IE129 Dr. Shefali Tsabary: on Conscious Parenting: Creating Confident Children w Awakened Family Dynamics

Our guests for this week is Dr. Shefali Tsabary, clinical psychologist and a widely acclaimed author of The Conscious Parent

About Dr. Shefali Tsabary 

Author, wisdom teacher, clinical psychologist and international speaker, Dr. Shefali Tsabary is an integrator of the east and west. She’s a leader in the field of mindfulness psychology combining clinical psychology and eastern mindfulness. Dr. Shefali is also a remarkable international speaker sharing her message on conscious parenting and mindful living. Her NY Times best-sellers list include “Out of Control” and “The Awakened Family”.

The Art of Conscious Parenting: How Healing Your “Inner Child” Is The Path To Raising Resilient, Confident & Fulfilled Children accessible with a Mindvalley All Access Pass

Australian tour dates 2020:

Sydney 22 July

Melbourne 24 July

Connect with Dr. Shefali Tsabary 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrShefaliTsabary/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorshefali/
• Website: https://drshefali.com/

Conscious parenting and what it’s all about

Conscious parenting is doing your own work. We would need to heal ourselves constantly with children teaching and showing us more stuff about ourselves that we aren’t even aware of. It’s always helpful to invest in unearthing childhood to be able to understand the personal triggers in parenting.

“... [awareness] is key in every part of our lives… and the most in parenting because children trigger you in your inner child, and your inner child is stuff left over from your childhood which was very primitive and unsophisticated …” 

Level of conditioning and clinical psychology

Children are like sponges and there’s such beauty and innocence to childhood. However, because a child can be so infiltrated to take in whatever unconscious culture their direct environment puts them in, these unconscious institutional attachments are often worn as masks in order to survive. These same prescription checklists can obscure who the child might have been without them. 

“... And that’s why many of us fall apart in our 40’s, when our children then grow up ... and we go “who am I?”. That's a hitting block, because there is a pause where it's then called the middle life crisis for good reason, because it’s a crisis of identity.” 

Holding space for a child from parental projections

Projections are always going to happen at some point, but doing internal work will help parents catch themselves more. One would begin to question themselves with all the doctrines and mandates that a person is unconsciously subscribed to. The more work you do the more you unlayer yourself. To awaken is to understand that we’ve been putting pressures to ourselves to live this false self that doesn’t work for us anymore. You should let go all the false self. So you are awakened to a greater degree. 

“When you begin to awaken and begin to emancipate yourself, you very much don’t want to enslave anyone else…”

Conversations on fear and loving unconditionally

We come closest to loving unconditionally with our children. Loving unconditionally is very difficult. To love unconditionally is to love without owning. Unconditional love is freedom. However, nowadays experimentations at home have been opening up. With partners mirroring is just one level, but it is something totally unprecedented with children. Children live in a different time zone. They live in the present moments, while adults live in the past and future. Children don’t know that and that’s why adults get upset with them. 

“...The real love of a child or another human being is to love the essence which is to really love them with no real agenda of your own…” 

Pursuit to happiness and the hustle

The pursuit to happiness is an illusion because to pursue it as an energy is running after that desire. Which means you are feeling the lack. If you feel in lack and do something out of lack, we realise we have this restless hustling energy. But at some point it’s important to be more of an attractor and do work and shine with it. This is something you have to evolve to, and people need to go through the whole hustling process to be able to achieve such grounding.

“... there’s no need for conflict if you accept that it’s bound to be different, when you expect it to be different you’re not disappointed.” 

Perception on Inspire Evolution

Inspired evolution is not robotic evolution that happens on its own. It is taking evolution consciously and really taking it into your own hands. To carve your own destiny as much as you can and put your intention behind is the real essence of being inspired in evolution.

“Keep it simple, you’d always be pleased…”

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