100 avsnitt • Längd: 25 min • Oregelbundet
A monthly fiction podcast by Christopher Gronlund, a writer whose stories contain truths, but are mostly made up. Sometimes the stories are funny — other times they’re serious. Occasionally, the stories are odd. But you have Christopher’s word about one thing: he will never — EVER — share a story about lumberjacks.
The podcast Not About Lumberjacks is created by Christopher Gronlund. The podcast and the artwork on this page are embedded on this page using the public podcast feed (RSS).
Ferdinand Pérez gets more than he bargained for when he answers a flyer ad taped to a telephone pole looking for an enemy.
Content Advisory: “Enemy Wanted” deals with difficulty sleeping, a blurred sense of reality, crime, cartoonish violence, illness, a death, and wishing for an early end to life. That makes it sound dismal, but I assure you…it’s a blast of a story.
Also, it’s one with no swearing. Still, were it a movie, it would be rated PG (or maybe PG-13 for mature themes), so be aware. Also, because there are scenes with action, be prepared for the occasional surprising loud sound.
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Before we get to the story, I want to talk about the music in this one. Clarke Jaxton Motorbike makes electronic music and writes badass stories on his YouTube channel. (You should go listen and read some…most are only a couple minutes long.)
We started chatting after I replied to some of his work. One day, he contacted me — saying he would love to do the score for a Not About Lumberjacks story. Originally, we thought his music would be perfect for “A Very Strange Day (On Our Neighboring Red Planet),” from this year’s Christmas episode, but Mr. Motorbike was in the middle of scoring a feature film.
So, instead, he gets the first Not About Lumberjacks story of the new calendar year!
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Oh! One more quick thing: there’s mention of a soup review podcast in this story. Paul Csomo’s The Soup Review Podcast is a real thing, and you should check it out!
Onward!
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Credits:
Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Clarke Jaxton Motorbike.
Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.
Four years ago, I did a Q&A for the Behind the Cut episode for “Geocached.”
No idea why I’ve not done another, but with this being the long time between episodes (after back-to-back stories last November and December), it seemed like a good time to do another.
I asked members of the Not About Lumberjacks Patreon for questions — as well as some questions from social media. These were the results:
Links to people and things mentioned in the Q&A:
In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks collection of stories, “Christmas Miscellany 8,” I talk about writing coincidences that make it seem like writers copy from other writers or current events…
As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest episode, so you might want to listen to that first.
Ho Ho Ho! It’s that time once again…time for the annual Not About Lumberjacks Christmas episode. If you’re new, here, eight years ago I gathered up all my shorter short stories (like stocking stuffers) and released them for the holidays. Since then, the effort has grown, but no matter how random the tales are, the last one is always a Christmas story of some sort.
This year’s stories:
Disclaimer About “Christmas Spirits”: This story was written well before this week’s murder of UnitedHealthcare’s CEO. I am in no way capitalizing on timely news. Unfortunately, when one writes enough, they are bound to run into releasing a story that carries more weight because of a real-life event. (Example: When Stranger Things released an episode showing murdered children the week of [yet another] U.S. school shooting and began with a disclaimer.) Spoiler Alert: The CEO in this story lives. But…the last story of this year’s Christmas episode is bound to still evoke emotions in some, so I wanted to mention all this up front.
And now, the usual content advisory…
Content Advisory: Spread throughout the four stories making up this year’s Christmas episode are teen drug use, violence (humorous in places, but a couple rough moments in “Christmas Spirits”), teasing, a funeral, corporate greed, and–of course–swearing!
No matter what you celebrate this season (or not), I wish you and yours all the best as we face down the end of another year.
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Credits:
Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Various, all licensed through Epidemic Sound.
Stories and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.
Episode Transcript >> (Coming Soon)
In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story, “The Legend of Mighty Missy Stewart,” I talk about my love of tall tales and…dislike about asking for things…
As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest story, so you might want to listen to that first.
Join Mighty Missy Stewart and her badger buddy, Tamarack, as they come of age in a time of expanding frontiers and rugged lumberjacks!
Content Advisory: Were “The Legend of Mighty Missy Stewart” a movie, it would be rated PG. There’s some good-natured teasing and a non-descriptive death. What might put it into the PG realm instead of General Audiences is the mention of some woodland monsters. But this one’s a really light-hearted and fun tale.
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Audio stories are best with the perfect narrator, and “The Legend of Mighty Missy Stewart” is brought to life in the best of ways by the equally mighty Dave Pettitt.
Dave’s done a wide range of commercial work, including the National Hockey League and the National Football League. Cartoons and video games? Yep, Dave’s done both. But he’s best known for the unscripted reality series, Discovery’s Highway Thru Hell—and somewhere near the other end of the spectrum – GPS audio tours for an app called Guide Along.
You can learn more about Dave and what he’s up to at the links below…
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Credits:
Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Sandra Marteleur, Horna Spelmän, and uncredited traditional tracks, all licensed through Epidemic Sound.
Story: Christopher Gronlund.
Narration: Dave Pettitt.
In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story, “Overwinter,” I talk about why I wrote a very quiet story for introverts.
As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest story, so you might want to listen to that first.
Links to things mentioned in this commentary:
In this celebration of solitude, Daniel’s life is changed forever after spending 5 months alone on an island 13 miles off the Maine coast.
Content Advisory: “Overwinter” deals with a job change, longing, solitude vs. loneliness, and does contain a couple words you’ve probably heard on TV or at work this week. There are also a couple scenes with moderate consumption of alcohol.
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Credits:
Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Anders Schill Paulsen, licensed through Epidemic Sound.
Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.
In this behind-the-scenes look at the latest Not About Lumberjacks story, “Mudlarking,” I talk about a recent urge to keep telling more “serious” stories…and why I chose to write something a bit more adventurous [even ridiculous] instead.
As always, this commentary contains spoilers from the latest story, so you might want to listen to that first.
When Eva Barrett decides to give mudlarking on the Thames River foreshore a go, she finds something very strange during low tide.
Content Advisory: “Mudlarking” is pretty tame. There’s some violence in the form of fighting, and even then: it’s not brutal “people-are-dying fighting” — more like light action movie fighting. And when it comes to swearing, it’s pretty non-existent (you’re likely to hear worse on television). The worst it gets is an “S” word instead of “poop.”
If you’re driving, there is one collision with a vehicle. Not a screeching tires kind of crash, just a sudden THUD!
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Credits:
Music: Theme – Ergo Phizmiz. Story – Hampus Naeselius, licensed through Epidemic Sound.
Story and Narration: Christopher Gronlund.
Photo Credit: Susan Green.
En liten tjänst av I'm With Friends. Finns även på engelska.