Omnibus

In which centuries of inaccurate illustrations of our planet are abruptly upended by satellites and awestruck astronauts, and John never drew spaceships, just Japanese fighter planes. Certificate #35817.

In which budget-conscious Swedes rearrange American ideas about nutritious eating, and Ken is pretty sure M&Ms are not getting smaller. Certificate #54063.

In which we celebrate 167 years of Americans being able to claim any island they like as long as it has enough bird poop on it, and John thinks you can dip a pole in liberty. Certificate #39867.

In which a remote part of Idaho solves its beaver dam problem with some surplus parachutes and an even more remote part of Idaho, and Ken applies the transitive property to mules and culverts. Certificate #31297.

In which German health nuts give the world the idea of social nude recreation before the Nazis can tell them not to, and John thinks of something that is better than itching. Certificate #53668.

In which the ponds of New England become the wellspring of a new worldwide web of perishable foods, and Ken learns that gum is a forest treat. Certificate #23725.

In which the estate of the century's greatest scientist becomes a $200 million enterprise even as his brain tissue languishes in a cider box, and John compares it to pastrami. Certificate #21917.

In which a ski bum with dad jokes explores new frontiers of film distribution and extreme sports, and Ken is a water machine. Certificate #48941.

In which the rift between two Communist dictators leads to a blooming of mariachi culture in the fertile soil of the Balkans, and John is baffled by Vietnamese karaoke. Certificate #46465.

In which the smartest people in the world bloom early but often struggle to live up that promise later in life, and Ken's phone thinks he lives at the zoo. Certificate #50285.

In which tensions over slavery and its westward expansion boil over into an assault on the floor of the United States Senate, and Ken does not have a single cloak. Certificate #46116.

In which the world's overfished oceans begin to teem with a sudden surplus of ancient and puzzling invertebrates, and Ken just wants sex tourists not to pee on his bunion. Certificate #23757.

In which a teenaged slacker from Sedona with a love for llamas jump-starts the digital music age, and John explains why large people prefer old things. Certificate #38550.

In which a science fiction-loving professor dreams of conquering death with the cold, hard science of low-temperature preservation, and John just wants to be a brain with a nose. Certificate #48643.

In which the rituals of Masonry and its more casual offshoots produce a "golden age of fraternalism" for American men, and John is discomfited by noisy day care teachers. Certificate #35320.

In which a ghost-written memoir explains how a great British stage magician defeated Rommel in North Africa with his trickery, and John considers saying "Abracadabra" as a swear. Certificate #37883.

In which one Canadian newsman convinces America for several decades that daily drinking is the key to solving the "French Paradox," and John thinks Ken looks inhibited holding a spatula. Certificate #13766.

In which a nationwide panic over "stranger danger" turns regional dairies into activists for missing children, and John likes when things are "de minimis." Certificate #25468.

In which the world's first nuclear-powered merchant vessel is launched in all its modernist glory, and Ken wants an infinitely long ship. Certificate #26615.

In which the "behavioral sink" of rodent utopias is discovered in a Maryland barn, and Ken sings about a urinal trough. Certificate #38792.

In which a panel of concerned atomic scientists quantify the dangers of the nuclear age with a timely visual aid, and John's mother has a favorite fact about Benjamin Franklin. Certificate #26973.

In which a Yemeni construction crew finds a priceless trove of Quranic literature and promptly stuff it into potato sacks, and Ken would like to burn some French translators at the stake. Certificate #24503.

In which a unique piece of Jewish medieval art barely survives two European wars, and John imagines that the Venetian papal censor was a chill guy. Certificate #48606.

In which California's largest lake, created by accident in 1905, teeters on the brink of collapse, and Ken complains about a hotel sink. Certificate #44008.

In which an asthmatic British cartoonist sells two million copies of his books of non-jokes for cat skeptics, and John knows what the handle of a gun is called. Certificate #29573.

In which a Shakespearean insult for an obnoxious blowhard comes to be used as an anti-white slur, and Ken wants to test the Appalachians for testosterone. Certificate #38163.

In which a QAnon-like conspiracy theory insists that fancy 19th-century architecture was all built by a mysterious, long-lost superstate, and John is concerned about neighborhood dogs with heads the size of pumpkins. Certificate #20354.

In which a vast hoard of gold and diamonds disppears near the Mozambique border during the Boer War, and Ken thinks most penguin species look like hoboes. Certificate #15845.

In which Latin America's first Marxist democracy tries to collectivize the means of production by inventing a proto-internet in 1970, and John just hopes it was orange and brown. Certificate #53432.

In which the pilots of a Canadian commercial jetliner abruptly realize over Ontario that they're entirely out of fuel, and Ken likes sad character licensing attempts at amusement parks. Certificate #41746.

In which German university students create a new status symbol when they add swordplay to their drinking society meetings, and John's closet skeletons are all bar fights. Certificate #36857.

In which generations of New Yorkers read about, and lasso, a series of not-legendary-at-all interlopers beneath their city, and Ken doesn't think you should trim a reptile like a bonsai tree. Certificate #36161.

In which a self-proclaimed electronics prodigy from Greece wows the credulous Beatles with five years of inventions he will never invent, and John insists that his recursive t-shirt feature Wil Wheaton. Certificate #45939.

In which a future three-time Oscar winner becomes the nemesis of America's favorite fake swamp-rocker, and Ken has prepared a little skit about the death of Stalin. Certificate #42240.

In which underslept Wyoming railroad workers strike back against a tide of pushy brush and encyclopedia salesmen, and John appreciates the Jehovah's Witnesses. Certificate #12881.

In which the unsavory feeding practices of British dairy farms introduce Europe to a new degenerative brain disease, and Ken believes Prince Edward is not necessarily human. Certificate #41602.

In which mediums and other charlatans wage a 150-year war with their sworn enemy, elite stage magicians, and John would never yell at a lake or birdbath. Certificate #44722.

In which a pioneering chemist never sees a cent of the billions of dollars that her tough new polymer earns for her employer, and Ken wonders how many Alaskans fake their own deaths. Certificate #34836.

In which the greatest turncoat in Chinese history betrays every single warlord or government he ever serves, and John had the 4chan version of the '90s. Certificate #40824.

In which a playful-looking but delicate little species is unable to thrive anywhere but its 11-foot wide home near Death Valley, and Ken witnesses a jellyfish tragedy. Certificate #41036.

In which a British magazine very gradually takes over film culture with its once-every-decade top ten list, and John is careful not to endorse an invasion of the Sudetenland. Certificate #51403.

In which a series of lapses at a Union Carbide India chemical plant leads to the worst industrial accident in history, and Ken can't get behind a midnight tea break. Certificate #52760.

In which an Oklahoma tribe becomes the world's richest people before the swindling and the murders start, and John enjoys a web of intrigue. Certificate #47911.

In which a bizarrely illustrated codex baffles codebreakers for almost four hundred years, and Ken should not have sent that text about the collected works of Dickens. Certificate #42634.

In which Europe is so besotted with exotic ungulates that Roman emperors battle them, artists engrave them badly, and salons honor them in wig form, and John asks about Ken's milk bags. Certificate #27983.

In which underground nuclear testing in Alaska leads two Jewish Quakers into a new age of direct action in environmental activism, and Ken is grateful for the air fryer. Certificate #53211.

In which the divine right of kings, along with golden amulets, is considered the only cure for a disfiguring disease, and John considers which celebrities might be carved from wood. Certificate #22347.

In which a rare oxidized form of hemoglobin changes the skin color of a whole holler full of Kentuckians, and Ken wonders when elves got plastic surgery. Certificate #26015.

In which the world's first cultural superpower decides to make all its citizens a year or two younger overnight, and John could not have been a better baby. Certificate #38756.

In which a colorful newcomer to San Francisco loses a fortune on Peruvian rice and declares himself American royalty, and Ken would have pixelized Kiss. Certificate #42631.

In which a future music megastar bridges the gap between rock and hip-hop with one ambitious, illegal remix album, and John is such a good ally that he listened to Suzanne Vega. Certificate #19205.

In which a western religious holiday becomes a romantic poultry-eating occasion in modern Japan, and Ken destroys all his Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts. Certificate #24940.

In which an emperor convenes the first ever ecumenical council to figure out just whom Christians have been worshiping all this time, and John thinks the invention of the wheel led to mass depravity. Certificate #23027.

In which a national campaign to eradicate a misunderstood predator from the United States very nearly succeeds, and Ken would like to see John James Audubon burning in a pit. Certificate #52363.

In which utility companies take it upon themselves to provide the informational staple of every 20th-century household, and John is looking for a missing Jordanian. Certificate #48730.

In which a Finnish architect upgrades the prefab, modular homes of the 1960s by turning them into flying saucers, and Ken wants to know his table's name. Certificate #49729.

In which southeastern Arizona is menaced by a giant, murderous cryptid with a macabre rider, and John conjures up Mr. Clickety-Clack. Certificate #45334.

In which a man who can't find his golf balls solves every law enforcement problem known to man, and Ken has some bad news about parking tickets. Certificate #21137.

In which an earthenwork dam enjoyed by millionaires fails and a town of steelworkers disppears from the map, and John is terrified by the menace of West Virginia. Certificate #33180.

In which one lonely cosmonaut is left in space while his nation disappears from under him, and Ken thinks couples therapy should be about Mars. Certificate #35916.

In which a bored Phoenix mom has a sparkly dream that ends up changing both teen literature and Washington State tourism, and John explains that his virginity had little to do with vampires. Certificate #18573.

In which forests and their fungi form such close relationships that they essentially become a giant leafy brain, and Ken is excited about pre-Wil Wheaton science. Certificate #46162.

In which a space detective learns that hundreds of Richard Nixon's tiny gifts to the world have gone missing over the years, and John wonders if religious sacraments are more effective in space. Certificate #25614.

In which the counterculture of the 1960s encourages powerful institutions to create a square but multiracial song-and-dance troupe that takes the world by storm, and Ken imagines President Eisenhower as a stern ad executive. Certificate #53773

In which half a million colonists decide the American Revolution isn't really their thing, and John needs to know how many lanterns there were, just in case. Certificate #13747.

In which a medieval legend about a chunk of sandstone means that Scottish cooperation is necessary for Charles III to be crowned king, and Ken passes a Bible quiz. Certificate #42504.

In which the history of papal transportation is traced from sedan chairs to Hyundai sedans, and John has been researching the care and upkeep of Catholic moms. Certificate #15163.

In which cities, over the centuries, gradually discover the most efficient way to collect garbage for disposal, and Ken hasn't looked in his pocket since Christmas. Certificate #28712.

In which a computer millionaire takes early retirement to self-publish a 50-pound reference work about the chemistry of food, and John discovers a surprise cherry tomato. Certificate #24537.

In which one eventful Dutch voyage to Indonesia leads to a mutiny, a shipwreck, and a massacre off the coast of Australia, and Ken claims he has a bed in a port somewhere. Certificate #20229.

In which two Depression-era "drugstore cowboys" let their Wild West outlaw fantasies lead them into a life of crime, and John breaks the news to Ken about pirates. Certificate #26056.

In which the "Dragon's Jaw" across the Song Ma River in North Vietnam proves a challenge for the most advanced air weaponry on earth, and Ken thinks teens should be in parking lots. Certificate #22691.

In which human memory and identity are so fragile that a series of people simply walk away from them, and John wishes more things were the movie Tron. Certificate #28975.

In which a racist Mississippi state legislator kills his childhood friend, a civil rights organizer, in broad daylight with no consequences whatsoever, and John thinks Ken pronounces "Montgomery" like a Southern belle. Certificate #34239.

In which a pair of outraged Canadians, kept off the TV airwaves, change the world with their anti-consumerist art magazine instead, and Ken thinks Mr. Ed should have had pop-up ads. Certificate #29414.

In which the first daytime "supercouple" briefly makes soap operas a part of 1980s mass culture, and John wonders if a bride is "zaftig." Certificate #32511.

In which $300 million in 2022 money is unwisely spent on the world's first real-world cryptocurrency transaction, and Ken explains why a bro should not have an army. Certificate #11904.

In which we explore life in parts of the map that are bizarrely separated from the rest of their nations, and John thinks Alaska looks like a very fertile octopus. Certificate #51829.

In which a British fantasy writer reframes cost-of-living calculations for future economists, and Ken doesn't notice cobblers. Certificate #28114.

In which a gifted grappler with Iowa's biggest neck becomes America's first national wrestling celebrity, and pro wrestling reminds John of many of his past relationships. Certificate #29766.

In which America's first locomotive faces its greatest challenge, a group of angry teamsters, and Ken decides horses are his Sammy Hagar. Certificate #17918.

In which a church bishop's sanction makes the London borough of Southwark a haven for sex workers and other outcasts for centuries, and John would like to pay someone to chide him. Certificate #49605.

In which a series of largely male and largely odd people over the centuries start digging something and just don't stop, and Ken explains how Canadian lakes are named. Certificate #39623.

In which the daughter of a famous adventurer and hostage does landmark work in 20th-century music, film, and art, and John wonders whom he has talked to for the most hours. Certificate #39582.

In which a great American city got its water rights by illegally flooding John Muir's favorite valley, and Ken has opinions on where egrets should poop. Certificate #53464.

In which people find they can feel better about almost any ailment while taking nothing at all, and many of John's friends are Batman villains. Certificate #42734.

In which 3,500 miles of wire mesh are intended to keep the southeast corner of Australia dingo-free, and Ken thinks his dogs are choosing not to do jazz hands. Certificate #51283.

In which wartime Britain reacts skeptically to American racial segregation, leading to a firefight in the village streets of Lancashire, and John ponders the post-apocalyptic looting of opticians. Certificate #53093.

In which an LSD-loving psychologist is fired from Harvard and reborn in India, and Ken would like to be in a control group. Certificate #30296.

In which one of the most hapless teams in NBA history has a rebranding brainstorm, and John is mistaken about Jesus riding a dinosaur. Certificate #27789.

In which one of America's most historic warehouse districts is threatened by urban renewal, and Ken wants only the best rutabagas in his body. Certificate #48481.

In which an achingly innocent, gentle, and earnest new aesthetic spawns a decade of music, art, bangs, and Etsy stores, and John has forgotten every band except Kajagoogoo. Certificate #16065.

In which a taxonomy of five simple French recipes are used to define haute cuisine for generations, and Ken wants noodles named for Drake. Certificate #48504.

In which a Broadway legend retools a Depression-era endurance contest into a thrilling contact sport, and John wants Portland to succeed. Certificate #26834.

In which a crippling power outage strikes New York City during the worst summer in its history, and Ken receives strange wisdom from Nikola Tesla's severed head. Certificate #50165.

In which fake news from the Spanish-American War inspires a self-proclaimed socialist to write a pro-employer business classic, and John believes sadness can sink ships. Certificate #42914.

In which long-simmering resentments over the Falklands War boil over on the soccer pitch, and Ken thinks that Margaret Thatcher was actually a giant marionette. Certificate #38221.

In which a discredited pseudoscience from the 1980s makes a modern resurgence in the autism community, and John never wants to hear a second record by one of his favorite bands. Certificate #25222.

In which the waste byproducts of smelting iron become an annoyance and then a hotly contested resource, and Ken wants some aquarium gravel. Certificate #24789.

In which the worst naval accident in U.S. government history almost kills a president but inspires romance instead, and John doesn't love the coquetteish head-tilting in old photos. Certificate #52488.

In which the indigenous people of the Columbia River Plateau breed a new horse with a "leopard complex," and Ken notes you can't milk an emu. Certificate #36454.

In which a great American futurist spends decades experimentally recording his own personal data every fifteen minutes, and John wants to know if Ken is a good kisser. Certificate #49146.

In which figure skating produces the biggest movie star in the world and then a half-century of traveling live entertainment, and Ken believes in promoting peanut vendors. Certificate #43376.

In which some tail-wagging strays become mascots on the frontlines of social protest, and John has an idea for treating arthritic cows. Certificate #53229.

In which a proud Norwegian sea captain decides to one-up the fleet of Spanish boats at the Chicago World's Fair, and Ken wonders how well Elvis knew Nixon. Certificate #21995.

In which an American rocketry pioneer gets over a breakup by trying to summon an ancient sex goddess into our dimension, and John has a modest proposal on school prayer. Certificate #36297.

In which the biggest segment of America's entertainment economy almost disappears in a single year due to lousy product, and Ken is too shy to play Zaxxon in public. Certificate #24180.

In which a great Victorian master of nonsense creates a world of riddles that aren't really riddles, and John thinks a roast chicken has definitely caused a murder. Certificate #35725.

In which the history of water mattresses is traced from ancient goatskins up to 1970s hedonism and even science fiction, and Ken's bed is not moving his butt. Certificate #40450.

In which a series of questionable legends about premature burial lead to an inventors' boom of escapable caskets, and John has been handcuffed at least seven times. Certificate #35676.

In which a surprisingly broad spectrum of conspiracists discovers a secret set of rules for outsmarting the U.S. government, and Ken wishes some of his enemies could be flogged more. Certificate #29113.

In which an upstart media mogul hatches a plan with Moscow to challenge the Olympics and end the Cold War, and John looks for the sexiest pictures of a former First Lady. Certificate #21182.

In which brave souls from Siberia to Zimbabwe try riding and milking some rarely domesticated animals, with mixed results, and Ken wants to put a newborn baby on an ostrich. Certificate #52260.

In which one low-budget action flick forever rewrites the rules of how movies are marketed, and John thinks Spider-Man's aunt is the only real movie star. Certificate #33734.

In which a Yale psychologist attempts to explain the Holocaust using research techniques considered unethical today, and Ken has a theory about the origins of Jeopardy! Certificate #20495.

In which the "Times Square of Europe" is bombed into 150 acres of rubble and eventually the greatest real estate opportunity of the post-Cold War world, and John lists the only three places in Germany. Certificate #38531.

In which Apocrypha gospel adventures and medieval miracles are ascribed to the sacred foreskin of Jesus of Nazareth, and Ken disapproves of hand magic in our schools. Certificate #52348.

In which the dead center of the Pacific Ocean is revealed to be the home of microplastics, sunken spacecraft, and possibly giant sea monsters, and John refuses to leave his keyboard player in the desert. Certificate #49394.

In which an Australian national treasure and a Chinese resort race to revive the most disastrous brand in maritime history, and Ken is fed up with the sulfurous steel of Belfast. Certificate #50231.

In which Swiss mercenaries will desert their post if you whistle a folk song about cows, and John wishes you many goods and cheese. Certficate #26419.

In which a well-mustached electrician starts a labor movement that even Ronald Reagan can get behind, and Ken is working on a chess novel. Certificate #26170.

In which terror of falling behind the Swiss leads the White House to introduce America's children to a new and tramautic form of physical education, and John wants to landscape the top of Mount Rainier. Certificate #39398.

In which a multitude of actresses and one journalist remember being the model for the Columbia Pictures logo, and Ken's fuse box is in the wrong place. Certificate #28564.

In which a French-only precursor to the World Wide Web appears in the late 1970s in a wave of Gallic futurist fervor, and John may have been making long distance calls from a Parisian prison. Certificate #23054.

In which a Bedouin cultural revival in modern-day Arabia leads to a thriving circuit of competitive camel events, and Ken thinks Brazil is acting a little desperate. Certificate #37337.

In which we follow the evolution of the human brow from prehistoric man up through the Kardashians, and John looks into Sanskrit. Certificate #22352.

In which a Beverly Hills celeb photographer, a Siamese kitten named Sassy, and a Broadway legend collaborate to create modern poster culture, and Ken hates the ticking of a giant Garfield watch. Certificate #19046.

In which a Canadian veterinarian saves an orphaned cub on his way to France, unwittingly giving the world a great literary gift, and John thinks there should be a railway car just for thrash metal. Certificate #51029.

In which an Oregon pop trio become near-stars of record, TV, and screen in the mid-1970s, and Ken wonders who the Bee Gees are romancing in the afterlife. Certificate #37614.

In which a new breed of Portuguese statesman rebuilds his capital after the worst natural disaster in European memory, and John thinks a rainbow would never hold up in court. Certificate #30150.

In which a wartime shortage of secret ingredient 7x gives the world its second favorite soda brand, and Ken pronounces beverages like an Okie. Certificate #25939.

In which modern surgery begins at Versailles inside the most beloved bottom in all of France, and John has Moroccan gravel in his foot for years. Certificate #52937.

In which a minor bit of a movie score improbably becomes a chart-topping hit thanks to daytime soaps and Olympic gymnastics, and Ken doesn't enjoy the bongo as a lead instrument. Certificate #25729.

In which a Hungarian composer and virtuoso pianist becomes Europe's first rock star, and John is looking for a German countess with the right braids. Certificate #39341.

In which a two-time Nobel Prize winner believes he has discovered the cure for the common cold, and Ken wants cilantro to tell him what to do. Certificate #31531.

In which a coinage act officially defines American currency much smaller than a penny, and John has an important question about a shrimp restaurant. Certificate #40326

In which 1990s America becomes convinced that the world's least cuddly stuffed animals are the road to financial freedom, and Ken's very valuable comic book gets covered with jelly. Certificate #47159.

In which Victorians use February 14 to woo their sweethearts but also to insult all their enemies, and John reveals the best night of the year to play a concert. Certificate #36155.

In which scandal-plagued Hollywood hires a Harding Administration official to clean up suggestive movies, and John is a student of kissing. Certificate #29282.

In which a German empress comes within a whisker of the English crown during a bloody civil war, and Ken discovers history's most fateful case of diarrhea. Certificate #45359.

In which a Soviet agronomist misunderstands genetics so badly that millions of people die, and John finds giraffes to have the sexiest eyelashes. Certificate #27832.

In which a Japanese college dropout invents a new kind of not-entirely-useless invention, and Ken enjoys a tidy sum. Certificate #36799.

In which accounting records become the basis for an important new genre of Native American painting, and Ken gets nostalgic for his childhood dog food invoices. Certificate #25974.

In which a boring train ride from Devon leads to the creation of the modern paperback library, and John's daughter is a snob about sans serif typefaces. Certificate #41769.

In which a humble locksmith sues the dictator who stole his golden Buddha, and Ken thinks teaching multiplication to juries was a mistake. Certificate #46804.

In which a small group of nationalists leave Wales for the prairies of Argentina, and John explains why he pronounces "Nazi" to rhyme with "snazzy." Certificate #53240.

In which the world land speed cycling record reaches incredible heights using the power of the slipstream, and Ken doesn't need to hear the word "torque" so much. Certificate #43944.

In which the technology used to make the world's strongest and most beautiful swords is lost to time, and John is suspicious of redheads. Certificate #26207.

In which an American heiress leverages her dollhouse enthusiasm to invent a new scientific discipline, and Ken's aunt knows more about cyanide than his uncle. Certificate #34368.

In which an Australian whaling village learns to hunt cooperatively with the local apex predators, and John identifies the "ferrets of the sea." Certificate #46594.

In which an ultra-luxury Mercedes becomes the car of choice for rock stars and despots worldwide, and Ken wants to buy the least fascist doorbell. Certificate #49472.

In which a Rhode Island Quaker emerges from a coma rebranded as a nameless, genderless prophet, and John predicts the Temptations will get boils. Certificate #29297.

In which a maritime comedy of errors in a Nova Scotia harbor leads to the biggest non-nuclear explosion in human history, and Ken learns why you should never buy an old yellow shirt. Certificate #21795.

In which the President of the United States secretly produces his own version of Jesus without any miracles or narrative incident at all, and John produces a healthy, nutritious bowl full of Kurt Cobains. Certificate #30782.

In which a forgotten barrel of single malt whiskey becomes a multimillion dollar collector's item, and Ken refuses to drink beer out of a squirrel's butt. Certificate #13321.

In which the governor of Oregon keeps the peace by throwing the country's only state-sponsored rock festival, and John refuses to introduce two celebrities to each other. Certificate #21362.

In which a borax ghost town improbably becomes the performing arts center of Death Valley, and Ken is somewhat hazy on mules. Certificate #26351.

In which a forgotten Gilded Age celebrity suggests reinventing the tax code so that landowners pay their fair share, and John is discomfited by the city of Altoona. Certificate #41467.

In which a national hysteria erupts over the Satanists controlling your children's role-playing games, and Ken is just a big thimble. Certificate #38501.

In which a purple-clad comic strip hero becomes a warrior totem in the western highlands of Papua New Guinea, and John locates the Dominican Republic of Asia. Certificate #24126.

In which the U.S. government finally succeeds, after decades, in breaking up a massive telephone monopoly, and John is unfamiliar with a funny poem about an elephant. Certificate #22481.

In which a seven-hour boxing match tests the patience of New Orleans crowds and changes the rules of the sport, and Ken thinks straws should be made of cornstarch. Certificate #26215.

In which investigators differ on whether binge-drinking or a homicidal conspiracy is killing American college students, and John plays Frogger to get to the East River. Certificate #23582.

In which the largest bell ever cast spends four centuries in the mud at the bottom of a Burmese river, and Ken makes a terrible grandfather clock decision. Certificate #50855.

In which a burned-out ferry becomes an art deco American icon of the future and then a derelict eyesore, and Ken blames Seattle for the great San Francisco fire of 1906. Certificate #19361.

In which a Tokyo newspaperman with big dreams lures Babe Ruth onto a pre-war baseball barnstorming tour, and John regrets that fancy lounges are mostly for drinking. Certificate #36360.

In which the 1993 back-to-school week that never ended kills an early outpost of the internet, and Ken annoys online Winnie-the-Pooh fans. Certificate #47957.

In which a viral craze inspires hundreds of young Taiwanese folks to put a fish in their names, and John hits a cement wall in his attempts to mate. Certificate #50920.

In which two pioneering women and amateur Jungians devise a way to classify sixteen different types of human personality, and Ken explains his Star Trek slash fiction. Certificate #36282.

In which the discovery of quantum mechanics leads inevitably to the reappearance of a 30,000-year-old warrior god from a lost continent, and Ken proposes missionaries for silverware. Certificate #27324.

In which a complex of massive earthworks in southern Illinois is assumed to have been built by Vikings, Hindus, or Welshmen, and John is fascinated by sexy voodoo. Certificate #34924.

In which a mysterious treasure is founded in a central London basement, and Ken has a question about the various beads and bangles of Aerosmith. Certificate #7089.

In which the "soldier king" of Prussia recruits and kidnaps Europe's tallest men to serve as his grenadiers, and John admires "merry" people of every height. Certificate #10109.

In which we trace the surprisingly long and eventful history of body hair grooming, and Ken wonders if Brad Pitt will be hot forever. Certificate #33732.

In which apricot pits are discovered to be a cause of cyanide toxicicity rather than a cure for cancer, and John wanders Europe under the protection of a United States Senator. Certificate #527.

In which erosion on North Carolina's Outer Banks prompts the government to move a twelve-story lighthouse half a mile inland, and Ken is in favor of shipwrecks when the ships are bad. Certificate #6374.

In which a gifted Yorkshire boy fails to talk the League of Nations into a thirteen-month year, and John thinks autumn gets short shrift. Certificate #25901.

In which America's richest men invent many, many types of securities fraud while tussling over a New York State railroad, and Ken imagines a zoo full of cows. Certificate #32641.

In which a prehistoric nomad becomes the center of a heated legal battle nine thousand years after his death, and John announces a hydroplane race. Certificate #17567.

In which two Nazi brothers divide a German town into rival athletic shoe factions, and Ken plans a hotel heist. Certificate #31961.

In which one Melanesian village decides, sight unseen, to worship the Duke of Edinburgh, and the gods imprison John in a small ravine. Certificate #50227.

In which the invention of a Bay Area cheerleader becomes science's most exhaustively studied stadium ritual, and Ken doesn't think harbor seals come in different colors. Certificate #4418.

In which twentieth-century America becomes the only time and place in history when people drop letters into their names, and John renames himself in the phone book. Certificate #21831.

In which a clever drillbit company accountant cons banking bigwigs into believing an acre of Wyoming is covered in precious gems, and Ken suggests a touching tribute to Paul Anka. Certificate #52348.

In which a failed Chicago flying saucer cult leads to a landmark study in social psychology, and John blames religious fervor on diet pills. Certificate #17854.

In which an efficient new piece of French glassware changes the history of lighthouses, and Ken learns the exact age of Discovery. Certificate #52246.

In which a modernist Manhattan bohemian accidentally writes the great American bedtime story, and John regrets making his professor voice Austrian. Certificate #44141.

In which scientists from Aristotle up to modern-day Tanzania try to understand the paradoxical way water seems to freeze, and Ken thinks baseball should have cheerleaders. Certificate #25481.

In which a hero of the Second Boer War turns an ill-advised siege into a worldwide youth movement, and John isn't sure if one can tell time with a cannon. Certificate #31247.

In which the American government only gets serious about environmental cleanup after a river in Cleveland bursts into flame well over a dozen times, and Ken believes he could manufacture gravel. Certificate #12398.

In which a Pacific nation loses its founding document and has to ask nicely for a photocopy replacement, and John missed his chance at an assumed identity. Certificate #23621.

In which walrus genitals supply an important element to Alaskan folk art, and Ken will not inspect the underside of a wallaby. Certificate #45999.

In which the uninterrupted 600-year succession of Tibetan Buddhist leadership is threatened by political oppression, and John admires a hat that looks like a banana. Certificate #32762.

In which a series of valleys in central Germany become the focus of Cold War military strategy for generals "fighting the last war," and Ken orders a baby online. Certificate #51668.

In which a "Basque transvestite" leaves her San Sebastian convent in 1607 to become one of the most dangerous men in South America, and John thinks an Italian pope would be a little naughtier than a Spanish one. Certificate #11658.

In which a great spiritual leader lists all the kinds of dice and pick-up sticks and toy windmills that are off-limits to the enlightened, and Ken wants to lick a tetherball pole. Certificate #25968.

In which the same folk song is embraced by both sides of the U.S. Civil War, albeit with different lyrics, and John accuses a Supreme Court justice of having a racist ringtone. Certificate #27330.

In which early America, hoping to keep up with the Chinese, is caught up in an obsession with white mulberry trees, and Ken marvels at the hanky-panky that must go on in every Olympic Village. Certificate #26780.

In which a young man from French Togoland survives a snake attack and embarks on a lifelong quest to see the Arctic, and John loses a large rooster. Certificate #36809.

In which a German industrial town builds a unique new type of suspension railway that fails to catch on worldwide, and Ken disses the Eiffel Tower. Certificate #36460.

In which a Midwestern quack becomes a radio tycoon (and almost governor of Kansas) by extolling the virtues of animal testicles, and John eats cheese out of a pocket. Certificate #42674.

In which we are introduced to the most exclusive cinema-musico-academic club on earth, and Ken volunteers to provide a guest rap. Certificate #32655.

In which a maverick German engineer tries to give an African dictator his very own space program, and John reminds us that astronauts are often quite short. Certificate #48059.

In which a city-sized segment of the world's whaling fleet is trapped together in Arctic ice off Alaska, and Ken blames the horrors of the industrial world on whale ghosts. Certificate #31403.

In which one pioneer's midlife crisis leads him to a brush with Donner Party death and then prosperity in gold rush California, and John is tempted to murder a bassist with a whip handle. Certificate #51638.

In which contraband East German equipment helps create an underground publishing movement in the Soviet Union, and Ken's favorite typeface is now tainted. Certificate #37914.

In which a rare recessive plant gene produces a persistent superstition and a cutthroat collectors' competition, and John will never mock Allah. Certificate #12598.

In which very, very large oil paintings become the 19th-century precursor of the modern movie theater, and Ken has never seen the sun rise by choice. Certificate #14751.

In which some controversial Bible theology sells 65 million apocalypse thriller books and even shapes American foreign policy, and John can identify sinners on a plane. Certificate #40618.

In which a Ukrainian-born tailor brings the first outrageous stage wear to the American music scene--but in country and western, not glam rock--and Ken is unsure about his sky-blue pants. Certificate #27201.

In which English inherits some "postpositive adjectives" from the Norman Conquest that continue to confuse high-ranking federal officials to this day, and John thinks companies should have one vice president tops. Certificate #18999.

In which a series of typographic attempts to improve on the exclamation point and question mark are doomed to failure, and Ken is unable to justify the existence of the backslash. Certificate #22311.

In which America's most beloved television host and moral exemplar composes a series of now-mostly-forgotten children's operas, and John thinks Star Wars is what ends childhood. Certificate #29242.

In which the Soviet Union attempts to close its "Concorde gap" with the West by developing its own terrible supersonic passenger jet, and John is okay with pilots showing off as long as they're in a bar. Certificate #36689.

In which Procter & Gamble spends almost thirty years trying to bring its fat substitute to market, only to see it vanish from the public memory almost immediately, and Ken just wants to eat devil's food cake. Certificate #51232.

In which Scottish mill-worker William McGonagall becomes notorious for his utterly sincere but terrible poetry, and John plans to instigate a sex riot. Certificate #44448.

In which we study the long history of inspirations getting jotted down on scrap paper, and Ken learns he's too lively to be a rock musician. Certificate #44181.

In which Sweden literally changes directions overnight, and John feels that the samurai spirit is all in the details. Certificate #30932.

In which a poltitical revolution in Bolivia produces a new wave of visibility for the nation's hat-wearing indigenous women, and Ken wonders which communist dictators were cuddly. Certificate #16179.

In which a new gypsum miracle product takes more than a century to replace lath-and-plaster walls in home construction, and John thinks lizards have ears. Certificate #35059.

In which a now-forgotten Quaker teenager becomes the most fiery and most famous woman orator of her time, and Ken has no idea if Norman Schwarzkopf is alive or dead. Certificate #44568.

In which an aristocrat's private bet about gullible audiences leads to a 1749 theater riot, and John thinks Dick Cheney should have a podcast. Certificate #16793.

In which the Moog synthesizer and the "plant consciousness" movement of the 1970s produce a rare collector's item for lovers of weird music, and Ken refuses to buy his children reptiles. Certificate #27581.

In which the president wears beige to an August 2014 press conference, suddenly creating three or four new kinds of political discourse, each worse than the last. Certificate #35844.

In which we trace two centuries of people being briefly interested in three-dimensional images, and John gets a bad case of "Intellivision thumb." Certificate #27012.

In which a Siberian mystic gets so cozy with Russian royals that he ensures the success of the Bolshevik Revolution, and Ken wonders if he blinks the normal amount of times. Certificate #38899.

In which the American love affair with demolition-based entertainment is born near Waco, Texas in an explosion of iron and steam, and John believes some flight attendants are aliens. Certificate #34659.

In which we follow the arc of nerd culture to the Council of Elrond where a certain kind of fan service is born, and Ken explains why people fight about Frodo and Jesus. Certificate #40170.

In which a zombie pope is forced to stand trial in 9th-century Rome, and Ken discovers a generation of people with strong opinions about the word "zoology." Certificate #28349.

In which an online covered wagon auction unearths an almost-forgotten genre of itinerant performer, and John refuses to identify the Tijuana of Europe. Certificate #46962.

In which an Australian cricket team creates an international controversy with an unorthodox but legal strategy, and Ken accidentally does a Boston accent. Certificate #30080.

In which a modern-day treasure hunter becomes convinced that a priceless trove of British fighter jets is buried at the end of an airport runway, and John becomes a realtor for Myanmar. Certificate #34112.

In which the Internet is born in 1945 when a radar technician in a bamboo hut reads a Life magazine article about a futuristic desk, and Ken wonders if anyone smoked weed at Los Alamos. Certificate #18461.

In which an inept attempt at a Portuguese-English phrasebook becomes an enduring comedy classic, and John celebrates the invention of the stirrup. Certificate #29469.

In which the most famous socialist rabble-rouser of her time returns from her 1919 execution (maybe) as a headless mummy, and Ken wonders if ancient Irish peasants had combination skin. Certificate #27337.

In which a set of rare ocean and weather conditions in Alabama can lead to periodic seafood explosions, and Ken and John agree that Muscle Shoals must be in the wrong place. Certificate #38099.

In which the wealthiest and most socially awkward British thinker of his time revolutionizes science, mostly in secret, and John wants to harvest clones at Packers games. Certificate #47447.

In which we consider an alternate timeline where the Beatles' third movie was a psychedelic Tolkien adaptation instead of a bummer documentary, and Ken sticks up for sanitation. Certificate #51290.

In which a mutt from the mean streets of Connecticut becomes a decorated hero in the trenches of World War I, and John is only good at half of rugby. Certificate #26161.

In which the gross gunk from the back end of a rodent is discovered to be an invaluable perfume ingredient and even flavor enhancer, and Ken's Sunday school teacher does not want a high-five. Certificate #36682.

In which Midwestern pilots are unable to resist the gaping maw of the St. Louis skyline, and John watches a Wim Wenders movie fourteen times without ever seeing the beginning. Certificate #30320.

In which an acid trip and a NASA space photo inspire a new guide of counterculture "tools" for living, and Ken helps John get his Nixon back. Certificate #51410.

In which we learn how a "system" of Scandinavian minimalism put on a happy face and became the most popular toy in the world, and John tries the art of the deal with Ken's kids. Certificate #50469.

In which a series of corporate mergers and one amusement park fire conspire to rob the world of a priceless musical heritage, and Ken regrets renting a fancy car. Certificate #43485.

In which four clipper ships race to London in the most exciting contest of the 19th century, and John thinks race cars should deliver cocaine. Certificate #38646.

In which southwest Washington State becomes the epicenter for lazy Sasquatch fakes, and Ken explains how the Jersey Devil probably reproduces. Certificate #17742.

In which a presidential grandchild with a reasonable CIA departmental budget is all it takes to overthrow Iran, and John reveals the only downside of firing a howitzer. Certificate #39131.

In which Teddy Roosevelt and his son celebrate the end of his manly presidency by almost dying in South America, and Ken is tricked into discussing Mato Grosso. Certificate #27531.

In which a series of traumatic train accidents and a broke astronomer conspire to re-invent time as a flat circle, and John accidentally attends a clock unveiling. Certificate #13818.

In which a freak Pacific storm in 1832 makes one young castaway an unusual ambassador for the Empire of Japan, and Ken is unable to justify the Gospel of John. Certificate #37850.

In which a fiery apocalypse outside Rome, New York marks the cultural endpoint of the 1990s, and John spends his whole childhood reading about armaments in Janes publications. Certificate #27287.

In which a Norwegian amateur anthropologist sails a raft from Peru to Polynesia to push a pet theory, and Ken covets ink and gold. Certificate #18688.

In which we follow the long, strange journey that finally got World War I and World War II their names, and John goes for drinks with his high school principal. Certificate #24737.

In which itinerant snowbirds turn an abandoned desert naval base into a trash-mountain utopia, and Ken hopes a nuke lands on his head. Certificate #33204.

In which modernity discovers a late Renaissance composer with a history of ahead-of-his-time harmonies and lurid murder, and John scats like Cab Calloway after midnight. Certificate #39859.

In which a Brooklyn-born fast food manager slaps some paramilitary berets on local kids and starts a new community policing movement, and Ken wonders how to allocate the stripes on the American flag. Certificate #25639.

In which we trace at least four secret identities of the most reclusive novelist in literary history, and John gets a terrible fake ID from the fake ID store. Certificate #39453.

In which we learn why Los Angeles and other post-war American cities have tens of thousands of the same apartment complex, and Ken wonders where Philip Johnson's water heater is. Certificate #25380.

In which a throwback British baronet (sort of) completes seven marathons on seven continents in seven consecutive days, and John runs like a rhinoceros. Certificate #20800.

In which Detroit's first "cool" car executive almost goes to jail in an attempt to save his weird car and foundering company, and Ken says it's okay for kids to climb into refrigerators now. Certificate #36728.

In which a Prussian schoolteacher's wife founds a failed anti-Semitic utopia in Paraguay and creates fascism's favorite philosopher, and John wants to keep Nazis off the Moon at all costs. Certificate #42582.

In which we look at the long history of romanticizing rural life, from the Enlightenment all the way up to today's Instagram lesbians, and Ken accuses Thoreau of "glamping." Certificate #45989.

In which we learn what causes the "frequency illusion" of recently learned facts immediately reappearing into view, and John has too many books on his bed for romance. Certificate #36846.

In which far-left European terrorism of the 1970s produces West Germany's own Marxist-Leninist "Bonnie and Clyde," and Ken feels bad for that kissing nurse in Times Square. Certificate #26524.

In which we learn that the massive global banana export market is a precarious monoculture doomed to disaster because of a tiny fungus, and John thinks Sean Young might be a time traveler. Certificate #26039.

In which the intricate bead culture of the Eastern Woodlands tribes confuses new British and Dutch arrivals, and Ken refuses to let Thomas Jefferson make him be a farmer. Certificate #31448.

In which we learn what governments do when election results come back exactly tied, and John swings a Seattle mayoral election by asking for directions. Certificate #30371.

In which the era of intelligence testing produces an Oxford-based society for smarty-pants who, it turns out, mostly want to solve puzzles, and Ken is shamed for identifying an antelope. Certificate #43519.

In which the U.S. military battles black marketing and currency destabilization by paying Korea- and Vietnam-era servicemembers in play money, and John learns about a 1990s fad for the first time. Certificate #46965.

In which an unfinished Holocaust "dramedy" gains a reputation as the worst movie ever made even though no one has ever seen it, and Ken thinks a lot about dog poop. Certificate #46512.

In which an MIT professor worried about a digital future accidentally creates the field of human-machine conversation, and John flirts with a 54-year-old computer program. Certificate #36441.

In which a shy Chicago student becomes one of the most famous rock fans in America by virtue of her anatomically correct artwork, and John offers Ken an unwanted present. Certificate #30889.

In which a doddering general saves America from an alarming alternate history in which the Confederacy takes over the nation instead of seceding, and Ken objurgates against several things (but especially slavery). Certificate #15899.

In which an unnamed Greek shipping magnate "jumbo-izes" an oil tanker so big that it can't even navigate the English Channel, and John ponders digging a canal between Seattle and Omaha. Certificate #36640.

In which thousands of Mesoamerican "toys" in museums around the world turn out to be terrifying vessels for the screams of wind and death, and Ken dreams of wearing "Bespin fatigues." Certificate #34995.

In which the Department of Energy decides upon a bizarre way to transport nuclear warheads, and Ken applauds the conservation of Cold War consonants. Certificate #25154.

In which a feisty Texan single mom comes up with the gimmick that puts a friendly face on the appalling direct sales industry, and John recommends kicking a bear. Certificate #29266.

In which the Platonic ideal of American "prep" fashion catches on with Japanese hipsters before it does back home, and Ken finds someone to blame for his short Uniqlo pants. Certificate #21125.

In which a 1946 election in George results in chaos, fraud, public drunkenness, and broken furniture, and John decides to become a potato-hating beekeeper in retirement. Certificate #27176.

In which the very first amendment to the Bill of Rights, outlining the future of U.S. government, gets forgotten on its path to ratification, and Ken insults Delaware. Certificate #21125.

In which a hilariously minimalistic grocery ghetto blooms in no-frills Carter-era America, and John chases a memory of uniformed women plying him with cheese cubes. Certificate #34402.

In which the art of music recording is revolutionized by a troubled British record producer who doesn't read or play music, and Ken can't really think of any guitar pedals. Certificate #37241.

In which our modern recycling fervor is shaped by a mob boss who can't find a port for three thousand tons of Long Island garbage, and John has a dining room full of tin. Certificate #26561.

In which the nightmarish complexity of the world's non-standardized rail systems is marveled at, and Ken hatches a zeppelin-related plan to resurrect Dame Agatha Christie. Certificate #48966.

In which a single TV series builds the modern image of American police as righteous and efficient, despite much evidence to the contrary, and John uses its theme song in the bedroom. Certificate #35498.