3 Grief Over the Loss of the Eucharist

Coronavirus Crisis:  Carpe Diem

Grief over the Loss of the Eucharist 

Episode 3

March 27, 2020

Mary Magdalene saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet. They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” John 20.  

Who resonates with Mary Magdalene’s lament? They have taken away my Lord

The reactions of faithful Catholics to our churches being shuttered are not getting much press.  But grief comes up a lot, a lot in conversations, with tears: Committed Catholics are grieving the loss of access to Our Lord in the Eucharist.  And there are many other emotions as well.  

So we know the reasons that are offered for the closing of the parishes.  

On March 16, the White House guidance to avoid gatherings larger than 10 people.  

In response, almost all dioceses closed the churches and cancelled public masses and gatherings of all kinds. Even confessions are to be postponed unless there is risk of death.  

No reasonable person wants to arbitrarily increase the death count from the virus.  

What has gotten much less attention is the real pain and loss of those of us dedicated and devoted to the Eucharist.  The impact of that loss.  

And this is a place where we can acknowledge that pain and the weirdness of it all.  It is weird to watch Mass on TV or a computer monitor on Sunday morning.  

Mary Magdalene yearning for Jesus outside the tomb would not have been satisfied by watching a video of Jesus on the angel’s iPhone.  

Remember, this podcast is all about embracing the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this virus crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.

We are always embracing the situations we find ourselves in and the people we find ourselves with, in deep confidence that all things work together for the good for those who love the Lord.   All things.  All things.  Including our losses of access to the Eucharist.   

So ask the question:  How in God’s Providence can this situation be good for my spiritual life right now?

It’s really important to ask the question.  Many people won’t seek the answer, and won’t find it.  

Some Catholics will cover their grief with anger, and rail against the present circumstances, suffering like rebels. 

Others will endure their grief without imbuing it with spiritual meaning, suffering like Stoics.  

We have another option.  

Action item for this episode.  Ask the question:  How is this loss of the Eucharist best for me?  How is it best for me, right now, that I’ve lost access to the Blessed Sacrament, the Mass, Eucharistic adoration, Confession? 

It’s vital that each of you who is struggling with the loss ask that question, and not just accept answers from other people, including me.  And you need to turn it into a prayer, not just asking yourself, but asking God.  Because there are reasons for the loss.  God allowed it out of His love for you..  And those reasons vary from person to person, depending on our needs.  

I want to give some possible answers, not so you can just accept them, because they may not fit you and your needs right now, but to serve as examples.  

1.       One possible answer for some is to increase our thirst for the Eucharist.  Maybe you’ve stared to take our Lord’s presence in the Eurcharist for granted.   Psychologically, we tend to desire things more once we are deprived of them.  So if this is going on for you, you can ask for the love for Our Lord in the Eucharist to increase

2.      The loss of the Eucharist may help you to become in touch with some experience of abandonment or betrayal from your past.  There is a psychological technique called an affect bridge – that is where you work to remember when in the past you felt the same way you do now.  For many of you, grief or anger over the loss of the Eucharist may tap into some other unresolved loss in your life.  You can check that out.  In your prayer, your quiet time, go back through your life to the times when you have felt the same way as you do now about the loss of the Eucharist.  Is there something there, unresolved that you should know about?  Something that God is allowing to surface in you now, so that you can take it to him for healing?

3.      For me, I’m finding out how dependent I have been on my routine.  I rely on my routines.  For me this is about not relying on my spiritual plan of life and my regular spiritual routine.  It’s about relying on God moment to moments and maintaining the Presence of God, recollection, rather than just during my prayer time.  It’s about coming back to deepening the relationship, and embracing my dependency.  I don’t need daily Mass or an hour of Eucharistic adoration to do that.  In this situation, I can embrace the idea that it’s better that I don’t have them.  As hard as it is for me to say that.  I need God, and He is not bound by my lack of access the Eucharist.  

Again, it’s important that you for yourself ask how this loss of the Eucharist is best for you.  And if you are so moved, share it – let me know.  Get in touch with me,  Send me an email at [email protected].  And if you want to learn more about your personal psychological reactions in this crisis and how they interfere with your spiritual life, I am developing a short assessment and some limited-space webinars now. Sign up on our website at soulsandhearts.com on the coronavirus crisis: Carpe Diem page if you want to be notified when they are available.