Tips For How To Say Something Difficult To Your Spouse

There comes a moment in every marriage, if not many moments in marriage, that a couple needs to have a hard conversation with each other. This is one of those conversations that require a bit more than just chatting over dinner.

• Confronting sin
• Parenting differences
• Inlaw relationship conflict
• Big decisions
• Areas of growth or change

We have had our share of these.

We thought we would use this time today to share with you how we have experienced these types of conversations in our marriage and what we have learned, in hopes of encouraging you when these moments come up in your marriage.

The wrong way

• Emotionally charged

•   - No properly dealing with emotions
  

•   - Stuffing down until the conversation
  

• With generalities

•   - You always
  

•   - You never
  

• On different sides

•   - viewing your spouse as an enemy rather than partner
  

• Personal agenda or wrong motives
• Not specific and focused
• Drawing up other issues and mixing with current issue
• To be right

•   - I don’t care how I get here just must end our right
  

• Being hard & Prideful
• Right before a date or romantic experience….Bad Timing
• Discerning how important the thing is can it wait
• Is it sabotaging
• Our responses

The Biblical Way

• Timing is kind.

•  - If you have something important to discuss, consider the timing. 
  

• Being considerate
• Discerning
• Not avoiding.

•  - Go to brother in private to win your brother, not the issue. 
  

• Pray about it.
• Pray they receive.
• Pray about what you want to say
• Make plans for undistracted time to talk.

•  - This includes putting the phones away.
  

• Make/Take Notes.

•  - To keep you on point or to help you hear your spouse. 
  

• Be specific avoid generalities
• Know your end result.

•  - Always Reconciliation. 	
  

• Don't avoid the conversation.

•  - If you feel like you should say something, you probably should. 
  

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the intimacy of marriage. Marriage can me messy and challenging at times, but it is such an incredible place for deep love to exist. Please help us to be transparent in marriage. Help us to walk in light, as well as grace. Lord, please help us to confront the issues that need to be confronted and to say the hard things in love. We pray we would be courageous and humble, willing to make time for each other, to share and to listen. We pray we would have hearts that truly desire reconciliation. May You go before us and with us as we share these moments in marriage and may these moments be growth opportunities that make us stronger and that help us to love deeper.

In Jesus’ name, amen!

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