shenanigans with two sports-loving, good dudes.
Patreon Shout Out:
Andi M., you are descended from Lilith, one of the most ancient mystical figures in Judeo-Christian lore. She’s now known as the dark moon goddess in astrology and is associated with uncontrollable feminine vitality. Andi, you’re respected and revered in part because Lilith has always been so feared by the patriarchy. Anyone that ancient men deem demonic, I see as a badass of antiquity who had to be vilified lest she overpower them. So, you continue owning your sexuality, relying on the prudence and wisdom of your intuition, and being courageous in your demands of the world. That’s all Lilith asks.
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Check out Literary Souvenirs for all your Bookish and BTS Merch!
Bookish Merch IG : http://instagram.com/literarysouvenirs BTS Merch IG : https://instagram.com/btssouvenirs Twitter : https://twitter.com/abooktrotter
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! We're here with one of the most beautifully crafted books we've ever read. YA romance The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson is a gorgeous story of grief and young love. It's also time machine that had us reliving all the ridiculousness that is being a teenager. So, set those vague AIM away messages and strap in for a squee session!
CW: death of a sibling, navigating grief, and loss of a pregnancy.
Also CW for Erin's SCALDING hot takes on different instrument players. Sorry, French Horns.
Lady Loves:
Melody: The strawberries and blueberries I'm currently eating!
Erin: Gah..... it's hard over here. Sometimes there isn't a lady love.
Episode Sponsor:
Penelope's Paths by Isabelle Peterson
Patreon Shout Out:
Robin J, you are descended from Fauna, the roman goddess of woodlands, fields, flocks, and... fertility, which makes me think there’s some freak in there, too. Fauna was goddess to all creatures on earth, and if you’ve watched Netflix’s Absurd Planet documentary, you’ll know that’s both awe-inspiring, and truly, hilariously entertaining. Many forget, however, that she was also the goddess of prophecy, and that wisdom has served you and your loved ones well.
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Mentioned in this episode:
Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! We've got a special crossover episode this week! It's Overdue Bosoms! The guys from the Overdue podcast joined us to recap Moonglow by Kristen Callihan. We had a blast with Craig and Andrew, talking about Sherlock Holmes Times and werewerves.
Bonus Content: shepherding newbies into romance, Rent jokes, The Happening, Chekov's werewolf bite, Scottish Independence for Lycans, Erin getting sweaty explaining myriad supernatural lore, throne lounging, hand licking, and so much more!
Check out Overdue here.
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Hey HBs! This week we’ve got a fabulously bonkers historical romance, Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt. There’s a fancy blackmail-loving duke who’s been living in the walls of his house, a housekeeper who’s moonlighting in personal espionage, dick-out murders, wrist licking, kidnapping, exhibitionist baths, and SO MUCH MORE.
Big Content Warnings: child abuse (sexual, physical, and emotional), rape, pedophilia, animal abuse, and murder.
Bonus Content: dusty velvet bows, our adoration for a fancy man, HB's first Admiration Boner, and England Times Lanyards, to name a few.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Cats. They’re for petting and loving and companionship and laughing at them when they try and catch a laser pointer. They’re not for murder.
Melody: bonkers books in general. Get your romance friends together and rec some bonkerstown bananas books to each other. They feed the soul!
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Chantelle T, you can trace your lineage back to Dionysis. While most people only know about him being the god of wine, which is pretty great on it’s own with all the revelry and whatnot, we’ve recently learned there’s so much more. For one thing, Dionysis was associated with rebirth, with grape vines needing to be pruned back dramatically and going dormant in the winter in order to bear fruit again. That’s one reason you’re so good at pivoting when something doesn’t work out. Plus, I don’t know if you knew this, but Dionysis invented dolphins. I know, it shocked me, too. So, you’ve got some unexpected tricks up your sleeve even now.
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Hey y'all! Andie J. Christopher is here to talk about her new release Hot Under His Collar and recap the 2001 romcom Keeping the Faith! Are there problematic elements in the movie? Yes. Is the priest as hot as Andie's Father Patrick? Not quite. But this movie still f*cks! And should have ended with a throuple. We will both happily die on this hill.
Bonus Content:
WHERE IS OUR THROUPLE?!, racist Asian representation, emotional wall stands, bring back the f*ckiness of 2000's mid-budget romcoms, manifesting hot Australians, Andie's Formula One MMF novella in the works, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Andie: Formula 1: Drive to Survive. Basically a soap opera staring hot formula 1 drivers and it will be good to you!
Mel: The new She-Ra cartoon on Netflix! It's also for adults, it's a big empower, and there's lots of homoerotic energy! You need it!
Follow Andie! Instagram | Twitter | TikTok
Episode Sponsor:
The Queen of Second Chances by DM Barr. It's a sweet romcom about a woman working in a senior center and the overprotective attorney she wins over. Check it out ASAP!!
Indie Pod Promo:
Patreon Shout Out:
Cassidy L, you are descended from Hemera, the Greek primordial goddess of day. She has divine authority and control over fire, and can control the movement and rotation of the planets. Which means she can change the flow of day into night. So, you’re basically a flamethrowing superperson who’s capable of circadian manipulation. Plus, you’re goddamned bright in every single way. Sunshine personified.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Check out Literary Souvenirs for all your Bookish and BTS Merch!
Bookish Merch IG : http://instagram.com/literarysouvenirs BTS Merch IG : https://instagram.com/btssouvenirs Twitter : https://twitter.com/abooktrotter
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey y'all! It's Brooklynaire by Sarina Bowen part 2! Plus, Bat Cave musings, requests for super hero romances, pool floaty fart sounds, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: boy this low-sulfite hard cider is yummy!
Melody: Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver. It's a comfort listen and all the long vowel sounds are great for toddler singers.
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Hey HBs! It's time for part 1 of Brooklynaire by Sarina Bowen! We've got a hockey-loving office manager with a serious TBI and the billionaire boss who wants to take care of her. But will the increased proximity be too much for his years-long crush on her? PROBABLY! Listener, hot hot sex will ensue. That's our promise to you.
Bonus Content: how does Erin feel about THIS bathroom scenario??, Mel's toddler's new haircut, Raya and the Last Dragon, requiring receipts for self-proclaimed badassery, the badassery of palindromes, the ethics of bribing doctors for off-hours appointments, soundly beating your crush with a broken brain in scrabble, going against doctor's orders, being born as the feather duster from Beauty and the Beast, not being sexual harasser at work, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: homemade tahini dressing. YUM!
Erin: sinking into the familiar cadence and atmosphere of shows that are embedded in your soul to do a big calm.
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Hey HBs! Holly and Esther are here from the Wildly Tarot podcast! We chat all about their new book, The History of Tarot Art: Demystifying the Art and Arcana, Deck by Deck. They give you the real stories of the badass women, marriages, intrigue, and murder behind some of most famous tarot decks! It's available for preorder now!
And we recap Wolf Gone Wild by Juliette Cross! It's Holly's first werewolf book, and one we loved for every page.
Bonus Content: "wolves/werves/woofs," the inner wolf as another character, breaking down a tarot reading, ALL THAT ALPHA SEX, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Holly: This! Recording with people who started as online friends, who have now become so much more.
Esther: Water! Stay hydrated!
Melody: Find your weird thing! There's a man who loves riding his beach cruiser bicycle while blasting oldies all over my local park, who has truly found his bliss... and this podcast is mine!
Erin: Grilled cheese. You have the supplies; make the grilled cheese.
Follow Wildly Tarot: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
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Hey HB's! We heard BookTok made a revolutionary discovery recently, so we're here to celebrate all new readers of the Ice Planet Universe by rereleasing our chat about Barbarian's Mate, the 7th installment of the Ice Planet Barbarians series. As you know, it's Melody catnip: alien erotic romance! We've got Josie, the last of the original women to resonate, and Haeden, the grumpiest 7 foot blue alien a girl could ask for. But dudes! He's not grumpy! He's a secret cinnamon roll who just can't stop spilling in his loin cloth! This duke is a virgin and he's the virgin duke of her secret dreams. Make sure to subscribe to the Ice Planet Podcast as well, because Dani and her guests break down EVERY BOOK in the original series.
Bonus Content:
Our humble comments on the title (get @ us authors, we offer our services to all), new segment transition: *Beep Boop Bird Click*, IUD hijinks, taking someone to your FURS, faking farts to hide your true love, luxury caves, lady nectar, heavy balls, spurs, sexy papoose, and how to not be a Romeo.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Maybelline Super Stay Matte in Self Starter (which she now concedes is the best lipstick on the market)
Melody: Make good choices for yourself, like not furtively eating frosting with a spoon like a Gollum.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
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Hey y'all! Liz and Meg from Make Out Already podcast is here with Mel to recap feel good movie About Time!
Bonus Content: Star Wars pairings, Fleabag spoilers, Andie J. Christopher's upcoming release Hot Under His Collar, international treasure Bill Nighy and a veritable rolodex of English actors, Scrotal Recall (now called "Love Sick"), time travel via masturbation, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Liz: Olivia Rodrigo's "Sour" and all the MCU edits people are doing on Tik Tok!
Meg: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.
Mel: Like in the movie, enjoy the little things! We grilled for no reason and it was soooooooooo nice.
Follow Make Out Already! Twitter, Instagram
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Hey HBs, KATEE ROBERT is back! We're talking all about her newest release Neon Gods (a smoking hot Hades and Persephone retelling complete with BOASTFUL FLOORS) and recapping The Mummy Returns!
Bonus Content: The Rock before acting classes, those foxy dog heads, all that child endangerment and neglect, sand castle masterpieces, the real life sexy quotient of a falconer, the glory-hole of ancient Egypt, that CGI scorpion eyebrow, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Mel: scener.com for watch parties with any streaming platform!
Katee: The Calm app has sleep stories that are SO RELAXING.
Follow Katee on all the socials: Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook
Our PATREON fundraiser supporting AAPI Women Lead is still going until June 10th! We'll double all new and increased pledges and help uplift Asian American and Pacific Islander women!
Episode Sponsor: Historical Romance Retreat (Sept. 28-Oct 2, 2022)
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July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey Everyone! We're here with part 2 of The Duke Who Didn't by Courtney Milan! Chloe and Jeremy are the CUTEST and the SWOONIEST and we're completely enchanted. Chloe's going to learn to accept help in her quest to conquer the sauce world. Plus, a good old fashioned whoopsie-do to end up on top of each other on the ground, hot hot smooches, and sex!
Erin’s brilliance on Movie Briefs, maybe our idiocy here is a special Heaving Bosoms alchemy, lots of poop content? *grimace emoji* *shrug emoji*, Erin’s weird sleeping-in-public hangup, Erin’s (weird?) bathroom etiquette, THIS DUKE IS A VIRGIN!, a GOOD example of tree sex (with clothes on, like that time traveling frogs book), and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Our PATREON fundraiser supporting AAPI Women Lead is still going! We'll double all new and increased pledges and help uplift Asian American and Pacific Islander women!
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Patreon Shout Out: Valerie S, you are a descendent of Bia, the Greek goddess of force, power, and raw energy. While she was a right hand to Zeus, and definitely a background character, you’ve taken her powers and become a truly compelling protagonist. Your zest for life, energy to see every endeavor through, the power of your intellect, and the might of your will make you a force to be reckoned with. Luckily, you’re not using it to chain human-loving titans to rocks for the rest of eternity. We’re honored you’re on our team.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey everyone! We're here with The Duke Who Didn't by Courtney Milan! We LOVED this fabulous historical about an ambitious, list-loving heroine named Chloe Fong and the charismatic hero named Jeremy Yu who's come to convince her that he wants to marry her. Except, she doesn't know he's a Duke. She also has way too much to do trying to make her father's revenge sauce a roaring success and put the British colonists who took advantage of him out of business. But don't worry! They smooch!
Bonus content: Our Patreon fundraiser supporting AAPI Women Lead, the fact that Mary Jane Wells is an audio wonder, THAT AUTHOR’S NOTE, The Taiping Tianguo and Melody tripping over history she actually knows, Mel and Erin history right in front of you regarding trains and telegraphs and HARD FACTS, Erin implores all romance authors to be brave and DESCRIBE THE DIARRHEA, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: There's an update to Stardew Valley where there's an island and a new character that Erin was hoping she could woo, but is actually a child and she no longer wants to romance at all in his vicinity.
Melody: the Disney movie ABOMINABLE!!!! IT'S SO GOOOOOD! 3 kids help a baby yeti get back to Mount Everest and, while it does mean things involving the song "Fix You" there's also this blueberry scene that made my 5 year old and I literally fall on the floor laughing.
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Hey HBs! It's part 2 of Flirting with Forever! Mary and John and have a lot of misunderstandings, but BOY are they going to figure things out and rub up on each other. Sometimes they rub up on each other before things are technically figured out! Cara Bastone delivers a second half complete with silly (sexy) dancing, public clownfishing, and a sex scene that made Erin and I lose our minds. It's a must read AND listen!
Bonus Content: Rooster hangs out with Treestump Todd, Erin is ruined by this hero, Mel's stance on morning breath, lots of flailing over how good this book is, Mel thinks something pretty mundane is a varsity move, and so much more!
If you sign up for or increase your pledge to our patreon by June 10th, 2021, we will double it and donate to AAPI Women Lead!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Walking dinner! Cook you up some finger foods and eat on the go to soak up the nice weather. Ants can't catch you if you walk!
Erin: If that doesn't sound appealing, try recliner/electric blanket dinner. Watch out for danger coziness, though.
Episode Sponsor:
House of Hearts by Jaimee Bell! It's a realistic BDSM story that highlights deep caring, healing, and self-discovery.
Indie Podcast Promo: Literary Lushes
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Mentioned in this episode:
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey y'all! We're here with part one of Flirting with Forever by Cara Bastone! In this episode, Melody is a big nit-pick and Erin is an enthusiastic stan, but we both LOVED the book! We've got a grumpy Public Defender hero and a small business owning, ray of sunshine heroine. It's the first time Erin has seen her profession reflected back to her accurately and the hijinks are excellent overall.
Plus, we're doing a Patreon fundraiser this month! From May 10th until June 10th, 2021, we'll be doubling all new and increased pledges and donating it to AAPI Women Lead. Make sure to check out their organization and head to our patreon for tons of bonus content!
Bonus Content: Mel *didn't* forget her partner's birthday, Mel gets to live her giantess dreams, Erin doesn't love this role reversal, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: get you some vitamins! Don't let your bones turn to chalk!
Melody: get one of those world-between-books kits, build it, and then stomp past it yelling FEE FI FO FUM because you are a giant to them.
Episode Sponsor:
LOVE LETTER PAST - a monthly subscription that sends you real love letters between famous historical couples every month. Along with the letters you get additional notes that fill you in on the couple's background and history that impacted them. Sign up with the code HEAVING to get 20% off your first month!
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! We usually don't say this, but today, we truly read this book so you don't have to. DON'T BUY OR READ THIS BOOK. There's anti-Asian racism and fat shaming that we are NOT here for, and a whole passel of other issues. BUT Cole is here with Erin, so it's not all bad. They recap some golf/spy/olympics/inexplicable-it-couple/second chance romance that has really hilarious ideas about brand sponsorships involving communist dictatorships. Plus, a truly douchecanoe hero. Come have fun with them!
Bonus Content: Cole is here!, that time Alisha Rai said she knows who he is, eating messy sandwiches in a bathtub and then boning in that greasy bathwater and then coming like a freight train (and other misinformation that maligns Melody's character), and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Cole: Don't call your romantic partner "Pud," see NOBODY (the movie with Bob Odenkirk), and wow Butcher Box is good! Get you some Butcher Box!
Erin: Stop thinking you have to do things the hard way out of a sense of identity or pride, just get the gadget! Whether it's a snow blower or instant pot, it will make your life instantly better. If you can, just get the thing.
Episode Sponsor:
LOVE LETTER PAST - a monthly subscription that sends you real love letters between famous historical couples every month. Along with the letters you get additional notes that fill you in on the couple's background and history that impacted them. Sign up with the code HEAVING to get 20% off your first month!
If you want more Erin and Cole, check out their law movie podcast: Movie Briefs!
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! Brendan Fraser has gotten some well-deserved love on romance twitter of late, thanks to Charlotte Stein, so we're adding our own fawning to the pile! In this rerelease, Katee Robert joins Mel to recap The Mummy, chat all about what a hot Gryffindor Brendan Fraser is, what competence porn Rachel Weisz's character Evie is, and omg how sexy is that mummy, though, right?
Katee has TONS of amazing books you can read, like The Beast, Seducing My Guardian, Broderick, and Neon Gods!
Bonus Content:
The Beast and other Wicked Villains deliciousness, Katee's new series set in Olympus with retellings of Greek myths, Troy the movie and the impacts it had on Mel and Katee's romantic lives in the early aughts, how much we will forgive if you do something for love, #themummysowhite, Rick O'Connel drop the weapon and get in our pants, Evie how are you so competent and sexcellent?, holy wow the mummy is so hot, hey white people stop waking plagues and abusing locals, the Sleepy Colonizing Misogynist, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Katee: EMDR walks to help with stress
Melody: Vitamin C serum for your face
Hire Natalie to virtually assist you, AKA relieve your stress and fix your life! www.justasknat.co | [email protected] | Twitter | IG
Indie Podcast Shout Out: Teen Girl Talk
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Hey HBs! We have a special guest to recap The Highlander's Touch by Karen Marie Moning. It's a paranormal historical that is delightfully bonkers in all the best ways. Time travel! Immortality! Faeries! Virgins! Monster dicks! Medieval sex positivity! Throwing poop out windows! See? All the best ways.
Lauren joins us as part of the Romancing the Runoff fundraiser and we are OVER THE MOON that she has graced us with her wit and excellent reading taste. She's such a joy!
Lady Loves:
Lauren: Be a gracious loser and the podcast Threedom. It's helped get her through the pandemic.
Melody: Bend the rules for a good cause! Lauren was technically the runner up for our entry in the Romancing the Runoff auction, but we reached out to her to see if she wanted to match the donation and come on anyway. And WHAT A TREAT!
Episode Sponsor:
LOVE LETTER PAST - a monthly subscription that sends you real love letters between famous historical couples every month. Along with the letters you get additional notes that fill you in on the couple's background and history that impacted them. Sign up with the code HEAVING to get 20% off your first month!
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Patreon Shout Out:
Winnie L, you are an Undine, an ancient Greek water nymph who inspired the story of The Little Mermaid. You hang out in waterfalls and pools, and you are inextricably linked to water, which was believed to be a female element. You have a beautiful singing voice that is said to sound like moving water. Undines are inherently immortal, but they are born without a soul. An Undine can only acquire a soul by falling in love with a human, but to find her soul, she must sacrifice her immortality. If that isn't fodder for an epic fantasy romance, we don't know what is!
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! This week, we recap Slave to Sensation by Nalini Singh! It's the first book in her famous Psy-Changeling series. Sascha is a broken psy who feels things, and Lucas is a werepanter who needs to find the psy serial killer who's targeting vibrant werewomen. Plus, dream sex, snarlin', and so much more!
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey HBs! You're getting next week's episode early BECAUSE IT'S ST. VINCENT DAY! Jenny Nordbak and Andie J. Christopher join us to swoon over St. Vincent.
Topics Include:
- Why St. Vincent is the best
- How to celebrate St. Vincent Day
- Things St. Vincent would always do
- Casting
Bonus content: coziness, hydration, and spanking. We are who we are.
Find Jenny on the Wicked Wallflowers Club podcast and Andie on Instagram for her Drunk Romance History every Saturday!
If you haven't yet, check out our three part series on Devil In Winter, starting with episode 175. You'll learn so much about England Times money, horse girls, and snugglefucks.
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Alisha Rai is here to usher us into a Bollywood obsession! Band Baaja Baaraat is the perfect first-timer's movie. Two college kids decide to start a wedding planning business together with one condition: don't fall in love! Countless amazing montages, songs, dance numbers, and slow-motion-walks later, IT'S A GORGEOUS HEA!!!
Alisha also told us all about her newest release First Comes Like, which is the final book in her Modern Love series AND the exciting projects she's working on now! It's a must-listen.
Follow Alisha on all the socials Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok
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Patreon Shout Out:
Samantha D, you are Lampetia, an ancient Greek goddess who was the daughter of Helios and Neaera. You are the physical personification of light and positivity. You have a special soft spot for animals, and you were put in charge of guarding livestock. When Odysseus did some bullshit to your animals that we won't talk about, you threatened to take all the light to the underworld. And you know what? He didn't pull that shit again. But, hey girl, just between us, we've read some stuff about Hades, and taking a trip to the underworld might not be a bad idea just generally.
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Hey y'all! We're back with the conclusion to The Roommate by Rosie Danan! Their pleasure education website, shameless, is in production and these two crazy kids won't realize they're mutually pining. And the reader is mutually pining as a result! It's a swoon.
Bonus Content:
Erin is SO TIRED, Rooster burrowing in snow, Mel LOVES flip cup, Wet humping, Penguin Hygiene Facts, The Gals have a full-on fight over warm summer nights, Erin out-soapboxes Mel, falling in love over drawing on the table at restaurants, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Strength training so you don't randomly injure yourself!
Erin: Hey, if you gained some Pandemic Pounds, buy yourself some new clothes so you don't feel terrible. Just buy the clothes.
PARTNERSHIP:
Go to www.readromancerepeat.com and sign up for the April box with the code HEAVING. You'll get a one-of-a-kind Heaving Bosoms keychain! If you're already a subscriber and want a keychain included in your April box at no extra charge, email [email protected] and let them know! You must order by April 1st to get in on this!!!
Mentioned in this episode:
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
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Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of THE ROOMMATE by Rosie Danan! We each read this book over hiatus and LOVED IT, so we decided to cover it for y'all! We've got Clara, an East Coast blue blood who is completely scandal-averse, showing up in LA to finally woo her life-long crush. Great plan! Except that he's going on tour with his band (whoops!) and he's found her a roommate on craigslist. The roommate Josh turns out to be a mainstream porn star, utter dreamboat, and the man of her destiny! Y'all. This book. Heart eyes don't begin to cover it.
Bonus Content:
Erin’s bad decisions for celebrity friends regarding Crash Landing On You, tour van smells, goose sperms, we are on the record saying we’re NOT inviting dirty letters (!!), whimpers, sleepy boys, black hats/lists/balls/lists on hats?, calling sex "balling" *hork!*, being overly competitive, and so much more!
Lady loves:
Erin: In this time of great upheaval as we enter the vaccine stage of the pandemic, apply the rehab theory “do the next right thing.” It’s going to be harder, but it will work out better in the end.
Melody: *sobs* be kind to yourself. If you’re doing the best you can, and you do the next right thing, that’s all you can do, and that’s ok.
PARTNERSHIP:
Go to www.readromancerepeat.com and sign up for the April box with the code HEAVING. You'll get a one-of-a-kind Heaving Bosoms keychain! If you're already a subscriber and want a keychain included in your April box at no extra charge, email [email protected] and let them know! You must order by April 1st to get in on this!!!
Mentioned in this episode:
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Whoooaaaa! Lo of Christina Lauren and Kate Clayborn stopped by to introduce us to our brand new obsession, Crash Landing On You! This K-drama has already bewitched our minds and stolen our souls. Come with us as we recap episode one! We’ll be recapping the rest of the episode, one by one, on our Patreon!
Plus, we chat all about Kate’s new release LOVE AT FIRST. Mel loved it!
Bonus Content: Is this a retelling of Wizard of Oz? There was that time we didn’t realize Icecapade was a Christmas Carol retelling, husbands hear everything, especially when you’re stealing their m&ms, Erin’s new theory that tornadoes can use shovels and bury mines, the appeal of TALL men for Kate, helmets are such a buzzkill, and so much more!
Self Love Recommendations Erin: cauldron mugs from etsy! Kate: my houseplants! Lo: get your friends book birthday flowers, but accidentally send them to yourself! Melody: get your friends surprise gifts without telling them!
Follow Kate @kateclayborn and Christina Lauren @ChristinaLauren!
Episode Sponsors:
TALK DIRTY TO ME by Imogen Keeper. It’s a romantic suspense with a hitman (grumpy) and a writer (sunshine) that is HOT HOT HOT and keeps you on the edge of your seat!
The podcast COMA GIRL by Stephanie Bond. In this daily podcast, the victim of a tragic event lies in a hospital bed, at the mercy of friends and relatives who think she can't hear them. But she SO can. Get it anywhere you listen to podcasts!
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Patreon Shout Out:
Kendall HO, you are a Chalkydri, an ancient Greek angel who is mesmerizing to behold that you cannot look directly at it because you will be so enchanted and go insane. You are said to be all the colors of the rainbow, have the head of an alligator, and the feet and tails of a lion. You live near the Sun and announce the new day to all the other birds and flying creatures each day. Isn't that nice? Like a beautiful, gentle alarm clock of light and love. Thank you for all that you do.
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July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey Listener! This week Melody is joined by Dani from Black Chick Lit and Ice Planet Podcasts to recap the film Sylvie's Love. It stars Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomughda and is supported by Regé-Jean Page (from Bridgerton!), Aja Naomi King, and Eva Longoria! It is such a beautiful and cozy watch and it was everything we needed!
Bonus Content: New year, new president, holy vintage fashion, Batman, The Duke of Hastings is in this!, but Mel knew him from his lesser-known role as an ambitious prosecutor in We The People (weird flex), what is a French Light?, how say "saxophonist"?!, husband Lacey was Cato from the show Underground, silly champagne/fish sounds, ALIEN SEX BOOKS, and so much more!
Self-Love Recommendations (Lady Loves):
Dani: Playing Stardew Valley and creating Ice Planet Pod
Mel: an amazing musical podcast called In Strange Woods. It's like the best investigative podcast meets Broadway and she's obsessed.
Find Dani on Black Chick Lit and Ice Planet Pod. And the urban fic episode she references is here and fabulous. And Twitter: @blackchicklit, @iceplanetpod, and @Dani_Lacey
Episode Sponsor: Kensie's Treasures by JM Schneider. It's a romantic suspense novel set around a high-stakes treasure hunt! He also created playlists for the characters here.
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs, it's the fabulous conclusion to Devil In Winter by Lisa Kleypas! St. Vincent is a big hero and Evie is the perfect sickbed caretaker (shocking with her views on germs, I know!). And it was St. Vincent in the Billiards Room with the Cunnilingus!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Weighted scarf for anxiety care on the move
Erin: Stickers! Get 'em, stick 'em, they will brighten your day!
Episode Sponsor:
LOVEBUG by Erin Mallon. It's a romcom standalone with a sweet entomologist heroine and a gruff hero! You can hear an excerpt of the audio book at the end of the episode!
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Get more content on PATREON
GET LIMITED MERCH of "Stay Golden, Horny Girl!" until Feb 23, 2021. All proceeds benefit The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! It's The Lord St. Vincent PART 2! In which the marriage is CONSUMATED, they finish their roadtrip, Evie is in big danger, and the couple strikes a bargain: 3 months of celibacy for lifelong sexytimes and fidelity. Woo!
Bonus Content: Erin is "a reader" on Fated Mates because her twitter bio didn't include Heaving Bosoms, we plan St. Vincent Day (4/2!), we can't say the word dick, Mel's plan to seduce St. Vincent as the Michelin Man, the batman, Evie is an anti-masker, Melody is a Horse Girl, the gals give real good advice about space travel, and so much more!
Lady Loves: Melody: Don't fall for facebook ads about facial suckers that will give you hickeys! Face hickeys!
Erin: Coconut shrimp, no!, Chicken Fritta at the Olive Garden! Fried chicken on noodles!
Episode Sponsor: Warmer In the Winter, a new role playing game where you and your friends ARE IN A HALLMARK MOVIE. Go support the Kickstarter!
Follow @HEAapologist on twitter for more sick burns and romance enthusiasm!
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Get more content on PATREON
GET LIMITED MERCH of "Stay Golden, Horny Girl!" All proceeds benefit The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
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And follow our socials:
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
We're back from hiatus with the best book everrrr, Devil In Winter by Lisa Kleypas. We have been introduced to our favorite hero in the whole universe, Sebastian The Lord St. Vincent! This is part one, so buckle up for a wallflower, a marriage of convenience, and a first kiss! In the rain!
Bonus Content: Hiatus was so restful! (not), we would die and betray each other for St. Vincent, we're horrible, hypocritical St. Vincent apologists, what happens to the horses that you rent from inns?, Jack London's lasting legacy of traumatizing high schoolers, Erin realizes the plot of Pride and Prejudice via currency conversion, RAIN KISSES!, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: Chicken Nuggets. Seriously, they're for adults, too.
Melody: she reread Audre Lorde's A Burst of Light and Other Essays and she was struck once again by her self care quote: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Remember that about reading romance!
Over Hiatus:
Melody talked about Beach Read (and cults) on Make Out Already Pod
Erin and Mel joined Sarah and Amanda on Smart Podcast Trashy Books to recap Toxic Desire by Robin Lovett!
GET LIMITED MERCH inspired by that episode! All proceeds benefit The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
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Mentioned in this episode:
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You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
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Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Hey HBs! On this last week of hiatus, we're bringing you Tessa Dare's The Duchess Deal! This episode was the birth of recurring bits like Queen Bird, Darkwing Duke, Werecunt, and more. It was originally aired in 2 episodes, but you're getting the full experience in one shot! We've got a strong, survivor seamstress, a Duke marred by burn wounds, and a marriage of convenience turned redemptive love. This is Melody's favorite heroine and Erin's favorite hero from the brain of Tessa Dare. There's also a colorful cast of side characters including a street cat named Breeches. There's badminton, rain, a jailbreak, cursing in Shakespeare, and HOT HOT SEX.
Bonus content: the Alaskan phenomenon that is the drive up bikini coffee bar, burping on cue in the name of motherhood, Erin's thoroughly-researched grasp on historical time periods, and our vast knowledge of fireplaces. Does Melody know what animals are? Or sounds? And seriously, what does "make ready" mean in England times???
Alright, darlings, WERECUNTS UNITE!
Self love recommendations:
Erin: "You have to give up being perfect to be good, and give up being good to be free." Let that wash over you.
Melody: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
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Check out our Etsy Store!
Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Hey HBs, happy third week of hiatus! We're bringing one of our faves in the back catalogue. THE RED by Tiffany Reisz! It's an erotic fantasy novel about a fiery gallery owner who's in debt and on the brink of losing everything and the mysterious man who wants to help her save it... for a price. He's not interested in her soul, though, he wants her BODY. Yum!
Bonus Content: Ember's newest skill, Erin's trip to IL, wedding dress shopping, a discussion on using the term "whore" in the most empowering and delicious way, reclaiming the word cunt, and the segments *Bing Boong Bong* "safe sex work with Melody," "do your fucking job with Melody," "sex with mythical creatures with Erin," Melody's favorite alternate universe, and Erin's feelings on masquerade masks. Plus, MINOTAUR DONG. And does our podcast have a low-key new theme?
Strap in and maybe strap on. You're gonna need all your resources for this one.
Lady Loves:
Melody: Email or tween an author to tell them how much you love their work. Sometimes making other people feel great and know their worth is such a lovely pick-me-up.
Erin: To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Love Simon. Sunshine, rainbows, and feel good films! Get them in your brain!
Check out our recent guest spots on Smart Podcast Trashy Books and Make Out Already Pod!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Mentioned in this episode:
Check out our Etsy Store!
Hey y'all! We've got some high quality St. Vincent themed items just waiting for you!
Want more HB? Check out our PATREON!
You support us, plus you get access to 150+ bonus episodes, video of regular episodes, gifts, care packages, author hangs, votes in show content, and SO MUCH MORE!!!
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! This week we read After We Fall by Melanie Harlow. It's a contemporary novel with a soul-searching, rich girl heroine and an emotionally isolated widower who's still navigating symptoms of PTSD. There's a farm. There are attempts at chores. There are accidental meetings. There are dubious decisions outdoors. There's some peeping. There's some excellent dirty talk. And TREE SEX. Oh yes.
Bonus Content: Erin is SO SICK! Rooster's probable Telegram Company. The Alaskan State Fair. Our thoughts on dudes with pastel whale shorts, boat shoes, and a disgusting sense of entitlement. A discussion of how to be a friend. What are eggs? IS THAT A GOAT? Totally hypothetical advice about sex against a tree. And how Melody might employ gymnastics to coat your car in all sorts of nonsense if you don't offer her the bathroom after sex.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Consider taking the leash off. Erin was too scared to let Rooster off the leash for years and this weekend she proved herself to be an ecstatic off-road adventure dog! Your loved ones could surprise you.
Melody: Make sure you're registered to vote! We've got some important upcoming elections whether local, state, and national elections. Your voice matters!
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Hey HBs! It's week one of our winter hiatus! We're here with The Covert Captain, or A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira, a historical that's so historical, even two ladies who can read and understand Shakespeare couldn't quite decipher it a lot of the time. What we understood, we loved, though! It's about a Captain in the army with a Big Secret and the spinster with nothing to lose bonding over pianos, horses, promiscuous relations, and the idea that ladies are capable and worthwhile just as they are. Make sure to check out our back catalogue for the climactic finish in PART 2! It's episode 105.
Bonus Content: Melody's apologetic spoken word poem, frogs, *things* eating their own tails, secret passage ways, duckies (not), absconding via windows, diets of postage, and so much more.
Get more content on PATREON!
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Hey HBs! It's time for the 2020 HB Reading Embrace HUGFEST!!! That's right, you're about to get the congratulatory snuggle of your lifetime! In this episode, we explain the embrace, we explain the category origins, tell you what books popped up the most for each category, and then embrace ALL the participants!
Bonus Content: Erin's new BANGS, her husband's love for Taylor Swift, and so much more!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! It's time for Princess Switch: Switched Again! Vanessa Hudgens is back TIMES THREE to bring us more ridiculous Christmas antics. The gang is all here with Stacy and Prince Doofus, Marg and Kev the hot baker! Newcomers Serialkiller McSmirkface and MVP Fiona the Queen Bird also light up the movie!
Lady Loves: Erin: Dateline Podcast always has Keith Morrison read Christmas stories around this time of year!
Mel: The PMD clean, or something similar. Vibrate your cleansers and moisturizers into your face! You'll feel like a spa goddess!
Podcast Promo: Good Girls Talk About Sex!
And Erin and Cole's new venture: Movie Briefs!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey HBs! We're here with Mel's new favorite holiday novella Mangos & Mistletoe by Adriana Herrera! It's a novella set in the midst of a TV Christmas Baking Show where Kiskeya and Sully are competing.... AS A TEAM! With ONLY ONE BED! In SCOTLAND! Y'all there's a red hot Traditional Highlander Fingerbanging along with so much mouth-watering food descriptions as only Adriana Herrera can deliver. It's a big swoon.
Bonus Content:
Erin's adventures with the "darkness" button on her new toaster oven, she tells us what’s in the box of Lawman’s Christmas Boner (and it's NOT Gwenyth Paltrow’s head), Melody word smiths all over the place, you get a patented Mel-describes-a-super-sexy-sex-scene-in-a-pretty-non-sexy-way-and-with-no-notes (TM), Erin is hilariously triggered, and so much more.
Lady Love:
Erin: I fixed my figure skating foot pain by attaching the hooky-side of velcro to the tongue of my skate so the laces don't go into the grooves that develop over time. REVOLUTIONARY!
Sign up for Adriana Herrera's newsletter to get all her updates and that amazing cookbook we mention!
Episode Sponsor: The Dating Itinerary by Brooke Williams! It's a lovely enemie-to-lovers rom-com!
Indie Podcast Promo: Big Gay Fiction Podcast! GO SUBSCRIBE NOW!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
July 2022 Bonkers Book Club!
Join the Temple of Defiant Joy! July 2022 is offering you: the box set of Nicola Davidson's Surrey SFS series, Brutal Prince by Sophie Lark, and AUDIOBOOK Obsession by K. Lorrainne and Meg Anne, duet narration performed by Stella Hunter, Shane East, Aaron Shedlock, JF Harding, Jason Clarke, and James Joseph.
Hey HBs! It's the start of our Christmas movie/book extravaganza, and what better way to kick it off than with FAMOUS CELEBRITIES?! Christina and Lo of Christina Lauren join Erin and Melody to talk all about Netflix holiday movie Operation Christmas Drop! It's a delightful military propaganda film starring Bonnie from Vampire Diaries (Kat Graham) and Bjorn Irondside from Vikings (Alexander Ludwig). Plus, we chat about CLo's newest release In A Holidaze!
If you want video of this episode, check out our PATREON!
Lady Loves:
Mel: Nailed It Holiday 2020. In the words of Goddess Nicole Byer, Paul Scheer as a contestant is "a treat and a dream!"
Lo: K Dramas Crash Landing on You (Netflix) and Healer
Christina: 4th season of The Crown
Erin: Duke I’d like to F - if you’re in a reading slump it’ll get you right out of it because it’s SO GOOD and you can read in bite-sized pieces! HB Ushma has appropriately dubbed it “the thirstiest book of the year.”
Lo, again: Wow, No Thank You is also great for reading in bite-sized pieces
Episode Sponsors:
Choosing Theo by Victoria Aveline: alien abduction, matriarchal society, grumpy cinnamon roll, smart and curvy heroine, turgid consent boners, traditional highlander fingerbanging, an alien dog, AND SO MUCH MORE! Available exclusively on Kindle Unlimited!
Make Out Already Podcast: two friends chat romance books and other media from an intersectional feminist lens. Come for the romance and stay for the character tarot card readings! Find them on Instagram.
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Follow CLo on Twitter, Instagram, and in their FB group CLo and Friends!
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Oh hey HBs! It's almost the start of Hanukkah, so we wanted to read an appropriate book to honor the holiday! We chose Holiday by Candlelight by Laurel Greer because it was lauded as a Hanukkah triumph. But... while it has a Menorah on the cover, it's more of a Skiing Times book that happens in December? REGARDLESS, it's got Garnet, a holistic health specialist and avid skiier, Caleb, a half Jewish, half Japanese hero who is suffering from PTSD after getting caught in an avalanche. Boy are they hot, though!
Bonus Content: V's moose obsession, E's epic fart, Rooster's several businesses, and SO MUCH MORE.
Lady Loves:
Melody: Over the Moon on Disney+. It's a gorgeous story about a girl coping with the death of her mother in the face of her father moving on. It's an all Asian film with all Asian voice actors and Phillipa Soo hits notes that are swoon-worthy!
Erin: Melody released a Thanksgiving Groom parody song to the tune of Oh Holy Night on our Patreon that was HILARIOUS.
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're so thankful to and for you, listener, no matter where you're from. So why not stay in the Thanksgiving spirit?! We bring you a rerelease of THANKSGIVING by Janet Evanovich! It's a book we expected to love because we love Stephanie Plum so much, but were mostly confused, amused, and amazed by. Join us on this journey where two eccentric narcissists non sequitur each other into love. Maybe? We think? Thanksgiving is involved!
*if you'd like to advertise on Heaving Bosoms email [email protected] it's a pretty cheap!*
Bonus Content:
Hansel and Gretel jokes, Erin's drunken excursions into Colonial Williamsburg, old-timey dick joke hilarity, *Bing Boong Bong* Mandatory Reporters with Erin, nose obsessions, INSANE reading by Melody, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Listen to Wicked Wallflowers Club's episode with Angelina M. Lopez HERE! It's so empowering regarding how podcasting is one more way to celebrate romance and connect with other romance lovers. Angelina also opens up about her 20 year journey to becoming a romance author and it's an inspiring take on setting boundaries, embracing your limits, flexing your writing muscles in other, small ways, and then really committing when the time and idea are right. And I'm so thankful for our sister podcasts WWC, Fated Mates, and Black Chick Lit. We have been embraced by some truly brilliant and wonderful women and you should listen to them all!
Erin: ...have you heard of snack olives? They make these little packages of olives that are a tiny tasty treat.
If you want a bonus interview and some outtakes, head over to our Patreon!
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Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! It's Thanksgiving week for us Americans! That means special Thanksgiving books for you! This one features an heiress determined to prove her worth in the Alaskan wilderness and a lawyer with *deep* *dark* *issues* who accidentally-on-purpose got lost in the wilderness. They're objectively terrible people!
CW: faith, specifically Christianity, is a huge topic in this book. We tried to be respectful of religion in general, while still comment on these characters and their actions. If we missed the mark, we apologize. It was unintentional.
Bonus Content: Erin gives us the skinny on the Anchorage Heiress scene, so much awesome *Bing Boong Bong* Wilderness/Camping/Alaska/Bear/Safety facts with Erin, Melody sings you a little diddy, a snowman called Parson Brown, and SO MUCH MORE.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Coffee and Quaq! It's an awesome podcast all about life as modern Alaskan Natives. Get the real story from people's lived experiences!
Melody: Dash and Lily on Netflix! IT'S SO GOOD!
Check out the Novel Pairings Podcast!
HUGE Thank You to all our patrons! Find more bonus content and extra goodies on our PATREON
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! It's part 2 of In the Company of Women by Kate Christie! We get more WW2 Women's Army Corps goodness and an HEA! Plus, 1994 classic Nell, dumb inspirational posters, and more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: Tazo Dessert Tea in Lemon Loaf
Melody: exfoliate your whole body and the amazon playlist "music of the 2000s"
Patreon Shout Out:
Meredith H, you are descended from Marzanna, the polish goddess of Winter. I think of her as an old-timey Elsa. She’s often depicted while sewing, but I like to think of that as old-timey knitting. She’s a real opposites attract kind of gal, as she was the consort of Dazbog, the sun god. I think that just like you, Marzanna brought people together. She created the icy weather that brought families to their hearths to knit and play boardgames. She increased the hours with which people could spend quality time with those they love most, at home, or at their favorite yarn store. Plus, she’s powerful enough to create ice monsters and build ice fortresses, yet wise enough to overcome her self-loathing and fears to flourish in her family’s love. To hone her abilities and own her power. So you keep organizing your people to spend quality time and create change, whether it’s in the icy season, or when your modern Dazbog is inviting everyone outside.
Podcast Shout Out: A Healthy Curiosity
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Hey HBs! It's Veteran's Day! So, we're coming at you with a super sweet lesbian romance set in World War 2! It's a book that really immerses you in the times, plus lady smooching!
Bonus Content: we're a mess (no, but like, more than usual), tales of two Naval Grandpas, some live boundary setting, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: there's this new hairdryer brush that I love!
Melody: If you, like me, are doing the hard work of figuring out the right combination of meds, therapy, and mood boosters like exercise to make your life better, you're doing a great job!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALI! BRANDON AND HENRY LOVE YOU!!!!
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HEY VOTING HBs!!!!! It's election day and if you've cast your ballot already, we admire you!! Maybe you need something to listen to in the poll line! Maybe you want a treat for after you vote! Maybe you need some distraction from anxiety after you do everything under your control. WE'RE HERE FOR YOU!
In this Ask-A-Badass episode, Jessica teaches Natalie about cool librarian stuff, all the uses for Lavender. that there are different types of Ranch dressing, and so much more! We also find out that Natalie knows weird Joe Mangianello facts! Check out Jessica's library podcast here!
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Hey HBs! We've got a special episode brought to you by The Cigarette Burns Podcast! Erin and Cole chat all about Notting Hill!
“I’m just a girl…” Come to London, head over to the Travel Book Co., and fall in love with Anna and Will all over again as Cole and Erin break down Notting Hill. We take a long stroll down Portobello road and talk about who is the worst character, why Erin hates Anna and doesn’t want Hugh Grant looking directly into her eyes, and just how horrible Will’s flat smells. Get ready for hot takes, long clips, and deep dives into this classic romcom. Recommendations: Erin: The Replacements, Treme, Killing Me Softly, Palm Springs Cole: Mystic Pizza, Flatliners, Sense and Sensibility, About a Boy, Extreme Measures, Pirate Radio, Four Weddings and a Funeral, King Ralph
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Hey HBs, it's our first sexy ghost!!!! Come join us for Halloween Boo by Sarah Spade. It's a lovely tale of a ghost who falls in love with the woman who lives in the apartment he's haunting and gets the 24 hours of Halloween to become corporeal! He not only *gets* a boner, but he GETS TO USE IT! And Spade does a ton of fabulous references to Halloween classic Hocus Pocus.
Bonus Content:
The "Murder Smolder" TM, the naughty lobster who must be punished, Erin tells us about her ghost, how we (as opposed to the heroine) think about "reading romances," setting the mood for masturbation, how Melody is a Fuck Yeah Florence in that department, thawing ice cream?, swiping cum across your cleavage? Is that a hot?, The Halloween Boo Challenge, erections as medical miracles, "where is my lollipop boyfriend," and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: have you watched Practical Magic already? It's NOT WEIRD to watch it again or 5 more times if you need to! Also The Craft!
Melody: did you forget there was a lobster in Hocus Pocus? TIME FOR A REWATCH!
If you want a bonus interview and some outtakes, head over to our Patreon!
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Katie T., you are descended from Kupala, the Slavic goddess of herbs, sorcery, sex, and midsummer. She’s basically a deity who can do it all, and will, just like you! You’re the epitome of “competence boner.” A connector of people and a ride or die down bitch for those you love. So, grab your favorite herbs and spellbooks and celebrate the things you love no matter the season. Unlike Kupala, you’re not confined to summer alone. Since I met you on a gorgeous November day, I can attest that you’re a certified sexy beast no matter the season.
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Sarah Wendell is here! That's right, the resident Smart Bitch who loves Trashy Books is on Heaving Bosoms! She introduces Melody to the wonders that is the Lords of the Satyr series with NICHOLAS by Elizabeth Amber. It's a Paranormal Historical Erotic Romance that is nuts. It's so bonkers. It's got such a problematic tapestry of consent issues that Melody wasn't phased by at all. There are Fuck Sprites. There's double dicks and a bonus appendage that Sarah has hilariously dubbed "the zamboni of love." IT'S EVERYTHING MEL HAS EVER WANTED, purple prose and all!
LADY LOVES: Sarah: Give yourself a manicure! She has become quite proficient in PandemicTimes and gives herself weekly manicures. The bonus is that she's forced to STOP and relax while her nails dry.
Melody: Get yourself pumped up. When you don't want to complete a task, put on some Jock Jams and you will be ready to take on the world!
EPISODE SPONSOR: Debut nobel WHAT COMES AFTER by Blair Leigh. It's a heartfelt contemporary filled that tackles grief, anxiety, and is filled with tons of lady love and hope! Get it now!
PATREON SHOUT OUT:
Sylwia P, you are descended from Jezda, or Jezi Baba, a Polish wild woman goddess who was the epitome of creative and badass. Jezi Baba is portrayed as a witch who flies through the air in a mortar, using the pestle as the rudder. No one can follow her because she sweeps away her tracks using a broom made of human hair. Her house in the forest revolved around because it sat atop 3 pairs of chicken legs THAT DANCE. Look, you’re 30 now and that means truly embracing yourself. Turning 30 in 2020 gives you extra power. So, when things get overwhelming, lean into your Jezdaness. If those who approach you for help are pure of heart, feel free to expend your energy to make the world better. If they’re not pure of heart, or haven’t properly prepared themselves for your glory, EAT THEIR SOULS and use that extra energy to achieve your dreams. That nose piercing already signals to the world that you’re a weird and, if Jezi Baba taught us anything, it’s that there’s great power in not having fucks to give anymore.
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Hey HBs! We're here with Pestilence by Laura Thalassa. It's a romance between a regular-every-gal and one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. The plague-y one.
Big Content Warnings for plague, pandemic, sickness and death on the page, physical, emotional, and mental abuse, and descriptions of violence.
Bonus Content: VOTE! Vote early! Drop off your ballots! Or mail them! Woo!, Mel didn't remember the definition of pestilence, *Bing Boong Bong* Strategy and Apocalypse Plans with Erin, incomprehensible heavenly buttholes, Erin's excursion in a B&B that put the toilet IN the bedroom, the idea of horsemen trying to board an airplane to keep plaguing the world (but overseas), and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: CBD oil! It's helping with anxiety so much!
Erin: This article called An Evening of Carnal Delights As Envisioned By My 10-Year-Old Self
If you want a bonus interview and some outtakes, head over to our Patreon!
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Hey Listener, it's our 3rd Podiversary!!! You know what that means: it's time for Erin's State of the Podcast Address, emails from YOU, many rounds of Fuck Marry Kill, and more! Thank you so much for making this podcast what it is. The secret ingredient is love because of you.
Bonus Content: #intellectualismin2020 was a huge success, Ask-A-Badass rules, Ushma is an awesome new mod, Melody is a very enthusiastic side-kick, new podcast name: Shaking Boobies with Erin and Melody, Mic Bunnies, and SO MUCH MORE.
Episode Sponsor:
FOLLOW ME DARKLY by Helen Hardt! Publisher's Weekly said "Hardt spins erotic gold out of the undefined relationship between a dominant, emotionally distant Boston billionaire and a girl-next-door Midwesterner in the first romance of her Follow Me series," and that "readers who like their romance with a dominant and sexy edge will devour this addictive series launch." Book 1 ends with a cliffhanger!
Watch this HILARIOUS music video that is a loving tribute to our intolerances.
Check out all our merch designers and their awesome hustle!
- Rachel Ross and her apparel shop
- Juno Sunbear also writes erotica!
Outro Music by Sabrina B! Check out her song about romance tropes, too!
An HB wrote an article that was partially inspired by Heaving Bosoms!
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Hey HBs! It's part 2 of You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria. Jasmine and Ashton are navigating the perilous worlds of celebrity and love simultaneously and we just need these two crazy kids to work it out! Spoiler alert: they do! Beautifully!!
Bonus Content:
Melody need compliments GIVEM!!, big braless boobs in a romper, strawberry creams!, double fisting gin and tonics, threesomes = love triangles? That can't be right..., and Ashton's most famous role: "the Sheriff of My Vagina!"
Lady Loves:
Erin: it's #FatBearWeek at Katmai National Park! Vote on fattest bear! And watch Romi and Michelle's High School Reunion again! It's so good!
Melody: Make some time for yourself and your health, even if it means getting up at the ass crack of dawn. You deserve it!
Episode Sponsor:
FOLLOW ME DARKLY by Helen Hardt! Publisher's Weekly said "Hardt spins erotic gold out of the undefined relationship between a dominant, emotionally distant Boston billionaire and a girl-next-door Midwesterner in the first romance of her Follow Me series," and that "readers who like their romance with a dominant and sexy edge will devour this addictive series launch." Book 1 ends with a cliffhanger!
Patreon Shout Out:
Amanda B. you are The Tarasque, a fearsome, legendary dragon-like mythological hybrid that has a lion-like head, a turtle shell, bear-like claws, and a scaly scorpion tail. You have poison breath and some say that your eyes shoot flames, but mostly, people super love you. In France there is a whole town called Tarascon that pretty much worships you with parades and festivals. We don't blame them. You're incredibly cool and totally deserve it.
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Hey HBs! Were you in a reading slump? Well, you're not anymore! You Had Me at Hola is such a delicious, heartfelt, funny read from start to finish with some super hot sexytimes! Like, yes please! Come for the former soap opera and telenovela stars, but stay for one of the best narrative devices Melody has ever seen. READ THIS BOOK.
Bonus Content: Erin speaks Spanish, Melody narrated an audiobook!, Erin liberates her tits in front of you, Erin has a cider and enlists HBs to take notes on the book for her, David mountain bikes before a wedding and breaks all his bones, Melody struggles with the phrase "breakthrough role" and instead pantomimes a rocket for your ears, ABS ABS ABS DICK, private room karaoke pros and cons, the Disney show "Zoe and her Space Pants," and SO MUCH MORE.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Funny Or Die has a series where they tell you the plot of Telenovelas and show clips that's amazing.
Melody: Set up a video chat for your toddlers! Even if they've never met before!
Episode sponsor:
Always a Princess by Clyve Rose! It's an Englandtimes novel between a Romany Princess and an English Rake!
Podcast Shout Out!
The Black Romance Podcast is an absolute must listen! Host Julie Moody-Freeman is creating an oral history of Black romance by interviewing Black writers, editors, and other industry professionals about the history and experience of writing HEAs for Black characters. Follow her on twitter as well!
If you want a bonus interview and some outtakes, head over to our Patreon!
Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs. Hello! You're back for part 2! Will these two crazy kids make it? Oh you know they *do* but now we know so much more about the cars that get them there!
Big apologies for the recording issue we had. We love our fancy microphones for a reason.
Bonus content: Mel is the best song writer and knows a ton about back roads, the audio pronunciations made Erin feel right at home, cars cars cars, #justiceforrosalie, Twilight vampires poop either blood or plasma (you're welcome), Bella's wet dog scent really does it for Edward, Erin was a racecar for a while?!, and SO MUCH MORE. Seriously, this ep is jam-packed.
Lady Loves:
Erin: This article from Slate entitled "All 349 'Murmurs' in the Twilight Saga, Charted and Ranked." This important journalism brought her great joy. Also, scrunchies ARE back, damnit!
Melody: Bad Lip Reading videos of Twilight.
DONATE so the Quileute Tribe can Move to Higher Ground
Episode Sponsor: IGNITE by Kim Lorraine! It's a steamy, forbidden, age-gap contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes World. It's out now! Order!
Podcast Plug: Hot & Bothered is doing Twilight In Quarantine.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We've got part 1 of Midnight Sun for you! It's Twilight from Edward's perspective! In this edition, it's Twilight except with more burning stink and 400 extra pages of Rosalie conversations, teenage inner monologues, stalking, and... paintings. What a ball!
Bonus Content: Mel sets the pals up for failure, we're not yucking anyone's yums!, Bella is STINKY, Edward has a hard time figuring out boners, the Cullens still suck except worse, Erin brags about her "non-existent" "gag reflex" and her friend is not impressed, and compendiums (anthologies?). Plus "War Horniness? Is that a thing?" and other intellectual exercises with Melody.
Lady Loves:
Erin: 1. Scrunchies! You can wear them! They're back! 2. The Honest Trailer for Twilight. 3. and SNL's Firelight Sketch.
Melody: Alanis Morrissette was the musical guest on Jimmy Fallon and performed with her toddler!
Episode Sponsor: IGNITE by Kim Lorraine! It's a steamy, forbidden, age-gap contemporary romance written in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes World. It's out September 10th, so preorder now!
NEW MERCH!!!! Check out our brand new designs as well as our charity READ BLACK ROMANCE design. All proceeds in 2020 from that design will go to Color of Change. Rep Black romance!
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Bea Koch of The Ripped Bodice stopped by to chat about her debut book Mad & Bad: Real Heroines of the Regency, and reviewed the movie Belle with Melody! The movie is a gorgeous take on the life of Dido Elizabeth Belle, a biracial Black woman who was raised with the white half of her family during the Georgian era. And it's a BIG ROMANCE.
Bonus Content: Melody learned so much about Englandtimes through Bea's book!, Mary Seacole and her nursing efforts during the Crimean War, the notion of "historical accuracy" and how it's used against authors and characters of color in romance, Adriana Herrera now writing historicals, the beauty of Beverly Jenkins' bibliographies, the clippity-clop of a carriage at the start of every period movie, Grantchester and "fucking Amanda!!", sapiosexuality and... the sexual attraction to a person's morality??, Bea gives us the real deets about Dido and where the movie is firmly fiction, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Bea: Bake Star Bread, and do it with rainbow sprinkles!
Melody: the movie Seriously Single on Netflix! It's a South African rom com that is delightful from start to finish!
Buy Bea's book and learn so much! It's available everywhere and comes out 9/1/2020!
Follow Bea on Instagram and Twitter!
If you want a bonus interview and some outtakes, head over to our Patreon!
Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Instagram: @heavingbosoms
Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
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Kelli T., you are a bunyip, a water spirit native to Australia that takes the form of a giant starfish, swimming dog, a long-necked creature with a seal-like head, a nautical emu with feathers and claws, or a large alligator that swims like a frog. Look, it seems like you pretty look like whatever you want. Some say you eat crayfish, others say you eat humans. You live in rivers, swamps, lakes, and the ocean. Sometimes you live on land. Basically, you do whatever you want and you don't let anyone else define what you look like, what you eat, or where you live. You're a boss bitch living your best life, bunyip, and don't ever forget it.
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Hey HBs! We've gone to THE THEATRE with Act Like It by Lucy Parker. This enemies to lovers, fake relationship novel between two West End actors is a big swoon!
Bonus Content: Melody is a professional, Erin's mom needs us to discuss: why do dudes like it when ladies wear their shirts? What's that about?, ALERT ALERT circle the wagons it's time for a Vampire Diaries intervention with Erin!, actually-bad first kisses in an enemies-to-lovers, a fete! which we totally know, LOVERS OF GIANT VEGETABLES, re: Vampire Diaries - "it's good for me it's good for me it's fine. I'm fine. I'm under control and I'm fine!", Erin loves the way this hero feels about kids, the secret to good cuddles, having a complex about your hair smelling like pizza crusts, the charm of a fake out neg, Melody actually liked a montage sex scene and she's confused, *Bing Boong Bong* Logistics with Erin: how get all those m&ms on that fruit pie??, elusive Indian cooking shows, and so much more!
Lady Loves: Melody and Erin: This video of Mindy Kaling and Kamala Harris cooking Indian food!
And support the USPS! They have merch! Call your senators and reps! Get yourself some extra stamps! Support a vital portion of our democracy!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Patreon Shout Out:
Kirstin H., you are descended from Aletheia, the greek goddess of truth, sincerity, and becoming unhidden. In your professional life, you’re dedicated to helping people find out what happened to their loved ones and finding clues to help the truth come to light. In your personal life, with a little more time now that your training is done, you’re making the time to figure out what fills your heart and allows you to live the most authentic life possible. You have sincerity is spades and it makes you an excellent partner, friend, and confidant.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We needed a break, but we thought y'all should still have new content, so here is part 1 of our recap of the Lifetime thriller, PSYCHO STRIPPER! Come hear all about Symmetrical Blonde (which one? who knows!), Brown-Hair The Groom, Steroids the Douchcanoe, and so much more!
If you want part two, you can visit patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast and sign up for just $5 per month for all audio content and more!
Bonus Content: Body roll, body roll, body roll!, terrible drunk acting, justice for Black married actors, who wants their bachelorette party hosted at their job?!, #murderfart, and so much more!
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
For any longstanding HBs, Anthony S and Liz S have been a beacon of love, support, and kindness to each other and to the rest of the cult. Natalie discusses their romance journey with them. And then Anthony and Liz tell Natalie that there are genres other than romance (WHAT?!), talk about their quarantine cat, how it's hard to get married in 2020, and pretty much explain how they are the most adorable couple in the history of romance reading.
And join Heaving Bosoms Proper on Monday, August 17th for part 1 of Lifetime movie Psycho Stripper! #murderfart
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Hey HBs! We've got Pleasure by Eric Jerome Dickey for you. We have to be honest, this re-defines the term "hate episode." This is an erotica novel from the first person perspective of a woman, written by man. You wanted #intellectualismin2020 and HERE IT IS.
We are cognizant that, as two white women, we likely aren't the audience Eric Jerome Dickey was writing for. We had beta listeners give us feedback on this episode because we are sure we have blind spots to some themes in the book, but ultimately came to the conclusion that we should still publish the episode. If you loved this book or love this author, consider skipping this. We don't hold back on how much we disliked this novel.
The content contains a ton of potential triggers, all of which we discuss and read excerpts of. Here are some of the main CW's to look out for:
36:33-38:08 - Pedophilia, rape, and incest, as Melody discusses themes in Anais Nin's Delta of Venus, which we believe heavily influenced this work.
50:41-52:09 - Melody recaps a sexual assault described in the book.
1:38:15-1:39:22 - Erin reads an excerpt that includes graphic images of slavery and discusses how reading it impacted her.
Other content warnings which are woven through the discussion: homophobia, sexual violence, domestic violence, cavalier mentions of police brutality, incest, slut shaming, poverty shaming, sex work shaming, fat shaming, and one incident of Holocaust imagery.
There's one section where Erin talks about the Main Character's disdain for anyone who doesn't use proper grammar. While our discussion chalks it up to classism and linguistic discrimination, one of our beta listeners, Ashley, mentioned that respectability politics is likely also a big factor.
Bonus Content: Melody is sorry, the recent earthquake in CA was triggered by her flipping every table in the universe with her psychic rage, a mini history lesson on Anais Nin, linguistic discrimination and gatekeeping, nipple seeds and penis blooms, boob licks and lady friendship, a rant about Simone De Beauvoir, lots of ranting about gender essentialism, cholocate starfishes, angels ejaculating all over the earth, *Bing Boong Bong* Bear Safety with Erin, Erin's latest hard limit: sex that inconveniences the elderly, and SO. MUCH. MORE.
One important correction: the passage Erin reads that we say is a description of an orgasm is, in fact, a description of a thunderstorm. "In a daze, somewhere between sleep and consciousness, I became a voyeur, watching, imagining all the angels having simultaneous orgasms. Nonstop sonic booms created endless chills. Explosions rang out like orgasmic echoes. I was afraid of thunder, but it didn't scare me this time." And "The skies exploded. The reverberations of the naughty angels achieving simultaneous pleasures." In other words, it's EVEN GROSSER THAN WE THOUGHT. THUNDER IS ORGASM NOISES AND RAIN IS ANGEL EJACULATE AND ERIN IS FOREVER TRAUMATIZED. Also, this no longer contradicts Melody's assertion that most/all sexy and orgasmic imagery is negative, which is really the most important thing (HAH!).
Lady Loves:
Melody: Never Have I Ever on Netflix!! Mindy Kaling slayed once again with this heart felt, coming of age, sneaky romance!
Erin: The Vampire Diaries? Somehow she didn't watch it until now!
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey y'all! It's Roller Girl by Vanessa North! This feel-good lesbian romance between a trans athlete and a plumber/roller derby coach is exactly what we needed! Roller derby, tons of enthusiastic consent, low-stakes conflict, a whole gaggle of awesome side characters, the importance of lady friendship! This novella was a big yum, a big swoon, and a big heart soar!
Bonus Content: Erin knows so much about roller derby and Melody actually sobs with joy near the end.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Ann Aguirre is writing a HELIX ROMANCE called LOVE CODE and you can read it if you sign up for her newsletter! Helix romance! AI romance! Alien sex with head tentacles!
Melody: THE OLD GUARD. Is a beautiful Netflix action movie with Charlize Theron and Kiki Layne, plus a whole bunch of other super talented actors. Found family, incredible fight scenes, and the most beautiful romance subplot I've EVER SEEN. There is this declaration of love between Joe and Nicky that is so pure and deep and heartfelt that it knocked my socks off! Also the HIGHER LEARNING PODCAST with Van Lathan and Rachel Lindsay. Every episode is pure gold. They use current events as a vehicle to talk about bigger subjects regarding race and Black culture. Subscribe now.
PATREON SHOUT OUT:
Abigail C., you are a hakutaku, a Japanese creature with nine eyes and six horns, with the face of a human and the body of a lion. The hakutaku is said to be well-read and very intelligent. So intelligent, in fact, that you can see the future, using this skill to warn the masses of impending doom. You once predicted a deadly pandemic and gave the people talisman in your own image that would protect them from the disease. You have since been worshipped as a protector guardian spirit. *It should be said that hanging talismans of Abigail’s image on your wall is not an FDA-approved method of curing any disease. But it might cheer you up a bit.*
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! It's another boring episode of Heaving Bosoms..... AS IF!! Melody is joined by author Suzanne Park to recap the 1995 classic CLUELESS! Get ready for a big nostalgia recap! Check out Suzanne's work, The Perfect Escape, a YA rom-com and Loathe At First Sight, a sweet adult rom-com set in the video game industry with lots of enemies-to-lovers goodness (out August 18. 2020)..
Bonus Content:
Magic Mike in the Zombie Apocalypse, Mark Wahlberg is racist trash who has been convicted of multiple hate crimes and please don't forget it, is Clueless a teen dating How-To? Suzanne and I unfortunately thought so, *Bing Boong Bong* Fire Safety with Erin, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Insecure. The whole thing because Issa Rae and everyone else on the show are BRILLIANT, but the depiction of Andrew and Molly in seasons 3 and 4 made me the happiest. There's nothing like a hot Asian man being not only desirable, but desired on the big screen. And he delivers a spanking that will stay with me for the rest of my life. Plus, healthy conflict resolution and ... eventually healthy breaking up! Just competence boners all over the place.
Suzanne: Korean face masks! Holy Moly sheet masks are 20 mins of heaven on your face.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Patreon Shout Out:
Caitlyn K, you are a Chalkydri, an angelic species in Greek mythology who dwells near the sun. The sight of you is so mesmerizing that woodland creatures spontaneously break into song when they lay eyes on you, kind of like Snow White or Cinderella, except you have the head of a crocodile, the feet and tail of a lion, and twelve wings. You are also rainbow-colored. It is said that you wake every day with the sun, and sing a song, causing all the birds in the world to sing with you. You basically spread happiness and wonder wherever you go, so rock on you beautiful angel of positivity!
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Hey HBs! We're back with part 2 of Strange Love by Ann Aguirre! Beryl and Zylar have to get through the rest of The Choosing while overcoming Ryzven's egomaniacal antics at every turn! Plus, they figure out how to sex each other into oblivion and Snaps becomes a dog dad! It's so good!
Bonus Content: Erin tells us all about an encounter with Scuba Steve and we propose a book you need to write, Owen has made Erin more self-conscious, love languages, FREE FOR ALL!, Traditional Highlander Fingerbangings, river full of Hugh Jackman fantasies, controlled substance parties, and Erin and Melody chat pan and bisexuality as well as gender bias and pronouns and the effortless inclusivity in this book!
Lady Loves:
Erin: Palm Springs the new rom-com on Hulu! And also Never Have I Ever on Netflix!
Melody: Put some lentils in your Chili.
Episode Sponsor:
Rescue Me by Lauren Connolly! Reformed bad boy, awkward book editor, adorable rescue dog, and sexytimes in classic cars. HBs BUY THIS BOOK.
Amazon: https://smarturl.it/Forget1Amz Amazon Print: https://smarturl.it/Forget1AmzPrt BN: https://smarturl.it/Forget1BN Kobo: https://smarturl.it/Forget1Kobo Apple: https://smarturl.it/Forget1iBooks For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Hey HBs! We're here with Melody's new obsession STRANGE LOVE by Ann Aguirre! An alien romance with a talking dog! Effortless inclusivity! A pairing competition that's as if Gladiator had a baby with Love Island! Consent boners abound! Please, please take this 2 part breakdown as the gift it is and read this book!!
Bonus content: Melody gives Erin bad compliments and herself a haircut, a listener story about accidentally sharing Heaving Bosoms with a pink-haired goddess in a fast food drive through!, Chitin? is that "kitten?" is that "chitten?" IS IT "CHITLINS," the endless wonder that is a talking dog, a human who seriously rolls with the punches, for the first time ever Heaving Bosoms gives bad advice (re: alien toilets), the invention of ROPE??, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Melody: The L Word: Generation Q, chia seeds in your brown rice, and peanut butter cookies with chopped up peanut m&ms.
Erin: Monster cookies! They're dairy free and gluten free!
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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In this episode of Ask-A-Badass HB, Lauren and Nat have the longest (maybe?) lightning round to date. They talk about altitude baking changes, why it's important to diversify your media, what the sexiest belly button condiment is, and why writing is hard to have as your full time job!
Make sure to check out Lauren's books! And she does the Tik Tok! She rules! She gave justice to Fenella! #justiceforfenella
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This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to confirm the threat from The Hive is real and send back any and all intel and technology back to her superiors, all while not getting distracted by her two new, hot mates. That's right: TWO MATES! Will she be able to keep her heart from two warriors who want to share their love and devotion with her? Is appeasing her government really the best course of action? Can we do all of this with magical, orgasm-inducing semen as a factor? Are you ready for the Anal Training Box? Can we get a little more double-penetration up in here? Can I please have my own poop robot?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT QUESTION TO PRIORITIZE.
Bonus Content:
Erin remembers and becomes obsessed with the 1988 classic "Earth Girls are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans. It's a recurring theme. Erin recalls the time that eHarmony told her she had literally ZERO matches. No one at all in all the internet. We talk a lot about the merits of a good spy, what's appropriate for a medical examination after you've been reduced to pure energy, beamed across the universe, and then reassembled. We wonder how quiet a poop robot can really be, and generally squee over this book and all it's glory. We also have a hard time choosing a sign off, so you get them all! See our process in action!
Random Erin Rec: The Demonica Series by Larissa Ione. If you like an incubus, check it out!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Queer Eye Season 2 on Netflix. Watch it and cry with joy and goodness.
Melody: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Watch it and remember how funny and capable and fabulous you are.
If you haven't yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us! If you give us a 5 star review we will cover whatever book you recommend!
Also follow us on all the things!
Instagram: @heavingbosoms
Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast (page) and The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult (group)
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.heavingbosomspodcast.com
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Hey HBs! We're here with part two of The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe! It's got an incredible emotional arc AND the best ending for the characters! Plus, you know, hot hot sex that Melody needs to talk about in detail.
Bonus Content:
McFlurry Mulligans, McFlurry Stories, Nymphs and Satyrs, toddler parenting, Erin tries to gloss over a sex scene and Melody stops her RIGHT THERE, and so much more!
Podcast Shout Out:
Encyclopedia Womannica! Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts for 5 minute lessons on badass women throughout history!
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Hey HBs! Erin and Melody are here recapping The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe! It features feminist icon Florence "Fuck Yeah" Greene (thanks, JenReadsRomance), the most inconveniently huge and beautifully scarred hero Clayton Madden, and as many gamblings as England Times New York can offer! But really, uptown-debutante-comes-to-dark-souled-king-of-a-criminal-empire-to-ask-for-mentoring-about-running-an-illegal-casino is one of the best premises we've ever read. And SO HOT!
Bonus Content:
Erin hurt her foot!, Melody is frustrated by her town's Black Lives Matter response, we contemplate the alternate reality in which Clay doesn't start in a billiards-type poolhouse, but rather a cabana-boy-type poolhouse (now accepting fanfic), grafting??!, reading 4 Joanna Shupe books has turned Erin into a scholar of England Times New York (thanks, girl!), more Vocabulary Brilliance with Heaving Bosoms, platonic friends can be hot, #brotherstuff, #twinstuff, #yougetyourfreakonflorence, McFlurry Mulligans!, breakfast burritos in England Times New York, more! secret! passages!, and finally, "Getting Your Melody On?"
Here's a great roundup of orgs you can donate to and support Black Trans Lives.
Lady Loves:
Erin: if you need a brain break, trash internet is a great place to be! Listicles, quizzes, and more!
Melody: get you some endorphins. Get 'em. When the world is creating anxiety and stress, take care of yourself with some physical exertion!
Patreon Shout Out:
Elyse L., you are descended from Selene, the early Greek goddess of the moon. Ancient Origins said that Selene was as much a symbol of the glorious night as she was the proverbial light in the darkness. Not only are you that calm, thoughtful quiet often associated with the dark, You are often that safe harbor, that spot of brightness in dark times for those you love. Like the phases of the moon, Selene represents life’s constant changes, but, crucially, also provides stability in that cyclical fluctuation. And perhaps her greatest gift, was to allow mortals to dream while they slept. You take that a step further, though, helping those around you realize their dreams whenever you can.
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Hey HBs! We've got Barbarian's Choice here for you from The Ice Planet Podcast! Melody and Dani recap the all-alien book in which we get to see Farli, whom we've known since she was a teen, get her HEA!! We learn a ton about Sa-khui anatomy, more about the big wide universe, body modification (AKA dick piercing!), and so much more!
Make sure to check out the rest of the Ice Planet Podcast and Dani's main project, Black Chick Lit! If you want something close to Heaving Bosoms for your first experience, check out their 2-part coverage of Addicted by Zane (starts at episode 25!) and I also loved Episode 38 on My Sister, The Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite.
And follow them on twitter @iceplanetpod and @blackchicklit!
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Hey HBs! We're here with an episode of the Ice Planet Podcast on Heaving Bosoms! Dani graciously gave us permission to release our guest spots on our feed after ACOWAR, so what was supposed to be an April or early May release date is NOW! Come hear Dani and Erin chat about BARBARIAN'S HEART by Ruby Dixon. It's an Amnesia Times road trip book with some seriously *on fire* alien humor. (No tail! Hahahhaha!)
Check out both of Dani's shows: Ice Planet Podcast and Black Chick Lit. And follow them on twitter @iceplanetpod and @blackchicklit
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with the 5th and FINAL part of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas! We start with Elain's rescue, do lots of battles, SAVE THE WORLD, and end with sky sex (Melody is sure of it). Enjoy!
Bonus Content: Oreos are a finite resource in Erin's house, foxes wearing cute vests!, Erin hates on Feyre's new tramp stamp, Melody talks about HORNS, and Family Redemption!!!
Support Protesters by DONATING to Bail Funds all over the US.
HBs have started a new Book Club to learn more about internalized white supremacy and racial inequality. Join it!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Music from Nerd Out and treating this quarantine like the Ouro Boros. You might be seeing your worst self right now and radical self love is necessary.
Erin: Oreo-o Boros. If you're an eat-the-whole-package-of-Oreos-in-1-day kind of person, maybe put them in a slightly inconvenient place.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Here we are! We've got chapters 47-63 of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas for you! We reconvene at the end of the big meeting of the High Lords and Lady, see the wall finally fall, and get down to the business of doing some battles!
Bonus Content: bird bubbles, #bathtubproblems, Lady Bird Johnson's First Lady Agenda, Melody's outlandish wishes, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: THE GREAT! It's great! It's on Hulu.
Erin: Nothing games! Try Bead Sort and Just Mowing. They're no-stakes, never get any harder or easier, and are super zen.
Episode Sponsor:
Manifest Comics! Melody's partner Michael owns a comic shop in Bayonne, NJ and it's been closed with all non-essential businesses for a while. But fear not! You can shop online! Plus, you can donate reader bundles which get given to kids who are picking up free lunches from the school district!
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Hey HBs! It's part 3 (of 5) of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas! We just struck a deal with Kyr and his deathbringers, we're getting ready for the meeting of all the high lords, Nesta hates everything, Elain needs a healer for her haunted ramblings, Lucien fucks off to the continent, and we have the meeting! Shit goes sideways! Plus, we confirm that Illyrian wings have special erogenous zones, so #scrotalwings has been solved. whew
Bonus Content: "worms" is so fun to say, we introduce the scariest Obi Wan Kenobi (AKA the Sarlacc), and Melody recaps a battle! It's a big one!
Episode Sponsor:
Love, Art, and Other Obstacles by Sadira Stone! It's out now! GET YOUR COPY!
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
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Greetings, HBs, from the 4 walls of our homes to the 4 walls of yours! In this episode, we cover chapters 11-27 of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas! Feyre and Lucien go on a freezing danger roadtrip, Feyre gets a taste for Eris's ropes of fire, Lucien gets super abandoned in Velaris so Feyre can do some reunited boning with her one true love, Nesta is (shockingly) an even bigger bitch, Amren is still a sexy monster (but now with books!), we still can't decipher what, exactly, Rhysand's role is, and the gang is trying to save that wall! The fate of Perineum depends on it!
Bonus Content: Erin needs to apologize to you (she doesn't), it's #QuarantineTimes and HB is reflecting that, we go to the Autumn Court and it's #allbasicallthetime, Erin is a super hot task master and Melody doesn't care, Erin's got PIPING HOT TAKES, and #justiceforeris and his flaming ball gag? Plus, so much more! We really want to do the brilliance of SJM and our love for the books justice, while still remaining our goofy selves, so we're not sure how many parts this will be. Strap in and strap on, everyone!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Dye your eyebrows if you face needs more definition without effort every day!
Erin: Get into the trashiest reality TV you can find, like the dirty raccoon you are!
Episode Sponsor:
THE SINNER by JR Ward! It's #18 in her Black Dagger Brotherhood Series.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! You asked for it (so many times!) and so IT'S HERE! This is the start of our recap of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas! We cover Part 1: Princess of Carrion (Chapters 1-10), in which Feyre is Rhysand's High Lady AND SPY!
Bonus Content: creepy kid stuff, Bing Boong Bong That’s Revisionist History Feyre with Erin, Melody eats up all of Feyre’s sexy spy times with a shovel, Schmerger (Ianthe) gets some Black Friday sex, more #justicefortamlin nonsense from Erin, Erin gets hot with Firefly references, Heaving Bosoms stands against hand lickers and apple peelers, Schmerger gets some Demon Tea retribution, and Melody recaps a fight.
Lady Loves:
Melody: Channel Valor and have some Whoa Time
Erin: Lucky Charm Icecream!
Episode Sponsor: The Honey Don't List by Christina Lauren! It's a must-buy rom com about two assistants who need to keep their bosses together and feel an attraction to each other that is enemies to lovers goodness! It's out now so treat yourself! For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Jen and Nat talk about paranormal romance, why romance is the answer for an escape, how Jen is the human embodiment of Lady Love, that being a librarian is like being the best kind of enabler and the best thought out condiment answer in the history of ABA!
And on Monday, May 4th, we've got part 1 of A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas! *squeee!!*
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Hey HBs! In this episode, Erin and Cole watch Erin's favorite, the classic 80s romance adventure movie, Romancing the Stone, with *lots* of movie trivia!
Bonus Content: quarantine hairstyles, roll butter, child-kidnappers, Cole's fear of snakes (especially cockpit vipers), and #justiceforzolo.
Lady Loves: no pressure quaratines, the sexy Kathleen Turner thriller Body Heat, and putting your orthopedic insoles in your quarantine slippers!
Episode Sponsor:
THE SINNER by JR Ward! It's #18 in her Black Dagger Brotherhood Series.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Mel is sick, so Erin is joined by guest host Sara Whitney! Join them as they recap Never Been Kissed, which we think might be a retelling of As You Like It? WHO KNEW?! But mostly, they talk about Drew Barrymore's high school fashion, her ~infamous~ pet turtle, Mr. Coolness* and his days on Alias, real journalism, and the jungle that is parking in high school IRL. *ok it's technically "Coulson," but gimme this one! Make sure to check out Sara's Tempt Me Series! Episode Sponsor: The Honey Don't List by Christina Lauren! It's a must-buy rom com about two assistants who need to keep their bosses together and feel an attraction to each other that is enemies to lovers goodness! It's out now so treat yourself! For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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And follow our socials:
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Holy tits, HBs! KATEE ROBERT IS HERE! It's Katee Robert! Melody joins Katee to recap The Mummy! Why yes, this is such a big deal that Mel feels Katee deserves top billing on her own podcast. Woo! They recap The Mummy together and chat all about what a hot Gryffindor Brendan Fraser is and what competence porn Rachel Weisz's character Evie is and omg how sexy is that mummy, though, right?
The Beast comes out TODAY and you NEED IT. Hurry. Click the link!
Bonus Content:
The Beast and other Wicked Villains deliciousness, Katee's new series set in Olympus with retellings of Greek myths, Troy the movie and the impacts it had on Mel and Katee's romantic lives in the early aughts, how much we will forgive if you do something for love, #themummysowhite, Rick O'Connel drop the weapon and get in our pants, Evie how are you so competent and sexcellent?, holy wow the mummy is so hot, hey white people stop waking plagues and abusing locals, the Sleepy Colonizing Misogynist, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Katee: EMDR walks to help with stress
Melody: Vitamin C serum for your face
Episode Sponsor:
THE SINNER by JR Ward! It's #18 in her Black Dagger Brotherhood Series.
Patreon Shout Out:
Madison W., you are a cockatrice, a majestic two-legged dragon with a rooster's head. You are a feared and powerful beast. Closely related to the basilisk, the death-darting eye of the cockatrice can kill a man with just a glance. To hatch a cockatrice, a seven-year-old rooster must lay an egg under a full moon, and a serpent must care for the egg for nine years. This very complicated hatching system has made you one of the rarest creatures in all of mythology. You've actually become so famous and legendary that you appear in the Bible and Shakespeare and Harry Potter. The only weakness you have is the call of a rooster, so don't go anywhere near Erin's house.
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Nat talks to Aicha M about a lot of things that had to be cut for time (Covid19, GBBO, etc), but they cover why Lisa Kleypas is the QUEEN, why swearing just feels SO GOOD, why kids are the worst, and maybe other things, INCLUDING a very spicy answer to the condiment question!
And don't miss our episode on Monday, April 13th because there's a special guest! KATEE ROBERT (ahhhhh!!!!) joins Melody to recap The Mummy and talk about her new release THE BEAST.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! This formerly patreon-only content is here for your perverted consumption because it's what we can offer you in these dark times! And perverted is *obviously* a positive descriptor. We love your perverted butts as much as we love our own.
Stay safe in there!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Holy Cats, HBs! We've got the second half of Even Odds by Elia Winters for you! Isabel and Caleb are now working in the same office and forced proximity is a beautiful thing! Plus, just like we promised... clit touchin'!
Bonus Content: Rooster has lice, Rooster tries to profit off of newly homeless lice, how do you get a hold of a woman if you have both her email address and phone number?!, IKEA with Erin and Melody, aureole vs. areola, handling racist parents, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: molded eye masks! Don't wake up with a headache because your flat sleep mask has been pressing your eyeballs into your skull. Get you a molded one instead!
Erin: if you can't find rice because people are stockpiling, check out the dried goods area because Rice-A-Roni is usually still available!
Episode Sponsor:
The Honey Don't List by Christina Lauren! It's a must-buy rom com about two assistants who need to keep their bosses together and feel an attraction to each other that is enemies to lovers goodness! It's out now so treat yourself!
Patreon Shout Out:
Nic C., you are descended from Hebe, the greek goddess of youth and cupbearer of Mount Olympus. As cupbearer, she served her fellow gods all their nectar and ambrosia, which kept them eternally young. Like Hebe, you are young at heart and love to bring that positive, wide-eyed energy to every group you encounter. Hebe had a heart for service and embodied the prime of life and those are qualities you have, and will, carry with you no matter your age. My personal theory is that she stayed so young because of her optimism and the fact that she couldn’t hold a grudge; she was worshipped as a goddess of forgiveness and mercy, so you have that going for you, too. Also, one of her titles directly translated to “Gladdening Princess” and I can’t think of a better title for someone who wears a fashion hat while delivering creative repartee and good vibes.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
Subscribe! Rate! Review!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of Even Odds by Elia Winters! It's a sweet contemporary romance about two game designers who may also bring some gameplay into the bedroom... and the office!
CW: discussions of sexual harassment in the workplace
Bonus Content: the baby ate Melody's headphones, a Tim Gunn start to a romance, *Bing Boong Bong* Travel Sized Sex Toys, is Erin the Caleb of Heaving Bosoms?, the secret to getting a person to love you: see snow for the first time!, unpacking vs NOT in hotel rooms, the dirtiest hotel room Erin has ever encountered, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Mutual masturbation! In these strange, dark times, you can still get your sexy on while skipping the swapping of body fluids! Just post up around 6 ft. away from your partner and engage in some play that way.
Erin: Self Care the App Game! It lets you pretend like you're spending all day in bed while engaging in self-care activities like breathing exercises and more!
Episode Sponsor:
THE SINNER by JR Ward! It's #18 in her Black Dagger Brotherhood Series.
Patreon Shout Out:
Amanda P, You are a Jorogumo, a beautiful Japanese ghost woman who can shapeshift into lots of fire-breathing spiders or one big ladyspider, depending on your preference. You live near a beautiful waterfall, and have been known to catch unsuspecting woodsmen in your webs and drag them back to your spider lair. Rumor has it that you consume the men you trap in your webs, but we like to think you're just having a great time in a reverse harem lumberjack situation under a waterfall. No one has seen one of you in about 400 years, probably because you are having such a good time. Cheers!
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
First: we want to say a special HUGE THANKS to all the HBs in the healthcare field on the front lines of fighting this pandemic. We owe you everything.
Second: do you need some extra joy this week? Come with us in the way back machine to mid-February when we recorded the first of our three part series on the best/worst erotic thriller ever made: KILLING ME SOFTLY.
The whole series, along with 83 other posts, is available on our Patreon for just $5 per month!
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Hey HBs! We're here with part 2 of Rebel by Beverly Jenkins. Will Valinda stick with her marriage of convenience or let the sophisticated, handy pirate of her dreams dote on her for the rest of her life? Will Drake finally get to teach Valinda about all the bed games that make her so curious? Will Jenkins deliver insightful social commentary that applies to both America Times (Reconstruction) and modern day? YOU BET YOUR FACES!
Bonus Content: GOAT has a brother in Colorado!, *Bing Boong Bong* This is a confuse/Sexy Logistics, Erin and Mel LOVE Zorro and need a Zorro Times book, Erin and Mel wax poetical about faking your own death in America Times, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Lifting weights! Now that we're social distancing don't go to the gym. If you don't have weights at home, do what this guy is doing! Maybe with your kids! (Thanks to Katee Robert for bringing me this instagram account). And this roundup of 15 Must Read Black-Authored Historical Romance Novels of the Last 25 Years.
Erin: Blue Light Reducing Glasses so your eyes don't burn at your big computer work job.
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The Honey Don't List by Christina Lauren! It's a must-buy rom com about two assistants who need to keep their bosses together and feel an attraction to each other that is enemies to lovers goodness! Preorder now because it comes out on March 24th, 2020!
Patreon Shout Out:
Tabitha B, you are descended from Dogoda, a Slavic deity who has been called The Wind God of Compassion. Dogoda is associated with love and abundance, and your loved-ones feel that in spades. You also inspire growth in others because Dogoda was known for bringing gentle western breezes which ushered in change. Ever wondered about your creative streak? He is the wind which shapes the clouds into pictures and patterns, delighting everyone who sees them. And if you like a bit of whimsy, you’re going to love this. Offerings for Dogoda were rarely material, rather, they were happy dances and songs dedicated to him. Who needs stuff, right? Let’s savor the experience of living joyfully.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
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Em C and Nat talk about how art can lead you to the corporate training world. Why Nora Roberts is the best gateway to romance! How you only like an Alpha-hole ON THE PAGE! And so much more like how people read science books for fun! Em makes cool art and you can find her at emchileseart on Instagram.
And on Monday, March 23rd we're bringing you part 2 of Rebel by Beverly Jenkins. You guys, we get to the kissing!!
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Hey HBs! Come enjoy part 1 of REBEL by Beverly Jenkins! We've got a teacher who's calling in life is to help as newly-free people learn to read and write as possible and the dashing Captain who just wants to support her dreams and love her forever and maybe do sex in a tree house that he built with is own two hands! This America Times book is as densely-packed with wisdom as it is with sizzling banter and inspiring content.
Bonus Content: 50 points to Slytherin after Melody sings AGAIN, Melody is a MILF with an equally sexy new ride, Erin and Melody learn a ton more about Reconstruction (which is firmly in America Times), "your thing or my thing?", lobster bisque fiascos, and so much more!
Lady Loves: Social Distancing! Let's all to it (not) together! Seriously, stay in your house, wash your hands for 20 seconds VERY frequently, wipe all smooth surfaces down with disinfecting solution regularly, and consolidate grocery shopping as much as possible. Also, shop for the elderly! If you're older, let people shop for you! Have you ever wanted to do a Love Actually with the signs? Erin thinks that's how you should ask your elderly neighbor if they need groceries. It's firmly her idea and no one else's. But most of all, unless it's crucial, STAY IN YOUR HOUSE.
Episode Sponsor: Bawdy Bookworms! They pair romance books with pleasure toys and send them all straight to your door! Use code SEXYHB for 10% off all Quickies and anything in the store!
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Patreon Shout Out:
Jenna W., you are a Basan or Fire Rooster, a gigantic fire-breathing Japanese chicken that is like "cluck cluck I'll burn your alive if you cross me." Mostly you hang out in the mountainous bamboo forests of Japan, but when you come down to the villages, watch out. You breathe a cold, ethereal blue ghost fire that burns people with FEAR. You have blue feet and green feathers and a red body, which is fabulous and hard to miss, except you are invisible at will. People just hear the flapping of your chicken wings, going "basaaaa basaaa basaaaa." It's probably the last thing your enemies will ever hear, which is a shame, because you have a lot of wisdom to impart. But that’s ok, you should save your wisdom for your friends anyway. Not everyone deserves you.
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Hey HB's! It's Erin and Cole from Cigarette Burn: A Movie Podcast talking about a favorite film of theirs. NEWSIES!!! That's right, hear two grown BFFs go down the rabbit hole of nostalgia and innocent joy as they recap and discuss this perfect film.
And make sure to check out Cole's podcast for more movie goodness!
Lady Loves: Cole: Be Kind Wraps to cut down on single-use plastics! And please go to youtube and find Kenny Ortega doing promo interviews for Dirty Dancing. Especially the one where he teaches Oprah how to dirty dance!
Erin: Also youtube Christian Bale yelling at that guy in Terminator! And just watch Newsies.
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Megan L and Nat recorded an episode IN PERSON, in NAPERVILLE, MOTHERFUCKERS, staring into each other's eyes! They talk about how YA transitions perfectly in to Romance and how we are all just horny teens living for the romance in books! They discuss what it's like to own a small business, what it's really like in Naperville, and do clothes REALLY act like that?
And on Monday, March 9th, we're giving you PREMIUM NEWSIES CONTENT! HB and Newsies superfan Cole joins Erin to discuss (or reenact?) the famed and beloved Disney Movie Musical NEWSIES!
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Hey HB's! We've got more Melody catnip: alien erotic romance! To celebrate the new Ice Planet Podcast, we're rereleasing our chat about Barbarian's Mate, the 7th installment of the Ice Planet Barbarians series. We've got Josie, the last of the original women to resonate, and Haeden, the grumpiest 7 foot blue alien a girl could ask for. But dudes! He's not grumpy! He's a secret cinnamon roll who just can't stop spilling in his loin cloth! This duke is a virgin and he's the virgin duke of her secret dreams.
Bonus Content:
Our humble comments on the title (get @ us authors, we offer our services to all), new segment transition: *Beep Boop Bird Click*, IUD hijinks, taking someone to your FURS, faking farts to hide your true love, luxury caves, lady nectar, heavy balls, spurs, sexy papoose, and how to not be a Romeo.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Maybelline Super Stay Matte in Self Starter (which she now concedes is the best lipstick on the market)
Melody: Make good choices for yourself, like not furtively eating frosting with a spoon like a Gollum.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
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In the land of many tangents, Jenn R (SHE GOT HER SHOUTOUT DAMMIT) and Nat discuss why you should not ALWAYS rub soy candles into your skin, give a Jackie Collins shoutout, breakdown some retails woes, and do a condiment DEEP DIVE! Jenn was joined in the studio by her dog, so there may be some clickety clacking of little feet in the background. Jenn R is the maker at Post Pour Co and makes soy based candles that smell AMAZING! HB exclusive candles are available on Etsy.
Follow her on Instagram!
And on Monday, listen to Heaving Bosoms Proper for Ice Planet content! We’re rereleasing our episode on Barbarian’s Mate to celebrate the new podcast being made by Dani from Black Chick Lit! If you haven’t listened to the Ice Planet Podcast, you’re missing out. Dani is joined by a new guest each week to recap and discuss each and every book in the original Ice Planet Barbarians series. And… there’s going to be some people you know joining her in the next few weeks!
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We're back with Part 2 of The Bollywood Bride by Sonali Dev! Ria and Vikram get their happy ending in their second chance romance! Plus, as Jen from Fated Mates says, this novel is Hunting for Big Game when it comes to mental health stigma and healing from trauma.
Bonus Content: Fun sound checks, Erin makes a big mistake, Pooping on Promises, Traditional Naperville Tree Lightings, Melody let's Erin take the wheel (??), *Bing Boong Bong* Melody Gets Very Detailed About The Sex Scenes, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: Celestial Seasonings Cinnamon Cardamom Tea!
Melody: Countertop hot water dispensers!
Patreon Shout Out:
Meaghan L, You are a Gamayun, a huge impressive bird with the head of a beautiful woman. You know the future, the past, and all of creation, so you fly around spreading prophecies and divine messages. You are worshipped throughout the world for your intellect, which is pretty appropriate because you are the smartest birdwoman ever. You live on an island in a tropical paradise when you aren't flying around spreading all your immense wisdom, so you are obviously living your best life. Queen Bird!
Make sure to check out our Patreon for over 75 exclusive posts!
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In this episode of Ask-A-Badass HB, Erika C and Natalie cover some very niche medical BING BOONG BONGS. They talk about reading romance as an escape, how Erika might ACTUALLY be a superhero, how she copes with her sometimes bleak work job as a romance reader and a mom.
And tune in on Monday, February 24th for Part 2 of The Bollywood Bride by Sonali Dev! Once again, we want to make sure you know there’s some content that might be tricky. So be careful if sexual assault, domestic abuse, mental health issues, mental health shame, or eating disorders are triggering. We try to deal with the content as sensitively as possible and still manage to get some giggles in, but take care of yourselves nonetheless.
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Happy Monday! We're recapping part one of The Bollywood Bride by Sonali Dev! It's a second chance romance of two childhood sweethearts, set during a traditional Indian wedding! Ria and Vikram are a big, beautiful ANGST. Make sure to be careful if you find sexual assault, mental health issues/crises, mental health shaming, eating disorders, depression, suicide, or domestic abuse triggering.
Bonus Content: Melody hasn't seen Newsies, henna meanings, public butt fingering, *Bing Boong Bong* Coffee Cream with Erin, *Bing Boong Bong* Reality Check with Melody, and would Erin be a giant bitch to Ria IRL? Probs.
Lady Loves: Melody: Take care of your mental health. I faced my fears and talked to my GP about taking an SSRI and I'm in the process of finding a new therapist after mine retired. It's made a WORLD of difference!
Erin: Check out the facebook spinoff groups! There's one for crafting, one for The Bachelor, for RPGs, for Mental Health, for Health and Fitness, for Love Island, for cocktails and craft beers... tons!
Congratulations to Stephanie, Kate, and Rachel for their winning designs for our limited edition KissCon Merch! All proceeds will be going to All Hands and Hearts to benefit Puerto Rican disaster relief!
Patreon Shout Out!
Rohani R., you are descended from Hemera, the Greek personification of Day. You bring light and warmth to everyone you come in contact with. Your sun-shiny disposition and steadfastness give others the stability and comfort they need. But you’ve got bite, as well, just as the sun warms and nourishes, it has the ability to burn. And just as Day takes 12 hours to herself each night, you have the wisdom to give yourself what you need to stay balanced and happy.
Make sure to check out our Patreon for over 75 exclusive posts!
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Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! On this episode of Ask-A-Badass, Nat and Caitlin talk about the upside of long commutes, if audio books are actually reading, Girl Scouts (favorite cookie anyone?), reading goals, what to do when life hands you lemons and limes, and a very SLIPPERY *Bing, Boong, Bong*!
And join us on Monday, February 17th for Part 1 of The Bollywood Bride by Sonali Dev. It’s a beautiful second chance romance, but it comes with a whole passel of content warnings. Be careful if sexual assault, child abuse, severe mental health crises, mental health shaming, and gritty depictions of depression are triggering for you. It’s a very beautiful, but it’s a big angst as well.
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We're bringing you a monster-sized episode for our first sexy monster! **heart-eyed emoji**. Join us for Firelight by Kristen Callihan, a romance mystery set in Sherlock Holmes Times which may or may not have made us spontaneously combust a couple of times. Callihan is a master of "show, don't tell" and we were riveted for every moment. Plus, let's review: Sexy. Monster.
Bonus content: New dog GOAT, Big Slash/Stab, tongue-only kissing, masquerade masks, fight scenes, and so much more!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: For the People. Watch TV lawyers be terrible at their jobs and never get disbarred!
Melody: Don't fall asleep in the bath. She didn't die, but she definitely snort-splashed everywhere.
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Hey HBs! Sink into the sultry sounds of Stefannie C's voice during this episode of Ask-A-Badass, where Nat and Stefannie talk cake, Cavill, polyamory, self defense, AND SO MUCH MORE!
And join us on Monday, February 10 for a rerelease of our first sexy monster! We'll be in your feeds with Firelight by Kristen Callihan.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with part 2 of From Lukov With Love by Mariana Zapata! This Slytherin/Slytherin romance was ALL ABOUT THE W and gave us all the feels!
Bonus content: RIGHT TO BOOK!, Erin eats a little crow but then takes it back, *Bing Boong Bong* This Is A Bullshit with Erin, Melody's gross depression life hack, all of Ivan's nurtures and doing compliments and SWOON, *Bing Boong Bong* Birth Control with Melody, one of the most graphically described sex scenes we've ever done?, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: International Delight Coffee Creamer in Oreo
Erin: Fancy dog kennel that looks like a classy table!
Listener Elizabeth S talks all about nerdom and being a lifelong romance reader with dyslexia in this Smart Podcast, Trashy Books episode.
Patreon Shout Out:
Ashley T, you are Beiwe, the Sami goddess of the sun, spring, fertility, and sanity. You fill every space you enter with your positivity and hope, like spring, you have the ability to renew drab outlooks and projects with your fresh perspective. Beiwe was also known to restore the mental health of those driven mad by the darkness of the winter, and you do that for yourself and your inner circle because you have an innate ability to separate yourself from toxic people. So, thanks for your warmth and grounded sense of healthy choices, Ashley. You make every day a beautiful dawning.
Make sure to check out our Patreon for 75 exclusive posts!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Do like tangents? Regency romance? Weird ventriloquist dummy portraits? Tarot? Tauruses? Then you will love this episode, because Nat talks to Holly E from Wildly Tarot!
And tune in on Monday, February 4th for Part 2 of From Lukov With Love by Mariana Zapata!
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata! This ice skating enemies to lovers made us both do several swoons!
Bonus Content: the beautiful balance that is our opposite personalities, Melody has been attacked by new criminal mastermind TEAM: Rooster and GOAT, *Bing Boong Bong* Ice skating with Erin, *Bing Boong Bong* Butt Cheeks with Erin, Ivan is Queen Bird, big giant balls, *Bing Boong Bong* MORE figure skating with Erin, pouty pink lips, and so much more!
Housekeeping:
1. We won't use Hapa anymore unless it's specifically for people who are half white and half Native Hawaiian. We'll stick with biracial, mixed, or multiracial in the future.
2. If you're a patron, please check that your giving tier is accurate to your dollar amount!
Patreon Shout Out:
Kendall H-O, you are descended from Pasithea, the youngest of the charities and personification of meditation and relaxation. You’re not all sleepy self-care, though, you’re way too well-rounded for that. With parents like Hera and Dionysis, Pasithea not only had a passionate love of family, but she knew how to have a daaaaamn good time. And you got those traits in spades, for which your loved ones are endlessly grateful.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Nat and Jess talk about how Laura Ingalls Wilder is problematic, but we still have a soft space in our heart for her! They do a deep dive into sun dried tomato aioli! ALSO WHAT IS SCRAPBOOKING!? And why it's not just for people with kids anymore! Document the lives you lead, no matter what fills it!
And join us on Monday, January 27 for From Lukov with Love by Mariana Zapata! Weeeeee LIKED IT!!!!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with part 2 of Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston! Come swoon with us over Alex and Henry and their forbidden romance. Presidents, power points, Queens, ribs, Texas, elections, paparazzi, tabloids, scandal, and LOVE CONQUERING ALL.
Bonus Content: Melody puts on a shirt, Erin gets dog food and knows oceans?, a parenthetical friendship love moment, #titsoutforweddingsornot, King James First of His Name/the bible/and other Gay History with Erin and Melody, #notbiblicalscholars2020, scolding the Daily Mail, more oceans with Erin?, she knows the seas, guys.
Lady Loves: Melody: Turn off social media notifications, unless you're a cult moderator. Then don't do that.
Erin: Don't finish books you don't like! DNF! Be like Fated Mates and read until either the book is done, or you're done with the book.
Patreon Shout Out:
Emily F., you are an occamy, a beautiful blue birdsnake that lays eggs of pure silver. You are very protective of your eggs, going to great lengths to both hide and defend them. Your most interesting ability is choranaptyxis, which is the ability to shrink or grow to fit any space. You can be as small as a thimble or as large as an ocean, depending on your mood. You’re the epitome of adaptation in action and that makes you both special and resilient.
Make sure to check out our Patreon for 75 exclusive posts!
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston! It's an enemies to lovers romance about the First Son of the United States and a Prince of England. OMG. The writing is stunning, the banter is delectable, and the romance is full-body-tingle-inducing. It's the best book either of us read in 2019.
Bonus Content: Melody's drunk on hot chocolate, Rooster has several new jobs and worried Erin with her snoot problems, ROYAL BONERS, *Bing Boong Bong* Turkey Bombs with Erin, and so much more!
We're running a design contest! Anyone can create a limited edition piece of art for our 2020 meetup at Kisscon! Send your designs to heavingbosomspodcast (at) gmail (dot) com by February 7th and we’ll announce the winners on Galentine’s Day, February 13th. The winning logos will be added to our Redbubble Store so all HB Kisscon attendees can order shirts and totes and whatever the hell else you want to rock at the conference in April! All proceeds from this limited edition merch is going to charity, so make sure to send us your entries!
PATREON SHOUT OUT:
Darleen C., You are a bowtruckle, an super-smart best friend stick insect that is peacable and shy until someone tries to cut down your tree. If anyone, especially a tree surgeon, threatens the bowtruckle and its friends, you will jump out of a tree and gouge out the attacker's eyes. But if the person offers the bowtruckle snacks, it usually buys them enough time to get away. What can we say? You like what you like and we support that.
Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content!
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Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Adam and Laura take Natalie on a journey of what it means to be a beta reader. Adam uses a lot of references about movies and pop culture that Natalie has no idea about. They talk about why dogs are important. And they talk about one of the most important things - that communicating about romance can help strengthen your relationship and help your find out more about yourself. Please note that if you are looking for Biscuits and Bodices, they have changed their name to Babes in Romanceland!
And join us on Monday, January 13th for Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with an apology minisode because we needed a mental health week. Take care of yourselves, your girlfriends, and we'll see you next week with Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston!
Lady Loves:
Erin: If you have a podcast to do, DON'T DO IT! Also, puzzles? Erin puzzles now. She's a puzzler. Please pass her all the crow to eat because puzzle is life. Plz send minion puzzle.
Melody: British television show Love Sick the show on Netflix. It used to be "Scrotal Recall" and it's INCREDIBLE.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with Ask-A-Badass! In this episode, Breanna tells Natalie all about Twitter. Like what is it, how it works. Natalie and Bre discuss the importance of written correspondence, thoughtful gift giving, and dance playlists. Plus all the romance and lightning round questions!
Jan 6 is no full recap episode, but January 13th Erin and I will be back with Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston!
If you want more content, we've got over 50 bonus episodes, extras, videos, text message screenshots, and so much more over at our Patreon!
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with an old-but-goody! Back when we were baby podcasters we rang in the new year with Icecapade by Josh Lanyon! Are you in the mood for forbidden love between a jewel thief and the FBI Agent who has tailed him for a decade? Are you ready for that love story to involve llamas? WE ARE! This was a quick little novella, but it was jam-packed with stuff to talk about!
Someday we'll do a *true* New Years book, because this turned out to be more of A Christmas Carol retelling... not that we noticed at first! We added new banter shouting out many of those who were EMBRACED by us in 2019! Also, the 2020 HB Reading Embrace is live and ready for your eyeballs!
And head over to our Patreon for our recap and comments on the current RWA/Courtney Milan/Systemic Racism shitshow!
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Don't be afraid of a grown up friend sleepover. Erin spent a wonderful weekend with some lady friends in a cabin with board games and it was an experience that fortified the soul.
- Take some time to do for others. Melody went to an annual party her friend throws where, instead of birthday presents, he requests unwrapped toys to give to the salvation army. She gets a little misty talking about it and reminiscing about other volunteer experiences that have helped her in the process of helping others.
Patreon Shout Out:
Lawren G., you are a Billywig, a beautiful Australian insect. You are beautiful, shiny iridescent blue, but you are too fast for the average muggle to see. You have a stinger that is pretty intimidating, but when you sting people, it just makes them so giddy and happy, sometimes even making them fly! You're like a happiness fairy, spreading joy wherever you go.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Erin is joined by friend and HB Karen to recap Blitzen's Fated Mate by RE Butler! It's a holiday shifter novella that involves the newest Blitzen on the sleigh team, a fall from the sky, and the romance-writing-fated-mate who finds him in the woods. YES. It's delightfully bonkers and we are here for it. Karen is especially here for it.
Episode Sponsor:
Wanna Bet by Betsy Dudak. Make sure you pick up this fabulous new contemporary!
Patreon Shout Out:
Nora R, you are a Hippogriff. You are a powerful half-horse, half-eagle flying creature that is immensely proud and extremely dangerous. You are extremely magical and majestic, and you know your worth. If someone doesn't treat you with respect, you will murder them with your razor-sharp beaks and foot-long talons because they absolutely, unequivocally deserve it. So you prance around on land and soar through the sky, you shake your tail and you feathers and you keep showing the world your power and majesty. We crave it. We want to bow down.
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HBs, it's Kimberly L! Natalie and Kimberly talk all about dragons, dicks, dragon dicks, illustration, comedy, and Kimberly's new self-published work!
And join us on Monday, December 23 for Erin and HB Karen recapping Blitzen's Fated Mate by RE Butler!
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Hey HBs! OMG IT’S HAPPENING! Tiffany Reisz joined Melody to recap A Christmas Promise by Mary Balogh! It’s a historical romance that features a forced marriage of convenience, enemies to lovers, excellent hate-sex, and HOLIDAY LOVE MAGIC!
Tiffany also chats about her recent projects, THE ROSE which came out in April of 2019 and WINTER TALES, out now!
CW: death of a parent.
Bonus content: age 19 and all it’s trials, squeeing about hate sex, taking the train to crotchtown, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Tiffany: Spring for the good moisturizer because you deserve it and welcome newcomers to holiday festivities with open arms!
Melody: Be kind to yourself because this can be a really tough time of year and the lows should be honored along with the highs
Episode Sponsors:
STOCKING STUFFERS by Erin McLellan
ROCKING HER BOAT by Melanie Edwards
Patreon Shout Out:
Carrie A, you are a graphorn, a humpbacked purple creature with golden horns that is native to the mountains of Europe. You are known for your toughness. Nobody defeats a graphorn, not even a dragon, because your skin is so thick it repels dragonfire and spells. You also have a mouth full of tentacles that is pretty good for finding snacks and, when you combine that mouth with your sexy brain, besting anyone in an argument. So, keep being a fuckin’ badass, because that phrase was basically invented for you.
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WE HAVE CLIPPY HERSELF IN THE HOUSE! In this Ask-A-Badass, Natalie and Ann C talk about the Clippy origin story! Natalie really finds out what fan fiction is and what facts are. Maybe also what writing is, and what words are. Then. To cap it all off, we found out the truly correct answer to the condiment question.
Tune in next week for Tiffany Reisz joining Melody to recap A Christmas Promise by Mary Balogh!
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Hey HBs! We're here with Netflix movie The Knight Before Christmas! We unironically LOVED this story of an Ohio teacher and the knight who travels space and time because TRUE LOVE.
Bonus Content: surprise sneezes, sick men, are horses cars, *Bing Boong Bong* Mittens with Erin, embarrassing people who are JUST FINE, and so much more!
Episode Sponsor: Faux Ho Ho by Nathan Burgoine! It's a sweet, queer, fake relationship holiday romance!
Patreon Shout Out:
Nadia J., you are a niffler. You might look super cute and huggable with your ducky snout and fluffiness, but you are capable of wreaking enormous havoc when you want. Your taste for the finer things knows no bounds, and why should it? You're used to getting what you deserve: everything.
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Oh boy. Becci and Natalie go some places with this conversation. Please keep an eye out for the Patreon episode with an HOUR more of content. EESH. But in this episode, find out what true romance and Cool Ranch Doritos have in common, what Becci is reading, how and why you should JUST SAY NO, and why Ketchup is the only correct answer.
And tune in on Monday, December 9 for Erin and Melody recapping Netflix movie The Knight Before Christmas!
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Hey HBs! Tessa Bailey joined Melody to recap the rom com Safety Not Guaranteed! It's an Aubrey Plaza/Mark Duplass flick that surprised us both with it's mix of odd, lovely, and full-hearted wonder. And we chat about her release Fix Her Up and podcast Read Me Romance!
Bonus Content: toilet hair, *Bing Boong Bong* DO NOT RUN IN FRONT OF SOMEONE TARGET PRACTICING with Melody, werves, high school nostalgia, toddler drivers, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Tessa: Get a mammogram. You need a healthy baseline, preferably before you're 40. Do it!
Melody: Yeah, make that appointment you're putting off. I finally went to the dermatologist about a couple of moles and they're gone now!
Episode Sponsor: Tempting Heat by Sara Whitney! It's a sassy, steamy, snowed-in second chance romance that is super witty.
Patreon Shout Out:
Jennifer L, you are a doxie, which is a small flying creature sometimes mistaken for a fairy, but get close enough and a careless observer will find they've made a big mistake. Doxies are sometimes called biting fairies because they have two rows of teeth don't put up with any bullshit. They also have extra limbs and poisonous venom. So, basically like fairies but better.
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This week we talk to Ali F! Natalie and Ali do a deep dive into the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, Fangirl over Penny Reid, discuss what could truly be the most versatile thing to dispense out of your belly button, and Nat negs Ali for moving to Florida.
And tune in Monday, December 2 for Safety Not Guaranteed with Tessa Bailey! Yes, THE Tessa Bailey! *squee!*
Mentioned in this episode:
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Happy Thanksgiving, American HBs! We're so thankful to and for you, listener, no matter where you're from. What better way to show that than with a themed episode?! We bring you THANKSGIVING by Janet Evanovich! It's a book we expected to love because we love Stephanie Plum so much, but were mostly confused, amused, and amazed by. Join us on this journey where two eccentric narcissists non sequitur each other into love. Maybe? We think? Thanksgiving is involved!
*if you'd like to advertise on Heaving Bosoms email [email protected] it's a pretty cheap!*
Bonus Content:
Hansel and Gretel jokes, Erin's drunken excursions into Colonial Williamsburg, old-timey dick joke hilarity, *Bing Boong Bong* Mandatory Reporters with Erin, nose obsessions, INSANE reading by Melody, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: Listen to Wicked Wallflowers Club's episode with Angelina M. Lopez HERE! It's so empowering regarding how podcasting is one more way to celebrate romance and connect with other romance lovers. Angelina also opens up about her 20 year journey to becoming a romance author and it's an inspiring take on setting boundaries, embracing your limits, flexing your writing muscles in other, small ways, and then really committing when the time and idea are right. And I'm so thankful for our sister podcasts WWC, Fated Mates, and Black Chick Lit. We have been embraced by some truly brilliant and wonderful women and you should listen to them all!
Erin: ...have you heard of snack olives? They make these little packages of olives that are a tiny tasty treat.
PATREON SHOUT OUT:
Kimberly L, you are descended from Priapus, a rustic god of abundance, guardian domesticated animals, a protector bees and gardens, and a fixture in humorous tales. You are a wonderfully sweet soul who connects easily with animals and you serve as a refuge to many, animal and human alike. You project a safe, protective vibe without trying, and yet, you manage to also be boisterous and fuckin' hilarious. Finally, and I’m not sure if anyone has told you this before, but you give off some serious BDE. That’s Big Dick Energy for the uninitiated. You can than Priapus for that, too, because he had a famously large penis. So. Get on with your bad self, Kimberly. And never change.
Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content!
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Hey HBs! This week, Natalie and Jenny chat romance, tarot, witchiness, and so much more!
And tune into the regular episode on Monday, November 25th for Thanksgiving by Janet Evanovich!
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That’s right HBs! We’re kicking off the holiday season with a recap of The Holiday with Jill Shalvis ! Holiday romance! Dogs! Logistics with Erin and Jill! Jude Law putting on glasses! The old guy! Be sure to watch the movie and pick up Jill’s new holiday romance, Wrapped Up in You!
Episode Sponsor:
Wall Street Titan by Anna Zaires! Billionaire in search of a wife, cat lady bookworm, mistaken identity, opposites attract! Get a copy ASAP!
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Natalie learns about how important it is to follow your dreams, how romance can help you learn about yourself, Nora Roberts, what a Swamp Bat is, and why skin care is important.
And on Monday, join Erin and Jill Shalvis while they recap The Holiday. It's a classic Christmas rom-com with Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law, and Cameron Diaz!
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Hey HBs! We're here this gorgeous Veterans Day with Prince Joe by Suzanne Brockmann! When terrorists Digiorno and Sausalito decide to assassinate a Prince, he needs his American Doppleganger, a Navy Seal, to impersonate him. Luckily, he has a high class, dancing, media consultant who can turn this wrong-side-of-the-tracks guy into Royalty. Or something. Begrudging association becomes steamy bed play! And then LOVE!!
Bonus Content:
Erin's spectacular mom reads romance now!, we're stoked for ACOWAR, Jordan Catalano, teeny tiny sleeps, Erin's favorite version of Showgirls with crazy cartoon bikinis covering the T&A and goofily-dubbed cursing, *Bing Boong Bong* SO MANY THINGS with Erin, nipple lapels, bearing down, head hopping (discussed a bit in this episode of Fated Mates), something called a "chopter," and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody: bras that fit. Get them on your body. Erin endorses the Spanx Pillow Cup Signature Pushup Plunge Bra. It's got memory foam cups!
Erin: one that note, pants that fit! High-waisted Madewell are awesome!
Episode Sponsor:
Wanna Bet by Betsy Dudak!
Harper McReynolds a single mother of two, with a troubled history, who needs stability for herself and her daughters. Randall gives her all she asks for in a boyfriend—kindness, predictability, structure, and routine. Harper's head keeps trying to remind her that she doesn't want the bad boy who makes her combust every time she's near him.
Brody Reed's addiction claimed a brother's trust and started his own downward spiral. Growing tired of life on the road, a woman at every concert and a dependency on liquid courage, Brody put his life back together piece by broken piece. But the woman he lusts after may just shatter all of this.
An off-handed bet Brody and Harper make after a passionate kiss may change everything for them. Will they gamble on their hearts to prove to each other they are all in? Or when the stakes get too high, will they fold and walk away?
Indy Podcast Promo:
The Secret Life of Weddings
Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, etc. or at http://secretlifeofweddings.com Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/secretlifeofweddings/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/secretlifeofwed Facebook Page | https://www.facebook.com/thesecretlifeofweddings Tumblr | https://secretlifeofweddings.tumblr.com YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQJ6EVYHYsmIvs_bnHqKXSgMentioned in this episode:
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Hey HBs! It's time for Ask-A-Badass! Today Natalie learns about Human Resources and what you can do in romance novels, but not in real life (spoiler alert: DON'T KEEP PANTIES IN YOUR DESK DRAWER, OK??).
And tune it on Monday, November 11 for Prince Joe by Suzanne Brockmann for Navy Seals, 90's callbacks, patented HB action sequences, and so much more!
To be featured on Ask-A-Badass, email [email protected] and before you second-guess yourself YES WE MEAN YOU!
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Hey HB's! We're here with the climactic end to The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! We're back with the Duke of Sexydom Lucien and Sally, Patron Saint of Self-Worth and crack detective to discover who the muuuuuuurdererrrrrr is! And also kissing! And fighting! And groveling! And love! And WEASELS! Yes please.
Bonus Content: Erin is haunted and GOAT is capitalizing, sexy HB fanfic, LOTS of Melody fanfic, INTRIGUE, secret passages, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Don't ingest things that are actually poisonous for you. Respect any *intolerances* you might have!
Melody: the show LETTERKENNY on Hulu. Go to there!
Patreon Shout Out:
Jenny Whitty, you are the lovechild of Eutychia, goddess of happiness, and Elpis, goddess of hope. From Eutychia you get your positive outlook, sunny disposition, and practice of random acts of kindness. Whether it’s big, like volunteering, or small, like introducing us to the reading sexy mudflap girl, you’re always there to lift others up. Now, the Greeks weren’t super into hope, they more saw it as an extension to human suffering, and there’s something sort of beautiful about that. So, from Elpis, goddess of hope, you get your healthy coping mechanisms and ability to take on big challenges. Life hasn’t been all roses and sunshine for you, but you push through the trials and pain and come out stronger on the other side because a big part of hope is belief, or faith, in yourself.
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In this episode of Ask-A-Badass, Natalie learns about Jackie's love of old school romance, how to swindle pregnant ladies out of rocking chairs, important pinball information, and all about Hugh Jackman.
To be featured on Ask-A-Badass, email [email protected]!
And join us on Monday, November 4 for part 2 of Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig!
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Hey y'all! We're here with part 1 of The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! There's a confident heroine who oozes awesome, there's a Vampire Duke (!! or is there?), spies!, MURDERRRRRR, it's a spooky good time.
Bonus Content:
Melody's salty because there's no sex. Listen! The characters are so hot and the romance is so good that she just wants there to be sex! It's because Lauren Willig is SO GOOD! And because Melody is a perv. #onbrand. Also, Trevor the Ferret, Beauregard the Dog, and #saladjokes! Enjoy.
Lady Loves:
Melody: Impeachment, A Daily Podcast from WNYC's Bill Laher and Vox's Impeachment Explained Podcast. So good, so bite-sized, so curated, so not the gaping hole of the internet.
Erin: be a proud Pumpkin Slut!
Patreon Shout Out!
Emmi S., you are the lovechild of Themis and Eos. Themis was a Greek Titaness in charge of order and fairness. You get the solid head on your shoulders from her. She also built the Oracle of Delphi and was, herself, orcacular, so that might explain how you broke the mold on those tattoos from your youth. You’ve always just KNOWN. Meanwhile, Eos is the goddess of dawn and new beginnings. She is where you get the bravery to start fresh and realize your dreams, no matter where you are in life. So you keep lacing up, working hard, and meeting your heroes, Emmi. You’re a goddamned inspiration.
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Hey HBs! We're here with THE ONE AND ONLY Blair! Natalie debuts her wonderful, warm interviewing style and finds out Blair's problematic faves, how writing works, the importance of mayonnaise, and other Necessary Blair Facts. Enjoy!
And join us on Oct 28 for Part 1 of The Mark of the Midnight Manzanilla by Lauren Willig! Come for the Sherlock Holmes Times, which Melody thought was England Times, but was MISTAKEN, and stay for the vampire rumors and SALAD JOKES. You can only get this content here, folks.
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Hey there listener! We're kicking off year three of this crazy ride with a guest host! Fan-favorite Cole is back to discuss The Right Swipe by Cole's very favorite author, Alisha Rai. Join us for this smart, super hot contemporary about a take-no-shit CEO and the sexy football player that is the spokesman of a rival company. Get ready for some enemies to lovers, Hufflepuff-Slytherin cinnamon roll goodness! CONTENT WARNINGS: Alzheimer's, CTE/TBI, emotional abuse, sexual harassment Bonus content: Cole has a serious, not creepy crush on Alisha Rai, saying "yum yum" during oral sex: is it sexy?, Cole doesn't know any modern dating terms despite going to high school with Erin, Varsity Blues, Mark McGrath freaking out on a teen, sweaty cakes, glitter, Grandpa Joe is a fake and a liar, and Chekov's ex-boyfriend. Lady Loves Cole: nostalgic music playlists, Popeyes crispy chicken sandwich, seeing old movies on the big screen Erin: homemade dunkaroo dip
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Hey HBs! Join us on Monday, Oct 21 for Erin and Cole recapping The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai! Cole positively swoons over his author crush writing his prima book girlfriend and Erin gets to introduce this quasi-newbie to romance novel phenomenon Chekhov's Abusive Ex. Woo!
And it's our first Ask a Badass pod! In this episode, you are introduced to Natalie M-M, the host of Ask-A-Badass. Melody asks Natalie questions that Natalie created, and Natalie has trouble coming up with her answers. There are baked goods, cackling, pirate sex, survival skills, what else? Who knows.
To be featured on Ask-A-Badass, email [email protected]!
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Hey HB's! It's been TWO YEARS OF AWESOME!!!! Y'all are amazing. For real. We can't believe how lucky we are to have you in our world. In celebration of our two year podiversary we're coming at you with some fuck/marry/kills, some best and worst podcast awards, and some listener questions. Plus The State of The Cult and a BIG announcement. Woo!
Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content at https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast
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Hey HB's! We're here for part two of The Covert Captain, or A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira! We *think* we wrap up the plot of this book quite nicely! Once you parse through the Englandtimes phrasing, our extreme jet-lag, and not having read the book in a ... a few weeks? LISTEN. We're making plans and resolutions to be better in the future because Erin is hereby EMBARRASSED.
Bonus Content:
WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM! For the first time ever! Erin so tired she almost quit podcast, #intellectualismin2020, our thoughts on the manners of Little Red Ridinghood and other nursery story girls, Erin FINALLY opens her Kindle, we come down on one of the MC's for the way she talks to, and about, a Jewish family in the book, Mollyhouse!, Rooster's Salmon Oil Tantrum, Our new hit single ~Early in the Fuck Morning~, our observations about dried up spinsters on the shelf (*psssst* don't discount them, they definitely 69), Washer/Watcher Women, HYPOTHETICAL Tree Sex that A FRIEND had, #bringbackdueling #doitbetterthough, Maid's half birthdays, #goodjobdueling, and our future resolutions for the next couple of years.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Cozy sleepy sleep. Get some. Cherish it.
Melody: Prank your kids! Even if they're jet-lagged toddlers!
Patreon Shout Out:
Jadine T, you are a pukwudgie, a mythical forest trickster that can appear and disappear at will, use magic, launch poison arrows, and create fire. You tend to be grumpy and value your independence, but you are also hardworking and loyal. Most importantly, pukwudgies are known for a tendency to steal pumpkins and hoard them for personal use due to a true love of autumn. A pukwudgie loves a warm scarf and a PSL and a bonfire just as much as the next girl, and you are not going to be ashamed of it.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! We're here with The Covert Captain, or A Marriage of Equals by Jeanelle M. Ferreira, a historical that's so historical, even two ladies who can read and understand Shakespeare couldn't quite decipher it a lot of the time. What we understood, we loved, though! It's about a Captain in the army with a Big Secret and the spinster with nothing to lose bonding over pianos, horses, promiscuous relations, and the idea that ladies are capable and worthwhile just as they are.
Bonus Content: Melody's apologetic spoken word poem, Frogs, *things* eating their own tails, secret passage ways, duckies (not), absconding via windows, diets of postage, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Melody - Tracy Chapman. Listen to her. She's amazing. And Lizzo's MTV Music Awards performance in front of a giant inflatable ass.
Erin - MBMBaM episode 413: Faster Car. Hilarious!
Patreon Shout Out:
Ariel LG, you are a sphynx, a fearsome majestic lioness with the face of a gorgeous woman. The word sphynx comes from Arabic for the terrifying one, which is kind of an understatement. The great sphynx is the ultimate protector and guardian, devouring all that cannot answer her clever riddles. She has super-high standards for men to get past her, and she should, because she's a literal lion goddess. You are so fierce that Ancient Egyptians believed just a statue of you could scare off those that might disturb the great pyramids. They were right. Just the idea of you is scary and awesome. Never change.
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Hey HBs! This week we're rereleasing our episode on The Duke and I by Julia Quinn because a) we're so stoked for the Bridgerton Series coming to Netflix next year, b) it's the birth of "England Times," and c) we're just as thankful to everyone who listens now as we were then! WE LOVE YOU, LISTENER! Thank you for loving this wonderful genre as much as we do!
So, are you a sucker for a rakish Duke, a lady who can throw a punch, and a fake dating scheme? We are TOO!
Content Warning: sexual assault, miscarriage
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Ginger-infused tea; it'll cure what ails you!
- Listen to episode 7 of Queery with Cameron Esposito; it's an interview with Stephanie Beatriz about bisexuality, bi-erasure, acting, and "being shitty with yourself" in order to succeed. So good!
Patreon Shout Out:
Tanya GM, you are an Ogopogo, a legendary Canadian lake serpent demon that is basically living its best life. You are about 40 million years old and probably immortal, so you don't take any shit from anybody. And if you love somebody for a thousand years like in that Twilight wedding song, it would basically be a blip on your radar. Coolest of all, even though you are a fierce, reclusive, deadly beast, people love you and want to put you on T-Shirts and use you as a mascot. You're both feared and loved, which is basically the dream. Your name is also a palindrome, so that's pretty cool.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey HBs! It's ERIN AND COLE!
Erin joined Cole on Cigarette Burns Podcast to talk about one of their all-time favorites, “The American President”. This film has it all – prime Rob Reiner, young Aaron Sorkin, the second coming of sexy Michael Douglas, perfect Annette Bening, and hair….serious hair. The more they talked about it, the better this film got. Great score, wonderful performances, wit and humor, romance, and a Christmas-carol singing Richard Dreyfuss. Don’t miss Erin’s obsession with Erik von Detten, sexy Presidents, and some serious bullhonky regarding the perfect television show Sports Night. Also, it turns out Cole is better than Chris Pine at exactly one thing.
Recommendations: “My Date with the President’s Daughter”, “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington”, “Romancing the Stone”, “Black Rain”, “The Grifters”, “Charlie Wilson’s War”, and the New Camelot Trilogy (“American Queen”, “American Prince”, and “American King”) by Sierra Simone.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! It's time for the Great Big Romance Read! We're reading The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite! Do you love a lady scientist? What about a lady fiber artist? What about two ladies who SUPER BELIEVE IN EACH OTHER AND WILL FIGHT THE MAN TOGETHER. This novel is all that plus hot, hot smooching and gorgeous prose!
Bonus Content: Rooster's adventure, is GOAT a criminal mastermind?, we're a history podcast now, and by history we obviously mean geography, "nepotizing!" AKA Melody cracks herself up by making up words, Melody attempts being demure, college seduction techniques, England Times Flipping Tables, and GODDAMNED COMETS.
Lady Loves:
Take a friend vacation! x2
Episode sponsor:
Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately!
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Anna S, you are the genetic copy of the chosen one, a galactic princess with interplanetary royal blood and the ability to control bees. You are the legal owner of the Earth. If any weird siblings try to come here and suck all our blood for youth, you have veto power. You also love dogs. You always have. Specifically, you love one dog in particular with flying roller blades. He used to have wings, but someone cut them off because he bit somebody. Anyway, you are basically a superhero space queen who saves everyone. You can make out with any dog-men you want and no one can tell you different because you have the title to the Earth. Congratulations.
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Hey everyone! SPECIAL GUEST EPISODE! Talia Hibbert joined Melody to talk all about the Netflix movie Set It Up, as well as her two new releases Work For It (9/3) and Get a Life, Chloe Brown (11/5). Both are available for pr-order! Come listen to us chat about this *almost* woke movie while Melody peppers in questions about Talia's writing and generally dies over her awesomeness.
Bonus Content: What are s'mores, KISS CAMS QUESTION MARK, #justiceforgolfguy, *Bing Boong Bong* Unexpected Patriotism with Melody, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Talia: Konjac sponges! Fun, awesome, natural!
Melody: Work For It and Get a Life, Chloe Brown. Get them immediately!
Episode Sponsors:
Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately!
Words and Kisses the UK monthly romance subscription box!
Patreon Shout Out!
Safoora B., you are descended from Aegle, the Greek goddess of radiant health. You may have had that beautiful baby, but you haven’t lost your glow because it’s always come directly from your soul. No matter the situation you can light up any interaction with your sparkling wit, luminous smile, mischievous gleam, and lovely warmth. Your beautiful family, employer, and friends couldn’t do without your dedication to leaving everything better than when you got there. Plus, you have an eye for beauty that is goddess-sent.
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Hey HBs! We're back for One Wore Blue Part 2. I know, we don't want to be here either. HOWEVER! Come hear Mel and Erin cope through humor and ranting!
Content Warnings: enragingly whitewashed depictions of slavery and hate speech.
Patreon Shout Out!
Katie K., you are The Witch of the Wild, made modern. You use your powerful magic for good, whether it’s through humor, the way you wield a makeup brush, or bringing a cosplay to life. I also have a feeling that, when behind the bar, your party potions can be legendary. Like the witch you’re inspired by, you also have powerful healing magic. You can pick up a friend who’s down with a look, a kind word, a funny joke, or a cutting remark aimed at the person who hurt them. You can take down your loved ones enemies with the best of them, and you’re not afraid to go there. I’m so glad our cult has you to entertain and protect us.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Come join us in this love letter to Confederate Generals where two privileged slave owners angst at each other over states rights (but not slavery because they're both pretty okay with that; STATES RIGHTS!) until they bang it out, or while they bang it out, or after they bang it out. Also it's our first AmericaTimes book!
CONTENT WARNINGS: inaccurate and whitewashed depiction of slavery and hate speech
Bonus Content:
Mel copes with this deplorable version of Antebellum white washing with THREE WHOLE PAGES of charming and hilarious southern phrases, Erin hates it, many southern accents, Podcast of Northern Aggression?, Kiernan SUUUUUUUUUCKS, *Bing Boong Bong* Civil War Name Dropping with Erin, was Moses Fancy?, orgasming through a snapchat filter, and Erin proposes a hypothesis after reading Sookie and this: is this type of O the super power of Civil War Era Southern Gentlemen?
Lady Loves
Melody: "Hard to Swallow Pills: Rejection Sensitivity" Graphic
Erin: Katmai Bear Cam! Watch bears being bears at nature's conveyor belt sushi! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4C1c4z8hTQ
Patreon Shout Out:
Jen RR, you are a Book Dragon. A creature whose passion for the written word is matched only by your expansive intellect and charring wit. While most dragons hoard their belongings and guard them fiercely against all intruders, you are benevolent and share with anyone who’s looking for a recommendation. You shout good writing from the door of your lair and your taste never falters. One thing you do guard fiercely, however, is your inner circle. You are incredibly protective over, and take gentle care of, the people you deem yours. And your fire breath is a mixed bag. You’re not afraid to call out ignorance and injustice and you can burn anything to the ground with almost zero effort, but you’re quick to warm up a chilled friend with a kind word. You also give amazing hugs.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Erin got to talk to CHRISTINA LAUREN! Both Lauren AND Christina! In addition to spending a little time talking about What's My Number (they hate slut-shaming *swoon!*), they talk all about their friendship, writing, breaking into the movie biz, and a ton more. Most importantly, you get to hear how right they are about The One True Chris! #christinalaurensecretthing
Make sure to pre-order their next book Twice in a Blue Moon, which is out October 22, 2019!
Patrons will get bonus content with cult questions this week as well!
Lady Loves:
Christina: the K-Pop group BTS! They're her happy place.
Lauren: Orange Theory? Well, yes, but also The Right Swipe by Alisha Rai! It's out now!
Patreon Shout Out:
Victoria E, you are descended from Brigid, the Celtic Goddess of poetry, healing, and spring, and a protector of livestock and the young. You have an artist’s soul, the work ethic of a meticulous scientist, and an analytical mind that can tackle any problem. Like the season Brigid governs, you rejuvenate everything you lay your eyes on. You pick yourself and your loved ones up because you’re a steadfast champion of well-being in all aspects of life. So, grab a book, a cup of tea, some berries, and curl up with those kitties, because you deserve all the care and contemplation you crave.
Episode Sponsor!
Rocking Her Boat is a debut novel by Melanie Edwards! It's got a driven marine biologist heroine and a bad boy rising rock star hero that you should check out immediately!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Are you wondering how the story ends for Nate and Robyn? You're in luck because we're here to recap part two of Perv by Dakota Gray! Plus, why is smells, what is time (a flat circle?), how does money, where friendship? But more than anything, TIT SLAPPING!
Bonus Content: Matthew McConaugHEYYYYYY vs. The McConaissance, doggy paddle boarding, Big Al's, doe-shaped eyes, and so much more!
Make sure to check out our Patreon bonus content at https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast
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Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We’re here with Perv by Dakota Gray. It has so many things we usually love. Interracial couple! Graphic sex scenes! Kink! Frank sexual health talks! And yet…. It wasn’t for us because Alphaholes aren’t Melody’s thing and Erin … well, Erin explains. It's specific.
Bonus Content:
Mel’s brother is now a patron (gah!), Erin is honest to a stranger about what she’s reading, Melody has MANY OPINIONS about alcoholic beverages, the Bachelorette contestant Lil’ Pete, the Wine Aficionado of Cunts, Bing Boong Bong Army with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Sexual Health with Melody, Irrational Assholes and Irrational Alphaholes, Melody explains dental dams, and the Kenny G board game.
Lady Loves:
Melody - The Dixie Chicks
Erin - Queer Eye Season 4
Patreon Shout Out:
Ali F, you are a parasitic Arctic ice worm that burrows deep inside the brains of unsuspecting geophysicists, a dog, and at least two FBI Agents that refuse to accept their true feelings for each other. You turn your hosts into murderous psychopaths incapable of controlling their wrath and paranoia. You are ruthless, crafty, and devoted to survival at all costs. It's not the most glamorous job, but you do get to hang out in Alaska, which is pretty cool. Even cooler, you delivered that great scene where Mulder and Scully check each other's bodies for parasitic ice worms. This was very important to Erin in 1993, so she thanks you.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Come join us for the end of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris! In addition to Sookie and Vampire Bill's HEA (or HFN? WHO KNOWS!), Erin and I tell you all about "The Melody" from Erin's wedding, we hate book Jason but Melody LOOOOOVES TV Jason, we get real with Tweety Bird, and question how we've done orgasms our whole lives?
PATREON SHOUT OUT:
Jenny P., you are an acolyte of The Norns, or the Fates of Norse mythology. From Skuld, or she who is becoming, you get your widely celebrated connection to, and ability to interpret, the future. Only someone like you could capture both the beauty and support that tarot has to offer and make it tangible for so many. From Urd, or that which was, you get a millennia of human experience baked into your bones. You draw from this wisdom daily, especially when it counts. Finally from Verdandi, or that which is becoming, you get your impressive ability to be present. No matter what life throws at you, never underestimate the value of just being you when shit inevitably hits the fan. It’s not about saying or doing the “right” thing, it’s about being there for those you love, and your instincts won’t let you do anything else.
EPISODE SPONSOR:
This episode is sponsored by Love and Gravity by Rebel Carter! It's her first rom com and a multicultural STEM Hufflepuff romance with a curvy Latina lab queen and swoon worthy reformed bad boy. One reviewer gushed, "Anton and Grace are hilarious, flawed, sweet people who I fell in love with right away! This book is witty, fun, and emotional. And it has ladies killing it in STEM!”"
Hurry, hurry! Purchase this hilarious novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with part 1 of Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris, the first book in the Southern Vampire series or, as we like to call it, the Sookie Stackhouse series! This was a foundational book in Erin's romance-loving career and she will defend Sookie and Bill's perfection until true death. Meanwhile, Melody is more of a show girl, soooo... Bonus Content: Erin's post-army haircut!, Mel was a little bored with Sookie (partially because she's not in a great mental/emotional state), Ryan Kwanten doing yoga (drool), the excellence that is Dillards on a sexy vampire, and more!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Due to a gross but minor health issue, Erin was unable to read about sexy vampires last week. So, we put Sookie on hold and discussed everyone’s favorite new Netflix romcom, Always Be My Maybe! Next week we will return to our normal reading list!
Bonus Content: A little on Erin's wedding, loooooots of Keanu love (his thumbs!), and so much more!
Patreon Shout Out:
Crystal T, you are a Splintercat, a ferocious feline legend of the Pacific Northwest that has incredible speed, can fly, and has an uncrackable skull. You basically fly at top speed into trees to knock the raccoons and bees out so that you can nom on raccoon meat and honey. You’re apparently the cause of all the dead snag trees seen around the Northwestern United States. There’s a bad rumor that Splintercats are mean and very moody. Lumberjacks are advised to never approach a Splintercat in a bad mood and leave gifts of food when in doubt. It’s not the best reputation, but hey, men leave you alone except to give you free food? If you don’t want that gig, we’ll take it.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey y'all! We're here with JenReadsRomance from twitter and Fated Mates Podcast glory to chat about Cinnamon Blade: Knife in Shining Armor by Shira Glassman! It's an f/f novella starring a superhero and a nerdy assistant. There's aliens, there are consent boners, there's public sex, there are puns... in the words of Cin, "heart eyes!" We loved it.
Plus, lots of Melody and Jen not being able to remember names of movies and important comic book characters, so the usual!
Self Love Recommendations:
Melody: Coffee concentrate ice cubes! Yum!
Jen: Do something naughty in the middle of the day. Like have an alcoholic beverage! The light of day makes some regular old things feel illicit and nice.
Episode Sponsor:
Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!
Patreon Shout Out:
Misty HL, you are a Joint Snake, a legendary creature from the Southern United States that can break itself or be cut into teeny tiny pieces and magically reassemble like nothing happened. One account says that if the Joint Snake is cut with a knife, it will make the knife into a new piece of itself, making it even stronger than before it was cut. Seriously, do not fuck with this snake, she’ll just use whatever comes at her to come back even stronger. Resilience is her superpower.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! We're coming at you with Part 2 of Josh and Hazel's Guide to not dating! In which we swoon and try not to read you the entire thing because we love it so muuuuuch.
Patreon Shout Out!
Liz Z, you are a Snallygaster, a dragon-like beast that specifically inhabits Frederick County, Maryland. The Snallygaster is half-reptile, half-bird, so basically a badass dinosaur. You swoop silently from the sky to catch your victims and then you suck their blood vampire-style. Your screech is louder than a locomotive whistle and you have an extra eye in the center of your forehead. Seriously, you are a very badass situation. No joke, Teddy Roosevelt considered postponing his African safari to hunt for Snallygasters in the Greater-D.C. Metro Area. This really happened. And he was the President.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Heyyyyy! We've got some quirky, light adorableness for you! No content warning here except maybe, Get Ready For the Squeeeeee! Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating by Christina Lauren was everything we could have wished for. Hazel is Melody on cute and cuddly crack, Josh is currently in the running for Best Book Boyfriend of 2019, the angst is low, the steam is high, the voices are FUN, and the romance is super sweet. Just. Lovely.
Bonus Content:
Erin gets revenge, we talk about our Patreon fundraiser for the Yellowhammer Fund, Hazel is confidence goals, Mel comes in with some food hot takes, we duel for the stage, Erin comes clean the risks she'll take for free butter cookies, and so much more!
Episode Sponsor!
New Girl In Town by Rebel Carter. It's an age gap romance with an older heroine who is starting over after leaving an abusive ex-husband. The hero is so sweet and respectful and hot and swoon-worthy. Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!
Patreon Shout Out!
Patricia BM, you are an Agropelter, a fearsome critter that lives in hollow conifer trees from Maine to Oregon. From your vantage point in the trees, you take great joy in pelting unsuspecting lumberjacks with splinters and branches with the speed of a bullet. But probably only those who super deserve it. There exists no description of what you look like, because you are so quick that you have never been seen by human eyes. However, we all know you’re incredibly gorgeous. You also only have babies in odd numbers and you eat hoot owls and woodpeckers. So you keep on shooting your excellence into the world, Patricia, it’s what you were made for.
Indie Podcast Promo:
World Stealers from More Banana
Hosts and professional nerds Cait and Liz take deep dives into some of their favorite fandoms and into the amazing corner of the internet that is fanfiction. Covering everything from Star Wars to The Little Mermaid, each episode is a fresh discussion of a new bit of geek culture followed by an original fanfiction, written and read by one of the hosts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish they were better at British accents.
Subscribe via Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're back with the final part of Bully by Penelope Douglas! Hear more about The LOOP!, girl-on-girl crime, sex in an autumn storm, and the caper of a lifetime.
Bonus Content: Always Be My Maybe, Erin's motorcycle trip and subsequent hypothermia, and Celine Dion's All Coming Back To Me Now music video.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Busy Philipps is a QUEEN whose show Busy Tonight got cancelled on E!. And she proceeded to do a meditation on lady love and knowing your worth in the final two episodes. The biggest take away: "you're running a marathon, but the trick when things go sideways, is to realize the marathon you're actually running."
Melody: Episode 13.5 of Fated Mates called "Freewheeling." It's all about women's bodily autonomy and reproductive issues like pregnancy, miscarriage, still birth, abortion, and more, and centered in romance!
EPISODE SPONSOR!
Be sure to pre-order today's sponsor novel Blood Captive by Kim Loraine for just $0.99! books2read.com/bloodcaptive The novel releases on June 17.
Here’s the description:
He wanted me for my blood…
Living on the run was all I’d ever known. My life was unstable, but at least I wasn’t alone. That all changed when my mother was murdered.
I ran from the unknown creatures she’d always feared. Until the day I stopped being afraid. That was my first mistake.
Cashel Blackthorne took me as his captive, but more than that, he opened my eyes to the terrible truth of the world. Vampires exist, and I am the key to their salvation.
The Blackthorne vampires need my blood but their prince desires more—me.
There’s something between us neither of us can deny. He is my captor, but I’ll be his ruin.
PATREON SHOUT OUT!
Michele K, you are a Goofus Bird, a backwards-flying taloned bird of prey that flies backwards and builds your nest upside down. You have a turkey-like head, long green neck with silver scales, a black right wing and a pink left wing, which sounds kind of nuts, but trust us, you’re working it. The Goofus marches to the beat of its own drum. The Goofus is often perceived as silly and aimless, but underestimating you is a big mistake. You know exactly where you’re going and what you’re doing. That’s why you don’t even need to look. Maybe your nest is upside down, or maybe your nest is the only one that’s right-side up.
We're doubling and donating all new and increased Patreon pledges in June and July to the Yellowhammer Fund, so if you're on the fence, now is the time! https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast
Indie Podcast Promo:
There Will Be Porn with Cait and Murda!
Vintage Porn recapped by millennial women who are mostly ok with butt stuff.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're here with Bully by Penelope Douglas. It's a new adult romance between middle-aged-sounding high schoolers who used to be best friends until he turned into a super villain and started bullying her. Listen, a lot of it didn't work for us, but the sexy times did. It was also an incredible vehicle for raceway noises, learning about arborists, and Melody climbing so high on an anti slut-shaming soap box that I doubt we'll ever see her again.
More Bonus Content:
Erin's got attitude, Mel's got disclaimers, Cult housekeeping, book recs are NEVER a reflection on the person who recommended them, name opinions, Melody cannot let go of all the girl-on-girl crime, *Bing Boong Bong Bird Click* What Are Arborists? with Erin, vrooom vrooom beep beep!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Melody: Please, please, PLEASE donate to The Yellowhammer Fund to help our sisters in Alabama and The National Network of Abortion Funds to help our sisters all over the nation access basic medical care and take charge of their reproductive futures.
Erin: ... Yasso Greek Yogurt Ice Cream Bars are super good!
Episode Sponsor:
Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter! It’s a menage, mail order bride romance set in Western Times that will melt your heart and set your bathing suit parts alight. Talia Hibbert says "Rebel Carter writes with wit, elegance, and longing. Her love stories exist in a world of their own, and it's one I never want to leave." Hurry, hurry! Purchase this wonderful novel! Also follow Violet Gaze Press to keep up with new releases!
Patreon Shout out:
Danellia V, you are a Cactus Cat, a feline of the American Southwest, with hair like thorns and a particularly spiny tail. At night you slash cacti with your sharp tail, and then come back a couple of days later to drink the now-fermented juice. It is said that the Cactus Cat can be heard whooping it up at her very own badass cactus juice party from miles around. You’re basically a home-brew and self-care expert. You’re also immune to scorpions.
Indie Podcast Promo:
World Stealers from More Banana
Hosts and professional nerds Cait and Liz take deep dives into some of their favorite fandoms and into the amazing corner of the internet that is fanfiction. Covering everything from Star Wars to The Little Mermaid, each episode is a fresh discussion of a new bit of geek culture followed by an original fanfiction, written and read by one of the hosts. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish they were better at British accents.
Subscribe via Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
This episode, Erin and Melody are talking about Haven by Rebekah Weatherspoon! It's part of her Beards and Bondage series and, really, what more can you ask for, AMIRITE?? Come experience how Claudia and Shep are thrown together by tragedy and discover that the best way forward is through dominance, submission, and the careful application of .... bungee cord. SWOON!
Bonus Content:
Paradise Hotel (already cancelled!), Erin mutes a cough! Guys! Erin mutes a cough!, Melody discovers a CB radio kink, *Bing Boong Bong* You Need a Lawyer with Erin, the ladies attempt quantum mechanics and NOTHING goes wrong, Erin and Mel realize they're not mathologists, nor penis geometrists, but they might be able to handle penis physics?, #TITSOUTFORBREAKFAST, Sexy Safety with Erin, #nopoopin2020 (hahahahaha, never gonna happen), Shep makes Melody's favorite garment: crotchless leggings.
Lady Loves:
Erin: How Did This Get Made's episodes on Little Italy, When Justin Met Kelly, and Speed 2: Cruise Control
Mel: Beware Psychic Vampires and watch Someone Great on Netflix!
Patreon Shout Out:
Monica M, you are a Glawackus, or Northern Devil Cat, a fearsome critter who makes an impact on everyone you come in contact with. You are a combination of a lion, bear, and a panther known for its bone rattling screech and, of course, your graceful courage. You have eyes that glow like embers, and your gaze is so intense that a lumberjack cannot look into your eyes without forgetting their own name. That definitely sounds like you, lady. Get it.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! We're back for Part 2 of Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsay! Viking Times continues to be pretty problematic, but with a little escape, imprisonment, kidnapping, and (of course) rape, these two crazy kids end up together. Yay!(??)
Bonus Content:
*Bing Boong Bong* What are Scandinavian Bears with Melody, the worst one woman show script we've ever read, and "is anyone even listening?" with Erin.
Lady Loves:
Melody: the movies Wine Country and Teen Titans GO!
Erin: Fancy French Macaroons!
Patreon Shout Out!
Becky C, you are a Dungavenhooter, a crocodile-like creature that resides in the Northern Woods of the United States. The Dungavenhooter uses its huge tail to murderlate drunk lumberjacks, then jumps up and down on them until they turn into a vapor that it inhales to live. The only sound you make is a snort, but that’s okay because you can use that for both humor and disapproval, which are really the only two things you need to express anyway. THe world needs more ladies who will take absolutely no shit, so you enjoy inhaling your drunk lumberjacks, girl.
Make sure to subscribe, and rate and review for the bribe!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HBs! Oh boooyyyyyy. We're coming at you with Fires of Winter by Johanna Lindsey! I'm not gonna mince words. We loathed it. I'm not even sure this thing is funny. We did a lot of laughing, but mostly out of discomfort, bafflement, and rage. Part 2 will be funny, though! This is a Viking Times book originally published in 1980 and, while a Johanna Lindsey "bodice ripper" was requested, Melody really out did herself with this particular choice. We've got Vikings, betrayal, slavery, so. much. rape., and ... arms akimbo!
CONTENT WARNING: slavery, rape, assault, other various sexual assaults, kidnapping, and more.
SUPER SPECIAL BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT:
To the ultimate Queen of Pentacles: Happy birthday to Holly the woman who does it all, from flourishing at work, to hosting an excellent podcast, to nurturing your King of Pentacles and sweet rascal Mac, you’re a force to be reckoned with and your friends, especially Esther, hope you have an amazing birthday week.
PATREON SHOUT OUT:
Jennifer LB, you are descended from Hestia, the goddess of the hearth, architecture, and good order in all things. You may be an introvert, but you possess Hestia’s inviting warmth down to your core. The hearth was the center of every household and, so too. you are the center and glue of your family. Your tender nurturing, balanced with your scorching wit, are irreplaceable. And Hestia would be beyond proud of how you wield the Dewey decimal system. After all, what's more orderly than the miles of well organized bookshelves you preside over?
Indie Podcast Promo:
There Will Be Porn with Cait and Murda!
Vintage Porn recapped by millennial women who are mostly ok with butt stuff.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! We've got more Melody catnip: alien erotic romance! We're talking about Barbarian's Mate, the 7th installment of the Ice Planet Barbarians series. We've got Josie, the last of the original women to resonate, and Haeden, the grumpiest 7 foot blue alien a girl could ask for. But dudes! He's not grumpy! He's a secret cinnamon roll who just can't stop spilling in his loin cloth! This duke is a virgin and he's the virgin duke of her secret dreams.
Bonus Content:
Potty training, our humble comments on the title (get @ us authors, we offer our services to all), new segment transition: *Beep Boop Bird Click*, IUD hijinks, taking someone to your FURS, faking farts to hide your true love, luxury caves, lady nectar, heavy balls, spurs, sexy papoose, and how to not be a Romeo.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Maybelline Super Stay Matte in Self Starter (which she now concedes is the best lipstick on the market)
Melody: Make good choices for yourself, like not furtively eating frosting with a spoon like a Gollum.
For tons of bonus content, shout outs, and gifts, check out our PATREON!
Patreon Shout Out:
Whitney J. You are descended from Poseidon. Just like the god of the sea, horses, and earthquakes, you know how to juggle everything within your domain to perfection. You possess the depth and power of the sea, with a good sense of when to go with the flow. You have the loyalty, dependability, and high spirit of the fastest steed. And you have not only the wisdom and foresight to know when things need to be shaken up, but the courage to follow through. You love boundlessly and are fearsome when defending your domain.
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Hey all! We're back with part 2 of 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! Darcy and her werve Tom get steamy in a bar, make us shout "It's ON (TM) in the best ways, and force us to read too many gorgeous passages at an almost compulsive level.
Bonus Content: Tiffany Reisz got Melody a birthday present in her release of The Rose, Erin chats about the Bananas Books panel at Kiss Con, we plug Read Me Romance podcast, we share our wisdom about hard work bodies, Erin makes it clear that she DIDN'T objectify that man out loud... at first, we take a hard stand that we want only the most rational asshole, Erin shows her tarot prowess, you get a peek at our editing stratagems, Erin noodles, *Bing Boong Bong* Turtle Time with Erin and Melody.
Lady Loves:
Mel: C-section support panties are gonna be a great hack to get you close to the glory of underswears. Just get out that embroidery needle or iron-on kit and go to town!
Erin: Lizzo's new album Cuz I Love You. AMAZING lady love.
Check out Read Me Romance podcast!
iTunes https://apple.co/2zWd7tX Google Play https://bit.ly/2AGnL9v Spotify https://spoti.fi/2FFs205 Stitcher https://bit.ly/2yX2zeH
Patreon Shout Out:
Shevaun B, you are descended from Aglaea, one of the three graces who was known for beauty, splendor, glory, and adornment. You’ve taken what could be a lovely, yet shallow legacy and turned it into something truly inspiring. You understand the most important thing is to cultivate the beauty of your interior, so you take time and effort to learn and grow both intellectually and emotionally. You glorify your relationships with care and respect. You realize that true splendor lies in good food and even better company. And you adorn your beings with the hallmarks of a life well-lived: love, laughter, loyalty, and longevity.
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Hey HB's! We're coming in hot after 2 weeks of being away from each other while Erin was traveling. And we've got 99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne! It's her second novel and it's just as quirky, funny, beautiful, and romantic, plus it's packing some extra depth with a heroine on the road to healing and a hero who's trying not to buckle under the pressure the world puts on him. Childhood friends! Tiny dogs! Sugar addiction! Fortune telling Grandma! Contemporary WERVE! It's got everything.
Bonus Content:
Erin's EPIC first meeting with Sally Thorne.
Lady Loves:
Melody: Get yourself a big change if you're feeling like you're in a rut. This haircut was everything I needed and more.
Erin: Read the Behind the Book Essay in this novel. Sally Thorne had to start over from scratch in the face of The Hating Game's huge, unexpected success and she wrote this book with her sweat and tears and worry and above all, her insane talent and voice. She uses this essay to inspire readers to finish whatever impossible thing they've started because "whether it's a success or a failure, no one can take your The End prize away from you."
Brittany B, you are a Nereid, a sea nymph who represents all of the best parts of the ocean. Your personality is kind as a helpful current, your intellect as bountiful as an untouched coral reef, your heart as deep and wide as the Mariana Trench, and your wit as quick as a darting fish. People should know not to mess with you, though, because you've got riptides and crashing waves enough to protect you and everyone you love. Nereids are represented by beautiful maidens and girl, you got that going on, too.
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Hey friends! Melody is joined by friend of the pod and Golden Heart Finalist Sara Netzley AKA Sara Whitney! We're coming at you with a DELICIOUS novella by Alyssa Cole, Can't Escape Love! It's part of her Reluctant Royals series, where Portia's twin sister Reggie gets her HEA with the puzzle nerd of her dreams. It's adorable, it's smart, it's witty, it's super sexy. And it's a great primer for A Prince On Paper, which comes out on April 30!
Bonus Content: Kiss Con Jealousy, salad dressing, and more chats about open-eyed kissing!
Lady Loves:
Sara: the mid-2000's TV show Chuck, staring Zachary Levi and Yvonne Strahovski (StraHOTski!).
Melody: Oreos, but more than that, recognize when something will be good for you, even if you need to reframe your mindset or pump yourself up to get there and DO IT!
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Hey HB's! Erin joined cult favorite Cole on his podcast to recap the best rom com of all time, The Cutting Edge. As a former competitive figure skater and semi-professional podcaster, Erin jumps right in and tells Cole what he’s been getting wrong in the podcast (a lot), drops scorching hot takes, and gives you all the on-the-ice details you need. Don't worry guys, she's only seen this movie at least 185 times and she STILL took detailed notes. Listen to just how deadly the “Pamchenko Twist” is, why Olympic figure skating shouldn’t be done in the dark, and Erin’s theory about Terry O’Quinn’s acting method (hint: it all starts with facial hair). “Toepiiiiiiiiick!!!!"
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Sarah B., you are Thalia, one of the Graces, and the goddess of Festivity and Banquets. You have a warm, enthusiastic personality, and a smile that can light up any room. While not in the mood to entertain all the time, you still use your welcoming effervescence to put anyone you come in contact with at ease. You have a deep well of love and your friends really appreciate the way you tailor your affection to suit each and every one individually.
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Hey HB's! Happy Monday! Are you ready for the conclusion of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell? The slow burn is about to pay off! Plus, this excellent romance turns into an all-out action movie we want to see.
Bonus Content:
Melody's serious face, hair falling out by the fistful, the Chris EVANS Mountain Lodge candle from Yankee Candle, all of the amazing and hilarious cult videos about the candle, don't you dare touch our spanx, the well-known Constantinople Wagon, a Colorado acre, Snoot Boopers: Equine Edition, and so much more!
Sponsored by Through the Red Door by Sadira Stone! You can find her debut contemporary novel on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Googleplay, Overdrive, Kobo, and iTunes!
Description:
Letting him inside could be her salvation…or her undoing.
Clara Martelli clings to Book Nirvana, the Oregon bookshop she and her late husband Jared built together. When rising rents and corporate competition threaten its survival, her best hope is their extensive erotica collection, locked behind a red door. In dreams and signs, her dead husband tells her it's time to open that door and move on. When a dark and handsome stranger's powerful magnetism jolts her back to life and he wants a look at the treasures of that secret room, she can't help but want to show him more.
Professor Nick Papadopoulos is looking for historical erotica. Book Nirvana's collection surpasses his wildest dreams, and so does its lovely owner. A widower, he understands Clara's battle with guilt, but their searing chemistry is too strong to resist. Besides, he will only be in town for two weeks, not long enough for her to see beyond the scandal that haunts his past.
Patreon Shout Out!
Shante G., you are an acolyte of Iris, Greek goddess of the Rainbow and messenger for the gods. Just like Iris, your specialty is helping people get their messages out to the world, helping them curate their ideas to have the most impact. But, lady, you do it with passion and pizzazz. You bring the full spectrum of verve to everything you do, because you can’t help but be the personification of a rainbow. For many coastal-dwelling Greeks, rainbows would appear to arc from the ocean up into the clouds, so they believed that Iris replenished the rain clouds with water. Just like her, you rejuvenate everyone you come in contact with because of your positivity and love.
Be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. And follow us on all the socials!
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Hey HB's! This here is Part 1 of Eyes of Silver, Eyes of Gold by Ellen O'Connell. We've got an interracial relationship which starts with a traumatic shotgun wedding, a slow-burn romance that pays off (in our next episode), and so much action and world-building we couldn't do it all justice. This book is an excellent western and an excellent romance, but we have some content warnings! There are depictions of assault, sexual assault, animal abuse, racism, and more.
Bonus Content: Alaskan minigolf and a hibachi engagement, new time period thanks to HB Fanny - Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman Times!, Melody gets a visceral education about the word mongrel, cowboy leans, Erin has udder questions, Melody brings the club to the country with abs, abs, abs, DICK!, Melody decides that Hapa is an acceptable term to use for the hero, who is half Native American, half white, because that's the accepted and celebrated term she grew up with in Hawaii for mixed-race babies and what she calls her own children, hilarious practical jokes in Dr. Quinn Times, how we imagine Ann C. listens to the podcast, and so much more.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: You can curl your hair with a skinny strightening iron!
Melody: SPF - get it on your face.
Episode Sponsor:
Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"
Patreon Shout Out!
Bethany M., you are smiled upon by Hi'iaka, the Hawaiian goddess of hula, chants, sorcery, and medicine. Hi'iaka was known for her loyalty, dedication, kindness, and bravery. Like her, you will take up perilous quests for those you love, whether they deserve it or not. Hi'iaka helped the people of Hawaii express themselves through hula and song and you similarly use your technological skills to do the same. And if she had bluetooth, you bet believe there would have been more than one mishap as she consumed her smut. Most of all, you're beautiful on the inside and out, and will be rewarded just as she was.
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Hey HB's! We're here with The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory. It's a contemporary, BWWM romance that's... mostly about donuts and coffee? THAT'S UNFAIR. Listen, we really wanted to love this one and we didn't.
BONUS CONTENT: Hey skippers! You're in luck because Erin is over banter. Melody might be extra critical because she's acclimating to her hormonal IUD, but she doesn't think that's the problem. Awkwardness that can happen in interracial relationships, illegible muppet notes, has Erin been to her own wedding?, Michael's secret Toy Story obsession, bathroom trips with friends new and old, that one wedding where Erin was double-fisting double gins and Melody was heaping dairy on her plate (intolerance be damned), tip-of-the-nose-kissing gets a boop on the snoot, Snoot Boopers: a new show for dogs, *BING BOONG BONG* HIPAA Violations with Erin, and the problem with depictions of body issues with no orgasmic band-aid.
We mention Black Chick Lit Podcast and Lacey's GoodReads review of The Proposal! Check them both out! Twitter: @blackchicklit, Instagram: @bclpodcast
Not Your Mom's Romance Book Club also has a review about this novel! Twitter and Instagram: @notyourmomsrom
Self Love Recommendations:
Melody: don't feel bad about DNFing a book. Read something you know you'll love like I did with Surrender to Sin and The Devil's Submission by Nicola Davidson.
Erin: You guys there's this new show called Snoot Boopers that's a riot and a half. So if you're a dog in a TV rut, check that nonsense out!
Episode Sponsor:
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Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"
Patreon Shout Out!
Sarah E., you are a Ghost Writer. No, not someone who helps authors finish their manuscripts, but rather a shy, friendly ghost that rearranges text to solve cozy mysteries, correct grammar, help children learn, and basically make everything better. Ghost writers are known to travel through time, illuminating historical texts for today’s readers and giving new voice to history. They are known to hang out with Jamal, Gabby and the gang in Brooklyn in 1995, but also curled up with a cup of tea and a feline companion when not on the job. In related news, boy, do we hope you watched the American kids TV show, Ghostwriter.
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It's our 75th episode and we're here for the conclusion of A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! Feyre and Rhysand are working together, spying badly, dry humping in the Court of Nightmares, and FALLING LURVE FOREVER.
Bonus Content: Pleasure Barges, Scrotal Wings, IUD's, Bing Boong Bong Immortality Bathtubs with Erin, and so much more.
Lady Loves:
Erin: The Shkoop! A staple of arctic fashion.
Melody: Get yourself some clothes that fit. Waiting until you lose that X amount of lbs and fit into your pants again just makes you needlessly feel terrible about yourself. Dress the body you've got because it's wonderful and gorgeous and good to you.
Check out out PATREON to see all the awesome benefits you can get by supporting us!
Patreon Shout Out!
Ashley M., you are the Loch Ness Monster. Hear us out. Deep in what appears to be a quiet sea of cubicles, lurks an HB with some serious smut in her headphones. Like Nessie, you are more than happy to submerge with a good book or reality show for a few hundred years, and you only show your scales when absolutely necessary – to stand up for what you believe in, or to protect your beloved home, family, and furbabies. Most of all, like the magical, immortal creature of the Loch, you are absolutely one of a kind.
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Hey HB's!! IT'S TIME! We're finally talking about A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas! It's book 2 of her Court of Thorns and Roses Series. We've got Feyre out from under the mountain and engaged to that dumb dummy Tamlin, but not for long! Then it's all night court all the time.
SKIPPERS! Skip to 20:35 if you want to get straight to the book. You're gonna miss out on Ripped Bodice, though.
Bonus Content: Blood sharing, new names for book 1, Erin's Pilgrimage to The Ripped Bodice, Sexy Night King sexiness, "Schmerger," Spring Court: The Taint of Fairyland, Erin still refuses to learn or remember names, #feministfaeisbae, Bing Boong Bong Tamlin's Not that Bad with Erin, Bing Boong Bong Tamlin is a Big Dumb Dummy with Melody, Water Wraith Drummer Boys, and the best, most delicious Brownie Batter metaphor you've ever heard. YUM.
Self Love Recommendations: Erin: The Magicians Season 4 and Little Italy, a terribly wonderful movie on Amazon Prime
Melody: Big Mouth Season 2 and "We're all a little broken, that's how the light gets in"
Episode Sponsor:
Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"
Patreon Shout Out!
Blair B., you are a Basilisk. You are a great serpent queen with a deadly glare, turning lesser beings to stone with just one glance. Leaving deadly venom in your wake for all those deserving of your ire, you are one badass lady. According to our online research, you only have two weaknesses: the odor of weasels (weird, right?) and preteen Gryffindors, so watch out for that. Otherwise, you are pretty much the queen of everything.
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Erin and Melody discuss The Seduction of Viscount Vice by Nicola Davidson. It's a DELICIOUS England Times/Highlander Times 2nd chance love story between a burly Highlander and the lass he thought was dead. There's also the pleasure club he owns, the pleasure club she's helping to open by spying on him, excellent side characters, betrayal, and sexy exhibitionism!
Bonus Content:
Mel talks about experiencing postpartum anxiety, Erin woke up feeling REAL ok with not having any responsibility this morning, apple tarts, Prince Thabiso makes a cameo, flirting via cakes, awarding the Heaving Bosoms Cunt Award, highlander hair salon dreams, PIRATE QUEENS, sexy theater directions, Sexy Pied Pipers, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Erin: The Spanx Pillow Cup Signature Pushup Plunge Bra. It's got memory foam cups!
Melody: Take care of yourself, forgive yourself, and don't forget to do something you love, even when you're not quite feeling up to it. Your day will improve!
Episode Sponsor:
Use the offer code HEAVINGBOSOMS10 to get 10% off your first order!
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night"
Patreon Shout Out!
Dani R., you are a Manticore. With the body of a great cat, the spiny tail of a scorpion, and the face of a beautiful woman, you are known for your ability to be many things at once – majestic, snuggly, cunning, lethal, and of course, drop dead gorgeous. A worldly being, you have components from Egypt, Persia, and India, picking up knowledge and skills wherever you go. Sure, you also eat human flesh, but we’re sure it’s only when you got reasons.
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Hey HB's! This week Erin is telling Melody all about Tikka Chance On Me by Suleikha Snyder. It's a delicious novella about a motorcycle club enforcer (or so we think!) and the dutiful daughter working at her parent's Indian restaurant. After months of eyeboning, they learn that the only thing this Chris Evans lookalike might love more than samosas is the Heroine.
Bonus Content:
Sing Movie takeover, the Lunar Eclypse in Alaska, Doggy Genetics, how we'd handle a cease and desist order (with champagne!), and the fact that we can't handle it when Romancelandia is angry.
Lady Loves:
Erin - Schitt's Creek. Come for the Canadian sitcom, but stay for the best portrayal of a gay romance that she's seen in a while.
Melody - the band Me First and the Gimme Gimmes! If you love dancing like a fool to punk covers of great songs, these cats are for you! They're happiness in your speakers.
Patreon Shout Out:
This is a gifted shout out from Susan. Sarah R., you are descended from Maui, the great demigod if Polynesia. Maui was a trickster, a creator, and a survivor. Like Maui, you are beloved for your selfless sense of caring and protection. Maui pulled the Hawaiian islands from the bottom of the ocean and defeated Tuna The Long Eel; similarly, you will bend over backwards to make miracles happen for those you love. And the trickster isn’t quite out of your system. Your red hot sense of humor keeps everyone in belly laughs, and in check, when you’re in their orbit. Maui was dedicated to making the world a better place for all humans and that lives on in you. Your commitment to serving our country, your family, your rescue animals, and your tireless, sometimes biting positivity make him proud. And on a very personal and immediate level: Lady, you’ve got an entire cult, an entire coven behind you. Your light cannot be diminished.
Mentioned in this episode:
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We're BAAAAAAAAACK! It's Erin. It's Melody. TOGETHER AGAIN! In this episode we chat a bit about what we did over maternity leave, but mostly we talk about all about the books we read (listed below) and the 2019 HB Reading Embrace!
- Merry Inkmas by Talia Hibbert
- A Girl Like Her by Talia Hibbert
- Untouchable: A Small Town Romance by Talia Hibbert
- Just For Him Complete Series by Talia Hibbert
- Dare to Love a Duke by Eva Leigh
- Fair, Bright, and Terrible by Elizabeth Kingston
- A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas
- A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas
- Once Ghosted, Twice Shy by Alyssa Cole
- The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon by Jenny Nordbak
- Heart and Hand by Rebel Carter
Bonus Content:
Breastfeeding friendship mishaps because Valor is a special guest!
Patreon Shout Out:
Kathy, you are descended from the Hippocampus; the half horse, half sea creature who was often depicted pulling Poseidon's chariot. Like the Hippocampus, you're graceful and agile, if not always physically, definitely mentally. Your conversation flows due to your creativity, imagination, and easy empathy. Your pack animal ancestor was known to live deep in the ocean, away from the tumult of the surface and, likewise, you crave time in your refuge to recharge, soaking up the tranquility and loyalty of your inner circle. Sailors considered the Hippocampus a good omen because they were a gentle, care-taking creature. Those qualities are reflected in your deep, soulful eyes, while the sparkle and fine laugh lines are a reflection of the joy you take in the choices you've made.
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It's our final guest-hosted episode and our first all-lady romance as Erin and her friend Liz dive into And Playing the Role of Herself by K.E. Lane. This is a steamy contemporary about two actresses on a Law and Order-style TV show -- one that can't stop being a total bitch, and one that can't stop getting horribly injured. It's fitting that this was our first, because it seems to be the first lesbian romance for a lot of romance readers! If you've ever thought about or read Law and Order: SVU fan fiction, this one is for you! Bonus Content: Morning breath issues, toe rings, confusing spit takes, noises we make when we really appreciate food, swiping right on a clitoris, obscure references from The Bachelor and Days of Our Lives, the cookie diet, the mysterious way Erin's cats died, lesbian love sex, and plenty of Law and Order: SVU discussion. Lady Loves: Erin: The new Kindle Paperwhite Liz: The Wirecutter, Sweethome, and The Strategist for every purchase you make.
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Hey HB's! Tanya's here with Melody for the final part of Cat Sebastian's A Soldier's Scoundrel! Jack and Oliver figure out the mystery of the stolen letters, have some VERY SEXY sexy time, and get their HEA.
Bonus Content:
*Bing Boong Bong* Anal Sex with Tanya, Talent Boners, Melody's inability to say the phrase worcestershire sauce, Sara N's personal library, and how to be a good friend with a library.
Lady Loves:
Tanya: Three lady-led TV shows that are great! The Bold Type on Freeform, Imposters on Bravo, and Killjoys on SciFi.
Melody: Deep condition your hair! Sometimes, it's just as effective as a trip to refresh your locks.
Tanya: It's never too late! If you need to uproot your life to make an important change, then UPROOT YOUR LIFE! Tanya went back to finish her degree at 37 and is now completing her Masters degree!
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Hey HB's! It's the next episode of maternity leave line up, featuring TANYA! Oh that's right, Tanya from A Knight in Shining Armor fame and glory. Don't worry, she says her piece here.
This week, we're covering part 1 of A Soldier's Scoundrel by Cat Sebastian. It's a queer romance featuring an injured veteran gentleman and a criminal-turned-fixer from the streets. Will they solve the case of the Lady's missing letters? And will they be able to suppress their own desires long enough to do so with their hearts uncompromised?
Bonus Content: A little about our friendship, the England Times gay scene, and the vehicle we're calling The Jeep of England Times.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey all! We have a special guest for you! JENNY NORDBAK FROM THE WICKED WALLFLOWERS CLUB PODCAST! *squeee!*
Jenny and I talk all about Priest by Sierra Simone. A gorgeous tale about a Priest who's tempted for the first time when he meets a new resident in town. He's got a six pack and a dominant side, and while she's looking for direction for herself, they just might be each other's salvation... or undoing. The squee is real in this episode, y'all. Melody might reach pitches only dogs can hear at times.
Bonus content: Jenny's book The Scarlett Letters: My Secret Year of Men in an LA Dungeon, SchemePod, drunk yoga, BUTT STUFF, and more!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Melody: Put cinnamon directly into your french press when you make winter coffee. Yum!
Jenny: So Beautifully Broken Jewelry. A fellow book lover makes beautiful custom jewelry with many of our favorite lines of books and other motivational sayings.
http://sobeautifullybroken.com/
Instagram: @terriellenburg
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Oh HBs, do we have a treat for you! Erin and Sara Netzley of The DC TV Report podcast sit down to gush and giggle over Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren, a sweet(but hot) contemporary with more internal conflict than we could handle at times. This one features overworked scientist Hannah and her older brother’s hot friend, Will. If you like outspoken heroines and reformed players, this one is for you!
BONUS CONTENT: “Nerd Lingo with Sara,” names for hats, the merits of having a murdery boyfriend, the dos and don'ts of food and sex, “Sexual Safety without Mel,” rules for putting Jesus statues in your cleavage, and pooping in ditches at Disney World.
Lady Loves: The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and My Dad Wrote a Porno
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This week Erin teamed up with her friend of fifteen years, Cole, a straight man and novice romance reader, to read The Marriage Contract by Katee Robert. It's a romantic suspense story set in the seedy world of Boston's Irish mafia (or underground?). Do you like Logistics with Erin? Because this episode is basically a two-hour rant about how the mafia and FBI work, with some high praise for *very* good sexytimes, banter, and dirty talk! Plus, we've got in-depth discussions of the critically acclaimed masterpiece, We Bought a Zoo, high school plays, the Bold and the Beautiful, the secret reason Cole needs to go to the Cracker Barrel in Victorville, and more movie references than any of you ever wanted. Spot Conlon! Brooklyn!
Patreon Shout Out:
Bridget M., you are a modern-day high priestess of Nike, the goddess of strength and victory. As a devout worshipper, you know your goddess has been a little misunderstood over the years, because there’s more to life than just winning. Nike is the deity of all the hard work and training that has to go into any endeavor before victory can be assured. Like your lady, you know that self-improvement can always be attained with the right attitude, tools, and sense of commitment that is bones-deep. More than that, you have come around to the notion that you, just as you are, are worth all the effort and long-hours. Furthermore, you’re the embodiment of Nike’s most well-known role in ancient times: divine charioteer. Just like she flew around battlefields rewarding victors with glory and fame, you lift up those around you daily. You’re an amazing role model not only because of your hard work, but because of your innate sense that a rising tide lifts all boats. You’re the cheerleader everyone needs and they can’t help but be inspired by your actions as well as your effervescent support.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
It's here, it's HERE, the MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! The stockings are hung, Melody is wrapped in her Reindeer Onesie, knowing the Reindeer Mafia will protect every HB, and we've got basically unlimited access to ALL THE CHRISTMAS LOVE MOVIES. This episode we recap Christmas Wedding Planner. There's, you guessed it, a plucky wedding planner, a PI who's not afraid to ruin everything, and a mystery surrounding the groom-to-be. Will two actors with absolutely zero chemistry fall in lo--WAIT, IS THAT JOEY FATONE? Indeed it is!
Bonus Content: You guys, as of recording Melody is SO PREGNANT. STILL. Also, Deathly Hallows concerts, fried chicken scones, mean mugging, set design excellence, a Melody reaction involving a mahogany desk that Erin wasn't expecting, JOEY FATONE, Melody's excellent impressions, and so much cackling we may have hit our limit.
Patreon Shout Out:
Ushma P., you are a descendent and acolyte of Euphrosyne, one of the three Greek Charities, or Graces. They were responsible for spreading joy and cheer throughout the world, and Euphrosyne in particular was the embodiment of beauty and grace. Ushma, you bring the same enthusiasm and mirth to any task you take on. Like the Graces, you know that a smile and positive attitude can make any situation, no matter how serious, more palatable, and your outlook is a ray of sunshine to anyone you meet. Do you govern your entire life with frivolity? Absolutely not. Instead, you know that the best launching pad for any interaction is kindness and you will offer others the benefit of the doubt as much as humanly possible. However, you’re also not one to let opportunities pass you by in favor of passing fancies, nor will you be anyone’s doormat. Instead, you see every occasion as an opportunity for betterment, whether it’s for yourself or the world at large. Your big heart and sunny disposition give you great power for good.
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Hey HB's! We got into the Christmas Spirit by reading two novellas within this anthology called Heiress Alone by Joanna Shupe and Meet Me In Mayfair by Tessa Dare! Each of these wonderful novellas are tied together by Sarah MacLean's family shortbread recipe and they are just as scrumptious as your favorite holiday cookie. Patrons should stay tuned for our recaps of the other two novellas, because those will be coming soon! Happy Holidays!
Bonus Content:
Our Christmases: David makes eggnog by hand, Melody is a crazy person when it comes to cards and has opinions about when it's appropriate to start your Christmasing. Erin waxes more philosophic about how her story is a time travel novella. Hear all about the best way to survive the cold; it involves shared nakedness, sleeping bags, and Fox Moulder's infinite wisdom. We give you a pro-tip about watching the movie Atonement. Hear all about Melody's strategy at events with passed appetizers. And Melody continuously shuts Erin the hell down.
Patreon Shout Out:
Mary F., you are one of the many descendents of the Hydra. Like all quote, unquote villains of history, the hydra’s story was told by the victor and omitted the hydra’s many wonderful qualities. As a water-dweller, the hydra took many of her characteristics from her surroundings. She was principled, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t adapt to a change in the flow. She was highly emotionally intelligent and an empath, which is something you’ve channeled in your existence; so deep was her emotional intuition that she often needed time away in her cave to recharge after interactions with others. More than anything, though, was her power of persistence and regeneration, which have both suited you well in your life. When knocked down, you’re not one to stay down. What many don’t know is those powers didn’t come from her poisonous blood or breath; no those are just a mark of her species. Her powers of regeneration and persistence came from her loyal, abiding, and protective heart. She could not leave those she loved to suffer alone, so she would reinvent herself at any attack to ensure their safety and happiness. You, Mary, you have that same deep well of vigor and rejuvenation and you use them well.
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Hey HB's! We finish up our discussion of Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips!
Bonus Content: Alaskan earthquakes, month-long Christmas for very pregnant Melody, more stories of Rooster the Dog, our demand for discernible lady orgasms and maybe some goddamned foreplay, Melody is almost defeated but then goes ape-shit over depictions of disordered eating, gaslighting, that time Erin got 3 pairs of FUBU jeans because her mom was MAKING A STATEMENT, and so much more!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: earthquake putty. Do it! Do it today! Get it done!
Melody: don't fucking take it anymore. If you feel like you need to be polite and always brush things off, know that you don't. Own your outrage and express it in any healthy form that appropriate for the setting, x3. Your default will usually be less than what is appropriate for any setting.
Special thanks to Jenn at Post Pouring Company for the amazing Keep Being a Bad Ass candle! It got Melody through the editing she had to redo last-minute.
Social Media: @postpourco
Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PostPourCo
Patreon Shout Out:
Jenny N., you are a descendent of The Fates, the three sisters who use their prowessin the textile arts to tell the future of mortals. Like these three, you're talented with fabric, expressing yourself with piecework. You can take a collection of what other would call "nothing" and turn it into a gorgeous work of art that keeps people as warm as your personality, aura, and heart. In short, positively toasty. You've also taken your ancestor's cold talent for premonition and turned it on it's head by shaping the future of anyone who encounters you with your vast wisdom and bottomless empathy. You might untether people, but instead of cutting their life cords, you cut the leashes keeping them bound to their own sense of limits, insecurity, and to the voices in their heads telling them they can't. You're truly inspiring.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey y'all! I feel like we haven't hated something for a MINUTE. Well, get stoked because we... didn't like this very much. We've got a hot mess heroine that was even too much for Melody and a douchenozzle hero who thinks he wants a wife, but is really looking for a personal assistant/status enhancer he can take to the bonezone. Will they see that they're perfect for each other? Probably. Will they be right? WHO KNOWS; THIS IS ONLY PART ONE.
Content Warning: clumsy and sometimes downright gross treatment of a transgender character, and illusions that Trump is the hero's actual hero throughout. This was published in 2005, though, so try to keep that in mind.
Bonus Content: Melody is wearing her Reindeer Mafia Onesie! Rooster is getting old. Erin divulges that on paper Melody would confuse and annoy her; thank goodness we know each other in person! Plus, all the snake imagery, misunderstanding of kundalini yoga, and imagined vaginal attacks you probably never knew you needed.
Lady Loves:
Erin: Holistic Tarot Agency Podcast. Co-hosted by an HB, it's all the witchy, tarot, giggly content that can make Erin's pagan heart soar. Also, they accept questions, so participate!
Melody: 1. Set some boundaries and be brutal in enforcing them. Your interpersonal relationships will thank you in the long run. And 2. Aromatherapy booties. They're hot! They're cold! They smell amazing! They will relax and delight you.
Indy podcast promo: americansexpodcast.com Check them out!
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Heyyyyyyyyy HB’s! Many of you have requested books from Sarah J. Maas’ series A Court of Thorns and Roses and we are here with book 1! Book two will follow after Melody’s maternity leave. We meet Feyre, a human girl who’s taken on the burden of providing for her fallen family, and Tamlin, a Faerie High Lord who needs to win her heart in order to break a curse and save the world. Book 1 is such a BEAUTIFUL introduction to this world, but it’s also super dense. We may have fudged some details here and there. We may have done things out of order. We might have taken some liberties in our tangents. Whatever, we loved it! Tamlin is a big sweet dummy and Rhysand is the sexiest king of the night in Everdom. Also, NECKBITES.
Bonus Content: Erin hates Melody’s current TMI just because pregnancy is gross, GOAT joins us in the recording studio, Melody says District 11 when she meant 12, we talk about stupid titties and ungrateful sisters, Erin accidentally admits a food group you can’t expect, Erin has to endure an entire book with a GOLD MASQUERADE MASK shudders, and we discuss how we’d react to a Calamari Party with enchanted wine. Spoiler alert: Melody’s tits would be out.
Lady Love Recs:
Erin: the podcast My Dad Wrote a Porno had a wonderful bonus episode featuring Dame Emma Thompson AND IT WAS PURE MAGIC. She talks all about her theory on sex education with her daughter, her whips, and is generally just the Queen we all want to worship.
Melody: you know that To Do list you might be neglecting? Is it mocking you? Are you lying awake at night? If so, bite the bullet and get stuff done! It feels so good to get those accomplished and cross them off the list, or remove the post-it from your to-do board.
Patreon Shout-Outs:
Katie T., you are a shining descendent of Cerberus, watchdog of the underworld. By nature, you're very kind and protective, shepherding those under your purview with great care. However, you have high standards for your loyalty and you're not afraid to dish out consequences to those who step out of line or abuse others. You have great respect for the arts, talent, and the beautiful in this world, so you've been known to show your soft underbelly when pampered by someone you trust. You also may only have one head, but you retained the cast amount of wisdom that Cerberus packed into each of his 3 brains, so your capacity for knowledge AND empathy is a thing to behold.
This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!
Website: bubblesandbooks.com
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/
Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
It’s the mostly tingly time of the year... That’s right everyone, we read CHUCK TINGLE! In this episode, we recap Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large and Space Raptor Butt Invasion. Can Mark handle his attraction to a mythical creature who’s a lawyer AND a doctor? Will Lance have to spend have to spend his entire time on the planet Zorbus alone, or will he be able to warm up the cold-blooded creature he meets there? Come with us on these journeys to self-discovery, new sexual horizons, and all the semen descriptions you might be able to handle. THEN, if you’re a patron, you get to hear us tell each other about two bonus stories! And, I always feel silly saying this because everything we do is explicit, but this one is EXPLICIT. The text demands and we deliver.
Bonus Content: THE WINNER OF THE BUBBLES AND BOOKS GIVEAWAY is Jennifer Sumner! Congrats, Jennifer! Melody tells everyone about officiating her friend's wedding, dancing her face off, and staying up until 3am like a kid... and the aftermath. We also get into the murky story of national treasure Dr. Chuck Tingle, Banksy of Erotica, why something is exponentially funnier if you aggressively include their professions in the description, the merits and demerits of sex against the window of the 72nd floor, and good goddess we hope all the descriptions of things being gay aren’t meant to be funny in a bad way. It feels too pure to be bad! It brings too much joy! And *Bing Boong Bong* Mythical Creature Safe Sex with Melody and Logistics with Erin.
Lady Love Recs:
Melody: Try a new fun thing called “Breakfast in Bath.” It’s far superior to Breakfast in Bed because you won’t drop crumbs in your sheets, you get all the bathtime relaxation you want, you start the day exfoliated, and it’s generally amazing. Erin is HORRIFIED, but we have very different bathtime strategies and outlooks.
Erin: ERIN NEEDS TO GET SOMETHING OFF HER CHEST. Forever ago, she rec’d a Bare Minerals lipstick that’s made with cocoa powder and NOBODY DID A GODDAMNED THING. Now there’s apparently a “cult lipstick” that Melody rec’d WAY LATER and it’s been quietly “grinding [her] gears.” Wait no, her Lady Love is an episode of Busy Tonight with Busy Philipps. On the episode with Emily Ratajkowski where they do a bit about the weirdest things women have ever found in their bras that had her DYING with laughter.
Patreon Shout-Outs:
Brandon S., you are a rare unicorn-centaur hybrid. Your unicorn lineage gives you the nobility, purity of heart, and sweetness of temperament which makes others crave our presence and respect. And your centaur side gives you wisdom and positivity in pursuits of both the mind and of the flesh. Regardless of your methods, you have an innate ability to make anyone feel wonderful about themselves and life in general
This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!
Website: bubblesandbooks.com
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/
Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! This week on Heaving Bosoms we're finishing up our coverage of The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands! Are you on pins and needles about how he stealths her for the second time? Do you want to know who's trying to kill Saidh? Are you super invested in #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, or Melody's new addition #personhoodforMilly? WE HOPE SO. But, spoiler alert: you're only gonna get the first couple. Our hashtags sadly didn't trend in time for poor Fenella or Milly. But mostly Fenella.
Bonus Content: the Pastafarian Ministry and their successes, Melody's feel good vibes about her officiant dress in the cult, *Bing, Boong, Bong* Murder Times with Erin and Capital L Ladies with Melody, and a new turn of phrase, "did you crickets him?" That's right, we present a new verb: "to crickets."
IT'S GIVEAWAY WEEK! Bubbles and Books is offering a free monthly box to the lucky winner of our Heaving Bosoms Giveaway! Visit www.bubblesandbooks.com/bosoms to enter!!
Lady Loves:
Melody - Be okay with your well-reasoned choices, even if there's a lot of societal pressure saying that your decisions are antithetical to some role or status. Mel misses Ember, but she's also RELISHING the extra time she has while he's across the world being immersed in Mandarin and spending quality time with family.
Erin - SOUP. That's right. One word. SOUP. It's soup and stew season and we loves it. We'll post recipes this week!
Patreon Shout Out: Aasha M., you are a Greek Muse, a goddess of literature, science, the arts, and, in your case, so much more. You are the embodiment of inspiration, not just because of your positivity and supportiveness, but also because you lead by example. Whether is a career accomplishment, a creative flair, or the way you overcome hardship, those around you can learn a huge amount if they pay attention. While you're not boastful, you're also not stingy with the details of your process, so anyone can improve themselves just by being a member of your Greek choir, or at the very least, positioning themselves in your close orbit. And it should to without saying that your taste is impeccable, but I'll say it: you have impeccable taste.
This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!
Website: bubblesandbooks.com
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/
Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Happy Monday, HB’s! This week we’re heading back in our fiction time machine to HIGHLANDER TIMES with The Highlander Takes a Bride by Lynsay Sands. Melody really loved this reading/listening experience. Erin would describe it as two sociopaths falling in love. If you like a Scottish Brogue combined with red hot sexy times, some murder, some intrigue, a whodunit, and a TRADITIONAL HIGHLANDER FINGERBANGING, then this book is for you!
Bonus Content: #justiceforFenella, #justiceforMilly, *Bing Boong Bong* Murder Times with Erin, our thoughts on communication within relationships and/or life, many talks about “duckies,” and Mel speaking about her first time with the phrase “I knew a lot about sex, but I didn’t know how to enact the mechanics.”
Lady Love Recs:
Erin: People in the cult have started a weekly AMA thread called Ask A Badass because there are SO MANY BADASSES with cool jobs and interests in the cult! It’s amazing. Join and ask questions!
Melody: Follow the artists Karen Hallion and Brett Weldele on all the socials. They’re awesome!
Patreon Shout-Outs:
Jennifer S., you are the Hermes of Smut and Embracing your weird. Your particular wheelhouse is when something seems questionable on the surface, but will bring hours of joy, self-reflection, and giggles. You are clever, mischievous, and, most of all, heartfelt in your pursuits and relationships. Just like Hermes was a god with varying and vast responsibilities under his umbrella, your beneficence knows few bounds. What more can I say about the person who brought Grace Goodwin into our lives? You’re truly a treasure.
Alie S., you are a modern day acolyte of Artemis. You appreciate the forests and hills she governed and you’re a lover of animals, but you also apply her principles to your modern-day interests. You come to your pursuits with an excitement akin to wild abandon, and you’re always on the hunt for your next passion project. Meanwhile, the purity of focus you apply to your loved ones and the protective instincts you cultivate with children and those less fortunate than you would make your virginal, bow-carrying goddess proud. And just like the moon that Artemis loved, you have the ability to cast a soft, comforting glow on even the darkest situation.
This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!
Website: bubblesandbooks.com
Facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/
Pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromance
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Happy Halloween Week, HB's! This week we're coming at you with a sexy, spooky special: Mating the Huntress by Talia Hibbert. We've got a devoted Werewolf who just wants to impress his mate, and a bloodthirsty Huntress who's determined to prove her ability to slice and dice... her aforementioned mate. It's DELICIOUS!
Also, Talia, we're serious: did they, or did they not, eyeball that fingerbang?
Bonus Content:
*Bing Boong Bong* Culture Time with Erin and Melody, our thoughts on where you should and shouldn't commit a murder (psssst! Not at your house!), Erin's Blueberry Muffin Missile, the merits of going into a fight without underwear, more of Erin's thoughts on food in the bedroom, werewolf erections, tricksie witches, an Ember cameo, Dana Scully is Erin's Halloween Minion, and so much more!
Lady Love: Melody - When you can, communicate via video instead of just print or audio. It's WONDERFUL.
Patreon Shout Out:
Megan, you are a Selkie, a shape-shifting protector who can seamlessly transition from culture to culture, place to place, with a quick shedding or redonning of your seal skin. Your gentle, protective instincts make you a natural mentor and valued friend, and your beauty shines from the inside out. Though you may be naturally introverted, your strong sense of loyalty allows you to thrive in large groups, just like a regular seal. And your bark, when employed, can change even the most recalcitrant among us.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
IT'S BEEN A YEAR!!!!!!! We're so excited! In this episode we go through some listener emails, do a couple of Melody's Kryptonite: Top 5 Lists, and generally talk romance, the podcast, the cult, and YOU! Thank you so much to all you listeners, all you patrons, and everyone who has made this past year so amazing for us!
Bonus Content: Top 5 Heroes of books read on the podcast, Top 5 fictional characters overall, romance as escape, therapy, and a reminder that your feelings and emotional landscape are valid and important, why Melody would be the worst (best?) Bachelorette ever, How the podcast has helped us this year, Funny listener stories, TONKU revisited, our top snacks, How Erin met David, advice for people who are scared of starting or releasing a new creative project, and SO MUCH MORE!
Patreon Shout Out:
Christine D. you are a centaur from Chiron's line. While most centaurs are known for being ruled purely by their animal nature, Chiron the wise, teacher of Achilles, is where you get your lineage. Thus, you possess the best of both. You have the intuition of a healer and scholar, yet you're not afraid to partake in the pleasures this world has to offer. Your robust physiology makes you magnetic and your empathetic, quick-witted, herd-loving mind makes you a treasure your friends and family cherish.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey y'all! Thanks for your patience and understanding! Here's the wrap-up of our convo about The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. As Erin puts it, its the tale of two never-nudes who enter into a marriage of convenience, or, a slow burn with... very little burning?
Bonus content: Comic Con NYC, essential oils, Erin's engagement photos, our thoughts on who a guy is REALLY assaulting another dude for in "your name" (hint: it's never actually about you), the downside to Michael always thinking Melody is pretty, and new segments *BING BOONG BONG* Minions with Erin and Running Long Distances with Erin and Melody.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: SPANX MADE JEANS. If you like hugs for your butt, spend the money. Also, Lifetime movies. If you've forgotten their glory, treat yourself!
Melody: Maybelline Super Stay Matte Lip. It's so good!
Patreon Shout Out: Mirandia, you are a maenad who has grown bored of Dionysus and has set off for the altar of Athena. While you have little care for the war strategy she governs, you bring the same amount of mirth and frivolity to the worship of wisdom and art that you did while dancing naked with your maenad sisters under falls of wine. You have an innate sense of good taste and joy that's only strengthened by your commitment to building a safe, wonderful environment for your babies to flourish.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
This week, in part one, we cover The Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata. It's a "slow burn" with a former personal assistant turned full-time graphic designer and the Canadian football star who wants her back in his employ.. or life? Will they get together after a scheme to commit marriage fraud together?
This is, indeed, a slow burn. Emphasis on slow? We... tried to love this novel. And it didn't quite work.
Bonus Content: Curly girl tricks, *bing, boong, bong* Antihistamines with Erin, and so much more!
Lady Loves:
Melody - while trying to commit to bullet journaling, Melody has tried to enact the idea that something doesn't have to be perfect or beautiful, just useful. Do something against your nature and don't punish yourself if yours doesn't look like the youtube artist's.
Erin - LOVE FALL if that's what you love. More than that, keep loving what you love without apology and without fear of being called "basic" or whatever else people throw your way. Fuck 'em.
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
This week we finish up our discussion of A Princess in Theory by Alyssa Cole. Part 2 takes place IN THESOLO! Can Ledi solve the puzzle of the disease outbreak while learning more about her homeland and, perhaps, taking her place as it's future queen? Can we handle Thabiso's disney eyes and talk of happy endings? Can we handle the cave sex?
Bonus Content:
Erin's at-home London Fog, a quick discussion called "what are lattes," one woman shows, the most romantic socks EVER, Melody's theory that donkeys with literally any name are funny and adorable, Alaskan cattle drives are still not a thing, and so much more.
Self-Love Recommendation:
Melody - Pay attention to the ping pong balls (the things necessary to make you a happy, well-adjusted person) in your life and make sure you start with those. If you start with the jelly beans and sand, you'll have no time for the things in life that are essential to your happiness. https://www.facebook.com/viralmotion/videos/a-teacher-taught-his-students-a-valuable-lesson-about-life/1378315445631232/
Erin - Bare Minerals new matte lipstick that's infused with cocoa powder!
Mentioned in this episode:
Love the show? Leave a review!
Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! We're here with Part 1 of Alyssa Cole's A Princess In Theory. It's Book 1 of her Reluctant Royals series and SUCH A GREAT READ. We've got Naledi Smith, a public health grad student with 3 jobs and a good head on her shoulders because she was a life-long foster kid and knows she can only rely on herself. Then there's Thabiso Moshoeshoe, her long-lost betrothed, an African Prince, and a person she's never even heard of. He's determined to find out why her family disappeared and was never heard from again, but when Naledi mistakes him for just a regular guy, Thabiso embarks on an elaborate plot in the name of getting to know her better.
Bonus Content: Ember says goddamnit in front of his grandmother! We geek out over getting a DM response from THE ALYSSA COLE, Erin stumbles into the phrase "oiled up toddlers" (YEESH), Erin's tale of quitting dramatically, we swoon over the idea of experimenting with the tensile pressure of a beard on thighs, Melody waxes poetic about her Sex Ed Boner, Self-Assurance Boner, and Competency Boner. Erin worries about garlic, sleepy kisses. Melody expounds on the merits of a hot guy with a matriarchal religion. And Melody and Erin talk about the first "I love you's" they heard from their beaus. This is a doozy!
Lady Loves:
Melody: making friends as an adult is hard. So, if you meet someone you think you might connect with, do your best to push past the first few awkward pauses and see if there's something there! Melody met a woman who might turn out to be a great friend, but she wanted to take the escape hatch at every pause in their first conversation.
Erin: READ THIS BOOK.
Patreon Shout Out:
Haley J., you are a Naiad. A demi-goddess who makes her home in fresh water. Like the spring you inhabit, you're energetic, bubbly, and crucial to the well-being of those around you. A rich, vibrant, serene home-life is incredibly important to our vitality, so you're careful to curate a space and environment which allows you to thrive and stay inspired. Nurturing, beautiful, and protective, your nature is to give of yourself and your intellect needs to be fed like the plants that surround your lush space.
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Hey HB's! This week we're all getting treated with an interview with Tessa Dare! We chat about her new release The Governess Game, as well as her upcoming anthology How the Dukes Stole Christmas, her as a writer, reader, and political being.
There's more about duck sex, themes in The Governess Game like healing and grief, education, early childhood development, learning through play, inspiration from her own life, amazing women she's come across in her research, her auto-buy authors as a reader, her trope catnip, and so much more.
Authors and works mentioned:
- A Spark of Light by Jodi Picoult (out Oct. 2, 2018)
- Cat Sebastian
Self-Love Recommendations:
Melody - Try to practice constructive communication when you're in a conflict with a loved one and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself for that from other people. We get so caught up in wanting to be right and heard that we can lose sight of the feelings of others really quickly. So, if you need to process extra crap with someone, ask yourself, does it really need to be the person I'm in conflict with, or can my extraneous feelings be processed elsewhere?
Tessa - Learn a new skill....like making cocktails! She hosted a party at her house recently and had to take over the bar when the bartender was late. She had so much fun learning new cocktails for the guest's orders and gaining a new party trick.
Check out Tessa's interview with The Wicked Wallflowers Club as well. And special thanks to Jenny for her guidance about long-distance recording with a guest!
https://wickedwallflowersclub.com/
Instagram: @wckdwallflowers
Twitter: @wckdwallflowers
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Hey HB's! This week we read After We Fall by Melanie Harlow. It's a contemporary novel with a soul-searching, rich girl heroine and an emotionally isolated widower who's still navigating symptoms of PTSD. There's a farm. There are attempts at chores. There are accidental meetings. There are dubious outdoor decisions outdoors. There's some peeping. There's some excellent dirty talk. And TREE SEX. Oh yes.
Bonus Content: Erin is SO SICK! Rooster's probable Telegram Company. Melody's Bubble Bath. The Alaskan State Fair. Our thoughts on dudes with pastel whale shorts, boat shoes, and a disgusting sense of entitlement. A discussion of how to be a friend. And how Melody might employ gymnastics to coat your car in all sorts of nonsense if you don't offer her the bathroom.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Consider taking the leash off. Erin was too scared to let Rooster off the leash for years and this weekend she proved herself to be an ecstatic off-road adventure dog! Your loved ones could surprise you.
Melody: Make sure you're registered to vote! We've got some important upcoming elections whether local, state, and national elections. Your voice matters!
Patreon Shout Out:
Hannah M., you are a pixie of mischief, wonder, and good humor. Always up to try something new, spending time with you is always a novel experience. Most pixies care little for the garb that adorns their bodies, but your love of costumes and the theatrical make you an even better traveling partner and random acquaintance. The gusto you put into each new task, whether it's making mischief with those you love, making merry, or snuggling with a furry friend makes you a delight to be near. And although those wings are shiny and your mind quick, those around you should take care to think of you as well. Your deep bag of magic can be used for good as well as ill, cutting sarcasm, and all kinds of right good set downs.
This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books! The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month!
website: bubblesandbooks.com facebook group, home of the monthly "Bubbles Night": https://www.facebook.com/groups/bubblesandbooks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bubbles_books_box/ pintrest: https://pinterest.com/bubblesandbooks/ twitter: https://twitter.com/soakedromanceMentioned in this episode:
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This week we've got an especially tasty little morsel: The Red by Tiffany Reisz! It's an erotic fantasy novel about a fiery gallery owner who's in debt and on the brink of losing everything and the mysterious man who wants to help her save it... for a price. He's not interested in her soul, though, he's interested in her BODY. Yum!
Bonus Content: Ember's newest skill, Erin's trip to IL, wedding dress shopping, a discussion on using the term "whore" in the most empowering and delicious way, reclaiming the word cunt, and the segments *Bing Boong Bong* "safe sex work with Melody," "do your fucking job with Melody," "sex with mythical creatures with Erin," Melody's favorite alternate universe, and Erin's feelings on masquerade masks. Plus, MINOTAUR DONG. And does our podcast have a low-key new theme?
Strap in and maybe strap on. You're gonna need all your resources for this one.
Lady Loves:
Melody: Email or tween an author to tell them how much you love their work. Sometimes making other people feel great and know their worth is such a lovely pick-me-up.
Erin: To All the Boys I've Loved Before and Love Simon. Sunshine, rainbows, and feel good films! Get them in your brain!
Indy Podcast Promo:
The Secret Life of Weddings
Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Stitcher, etc. or at http://secretlifeofweddings.com Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/secretlifeofweddings/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/secretlifeofwed Facebook Page | https://www.facebook.com/thesecretlifeofweddings Tumblr | https://secretlifeofweddings.tumblr.com YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQJ6EVYHYsmIvs_bnHqKXSgMentioned in this episode:
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Hey HB's! Happy Monday to you! Were you missing our personal brand of hate in your life? NEVER FEAR! We're here to deliver in this monster episode covering Split by JB Salsbury. It's about a girl who comes back to her small AZ town in disgrace after assaulting a colleague and the man she meets with Dissociative Identity Disorder and a mysterious, violent past. Will there be disclaimers? Yes. Will there be laughing through rage? Yes. But what more can we do when one of the heroes LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL THE HEROINE?!
Bonus Content:
Erin's most embarrassing professional moment ever, *bing boong bongs* Do Your Fucking Job and Super Creepy People with Erin, the racism Erin saw while living in AZ, Melody pulls back the curtain on whether she's ever thought to herself, "your dad died? I want to see your penis immediately," Navajo Tacos: they're basically Gorditas, right? Wethinks not. And you get to learn all about Harmony and Butch.
Lady Loves: Erin: The Type, a spoken word poem by Sarah Kay. You can find it on youtube and go down the delicious rabbit hole that is Sarah Kay's brilliance.
Melody: ......
Patreon Shout Out:
Lauren C., you are a Griffin of great power and emotional understanding. Combining the body of the queen of all earthly creatures and the queen of all aerial creatures, you possess unparalleled courage of heart and vast intelligence. Bold and compassionate, those wings of yours will take you to heights surpassing even your wildest dreams.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Here we go with Part 2 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper! Will they figure out who's attacking locals? Will there be super sperm? Will we have more opportunities for *bing boong bong* Wildlife Safety with Erin? All that, plus realistic truck sex!
Bonus Content: Melody's volunteer tomato, how condoms only work if they're used 100% of the time, and much more!
Self-Love Recommendations: Erin: Smartypants vitamins. The serving size is SIX gummy vitamins!
Melody: Have what you crave around, otherwise, when you're craving dark chocolate you may end up eating a meal-replacement bar.
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This week we're bringing you part 1 of How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper, one of Erin's favorite books! We've got a Mississippi transplant in Alaska and a hero who's begrudgingly attracted to the outsider. She's fleeing her overbearing hippy parents, he's got a furry secret. There's intrigue, there's murder, there's baking, there's a whole kaleidoscope of fabulous side characters. There's deep, fiery passion. There's *bing boong bong* What Sex Position Is This? with Melody.
Bonus Content:
Pulling necks, #bringbackdueling SUCCESS, the jungle that is Alaskan Match.com, our proposed alternate title "Slap, Slap, Kiss", Life Saving Measures with Erin, Obstructing Justice with Erin, Melody's sickness REVEALED, and all the bear encounters Leigh-Ayn could ever wish for.
Patreon Shout Out:
Leslie B., you are a unicorn of care, companionship, and silliness. Throughout the ages, unicorns have gotten pigeon-holed as the creatures of sweetness and light. While you've gotten those characteristics in spades, you also prove the species has so much more to offer. Your sass, longing for new challenges, and commitment to the safety of your herd is unmatched. I mean, you basically have a bayonet on your head and you know how to use it. Plus, that flowing mane of waves is something that even us land mermaids need to tip our hats to.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey y'all! This week we have Teagan Hunter's Millenial delight, Let's Get Textual. It's got a wrong number meet-cute, two sarcastic, adorable characters, a baby goat, Harry Potter boxers, wholesome yet sexy strip teases, a whodunit, BAD Titanic jokes, questionable Dorito placement, and some low-key social justice issues.
Bonus conent: PIG ROOOAAASSTTTT, Melody's bottle baby goats and her knowledge of goats as snuggle partners, some Erin snark on bonding over universal experiences, our shared HATRED of ranch dressing, and so much more.
Also, introducing some new segments: *bing, boong, bong* How to (In)Correctly Identify Basic Character Traits with Erin, and Gold Star Parenting with Melody.
Patreon Shout-Outs:
Tiffany A., you are a phoenix. Your powers of rejuvenation make sure you're never down for long. Whether it's a momentary lapse, or a huge loss, you always have it in you to bounce back. Even at your most decrepit and downtrodden, you need look no further than your own inner beauty and ability to set you right.
Elizabeth S., you are a water sprite. Your dazzling personality and playful nature make you a delight to be around, and friendship with you is as flowing and deep as the waters you inhabit. When rough currents hit, you know how to strike a healthy balance of go-with-the-flow and swim-for-your-life. And everyone better take note: when you're pushed, your bite is just as strong as your bark.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey All! We are so appreciate that you've been so understanding about our hiccup in programming, but a plastic shard getting lodged in your cornea doesn't happen every day. Poor Erin!
Luckily, Nickie from The Things She Does offered to allow us to publish her interview with Melody so you didn't have a huge lapse in your feed!
We talk romance novels, the value they bring to the world, feminism, sex education and pleasure education, being a mom, "balance" or lack thereof, and so much more.
Enjoy!
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Hey HB's! We're back with Part 2 of Helen Hoang's debut novel, The Kiss Quotient! Stella and Michael are embarking on a classic EnglandTimes fake relationship and find that they're dynamic just might be perfect. That is, of course, if Michael's past, Stella's coworker, both of their understandable insecurities, misunderstandings, and a wealthy woman with nothing to lose don't screw it up forever!
Bonus Content: Face nipples, GOAT the spanish-speaking dog, more Gelato Teenager antics, Erin's views on sex in the workplace, The Handmaid's Tale, a doozy of a film called Killing Me Softly, and much more!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin - Follow @timburkephoto and @hanna.c.johansson and their burgeoning romance as the motorcycle through Norway together. So cute!
Melody - Have a sob in public if you need to. Give yourself that catharsis.
If you ever have problems getting the episodes through your preferred app, feel free to visit our RSS feed http://heavingbosoms.libsyn.com/ and listen to our episodes directly from there!
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Get ready for some squee HBs, we're here gushing over the first half of The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang! Scientist/mathematician + male escort/fashion designer?! Neuroatypical heroine?! Hapa hero?! We are very here for this. Plus all the heart-felt romance and red hot sexy times you can handle. And consent! So, so much consent on the page. Melody was in hog heaven.
We have limited experience with autism particularly and the neurodiverse community in general, so if you feel inspired to correct us on something we said, please don't hesitate to email [email protected]!
Bonus Content:
Pig roasts, gelato teenagers, how Melody eats candy, how Erin can't sing, the best Army pun EVER, pheromones, Mr. Spenglish, and so much more.
Patren Shout Out:
Jackie G., you are a fairy of fortitude and friendship. You will use anything at your disposal, all the tricks up your sleeve, to help the ones you love, and your mischievous imagination makes you a hoot to be around.
Thank you to all of our patrons! If you want to join the ranks head to https://www.patreon.com/heavingbosomspodcast
Thank you to everyone who's subscribed, rated, and reviewed! It helps us so much!
Follow us on social media!
Instagram: @heavingbosoms
Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast
Closed Facebook Group: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult
www.heavingbosomspodcast.com
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! We're back for The Virgin Romance Novelist by Meghan Quinn! It’s a friends-to-lovers romantic comedy with some slapstick antics that had us in stitches! Rosie is an aspiring romance novelist who hasn't gone "all they way" ... or anywhere, really. Henry is her best friend of 5 years who's just biding his time until she notices him. When Rosie decides to put herself out there and have sex to gain the experience she needs for the novel (at Henry's urging), hilarity ensues. Yes, like all rom-coms in the 90's and 2000's, it's also a little problematic. So. Full disclosure, Melody may have gotten on a soap box or two.
Bonus Content: Learn about Erin's illicit bread, the end of #cockygate, why the virgin trope in contemporaries rarely works for Melody, a discussion of all the Chris's and which is best, adventures in DivaCups, we find a line Mel won't cross (even for Erin), Erin sheds light on her thoughts on bowling hygiene and the scene in Anchorage, TEQUILA and why it doesn't work, we all get a lesson in eating tacos, a discussion on whether oral sex is "relaxing," and HOW TO BE MELODY'S FRIEND (surprise, surprise, it involves TMI).
Featured Segments: Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody (throughout), and a brand new segment, Melody Briefly Morphs Into Erin!
Patreon Shout-Out: Natalie M-M, you are a beatific wood nymph. You can inspire with your joyous energy alone and your abilities in the outdoors make you an excellent partner for anyone's adventures. Who doesn't love a lady with survival skills?
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin - SUNSCREEN. Don't think your makeup is all the sunscreen you need.
Melody - Hide veggies from yourself if you have to. They need to get into your body, so if you need to blend them in a shake, cook them in your eggs, or make a puree, DO IT. Veg are everything!
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey listener! Did you put on your big kid underwear? WELL, GET READY TO TAKE IT OFF. Ok, it's already getting weird. Gotta set the tone....
This week we read Mastered by Her Mates by Grace Goodwin and it was an amazing, wild ride. Aliens have landed and sworn their protection from THE HIVE but, in return, they need soldiers for the front lines and they want brides for their soldiers. Enter Amanda Bryant, a seasoned spy who becomes the first in Earth's Interstellar Bride Program and needs to confirm the threat from The Hive is real and send back any and all intel and technology back to her superiors, all while not getting distracted by her two new, hot mates. That's right: TWO MATES! Will she be able to keep her heart from two warriors who want to share their love and devotion with her? Is appeasing her government really the best course of action? Can we do all of this with magical, orgasm-inducing semen as a factor? Are you ready for the Anal Training Box? Can we get a little more double-penetration up in here? Can I please have my own poop robot?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT QUESTION TO PRIORITIZE.
Bonus Content:
Erin remembers and becomes obsessed with the 1988 classic "Earth Girls are Easy" with Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and Damon Wayans. It's a recurring theme. Erin recalls the time that eHarmony told her she had literally ZERO matches. No one at all in all the internet. We talk a lot about the merits of a good spy, what's appropriate for a medical examination after you've been reduced to pure energy, beamed across the universe, and then reassembled. We wonder how quiet a poop robot can really be, and generally squee over this book and all it's glory. We also have a hard time choosing a sign off, so you get them all! See our process in action!
Random Erin Rec: The Demonica Series by Larissa Ione. If you like an incubus, check it out!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Queer Eye Season 2 on Netflix. Watch it and cry with joy and goodness.
Melody: Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Watch it and remember how funny and capable and fabulous you are.
Housekeeping: Patreon fam, please send us your mailing addresses! We wants to send you goodies!
If you haven't yet, please head over to Apple Podcasts and rate and review us! If you give us a 5 star review we will cover whatever book you recommend!
Also follow us on all the things!
Instagram: @heavingbosoms
Twitter: @heaving_bosoms
Facebook: Heaving Bosoms Podcast (page) and The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult (group)
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.heavingbosomspodcast.com
Whew! Enjoy!
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey Commuters! Get ready for this super-sized episode! We read After the Wedding by Courtney Milan! He's a biracial, unrecognized nephew of an Earl. She's a Lady with a tragic past and a refusal to give up hope for lasting happiness. They're inexplicably set up and married at gunpoint by two members of the clergy! Can they find out how much they're worth while unraveling the mystery and proving the legitimacy of their annulment claim? Will they put everything to the test and choose each other forever? IT'S GODDAMNED GORGEOUS.
Bonus Content: How much does Erin love the sound of her own voice? Melody's strenuous preschool arts and crafts project. Adventures in childhood hair cuttery. Pride corner with Erin and Melody. Erin's new confusion over #15 from Team USA. Erin's longstanding obsession with the plural of octopus, and the revolution it saw in the English Language. And.. is this finally the thing she can bond with Courtney Milan over IRL? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.
PATREON SHOUT OUTS!
Liz S. - You are a benevolent Fury who uses her considerable power and prowess for only the best intentions and outcomes. And Erin says you're a Harpy in the best sense of the word :)
Jacqueline W. - You are a phenomenal Siren who has used her voice to bring so many unsuspecting sailors to Heaving Bosoms Island. The beauty of your voice is matched only by the beauty of your mind and spirit.
Kellie P. - You are a loving Pegasus who holds so much on her shoulders with such grace ans surety. Plus, you're so much fucking fun.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Melody - commit to yourself again if you need to. I haven't been doing nearly enough of the self care routine that keeps me content, so let's do it together. Get your facemask on, get back to the gym, drink your coffee in the sun, whatever you've been slacking on that's good for YOU, get to it.
Erin - "The sun is warm and the grass is green." When you're feeling overwhelmed, just repeat that to yourself to become grounded again. If it's good enough for both Mr. Miyagi and Courtney Milan, it's good enough for us.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey Esteemed Listener!!! We have a very special episode this week: an interview with author Sarah MacLean! Sarah is a best selling romance author, romance columnist, two time RITA Award winner, advocate, and hugely celebrated lady we have big crushes on.
In this episode Melody got to sit down with Sarah to discuss her new book Wicked and the Wallflower, book 1 of her new Bareknuckle Bastard series, which comes out on June 19, 2018 (TOMORROW!!!!). She talks all about her inspiration for the Bareknuckle Bastard series, the parts of Englandtimes she's uncovering by stepping out of the traditional ballroom setting, and the themes of Wicked and the Wallflower.
We talk her research and writing process and learn all about Ada Lovelace, who is a Regency Era woman who is widely known for being the world's first computer programmer and a mathematician, but is also LORD BYRON'S DAUGHTER. Whhhaaaaattttt?
And of course we chatted about feminism in romance, how that impacts historical accuracy (spoiler: not much), and Sarah's tribe within the writing community.
As an added bonus, while discussing her reading catnip, Sarah recommends novels we should read, as she is wont to do:
Priest by Sierra Simone
The Unrequited by Saffron Kent
Unlocked by Courtney Milan (Novella)
Never Sweeter by Charlotte Stein
The Player by Kresley Cole
Don't worry, y'all, her love of Tom Hardy comes up, too!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Sarah: Fresh Cosmetics in general, but they do an eye cream that makes her super happy.
Melody: Try to overcome imposter syndrome whenever you can. If you can, you could find yourself sitting across a table from SARAH MACLEAN. **Squeeeeee!**
Be sure to get Wicked and the Wallflower for a delicious Englandtimes read that steps outside of the normal ballroom setting and into the streets of London. It's a tale of outsiders, has a bad-ass lady lockpick heroine, a scarred, deep hero named DEVIL, and all the plotting you could wish for. Plus, all the tingles in your bathing suit parts.
Check out her website and social media! Her website has an INCREDIBLE list of over 180 romance novels she recommends.
Twitter: @sarahmaclean
Instagram: @sarahmaclean
Facebook: facebook.com/SarahMacLean
Follow us on all the things as well!
Twitter: @Heaving_Bosoms
Instagram: @heavingbosoms
Facebook: facebook.com/heavingbosomspodcast
Facebook GROUP: The Heaving Bosoms Podcast Geriatric Friendship Cult
Thank you for being AMAZING and creating such a fun community. We love you dearly.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hold onto your butts while we finish up The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston! There's talon sex, there are fights, there are dream demons, there's an avenging crow dog with a metal muzzle, there's A LITERAL TRIP TO VALHALLA, and all the juicy, sweet, straightforward romance a person could ask for. Have you ever thought to yourself "a doggy door could be the catalyst to my proclamation of love"? Neither had Vig or Kera, but it's the sweetest thing ever.
Bonus Content: COCKYGATE, the (s)heroics of Penny Reid, Army Combat Water Survival AKA Never Volunteer for Anything In Army, beehive coups, and much more!
Self Love Recommendations:
Erin: Get yourself some plants. Or some MORE plants! Erin hit the motherload at a garage sale the other day and filled her house with a bunch of 40 year old plants who have known nothing but love. Bliss.
Melody: Seek out something you loved in your childhood and re-experience it. She watched the Phantom of the Opera movie because it was randomly added to Netflix and she remembered an old love.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! We're back this week with Part 1 of The Unleashing by Shelly Laurenston. It's a paranormal romance complete with modern-day vikings and the gods who command them, a persnickety former marine back from death, and a big hunk of disheveled man who's been low-key wooing her for 18 months.... so low-key she doesn't notice. PLUS, there's something ancient that's waiting to be unleashed! WHAT IS IT.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
Hey HB's! Here's part two of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. In addition to the culmination of Abby and Max's tale, we've got another round of the "Big Stab vs. Big Slash" debate (in which Melody also comes out the WINNER), some earth-shattering Pride and Prejudice confessions, and more thoughts on EnglandTimes Wokeness (#englandtimeswoke). Come get companionably drunk with us, in a figurative sense, and shout from the rooftops our new favorite life motto: "spare me the thought processes of men!" Lady Bea, you're an international treasure and the definition of #goals.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin - hide your gummy vitamins from yourself lest you end up with sores due to vitamin A poisoning. Or, you know, maybe invest in some fucking food on a semi-regular basis.
Melody: Get thee outside! A morning exploring the park, weeding the yard, and eating breakfast outside is such an amazing start to the day!
Now, HB's, in the words of our dear Daisy, "go on and let the nice man compromise you. You know you want to."
Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty!
http://feminine-mistake-pod.blubrry.net/
Instagram: @FemMistakePod
Twitter: @FemMistakePod
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Hey HB's! We're here for Part 1 of The Autumn Bride by Anne Gracie. It's a beautiful tale full of sisterhood and lady love, in addition to all the fabulous romance. Abby Chantry and her adopted sisters are down on their luck when they happen upon a Lady in just as much need, then her nephew arrives unexpectedly and SPARKS FLY. Delicious.
Bonus Content: Over reacting to regular thing and owning it, the power of Chewy Bars and DoubleTree Cookies, the merits of locking up food, Erin's terrible memory, literally ALL the instruments Erin played in High School and the boys who inspired each, *bing boong bong* Combat Medicine with Erin, and SO MUCH MORE.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Are you in a hair color crisis? Maybe take her lead and spend some time with your roots. On your whole head.
Melody: Having tummy trouble? Lipton makes "Soothe Your Tummy" tea that was made for you!
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Hey HB's this week we read Take the Lead by Alexis Daria! It's a reluctant romance set on a celebrity dance show. Gina Morales is the pro dancer in charge of making hulking Alaskan bushman Stone Nielson into a light-footed showboat. She's pressured to give the people a "showmance" and he just wants to get back to chopping wood while shirtless, ok?! Will their love prevail?
Bonus Content: Goat was sick!, booty popping Zumba class, Jane the Virgin, that time Melody cut a goodbye short because she decided to double-fist chicken drumsticks, we think massage is a great prelude to sex, everyone we cast our minds, and so much more!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: Jane the Virgin and sugar lip scrubs
Melody: Take a hip-hop Zumba class and feel like Beyonce herself!
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Hey HB's! Sorry for the slight delay! This is Part 2 of Sally Thorne's The Hating Game! We're jumping back into Lucy's sickbed and you get to hear all about how much Melody hates the other guy who's into Lucy and all the reasons WHYYYY. Spoiler Alert: we hate "nice" guys. But, our former enemies are about to get even cozier, so we're happy little clams.
Bonus Content: more Slytherin and Hufflepuff magic, fever stories, a little game you can play in the ER called "find the blood," Melody's evolving life mottos, and so much more!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Melody: Invest in your body somehow this week. You only get the one and all our systems, body-mind-soul are connected. So love your body as much as you love yourself. AKA "MELODY SCHEDULE THE DENTIST ALREADY."
Erin: P!NK! Get on it. She's so empowering and talented and amazing. Google her Grammy and AMA performances from years past and feel ferocious through her.
Also featured: a podcast you might love, The Feminine Mistake Podcast! Three comedy writers sit down with a guest to look at the current state of women in the industry and how female characters are portrayed in film and television. This month they're chatting about I Feel Pretty!
http://feminine-mistake-pod.blubrry.net/
Instagram: @FemMistakePod
Twitter: @FemMistakePod
Mentioned in this episode:
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Hey HBs! And Flamethrowers! Five of you spoke and we listened, so here's Part 1 of The Hating Game by Sally Thorne! We wanted to do this in one episode, but the squee was TOO STRONG!
Join us for this quirky, fun, completely believable enemies-to-lovers story, which starts in the workplace (!!). It's got depth and such excellent writing that it made Melody come back 5 literal times.
Bonus Content: A rousing discussion of Hogwarts Houses, Mel’s obsession with paintball as well as her legendary Duck Hunt prowess, vomiting in cabs, HYDRATION, and an unlikely segment, Fashion with Erin.
Self Love Recommendations:
Erin: Join the Heaving Bosoms Geriatric Friendship Cult because there's a big ol' thread with tons of listener self-love recommendations!
Melody: If you feel like you need a boost, the tips of your hair is a great place to put essential oils so the scents float around your face all day. Just make sure to stay away from drying/astringent oils like Tee Tree and Eucalyptus.
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We're back to finish up A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux, and this time we're in Medieval Times! Legit Medieval Times! We get to see our generous Dougless throw aside all her hygiene standards to CHANGE HISTORY.
Has Melody ever mentioned that she thought this was a M/M book when she first cracked the cover? This was a disappointment on a lot of levels.
Bonus Content: we get to learn all about magical Mary Poppins bags, cradle boards, why Mel likes getting kisses on the elbow, our new segment "this is not an ad for Duane The Rock Johnson," shark (not Transformer) phobias, and, most of all, swampy balls! Get 'em while they're fragrant!
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Erin: Yes To has a coconut oil push pop face mask! WE'RE LIVING IN THE FUTURE!
- Melody: Go see a monster movie if you're into that. She's seen Pacific Rim 2 and Rampage recently and both made her cry. Super fun!
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Hey HB's! This week we're FINALLY GETTING TO TANYA'S BOOK! Or rather, Part 1 of A Knight In Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux. It's a classic romance novel published in the 80's and it does not disappoint... if you're looking for rant-fodder from us! It involves a perpetually gaslit schoolteacher, a horrendous current beau, a hero from the 16th century who isn't much better, all the fat-shaming of children you've ever wished for, and time-travel via genital contact.
Plus, Rooster the Dog had a lot to say about this book as well. She couldn't BELIEVE we didn't like it.
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin - Don't think the self-love can't just be bath bombs and a little me time. Not all of us can be that blonde woman in stock photos with her arms outstretched in the sunset. We all try our best to create "a life you don't have to escape from," but everyone needs to be a little selfless and do some dirty jobs for society to function. Trekking across the world or doing a job that "serves you" is all well and good, but it's not an achievement.
Also Erin - "Yes To" has a charcoal push-pop face mask that is SUBLIME.
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Hey HB's! Erin and Melody are embarking on the crazy journey that is Patreon very soon, so we thought we should give you a taste of what you can unlock by getting on the bandwagon. This episode, we learn all about dueling, answer the mystery of the HB Universe "what does it mean to make oneself ready?!" and Erin concocts some truly ruthless Fuck/Marry/Kill brackets.
Special thanks to Ann C, our resident dueling GURU!
Keep being your bad-ass selves!
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Hey HB's! It's time for Hate to Want You by Alisha Rai. Join Reverends Erin and Melody as they discuss family redemption, spanking, tattoos, and various kinds of musks! Prepare yourselves, because like this book, this episode gets a little *real* about depression and relationships, but we haven’t wept openly in like five episodes so . . . we were due ;)
Self Love Recommendations:
Erin - Sleep! It'll mess you up if you don't get any.
Melody - Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. Read it, let it seep into your bones.
You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting - over and over announcing your place in the family of things.
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We're bringing you a monster-sized episode for our first sexy monster! **heart-eyed emoji**. Join us for Firelight by Kristen Callihan, a romance mystery set in Sherlock Holmes Times which may or may not have made us spontaneously combust a couple of times. Callihan is a master of "show, don't tell" and we were riveted for every moment. Plus, let's review: Sexy. Monster.
Read this book, y'all! Special thanks to Shante for recommending it!
Bonus content: New dog Goat and other shenanigans. Also, if you can, donate to https://www.gofundme.com/giveherwings2018 a campaign by one of our former students to keep a safe house for victims of human trafficking and sex slavery open. Any amount, even the price of 1 book, will help!
Self-Love Recommendations:
Erin: For the People. Watch TV lawyers be terrible at their jobs and never get disbarred!
Melody: Don't fall asleep in the bath. She didn't die, but she definitely snort-splashed everywhere.
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Hey y'all! We're back to finish up Beard Science by Penny Reid. This thing has everything: bakery lingerie hustle, counter top make-outs, hot fantasies, adorable flirting, lady love, MORE blackmail, strife, redemption, and a heaping pile of bottom-of-the-heart LOVE!
Bonus content: what movie would play Erin in a movie? Who was Melody REALLY in Grease? Flamingos versus Dragons, Law and Order with Erin, TMI with Melody, and all the rest of the nonsense you've come to expect from us.
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Wear a face mask while watching Jessica Jones, y'all. It's good for your skin and your soul.
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Hey HB's! We're back in Shark infested waters with Beard Science by Penny Reid. Cletus Winston in is the 3rd brother of 7 siblings in Green Valley, TN and he's the wiliest of the bunch. Meanwhile, Jennifer Sylvester is the Banana Cake Queen of Green Valley and Instagram infamy. Her Momma has BIG plans for her. What started as a natural talent for baking has become a full-fledged exploitation situation. Can Cletus help her change her life and find out who she really is? A blackmail scheme just might entice him to help... and maybe just fall into the deep hue of impossible her purple eyes.
This is a listener recommendation from Sallie of The Woolslayers youtube podcast! She and her friend Allen get together and talk about all the GORGEOUS projects they're doing. These ladies are super talented.
Youtube Page: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQM7hy84kFYZ5VHnI8VZ97Q
Instagram: @woolslayerspodcast
Bonus content: Melody has new holes in her face! Erin saw a big ol' baby on a flight. Fun with misheard lyrics. Rooster the Dog is having a hard time. Lotion?! Who needs lotion?! Could Erin and Melody run a cult together? What plays in Erin's head every time she badmouths Fiona? All that and WAY MORE.
Self Love Recommendations:
Erin: Check out the spotify playlist "Reading Jane Austen at Downton Abbey" for a EXCELLENT music to read by.
Melody: Have you wanted to do something and always held back? DO IT! Melody's piercings make her super happy.
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Hey HB's! Let's finish up Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean! When last we met, we left our fabulous heroine and her rake in a carriage on the way back to her house, breasts bouncing in the moonlight. She's determined to finish her list and LIVE, and he just might want to help her do just that for the rest of his eternity. There's fencing, there's dancing, there's dueling, and there's LOVE.
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It's Part One of Erin and Melody's recap of Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Lady Calpernia Hartwell is done with being a well-behaved wallflower, so she seeks out the most handsome, devilish rake in London to help her start misbehaving AND WE COULDN'T STOP SWOONING. Thank you, Erin C, for the recommendation!
Bonus Content: The Gals decide which characters they are in Grace and Frankie and The Golden Girls, Erin talks about her herbal school classmates, Melody details her dream of starting an elderly lady commune with all her girlfriends, Erin gets a sneak peak of Melody's speech for Erin's wedding (if she's tapped!), the BBC's Fleabag and Hulu's Harlots get some dandy love, and you get the ladies thoughts on whether or not The Odyssey is a romantic story. Spoiler alert: NOPE!
Self Love Recommendations:
- Watch Grace and Frankie on Hulu!
- Be a Kendall, not a Krystal. Yes, we watch the Bachelor, yes, we recorded this right after Kendall and Krystal's 2-on-1 date with the human saltine cracker that is Arie. Her compassion, wisdom, and empathy in the face of her hurt feelings WAS INSPIRING. What show were we watching again??
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In this episode, we finish up The Duchess Deal by Tessa Dare. There's theater, rain, a jailbreak, redemption, and SEX. YES PLEASE.
Bonus Content: Does Melody know what animals are? Or sounds? What's in her head?
Self love recommendations:
Erin: "You have to give up being perfect to be good, and give up being good to be free." Let that wash over you.
Melody: When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
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Hey HB's! This marks the first in our multi-part episode coverage of novels with Tessa Dare's The Duchess Deal! We've got a strong, surviving seamstress, a Duke marred by burn wounds, and a marriage of convenience turned redemptive love. This is Melody's favorite heroine and Erin's favorite hero from the brain of Tessa Dare. There's also a colorful cast of side characters including a street cat named Breeches.
Bonus content: the Alaskan phenomenon that is the drive up bikini coffee bar, burping on cue in the name of motherhood, Erin's thoroughly-researched grasp on historical time periods, and our vast knowledge of fireplaces.
And seriously, what does "make ready" mean in England times???
Alright, darlings, WERECUNTS UNITE!
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Hooo dangy, the movie is coming out, so we thought you might need a refresher on the final book in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Fifty Shades Freed! If you read the title and thought, "oh goody, they break up?" you're in good company. Erin's fiance thought the same thing. Alas, no! Go with us on a 580 page journey where things finally happen in the last 20% of the book. Get ready for some verbing of nouns that don't verb (Mel thinks she's soooo charming), frank discussions about the mile high club, and nature making her presence KNOWN in Alaska.
Please note, we speak quite a bit about controlling tendencies, emotional abuse, etc.
Self Love Recommendations:
Erin - if you want to relive middle school, Tamagotchi came out with a 25th anniversary pet! Also, dogs.
Melody - CLEANSE! She's currently on week two of a food based cleanse and she's feeling spry and her crazy sugar cravings are gone. If you feel like you need to reset after the holiday madness, a cleanse is a great way to do that.
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This week we read a delicious late nineties treat, See Jane Score by Rachel Gibson. It's got an ambitious journalist, a bad boy hockey goalie, Doc Martens, crushed velvet dresses, scandalous writing under a nom de plume (!), and.... tattoo licking. Into. It. If you like alpha male romances and verbal sex scenes, this is the book for you.
Bonus content: Melody trying to hockey (or sportzball at all), the wild world of dolphins, and a look into our friendship you may not have been expecting.
BIG THANKS to Alison Wilkinson for sharing the review she wrote of our show for parent.com. We felt so honored and 'seen.'
https://www.parent.com/listening-heaving-bosoms-podcast/
Self-Love Recommendation:
Melody: embrace your weird. Melody loves the macabre in general, specifically murder and cults, and she literally danced in a parking lot when she saw that Last Podcast on the Left's 300th episode arc was a deep dive into The People's Temple and Jonestown. Check it out if that's also on your venn diagram of love!
Erin: Yeah! Embrace what you love, even if it's terrible. A friend of hers saw Alison's review and divulged that she read all of the Shade of Vampire series. Own your excellence :)
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This week we discuss listener recommendation, Love Hacked by Penny Reid! Get ready for Star Wars, bitcoins, dry humping, butter chicken, and a new segment, None of Erin’s Opinions Represent the Opinions of Any Agency Featured Prominently in This Book, Nor Are They Drawn From Any Professional Experiences. Also, bonus segment, Drunk Stories with Erin and Melody. Thanks again, Rashmi!
Self Love Recommendations:
Melody: Do as I say, not as I do and stay hydrated! Your body and mind will thank you.
Erin: Read Beauty and the Mustache by Penny Reid. SHE'S OBSESSED.
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We're finally back to cover another listener recommendation: Dear Bridget, I Want You by Penelope Ward and Vi Keeland! This one features a sexy British doctor, a widowed nurse, and a lot of cheeky sexual “in-yer-end-os.” This episode features some extra special personal news, plenty of Logistics with Erin, the TRUTH about otters (*sobbing emoji*), and a brand new segment we’re calling, Is This Sex Position Physically Possible?
Self Love Recommendations:
Erin: Get thyself a bathbomb!
Melody: Seek out a meditation app to take at least 10 minutes for yourself each day.
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READER RECOMMENDATION, Y'ALL! Thank you Stephanie for taking the bribe and bringing Maddie and Logan into our lives!
In this episode we swoon over When a Scot Ties the Knot by Tessa Dare. It starts in England Times, but quickly travels to Highlander Times. I know, Erin had a hard time keeping up. Just get yourselves ready for a talented, career driven English gentlewoman, a loyal Scottish highlander with depths you can barely measure, a blackmail marriage scheme.... and lobsters.
Bonus content: Melody's Bagel War, Erin's muppet text messages, Melody's stance on orphans and sexytimes, and how lobsters actually make all the love.
Self Love Recommendations:
- Google the National Geographic's article on lobster fornication that Erin's boyfriend found. So interesting! Educate yourself!
- Practice Gratitude and have a goddamned Dance Party. Melody is taking stock of all the wonderful things in her life in the face of some pretty terrible. And dance parties with her toddler help a hell of a lot. Also, if you can't hear it, Erin is the most immediate and adorable empathetic crier.
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We've got a New Years selection for you to properly ring in 2018: Icecapade by Josh Lanyon! Are you in the mood for forbidden love between a jewel thief and the FBI Agent who has tailed him for a decade? Are you ready for that love story to involve llamas? WE ARE! This was a quick little novella, but it was jam-packed with stuff to talk about!
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Don't be afraid of a grown up friend sleepover. Erin spent a wonderful weekend with some lady friends in a cabin with board games and it was an experience that fortified the soul.
- Take some time to do for others. Melody went to an annual party her friend throws where, instead of birthday presents, he requests unwrapped toys to give to the salvation army. She gets a little misty talking about it and reminiscing about other volunteer experiences that have helped her in the process of helping others.
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Come on down for our final Christmas book: Christmastime Cowboy by Maisey Yates! If you like tattooed cowboys, grudges, wine, cheese, hair snarling, redemption, and reconnection, you'll love this book. Plus, you get tons of TMI with Melody and Logistics with Erin. And which Bible book has all the "begots"? The answer is we don't know.
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Get thee the new Kesha album STAT! It's made Melody publicly sob and it's the start of her liberated artistic journey.
- Tazo has come out with a dessert line of teas and the lemon cake one will change your world.
- Buy your cowboy/firefighter holiday sex books publicly and with your head held high. HB's unite against romance novel judgement!
Special note: Thank you for understanding this episode's tardiness. Melody was super sick and still working full time this week. Going to bed at 7:30 every night was not a sound editing strategy.
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This week we tackle Christmas on Crimson Mountain by Michelle Major. We were craving a sweet Hallmark-movie-style romance featuring a small town, ice skating, hot chocolate, a winter cabin, a kitten named Jingle, and a heaping dose of Christmas cheer. What we got was that PLUS a beastly widower, a breast cancer survivor, lots of unsolicited grabbery, some light child neglect, and not one but TWO orphans! Buckle up, buttercups.
Self love recommendations:
- Shower? This should be a regular life thing, but Melody's in a place. It can wash away whatever's lingering, whether emotional or physical, and smelling nice is always the best way to tackle the day. We gotta start somewhere.
- If you're injured, take some time for yourself. Don't go cross country skiing and ice skating trying to prove you're an "American Badass." You're not. Also, Melody proves once again that she's not a ice skate-ologist. Take your fancy terms and go to the Chiropractor, Erin!
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Hey All! This week we read the final book in Tiffany Reisz's Men at Work series, One Hot December! This one has a bad-ass welder heating things up with a man that’s part construction worker, part CEO (a creature we’ve never seen in the wild, but we are definitely into). We finally got a tiny bit of kink, and we play Fuck-Marry-Kill with the book's leading men and supporting ladies. Get. Stoked. This book also kicks off our holiday series of Christmas books!
Self Love Recommendations:
- Let your *parts* breathe, even in the winter. Melody is so committed to this, she's going to create some crotchless leggings for night time. TMI? Sorry not sorry.
- If something has bothered you for a while, fix it, even if no one else cares. Erin decided to get a FACE TATTOO to do just that. She was already the absolute tits, and now there's no denying her bad-assery.
*one more note: Melody opens up a tiny bit about her mental health in the winter. Seasonal Affective Disorder is tough, folks. Take care of yourselves, and if you take Vitamin D, don't forget to eat a fat with it! Mind. Blown.
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This week we read The Duke and I by Julia Quinn. Are you a sucker for a rakish Duke, a lady who can throw a punch, and a fake dating scheme? We are TOO! Plus, this is a recommendation from the very first listener email we ever got. We're so thankful for everyone who takes time out of their lives to listen to our little pod, and we love to hear from you. Thank you for loving this crazy genre as much as we do! Now let's get our happily-ever-after on! (Spoiler alert: they end up smooching and loving it).
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Ginger-infused tea; it'll cure what ails you!
- Listen to episode 7 of Queery with Cameron Esposito; it's an interview with Stephanie Beatriz about bisexuality, bi-erasure, acting, and "being shitty with yourself" in order to succeed. So good!
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We love Thanksgiving and we LOVED this sexy Thanksgiving read! It had all the wit, heart, redemption, and STEAM we expect from a good romance novel. Plus, being back in Oregon with a teenager who is straight up goals wasn't too shabby either. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, HBs!
Self-Love Recommendations:
- Grab a pal and do something creative and fun. Melody is is on the happy tears train after finally starting this podcast. Also, follow @oliviawilde on instagram; you won't regret it.
- While on Insta, head over to @bodyposipanda and follow Megan Jayne Crabbe as well! If you like that, you may want to pick up her book Body Positive Power: How to stop dieting, make peace with your body and live. She's a body positive unicorn guru and she makes the world better.
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Erin and Mel read Bad Boys Undercover: Under the Wire by HelenKay Dimon, but mostly talk about how many gunshot wounds is too many for sex. Also, please welcome our new spin-off show, Logistics with Erin.
Note: this episode was originally recorded in late October, so Ember is BACK! Don't worry for Melody, she made it.
Self Love Recommendations:
- Create or join a book club with people you adore. It's good for the soul (this podcast proves it!).
- Head over to ohmygodyes.com to see what's happening in the science of women's pleasure. There's a one time payment that gets you access to all videos and publications they have to offer. Revenue goes back into funding more research, too!
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
This week Erin and Melody read their first historical with The Duchess War by Courtney Milan! This was a beautifully written and surprisingly sexy wallflower-meets-duke story that we both loved, even if the duke was less rakish than Erin had hoped. Enjoy!
Self Love Recommendations:
- Take a staycation if you can! Putting your worries on a shelf and being a tourist in your backyard can be very restorative.
- Take a mental health break if you need it, drawing inspiration from figure skater Gracie Gold.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
This week we read A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest! Or, as we’re calling it, 50 Shades of Twilight: A Tale of Teenage Stockholm Syndrome. Full disclosure, we didn’t necessarily *like* this book, but we cannot wait to give you a hilarious after-school special about why we didn’t. We present a *very special episode* about what the kids are reading these days.
Self Love Recommendations:
- Watch Big Little Lies on HBO or something else where talented people are slaying the game.
- Listen to the last 15 minutes of The Ringer's Binge Mode. In the final episode there's a beautiful oration about not being ashamed for your interests and escapism. Plus, best friends gush about each other, which you know we LOVE!
Episode Notes:
If you like excellent vampire tales, be sure to check out American Vampire wherever you get your comics! Scott Snyder is the main writer and they've had arcs with Stephen King and more.
And quick *CORRECTION* from this episode, "women in refrigerators" or "getting refrigerated" began in the 90's with Green LANTERN, not Green Arrow. Either way, I think we can all agree that ladies should be fully formed characters instead of merely plot devices, right? Thank goodness even mainstream comics have seen the light since then!
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Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen is a charming story about witchy sisters falling in love. This is for anyone who loved Practical Magic or Como Agua Para Chocolate, and is in the mood for a sweet, whimsical story about love in all its forms. Sorry, guys, no snark this time, just a lot of mushy goodness, and maybe some laughing through tears.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
In this special pumpkin spice edition, Erin and Mel discuss Her Halloween Treat by Tiffany Reisz. This book has everything - mountain cabins, crisp leaves, flannel shirts, and a bearded handyman who wants you to tell him exactly how he should touch you. Mmmhmm yes, please.
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Give HB a 5 Star rating and review wherever you listen! It helps us grow and makes us feel like 1 million dollars. And we're still doing the bribe! If you leave a 5 Star review, we'll guarantee to review whatever book or movie you recommend!
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.