How to Be a Girl

How can the best of times also be the worst of times? This spring nearly washed me away... but not quite. 

M. tries her hand at TV journalism.

Music credit: David Mumford, “Singing in the Rain (Instrumental)" (licensed under CC BY 4.0)

 

I thought I was pretty brave until I met my counterpart from a red state.

Music credits: "Telling Me So" and "Spring" (instrumental) by St. Paul de Vence  

This tiny episode is mostly silly, and a little bit serious.  I also have some news.  Plus, cat videos. 

(KUOW is hosting a How to Be a Girl listening party in Seattle on February 26! Reserve a seat at http://kuow.org/post/join-us-how-be-girl-listening-party)

MUSIC CREDITS:

"Quirky Dog" by Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com)

"Mama" (instrumental) by St. Paul de Vence (Thank you, Benjamin Doerr!!) 

In 2013, Obama opened a window for transgender people when he made it easier to change the gender on your Social Security record. But with Trump coming into office, it looks like that window is about to close.  I hadn't been in much of a rush to change my 9-year-old transgender daughter's Social Security record, but I sure am now. 

It’s still five years off, but I think about it all the time.  What’s it going to be like when my transgender daughter becomes a teenager?

Music credits:

Andy G Cohen, "Land_Legs" (licensed under CC BY 4.0)

David Mumford, "Twinkle Twinkle Instrumental" (licensed under CC BY 4.0)

Loch Lomond, "Elephants and Little Girls" (licensed under CC BY 4.0)

Kevin Macleod, “J.S. Bach, Prelude in C” (licensed under CC BY 3.0)

She hasn't got a womb or ovaries but she wants to be a mommy.  How do I tell my young daughter that she won't ever be a biological mother? 

Music credits: 

"Child Come Home" by Michael Howard (Licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)

"Flagger" by Blue Dot Sessions (Licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0)

“That Old Harpoon” by Gillicuddy (Licensed under CC BY-NC 4.0)

My 8-year-old transgender daughter is not giving up.  She's eating popcorn and singing and telling jokes and she has some advice for you. 

When I first realized I had a transgender child, Lauren reached out and told me it was going to be OK. Ever since, she's been the one I lean on when I'm terrified. She's the bravest woman I know. 

Music credits: 

“George Street Shuffle” and “In Your Arms” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) 

“Evenhanded” by Podington Bear

“From here to Iceland" by Loch Lomond

“I Enjoy Being a Girl,” performed by Christine Jorgensen

"Mars Landscape: Moon Set” by Julie Maxwell (Source:  Free Music Archive, CC License)

Thank you to my new supporters on Patreon.com: Brady Houck, Shaleece Haas, Rona So, Jennifer Zuber, Emily Hoff, Andrew Weisner, and Damiana Day. 

My daughter has lots of friends, and she's big on play dates with other little girls.  But sometimes we need to book a special play date, because sometimes you just need to hang out with somebody who's just like you.  

Music Credits: "The Temperature of the Air on the Bow of the Kaleetan” by Chris Zabriskie, “Hélice” by Monplaisir, and “Rainbow Street” by Scott Holmes.

Thank you to my new supporters on Patreon.com:  Ann Frossard, Lorna McCarthy, Maricia Scott, Lyle Mattson, Ryann Grove, Jessica Gaab, and Risa Cyr.

When my husband and I split up four years ago, we agreed to share custody of our...."son." Four years later, we have a transgender daughter, and the crazy truth is that I've never really asked him how he feels about this.  So I did.  And this is what he said.  (I asked him a few other questions, too.)  

Music credits: “The Father’s Name” by  Gianluca Sgalambro

Thank you to my new supporters on Patreon.com:  Chris Wright, David Roswell, Laura Kivlen, Britt Tanner, Robyn Kanner, Nicole Villacres, Henry Richardson, Natasha Mooney, Spokane Trans* Map, Krystal Barrett-Jones, Remi Taylor, Michaela Friedman, Avery Shroeder, Ashley Page, Bergie and Brandon, Lindsey Wallace, Lily Krueger, Jonty Levine, Sam Calandra, Andreas Moesch, Genie Gratto, Michael Nessa

This isn't a full episode.  Just a little update on what we've been up to, with some very silly audio of my daughter. (What can I say? It's been a silly summer!)  There's also an important announcement about the future of this podcast and some news on my daughter's love life (and mine too!). 

Music credits: "Fudge" by Gillicuddy

I never thought a bathroom bill - the kind they passed in North Carolina - would come to my home state.  But it did.  They're trying to pass one where I live, and this is the story of my fight (so far) against it. 

(You can see more photos related to this story on my blog, gendermom.com.)

Music credits: "Heartache" by Broke For Free, "Golden" by Little Glass Men, "A void" by johnny_ripper, "Pure Attitude" by Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com), "The Tallest Man in Idaho" by Michael Howard, "Blessed Instant" by Oilvia chaney.

Thank you to my new supporters on Patreon.com:  Cindy McGahee, Amanda Minor, Rene Justin Dado, Nanette Fok, Kristen Albright, Molly Tanner, Rae-Louise Enno, Lazbreath, Gina Trapani, Katelen Michelle Kellogg, Caitlin Pierce, William Shafer, Allison Lefrak

This is a continuation of Episode IX. It tells the rest of the story of what happened when my transgender daughter started second grade at a new school.

Music credits: "Light Thought Variation 2," "Thatched Villagers," and "Relaxing Piano Music" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Moonlight Sonata (Ludwig van Beethoven)" by Dr. Phibes and The Ten Plagues of Egypt,  "Bagatelle (Ludwig van Beethoven)" by Circus Marcus.  

THANK YOU to my generous supporters on Patreon.com: 

Nyssa, Nicholas Harrigan, Sebastian Riisgaard, Krystal, Andrea Sackett, Andy Moore, David, Dustin Andres, Myrna Bohan, Emily Savin, David Rosenthal, Jo-Hanna Read, Meghan O'Hara, Allison Mulcahy, Maraia Ener, Gil Rich, Hampus Jakobsson, Tammy, Sonali Bhagat, Debby Swayne, Clare Jones, Gene Gibson, Nathan Jones, and Brookie Judge.

This episode has been six months in the making, because that's how long it took for this story to play out. It's the story of my daughter entering second grade at a new school where we knew no one, almost no one knew her secret, and I had no idea how I was going to keep her safe.

Music credits: "Blackbird" and "Light Thought Variation 2" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Chiaroscuro" by Zé Trigueiros, and "Piano Symphony No. 1" by Miss M.

Thank you to my generous supporters on Patreon.com! 

Three cheers for Nicholas Harrigan, Sebastian Riisgaard, Krystal, Andrea Sackett, Andy Moore, David, Dustin Andres, and Mary Anne Sedney! 
 

Earlier this year, my daughter got to meet the transgender TV star Laverne Cox. I wrote about it for my blog, and that heart-warming, feel-good post went crazy viral on the internet.  But there's more to the story.  Here it is.

My daughter gave her first interview (to Amy Poehler's Smart Girls website): Check it out!

Music credits: "Hearts Mend (Prelude)" by Rebecca Foon, "EDM Detection Mode" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "nu pop2" by Plusplus.

When my "son" first started saying that "he" was actually a "she," I went looking for information. I wanted hard numbers.  I wanted data.  I wanted science to tell me to do. This is what I discovered. 

If you'd like to watch a condensed, 5-minute animated version of this episode, check this out:

Music credits: "Arboles" by Podington Bear; "Outside the Terminal" by Blue Dot Sessions; "March of the Mind," "Oppressive Gloom," and "Unseen Horrors" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com); animation scored by
Jonathan Hirsch (www.arrvls.com).

This episode is a little different from the others I've made. It's mostly just my daughter talking, answering my questions about what it's like being a transgender six year old.  

She's six years old and transgender.  I'm a single mom.  This is what happens when we both hit the dating scene and compare notes about it.

Music credits: "Night Owl" by Broke for Free, "Is This What Mama Meant" by Michaela Anne.

How girlie do you have to be to secure your spot in the girl club?  And what happens when your own mother questions your girl credentials? 

Bonus: The Origins of Acrobat Girl:

Music credits:  "Action" and "Eastern" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Xena: Warrior Princess - Main Title" by Joseph LoDuca.

Am I insane?  How can I be so sure that my young child is transgender?

Music credits: "Her Love Comes in Air" by soundZcapa, "Gato" by Rod Hamilton, "Kaikou" by Satori.

What's it like raising a transgender child?  How did your family respond?  What about school?  How in the world does this work?  This episode gives you the low-down on what daily life is really like for us. 

Music credits: "Le Petit Jardin"  by Lee Maddeford, "Under the Color Cave" by Noveller, "Lost Frontier" by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), "Big Gay Water Fight"  by Plushgoolash.

When he was three years old, my son informed me that she was actually my daughter.  I'm now the mother of a happy, confident little transgender girl, but it took a while to get here.

Watch an animated version of Episode I:

Music credits: "Ichill" by Kakurenbo, "Rosary Novena for Gender Transitioning" by Terre Thaemlitz, "The Flight of Lulu" by Possimiste.