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Kreezus

Lights on the Trees

7 min • 5 november 2021

Kreezus was written and produced by Local Business Comedy.

Lights on the Trees written by Stephen Perlstein. 

Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie

Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 

Vocals by Carl Tart, Markeia McCarty.


Local Business is a new sketch comedy group helmed by Joey Clift (Wabbit, Cracked), Nick Gligor (Fox ADHD, Cracked), and Stephen Perlstein (Wabbit, UCB Comedy). Corporations are not people, but Local Business is!


[Intro: Nina Simone]

Strange ornaments hanging from the christmas trees 

Lights on the trees


[Verse 1]

I just need to clear the snow now

It's been building since last Christmastime 

Now I'm going down for Christmas now 

And all I want is not to go fly now

Cause I ain't got the gifts on me right now 

And I told elves to build

Yeah, I told elves to build

But I'mma need a little more time now 

Cause I ain't got the giftiess on me right now 

And I thought elves could build

Yeah, I thought elves could build

These kidses surrounding me

All want something from me

Then they sit up on me

There’s no gift without me

We could've been Snow Buddies

Thought you'd be nice kids 'bout it

Now I know you naughty

So let's fly on with it


[Verse 2]

We could've been Snow Buddies 

'Stead you had to get gift hungry 

Let's take it back to your first Barbie 

When you asked for it from mommy 

She said no to your malarky

She said no to your malarky

But you got Barbie from me

And you was screamin' "POUND PUPPY!" 

Before the Wish List tore ya

Before the Wish List stole ya 

'Member Christmas was so fun?

When I would gift yaaaaaa

Before the lights on the trees

I know this fake Christmas tree 

Something strange is happening


[Verse 3]

You could've been Snow buddies

We could've

Ho! We could've been Snow buddies

Or was it cause the first Barbie

When we hung our first Holly

The gifts came from our heart-y

The gifts came from our heart-y

Before they call stores

Before the Black Friday shoppers

How you gon' fight through the stores?

It's like I don't even know ya

I gotta bring it back to the Claus


[Bridge]

Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer

Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer

Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer 

I ride with my Reindeers

I'd die for my...


[Verse 4]

To all them Jewish ass kidzes, try and get a freebay

Trying to get a freebay, now you talkin' crazy

I don't give a damn if your mom used to see me

It ain't Christmas, this business, need stop actin' greedy

She Instagram her gifts like #BadGiftAlert

I Instagram her back like #KidBitchAlert

I only ever see that sass gettin worse 

Two-thousand-pound coal, too big for your purse

Now you sittin' fireside, presents on the other side

No labels got your name, gotta check the card right

Then you aint satiated, I’m still flying world wide

Then you gotta go and tell your dad and thwart that 

Main reason cause your gift-friends got to sport that 

Mommy say you ain't appreciate and take them gifts back 

All your fucking gifts going back on the gift rack

Nothing now for show and tell, what you think about that?

All in all your tinsel honey, uh

Yeah-yeah, I got you girly

Next year I’ll gift you hard

Ho, Christmas aganony


[Outro]

That winter night holding long and long, 'din long 

Now waiting for the birthday gifts and (cry)

And cry and cry

And cry and cry

And cry and cry

And live and learn

And live and learn

And gifting and gifting like I'm lonely, lonely, lonely

And gifting all I have

And gifting all

And gift

And gift


Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus

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