70. Divorce as Initiation with Trauma-Informed Life Coach Molly Blue Wilder

Divorce is an initiation. And like all initiations, it's a death. Death brings life. Life brings death. The only sure thing is change. And divorce helps us live this truth in ways that are sometimes harrowing, often wondrous, always alive.

Divorce is utterly thorough in its initiatory invitations. There are no parts of us that aren't asked to shift. I know this. And Molly Blue Wilder knows it. 

Molly's bio: 28 years and 7 kids into marriage, the family-centered life I meticulously crafted fell apart at the seams.Even though it was high time, the upheaval of divorce exposed my deepest attachment wounds. Disoriented; overwhelmed; reeling with grief, uncertainty and fear, I gradually learned to hold onto myself in each moment as it unfolded, rather than getting sucked into the painful vortex of the past or the anxiety of an unknown future. Applying the salve of practical skills, somatic awareness and powerful shifts in thinking, I lovingly attended to my healing process, allowing innate power and intuition to deeply root the growth of my new family structure and relationships. Today, as a somatic and trauma informed life coach, I’m a bridge of resources and support for those on a similar hero’s journey, facing the deepest wounds for the sake of wild self-reclamation, freedom, and powerful life creation.

I wish I had had someone like Molly to support me through my own initiation. (As I joke in the intro, astrology was my divorce recovery coach lol.)

In this beautiful conversation we discuss: 

• breaking up with the "good girl" archetype
• the outrageousness of our cultural celebration of "selflessness" 
• not only healing shame for the "bad decisions" of our younger self but actually falling in love with their wisdom and intelligence
• the importance of individuation and differentiation in secure attachments
• releasing our children from the ego's desire to be needed (LOADS of Mom wisdom in this conversation)
• healing by letting ourselves be whatever we previously thought was off-limits for us
• how, as space holders, healing our own trauma is the most loving thing we can do for our clients

Connect with Molly through her website. 

Check out her new podcast Growing Wilder. 

Follow Molly on Instagram. 

Molly and I share how we met in one of somatic healer Luis Mojica's small group spaces for space holders who have clients working with trauma. You may be interested in checking out my conversation with Luis on his podcast here and on Moon to Moon here.

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Podcast art by Angela George. Podcast music by Jonathan Koe.