The Science of Emotions & Relationships

In this episode, I discuss the biology of emotions and moods in the context of relationships. I focus on the science of how early infant-caregiver attachment, combined with adolescence and puberty shape our adult patterns of attachment. I explain the three universal aspects of emotions, the reality of right-brain versus left-brain personalities, and how the roots of adult attachment are also grounded in specific aspects of puberty. I review what factors determine when puberty starts and ends, and the role of oxytocin and other chemicals in controlling how we perceive and remember others. As always, I refer to various practical tools including new tools for understanding and predicting our emotions before they occur, and neurochemicals that shape human connection.

Read the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

00:00:00 Introduction  

00:00:32 Sponsors: AG1, LMNT & Waking Up  

00:05:10 Announcing New Cost-Free Resources: Captions, NSDR Link  

00:07:40 Emotions: Subjective Yet Tractable  

00:10:53 To Understand Your Emotions: Look At Infancy & Puberty  

00:15:21 Your First Feeling Was Anxiety  

00:17:36 What Are “Healthy Emotions”?  

00:19:03 Digital Tool For Predicting Your Emotions: Mood Meter App  

00:21:08 The Architecture Of A Feeling: (At Least) 3 Key Questions To Ask Yourself  

00:24:00 You Are An Infant: Bonds & Predictions  

00:27:57 Attachment Style Hinges On How You Handle Disappointment  

00:32:40 “Glue Points” Of Emotional Bonds: Gaze, Voice, Affect, Touch, (& Written)  

00:36:34 “Emotional Health”: Awareness of the Interoceptive-Exteroceptive Dynamic  

00:37:50 An Exercise: Controlling Interoceptive-Exteroceptive Bias  

00:42:19 Getting Out Of Your Head: The Attentional Aperture  

00:46:59 Puberty: Biology & Emotions On Deliberate Overdrive  

00:47:58 Bodyfat & Puberty: The Leptin Connection  

00:50:34 Pheromones: Mates, Timing Puberty, Spontaneous Miscarriage  

00:54:37 Kisspeptin: Robust Trigger Of Puberty & Performance Enhancing Agent  

00:58:26 Neuroplasticity Of Emotions: Becoming Specialists & Testing Emotional Bonds  

01:00:25 Testing Driving Brain Circuits For Emotion: Dispersal  

01:07:48 Science-Based Recommendations for Adolescents and Teens: The Autonomy Buffet  

01:11:05 “Right-Brain Versus Left-Brain People”: Facts Versus Lies  

01:14:18 Left Brain = Language, Right Brain = Spatial Awareness  

01:16:15 How To Recognize “Right Brain Activity” In Speech: Prosody  

01:18:32 Oxytocin: The Molecule of Synchronizing States  

01:20:09 Mirror Neurons: Are Not For “Empathy”, Maybe For Predicting Behavior  

01:23:00 Promoting Trust & Monogamy  

01:27:00 Ways To Increase Oxytocin  

01:28:34 Vasopressin: Aphrodisiac, Non-Monogamy and Anti-Bed-Wetting Qualities  

01:30:43 Bonding Bodies, Not Just Minds: Vagus Nerve, Depression Relief Via the Body  

01:35:18 A Powerful Tool For Enhancing Range & Depth of Emotional Experience  

01:36:43 MDMA and Other Psychedelic Compounds: Building A Framework  

01:38:54 Roundup, Various Forms of Support  

Disclaimer & Disclosures